- 2 days ago
NEW_The_Simpson_Movie_-_All_cutscene_-_In_full_HD_and_4KNEW_The_Simpson_Movie_-_All_cutscene_-_In_full_HD_and_4K-_All_cutscene_-_In_full_HD_and_4K
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The Simpsons
00:06Grand Theft Scratchy
00:10Fire!
00:11Scratchy!
00:40The Simpsons
00:41Wow, chocolate, half price!
00:43Excuse me, Fatty, you're eating our world.
00:47Hey, you like that rabbit thing from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland?
00:52What was it called?
00:53Oh yeah, Snow White and Stupid Town.
00:56For your information, I am the White Chocolate Rabbit.
00:59Hey, White Chocolate's not even chocolate. It doesn't even contain cocoa solids.
01:04Well, if I'm not real chocolate, then you probably wouldn't be interested in eating me.
01:10Mmm, White Chocolate.
01:14Not dreaming! Not dreaming! Not dreaming!
01:17What?
01:18Dammit, I was dreaming!
01:20Why is life so unfair?
01:22All I want is the ability to eat everything inside and turn into a giant ball!
01:26Is that too much, Tass?
01:28Damn you, reality!
01:33Hello, pathetic store nerd.
01:35One copy of Grand Theft Scratchy, please.
01:37Um, sorry, sir. That game is rated M.
01:40No problem. I have ID.
01:41This is a Cal Calzone Zone Frequent Calzone Eaters card.
01:45There's a free calzone in it for you.
01:47This never happened.
01:49Oh, wow. Teenagers are so dumb!
01:53Bart, what are you doing near a video game store?
01:57Buying a video game?
02:00I've heard about this.
02:02It's the game where you play a meanie bobeanie that murders other meanie bobeanies.
02:07I'm putting this game in the same place I put your swimsuit magazines and your BB gun.
02:12Homer's underwear drawer.
02:15Great. Now I have nothing to play except the games I bought yesterday.
02:18And I'm totally sick of them.
02:25The Simpsons game.
02:27Hmm, this is so weird.
02:29The only Simpsons game I can think of is the one where we all pretend Dad isn't an alcoholic.
02:33What could it be?
02:34Wait a sec.
02:34This is a manual for a video game set in Springfield.
02:38And Dad is a character.
02:40And so is Mom.
02:41And Lisa.
02:42We'd want to play her.
02:43Whoa.
02:44I'm in this game.
02:46I wonder what my moves are.
02:47Jumping, floating.
02:48Oh man, I've got to try this.
02:55Wow!
02:56This is the only good book ever written.
02:57Hey, boy.
02:58Look what appeared in my magic drawer.
03:00Hey, what's with the fruity getup?
03:02If you're planning on coming home like that, don't bother.
03:04Dad, I'm a superhero now and I have all these awesome powers.
03:07Super powers, huh?
03:09Well, that's cool, I guess.
03:10I was gonna go shoot bats while reading swimsuit magazines in this cave.
03:13Wanna come with?
03:24Remember, people.
03:25We came to this museum to steal, not learn.
03:29Don't look at any of the displays.
03:31Stay focused.
03:36Come on, let's get out of here and find a situation where my new super powers could be useful.
03:40I think Lenny needs help moving.
03:42Dude's got a huge futon.
03:44Wait!
03:44Maybe I should stop the bullies from robbing the museum.
03:46Well, you're the dark avenger of the night.
03:49Hey, Bartman.
03:50You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
03:53I bet not.
03:59Stop freaking me out with your unusual gliding and slingshot abilities.
04:04We're just henchmen, man.
04:05Skinner hired us.
04:07Principal Skinner?
04:08Yes, it is I.
04:10I mean, me.
04:11No, it is I.
04:12Yeah.
04:13The city cut our science budget so much I needed to steal from the museum just to have visual aids.
04:19I've never heard of such an evil plan.
04:21You're like if the Iron Sheik had a baby with Rowdy Rowdy Piper times a billion.
04:26This Azoraptor's coccyx would have inspired a generation of students to fall in love with science.
04:33Oh, well.
04:34Looks like it's jail for me.
04:36Sorry, sorry.
04:37Would have been here sooner.
04:38But I can't get the hang of this dang map quest.
04:41Turns out there's a north and a south Elton Avenue.
04:44Heh.
04:45Really messed me up.
04:46You've learned a valuable lesson, Skinner.
04:48Confessing to crime doesn't pay.
04:50Book em, Wiggum.
04:51I know I'm supposed to book em.
04:53Gosh, you don't have to be such a jerk about it.
05:00I think I'm gonna like having unbelievable superpowers.
05:05When you get out there, remember, no chewing.
05:07Chewing's for chumps.
05:08Nothing but swallow.
05:09Nothing but swallow.
05:10I hope I win.
05:11Last year I was the first guy to barf.
05:13Barf?
05:14Please, in this business, we refer to that as a Roman incident.
05:18That does sound a lot classier.
05:19What are you worried about?
05:21You have video game powers on your side.
05:23It's like cheating, but cheating.
05:25Woo-hoo!
