00:04Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the diss tracks that traded
00:09the tough guy act for pure comedy, proving that being petty is often way more effective
00:13than being scary.
00:1910. Will You Help Me Repair My Door?
00:22Aphroman
00:28Imagine the police raid your house, find absolutely nothing, and then leave you with a broken
00:33front door. Most people would call a lawyer. Aphroman? He checked his security cameras,
00:38grabbed a beat, and wrote a customer service complaint in song form. In 2022, after a botched
00:44raid on his Ohio home, Aphroman released this gem.
00:55He's not screaming, he's genuinely asking why the heavily armed officers are checking
01:00his suit pockets for kidnapping victims. Watching the footage of deputies awkwardly searching
01:05his house, while Aphroman croons about his busted door, is a level of psychological warfare we
01:10didn't know we needed.
01:1110. Will You Help Me Repair My Gate and Door?
01:199. T-Shirts and Buttons – Little B
01:29If you weren't on the internet in 2010, it's hard to explain the chaotic energy
01:34of the based god. When veteran lyricist Joe Budden dismissed Little B as a joke, the internet's
01:40favorite weirdo responded with t-shirts and buttons. This isn't a diss track, it's a fever
01:45dream. Little B barely engages with Joe Budden's technical ability at all. Instead, he frames
01:50him as washed, overly serious, and culturally out of touch. Using everything from his appearance
02:04and age to his career trajectory as evidence that he's simply not relevant anymore. Little
02:09B calls him old, mocks his beard, and basically treats one of the most serious guys in rap like
02:14a grumpy great uncle who, a la Grandpa Simpson, is busy yelling at clouds.
02:248. F*** Bow Wow – Soulja Boy
02:35DeAndre Cortez Way, better known as Soulja Boy, is the undisputed king of being unintentionally
02:40hilarious, but this track felt like he knew exactly what he was doing. During his 2009
02:45beef with the titular rapper, Soulja Boy dropped this high decibel assault on his former friend.
02:50There are no metaphors here, there are no clever double entendres, it's just Soulja Boy cussing
02:55Bow Wow out over and over again, while insulting his height and his cars.
03:05It's the sonic equivalent of a middle schooler standing on a lunch table and pointing a finger.
03:11Soulja Boy sounds like he's having the time of his life being a hater, and the low budget,
03:14high energy vibe makes it feel like you're listening to a leaked voice note that accidentally
03:18became a hit.
03:267. Back to Back – Drake
03:32There's a specific kind of funny that comes from being the bigger person, while simultaneously
03:38destroying someone's life. When Meek Mill accused Drake of using Ghost Riders in 2015,
03:43Drake didn't go street, he went Mean Girl. Back to Back is a masterclass in passive-aggressive
03:54humor. Drake basically painted Meek as the backup dancer in his own relationship with Nicki Minaj.
03:59It's the only diss track in history that you can play at a wedding or a bar mitzvah while still
04:04acknowledging that a murder is taking place. Drake proved that making people laugh at your opponent
04:08is way more effective than trying to sound tough.
04:176. Killshot – Eminem
04:23When MGK dropped Rap Devil, people thought he actually held his own. Then Eminem woke up from his nap.
04:29Killshot is hilarious because Eminem spends four minutes acting like an annoyed dad who has to get
04:35up and deal with a noisy teenager. He spends half the song making fun of MGK's Man Bun, his vanity,
04:46and the fact that he's basically a fanboy who got too close to the sun. It's the lyrical equivalent
04:51of a professional boxer getting hit by a toddler and then gently tossing the kid into the neighboring
04:55yard. 5. No Vaseline – Ice Cube
05:05Usually when a group breaks up, they trade a few shots. Ice Cube, however, decided to burn the entire
05:18building down with everyone inside. No Vaseline is one of the most aggressive tracks ever, but its humor
05:23lies in Cube's storytelling and his absolute refusal to hold back.
05:276. Killshot – M.C. Red
05:34He blasts his former NWA partners, and his descriptions of manager Jerry Heller are like
05:39something out of an R-rated cartoon. The way Cube systematically dismantles Eazy-E, Dr. Dre,
05:45and the rest of the crew is delivered with such an I told you so smirk that it becomes a
05:49comedic
05:49epic of legendary proportions.
05:584. How to Rob – 50 Cent
06:04Before he was a mogul, 50 Cent was a guy with zero dollars and a very funny plan. In How
06:15to Rob,
06:1550 Cent goes through a hypothetical to-do list of robbing every major star in the industry. He talks
06:20about sticking up Jay-Z for his watch, snatching chains from Big Pun, and even robbing Mariah
06:25Carey. The humor comes from how casual he is about it. He's not angry at these people. He just really
06:31needs their jewelry. It was a brilliant, funny way to introduce himself to the world by basically saying,
06:41I'm poor, you're rich, and I'm coming for your stuff. It forced everyone he mentioned to respond,
06:46effectively making 50 famous by sheer force of will.
06:523. Real Motherf**king Guns – Eazy-E
07:03This is the gold standard for visual comedy in a diss track. Dr. Dre had just released Dre Day,
07:09making Eazy look like a fool. Eazy's response? He went into the archives. He found photos of Dr. Dre
07:15from his electropop days in the world-class wrecking crew, complete with sequins and mascara.
07:27He didn't just rap about it, he put those photos in the music video. He mocks Snoop Dogg,
07:32and calls out Dre's studio gangsta persona with such glee that you can almost hear him
07:36laughing through the lyrics. It's perhaps the ultimate This You moment in hip-hop history.
07:472. Not Like Us – Kendrick Lamar
07:50It is genuinely wild that the biggest song of 2024 was a track where a Pulitzer Prize winner
08:02accuses a pop star of being a predator. Kendrick Lamar took a dark, heavy beef and turned it into
08:08a West Coast barbecue anthem. Kendrick is making some of the heaviest allegations possible, but
08:13he's doing it over a beat that makes you want to do a line dance. From the A-minor wordplay
08:20to its
08:21anthemic chorus, Kendrick made Drake's humiliation the centerpiece of his 2025 Super Bowl performance.
08:26It's funny because it's a public execution disguised as a summer hit. Kendrick won the battle handily,
08:32of course, but he also turned the entire planet into a comedy roast audience at Drake's expense.
08:36The audience not dumb, shape the stories how you want, hatred, they're not slow.
08:47Before we continue, check out this single from Sound Mojo's Aria, Songs from Iran,
08:52reimagining Persian melodies as modern rock, metal and pop songs. Check out the full track and album below.
09:13Number one, Lemon Pound Cake, Afro Man.
09:22We're back with Afro Man for the top spot because this is quite possibly the pettiest thing ever
09:26recorded. During that same 2022 raid we mentioned earlier, Afro Man's cameras caught one specific
09:32deputy. While everyone else was looking for so-called illegal activity, the sheriff's deputy
09:36stopped in the kitchen and spent a long, longing moment just staring at a lemon pound cake on the counter.
09:42Mama's made me a pound cake.
09:46Afro Man sings about the officer's hunger and how he should have just asked for a slice.
09:51The music video is more or less just a loop of the cop looking at the cake,
09:54while Afro Man croons in the background. It's absurd, it's harmless, and it's the single funniest
10:00way a civilian has ever gotten back at the law.
10:09Which diss track made you laugh the hardest? Are there any we missed? Be sure to let us know in
10:14the comments.
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