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the last leg s33e10 skyfire
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00:03What are we doing with your heart?
00:05Thank you for letting us be ourselves.
00:07So don't mind me if I repeat myself.
00:09These simple lines be good for your health.
00:12And keep them prime rhymes on the show.
00:14Live my life like you just don't care.
00:16Five miles of leaders never scared.
00:19Breaking noise is the moment they fear.
00:21Get up, still a beautiful idea.
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air.
00:26Get up, and shit in the air.
00:28Get up, get up.
00:38Make some room in the stable.
00:39Kick the donkey off the couch and get ready to watch three unwise men.
00:43It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for the last leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, we ask what's up with the US president.
00:51Get our heads around Christmas.
00:53And get across some sporting heroes.
00:56Plus, we'll be joined by comedians Fatia El-Ghori
00:59and Roisin Conaty
01:00on the show that sometimes doubles down on the news.
01:14G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
01:16Hello.
01:18Welcome to The Last Leg,
01:20the show that's currently rethinking some of the children's books
01:22at Port for Christmas.
01:24With me, as always, with the pride of Dartmoor,
01:26Josh Whittacombe,
01:26and the man who thought a doctor's strike was what you get
01:28when your GP holds their Christmas party at a bowling alley,
01:31Alex Brooker.
01:38Now, if you missed the show last week, so did I.
01:43OK, I was hosting Stand Up To Cancer.
01:46Josh and Alex were in charge of the show.
01:48And there was a plan for me to make it here
01:50from Stand Up To Cancer for the very end of the show.
01:53Yes, that was your plan.
01:54Apparently so, yeah.
01:56Somewhere during the plan, it became apparent
01:57the only way I was going to make it to the studio
01:59was on the back of a motorbike.
02:01Yep.
02:01I can't tell you how many things went wrong.
02:04There were roadworks.
02:05We hit every red light from Stratford to here.
02:08This is why I left Devon.
02:10For Devon.
02:11I fucked that up already.
02:14This is why I came back to host the show.
02:18At one point, we were stuck, and I'm not making this up,
02:2120 cyclists.
02:2220?
02:23In the road in Hackney.
02:24Fuck's sake, I employed 25, so five of them had done one there.
02:28At one point, the guy saw it was on the back of a motorbike.
02:31At one point, the guy in the front of the motorbike said,
02:33because you have little headphones so you can talk to each other,
02:35he said, hold on, I'm going to try something.
02:38Now, the two places you never want to hear that
02:40are on a bike and in bed.
02:43Either way, my arsehole clenched.
02:48And in both cases, what we did was borderline illegal
02:51and involved me wrapping my arms around someone I'd just met.
02:54And I'd like to apologise to any bystanders.
02:56It was so...
02:58I was so close to making it to...
02:59Oh, I thought you were going to say,
03:01I was so close on the back of that bike.
03:05We were close too.
03:06Once I got changed, I tried to get to the studio again.
03:09I was so close to making it to air.
03:11We had our social media guy, Jordan,
03:13filming on a phone when I arrived,
03:15in case we could use it for this week's show.
03:16So I'm going to show you his footage
03:17alongside what was genuinely going on air
03:21in the studio at the same time
03:22to show you just how close I came to making it.
03:25We've just heard Hilsie isn't going to make it back,
03:29but we've got one more surprise hands.
03:32AJ and John,
03:33can you take the hands mascot costume
03:35off to reveal our final winner behind you?
03:39There we go.
03:40It's Matt's specialist.
03:48I can't stand up to cancer.
03:52Our name's Josh Winnikam.
03:54I'm Alex Buster.
03:55We'll see you next week for the next league.
03:57I can be your hands, baby.
04:04I can hands away the pain.
04:08Oh, yeah.
04:11I will head by you forever.
04:16You can take my hands away.
04:22This is it.
04:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:47That, well, can I...
04:50Can I just say, you were running like your arse I would clench.
04:54LAUGHTER
04:54I was going cos I thought my pizza had turned up.
04:59You had the look on your face of someone
05:01who knows he's just missed out on his appearance fee.
05:04LAUGHTER
05:05We are live on your telly right now,
05:07so you can send us any questions you want about the news.
05:09Message us on Instagram, the hashtags, is it OK?
05:11WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908,
05:15or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
05:17For example, is it OK that Alex got a DM from his hero last week?
05:22Yes, I did.
05:23DM you, yes.
05:25Go on, Brooks, what happened?
05:26Well, so, it was big news for me this week.
05:28So, I did...
05:30Thierry Henry got a lifetime achievement award
05:32at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Awards,
05:35and I did a video with my...
05:36And he played soccer for Arsenal, right?
05:38Yeah, football.
05:39He played football, he's...
05:40Yeah, he did.
05:42He, um...
05:43Yep.
05:43He was very good at it, mate.
05:44Yep, OK.
05:45And, uh...
05:46Yeah, so I did this video,
05:48and then, like, on Wednesday morning,
05:49he just started following me on Instagram,
05:52and I have never...
05:54Have a look at this.
05:55So, this is...
05:56Nine seconds after he followed me,
05:58I screenshotted that.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:00That is the fastest these little hands have ever moved.
06:03When you consider that you ejaculated
06:05and cleaned up between them.
06:06Aw!
06:07But I was so excited,
06:09and he was very lovely.
06:10He sent me a message to say thank you...
06:14He sent me a DM to say thank you for the message.
06:16Yeah.
06:16And I was losing my shit.
06:17And then I worried about, you know,
06:19what do I...
06:20What do I want...
06:21Like, what do I reply back?
06:22Cos I don't want to...
06:22I don't want to seem too thirsty,
06:24but at the same time...
06:25You just recorded a video about how much you loved him.
06:27Well, yeah,
06:28and I just wanted to reiterate what I'd said in the video.
06:30But, yeah, I, um...
06:32I sent him a message back,
06:34and I was like,
06:34ah, he's not going to reply.
06:35But then...
