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Boyzone No Matter What S01E01 (2025) [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
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00:01The following programme contains strong language.
00:10Hello!
00:12No, far away, far away now.
00:14Faraway trivia.
00:16Stephen Gagey once lived in a faraway trivia.
00:18Hi Melinda, hello.
00:21Are you laughing? Are you laughing at me?
00:23No, no.
00:24We were the most unlikely bunch to succeed.
00:28We weren't perfect, we weren't polished.
00:30Shane! How are you?
00:32We were a bunch of kids, put together.
00:36Pushed out on a world stage.
00:38Don't know where Mikey is.
00:39Ah, there he is.
00:41Told to look like superstars.
00:43Good luck, guys.
00:44Perhaps that was part of our charm.
01:06And the winner is...
01:08MyZone!
01:16Look at that one.
01:17Look at that one.
01:19Turn that way, look at that one.
01:29There was a massive argument in the dressing room.
01:32And I lost the plot.
01:34The band imploded.
01:35I was ready to get the fuck out of there.
01:38It was a lonely time.
01:40Standing on stage in front of 100,000 people.
01:43Fucking lonely.
01:45It was absolutely scandalous, horrendous,
01:49what the newspaper did to Stephen.
01:51The famous Louis Watson.
01:53Louis hurt me.
01:54He knew how to hurt me.
01:57Vicious, bitchy, horrible things.
02:00I think he was afraid that the monster might become bigger than the creator.
02:04As it became bigger, so did their egos.
02:07They believed their own publicity.
02:10They forgot I wrote it.
02:11Good evening, Manchester!
02:17The boy's own singer, Stephen Gately, has died.
02:21He was 33.
02:25It's very hard.
02:35We loved each other, the five of us.
02:39But you never truly allow people to see all of you and who you are.
02:43I don't think I've processed everything that's happened in my life.
02:47I don't know how much they do know about me and my struggles.
02:53After 30 years, I think now's the time to talk about it and close this chapter in our lives.
03:23It's a bad place.
03:25Hi.
03:32OK, so I want you to sort of take me back, early 90s.
03:37Look, I'm back on it.
03:39And the 90s were a fucking blur.
03:43What is love?
03:45Baby, don't hurt me.
03:46Three, two, one, go!
03:58What is love?
04:03Another fantastic year for Take Back.
04:06They've swept the smash hit,
04:07following his party board completely clean.
04:16In 1993, I was 16 years of age.
04:19I was at school.
04:21We were a working-class family in Dublin,
04:23didn't have a lot of money.
04:25There was a story in the paper.
04:27They're holding auditions for the Irish answer to take that.
04:31This was right up my street.
04:33I love to sing, love to perform.
04:36It was happening that evening around the corner,
04:39and I remember just seeing these big lines of guys
04:42all down the stairs, outside, out onto the street,
04:46about 300 lads.
04:47I remember walking in and walking up the stairs
04:50and looking at these guys thinking,
04:51wow, they look like pop stars.
05:06Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen red hair.
05:13I've seen the sunny days, never pop will never end up.
05:20I just remember thinking, I'm never going to get in.
05:22I clearly remember that, a million percent.
05:27But I got noticed by Louis Walsh.
05:35Ah, I'm just waking up properly.
05:38That's fine.
05:42I prefer ordinary people, because they work harder
05:46and they do whatever you wanted to start.
05:50I wanted to do, like, an Irish version of Take That.
05:54I was looking for boys with personality and talent and fun
05:59and Irish charm.
06:02I wanted that.
06:03It was all about, what are girls going to like?
06:08I had met Shane before.
06:10Shane had a great look.
06:12And even if he wasn't a great singer,
06:14I was going to work with him.
06:20I would have been 17 years old.
06:22I worked for my dad as a car mechanic,
06:25working underneath cars.
06:27The fucking rain running down the back of your neck.
06:30Louis Walsh promised us the sun, moon and stars
06:34from the beginning.
06:35He goes, lads, I'm going to make this happen.
06:38And you're going to be big pop stars around the world.
06:41And we went, OK.
06:43And believe them.
06:44They were so keen.
06:45They so wanted something different in their lives.
06:48They were doing nothing.
06:49And this was a chance of something great.
07:01I do remember Stephen Gately.
07:04Steele, Steele just had this charisma that was crazy.
07:08And he knew how to be a pop star.
07:10He had, he just had it.
07:12He had that thing.
07:14I was still at school doing my final exams.
