00:03There's a crisis in the White House.
00:05What's a crisis?
00:06And the President's top advisors have been called together.
00:10Oh, jeez.
00:11The sexual misconduct occurred inside the Oval Office.
00:15With the election only days away, how much will this scandal affect the outcome?
00:19The President spent the weekend pressing the flash.
00:22He wasn't campaigning, he was dating.
00:24Now, Washington's top spin doctor.
00:27We can distract.
00:28Back at press for 11 days till the election, I think we got a chance.
00:30Has an idea.
00:31We can't afford a war.
00:33We're going to have the appearance of a war.
00:34But he can't pull it off without Hollywood's top producer.
00:38Uh, do I know you?
00:40We have some mutual friends in Washington.
00:42Why come to me?
00:43We want you to produce.
00:44You want me to produce your war?
00:46Not a war, it's a pageant.
00:48We need a theme, a song, some visuals.
00:51We need, you know, it's a pageant.
00:53New Line Cinema presents...
00:55How close are you to this?
00:56What do you want the kid to say?
00:58All the spectacle...
00:59I know we're all concerned for the President.
01:01I know we're all concerned for the President.
01:03I know, uh, that we're all concerned for the President.
01:06He didn't, he didn't sell the line.
01:08All the drama...
01:09The President's gonna go to war with Albania in about 30 minutes.
01:12Albania's hard to run.
01:13These are chips.
01:14We need it for the armed position on the street, and it'll be a kick, and we'll punch it in
01:17later, right?
01:18And all the effects of real war...
01:20Okay, put the, the village behind him.
01:22Give me some sound of screaming.
01:25Without the casualties...
01:26Without the casualties...
01:27America has seldom witnessed a more poignant picture of...
01:29Face the same process with the last Schwarzenegger movie.
01:32You're the man.
01:34Albania, Albania...
01:35That rhymes.
01:36I can't believe that he forgot a hero.
01:38It's like we sent him the Christmas card, and we left out the, what do you call it?
01:41Fruitcake.
01:42There you go.
01:43Sergeant...
01:43Schumann, if I may, welcome to history.
01:46How are you?
01:48Anybody want a beer?
01:50It's a good party.
01:52When it's cooking, it's cooking.
01:54From Academy Award-winning director Barry Levinson...
01:57When this goes national, I get to put it on my resume?
02:00Actually, no.
02:01What, what could they do to me?
02:02They come home to your house and kill you.
02:04Academy Award winner Dustin Hoffman...
02:06This is politics at its finest.
02:08Academy Award winner Robert De Niro...
02:10How would you like an ambassadorship?
02:12That's my pay-all.
02:13Hell, I'd just do it for a story to tell.
02:15Oh, no, you couldn't tell anybody.
02:16I'm just kidding.
02:17No, you're just going to be telling.
02:19No, no, no, it's just a, it's a, it's a pageant.
02:21It's a pageant, that's what it is.
02:23Wag the dog.
02:24When the fit hits the shan, somebody's going to have to stay after school.
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