00:00Bernie.
00:01Hey.
00:02How you doing, man?
00:03Very badly.
00:07I'd missed my daughter's birthday.
00:09I'm gonna take Eve to my mom's.
00:11My wife left me.
00:12And then...
00:12I got fired.
00:13I want you out today.
00:15That's when I happened upon this old antique jewelry box.
00:19And then I rubbed it.
00:25Oh!
00:25Oh my god!
00:27Who are you?
00:28I am a genie.
00:30Your wish is my command.
00:32Okay.
00:33I wish I had my very own camel.
00:39If you're an actual genie,
00:41that explains the whole three wishes thing.
00:43Fairytale stuff.
00:44Real genies, unlimited wishes.
00:47I wish I had large pizza, pepperoni, extra cheese.
00:53This is just a triangle of red bread.
00:57Go and try it.
01:00Wait an ever loving minute.
01:02This is heaven.
01:04This place is big.
01:06You've probably been sleeping inside that box slightly longer than you think.
01:09What color are we talking about?
01:11Look what I found.
01:12Two thousand years.
01:13What do you call it?
01:15Oh, sanitizer.
01:16Sanitizer.
01:17Mmm!
01:18Zesty.
01:20I need to get my wife and kids to love me again.
01:22And for us to be happy.
01:23Start with kind of sprucing up the place.
01:26Uh, go on, make it the Mona Lisa.
01:31I mean, she could have smiled, right?
01:36Years from now, I want you to remember he's the very best friend that I ever had.
01:42You're gonna love this.
01:53Mm-hmm.
01:55So tell me about this whole Christmas thing of yours.
01:58It was meant to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.
02:00Jesus? Are you talking about Mary's kid?
02:01You actually met him.
02:03What did he do to get so famous?
02:04We turned out to be the son of God.
02:06Oh no, I thought he was kidding.
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