07:18But I love singing.
07:19I go around all day, every day singing,
07:22singing, singing, singing.
07:24I always knew that I wanted to be successful
07:26in the entertainment business, no matter what.
07:32All of us had to sing.
07:35And then they stopped playing the keyboards
07:39and they wanted to see us dancing.
07:45They put on various songs and called different names
07:48and we'd have to jump up and dance around the room.
07:52So, of course, what did I do was pull my clothes off.
07:56Rightly or wrongly, that's what I did.
07:58And I kind of danced and probably gyrated.
08:03I was 19 at the time.
08:05Dropped out of college.
08:06I was living in an apartment.
08:08It was more of a squat.
08:10But I'm going to be brutally honest and say,
08:13I definitely think, you know,
08:15I was put into the band because of how I looked at the time.
08:18I don't think I was taken on because of my voice.
08:21Well, they had to look good.
08:23It wasn't just all about the vocals.
08:25They had to look good.
08:27You had to get girls' attention.
08:28Show me your sir legs.
08:30Roland.
08:31Keith.
08:31Keith.
08:33Keith.
08:34Keith.
08:34Keith.
08:36Louis picked six.
08:38Stephen.
08:39Shane.
08:41Keith.
08:42Myself.
08:43And then two other lads, Richard and Mark.
08:47And that was boys' own.
08:50We were all young, 16, 17, 18-year-old boys.
08:55Nobody prepares a teenager for the world that they're about to live in.
09:01Nobody prepares them for the pressure cooker
09:03that they're about to kind of jump into.
09:05OK, well, who is who now?
09:06You identify yourself.
09:07I'm Ronan Keating.
09:08Ronan Keating.
09:08Where are you from?
09:09I'm from Soads.
09:10From Soads.
09:10OK, and who are you?
09:11I'm Mark Walton.
09:12Mark Walton from?
09:13Rohini.
09:14Rohini.
09:14Keith Duffy.
09:15Rohini.
09:16Shane Lynch.
09:17Rohini.
09:17Richard Rock.
09:18Stephen Gatley.
09:21The next day, we get a call to say,
09:24we're going on The Late Late Show tonight,
09:25which in Ireland is the biggest,
09:28it's the biggest TV show in the country.
09:30I was told you don't play any instruments at all.
09:33None of you.
09:33I was also told that you don't sing at all.
09:37None of you.
09:39And Louis Walsh said,
09:40you're going to perform on The Late Late Show live.
09:42And we said, perform what?
09:44We haven't learned anything.
09:45We don't know each other that well.
09:47You know, perform what?
09:49It doesn't matter.
09:49We'll make it up.
09:50We just need to get you on TV.
09:51We need to get you in the papers
09:52and we need to get you on TV.
09:54So we didn't sing anything.
09:55We just danced to a piece of music.
09:57And it was, yeah, it was pretty,
09:59it was a moment.
10:01All right.
10:01OK, cue the music and let's hear it.
10:22Oh God, it hurts now today.
10:2530 years later it still hurts.
10:32But we were loving it.
10:33We didn't care.
10:34We didn't give a shit.
10:36We loved it.
10:41I don't think there's any love-hate relationship
10:43with that video whatsoever.
10:45I fucking hate it.
10:46I hate it so much.
10:48But how I felt at the time was great
10:51because I'm on the telly doing a little dance.
10:56I'm in a band.
10:59Knowing the journey had begun.
11:03After the late, late, we thought we were pop stars.
11:07After some photo shoots we did,
11:10Louis Waltz wasn't happy.
11:12Visually wasn't happy with how we were looking.
11:15And these other two guys,
11:17Mark Walton and Richard Rock,
11:21he just decided that they didn't fit in the group.
11:23He decided that they didn't gel.
11:26And the two of them were out.
11:28I thought, holy shit.
11:30Like, if Louis could get rid of two members of the band,
11:32he'd get rid of any one of us at any moment.
11:33So you've got to work harder,
11:35ten times harder than anybody else
11:37to keep your position in the band.
11:41I had to let them know
11:43that they could all be replaced at any time.
11:46I had to make sure they were hungry
11:48and they were ambitious
11:49and they didn't take anything for granted.
11:53I was like that from day one.
11:57They were all insecure
11:59because they didn't know
12:01whether they were going to make it or not.
12:03They just had ambition.
12:05That was the one thing they all had.
12:07They all had great dreams and great ambitions,
12:10as did I.
