00:06Hanna is a single mother by choice. Her son was conceived through sperm donation.
00:11I came to the conclusion that having a child was more important to me than having a life partner.
00:19Leontina is also donor conceived and was shocked to find out just how many half-siblings she has.
00:24The hardest part being donor conceived is that people think that I should be lucky to just exist.
00:32And Michael donated his sperm, a decision connecting him to dozens of children he may never know.
00:39I would love to see them all. I would love to see them. But I know it will not happen.
00:47Three people. One consequential decision. Sperm donation.
01:12Hanna from Sweden is living her dream. One year ago she became the mother of Arvid.
01:18She's always wanted to be a mum. What's special about her? She's done it on her own, without a partner.
01:25Yeah.
01:33Moments like this when he's sleeping or when he's running around and you can see the joy in his face,
01:38that's just pure love.
01:40Like, yeah, your heart just like swells when you see him.
01:45So even if you love other people as well, it's not really comparable in a way.
01:55For years, Hanna had been looking for someone. Then she decided to become a mother through sperm donation, partly funded
02:03by the state.
02:03It worked out on the fifth attempt.
02:06I came to the conclusion that having a child was more important to me than having a life partner.
02:14Like, of course, I want a life partner, but I see that as a bonus.
02:19But having a child, I think that felt like really, really important. Like a life without a child for me
02:26felt empty.
02:30But building a family alone also means carrying the full weight of that choice.
02:36Alongside the joy, there have been difficult moments.
02:39When he was four months old, Arvid suddenly had to be taken to the hospital.
02:47Moments like that, when something happens, then I think it's hard to be a single mom by choice, I guess.
02:56Because you don't have anyone right there when it happens.
02:59Even if I have a great support system, in the end you're always a bit alone.
03:08Since 2016, single women like Hanna can legally become mothers in Sweden.
03:13It was one of the first countries to implement the scheme.
03:17By now, most other European states allow it.
03:19But especially in Central and Eastern Europe, it still remains illegal.
03:24Like in Austria, Czech Republic, Italy, Lithuania, Poland and Slovakia.
03:31At this sperm bank in Sweden, couples and single mothers receive sperm donations.
03:37Stored in liquid nitrogen, each sample is carefully preserved.
03:42Lab head Ashling Alström explains to us that only about five to seven percent of men end up being approved
03:48donors.
03:51Many have a good quality sperm, but they have to still get through all these testing and screening.
03:57And it's a good way of making sure that we're not just taking in any sample.
04:06Potential donors are screened not only physically, but also psychologically.
04:11Sweden wants to make sure that they are donating responsibly and in a fully thought out way.
04:16Here, every donor might one day be contacted by their offspring as Sweden banned anonymous sperm donation in 1985.
04:24It was thought donors would be more reluctant, but we haven't really been affected by the fact that they're non
04:31-anonymous.
04:32Maybe it's a cultural contribution, they feel like they're doing this as altruism.
04:37Many of them think it's something nice to do for the society and for people.
04:49Leontine was conceived through sperm donation in the 90s.
04:52She knows what uncertainty about your heritage feels like.
04:56At the time, single women were not allowed to access sperm donation in Sweden.
05:01Her mother travelled to Denmark and used an anonymous donor there.
05:05But for Leontine, he was always more than that.
05:09I always called him my biological father, or my biological dad, or just dad.
05:15It was important for me to make him my humour and not just a donation.
05:20It's my heritage and it's not a donation.
05:25And also, I wasn't a part of this agreement.
05:30I never received a donation, my mom did.
05:34As a child, Leontine didn't ask herself many questions.
05:38But as she got older, she wanted to know more about her origins.
05:42She turned to an online DNA database and made a discovery.
05:49I always noticed I had siblings, but I, you know, they were just like shadows.
05:54I didn't know, you know, the faces or that they had any names or that they were human.
06:00So it was, yeah, it was shocking, but also fun.
06:03It was fun to see them and that they exist.
06:10At first, she found seven half-siblings. Then, the list kept growing.
06:15Today, she has identified 27 spread across Europe, more than the sperm bank ever disclosed.
