00:03www.mesmerism.info
00:30How can we tell that it's not?
00:31Well, I've already examined Audrey.
00:33She has, in my opinion, two of the pinkest, plumpest, and most beautiful ovaries I've ever seen.
00:39Are you hitting on my wife?
00:40I'm shooting good stuff, and I know this for a fact.
00:42When I decided to ask Audrey to marry me, I couldn't afford a decent ring, so I donated sperm.
00:47Now, they wouldn't very well pay me good money for bad sperm.
00:50You know, why not just go down there and see if they have anything for us to use?
00:53Ah, what do you know? We have one batch left.
00:55Yeah!
00:56Whoops, I'm sorry. Looks like we already sold it.
00:58Whatever it is they're paying you, I'll give you a double right now.
01:02This isn't eBay, sir. We don't get into bidding wars over sperm.
01:05When they said that you couldn't have your sperm back, they robbed you of your future.
01:09And you have every right to steal it back.
01:10Are you talking about robbing a sperm bank?
01:13A double right, you bet I am.
01:14No, that's crazy.
01:16Crazy?
01:17But brilliant.
01:17Crazy!
01:18But brilliantly crazy.
01:19No, just crazy, crazy!
01:21I know just the guy who can help us.
01:22Former bad man for the Indian mafia.
01:24So here is the plan.
01:25This is the sperm bank.
01:26This is the barbershop.
01:28Right next door.
01:29Sorry.
01:30But wouldn't it make more sense if we made the comb the barbershop and the cream the sperm bank?
01:36I'm just saying.
01:39She never cries.
01:40I've heard that about those babies.
01:41I heard they're also really musical.
01:43Well, I already got her a violin.
01:44She doesn't even have fingers yet.
01:46What's her name?
01:46We wanted to name her something Chinese, but also, you know, American.
01:51So we went with Jackie Chan.
02:06We heard about your problem.
02:08What we'd like to do is offer you our sperm.
02:11What?
02:12People helping people, right?
02:13Or not.
02:14Whatever.
02:18Stop smoking that stuff.
02:20It's making you paranoid, you douche.
02:22Dude, it's for my glaucoma.
02:23Do you really have glaucoma?
02:25Early stages.
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