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00:03From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.
00:10This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Linus.
00:30Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Desi Lydic. We've got so much to talk about tonight.
00:34J.D. Vance shares the secret to an unhappy marriage.
00:37Kristi Noem joins the Mile High Club.
00:39And if you think exercise is good for your mental health, then you haven't seen RFK Jr. exercise.
00:46So let's get into it with another installment of The Worst Wing.
00:56What a bunch of losers.
01:00Let's begin with Brendan Carr, FCC chairman and hairless Wolf Blitzer.
01:06He's in charge of magnifying all the ways Americans communicate, whether it be radio, television,
01:12or whatever you're watching me on right now.
01:14Probably an Instagram reel someone stole from TikTok.
01:17And he's got some exciting new ideas.
01:20The Federal Communications Commission is urging broadcasters to air more patriotic pro-America content.
01:26FCC chair Brendan Carr launched the voluntary Pledge America campaign Friday, which calls on stations
01:33to promote civil education, national pride, and shared history.
01:37This could be through the forms of history specials, daily Pledge of Allegiance recitals,
01:42the national anthem, or music from American composers like Sousa and Gershwin.
01:48Wow.
01:50They say TV's a dying medium, but wait till you tune in for our daily Pledge of Allegiance.
01:56Honey, did you watch the Pledge of Allegiance without me?
01:59No spoilers.
02:02Listen, if you want to make TV more patriotic, you don't need patriotic music.
02:06You need to figure out how to make traitors U.S. as good as traitors U.K.
02:11But you know what?
02:12In honor of America's birthday, we're willing to work with the administration to make TV
02:16just a little more patriotic.
02:18And in that spirit, let's get a little boost of patriotism with our very own Jordan Klepper.
02:23Yeah!
02:25Ooh!
02:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
02:29Oh, thank you, Jazzy, thank you!
02:31Yeah!
02:32Oh!
02:33Yeah!
02:34Yeah!
02:35Oh!
02:36Oh!
02:36Jazzy, Jazzy, this goes out to you, America!
02:39Ring, ring, ring, ring, remix!
02:44Yeah!
02:44Yeah!
02:48Okay, thank you.
02:49Ooh, ooh, ooh.
02:50That's very good.
02:51That's good.
02:53Jordan, that's...
02:53Thank you, Jordan.
02:54Not done yet.
02:54Thank you, Jordan.
02:55Not done.
02:56Not done.
02:57Okay.
03:03Now I'm done.
03:07Ooh, ooh.
03:08That was great.
03:09Thank you, Jordan.
03:10That was very American.
03:11Yeah, thank you.
03:12That's how the Founding Fathers would have celebrated if they were dope like me.
03:15Sure.
03:16Great.
03:16Jordan Klepper, everyone.
03:17Yeah.
03:22Nothing says I love America like a bugle exploding.
03:25Anyway, let's move on to RFK Jr., Secretary of Health and World's Most Patient Zero.
03:32After just one incredible year in charge of our nation's health, he's lowered our vaccination rates, boosted our measles outbreaks,
03:39and somehow infected the president with hand herpes.
03:41But he is just getting started.
03:45Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. teaming up with Kid Rock for what they're calling the Rock
03:51Out Workout.
04:04I have never seen a bigger gap between what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing.
04:10The music says the man, but the visuals say my doctor wants me to maintain my bone density.
04:17You might be wondering why are these two old men working out together in a swing or ski chalet, but
04:21honestly, would you rather they were working out in your gym with you?
04:27Don't worry about wiping down the machine.
04:29I welcome your probiotics.
04:34That even grossed me out.
04:35Point is, it's a very gross video, but could it get grosser?
04:48Wait, have I been using the sauna wrong?
04:52I've just been sitting there giving handjobs to strangers.
04:58I have so many questions.
05:01One, why is there an exercise bike in the sauna?
05:04Two, who are you flipping off?
05:07And three, how fast can I sew up my vagina?
05:11And RFK Jr. is doing all of this in jeans?
05:16I really hope you wash those afterwards.
05:24Oh, that is not what I meant.