06:22And there may be more who haven't taken the test yet.
06:25We share something very personal, but we're still strangers.
06:32And they would, you know, pop up on this DNA site at any time and we don't have any control
06:38over.
06:39They probably don't know that they are donor conceived and they will find out.
06:44And that it's not that fun to be, you know, part of that negative surprise.
06:53Limiting the number of children per donor is now a heated debate across Europe.
06:57As rules vary widely, eight countries led by Sweden are pushing for stricter limits, an initiative Germany has not joined.
07:05It currently has no legal cap.
07:07Critics warn stricter laws could make fertility treatment harder to access, especially as birth rates fall across Europe.
07:19Donors like Michael want to help. We meet him in the Netherlands.
07:23He decided to donate sperm after hearing from friends who were unable to have children.
07:29Michael himself grew up with many siblings.
07:33The main reason for me was that I saw how deeply touched people can be when not being able to
07:42get a child of their own.
07:45And I knew there are a lot of techniques and maybe I could not help my friends, but I could
07:50help other people in similar situations.
07:54For years, Michael donated regularly and openly, meaning any child could contact him later. None did.
08:01Eventually, he joined a DNA database and found out he's fathered 21 children.
08:09I've met three of them from three different families and they're all very different from each other.
08:19But very interesting because in every child you recognize also a part of yourself, of course.
08:24You can see that it's a child of mine.
08:28But the satisfaction from helping others faded as Michael learned about scandals in the sperm donation system, including cases where
08:37children were never told that they were donor-conceived.
08:41When I was asked, would I do it all over again, I would do it in a different way.
08:47I would say now to parents, you can have my semen and conceive a child under one condition.
08:56That you tell your child that you be honest to it.
09:01Michael supports a national and international donor register, giving people like him the chance to know what became of their
09:08donation.
09:15Aisling Alström agrees that a unified European donor register is needed, as well as more regulation.
09:21It becomes quite a large number when it's not regulated.
09:25And as we've seen, is it okay to have a hundred genetic siblings or is it better to be regulated
09:34so that it's more of a number which you can maybe have a relationship with?
09:40At this clinic, they try to avoid cases of so-called super donors, some linked to dozens or even hundreds
09:47of offspring.
09:48But safeguards can only go so far.
09:51We try to control the donors that are coming to our clinics in contractual agreement.
09:57We're asking them not to donate anywhere else.
10:00But many of these donors may go international or may go to another country and donate.
10:06And that makes the numbers very hard to trace.
10:16Leontina knows that not all men want contact with their donor-conceived children, just as not all donor-conceived children
10:22see contact either.
10:24But when they do wish to meet their biological father, that desire can often remain unfulfilled if his consent isn't
10:31given.
10:32I think it's a human right to know where you came from and who you're related to.
10:37And to decide if you want to know them or not.
10:42And to know your medical history and things like that.
10:47It's very, you know, it's so personal information and I think it's, yeah, it belongs to everyone.
10:54No, it didn't.
10:57Are you going to open it?
11:00Avid was conceived in Sweden, where donations are identifiable by law.
11:05When he turns 18, he can ask for his donor's identity.
11:09But that doesn't mean the donor has to respond or ever meet him.
11:16A child needs people in their life that they feel loved them unconditionally and that they feel safe with.
11:23But if that's one person or several persons, I think it's fine either way.
11:29But of course, the more persons, the better.
11:32But it doesn't have to be a biological father.
11:38Many parents do not want to conceal their child's origins.
11:42Sperm donation is their only option.
11:45And they stand by their decision.
11:49He might be mad at me about it, that I denied him that part of his life, I guess.
11:54But in the end, and I think what I'm going to say to him is that if I hadn't chosen
11:58to do this, then there would be no you.
12:01There might be another child, but it wouldn't be you.
12:03So, in the end, this is the life you got, and we have to work with what we got.
12:10And while Sperm donation is increasing in many countries,
12:13Europe is still grappling with whose rights matter most.
12:17Those of the parents, the donor, or the child.
12:20If you put it down, then you will also be happy.
12:26Do you want to sing?
12:29Let's go to the wagon a little bit, David.