05:26Cheating!
05:27Duffman welcomes you to the Duff Ultimate Eating Challenge!
05:31I dedicate this gorgian to my dearly departed mother.
05:35She choked here in a haggis-eating contest.
05:38Hoy recuperare mi dignidad!
05:40With great hunger comes great responsibility.
05:43Gentlemen, start your digestive trance!
05:45On your mark!
05:46Get set!
06:00I don't think I've ever seen such a beautiful sight.
06:03Homer, you did it!
06:04Gah!
06:05Oop!
06:07Awww!
06:08Geez, that was my choking hand.
06:10Still, you did great.
06:12Homer, Duffman is proud to declare you our ultimate eating champion!
06:17Oh, yeah?
06:18Here to present you with the red Barclay championship belt is last year's champion!
06:28Ooh, we'll need to get that adjusted!
06:32Akira, how did you win?
06:33You're so tiny!
06:35Technique!
06:45And now, the losers have to clean up!
06:49Oh, yeah!
06:56You maniacs!
06:57You blew it up!
06:59God damn you!
07:00God damn you all to hell!
07:02Hey, less references, more mopping!
07:09Bart, Dad said you have super powers!
07:12That's amazing!
07:13How'd you get them?
07:14Manual.
07:15That manual has staggering metaphysical implications.
07:18We have to take it to the proper authorities.
07:21We could do that, but wouldn't you like to know what your powers are first?
07:25I have powers?
07:26Wow!
07:27With these abilities, I can be a force for social justice!
07:31Oh, God!
07:32Can we skip this level?
07:33Come on!
07:34It'll be fun!
07:35You can hurt a lot of bad guys!
07:37Well, if there's gonna be hurting!
07:39So, we'll cut down all the forests in Springfield and turn each tree into a single luxury toothpick!
07:46Great idea, Mr. Burns!
07:48If one tiny question, won't that lead to, uh, environmental disaster?
07:52If you want to make an armlet, you have to wreck a few planets!
07:56Well said, sir.
07:58Well said.
08:05Hey, that sounds like a tree swallow!
08:07No, it sounds like a yellow-crowned heron!
08:09Oh, my God!
08:10That sounds like a chainsaw!
08:12No, it sounds like a buzzsaw!
08:18Hey, Carl!
08:19Why do we fight so much?
08:21Sometimes, I think it's because it's all we have left.
08:26You saved our lives!
08:27You kids are heroes!
08:28Yeah, we're gonna tell everyone we were rescued by, uh, uh, uh, uh, Homer's kids, whose names are...
08:37Bart and Lisa!
08:39Oh, I can't believe you forgot our names!
08:41You've known us our whole lives!
08:43So?
08:44We're not thinking about you all the time, you know?
09:02Okay...
09:03**BANG**
09:04**BANG**
09:14**BANG**
09:15**BANG**
09:17**BANG**
09:23Lisa, we did it!
09:25We destroyed the Factory!
09:26We put 200 hard-working Americans out of a job.
09:29How are we supposed to feed our families now?
09:31Uh, you could retrain in a field with a brighter future,
09:35like daycare management or sports massage.
09:38But I've been a logger all my life.
09:40My daddy was a logger, and his daddy before that,
09:42and his daddy before that.
09:44Hey, great story.
09:49All I wanted was to destroy our delicate ecosystem.
09:52And this is the thanks I get.
09:55I'm sorry, sir.
09:57You want me to have some goons rough up Al Gore?
10:00I'd like that.
10:03Yes, the legislative branch comes through again.
10:07Uh, Mom, keep reading.
10:09Hmm.
10:10Quimby's cozying up to that sleazy video game producer.
10:13That really burns my beehive.
10:16I must hasten home to play my new carjacking game.
10:22Give me a ride, jerk!
10:24Ah!
10:26Oh!
10:30Now, are you hurt?
10:32Heh.
10:32Nothing a smile and some medical attention can't fix.
10:35Hmm, that video game's gonna turn every kid in town
10:37into stabby Sam's and drive-by Betty's.
10:40Mom, I know how you could get that game banned.
10:43How?
10:43This manual tells us how to use superpowers.
10:46You mean I can talk to whales like Aquaman?
10:49Or do whatever Hawkman does?
10:51No, Mom.
10:52You have the power to convince crowds to do whatever you want.
10:56Just like Oprah?
10:57Okay, let's stop that video game.
11:15We've got to show Quimby our children won't be exposed to senseless violence.
11:20Lisa, burn that statue!
11:26Congratulations, Quimby.
11:27You made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.
11:31Why don't we celebrate with some interns?
11:34Sexy interns?
11:35Well, Springfield's sexy.
11:42Oh, my.
11:47I don't think he's coming out.
11:49We're going to have to use our secret weapon.
11:53No, Ned, not yet.
11:55I'm talking about Maggie.
12:01So, I'm ready to receive my bribe now.
12:05Oh, baby, the dollar sign doesn't lie.
12:11Dear God, we're not soaking, we're cooking.
12:17A mob of parents?
12:22A s-s-s-senator?
12:24Quimby, you specifically promised me no mobs.
