00:09In a time when the world is searching for enlightenment
00:15One man
00:16I am his holiness, the Guru Pitka
00:20My goal is to get you to say
00:22Gee, you are you
00:25TM
00:26Is in a position to help
00:36It's my time to shine
00:38On June 20th
00:40Take a look at this
00:41The Toronto Maple Leafs will pay you 2 million dollars
00:45If you can get Darren Roanoke back with his wife
00:47In time to win the Stanley Cup
00:49Give me a pound
00:51Lock it down
00:52Break the pickle
00:54Tickle, tickle
00:56The second best Guru in India is coming to America
01:01How do you do? Shrimp?
01:03What'd you call me?
01:04I'm sorry, I didn't catch your gnome
01:06Name?
01:08You are a midget
01:09Ain't no connection between my hockey and my love life
01:13You are not allowed to fight anyone for any reason
01:19What the hell are you doing?
01:22Was that upsetting?
01:23Looks like I'm gonna have to shove these love beads someplace special
01:26Nice hat
01:27I had a hat like that once
01:28Then my mom got a job
01:36From Paramount Pictures
01:37Rajneesh, I'd like an alligator soup and make it snappy
01:40Because alligators are snappy
01:42And at the same time I want it prompt
01:45Mike Myers
01:50Jessica Elba
01:53So, Jane
01:54Boyfriend?
01:55No
01:55Girlfriend?
01:57Well, I mean, there was one time in college
01:59Really?
02:00What was that?
02:01I didn't hear anything
02:02Justin Timberlake
02:04Did someone order the special Quebec pizza?
02:07You know, like in the porno
02:10Looks like he's smuggling a schnauzer
02:13The Love Guru
02:17I'd like to thank the Academy
02:19Wow, these things are heavy
02:21Yeah
02:21Put me down, jackass
02:23Okay
02:25June 20th
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