12:12I knew five was the perfect number.
12:16If somebody leaves,
12:18you still have four left, so you're okay.
12:20So five was the perfect number.
12:22And we got Michael Graham in.
12:26Well, Mick joined the band.
12:28He came in.
12:29The other two have left.
12:30And this is the guy.
12:31He's number five.
12:33He was very talented.
12:35Very openly talented.
12:37He could write songs and he could sing
12:40and he could play and he could do all of that.
12:43So he was an immediate talent, yes, for sure.
12:46He had a really cool look, you know.
12:48I just thought, oh, he's cool, man.
12:49And Mick always had a guitar on his back
12:51and a foil full of songs under his arm
12:54and that was kind of his thing.
12:57I've not spoke to Mick for four years.
13:03I think there's an element of industry that damaged him.
13:10If I'm being honest,
13:11I think Mikey was a little bit lost in a boy band.
13:16Mikey himself is quite the recluse.
13:20Okay.
13:21That's it.
13:22Cool.
13:22One take two.
13:31I just want to give my own honest account
13:36of my experience in the band.
13:40And that is very, very different from the other guys.
13:55In the very early days,
13:58everything was brand new to us
14:00and we had our whole future ahead of us.
14:03And nobody had yet been tainted
14:06by any of the negative aspects of fame.
14:15We spent 1994 travelling around Ireland in a white transit van,
14:21top to bottom, north, south, east, west.
14:24We travelled everywhere.
14:28We travelled everywhere.
14:29We had song crack.
14:29We had song crack in the back of that transit van.
14:32It was a perfect fit.
14:33It just felt like I had a family around me.
14:36The boys were family.
14:39It was great.
14:50We were travelling around Ireland playing venues that weren't venues.
14:53You know, tables that were taped together in a nightclub.
15:00We mimed two backing tracks.
15:04We only had two live microphones and what we would do is we had three dummy microphones.
15:09We choreographed movements so that we could turn and our backs would be to the audience
15:14and we could swap mics so that everybody got a chance to talk live between songs and do their link.
15:20Well, watch us take a look at that one.
15:23The girls all loved us.
15:25The girls rushed up to the front, but guys hated us.
15:28They'd throw ice cubes at us and throw coins at us and they'd boo us.
15:33There was loads of points where I thought, oh, I'm wasting my time.
15:37This is not going to make any money or not going to be successful for anybody.
15:41And I had a lot of sleepless nights.
15:46But I knew they had something.
15:48And I thought, let's make the record to get them noticed, get them attention.
15:54We borrowed the money.
15:56It was 10,000 quid.
15:58And we recorded the song.
16:00I get a call from Louis saying that myself, Stephen and Ronan were being sent over to record the first
16:11boys own song.
16:13The three of us were sent over to London.
16:16They obviously kind of knew from the auditions that the other lads had stronger singing voices than Shane and I.
16:24And for that reason, there was no need for the additional expense of two more flights and two more hotel
16:29rooms and whatever.
16:30We just felt absolutely robbed.
16:33We felt, that's not fair.
16:35There wasn't a lot of money for flights, so I just brought the best singers with me.
16:39Our parents paid for the flights for Shane and I to join the other three lads.
16:43My parents certainly didn't have a lot of money, so they would have had to scrimp and scrape to get
16:48the money together for my flight, but they did.
16:50Right lads, let me explain what's going to happen.
16:52All of you, one at a time, are going to start out listening to what's on tape and copying it.
16:57I've done this for a few years, I know what I'm talking about.
16:59We went to meet this guy called Ian Levine, who was the big pop producer at the time.
17:04He produced Bad Boys Inc. and Early Take That.
17:08So this was a big deal for Boyzone to get in the room.
17:10And we recorded the Detroit Spinner song, Work On My Way Back To You.
17:17One by one, he'd pull us in studio to record the lead vocal on the track.
17:25And we were testing vocals, and Stephen sang, and Mikey sang, and then Ian Levine says to Louis,
17:31get rid of the blonde one, he can't sing.
17:35And I guess I didn't cut the mustard, I wasn't good enough.
17:38Mikey and Stephen were immediately good enough.
17:46You know, I found it very hard.
17:50I was 16 years of age.
17:53That could have broken me, that was a very, very tough thing.
17:55To go through, to be told, get rid of the blonde one, he can't sing.
18:00So we recorded the song, myself, Stephen, doing the lead vocals.
18:06It felt good.
