You Need Love!

Stefan Molyneux

Philosopher Stefan Molyneux dismantles nudism's philosophical core—clothing as shame-control—pitting modesty's romantic edge against virtue-forged love to command moral living for unbreakable fulfillment.  0:00:00 Philosophy of Nudism  0:08:25 The Nature of Philosophy  0:13:12 The Importance of Action  0:16:09 The Reward of Love  0:20:15 Filtering for Virtue  0:25:12 Conclusion and Farewell   GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025

Transcript

00:00Hey everybody, it's Stefan Molyneux from Freedomain. Just a couple of miscellaneous thoughts

00:04that have come out of recent conversations with the good folks on the planet. And the first is

00:11I was having a conversation with somebody not super long ago about, it was interesting,

00:16the question of the philosophy of nudism came up. And I wanted to cough out a couple thoughts

00:24about that because, you know, there's certainly the one perspective that, you know, the reason

00:29we have to wear clothes is control and shame and bullying and conformity and so on. And,

00:35I mean, those things may have elements of truth in them, of course, but my perspective was a little

00:41different. I'd love to hear what you think. My argument was something along the lines of this.

00:48If we look at why most cultures, almost all cultures, have caused at least the genitals

00:58to be covered up, all the way from sort of pygmies in South America or other places and all the

01:06way

01:06through the Bushmen, Kalahari, and, of course, European cultures that we cover up genitals.

01:13And most cultures, at least not third world cultures, will cover up breasts, but not all,

01:21right? I mean, particularly very tropical climates will mainly breasts open and exposed,

01:28as I remember vividly from the National Geographics of my youth. And so the question is, well, why

01:34would there be evolutionary pressures towards the covering up of genitalia in a tribe? So,

01:40as usual, I did my little mental sorting thing. You've got tribe A and you've got tribe B. Tribe A

01:46is fully naked. Tribe B covers up erogenous zones, right? Not Dr. Wayne Dyer's erroneous zones, erogenous

01:54zones. Breasts, butt, and genitalia. And we've got tribe A covers them up. Tribe B does not cover them

02:05up. Who is going to have an evolutionary advantage? Well, one of the challenges of leaving genitals

02:12exposed is that it is impossible to cover up or hard to cover up. No, it's really impossible to

02:18cover up sexual desire. So, if we can think of some married couple in tribe B where the genitals are

02:27exposed and some babysitter comes over and the man finds the babysitter sexually attractive and gets an

02:33erection, then the wife is upset, the pair bond is harmed, you get lots of conflicts, and there may be

02:39separations and so on. And so you can't play coy in particular as a male if you find a woman

02:48sexually

02:49attractive. And, you know, you're flying free, the beast is uncaged, the lion is out, then it's going to

02:57be pretty hard to hide that, and so on. And you may deny, say, no, no, no, I don't find

03:02it that

03:03attractive, but if your boner is four sheets to the wind, that's going to be a little less believable,

03:07so it could harm the pair bond, and so on. It is hard for a man to woo if he's

03:16talking about the stars

03:17in her eyes, and so on. And, in fact, it is the hard-on that is pointing to her like

03:25a compass to

03:25magnetic north. So it's a little harder to be believable in focusing on the qualities of the

03:33woman if your hormones are clearly pointing you in that direction. I remember once I cast a guy in a

03:40play who did not date, and he had to play some, not sexual, but some romantic scenes with a woman,

03:50and he was wearing, unfortunately, track pants when he was doing this scene, and it was evident that

03:59as far as sexual attraction went, he was not acting. I think that's probably the best way to put it,

04:06certainly not, or very method acting, I guess you could say. So there's that. With regards to female

04:13desire, of course, if, one of the reasons women wear makeup is to cover up their sexual desire,

04:20sort of flushed faces, and so on. And if the woman, if she experiences nipple hardening as a result of

04:25sexual desire, then having the breasts free would indicate that. Sometimes fashionable lips can swell

04:33if a woman is sexually excited, or there could be lubrication, and so on. So it's not obviously as

04:40obvious as a man's erection, but it certainly is there for those who have the eyes to see, and it