12:27You said this town was full of slugs who would suck up our sexy sleaze with a smile.
12:32Consider yourself unbribed.
12:37Unable to secure a decent bribe, I have decided to flip-flop and ban sales of Grand Theft Scratchy for
12:42minors.
12:43The only people who want to play it.
12:50Mom, isn't it a little bit hypocritical that you're opposed to the violence in the itchy and scratchy game, but
12:56then you use violence to get your way?
12:58I'm sorry, Lisa, what?
12:59I-I just can't hear you over the roar of this appreciative crowd.
13:07Phew.
13:09That was so awesome!
13:10That was so awesome!
13:11Wow, that was the greatest day of my life!
13:14Oh man, all my life I wanted to be a human garbage disposal and now I was!
13:18Homie, don't you think you could put your new powers to better use?
13:22Oh? Like what? Eat terrorists and barf flowers?
13:24What did you do that was so great?
13:26For your information, I rallied the town to ban a very violent video game.
13:31Mom, if kids don't play Grand Theft Scratchy, they'll never learn real world skills.
13:36Like how to sell guns or hunt for hidden packages.
13:38You should talk, Bart. I heard that you destroyed half the Natural History Museum.
13:43And that's my favorite place to find solace.
13:46And while we're on the subject of yelling at each other, your little stunt with the loggers has put an
13:50army of regular Joes out of work!
13:52Way to go! Way to ruin lives!
13:54Of all the stupid, fat idiots!
13:56You wouldn't know what to do with the super power if your name was...
14:01Well, you're late, yeah, that's right late.
14:03Well, we're here, and it only took 300 Dekasols.
14:08You're the one who made us stop to visit your mother in space.
14:12Why do we always argue on space-cations?
14:15You're right, let's kill and space up.
14:33Oh, my God!
14:36Oh, my God!
15:05We're being invaded! We gotta do something!
15:09Aliens? Bet they're here to take our job.
15:11Guys, listen. We've been given special powers.
15:14And if lazily written movies have taught me anything, it's that with super powers come super responsibilities.
15:20So, on behalf of the town, let's go kick some alien butts!
15:25If they have butts to kick.
15:29No! Our powers aren't strong enough!
15:32We need to stop these spaceships, and there's only one person in Springfield who's smart enough to figure out how.
15:41I drank blue juice from under the sink!
15:44Oh, let's just find Professor Frink.
15:49Professor Frink! Are you home? We need to talk to you!
15:53Yeah, we're selling band candy!
15:55No, we need to tell him the truth!
15:57I am! I gotta move this candy, alien invasion or not.
16:01Whatever. It looks like he's not home.
16:03Fine. I'll break, you enter.
16:11This place is sadder than Moe's house, and that dude is sad.
16:15Bart, check it out. I think I know where Frink has disappeared to.
16:23No, stupid design!
16:25Greetings for nerds. Hop in.
16:41Wow.
16:43Crates? Coins? Hearts? Old video game characters? What is this place?
16:48It looks like some kind of factory.
16:51But what are they making?
16:52Why, they're making video games, my dear child.
16:55You see, when I traveled through my Rift portal, I discovered a world beyond ours.
17:02Welcome to the Game Engine!
17:05Yeah, yeah, great. Here's the thing. Our town's being attacked by aliens and-
17:09Don't you understand, son? Your whole life, up until this moment, it's been a mere video game.
17:13Yeah, yeah, what are you gonna do?
17:14Thing is, our video game powers aren't strong enough. We need upgrades, and fast!
17:18Well, I've anticipated this problem, and I've done what every video game player who doesn't have time to figure out
17:25things for himself does.
17:26You cheated!
17:27Exactly.
17:29Behold! The strategy guide!
17:31A cheat guide? I don't know, Bart. I do want to save the lives of everyone we love, but if
17:37that means I have to be dishonest-
17:39Oh, for crying out loud. Alright, Frank, let me see that book.
17:43Why, but help! An oversized monkey and his touches are unwelcome!
17:51Think happy thoughts, Frank! The super team is on the way!
18:13Thanks, Professor! Now we can take this book back with Mom and Dad and stop those aliens!
