- 7 hours ago
This video contains spoilers for Dead Space, Dead Space 2, Life is Strange, Life is Strange: Double Exposure, Kirby Star Allies and The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
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00:00have some fun pajama crew let's go all right there you little demons jules here for whatculture.com
00:06back again with another episode of the awesomely named and awfully hosted choose your own adventure
00:11the weekly medieval themed format where either crown jewels of whatculture.com ticket list chosen
00:15by you yes you the person who is at the time of recording unfortunately on a nine loss losing
00:23streak when it comes to warhammer now i know this might not mean a lot to many people out there
00:28except the die hard lovers of the game but this is a real problem for me because back in the
00:34day
00:34i actually said to my friends if i go on a 10 game losing streak i'll just quit it and
00:39they've kind
00:39of remembered that i said that must have said it with some conviction back in the day probably after
00:44a few pints and this is the problem i need you now to help will me over the finish line
00:49will me to
00:50victory even if you don't play the game just understand that i'm heavily invested into this
00:55hobby and i kind of don't want to give it up cheers i'm just going to feed on to all
00:59this
00:59positivity oh i can see why simon miller does this this is lovely this is very very good oh
01:04thank you very much yes you get to decide what list i dole out to you each and every week
01:08and this
01:09week we have none other to thank than
01:13chris breezy for their suggestion of video game protagonists that would have actually made
01:18better villains because here's the thing sometimes our heroes they go through quite a lot in the video
01:24games i mean likely they've had their family killed they've had their dog kicked and their nan
01:28insulted and that's just not on not that i was okay with the family being killed with the dog you
01:34know what i mean though and so sometimes there's really a question of why don't they also fall to
01:38the dark side because well sometimes they've got to take some pretty nefarious means to get their
01:43rewenge if you know what i'm saying so let's take a look at some examples where people came very very
01:48close to turning didn't but maybe in retrospect should have so with that in mind i'm jules this
01:54is whatculture.com and these are eight video game protagonists who would have made better villains
02:00oi you yes you do you want to stay safe and browse freely well nordvpn is running an unbelievable deal
02:08at the minute that gets you up to 76 off subscriptions and three months free just scan the qr code
02:14in this
02:15video or click the link below and it's all yours isaac clark from dead space now let's be real here
02:21if any one of us just saw dead space's isaac clark walking towards us i would have a bloody heart
02:26attack
02:27and then run a mile i mean his armored engineering suit complete with that creepy face helmet makes him
02:33look straight up like a slasher movie villain to say nothing of the fact that he rocks some seriously
02:38hefty weaponry like his trusty plasma cutter while also harboring quite the penchant for stomping the
02:44living hell out of anything into a bloody paste it'd be like hey isaac man um i know that you've
02:50just
02:50turned that guy's head into actual jam but um you do owe me for the uber ride that we
02:57we took to the world i'll catch you in a bit i'll i'll split us bye and then there's of
03:01course
03:02isaac's well noted psychological issues from the trauma of losing his girlfriend nicole to effectively
03:07developing space dementia from his contact with the marker now despite being the ass kicking hero of
03:14dead space and a character that millions love playing as isaac also ticks quite a lot of villain
03:20boxes as well and considering what he's been through who could actually blame him honestly a survival
03:26horror game where a crazed masked guy in a space suit is trying to rip you limb from limb
03:31actually sounds pretty damn awesome so yeah i'd be up for that with the dead space franchise basically
03:37being on ice for the foreseeable future why the hell not now let's talk about kratos from god of war
03:42now kratos is unquestionably one of the most badass video game protagonists in history but much like
03:48dead space's isaac you definitely wouldn't want to meet him down a dark alleyway just kind of like
03:53hey buddy yes oh uh do you mind if i just squeeze past you there i need to get to
04:00the bureau de change
04:00man i've got some euros i need to choose oh you know you've you've got this way you kind of
04:05just
04:05kind of just ripped my gut open with that blade as you just went that does not concern no no
04:10i won't
04:10no i won't complain about it and now your son's just flipping me the bird but even beyond his pant
04:16pissingly intimidating visage defined by his ape-like frame and piercing gaze kratos is one
04:23hell of a morally dubious character you see in the original greek era trilogy of games kratos's quest
04:30for vengeance against the gods left an ungodly amount of mortal bloodshed in his wake and sometimes
04:35entirely innocent folk whose only crime was standing in their way got the brunt of it consequences
04:40consequences it seems here and while kratos absolutely cleans up his act by the time he
04:45enters his dad era he's still a literal god capable of wielding the sort of power that nobody anywhere
04:52ever should have just to themselves in another game it'd be easy to picture kratos as the final boss of
04:58the thing but the the mythical villain that the plucky chosen one has to topple at the end of things
