00:00Hi there, here's some things to do of your new college student.
00:03Get your room ready.
00:04Check.
00:05Make some new friends.
00:06Check.
00:07Find yourself suddenly perimenopausal.
00:09Check.
00:11Delete.
00:12Oh yeah.
00:12Okay.
00:15Hello all.
00:16This mediation is here to help facilitate your divorce.
00:19You will all be civilized and you will please address all speech to me.
00:23To you.
00:23So even if we want to talk to one another, we can.
00:25I mean, if I wanted to say, Deanna, I am going to have a beautiful life with your husband.
00:31Deanna.
00:32I can't believe you brought her.
00:33I can't believe you brought Christine.
00:35I can't believe you shacked up with a bitch.
00:37I just want to say for the record, I just needed an upgrade in my life, Deanna.
00:41You son of a bitch.
00:42I'm sorry, you son of a bitch.
00:44You're the son of a bitch.
00:45You're the son of a bitch.
00:47I object.
00:4923 years of marriage just down the zooms.
00:54What am I going to do?
00:56I'm a 40 something year old woman that doesn't even have her degree.
01:01Oh my God.
01:03I know what I'm going to do.
01:06I don't regret staying at home and being your mom, but I regret not getting my degree.
01:10That's why somebody's mom just enrolled in college.
01:14Beep, beep, beep.
01:16It's me.
01:19I want the full experience.
01:21Oh, hell no.
01:23I don't know what's Saturday.
01:25The mom perm or the mom boobs.
01:27These allow this one to suckle at these teeth for 28 months.
01:32I wear them around my waist proudly.
01:35This isn't the time.
01:36Hop out!
01:36Get ready for the wildlife.
01:38There goes the neighborhood, huh?
01:40Stop!
01:41Uh-oh.
01:42I cannot stay out of this unbelievable chocolate.
01:44It is weed bark, so maybe I would probably hold off from having any more.
01:49Just because, uh...
01:50What is it?
01:51You have such cruddy eyes.
01:55For 20 years, I worried about what I wasn't doing right, what I could have been doing better.
02:00You have a moment here if you take it.
02:03Oh, my God, Mom!
02:05Don't jump to conclusions.
02:06You don't know what's happening here.
02:07It looks like my mother is doing the walk of shame out of a frat house.
02:10Well, okay.
02:11Yes, technically, that's what's happening.
02:13Let's go.
02:13You know what?
02:14I'm older.
02:14I'm wiser.
02:15This?
02:16Essentially a Google.
02:17Ask me anything.
02:18Turn off your Google.
02:20It can't be turned off.
02:21Okay, I don't like it.
02:22Get ready for the wildlife.
02:24Oh, my God.
02:25I did not know they were going to be here.
02:27What is on your lobe, Dan?
02:29It's an earring.
02:30Works for Harrison Ford.
02:31Harrison Ford?
02:32Glew up the Death Star in Frida Galaxy.
02:35What have you done, Dan?
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