18:08It felt positive.
18:10I get into the band because I love to do music, to write music.
18:14So I felt that the future seems kind of brighter if it means that I can progress, as a singer
18:24in this band,
18:26on to bigger and better things.
18:34There are a bunch of lads from North Dublin, who are being promoted as Ireland's answer to take that.
18:41Would you please welcome, Boyzone.
18:48Working my way back to you was only for Irish release.
18:52And I don't think we had an official record deal at that time.
18:55I think we had a one song deal in Ireland.
18:58I used to love to make you cry.
19:01It made me feel like a man inside.
19:04We did all the work over here, all the television work, radio work, everything.
19:10Everything non-stop.
19:11I'll be working my way back to you, babe.
19:15With a burning love inside.
19:19Working my way back to you.
19:21Went to number three, I believe, in the charts in Ireland.
19:23So we got quite successful in Ireland with a number three hit.
19:26That signaled to the UK that Ireland had a band that were worth checking out.
19:34Polydor Records, they came over to Ireland and they offered us a global deal.
19:42So this was our big break. This was our really big break.
19:45It was a big moment for the band.
19:47The record company said, send your best singers.
19:51Let's make the best record.
19:53Name, age and where you're from.
19:55Okay, my name is Mikey Graham.
19:56I had to pick who I wanted to be at the lead singers.
19:59Michael.
20:01There was part of me that made me believe that I maybe wasn't as good as I thought I was.
20:07And that maybe I didn't have a position in the band or a place in the band.
20:10And I'm Ronan Keating from Swords. I'm 17.
20:15Ronan, he was passionate. He was driven.
20:19Was he competitive?
20:21Yes, hugely competitive.
20:22He would do whatever he needed to do to win, to get what he wanted.
20:29I was a sprinter, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and I won the Irish title.
20:35I took a bit of that with me when I went into the band.
20:39I was trying to impress Louis because he was the manager.
20:41He had already gotten rid of two members in the band.
20:45I had to impress Louis.
20:47So I was attentive. I was professional.
20:50Tried to always make myself look like a pop star.
20:54Ronan was always trying to prove himself.
20:56As a singer, as an artist, as an all-rounder.
21:00He always wanted to be the front man in the band.
21:02And good for him.
21:03That's what made him into Ronan.
21:05He had ambition.
21:07I don't think people realise how much work it is.
21:09It's non-stop all the time.
21:11It's dead easy. Don't worry.
21:12We have a great time. Look at this guy here.
21:15Say hello to the camera.
21:16This is Louis Walsh.
21:17Yes.
21:18The famous Louis Walsh that you hear so much about.
21:21I decided Ronan and Stephen were the lead singers.
21:25I knew Stephen and Ronan had something special.
21:29And I knew girls liked them.
21:31And I knew they wanted it so badly.
21:35I couldn't take a chance.
21:37I had to make the best record with the best singers.
21:39That was it.
21:41There was no favouritism as such.
21:43Stephen Gatley.
21:44Without any word to anybody, Ronan was taking the lead role.
21:53I was upset about it at the time.
21:56I tried to convey that.
21:59But it fell upon dead ears.
22:01Listen, they all wanted to be lead singer.
22:03Ronan and Stephen were.
22:05And that was it.
22:06End of story.
22:10Stephen and I went in, did the vocals on that first big single in the UK.
22:15Couldn't wait for my mum to hear it.
22:17That's what I was most excited about.
22:21Oh, wow.
22:21I made that.
22:23You know, that kind of feeling that I made that.
22:25It's mad.
22:31Britain's number two is that old Osmunds classic, Love Me For A Reason.
22:34And they're here.
22:34They're live on stage with their biggest fan, Boyzone.
22:53And then Love Me For A Reason goes number two in the charts at Christmas time.
22:58I never had to look back after that because once that single was a hit, I was seen as a
23:02singer in the band.
23:03And I established myself as a singer.
23:06Boyzone was never going to change after that.
23:08And I think we all felt that.
23:09We all knew we were, we had a place in the band.
23:13Don't love me for fun, girl.
23:16Let me be the one, girl.
23:19Love me for a reason.
23:22Let the reason be love.
23:24That was the beginning of a hard struggle for me through the years.
23:32My confidence that I had beforehand about music fell through the fall.
23:43And it was a bit heartbreaking, I'll be honest with you.
23:45When you see an audience full of posters, you know, for Steven and Roland and Shane and Keith.