18:24aren't you coming professor no no no my place is here I've uh I've made a life for myself in
18:30this
18:30world with my lovely new bride finally a woman who understands me she is my everything
18:39oh and she's funny too oh oh I'm very happy dad look they're raiding the mall and sucking up
18:51innocent citizens where is mall security you always seem to be around when you take a whiz in
19:01the fountain sup sup see hey stop your thieving I spent all day clipping these coupons for flat
19:11screen magic picture machine brandine has to watch her stories in 1080i pixels this human has tiny
19:19pieces of paper that give him big big savings we must study him study him with anal probing
19:26of course with anal probing what else would we do talk to him
19:37thank god they're torturing that yokel it's the perfect time to attack
19:43cletus are you okay I think the dud busted my stank ball damn those rectally obsessed savages
19:51damn them well now you're free you can go back to your trailer shack lean-to
19:55or whatever uh technically it's a hobble but I ain't going nowhere those green fellers started a
20:02feud that won't be over till I poke something in their void hauses gross but fair
20:16side show bob don't bother crying out in terror in space no one can hear you scream we're not in
20:25space
20:26well we're in a spaceship not the same thing it's pretty weird that you'd be working with the aliens
20:31try not to think about it too much just focus on what an unexpected treat it is to see me
20:37here
20:37besides you won't live long enough to hear the convoluted explanation now cracks a noble heart
20:45good night sweet simpsons and flights of aliens sing thee to thy rest
20:59I told you to pick up your space rake no matter it was foolish to send a former tv clown
21:05to do an
21:05aliens work we will have our revenge
21:14sorry my bad
21:20dar when that mysterious beam hit the dolphins they became enraged and started attacking humans
21:27I tried to fight back but all I could see were snouts and blowholes
21:34oh sea captain I'm so sorry don't you dare pity me oh I yelled at a little girl I'm uh
21:41I'm just
21:42gonna go sit in my car wait a second you need to help us defeat the army of lovable fish
21:47-eating
21:48crab pleasers agreed there'll be a hatch out in the water behind the marine park meet me there
21:54and we'll beat back the scurvy dolphin invasion
22:08yeah I've had a great time today kids I almost never appear this much in the series
22:14huh of events that constitute your lives
22:23they foiled our plot we must have revenge revenge vengeance revenge payback is ours
22:31the mini egg rolls are done
22:42egg rolls delicious hot revenge revenge egg rolls dipping sauce egg rolls revenge
22:58good evening springfield kent brockman chasing local imbecile
23:02homer simpson and his delinquent son bart who have picked a fight with an out of control
23:06donut mascot statue bart simpson are you and your father insane
23:12hi lady i'm on tv i just said your name on tv don't tell carl unless he sees this in
23:17which
23:17case hi carl don't tell any i said your name
23:46hi carl don't tell any i said your name
23:58who's number one we're number one that's right homer try to show a little dignity in victory
24:05eat fist lard crutch
24:08shazbot how could lard lad lose to that guy
24:12don't yell at lard lad when you really want to yell at me i screwed this whole thing up
24:18you're right i do blame you
24:28oh my god it's the mothership this must be the level boss for this part of the game
24:33the boss quick everyone look busy
24:44guys look the hatch opens after every four laser bursts that's the weak spot when we need to fire
24:49hey kudos that ugly kid's right why are we exposing our weak spot after every four laser bursts
24:56you're right why do we even need to expose our weak spot at all
25:00thanks for the heads up earth dumbass screw fighting one family
25:04why don't we just blow up the whole town they can't stop us from doing that
25:08sounds good to space me
25:16this could do something these space octopuses are gonna get jiggy all over springfield
25:21did i use jigging right sorry the cheat guide doesn't have any more upgrades
25:25wait i know another way we can cheat the internet
25:29of course the internet that's where i cheat for school
25:34cheating is there anything it can't do
25:39check it out they have a walkthrough for a game called the simpsons game
25:42bartman eating contest alien invasion slaughtering dolphins
25:46it's describing everything we've done all day
25:48but what does it say we have to do next
25:50nothing i hope
25:51well it says that we need to find
25:54move it i want to play solitaire
26:08where are we
26:11we're in the game engine
26:12if our life is a video game
26:14this is the factory where it was made
26:17that's ridiculous i'm not a video game character
26:19i'm a real life person with dreams and feelings
26:25all right fine i'm a video game guy
26:28now can i ask a question
26:30if this is a video game
26:32where do we put the quarters
26:33oh my god it's a nerd
26:36that's right the nerdiest nerd in the computer verse
26:42dad that's will right
26:43designer of sim city and the sims
26:46don't forget my biggest flop sim sandwich
26:48its failure drove me mad
26:50mad that's why i live here now
26:52finding a home for old games nobody plays anymore
27:00video games are about what's new
27:02and the old is better off forgotten
27:05any of these fellows look familiar
27:11wow we look so pixely
27:13and poorly rendered
27:15which one is supposed to be me
27:17don't destroy them they may be obsolete
27:19but they're still alive
27:22help it's crazy
27:23if he destroys us we'll never escape from crusty island
27:26i march
27:27you can't do this
27:29of course i can
27:30i'm will right bitch
27:32and pretty soon when there's a new better simpsons video game than the one you're from
27:36i'll destroy you too
27:37ha ha ha ha ha szk
27:50this isn't right
27:51who put you up to this
27:53what's with those jerks at EA
27:54They hate me, you know. They're all jealous of me. Jealous, I tell them.
28:00Wow, this is like those places where people used to see movies before video piracy was invented.
28:06Oh, wow.
28:09Hey, thanks for helping us save our 8-bit selves. I had to do so many double jumps, I'm really
28:14tired.
28:15Do you like donuts, too? Sure do. Do you want one?
28:20Pixely. You're all right, old weird version of me.
28:23Attention, Smooth Simpsons. We've been around this complex for a long time and bring a warning.
28:28Cowabunga.
28:29One day, your video game, too, will be obsolete.
28:33No way. The Simpsons game is awesome.