05:02against all of the odds rather than a literal god slaying goliath in his own right honestly the fact
05:08that many newer players find the original greek games tough to play because kratos is such a
05:12relentlessly bloodthirsty nasty piece of work kind of says it all okay let's have a chat about max from
05:20life is strange now max is of course the heroine from life is strange who manifests the ability to
05:25rewind time and endeavors to use it to resurrect her murdered friend chloe a decision that is ultimately
05:30left up to the player yet as likable as max is throughout the franchise it goes without saying that
05:36few people who develop the power to manipulate time in a world like this truly use it in a responsible
05:43way and more to the point the series's own rules frequently demonstrate that messing with time
05:49has unintended almost always negative consequences such that the very act of tampering with time is
05:56um less than ideal to put it bluntly and so max could so easily slip into the role of a
06:02time
06:03tinkering villain a possibility which was teased in last year's divisive sequel life is strange double
06:08exposure where max crosses paths with her own dubious future self there comes a point where
06:14screwing with the space-time continuum isn't just reckless or misguided and in the wake of another
06:20sufficiently traumatic event it would be so easy for max to become a temporal terrorist forever trying
06:27to bend the universe to her will no matter the mass casualty calamities that it causes see if i had
06:32the power of time travel i would uh use it very wisely indeed because i go back to the moment
06:38that i
06:38spotted big pitch what up for the first time and make that real life pigeon feel like he god damn
06:43mattered because he's gone on to influence so much here on what culture gaming and i don't think that
06:49they know i think that that pigeon just flew in there big fat pigeon that he is and flew off
06:54into the
06:54sunset i mean maybe the mysteries are best left unanswered but uh if you can hear this big pigeon
07:02real life big pitch not there's anything against you thank you that's all i do that's all i do
07:09i won't go back in time and shoot hitler in the face corvo from dishonored now dishonored's protagonist
07:14corvo is a freaking awesome because the game gives players so many potential abilities to make them an
07:20absolute menace his various supernatural powers include the ability to see foes through walls
07:26perform short distance teleportation possess other characters slow or freeze time entirely summon
07:33swarms of rats and turn dead enemies into ash which which kind of seems like a little bit of a
07:39party trick more than anything else when you put all the control rats teleportation oh i'm gonna cremate
07:46your body you're just providing a service at that point there apart from just making a bit of cash
07:50on the side okay okay okay and that's without even getting into corvo's actual arsenal of tangible
07:59weapons as well that is to say that corvo is basically a terrifying wraith of a human being capable of
08:04liberating folk from their lives with stealthy precision stealthy stealthy precision and all the while
08:11doing so while rocking a terrifying ass mask that looks more at home in a horror movie than anything
08:16else now while corvo's fear factor is dictated by each player's play style those who embrace a high
08:22chaos run will basically be playing corvo as a merchant of death to be feared by both folk good
08:28and bad imagine having to take him on the end boss of a horror game of needing to find a
08:35way to answer
08:35all of the stealth attacks and put him down for good that would basically like mr freeze the boss from
08:41arkham city multiplied by infinity and then added it with horror yeah boy okay it's time to gob off
08:50about kirby from the video games featuring kirby now don't let his adorable exterior and mere 20 inches
08:58of height fool you kirby is the sort of abomination with which lovecraftian nightmares are made i mean his
09:04suite of offensive and defensive abilities are as terrifying as they are mind-boggling he can change
09:10the shape of his body to fend off a foe inflate himself with air and fly and even open his
09:16mouth
09:16to swallow enemies whole in an attempt to satisfy his apparently insatiable appetite more to the
09:23point kirby can adopt the characteristics of anyone he devours and if this all isn't somehow quite
09:28terrifying yet he's also proven himself powerful enough to kill actual gods now if you read this
09:35description sight unseen you'd more likely assume kirby to be a big bad from a sci-fi horror film not
09:40one of nintendo's all-time most cute and popular mascot characters for as fun as kirby is to play as
09:46the experience of battling something so malleable and protean must be utterly oppressive and could
09:52you imagine my god i don't even really want to picture this could you imagine if kirby actually
09:57ate big pitch wait a minute why are you so pink oh you just got a sunburn what up man
10:04oh my god
10:06it's time to talk about everyone's favorite character now it's bean guy it's doom doom guy
10:13who we've uh re-attributed now to uh mr bean the bean slayer
10:22if you missed that episode don't worry you missed a fever dream now in the grand pantheon of first
10:29person shooter protagonists there are precious few who can hold a candle to be doom guy the ultra buff
10:36demon hunting space marine may be a man of few words but you sure as hell can hear him coming
10:42anytime he
10:42enters a room and liquidates everything in the vicinity and the current rebooted era of doom games
10:50absolutely lean to the idea that bean is such a fearsome legend at this point that many of the
10:56demons are straight up scared of him perceiving him as a demon himself could you imagine that you're