06:36And then, Thierry Henry responded to Alex's message
06:39while we were having a last leg meeting.
06:42And can I say,
06:42normally, if I've got my phone out during the meeting,
06:45he gets yump.
06:48How do you know?
06:49How can you tell?
06:50The Aussie eyes, mate.
06:52We recorded Alex's reaction to getting this response
06:55from Thierry Henry.
06:57Oh, my God, he's typing.
06:59Oh!
07:00I feel sick.
07:01Oh!
07:02Hopefully I can see you soon.
07:04Oh!
07:10Oh!
07:12Oh!
07:14What's that?
07:15That is...
07:17That is...
07:18Just saying,
07:21that's my version of the Kevin McAllister ad,
07:25but I can't reach my right, so I'll do the half McAllister.
07:30Yeah, it was awesome.
07:32I can't wait till it's revealed that Thierry Omri's
07:34had his Instagram account hacked.
07:38Alex just got another message saying,
07:40I've got some problems with my bank,
07:42can you transfer me £10,000, please?
07:44How many people follow you that have a statue of themselves?
07:48Well, I am followed by Horatio Nelson, by the way.
07:51So have you replied to him saying,
07:52hopefully I can see you soon? Because like...
07:54No, because I don't want to see him too.
07:56I know, what are you right? Like, I don't know, February 14th?
07:59LAUGHTER
08:00Do you have plans for Christmas?
08:02I wouldn't put it past you, do you write just Zootropolis 2?
08:06LAUGHTER
08:06I think the worst response to,
08:08hopefully we'll see each other soon, would be,
08:10I'm outside your house.
08:12LAUGHTER
08:12Well, the good thing is, I found a motorbike rider
08:15who actually gets you there quite quickly.
08:17LAUGHTER
08:18I'll say he does.
08:20We were so...
08:22We loved that little clip of Alex and his little excited face,
08:24so we've turned it into this week's Hottest Meme.
08:28Hopefully I can see you soon.
08:30I said, ooooh, ooooh, ooooh,
08:34baby, turn the lights on.
08:36LAUGHTER
08:37Now, the big story this week,
08:39Donald Trump is suing the BBC for $10 billion.
08:43LAUGHTER
08:43Now, you might remember that's because the BBC made an edit
08:46on an episode of Panorama that is perfectly demonstrated
08:48in this clear before-and-after clip.
08:52We're going to walk down to the Capitol,
08:55and I'll be there with you,
08:57and we fight.
08:59We fight like hell.
09:00And if you don't fight like hell,
09:02you're not going to have a country anymore.
09:04We're going to walk down to the Capitol...
09:07LAUGHTER
09:09..and we're going to cheer on
09:11..our brave senators and congressmen and women.
09:16LAUGHTER
09:20And we fight.
09:21We fight like hell.
09:23And if you don't fight like hell,
09:24you're not going to have a country anymore.
09:26So, basically, a simple edit.
09:28Yeah, it was probably a dumb thing to do.
09:30But according to Donald Trump,
09:31the BBC went about five steps further,
09:33as he revealed in this accusing clip.
09:36In a little while, you'll be seeing,
09:38I'm suing the BBC for putting words in my mouth, literally,
09:40and they put words in my mouth.
09:42They had me saying things that I never said coming out.
09:45I guess they used AI or something.
09:48LAUGHTER
09:48Well, just think, just think, if we'd had AI,
09:52we could have made you arrive on time, Hellsman.
09:55LAUGHTER
09:55But I didn't literally put words in his mouth.
09:59I would have loved to have seen him literally put words in his mouth.
10:01I would have loved to have seen Nagamanchetti
10:04shove Scrabble letters in his gob...
10:06LAUGHTER ..like he's stuck in a turkey.
10:08LAUGHTER
10:09And, look, yes, it was a bad edit,
10:10but as far as using AI, that is an absolute pile of...
10:14If you're getting down, baby, I'm on it now, baby...
10:18Ah. Oh.
10:19What happened to my buttons?
10:21What's that?
10:21What happened to my buttons?
10:23That's what my kids are going to be saying
10:24when they see their selection boxes next week.
10:26LAUGHTER
10:27Yeah, so we may have... Yeah, we might have.
10:29..we may have made a few changes to the buttons.
10:32We weren't here, so we made the buttons more...
10:33..we kind of made things more...
10:35So, what did you do? Did you just use 90s tunes?
10:39Right. Well, yeah.
10:43You'd have got that!
10:45Nothing without my buttons.
10:46In fact, I kind of feel like I'm...
10:49..lying with our way.
10:52LAUGHTER
10:54Look, what I'm trying to say is they were set a certain way,
10:57I liked it the way they were set,
10:58and now that I'm back behind the desk...
11:00I want it that way.
11:04LAUGHTER
11:05Actually starting to like them.
11:06LAUGHTER
11:07They're staying for next series, let's be honest.
11:10Back to Donald Trump, why do...
11:12What do we think of him suing the BBC for $10 billion?
11:14Well, I mean, I'm looking forward to Panorama doing a Panorama
11:18and him suing them over Panorama.
11:21LAUGHTER
11:21I'm worried about the hike and the licence fee.
11:25LAUGHTER
11:25When we get the licence fee through and it's $1 million each.
11:29LAUGHTER
11:29I think the BBC... I don't think he's...
11:31Well, he's not going to win. No.
11:33I think the BBC have got a great defence
11:34and that their big form of evidence that they didn't make him
11:38seem like a bad guy will be to show anything that he's ever said, ever.
11:44LAUGHTER
11:44And, look, this is all part of Trump's pattern.
11:47One, sue a media company for a ridiculous amount of money.
11:50Two, force them to either spend loads of money defending it.
11:53Or, three, wait till they offer up a settlement.
11:56Four, take the settlement, then know that they and every other media company
11:59is now too scared to say anything negative about you
12:01in case you sue them again.
12:03This sets a dangerous precedent,
12:05because news outlets are supposed to keep governments to account,
12:08and they can't do that if they're scared of being sued by that government.