04:46would be

04:46of great advantage for men to read the signs of sexual arousal if women were naked, or at least

04:55topless, and so on. So it's a little harder to be coy, it's a little harder to hold out, it's

05:00a little

05:01harder to bargain, it's a little harder to be poetic, it's a little harder to pair bond, or a lot

05:04harder to pair bond, if you are continually seeing that your partner is aroused by other people, if such

05:11is the case, which is going to be, and it could just be a purely physiological response, right, but

05:15nonetheless, it's not good for pair bonding, where there's less pair bonding, and less coyness, and

05:20less romance, and less dedication, and less playing hard to get to try to get a higher quality person,

05:27then, I mean, we see this online, where there are these endless stories, apocryphal, probably,

05:33I don't know, generated in India, who knows, right, but there are, in general, these stories

05:39about a woman saying, you are not friends with benefits material, you are husband material,

05:50and therefore, I'm going to go and sleep with these other guys, but that's only because they're

05:58not husband material, I remember this line, it's a chilling killer line, which is like, all the girls

06:03keep the good ones around until the time is right, and she's finished exploring herself, and finding

06:09herself, because she often finds herself, I don't know, tied spread eagle to a bedpost, or something

06:14like that, so that's finding yourself, apparently, so that's one major issue. The other major issue,

06:22of course, is that if a man is in a state of sexual excitement, then he's less thinky, right,

06:32you know, the old joke that the blood can only go to one head at a time, right, and as,

06:38and this

06:38is a fairly well-documented phenomenon, that when men are sexually excited, they are less able to

06:46reason, and they are, it's harder for them to concentrate as a whole, so again, you got tribe A,

06:53they cover up, tribe B for boob, they don't cover up, so then the men who are working in tribe

07:00A

07:00are constantly distracted by the naked female form. I mean, imagine, I suppose, the equivalent would be

07:08trying to write a very tough exam with pornography right in your face. Obviously, a little tougher to

07:18concentrate, a little tougher to get the blood going up rather than down, north rather than south,

07:24but to the girdle to the gods inherit below is all the fiends. So, in tribe A, the men can

07:31concentrate

07:31and work hard. In tribe B, the men concentrate less and work less hard. And so, if you look at

07:41things

07:41like creating weapons, forging swords, battle axes, shields, and so on, then the battle weaponry will

07:52be of much higher quality in tribe A as opposed to tribe B, and therefore, they will tend to win

07:59those battles, which means that being clothed or covered up will tend to spread, whereas being

08:06naked will tend to contract, right? There will tend to be less of those and more of that. So,

08:12even just concentrating on food production, concentrating on repair and maintenance,

08:16concentrating on whatever, right? It's just not going to work as well. So, those were just a

08:23couple of thoughts I had about that. Another thought I had was, I've sort of noticed that

08:30there's been a number of people lately in call-ins who are enjoying philosophy as an interesting or

08:37entertaining gig, but being progressively, or entertaining or enjoyable show. It's a show,

08:43right? So, I used to say, how long have you been listening to my show? I don't like the idea,

08:50and I sort of fundamentally rebel against the idea that what I do is a show. So, you'll hear me

08:56say,

08:57and repeatedly, you'll hear me say, how long have you been listening to what I do? To what I do,

09:03as opposed to my show, because I don't like referring to what I do as a show. The calling is

09:08much more serious than that. So, I've noticed that there are a number of people who are still

09:15kind of do the hedonist thing, still kind of do the avoidance thing, still kind of doing the

09:20dishonesty thing. And again, like, I just, I need to keep reiterating this. I know it may sound

09:26repetitive, but it is really important. I say this while myself being subject to all of these temptations

09:34and right down there in the trenches with you. So, I'm not like, oh, well, I've risen above all of

09:38these, never any issues, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But not noticing that they're still subjected

09:44to these temptations, nor noticing that they are consistently failing to resist these temptations.

09:52What's the old Oscar Wilde line? Oh, I can resist anything except temptation.