23:53And then you might see the odd one with Mikey, you know.
23:58Remember, I was 21.
23:59As a kid, that was tough.
24:03And Louis went from one day speaking with me to never speaking to me for seven years.
24:10And I never knew why.
24:12I had absolutely no idea why.
24:15I just thought he didn't like me.
24:18I probably ignored him a little bit, not realizing.
24:22But it's because the others were so full on.
24:25I thought he was happy being Michael.
24:27And being the quiet one at the back.
24:37I was kind of struggling with wanting to contribute more musically.
24:42So the record company sent me away on my own.
24:47I was working in this other studio and really hoping that what I came up with would be considered.
24:56Brought my stuff back to the record company and they already had the album done in London.
25:01And I wasn't on the album at all.
25:04Don't even think of singing it.
25:07That horde. That horde.
25:14And that loss of ambition, high spiritedness, vitality.
25:20When that left me, a lot of things left me.
25:22My interest in my own appearance.
25:29And I didn't drink until I turned about 24-ish.
25:34And I was introduced to Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola.
25:38And that became the thing that kind of got me through the next few years of the sadness and the
25:44disenchantment.
25:46I was very frustrated, angry, depressed.
25:52Because of all of that, I would withdraw from the band.
26:01The truth is, I don't know how bad it got because I didn't talk to him.
26:06The truth is, I didn't recognize any of his struggles.
26:11I know Mick suffered from sleep.
26:14He was an insomniac.
26:16And I think part of that was pressure, part of that was mental struggle, part of that was, you know,
26:22frustration.
26:23But I don't know how bad it was because we didn't talk.
26:30I also had a young daughter, so I had that responsibility, financially, to make sure that she and her mother
26:37were taken care of.
26:38But to be honest, if it wasn't for the responsibilities I had in life, like my daughter, you know, I
26:48would have walked.
26:49And I nearly did a couple of times until I kind of calmed down and realized the financial impact it
26:57would have on my family.
26:59So I stayed around.
27:07I think there was still a lot of issues.
27:11And maybe I'm to blame for that.
27:12Maybe I should have paid more attention and maybe reached out to people that I felt were struggling.
27:20But I was very hungry and I wanted to be great and I wanted to have my opportunities.
27:24And it created resentment.
27:27And if there's a resentment, all sorts of demons can appear.
27:37Hi, welcome back. The boys are here, boys from Dublin. Hi, nice to see you.
27:40Have a quick name check left to right.
27:41I'm Shane. I'm Mikey.
27:43Keith.
27:43Ronan.
27:44And Steve.
27:45How long have you been together for?
27:47Just over a year now.
27:49After Love Me For A Reason, we got a big agent, got a big promoter in the UK, everything changed
27:54for them.
27:54The star prize, right?
27:57It's these three Boyzone hats.
27:59We were on all the UK TV shows, Pepsi Chart Show, Top of the Pops, going live.
28:05Boyzone was on everything.
28:06Hi, we're Boyzone.
28:08This is our new single, Key To My Life.
28:15Our first album was number one.
28:18When we had made it at that point, that was just, wow.
28:23Us five lads from Dublin got this far.
28:26It went crazy for Boyzone.
28:30I'm fucked.
28:32Just travelling constantly.
28:34Airports.
28:35Airplanes.
28:36Vehicle.
28:37TV studio.
28:39Radio station.
28:40Hi, I'm Keith.
28:41And I'm Ronan.
28:42And we're from Boyzone.
28:43And you're watching Johnny's Hit Parade.
28:45Hi, I'm Keith.
28:46And I'm Ronan.
28:47And we're from...
28:47You just do it on your own.
28:49So what do you grab Thailand?
28:50You're watching Smile TV.
28:52You're watching Channel V.
28:53Space Shower TV.
28:55MTV Japan.
28:55Pop 10.
28:57TVK Shuffle.
28:58You're watching Street.
29:00What?
29:00They would literally work you from early in the morning,
29:02like live radio show at five or six in the morning,
29:05to live TV show at 11 o'clock at night.
29:12You're just so tired.
29:13When you're finished working, you can sleep.
29:16We're away.
29:17We're in a hotel in Germany.
29:18We go to the bar, you know.
29:20We get drunk.
29:21You go to bed, you wake up, you've got a hangover
29:23and you do it all over again.
29:24The eight special guests in the studio are...
29:27Boys on.
29:28Great!
29:29Louis never travelled with us.