12:11That's the journalistic equivalent of...
12:13Lying with our wigs.
12:18Can I tell you the mad thing is,
12:20those buttons have been used more this week than what I did last week.
12:23LAUGHTER
12:23So how should the BBC deal with it?
12:25Oh, easy.
12:27Edit together, Donald Trump's speeches,
12:29so it looks like he's saying, I'm no longer suing the BBC.
12:32LAUGHTER
12:33I think, cos he's so, you know, he's so childish.
12:36Yeah.
12:36I think they should kind of, they should lure him in, cos he's going to be...
12:39They'll go, all right, and you win, you get ten billion,
12:43but if we win, we get Disney and the White House.
12:47LAUGHTER
12:47Richard Osman's White House of Games is a great show.
12:51LAUGHTER
12:52Well, Trump's claiming he's been defamed by the BBC,
12:54but you're right, there are a few things
12:55that are going to make it tough for him to win.
12:57One, the court case is being tried in Florida,
12:59but the programme didn't go to air in Florida,
13:02or anywhere in America,
13:03which means Trump has to prove that people watched it illegally on a VPN,
13:07and that it caused damage to his reputation.
13:10So right now, in Florida, there's a lot of guys trying to convince their wives
13:13they've been using their VPN to watch Panorama.
13:15LAUGHTER
13:17Slamming your laptop. It was an antiques roadshow!
13:20But no-one's watching it in Florida.
13:22It's literally called the Sunshine State.
13:25No-one is staying indoors to watch Panorama, like Will Smith, Miami.
13:28It wasn't playing in a city when the heat is on,
13:31or lying on the beach to the Brickadon,
13:32or downloading a VPN and watching Panorama.
13:35LAUGHTER
13:37Do you know Will Smith?
13:39LAUGHTER
13:43Don't pretend that you're not loving those buttons now, Hillsy.
13:46You feel like a DJ.
13:47The BBC has vowed to defend itself,
13:49which is funny when you consider they couldn't even stop Channel 4
13:51from taking Bake Off.
13:52If the BBC...
13:54LAUGHTER
13:55If the BBC win, though...
13:56You company man!
13:58You miss one episode, you start praising the bosses.
14:02If the BBC win, surely we get to take possession of some American assets.
14:06Maybe change Mount Rushmore to, I don't know,
14:08Joe Marla, Alan Carr, Nick Muhammad and Celia Imri.
14:11LAUGHTER
14:12I think...
14:13I think we should ask for Ghostbusters Firehouse.
14:15Yep. Yep.
14:16And then that thing from Ghostbusters 2, the big...
14:19the Statue of Liberty.
14:22And...
14:22LAUGHTER
14:22Yeah, that's the one.
14:24LAUGHTER
14:25You know that prop they had in Ghostbusters 2?
14:28Yeah, yeah.
14:28LAUGHTER
14:29Yeah, that's the only thing it's known for.
14:31LAUGHTER
14:33Expensive old prop, that, wasn't it?
14:35You know that prop was so heavy they've had to leave it there.
14:38LAUGHTER
14:39If Trump wins, then, does he take possession of the BBC
14:41and its assets?
14:43Because the last thing the world needs is Donald Trump
14:44in charge of an army of Daleks.
14:46Well, I tell you what, Greg Wallace will be back in the BBC
14:48before you know it.
14:50LAUGHTER
14:52I...
14:52I think the BBC have got a way out, though,
14:55cos even if he does win, and he's using them,
14:57he can do what, like...
14:58They can do what all businesses do...
15:00Yeah.
15:00..when they can't pay it back.
15:01They basically declare themselves bankrupt,
15:03and then they start again under a different name.
15:05Yeah.
15:05Call themselves British Broadcasting Limited.
15:08Yeah.
15:08The BBL.
15:09And I know what you're thinking.
15:11Ah, that acronym, that's already taken
15:13by the cosmetic surgery Brazilian bum lift.
15:15Yeah.
15:16But no, cos I think it could work...
15:17I wasn't thinking that, to be honest, no.
15:19LAUGHTER
15:19Well, I think it could work for an ident.
15:21Have a look at this.
15:28LAUGHTER
15:31Amazing, amazing.
15:38To be fair, Brooker, you look good in that idea.
15:42Look, it is a massive week for the US President.
15:45He refused to rule out a war with Venezuela,
15:47he's created something called the Patriot Games,
15:50and he was shocked when the board he chose
15:52to run the Kennedy Centre changed its name
15:54to the Trump Kennedy Centre.
15:57How was he surprised by that?
15:59Even John F. Kennedy saw that one coming.
16:02LAUGHTER
16:03Trump then posted about the tragic death
16:05of director Rob Reiner in a way that ironically
16:07turned the distastefulness up to 11.
16:09Meanwhile, the Epstein files are currently being released
16:12on the same day that YouTuber Jake Paul goes head-to-head
16:15with professional boxer Anthony Joshua.
16:17So it's a good night if you want to see rich, entitled men
16:20suddenly having their careers ended.
16:22LAUGHTER
16:23Can I just thank you for not making a joke
16:24about the England cricket team there?
16:26Thank you very much.
16:27Oh, how would that have fitted in?
16:28Well, because they're rich, entitled men
16:30are about to have their careers ended tonight.
16:31Oh, OK.
16:32Haven't been lying to cricket, how's it going?
16:34LAUGHTER
16:35About as well as the show went last week without you,
16:38thank you very much.
16:40Now, I'm not saying Donald Trump is trying to distract
16:42from the Epstein files, but this week he made some changes
16:44to the Presidential Walk of Fame in the White House
16:46that now looks like this.
16:48You... You know, like, when a restaurant has...
16:51It has photos of all the famous people.
16:54Yeah.
16:55I think further down there's a photo of Darren Day
16:57with his arm round the chef just saying,
16:59best tapas in Soho, Darren Day.
17:01LAUGHTER
17:02Now, you might remember a few months ago,
17:04Donald Trump replaced the photo of Joe Biden
17:06with this picture of an auto pen.