09:58So, it seems that there are a number of people who are listening, of course, some number of people

10:03who are listening to what I do as a show, and something that they're like, wow, you know,

10:08these call-in shows are really interesting, or Steph's got some good insights, or that's very

10:11interesting analysis, or whatever it is, and not, you know, this is stuff that you kind of really

10:17have to do. And the reason, I mean, there's a number of problems with that, from least important

10:21to more important. Number one is that it discredits philosophy and what I do. If you are only listening

10:28to what it is that I do as a form of entertainment, I mean, I guess it's okay. I mean,

10:35do what you want,

10:36right? I'm not going to do some purity test or action test to have people listen to the show.

10:42If that were even possible, I wouldn't do it if it was. But if you are listening to what it

10:47is that I do

10:47as interesting and engaging entertainment, then I'm going to make a request that you don't tell

10:55people that you're interested in philosophy, and in particular, that you are interested or consume

11:03what I do. In the same way that if I was a nutritionist, and I had put out a diet

11:09book,

11:10and you only read my diet book or listened to my diet program, but you didn't actually implement

11:18any of the things that I suggest or encourage, I wouldn't want you to be talking about my diet book

11:24or my diet show, because that would be to discredit. Like, if you're 300 pounds and gaining,

11:30you know, 10 pounds a month or whatever, then I don't want you talking about my diet book,

11:36because then people will say, you know, well, so-and-so really is into Steph's diet book, and

11:41boy, you know, they're just doing terribly. Like, then they're going to think that my diet book has

11:45something to do with it. So, if you don't take someone's advice and act in a practical manner

11:53to achieve good suggestions, please don't talk about that person's good advice. Or, if you are going

12:01to talk about that person's good advice, like, if you're really, if I was a dietitian, and I was

12:05selling a book and a show, and you had spent years consuming my dietary advice, and you do want to

12:13talk about what I do, please tell people that you don't follow the diet. I'm really into Steph's show,

12:19I'm really into the way that he does philosophy, but I don't actually take any of his suggestions,

12:24I don't act on them. That's important. Because you want to be somebody who, even if you don't

12:31spread the virtues of philosophy through sort of direct empirical action and choices, at least

12:36you're harming the cause of philosophy or what it is that I do, if that makes sense. So, that's

12:44important. You know, I'm not going to nag you if you just view what I do as interesting, insightful

12:49entertainment, but not something to be actually acted on in your life. I'm not going to, you know,

12:53whatever, listen away. I think it's better to put it into practice, but I'm not going to be overly

12:58fussy about that. But I will make a request that if you're not doing philosophy, and you're not doing

13:04the things that I've made a pretty damn strong case for over the last 21 years of public philosophy,

13:09if you're not doing any of those things, please don't talk about me. That's just a, it's a minor

13:13request. I think it's an important request, and you're not helping, right? You're not, if you're not

13:20doing philosophy, don't tell people that you're really into philosophy, because then they will

13:25assume that if you're into philosophy, you're doing it, and if the outcomes in your life are

13:30negative, they'll assume that philosophy, or at least what I do in terms of philosophy, has negative

13:34outcomes. If you're talking about how much you love Dr. So-and-so's diet, and you've been studying

13:41it assiduously for the last five years, and you are obese and gaining weight, you are actually harming

13:49Dr. So-and-so's diet, and it's accepted. So, I would request, if you don't mind, either do it,

13:55or view it as entertainment, but don't talk about it with people. Oh, man, you got to really follow

14:01Dr. So-and-so's diet, if you're gaining weight, and you're obese, then that's pretty negative, right?

14:08So, or at least tell people, hey, man, I'm really into Dr. So-and-so's diet, man. I've read all

14:15the

14:15books. I've watched all the shows. I just love that guy, but I don't follow his diet, just, I mean,

14:22because I know, like, I'm like 300 pounds, right? So, just be aware. I love his style. I love his

14:27insights. I think his stuff about diet is fantastic. I don't follow his diet, just so you're not

14:33confused, right? So, just say that, right? Just say, I'm really into this deaf guy, great philosophy,

14:37show. I don't follow it. Like, I don't do any of it, but I really do enjoy the insights, and

14:45he's

14:45funny, or thoughtful, or whatever it is. He's got great arguments, but I don't, you know, just be

14:50aware that I don't follow any of it, right? And that's important, because I'm desperate to not

14:57discredit philosophy, and anyway, you sort of get the idea. Now, of course, the second consequence

15:04is that, I mean, love is our involuntary response to virtue. If we're virtuous, it can't be faked.