05:27Oh my God, that water's like the Wuhan lab right now.
05:33It's a good thing he's not vaccinated, because he could have turned out weird.
05:37But, okay, anyway, let's stop.
05:39This is too gross.
05:40We're done.
05:40No more clips.
05:41One more clip.
05:51Okay, now this just looks like porn with the sex scenes cut out.
05:56Hello, pool boy.
05:58Can I offer you a glass of lukewarm milk?
06:01And now to the sauna, end of film.
06:04But if I can, if I can just be serious for a minute, the fact that a U.S. Cabinet
06:08Secretary
06:09is putting out slop like this is such a disgrace to both himself and to us as a nation.
06:17Jordan, I thought you were done.
06:20Oh, a patriot is never done!
06:23Woo!
06:27Look, I just thought things were getting a little bit too critical in here, if you catch
06:31my drift.
06:31Time to get those patriotic vibes back.
06:35America!
06:36Love him, we're leaving!
06:39Preach!
06:40Jordan, patriotism and criticism are not mutually exclusive.
06:44To love your country is to criticize it, to make it better for everyone.
06:48No, Desi, you don't criticize the ones you love.
06:50You praise them.
06:51You encourage them.
06:52You don't get mad when they spend five grand on DJ equipment.
06:55No, you, you applaud their bravery in finding a new passion at 46.
07:01You know, that's, that's the kind of support America needs right now.
07:05Words of affirmation, even if those words aren't true.
07:08Hit it!
07:10America!
07:10We won Vietnam!
07:14Okay, alright, fine.
07:16Forget it.
07:16Jordan Klepper for the last time, everyone.
07:24Let's move on.
07:26Let's move on to J.D. Vance, Vice President and Pillsbury Proud Boy.
07:31J.D. and his wife Usha Vance sat down with Lara Trump in a fun interview that was normal
07:37and relaxed, so let's see them be normal and relaxed.
07:39Well, um, J.D., I have to ask you.
07:46What the f*** are you laughing at?
07:49All she said was, I have to ask you.
07:51Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:52I love human interactions with normal humans.
07:57Sorry, I interrupted.
07:59What was the question?
08:00What is the best and worst dish that you ever cooked for your wife?
08:03So, if she's a vegetarian, I am not.
08:06I'm, like, thinking to myself, what does a vegetarian eat?
08:09Okay, vegetables, dairy, and bread.
08:11So I went to the grocery store.
08:13I got those crescent rolls that you can get that are very good.
08:17I rolled them out, like, into a pizza shape and put vegetables and ranch dressing on top
08:23and stuck it in the oven for 30 minutes.
08:27Veggies and ranch dressing baked on a crescent roll?
08:32And they say white people don't have culture.
08:38Personally, I do think that there's a hopeful message here for men.
08:41No matter who you are, there is a woman out there that will look at you and say,
08:45I guess this is the best I can do.
08:51But if I could just be serious for one moment,
08:54does someone who cooks ranch dressing have the judgment it takes
08:58to be one very irregular heartbeat away from the presidency?
09:01I mean, this raises some serious questions about...
09:06Jordan, come on, turn that off.
09:09No, no, no. You come on, Desi.
09:13The vibes in here are very, very negative right now.
09:17Ixnay. Ixnay on the idicism crate.
09:20I'm not even criticizing the government.
09:22I'm criticizing J.D. Vance's cooking.
09:24What's wrong with J.D. Vance's cooking, huh?
09:25I got some right here. Look at this, huh?
09:28Oh.
09:29Look at this good old-fashioned America pizza, J.D. Vance style, huh?
09:34Oh.
09:35Oh.
09:35No.
09:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:38Oh.
09:44Nope.
09:48That ranch is bubbling, huh?
09:51Oh.
09:53Can't wait to have some good old-fashioned American diarrhea, you know?
09:59Those colors do run.
10:03Goodbye, Jordan. Goodbye.
10:04Hi.
10:05Finally, let's move on to Kristi Noem, Secretary of Homeland Security
10:09and Spirit Halloween's number one customer.
