00:01Do you want to do the honors, Alan?
00:03Yeah!
00:04No, you never touch this. This is Captain Dave time.
00:09Good afternoon, everyone.
00:10I'd like to welcome you on Jackpot Airlines Flight 1610,
00:13service to Lost Wages.
00:16Why aren't you laughing?
00:18I've already liked it 1,200 times.
00:22Run in!
00:23Artem, what's the problem?
00:24There's a baby man sitting in my seat.
00:27If I sit here, I lose. If I sit here, I win.
00:30Anybody sitting next to an unoccupied seat
00:32and is willing to move gets free beer.
00:34You!
00:36Not you!
00:37All right, gentlemen, it's time to get high.
00:40And also fly this old bird.
00:42Just a little Captain's joke.
00:43I never get high when I'm flying unless I mistimed the edible.
00:48You really think that's a good use of everyone's time?
00:50If I can't have some fun with my passengers, why am I here?
00:53To fly the plane. Go do that.
00:57I did not take this job to be stuck on the same stupid route forever.
01:01I thought I was going to travel the world, meet interesting people.
01:04I thought I would have adventures.
01:06I thought I was going to be a dancer.
01:07Oh, my God. Is that how crazy I sound?
01:11Are you two kids getting married this weekend?
01:13Uh-huh.
01:14You know, if you need an officiant.
01:15Are you ordained?
01:16Uh, yeah. You're sitting in my ordination.
01:18You should be flying this plane.
01:20These planes fly themselves. This baby is a technological marvel.
01:26I can't do this anymore. I quit.
01:29No, you don't.
01:30I'm done. And the raving bitch in 5E needs a double screwdriver.
01:33There's no one in 5E.
01:35There is now.
01:36Vodka, scotch, tequila. It's like you're hosting the Olympics in your liver.
01:39Yeah, well, Russia's in the lead, but Mexico's coming on strong.
01:47Oh, that's wet.
01:48This is so much grosser than I ever imagined it would be.
01:52You two banging in there?
01:56Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!
02:01Bad news, folks.
02:02Flight 1322 with service to Los Angeles will be delayed at least another hour.
02:07I just want to throw up in my own house.
02:12One more for the road, Scotty.
02:14I'm wheels up in 10.
02:19It's club soda.
02:22It's club soda.
02:23Good stuff.
02:25Good stuff.
02:25Thanks.
02:25That kind of phone-pick, sir?
02:26.com Get this out.
02:26Let's get this
02:26Grazie a tutti.
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