15:12And love requires integrity, honesty, and moral courage. You have to be noble. You have to be

15:20admirable. You have to fight the good fight. You have to be the enemy of evildoers and the friend

15:27of the virtuous. You have to spread good. Love is the reward we get for spreading virtue in the world.

15:35Love is the reward we get for spreading virtue in the world. And there's no other way to get it.

15:44And in particular, romantic love. Romantic love is the reward we get for spreading virtue in the world.

15:50And, of course, it is there in part to compensate for the danger and harm that evildoers will inflict

15:59upon us when we spread virtue in the world, because spreading virtue in the world means directly and

16:04actively interfering with the goals of evildoers, right? The more that you spread, say, personal

16:13safety, like you, let's say, the more you spread alarm systems and cameras and you keep people safe,

16:21the more you harm the interests of thieves, right? So, if you do good in the world, evildoers get mad

16:31at

16:31you and they make your life difficult. And so, I mean, you have to have an incentive, right? I mean,

16:38lust and our desire for a sexual completion is one of the driving forces behind love, pair, bonding,

16:44romance, family, blah, blah, blah, right? That's the reward, right? And so, we face rejection,

16:50we face humiliation, we face danger, we get attached and we lose people. Someone's probably

16:54going to die before someone else. So, everyone who loves, loves and loses, or almost everyone.

17:00And so, we fear the rejection and so on, but the prize is sexuality, the orgasm, and, you know,

17:08all the good stuff that comes with that. So, love is what we gain as the prize for thwarting the

17:20goals

17:20and desires of evildoers and thus drawing their ire and attack. And there's no other way to get love

17:28and self-respect comes out of that as well. Especially if, as we all do, we consume all of

17:34these movies and stories about these heroes who take on evil and march into Mordor and take on Dr.

17:43Magneto and things like that and Ellsworth Toohey. And we have all of these stories and we love the

17:50heroes who fight the good fight and the saving private Ryans and all of that sort of stuff. So,

17:57if we love the heroes who fight the good fight and show moral courage and integrity,

18:01but then we ourselves cuck out and flake out all the time, then we will have contempt for ourselves.

18:07Admiring the virtuous means having contempt for our own cowardice. And this is not a curse I'm

18:13inflicting upon you. I'm just telling you the consequences. If you love the idea of knights and

18:19heroes and Aragorn and whatever, right? Then, if you act in the opposite manner to that which you

18:26admire, you will have contempt for yourself. And if you have contempt for yourself, then you will not

18:34be capable of receiving love, right? You understand? So, that is the price. That is the price.

18:45Love is a form of admiration, of moral qualities. Moral qualities are to be achieved in the face of

18:52adversity. Wanting to have moral qualities, wanting to be moral without facing adversity is like wanting

18:59to develop muscles without any strength resistance training. It's like wanting to have abs without any

19:06diet or sit-ups. It's not going to happen. Not going to happen at all. So, we admire those who

19:14overcome

19:16fear and shame and cowardice and all the things that keep us from virtue. And if we have those

19:23things as ideals, we will have contempt for ourselves where we fail those ideals. And we will

19:29have the most contempt if we're not even aware of it. If we praise all these things and watch my

19:34show and

19:34I think I demonstrate some reasonable levels of moral courage and clarity and so on. And so, if you

19:41admire that and you don't do that, you are setting yourself up for failure, self-contempt, and the

19:48discrediting of philosophy, which was bad, makes the world the worst place. And the last thing that I'll

19:53say, based upon sort of a couple of convos I've had recently, is that, of course, love is our

19:59involuntary response to virtue. So, I tell people to filter for virtue when it comes to dating, right?