17:08This week he added plaques under each president's photo
17:11with his own opinion of their presidency.
17:14This is in the West Wing.
17:16For example, the plaque under Biden's photo now says,
17:19and this is a direct quote,
17:20Sleepy Joe Biden was by far the worst president
17:22in American history.
17:24Taking office as a result of the most corrupt election
17:26ever seen in the United States,
17:28Biden oversaw a series of unprecedented disasters
17:30that brought our nation to the brink of destruction.
17:34Trump's press secretary, Caroline Levitt, said the descriptions
17:36were mainly written directly by the president,
17:38to which the rest of the world said,
17:39No shit, Kaz.
17:41LAUGHTER
17:43I love the fact that, so, under Trump's own one...
17:46Yeah.
17:47..it's so long what he describes himself as.
17:49It's like one of his tweets,
17:50and at the bottom it kind of says,
17:51plaque one of two.
17:53LAUGHTER
17:54Apparently when Trump was challenged
17:55over the wording on the plaques, he said...
17:57I want it that way...
18:01You're getting into him, eh?
18:02Yeah.
18:03Andy said,
18:04Is it OK that the Trump administration says
18:06sign language services intrude on Trump's ability
18:09to control his image,
18:10and that raising this will get me banned from the USA?
18:12Yeah, so, disability groups were up in arms this week.
18:15Sorry, I'll rephrase that.
18:18LAUGHTER
18:20Disability groups were hopping mad...
18:22No, no, that's not gonna...
18:23Ramping up their...
18:24No, no, absolutely furious.
18:26As the White House said,
18:28they would not be providing sign interpreters
18:30at Trump's press conferences
18:31because it would, quote,
18:33severely intrude on the President's prerogative
18:35to control the image he presents to the public.
18:38Now, I know one thing.
18:40I know this.
18:40It is very hard to sign interpret for Donald Trump.
18:43I know a lot of sign interpreters.
18:44I work with them a lot doing stand-up.
18:46Because Trump goes off on so many different tangents.
18:48He starts here, he goes over here, he goes over here,
18:50never finishes a thought.
18:51So, as a sign interpreter, you're like,
18:53I don't know what sentence to sign right now.
18:56But also, that funny little dance he does,
18:57that could be interpreted as...
18:59Oh, yeah, that one.
19:00Yeah, that's...
19:01That's something different, I think.
19:02Yeah, that's...
19:02I'm wanking off TK.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:05That is the emoji,
19:06Alex and Thierry Henry,
19:07but they got him blocked.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:11Now, the other thing about Trump is
19:12he implies a lot when he speaks.
19:14He says stuff and the meaning's slightly hidden.
19:17But as a sign interpreter,
19:18you have to kind of get that meaning across.
19:20So, it's really, really tricky anyway.
19:22And look, this week,
19:23Trump gave an address from the White House
19:24that was so shouty,
19:26it looked like he'd forgotten
19:27to turn his hearing aid on.
19:28Here's the annoying clip
19:29in which he puts the tan into tangent.
19:33In the end, government either serves
19:36the productive, patriotic,
19:38hard-working American citizen
19:39or it serves those who break the laws,
19:42cheat the system and seek power and profit
19:45at the expense of our nation.
19:49What in the living fuck are you talking about,
19:51you apricot arsehole?
19:54And stop shouting.
19:55You're on a microphone.
19:57Do you know what I mean?
19:57You had a case of apricot arsehole
19:59off my phone, didn't you?
20:00You're not talking to thousands of people
20:02in a stadium.
20:02You're on the telly.
20:04You're only talking to two or three people
20:05at home on the couch.
20:06You don't need to shout.
20:07Look, there's a reason I don't start this show
20:09by going,
20:10G'day, I'm Adam Hills!
20:12Welcome to The Last Leg!
20:14Although that felt good.
20:17I genuinely...
20:18That's how we started it last week.
20:20Oh, I noticed.
20:24To give you an idea of how hard it is
20:26to interpret for Donald Trump,
20:27we're going to show you that clip again
20:28and we're going to have it interpreted for you.
20:30We're also going to show you
20:31what the interpreter is actually saying
20:33to see whether or not it interferes with Trump's image.
20:37In the end, government either serves
20:40the productive, patriotic, hard-working American citizen
20:43or it serves those who break the laws, cheat the system
20:47and seek power and profit at the expense of our nation.
20:52Look at Minnesota where Somalians have taken over
20:55the economics of the state
20:57and have stolen billions and billions of dollars
21:00from Minnesota and indeed from the United States of America.
21:04We're going to put an end to it.
21:05For so long as, before my election,
21:09the vast majority of good and decent Americans
21:11were forced to...
21:20And can we please thank Gavin Lilly?
21:22Thank you, Gavin.
21:23Round of applause for Gavin.
21:28All right, let's welcome tonight's guests,
21:30a comedian who co-hosts Last One Laughing
21:32and another comedian who was the last one standing
21:34on the TV show The Wheel.
21:35Please welcome Roisin Conaty and Fatia El Ghori.
21:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:44Oh!
21:46Hello, lads.
21:48Good.
21:49Hi.
21:50Hello.
21:50Hello.
21:51Hi.
21:53Welcome to you both.
21:55Uh, either of you ever used a sign interpreter, Fatia?
21:58I...
21:58I've never used one, but I've been at a show where there's one.
22:01Yeah.
22:01So I just kept on going...
22:02Brrrrrr!
22:03And they had to go...
22:05LAUGHTER
22:06I just kept on saying it after...
22:08I didn't even do punchlines.
22:09I just went,
22:09Anyway, my name is...
22:10Brrrrrr!
22:13And what do you both make of Trump suing the BBC?
22:16Fatia?
22:17I think...
22:18Well, they fucked up, innit?
22:20Yeah.
22:21But he's a wanker, innit?
22:23But I've got an idea.
22:24I know how to make their money back.
22:25Yeah.
22:25If they just commission my sitcom...