29:31You know, the odd time, if it was something big,
29:33if you're playing Wembley,
29:35but on the day-to-day slogging away,
29:37Louis hated to travel.
29:39Oh, I'm in Dublin.
29:40I hardly...
29:41I didn't want to go with them.
29:42Oh, God, no.
29:44I don't think they knew what I actually did.
29:47I don't think they knew the work that actually I did
29:50behind the scenes at all.
29:52They've no idea.
29:53I think they just thought I made phone calls
29:55and it all happened.
29:56But it wasn't just like that, really.
30:03I don't think Boyzone probably realised
30:05how instrumental he was to their success.
30:09There was Take That who were cleaning up
30:13and then there was Boyzone who needed to do something fast
30:17to get people's attention next to this massive boy band.
30:22And Louis knew exactly what to do and exactly how to do it.
30:25And that was through the Tabloid Press.
30:28I was working as the Irish Mirror showbiz editor.
30:32My job essentially was to go and get the biggest stories
30:35about the biggest stars.
30:37Every day you're challenged with beating every other newspaper.
30:41And there were no rules.
30:43There were no rules.
30:44There were no rules.
30:44The only rule was you had to win.
30:46So for me, it was made very clear when I got into the mirror
30:52that the Sun were beating us.
30:56This is one of the first conversations I had with my boss.
30:58The Sun are beating us every day on Boyzone.
31:01I didn't give a fuck a year ago, he said,
31:04because they were putting out a load of old tat around Ireland.
31:07Now London are getting obsessed with them
31:09and I need you to become their best mate.
31:14I remember sitting down and being told to call this guy called Louis Walsh.
31:24So I rang him and surprisingly, he didn't just slam down the phone and say,
31:29put in an interview request like everybody else.
31:30He said, give me a call back in two days and I'll have a story for you.
31:35I always had a really good relationship with all the people in the press.
31:39And the tabloids were very important.
31:41So, you know, I kept them on side.
31:43I gave them stories.
31:44I told them things.
31:46Louis Walsh to me is the master.
31:49And in 20 years of journalism is the master puppeteer of the press.
31:54I mean, you can't underestimate how he rewrote the rule book
32:00about engagement with the press and why you should do that.
32:02He was access all areas.
32:06And he did play games.
32:08He was shrewd.
32:09He knew what the press needed.
32:13If there wasn't a story going around,
32:15Louis would get you one.
32:16And it didn't matter what you wrote as long as you wrote.
32:21I didn't realize how much we were in the tabloids.
32:24Like twice a week for five years, we were written about.
32:30And we were out of the country so much that, you know,
32:32we'd speak to our mums or dads and they say,
32:35Oh, I just read this in the paper. Is it true?
32:37And we're like, no, it's not true.
32:39Who said that?
32:40And you'd never know who said it.
32:44Oh, yeah.
32:45I mean, sometimes the boys would read stories in the papers
32:48about themselves that weren't true.
32:51And they'd say, who told them that?
32:53We, no, I did.
32:54I told them because I am promoting you.
32:57I make them up sometimes, but that's fine.
33:03He believed any story was a good story.
33:06Any story.
33:07He would make up stories constantly about the band.
33:10About relationships with girlfriends that were non-existent.
33:15Like plane crashes that were not true.
33:20I had them in a plane crash once in Australia
33:22and I forgot to tell the families I made it up,
33:25but there was no plane crash.
33:26But it got a good story.
33:28Did you ever feel guilty about it?
33:30I never felt guilty about it.
33:32No way. I was promoting them.
33:33I was doing my job.
33:35I would do it all again. Yeah, absolutely.
33:38I'd do even more now.
33:45The invasion of the tabloids was damaging.
33:48It scared us. I mean, it was hugely scary.
33:52What the media did to you, to us all.
33:54Having no control.
33:56People making assumptions on who you are
33:59from what they read in the papers.
34:01The five of us were massively affected by that.
34:05We all had our fair share of stories in the paper
34:08that affect us in different ways.
34:10The one who really had it the most
34:14was Stephen Gately, I'd say.
34:18Can I have a picture?
34:19It's mine.
34:20It's mine. It's mine.
34:21It's mine. It's mine.
34:22It's mine. It's mine.
34:22Debra! Debra, take the picture!
34:25At the time, Stephen Gately was very much
34:29a dream ticket for the tabloids
34:33because every girl in the country was mad in love with him.