28:35Just because every video game up until now has been destroyed and forgotten doesn't mean ours will be.
28:41Bart, she's right. I mean, I'm right. We're both right.
28:44No video game is safe from an industry that's always chasing the hot new thing.
28:48Sure, the Simpsons game is great with its unique upgradable character abilities,
28:52and its hilarious self-referential cutscenes.
28:55But what about when the Xbox 720 comes out?
28:58Or the PlayStation 4?
28:59No one will want to play us then.
29:01Damn this, Scott, for taking place.
29:03Video game-making nerds are getting rich and all I can do is die and die and die and die.
29:08Each death more painful than the last.
29:12But what can we do? We're just highly rendered pixels in a universe we can't control.
29:18Even as we speak, Springfield is being destroyed by a hackneyed alien invasion premise.
29:22Though somehow it's not a cliche when it's happening to you.
29:26Yeah, we don't even know who's butt to kick.
29:28There is one place you can go. The mansion of the Creator.
29:34He created all of these worlds. Maybe he can end this pointless cycle of destruction.
29:39The Creator, eh?
29:41I'm gonna triple combo punches, fat nerdy face.
29:44Correcte!
29:46Don't have a cow, man.
29:47You still say that, right?
29:48I hope so.
29:49The only way to get through the gate is to go into each of the new Simpsons games being developed
29:54by the Creator.
29:54Once you're inside each game, you need to find a keycard.
29:58Only the four keycards will combine to open the gate.
30:01Keycards? That is the lamest video game BS I've ever heard.
30:06Why aren't we doing something cool, like collecting multicolored shard keys?
30:09That would be totally different and awesome!
30:13Cowabunga!
30:14Well, let's get to it, video game.
30:16Let's go give this creator a piece of our minds.
30:20And save Springfield!
30:23What a pretty level.
30:25I like the theme of fantasy.
30:27Oh, I've got a fantasy.
30:29Now that we're finally away from those kids, we can, you know, you and I can get together all afternoon.
30:35You're so bad!
30:37You're going to ruin this game's tea for teen raiding.
30:43Um...
30:43Help! Help!
30:45Someone save us!
30:47My ears are pointing!
30:59Come on, Homer. We've got to save those midgets.
31:02But, Marge, I can't control myself.
31:04You're one sexy milf.
31:06The word is elf, and no snuggling till we do the right thing.
31:10Oh, lousy, sexy Marge.
31:17Thanks for saving us, ugly grown-ups.
31:20Is there anything we can do to repay you?
31:22You could tell us where to find the key card.
31:25Or you could give us five minutes of privacy. Two would be enough.
31:28The object you seek is through this door, but it is sealed by magic.
31:36No, it wasn't.
31:37Actually, we never tried it.
31:43I finally killed your sisters.
31:46I'm the happiest magic guy in pretend land.
31:49Well, at least we quit smoking.
31:53As much as I'm against murdering family members, it was nice to have a level away from the kids.
32:05My precious!
32:07Turn up, youngsters.
32:08We have received intelligence that the Krauts are due to invade the beloved French township of Ville de Saint-Capitulons.
32:14I don't need to tell you that this town provides the snails that feed the entire French resistance.
32:19If Saint-Capitulons falls, the resistance will be so hungry for snails, they'll turn around and fight for the bad
32:25guys.
32:25Oh, I've seen it happen before.
32:27You will parachute out of a UB-40 Redwine flying fortress over Saint-Capitulons,
32:32where you'll have to locate me and Private First Class Burns for further instructions.
32:36Now, good luck.
32:37You boys are my favorite privates, and you know how much I love my privates.
32:42My privates mean everything to me.
32:44Please, God, don't let anything happen to my privates!
32:52Take that, Frenchies!
32:57We are, how you say, finished!
33:00Monsieur, may I have another one?
33:02Ah!
33:03Oh, look at me!
33:04I'm French!
33:05I'm a scared girl!
33:06I don't like being bombed and attacked!
33:11Hey, knock it off!
33:12We're here to protect these cheese-eating surrender monkeys!
33:15That means taking down these white flags before they have a chance to kiss German butt!
33:19Yes, Sergeant Simpson.
33:21You know, Sarge, while your time-traveling son and grandson take down the flags,
33:25we could remove the priceless paintings from the village before the Germans get here,
33:29you know, for safekeeping.
33:31You look and sound so evil!
33:33But since you're American, I know that's not possible.
33:36We'll get the paintings!
33:37You two take care of the flags!
33:38What war is this?
33:40Don't they teach you anything in school?
33:41It's the Civil War, duh!
33:43Huh?
33:44Hot damn if you didn't stop those surrender monkeys from surrendering!
33:47I was sure you were both gonna be shipped home in pine boxes!
33:51I was already making up nice things to say about you!
33:54But now you're off to Africa!
33:56Private Burns has secured some priceless French paintings of high-class naked bazooms!
34:01We're taking the paintings to a secure storage depot outside Jabba El Hut, Algeria!
34:05I'll be riding shotgun with Burns personally on this one!
34:09I suspect we'll need the help as the canyons near Jabba are heavily fortified by the enemy!