22:30LAUGHTER
22:31It doesn't make the money, innit?
22:34OK, love it.
22:34Um, Roisin?
22:36LAUGHTER
22:37I think Trump respects hard men.
22:40That's the only way.
22:41So I think they shouldn't try...
22:42I think they should tell him to fuck off.
22:44LAUGHTER
22:45Oh, yeah.
22:46I think they should go absolutely ape on him
22:48and just tell him to fuck off.
22:50And then he'll be like, I love the BBC.
22:52Yeah, that's who he likes.
22:53See, that's who he wants to be friends with.
22:55So I think they should tell him to do one.
22:57Which BBC star should we get to do it?
23:00Um...
23:00Ross Kemp?
23:01No.
23:02Is he on BBC anymore?
23:03Oh, I don't know.
23:04Have you not...
23:04Have you not watched Bridge of Lies?
23:07LAUGHTER
23:10Um...
23:10One of the Strictly Lotta records.
23:12Ooh, nice.
23:13Yeah.
23:14Craig Revel Horwood!
23:15Oh, Craig Revel Horwood!
23:19Now, um...
23:20Earlier this week, I was asked to read a poem
23:22at a carols concert for motor neurone disease.
23:24Um, it was a lovely night.
23:25It was a really lovely night.
23:26And they sent me a really nice poem,
23:28a kind of funny poem,
23:28about the difference between Christmas in England
23:30and Christmas in Australia,
23:32for me to read at the concert.
23:34But...
23:34And it was all about, you know,
23:36Christmas on the beach and that kind of stuff.
23:37But in light of what happened at Bondi Beach last weekend,
23:40it felt a little weird to do that.
23:41So, I ended up rewriting the poem
23:43as a tribute to what happened in Sydney,
23:45which is where I grew up.
23:46It's my hometown.
23:47Um...
23:47And if it's OK with you,
23:48I thought I'd read that poem tonight.
23:50So, this is my little, um...
23:52Little Christmassy tribute-y poem.
23:57Christmas in Britain is charming and cold,
24:00with jumpers and jingles and carols of old.
24:02But I'm Aussie by nature, so let's just be clear.
24:05Barbecues count,
24:06so does icy cold beer.
24:08I've done Christmas down under,
24:09with sun cream and sand,
24:10and Christmas in Britain,
24:11with frostbite on hand.
24:13One has cicadas,
24:14the other has sleet,
24:15but both have bad telly and too much to eat.
24:18Sydney is sunny,
24:19London is wetter,
24:21and the less said about the ashes, the better.
24:23But Brits and the Aussies will always be mates,
24:26as we both thank the Lord we don't live in the States.
24:30But evil rears up every now and again,
24:32as some don't believe in goodwill to all men,
24:34and use a nice holiday fest by the beach,
24:37to make a world full of joy seem way out of reach.
24:40But look for the helpers, a wise man once said.
24:43The people who think with their hearts and their head.
24:45The people who do what they know to be right.
24:47Look for the love.
24:49Look for the light.
24:50Because all around the world people showed their support,
24:53from New York to Paris,
24:54right down to Earl's Court.
24:55Whatever religion, we all made a fuss,
24:58saying there were just two of them,
24:59there are millions of us.
25:02Whether Muslim or Christian, Hindu or Jew,
25:04deep down we all know what's the right thing to do.
25:06So no matter what happens this time of the year,
25:08bring your loved ones around and gather them near.
25:11If you're a Brit or an Aussie or half in between,
25:14may your paddock be golden, your tree evergreen.
25:17May your Christmassy lunch have no family clashes.
25:20But I'll say it again, don't mention the ashes.
25:23Whether Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas or none,
25:26happy holidays all, and I hope you have fun.
25:29And remember the words of good old Saint Nick,
25:32Merry Christmas to all, and don't be a dick.
25:43We'll have all that sleep for you after the break.
25:45We'll take a wobbly step into Christmas.
25:46We'll see you in a little bit.
25:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:02I'm going to apologise.
26:04Welcome back to Last Leg.
26:06We're joined by Thaddea El Gauri and Roisin Conaty.
26:08Wollum said the person from the BBC to tell Donald Trump
26:10to fuck off should be David Attenborough.
26:12Oh! Yes!
26:14I love that we've accidentally created a great text in.
26:18Text in with who should tell Donald Trump to fuck off.
26:21Yeah, yeah, yeah, hit us up on WhatsApp.
26:23Tell us who you think should tell...
26:25Why are you limiting... I can't say limiting.
26:28Why are you limiting it to one?
26:30BBC's got a huge employee base.
26:32Yeah, a whole... Oh, my God, they can do it.
26:34I think the whole country should get involved.
26:37LAUGHTER
26:38Well, all at once at midnight on New Year's Eve.
26:41Everyone tells Donald Trump to fuck off.
26:46Two, one, fuck off!
26:49All right, look, it's only six more sleeps until Christmas,
26:51five more sleeps until our Christmas Eve special,
26:53and three more sleeps until Thierry Henry
26:55unfollows Alex on Instagram.
26:57LAUGHTER
26:59Why is he going to unfollow him?
27:01Oh, he'll watch something that Brooker posts and go,
27:05no, I can't be associated with that.
27:08LAUGHTER
27:10Brooker's already upset because I made a joke about...
27:13We did do very well last week.
27:15I made a joke that we didn't do very well.
27:16I told you to be proud of yourself.
27:18LAUGHTER
27:20Let's get into the festive spirit.
27:22Let's start with Christmas traditions.
27:24Do you guys have any Christmas traditions?
27:25We... So I don't celebrate, obviously, we...
27:28Obviously.
27:29LAUGHTER
27:30But we do, obviously, like, everyone's off,
27:32so we all get at my mum's and then we have, like,
27:34we make a dinner and then, like, yeah, have fun.
27:38Yeah.
27:38We don't do presents or trees on none of that luck,
27:41but we do do the food.
27:43Interesting, OK.
27:44Spending time with family.
27:45Yeah.