34:37And Louie handed me a dream story,
34:40an almost inconceivably fantastical showbiz home run.
34:46He said,
34:47Okay, I'm giving this only to you.
34:52Stephen Gately and Baby Spice are secretly dating.
34:55I'll end this way.
34:56You two?
34:57This is the girl's one.
34:59Oh, this is the girl's one.
35:00Now, at this time, the Spice Girls are zig-a-zig-a-ring around the world.
35:06I mean, people were obsessed with them on a global level.
35:11Say, boys are all brilliant.
35:13Boys are all what?
35:14Brilliant.
35:14Boys are all brilliant.
35:15Oh, okay.
35:16Stephen Gately was single all the time.
35:20So, you don't take a step back to wonder if it could be true
35:23or if it's been exaggerated.
35:24You don't care.
35:25It's a home run.
35:26They said it.
35:27Print, print, print.
35:29And it did.
35:30I mean, it went everywhere.
35:37Stephen, he was living the dream.
35:40But he had a big secret.
35:42He didn't want anyone to know about it.
35:44He was so scared.
35:46He was so scared that it was going to kill his career.
36:10The 96 was a very, very special year.
36:13I was 20 years of age.
36:15We're playing Wembley.
36:17It doesn't feel real.
36:18You're still waiting for somebody to tell you you're an imposter.
36:21What are you doing?
36:22You shouldn't be doing this.
36:23It was an absolute honor to perform for the fans.
36:29There is nothing I can say to you that could describe the feeling of elation.
36:36I love you.
36:38I love you.
36:39I love you.
36:40I love you.
36:41We went from strength to strength.
36:43We didn't dip.
36:44We kept on building on what Boys Own World was.
36:49It was huge.
36:50You could do no wrong.
36:53High chart positions, sell out tours, record breaking ticket sales.
36:58It was so much fun.
37:00So great.
37:01My nickname is Homeboy because I'm always homesick.
37:04I was born on St. Patrick's Day and I used to be a dance teacher.
37:07Who am I?
37:08Steve.
37:08So girls, who is that homesick chappie?
37:10Steve.
37:10Steve from Boys Own is here.
37:13They're round here.
37:15Steven, he was actually from day one probably the most popular member of the band for girls.
37:21He was the heartthrob.
37:23Not Ronan.
37:25Steven Katie was the heartthrob.
37:31You know, we were very close.
37:33We had a great bond from very young.
37:37Pretty early on, we had fans in the garden of our house.
37:42Like, you know, they'd be parked outside, they'd be sleeping there.
37:47My mother would be making them cups of tea.
37:48He probably wouldn't come back for days and they'd be still sitting outside waiting for him, you know.
37:54Sorry, girls.
37:55I'm actually walking.
37:56You'll have to wait later on or something.
38:01Where's your camera?
38:03Where's your camera?
38:05I love you.
38:08He was the childhood sweetheart of millions of girls.
38:11They loved him.
38:13Steve, let us a kiss tonight.
38:14Let us a kiss.
38:18That's why we had to just rush and rush because if you stay there too long, you will not get
38:24out.
38:24And he had to negotiate his way through that.
38:27You could tell that it had taken a bit of a toll on him.
38:30And we didn't know why at that time.
38:33We didn't know why.
38:35I certainly didn't.
38:37Stephen, I think he was probably about to go on a tour.
38:42And he just said, there's something I need to talk to you about.
38:46You know, I said, yeah, okay, you know.
38:48And I said, well, let's go for a coffee.
38:51He just said that, yeah, I'm gay.
38:53He hadn't said anything to anyone in my family, you know, until he told me.
39:02I knew the minute I met him that he was on the bus, the same bus as me.
39:12And there was something about the shared experience.
39:16Pretty soon he gravitated towards me and started to tell me stuff.
39:21And I worried for him.
39:24There was a huge sense of vulnerability.
39:30And I knew where he was from in Dublin.
39:34So I knew it could never have been easy for him.
39:38Behind the Dublin Financial Centre, one of the capital's symbols of power, progress and wealth,
39:43hides Sheriff Street, symbol of poverty, dilapidation and urban decay.
39:48We grew up in a place called Sheriff Street.
39:51Tough, tough area growing up, like, I had four brothers.
39:56Me and the boys had one bedroom.
39:59Myself and Stephen shared a bed.
40:01He was down one end, I was up the other.
40:04You know, it was hard for people.
40:07Sheriff Street was a very, very rough and humble place.