34:14I know what you're thinking!
34:15This sounds like an escort mission!
34:17Well, deal with it!
34:20Listen up, my beloved privates!
34:22We had a traitor in our midst!
34:24Private Burns has nicked all the French paintings with all those luscious naked sweater melons!
34:28So listen up!
34:30Burns has moved the paintings to his own private aircraft carrier, the USS Real Crazy!
34:35He has the damn thing heavily guarded by his own private cadre of muscular sailors!
34:40These men fight for neither God nor country!
34:42They fight for love!
34:43I'll be leading a sortie of Hellfish warplanes, and we'll be providing heat from the air!
34:48You'll need to stow yourselves aboard the ship at dock!
34:51Once out to sea, disable the ship's defenses while we attack from above!
34:55Homer, you'll be on demolition duty, and you'll have just enough C4 explosives to complete your objectives!
35:01Ah, who am I kidding?
35:02You're never gonna run out of explosives!
35:04If you ran out, you'd never finish the damn thing!
35:07Any more questions?
35:08I don't care!
35:09Over and out!
35:20Missed me!
35:20Now you have to kiss me!
35:26Eat deck, you treacherous double-crossing Nancy boy!
35:44You're mustache tickles!
35:47As mayor of this village, I would like to thank you brave American soldiers!
35:51You hid our cowardice, and brought back the pride of our village!
35:55Our paintings!
36:02Dad, can I have some wine?
36:04The other kids are doing it!
36:06Sorry boy, you're an American kid!
36:08You have to get your booze from an older creep hanging around outside the liquor store!
36:12God bless America!
36:24Okay, I'm in the stupid Japanese game, but I'm not eating sushi!
36:28Unless it's covered with chocolate and there's no sushi in it!
36:36The End
36:37Greetings, naughty naughty earth livers!
36:39Welcome to the realm of Mr. Dirt!
36:42Isn't it splendid?
36:44Knock it off, Milhouse!
36:45We know it's you!
36:46Uh, sorry, but I'm the king around here, guys!
36:50And you're gonna have to deal with it!
36:53Unless you wanna be my queen, Lisa!
36:56Uh, thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Dirt!
36:59But I'm so huge!
37:02And I'm the main bad guy in my own video game!
37:05Isn't anything good enough for you?
37:07Hey, the girl said she's not interested!
37:09Beat it, loser!
37:16A thousand thanks, Fat One and Ritter Nerd!
37:20Your quest is to defeat the evil Mr. Dirt, Scourge of the Daylands, and CEO of the most evil Rin
37:29Sha Corporation!
37:30He seeks to rid forest and field of Gion energy!
37:34Hmm...
37:35And how would you describe this evil CEO's attitude toward the old ways and the traditions of your ancestors?
37:42Most disrespectful!
37:47Pff...
37:48Real original!
37:49To defeat Mr. Dirt, you must travel to Colos of our land, and win back Sparklemon!
37:56Mr. Sparkle will join you with gate-opening power, and Sparklemon-capturing ball!
38:02fonk syphil-capturing ball, and Baz olabilir as honorary sparkles...position
38:12-capturing ball, and Gion Exc!f
38:19-loak, and he protected a strange rebel plot! You
38:19must out for a while and the wingman-capturing ball! State,
38:20me and Spoilerドン-capturing ball, and方面-capturing ball! Play slave
38:20-capturing ball!ressedaded-capturing
38:26ball! But youən Sca Mari родign
38:26fatal move! Nintendo-capturing! hissing it
38:27has Tisu-capturing
38:32Lava Sparklemon Yummy Taste Number One American Flavor
38:40Don't get too cocky, Warriors.
38:43You may have defeated one Sparklemon, but you will never defeat another.
38:47I mean, maybe you will, but it'll probably take a couple times.
38:54Wonderful magical animal!
39:12Daddy, this stranger is just my Sparkleman!
39:15Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
39:19Yeah!
39:21Two treats in one day make fun that is double!
39:25Fun fun for Sparkle Sparkle!
39:31Don't get cocky, Warriors.
39:33You may have defeated one Sparklemon, but...
39:36Oh, wait. That was the second one?
39:38Oh, man.
39:39Well, fine. That's it, though. For real!
39:46I summon wonderful magical animals!
40:05Carrie let you win! She totally has a crush on you!
40:08Oh, my God! Will you shut up? I'm serious!
40:13Yeah!
40:14Head without body, eat all day! Never up throw!
40:23Oh, man! You beat the third one, too?
40:26Fine! Whatever! I'm gonna go cry in the Temple of the Two Moons!
40:30So don't follow me! I mean it!
40:36Quick, Dad! You need to insert the Sparklemon into the coin slots!
40:40Lisa, don't tell me how to use a toilet! Would you tell Chuck Yeager how to fly a jet?
40:57Mr. Sparklemon has risen from his banishment in the underworld!
41:02Now I must return to my corporation, where I am mascot for celery-flavored soy chip!
41:09Celsoy kills the hunger demon, but graciously adopts his children.
41:13Celsoy! Celsoy!