27:45The worst bit.
27:48LAUGHTER
27:51There are people behind me applauding what you just said.
27:55LAUGHTER
27:55Just so you know, you may be on camera.
27:58Roisin?
28:00Oh, I've got traditions, Adam.
28:01I've got blimmin' traditions, all right.
28:04Um...
28:04My traditions are, I come from a very big family
28:06and I've got lots of friends.
28:08I'm very popular.
28:10LAUGHTER
28:10And lots of them show up unannounced.
28:13And by unannounced, I mean I forget they're showing up.
28:15Yep.
28:16And so a lot...
28:16My Christmas tradition is people showing up,
28:18me pretending I need the loo, I need to make something,
28:21and then I'm going rummaging and wrapping in another room
28:24and re-gifting something I've already got,
28:27but trying to find something really quick
28:29in a short space of time.
28:30Right.
28:31And I once, someone brought me like a, you know,
28:34a rubbish £10 sort of body cream
28:36and the only thing I had was a record player
28:38because I'd given away everything in previous gifts,
28:42rummage and wrapping, and so I gave them a record player.
28:44Then I had to re-buy for myself
28:46because a friend who bought me the wrapping player
28:47was coming round record player in a few days.
28:49LAUGHTER
28:50Happy Christmas!
28:51LAUGHTER
28:52In big Christmas news,
28:53something that made Alex very happy,
28:55I watched Home Alone for the first time last week.
28:59I've shocked you all.
29:01Ironically, I was Home Alone.
29:03Which means I now understand this that happened on the show,
29:07and this...
29:10Still don't entirely understand this.
29:14LAUGHTER
29:15I think it's...
29:16Genuinely, I couldn't believe that you hadn't seen it,
29:18but I think it's lovely that you've watched it now.
29:21Yeah.
29:21So, like, when I watched it for the first time,
29:23I was the same age as Kevin McCallister,
29:25and now you've watched it for the first time
29:27and you're the same age as the old Geezy with the shovel.
29:30LAUGHTER
29:33I think part of the reason I didn't see it when it was released,
29:35I was 20 at the time, and I was in that age
29:37where it's weird for a 20-year-old
29:39to go and watch a kid's movie on his own.
29:41Yeah.
29:42But you had a bit of an issue.
29:44Yeah, I mean, when I saw...
29:46When I saw Elle for the first time, I was, like, 19,
29:49and I went, like, three times.
29:50And I'm not weird.
29:52LAUGHTER
29:53But, yeah, there was a bit...
29:53So, this week...
29:54So, this is one of the few things
29:55that I've ever been able to talk about on the show
29:57that's been sent to me on one of my WhatsApp groups
30:00and my mate.
30:00Yeah.
30:01So, my mate, Humsey, sent me this thing.
30:03Basically, it was a TV choice.
30:04So, this was their reviews of the Christmas films.
30:07Mm.
30:08Babe!
30:08Can I just ask a great question?
30:10Your mate reads TV choice?
30:11He just sent it.
30:12Is it an 80-year-old grand?
30:15LAUGHTER
30:15So, he sent it.
30:15Babe, five stars, right?
30:18Yep.
30:18Home Alone, four stars.
30:21Now, unless that reviewer is David Cameron,
30:23that is bullshit.
30:25LAUGHTER
30:27I think Babe...
30:28I think Babe is a five-star film,
30:30and I think it's better than Home Alone.
30:32LAUGHTER
30:34Fuck you.
30:34I don't think that.
30:35I just wanted to see what Brooklyn would do.
30:37LAUGHTER
30:38I'm going to say Five Star Babes sounds like a film I did watch when I was...
30:41LAUGHTER
30:43LAUGHTER
30:43LAUGHTER
30:44Oh, there we go.
30:47APPLAUSE
30:51Oh, in other Christmas news, a poll was revealed this week
30:54that nearly a third of the British public thinks Santa would vote
30:57for Zach Polanski and the Green Party,
31:00which is surprising considering how much coal Santa goes through.
31:03What do you think on that?
31:04Also, yeah, he's going down chimneys.
31:06It's one of the main reasons we've got children.
31:08I don't think we should...
31:08I don't think...
31:09I think this is madness.
31:11Yeah.
31:12He's based in the North Pole.
31:13Yeah.
31:14If he's not going to pay taxes in this country,
31:16he doesn't have a fucking say.
31:17LAUGHTER
31:18What do you think?
31:18I think so, because he's got a zero-carbon footprint.
31:23Yeah.
31:23However, the RSPCA are not going to like him,
31:26because he works those animals to the bone.
31:2924 hours, he goes round the whole world,
31:31are you mad, bruv?
31:34You know what I'm saying?
31:34No.
31:35Roisin?
31:37I don't...
31:38I think people project onto...
31:39When we like people, we project onto them the values we have.
31:42Yeah.
31:43But what we've all learnt about, you know, old celebrities is...
31:47And he's, you know, he's an old guy,
31:49he's been around for hundreds of years, you don't want to...
31:52I reckon if you had a Wikipedia page, it's not going to be great.
31:56So, you just don't...
31:57I don't think you can project very progressive views on that...
32:00that old creeping-in-the-house-at-nights-in-the-kids-room guy.
32:04LAUGHTER
32:05That's very optimistic gear you've got going on there.
32:09I think it makes sense that Santa would vote green,
32:10cos if anyone's worried about the ice caps melting, it's him.
32:13And also, much like Zach Polanski,
32:15a lot of grown-ups don't believe in him.
32:16LAUGHTER
32:18Christmas also means it's time for the darts at Ali Pali.
32:20Oh.
32:21Both of which have red-faced men with big bellies,
32:23but this year there's been an unwanted guest.
32:25Oh, mate, it's just been...
32:27It's been a week of high drama already at the darts,
32:30but the Ali Pali wasp...
32:33Yeah.
32:33I don't know if you've heard about this.
32:34It's basically a wasp that's been knocking about
32:37in Alexandria Palace during the darts this week
32:39for four days, five days, breathing in all the beer fumes,
32:42absolutely off its nut.