11:04just in actual hell where you've got people being tortured the screams of millions filling the air to
11:10the point where it's actually quite annoying give you a bit of tinnitus but they're just going like
11:14bloody hell there's one guy up there who's causing all of our armies to absolutely piss themselves
11:19well even the piss demon especially the piss demon they shat themselves as well bloody hell that is scary
11:25luckily i'm in admin though so i won't have to go there what's this conscription notice for everyone
11:30there and of course you'd be scared of him i mean the man is basically a walking tank and can
11:38somehow
11:38carry an entire arsenal's worth of weapons on his person and is able to effortlessly rip and tear
11:44demons in half with his bare hands everyone no matter what side you're on here should absolutely
11:51be scared of the bean slayer because just imagine how utterly terrifying it would have to have him
11:57on your tail the likes of bj blaskowitz samus aran and master chief yeah they would come and ruin your
12:03day and probably spit in your face for good measure but bean slayer they will end you with
12:09extreme prejudice okay time to talk about fellow baldy agent 47 from hitman now few would profess
12:15hitman's assassin protagonist agent 47 to be a card carrying hero i mean the man kills people for
12:20money for heaven's sake and even though many of his marks are ultimately awful human beings it is a
12:25stretch to call him anything more than an anti-hero and this is the thing agent 47 is so damn
12:30good at
12:30his job that it's easy to appreciate just how terrifying it would have to have him assigned
12:34to be your dirt nap with his basically supernatural ability to blend into just about any scenario even
12:40with a bloody barcode tattoo on his noggin logic be damned i guess and the endlessly creative means
12:45with which he can shuffle somebody off their mortal coil 47 is basically a force of nature unto himself
12:51he's tremendously fun to play as but he'd also make for an absolutely terrifying stalker antagonist
12:57it's like the creature from it follows meets the terminator meets it the clown because they love
13:05comedy and weird pratfalls and toilets dropping on your head that's horrifying and once 47 accepts a
13:10contract on you you'll never rest easy again but then again you probably won't be aware of it and you
13:15won't be alive for much longer after the fact so it'll be a short and terrifying existence for the
13:20moments that you do see him though link from the legend of zelda and finally we have the legend of
13:26zelda's link who is undeniably one of the most iconic video game heroes and say it with me kids
13:31of all time but oh just how things could be different with just a few tweaks you see link
13:39is silent and indomitable he won't ever stop until the day is one while also being aided by a vast
13:45array
13:46of weapons and abilities with new powers typically being introduced in each successive game now link's
13:51most notable abilities from past titles include time matter and weather manipulation the power
13:56to transform into a wolf and also gain superhuman strength now it is great for players trust me but
14:04just imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and all of this was coming at you you probably
14:08wouldn't
14:09be making cracks about his goofy green tunic now would you i mean you probably get one off just before
14:14as a wordless warrior who is seemingly unstoppable despite his small stature link has as much in
14:22common with kevin from sin city as he does a typical hero just with slightly less cannibalism
14:29obviously obviously obviously does he eat people let me know down in the comment section below
14:36and there we go my friends those were eight video game protagonists who would have made
14:40better villains i hope that you enjoyed that and let me know what you thought about it down in the
14:43comment section below and put your suggestions for next week's episode down there as well i love to
14:48read them all my friends but if you want to chat to me in the meantime you can go over
14:50to my social
14:51medias which are at retro j but the o is a zero on blue sky and instagram you can check
14:56out all the
14:56war i've been painting recently i'm in love with painting orcs at the moment i've got so many to go
15:01i've got 60 boys to paint but if you want to chat to my lovely and very patient editor si
15:09you can chat to
15:09here over on her social medias as well but before i go i just want to say one thing even
15:14though we
15:14spoke today about heroes who almost became villains and probably we're much better for it that they
15:19didn't let's talk about how we should also be kind to ourselves so we don't go out and make silly
15:24mistakes and choices in our lives just sit and think with things before you go out and start making
15:29actions based on them and also just do that from a place of love and respect for both yourself
15:35and the people that you're dealing with all right sometimes we can be very rash even because we can
15:39go out there and act without thinking about the repercussions of things that are going to go on
15:44but we just need to take a moment take a breath find that point of inner peace before we go
15:49out
15:50into the world and make those choices because trust me if you do and that you are kind to yourself
15:54you'll see that the world isn't against you as much as you may originally believe and you might be
15:59able to go out there and make better choices at the end of the day that is all i want
16:03for you
16:03to live a healthy and happy life big love to you my friend thank you very much for watching
16:08and i'll see you soon bye
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