41:14But first, I will cleanse the world of Mr. Dirt!
41:18Closed Wonder Woman.
41:29I guess I should give you this key card now.
41:32Ew! No way! I thought you were picking your nose with it!
41:35Dad! We need the key to save everyone we know! Just take it!
41:42Dad?
41:43Hey! Come on, guys! Take it easy!
41:45Look at this place. Graffitos, bottle and bags, and way more pimps than I'm comfortable with.
41:54I just don't understand why Bart would want to play this game.
42:04What is it with cats and mice? Can't they ever get along?
42:08Lisa, you and I are going to clean up this video game once and for all.
42:12Do you think it would still be fun if you can't stomp cat prostitutes and take their money?
42:16Of course. What's more fun than playing nice?
42:20Nothing makes me feel as good as cleaning up raunch.
42:23Now anyone can enjoy this game, not just gamers.
42:28Uh, Mom, I don't think we've finished yet.
42:33Chicken!
42:34T to the double O, chip I eat, I'm the dog who's to the extreme.
42:38What's up, my gangsters, pimps and hoes?
42:40My hood is clean and now it's close.
42:43A baby girl skank and a blue-haired hoochie.
42:45Pop a cat in the asses.
42:47Don't say poochie.
42:48I don't think we're fresh.
42:49No.
42:52Sorry, poochie, but even you aren't extreme enough to resist the power of a stay-at-home mom
42:58with too much time on her hands.
43:00Yeah!
43:01Word to your mother.
43:02We did it!
43:03We cleaned up the game and therefore made it more fun.
43:07This is gonna be the least violent third-person shooter ever.
43:12Great work, ladies.
43:14We finally made this video game safe for children.
43:18I proclaim an end to video game violence.
43:23Uh-oh.
43:24Oh, boy.
43:36Did you get the key cards?
43:38And how many points did you get?
43:39Video games don't have points anymore.
43:41No points?
43:42How do you know you're doing good in the game?
43:44Well, you make progress through the objectives of the game.
43:47Like here.
43:48We collected the four key cards.
43:50Four points?
43:51That's a pretty sucky score.
43:53I got eight million on a centipede machine and a pizza hut once.
43:57But four?
43:58Pathetic.
43:59Look, how many lives did it take you to get these cards?
44:02Lives?
44:03What do you mean?
44:04I mean, I died a lot.
44:05And I mean a lot.
44:06But it's not like I have limited number of lives.
44:08Infinite lives?
44:09Then how is a game even hard?
44:11What's the point if you can just play forever?
44:13The world I grew up in is gone.
44:15Look, cyber chums.
44:17We need to use the keys to get into that mansion and talk to this creator wacko.
44:21Our town is being blown up as we speak.
44:24So let's do this thing.
44:39Hey, Borg.
44:40In these video games, levels get easier as you go along, right?
44:44Right?
44:45That's right, Dad.
44:46They sure do.
44:47Let's go.
44:48Go get them, guys.
44:49Get your initials at the top of that high score screen.
44:52Yeah.
44:54Bad chance.
44:55Four points.
44:55Sheesh.
44:58This is it.
44:59The home of our creator.
45:00I say we smash his face, bust his stuff, and take a leak on his lawn.
45:04Way ahead of you, boy.
45:21So they won a war.
45:23Well, then it's a war they'll get.
45:26Violet, engage the super-tuned defense systems.
45:29Yes, Mr. Groening.
45:31It's graining.
45:32Are you sure?
45:33No.
45:39I bet your creator is like a thousand-foot Godzilla with big boobs and he breathes fire snot.
45:45Think again.
45:46Your creator is TV's most beloved animation visionary.
45:49That McFarlane?
45:51Ah!
45:52Say hello to my little friend.
45:55Aw, snap!
45:57Dude, that's the
45:58Mark.
46:09Bart.
46:10Dad.
46:11You just vanquished your own creator.
46:13The philosophical implications would make Eugene Ionesco's head spin.
46:18Hmm, you make a provocative point, Lisa.
46:21And furthermore, kick him!
46:26Stop kicking the man who doodled you!
46:28It isn't nice!
46:29Yes, ma'am.
46:31Thank you for saving me, ma'am.
46:32I'm enduring grateful.
46:33Mr. Groening, how could you have betrayed us?
46:36The fruits of your creative loins
46:38and sold us out to all these awful video games
46:41where we endlessly die and lose health
46:44and jump and jump and jump!
46:46I swear I didn't know they'd be awful, Lisa.
46:49If I'd known, I only would have slapped your faces on mugs,
46:52t-shirts, candy, lunchboxes, board games, gum,
46:55novelty flying discs, and fluffy, fluffy beach towels.
47:02Now, if you'll excuse me...
47:05Video game engine self-destruct button!
47:08So long, suckers!
47:21The dirt has prevailed!
47:24I have dishonored my ancestor.
47:30The Springfield portal is the only one that's holding.
47:32Come on, everyone.
47:33Back to Springfield!
47:41Hang on.
47:42I'll be right back.
47:44But I love a Sauron, will you?
47:47Ah!
47:49Crap!
47:51Oh, well, I'm glad that's over.