32:45LAUGHTER
32:45Just upsetting everyone.
32:46It's genuinely...
32:47One of the darts players actually brought wasp killer.
32:50Just in case...
32:51It was like pissing off all the darts players.
32:53Yes.
32:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:54And now, look, we wanted...
32:55We couldn't afford the footage of the wasp from Sky Sports
32:57because it's sports footage and that costs loads, all right?
33:00We wanted to show you,
33:01so we've mocked up our own version of the wasp in action.
33:05Here it is in happier times.
33:12Wash! Wash! Wash!
33:14Wash!
33:15Yes!
33:16Whoa!
33:17What was that?
33:17What the?
33:18Hey!
33:19Chill out!
33:20Whoa!
33:21Thanks.
33:22I'm not getting it!
33:23I'm running off it!
33:24I'm running off it!
33:25Whoa!
33:27You washed!
33:28Jesus cross, we're gonna sting someone in a minute.
33:29That was not on.
33:31Yes!
33:32Yeah!
33:35You know what?
33:39That looks so much better than I thought it was gonna look.
33:41We'll have more of a lovely for you after the break
33:43as we hand out our alternative sports personality of the year awards.
33:47We'll also unveil another mystery guest.
33:49I'll see you in a little bit.
33:50It is.
33:51It is.
34:06Welcome back to Last Leg.
34:07We're joined by Fatia Elgari and Roisin Conaty.
34:10Last night the BBC crowned Rory McIlroy as their Sports Personality of the Year
34:14of 2025.
34:16Congratulations.
34:17Although, personally, I thought Rory McIlroy deserved it
34:20for this candid moment at the Ryder Cup this year.
34:23That's uncle's looking tasty!
34:25No, shut the fuck up!
34:33And, look, it's all well and good to celebrate sporting excellence,
34:36but what about the forgotten heroes?
34:37Like, the guy who took this incredibly timed photo
34:39of Italian tennis player Jasmine Paolini at the US Open this year
34:42that was judged...
34:44Tennis photo of the year.
34:47So, the guy from Kneecap.
34:52We thought we'd highlight some more heroes now with this.
35:02So, I'm going to start by nominating two Australian twins
35:08who lip-sync on social media
35:10to iconic pieces of sporting commentary.
35:13This was their hilarious take
35:14on the moment Scotland qualified for the World Cup this year.
35:18There's McLin.
35:20He's going to shoot...
35:21He's not!
35:22He's not!
35:22He's not!
35:23He's out!
35:23He's out!
35:23He's out!
35:24He's out!
35:27He's out!
35:27Unbelievable!
35:30I have never seen anything
35:32quite as incredible
35:34and for Masters as Kenny McLean
35:39with practically the last kick of the ball
35:41to absolutely rubber-stop Scotland's place
35:45and the World Cup.
35:47Love it.
35:48Brilliant.
35:52I'm going to say it right now,
35:54we have too much time on our hands in Australia.
35:56Josh.
35:57Oh, let me highlight a sport we don't talk about enough.
36:01Yep.
36:02In July, 33 teams from countries
36:05including the UK, Japan, Australia and France
36:07competed in the litter-picking World Cup.
36:11Wow.
36:12There's something we could be good at.
36:13Team Smile Story from Japan won.
36:15You could say they cleaned up.
36:18Ha-ha!
36:20No?
36:20Ha-ha!
36:23Flying without me.
36:26Let's have a look at it, Adam.
36:27Let's have a look at it.
36:28Ha-ha!
36:29Ha-ha!
36:29Ha-ha!
36:31So here we go.
36:32Look at this!
36:33This is sport now!
36:34And then there's the British team.
36:38There's the Japanese team.
36:40Look, if we can't clear the darts, B,
36:43this is what Channel 4 need to be showing now!
36:46So I'd like to nominate the British team.
36:48OK, Fedya, who would you nominate?
36:50So I would nominate Mo Salah.
36:52Yeah.
36:52Not for the reason you think, right?
36:54Basically, every Christmas, he has, like, a massive Christmas tree
36:57and him and his family wear Christmas pyjamas
36:59and they take a picture with gifts and all that
37:02and he just gets shot to shit by, like, the Muslim community being like,
37:06what are you doing?
37:07You're a Muslim, it's Christmas.
37:09And he's like, yeah, whatever, bruv, shut up.
37:11And I love it.
37:12I just think he's a legend.
37:13OK.
37:14He's a legend for doing that.
37:15Raj?
37:15Well, I've got one.
37:17I don't know if it'll be allowed,
37:19but then I saw the litter picking, I thought, it's going in.
37:22I think Oasis,
37:24because I feel like them getting back together felt like a bit like...
37:29And the tour was a little bit like watching Rocky get off the mat,
37:33like, you know, like, it felt like...
37:35And then it got to the end, they won.
37:36I thought, Oasis...
37:37It was a sporting achievement.
37:39Yeah. Lovely.
37:40And it was that feeling of, like, when England are in the World Cup
37:44or something.
37:44There was that feeling when you went to Oasis,
37:46although it ended happily.
37:48LAUGHTER
37:49Brooks?
37:50Yeah, well, this is bittersweet for me,
37:52because mine was going to be the Ali Pali Wasp.
37:56Yeah.
37:56And we found out today that...
37:59He's dead.
38:00..may have been killed yesterday by one of the darts players.
38:02Oh, God.
38:03It's a sad moment.
38:04So, I just, er...
38:07If it's possible, can I just have a little moment of reflection
38:10for what the Ali Pali Wasp has done this week?
38:12Sure. Thank you very much.
38:13Thank you very much.
38:14Goodbye.
38:16Goodbye.
38:17Goodbye.
38:18You said you're good.
38:19I can still feel you're here.
38:21It's not the end.
38:24You can't give us hope.
38:25I can still feel you're good.
38:45I can still feel you're good.
38:49I can still feel you're good.