20:04Filter for honesty, integrity, directness, moral courage, and so on. So, filter for virtue. And

20:13that's great. I think, obviously, I think it's good advice. But you have to remember that it's a

20:17universal, quote, commandment or exhortation or encouragement to filter for virtue, which means

20:23if you're a guy and you're filtering for a woman who's virtuous, well, of course, as you know,

20:28no surprise here, UPB, that she is also filtering for virtue. So, you want a virtuous woman, she wants

20:36a virtuous man. So, you're filtering for virtue, and so is she. So, it is always very easy to think

20:43about what we want. It's a little tougher, but absolutely essential to think about what the

20:47other person wants, right? What does the other person want? So, if you want a virtuous woman,

20:53well, guess what? She wants a virtuous man, and vice versa. And what that means is that you have

20:58to look at yourself from the outside in and say, what virtues would cause someone to admire me?

21:04What virtues am I manifesting? Not talking about, but manifesting. What virtues am I manifesting

21:09that would have a good woman fall deeply in love with me and maintain that admiration and respect for

21:18my nobility and quality of character and so on? So, it's great to be filtering for virtue,

21:24virtue. But you have to remember, if you want to succeed in these areas, you must, must, must remember

21:30that she's filtering for virtue as well. And if you cannot give her a clear argument as to why she

21:37should choose you, then she's not going to choose you. If you don't know why you should be chosen

21:42as far as morals go, as far as virtue goes, as far as integrity and honor and nobility and all

21:48these

21:48things, if you don't know, if you can't explain, if you don't have empirical evidence, if you can't

21:54look in the mirror and say, I am committed to maximum reasonable morality and virtue, right? Not

22:02say all the truths in the world and get yourself thrown off a cliff in four minutes, right? If you

22:07are

22:07not able to answer that question, why would a moral woman choose me? Why would a moral man choose me?

22:17What will she see when she looks across the table at me? Will she see someone whose nobility and heroism

22:26and, you know, common sense moderation and courage and honesty and integrity, will she look across the

22:33table and melt in the presence of my virtues? Because we can only pay a bond with virtue. Otherwise, just

22:42biochemical

22:43nonsense, right? Which is fine for ducklings, but not people. So, think about what it's like sitting across

22:51the table from you. Will you be, or are you, someone that a moral woman will melt in the face

23:00of? Are you a woman

23:01that a moral man will melt in the face of? Do you manifest the virtues that you are looking for?

23:07Are you able to have an exchange of values, right? If you want someone to buy you, can you buy

23:14them? If

23:14you want someone to afford you, can you afford them? If you want someone to pay for you, can you

23:19pay for

23:19them? If you want to be inspired by someone's virtues, will they be inspired by your virtues?

23:25That's a question you're answering, whether I raise it or not, whether I bring that question up or not.

23:31You are answering it. Like, I don't go for jobs, obviously. I don't go for jobs where you have

23:37to be a surgeon, because I'm not a surgeon. And if I were to somehow be crazy enough to go

23:41for a job

23:41as a surgeon, I'd be pretty anxious, because I would be defrauding, because I know I'm not a surgeon,

23:47right? Some Frank Abnegale scenario, right? And of course, in the same way, if you are going for a

23:54virtuous woman, but you don't know, not even just believe, you don't know deep down that you're

24:00virtuous, then you will feel like a fraud, and you will be unable to do the relationship. You will

24:10be unable, and only consummate like sexually, but you will be unable to maintain it. You need to have

24:16a foundational acceptance or belief in your own virtues in order to be able to attract and keep

24:22a virtuous partner. I think it's worth it. I get, you know, that it can be alarming or nerve-wracking

24:29at times to be good, but it's nerve-wracking to ask a girl out, but it's worth it. And it's

24:36nerve-wracking

24:37at times to ask, to, to ask, to be virtuous, to ask yourself to be virtuous in the world, but

24:42it's

24:43absolutely worth it, because the fear of being virtuous passes, but the love that you get from

24:51being virtuous maintains and sustains and grows over time. The fear passes, and you say, gee, what was I

25:01so scared of? I mean, I got obviously horribly deplatformed and so on. Eh, whatever, totally worth it.

25:06All the negatives pass, and all the positives retain. So, that's a good thing. All right,

25:13thanks everybody so much. Have yourself a wonderful afternoon and evening, and I will talk to you soon.

25:20Bye.

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