47:53What's for dinner, Marge?
47:54I hope it's a spaghetti!
47:56Here we go!
47:59Uh, Homer, we're still under attack.
48:02I guess all that's left to do is pray that God saves us.
48:06That's it, Mom!
48:08We have to talk to God!
48:11Lisa, what are you doing?
48:12It's not safe out there!
48:14I'm gonna use my Buddha hand powers
48:16to build a tower to heaven out of Springfield buildings.
48:18Then we can get to the only authority
48:20who outranks Matt Groening, God.
48:23Lisa, everyone knows God only helps the mighty.
48:50Come on, everyone.
48:52I've built a stairway to heaven.
48:54Awesome!
48:55Ooh, I hope your stores aren't all closed.
49:08Who's there?
49:10Stand and unfold yourself.
49:11Hey, what's the big idea?
49:13Let us through!
49:14Uh, Dad, I think that's Shakespeare.
49:17You know, the Bard of Avon?
49:19Ooh, I love Avon.
49:22I pray thee cease thy counsel,
49:25which falls into mine ears
49:26as profitless as water in a sieve.
49:29Enough of the John Grisham fancy talk, mustachio.
49:32Meet Yorick, a fellow of infinite death!
49:49Wow, Benjamin Franklin!
49:51You are my intellectual hero.
49:54Please, please, let us pass so we can talk to God.
49:57No way, Lisa.
49:58You're a bigger butt-kisser than Thomas Jefferson.
50:01Up here, I'm judge, jury, and executioner.
50:03It's time you all learned that heaven can be a hell of a place!
50:14God's not setting a very good example.
50:16No wonder you never hear about God having a girlfriend.
50:20Is someone there?
50:21I don't have any money.
50:23God, it's the Simpsons here.
50:24You've been playing with our lives,
50:26and we'd like you to stop.
50:28Our town, family, and friends are all suffering.
50:31Yeah, God, you used to be cool.
50:33Just because I'm a gamer doesn't mean I'm not cool.
50:37Your uneasy looks have brought my disfavor.
50:41You bunch of jerks!
50:44All right, loser.
50:46You stop the destruction of our town and give us some answers,
50:49or these save games go in the drink.
50:51No, my save game! Stop!
50:53I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion!
50:55I can't start again from the beginning!
50:57Okay, I'll do whatever you want.
51:01I thought so.
51:03Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
51:06All right, uh, God, is it?
51:10It's time for some answers.
51:11Who are we?
51:13Here's the bad news.
51:14You're video game characters.
51:17You were designed by computer geeks in cubicles
51:19to run around and be controlled by other computer geeks in their bedrooms.
51:24We knew that, Birkenstocks.
51:26Yeah, explain to us the meaning of life.
51:29Okay, those computer geeks who control you, thing is, they're part of a video game, too.
51:35You see, the planet Earth is my most immersive, detailed video game yet,
51:39and I play it 24 hours a day.
51:41It's great.
51:42You can get out of your car, have a family.
51:44I even put in a complete and wholly consistent fossil record for the nerds.
51:48So, the Simpsons game, your game, is really nothing but a mini game inside my Earth game.
51:56If you think about it.
51:57So, not only are we not real, we're characters inside a mini game inside another game.
52:03And the people playing us right now are the characters inside the big game that you're playing.
52:09Well, you're not inside just any game.
52:12The planet Earth got a score of 96 on Meta Metacritic.
52:16But why did you let me find the instruction book back in Springfield?
52:19Doesn't that mess up your whole system?
52:21Oh, totally.
52:22That was like a complete accident.
52:23Here I am.
52:26Rock you like a hurricane.
52:31Oh, how do you throw my camera in this thing?
52:34Is it the L and R button or what?
52:35Ah, screw this, I'm getting a beer.
52:41Oh, f***.
52:48The Simpsons game?
52:50So, yeah.
52:52You see?
52:54Oops.
52:55Oops!
52:55Ain't gonna cut it, Mr. Glowing Visage, beautiful beyond all description.
52:59You gotta make this right.
53:01Relax, relax.
53:02God, I feel really, really super bad about all of this.
53:05And I seriously want to finish Oblivion so I can get started on something else.
53:09So, what do you want?
53:11Put Springfield back the way it was.
53:15And let us keep our awesome powers.
53:17Improve the working conditions of all video game characters.
53:21Grant me three wishes.
53:22Fine, fine, I'll do all that stuff.
53:24Even make games less dangerous for the characters.
53:27I guess games have been getting too violent.
53:30God, there is one thing.
53:33Do you ever wonder if you're a character in a video game?
53:38That's...
53:39That's just dumb.
53:40I mean...
53:42Stop being dumb.
53:43Whoa!
53:51Daddy?
53:53Someone's looking at me!
54:07Don't ever wonder if we're a character in a video game.
54:07There is a character now that I'm thinking...
54:07You're the character in a video game.
54:07I hope you just got to keepivid Mattie and a master.
54:07Oh, it's time to end.
54:08I hope you're wrong.
54:08Baby hungry?
54:09I mean, I'll be fun.
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