38:54But what was the reason can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
39:01So
39:02Has Angie been in in the news because a she has a reindeer that thinks it's a dog
39:08B Angie bought a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey
39:13Or see Angie bought a turkey from the butcher that was delivered alive. Oh
39:20God, I know what are your thoughts?
39:25I
39:31Think the answer to that question is intrusive
39:42Do you have a think about mullet over sing Angie to yourself for a little while
39:49We'll reveal a mystery guest after the break and we'll end the show with a very special Christmas performance
40:23We'll see you in a bit
40:24So
40:25Does Angie have a reindeer that thinks it's a dog?
40:29Did Angie buy a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey or did Angie buy a turkey
40:35from the butcher that was delivered alive?
40:38What do you guys think?
40:40I
40:41Think I think I know this so I'm gonna let Rasheen and sweat it
40:51All I've got is that song okay, I think I
40:55Think
40:57You got a sausage that looked like Lana Del Rey does it does that line up with what you were
41:03thinking for here?
41:03Oh
41:05I'm excited though because if it is I'm when we say bring out the pig in blanket that looks like
41:10Lana Del Rey that's when we get the BAFTA
41:14What do you think?
41:14I think it's the deer because I remember seeing a clip because I watch TV a lot because that's who
41:20I am and
41:21I'm sure I think it's the deer all right. Do you want to she looks like she don't take shit?
41:27Do you want to go deer and Roche do you want to go sausage? I always want to go
41:31Sausage
41:41Well, please Angie so you've got one H Angie. Can you please tell us how you're connected to the news?
41:49I've got a beautiful baby reindeer called Lars who's grown up his dog
42:03I suppose the question is why does your reindeer think it's a dog?
42:07Whether he was only two or three days old. He needed help being fed so he came into the house
42:13and he's basically lived with the dogs and myself
42:17since
42:18And you can see the pictures of him. So when people come to your house
42:22Come to your house, they sing Angie
42:26Angel Angel
42:28Is it a dog? Is it a deer?
42:33Is it going to get the antlers soon?
42:35It's got little antlers this size and then they'll fall off in the next few months and then they'll go
42:40a new set
42:40A bit like me, but not quite
42:44Angie, thank you so much. Have a happy Christmas
42:46Happy Christmas
42:47All the best to you, dear
42:49All right, make it easy
42:52What's this?
42:54What kind of post, what kind of guests, why aren't we getting antlers?
42:58I don't know why they were given to us. You're more than welcome
43:00I'll tell you why it is inclusion. They felt jealous because of me
43:04They were like, I'll let us have some headgear, innit?
43:07Yeah, I'm just out here better than yours. You look shit
43:09I'm just out here better than yours. You look shit
43:10I'm just out here bareback in my head
43:13All right, Josh has been defaming the last seven days. What have you got?
43:15First up, we got a message from Simon Adam and he said
43:21Stratford to White City is 35 minutes on the Central Line
43:26And somebody would have given up their seat for you
43:29And the other is a behind their scenes
43:32Yeah, there was a bit that was meant to be in the show where me and Brooke are dressed up
43:35as a pantomime horse and did dressage
43:36In tonight's show? Yeah
43:38We did it in rehearsal
43:39It wasn't good enough in rehearsal
43:42And it was deemed so bad it couldn't go on TV
43:44Bearing in mind what makes it in
43:47But they did film it and now they're telling us we should show the audience what our rehearsal was
43:52Okay
43:52Would you like to see us trying to do pantomime horse dressage?
43:56Is it as good as the wasp?
43:59You'd been a judge
44:00That was like AI
44:02We're in the zone now
44:03Yeah, we're not talking to you, we're in the zone
44:10I like it
44:13What?
44:15What is going on?
44:22We'll go round here
44:23Yeah
44:25Oh my good lord
44:28Looks like a Pixar version of Human Centipede
44:38Alright, we are about to end the show with a very special performance from the Music Man Project
44:42Which is a choir made up of people with learning disabilities who've performed at the London Palladium, the Royal Albert
44:46Hall and for His Majesty the King
44:48They also gave a spectacular concert in Rome last week
44:51David, who is the leader of the choir, what's next for the Music Man Project?
44:56Well Adam, I've got a world exclusive for everyone here
44:59Yeah
44:59Because on October the 7th next year, the Music Man Project will play Broadway in New York
45:13We are so happy to have you close the show for us tonight, but before we do, would you please
45:18thank our guests, Fatia El Ghorey
45:19And Roisin Conaty
45:22And my co-host Josh Whittacombe
45:24And Alex Brokaw
45:28We'll be back on Christmas Eve with comedian Harry Hill and presenter Alison Hammond
45:32And we'll have a Christmas sing-along with Rick Astley
45:34But right now, this is the Music Man Project performing Jingle Bells
45:37Thanks for watching The Last Leg, my name's Adam Hills
45:39See you next week for The Last Leg of Christmas
45:46I should feel the snow
45:48One more snow for space
45:50All the fields we go
45:53Nothing all the way
45:54Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
45:57ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
45:59.
46:00What fun it is to ride and sing a sleigh, so tonight
46:04Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
46:08casual eingerei on a 밝혔
46:11A jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
46:16Oh, a fun thing to ride and one home should portray
46:20Display dancing through the snow on a confinement stay
46:24All a tipsy girl, laughing all the way
46:29Bells are not every
46:31Make this spirit bright
46:33For money is to ride and sing a sleigh
46:36So tonight
46:36Oh, single bell, single bell
46:39Single lullaby
46:40Oh, par is to ride
46:43In a lot of chokes and�
46:44Oh, single bell, single bell
46:47Single lullaby
46:48Oh, par is to ride
46:51In a lot of chokes and�
46:52Single bell, single bell
46:54Single lullaby
46:55Oh my, it's a night to a 선
46:57Yeah, hear the bells, hear the bells
47:00Bigger all the way
47:01Oh my, it's a night to a
47:03mum
47:04Bogi
47:05Bogi
47:07Bogi
47:09Bogi
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