00:00Il mio nome è Barnabas Collins
00:10Due centuries ago
00:12I made Collinwood
00:13My home
00:14My love
00:15Until a jealous witch
00:17Cursed me
00:19Condemning me
00:20To the shadows
00:22For all time
00:27What the hell is this?
00:30He's coming
00:31He's coming
00:36Hear me, future dweller
00:37What is the year?
00:391972
00:401972?
00:45My beloved Collinwood
00:46The Collin's family
00:47Who the hell is this?
00:49I'm a vampire, madam
00:50Yeah
00:52He's just staying with us forever, is he?
00:54I like him
00:55Oh, super fat
00:56Welcome home, Barnabas Collins
00:58How soon can the horses be ready?
01:00We don't have horses
01:01We have a Chevy
01:07What sorcery is this?
01:10Reveal yourself, tiny songstress
01:15Hello, Barnabas
01:16Remember me?
01:17Witch
01:18You cursed me to be this hideous creature
01:20You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior
01:23And kiss it repeatedly
01:24What if I made you love me?
01:25With what a spell?
01:27With this
01:27I must admit
01:29They have not aged a day
01:36Is she for real?
01:38Indeed
01:41If I can't have you
01:42I'll destroy you
01:44And your family
01:47Missed me
01:52I shall restore the family business to its former glory
01:56Burn, baby
01:58Burn
01:58Fight on, Barnabas
02:01Fight on for us
02:03And fight, I shall
02:10Love me
02:11Never
02:19That was a regrettable turn of events
02:23Are you stoned or something?
02:25They tried stoning me, my dear
02:27It did not work
02:28Don't work
02:30You
02:30You
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