40:12And quite unforgiving.
40:14And there would have been a dominance of criminality.
40:20To try and break out of that was going to be a big deal because just saying you were from
40:26Sheriff Street would have been a black mark against you, going for a job, going for anything.
40:32I was just determined to be famous since I was around nine.
40:37There's no one down my area that has made it.
40:40I'm going to be the first to be well known throughout the world.
40:44He knew that this was his ticket out of the life that he had.
41:09I was suspicious that he was gay from day one, but I knew he didn't want anyone to know about
41:15it.
41:17Stephen knew that keeping Stum on his real nature was part of his ticket out.
41:27We knew Stephen was gay.
41:29Stephen came to us, you know, early doors of the band and he said it to us.
41:33We were there for him, you know, as big brothers and protect him and look after him.
41:37He was obviously concerned about the reaction that the fans would have to him being gay.
41:42I mean, you're talking 25 years ago. It was a different world back then.
41:48The Catholic Church had held a firm grip on Irish society.
41:53Ireland was completely unwelcoming to gays.
41:58Teachers, bank officials, anybody like that who was outed, had to leave the country.
42:04They were disgraced.
42:07In 1993, homosexuality was decriminalised in Ireland.
42:12But Stephen hadn't yet learned to accept that it was OK to be gay because nobody had.
42:19It had literally just been decriminalised.
42:21So, you know, the country was only catching up with the rest of the world.
42:29And Stephen was caught in the crossfire.
42:31Will you welcome, please, boys' own Stephen Gaycock.
42:38I think Stephen's biggest fear was rejection.
42:42So, what's all this stuff about Kerri-Ann?
42:44I don't know where it sprang from.
42:45Do you know her?
42:46Yeah, I know her well, yeah. She's a really nice girl.
42:49You know, she's done well and we've known each other over the past few years.
42:51But there's no romance there at all?
42:53No, there's no romance there.
42:54What about Mandy Smith? We had her on the show and there was some talk about that.
42:56Mandy, bless her, yeah.
42:57He was trying to straddle both worlds and keep everybody happy.
43:01Do you think there's all this pressure coming on you?
43:03Because all the other lads, the four-olds, are spoken for.
43:05See, I get asked this all the time.
43:07I mean, every interview we do with every magazine, they always ask, you know,
43:11you're the only one left, what's the story?
43:12When I find the right person and when I settle down, then, you know,
43:15I'll be happy and I'll let people know.
43:17But at the moment, I'm just...
43:19His struggle was eating him alive.
43:21From the moment Stephen got up in the morning, until he went to bed at night,
43:26he was overwhelmingly afraid that he was going to be exposed.
43:33How do you cope with the success of the kind of media attention?
43:36It is quite difficult for me.
43:38I do find it hard to cope with at times and I just like to shut myself in my room.
43:45I'm sensitive and I can get very upset easily.
43:48But, you know, I have four great friends look after me.
43:53Stephen was incredibly fragile.
43:56He was a fragile person and it wouldn't take much to push him.
44:00There was many a time when he would lock himself in a hotel room and we couldn't get him out.
44:05He was always on his phone and you'd never know who he was on the phone to.
44:08He was always stressed out.
44:10He had a lot of anxiety going on in his life.
44:12It was a lonely, lonely place.
44:16He was scared of the press doing the story on.
44:19He was so scared.
44:21Louis did tell me that some of the papers were trying to out Stephen.
44:27One of our team who had a serious contact in The Sun had basically given us their daily summary of
44:38espionage.
44:40And it was that The Sun are running a front page world exclusive tomorrow that Stephen Gately is coming out.
44:55We're in the dressing room in the Coliseum in Hong Kong.
45:04I was a strip with editor at The Sun.
45:08Somebody came to The Sun, was selling the story that Stephen was gay.
45:16I wrote the story.
45:19What we were about to do was going to change everything.
45:25The Sun could help a business.
45:29And the slavery, the family, and sulk, etc.
45:36It wasì œë¥¼ coming out by the first place almost as he was injured and醒ured the country.
45:36It was made for the stories justified.
45:37The ones who put it in front of Alan rather than the one in its own.
45:37Within this moment, him would have provided anything clear for how he could not deliver.
45:38But this isuxical , rather than the other project.
45:42He had some tests for him not to.
45:46He looked at theOnly by stepping crocast.
45:47The hand was just fine right now.
45:47He affected his connections for his life.
46:01Transcription by CastingWords
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