10:12As head of DHS, Noem has a busy job starting wars in American cities,
10:16but somehow she seems to have found time for love.
10:20A Wall Street Journal investigation is raising new questions
10:22about Noem's close relationship with her unofficial number two, Corey Lewandowski.
10:26The pair, who are both married to other people, have publicly denied the reports of an affair,
10:32but people said they'd do little to hide their relationship inside the department.
10:41Guys, finally, this administration has a sex scandal involving consenting adults.
10:47We did it!
10:48USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
10:54But look, I know, I know it's a bit unseemly, but I try to stay out of people's personal business.
11:00I mean, it's not like Kristi and Corey are flying around on a taxpayer-funded plane.
11:05Lewandowski and Noem have lately been using a luxury 737 MAX jet
11:11with a private cabin in back for their travel around the country.
11:16Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski have had the taxpayers lease this jet for their use.
11:22Okay, so they're flying around on a taxpayer-funded f*** plane.
11:28How do they justify charging the country for their bang bus in the sky?
11:32On paper, they say they need this particular plane for, quote, immigrant deportation flights.
11:38Oh.
11:40Oh, yeah. I'm so sure this is the plane they're using to deport illegal immigrants.
11:46Hey, sit your ass down and put on these shackles.
11:49And here's your hot towel.
11:51And we have a selection of wines for your enjoyment.
11:56Can you imagine actually being deported on that plane?
11:59And the whole time you're hearing Corey and Kristi Noem grunting in the back?
12:04I'd be like, can this plane please hurry up and land in South Sudan already?
12:09By the way, it's not just the fancy plane that Noem is fussy about.
12:13During one official trip, people familiar with the incident say, quote,
12:17Noem had to switch planes after a maintenance issue was discovered,
12:21but her blanket wasn't moved to the second plane.
12:26Corey Lewandowski then fired a U.S. Coast Guard pilot after Noem's blanket was left behind.
12:36Wow. For a woman getting dicked down on the regular, she sure is tense.
12:43I mean, you fired the pilot because you forgot your blanket?
12:47That's not the pilot's job.
12:48His job is to circle the airport until everyone in the back has had time to climax.
12:54But I guess that's the end of that pilot's career.
12:56They eventually reinstated the pilot, according to the journal,
12:59because no one else was available to fly them home.
13:04Oh, my God. Could this get any dumber?
13:09Oh, God. The only way this could get any dumber is, I don't know,
13:13deporting 10 million people and then realizing that they were the ones who did all the hard jobs?
13:18And that's really what makes Kristi Noem so despicable.
13:21Because I... Oh, God damn it. Jordan! No. Uh-uh. Turn it off.
13:26Turn it off.
13:28What's the problem, Desi? Huh? Huh?
13:32Getting a little too America-loving in here for you?
13:35How is Camp Town Races America-loving?
13:38I'm running out of public domain songs, okay? But...
13:42At least I'm trying. You didn't even start the show off with the Pledge of Allegiance.
13:45I don't need to prove my patriotism by doing the Pledge of Allegiance. That's stupid.
13:50That's because you don't know it.
13:52Oh, of course I know it. I think you don't know it.
13:55No, I know it. I just want you to do it first to prove that you know it.
14:00Okay, fine. Fine. I pledge of allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
14:10A Jay-Z song is on?
14:13A Jay-Z song was on.
14:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:19It's a party in the USA. That's it. That's it.
14:28Are you kidding me?
14:30You nailed that.
14:33I know. I know. Jordan, you're right.
14:35Suck it, China.
14:36I know.
14:39Jordan Clever, everyone.
14:42When we come back, we find out how to have sex in space, so don't go away.
15:08Welcome back to The Daily Show.
15:10There are many challenges to space travel, but one is especially hard to solve.
15:15Michael Kosta has more.
15:17Saturn, Mars, your butthole.
15:21These planets could be our future homes once we destroy Earth.
15:26But in order to be a successful interplanetary species, we must first learn about this vital need.
15:33Sex.
15:34But not just boring, gravity-assisted sex.
15:38Does that feel good?
15:38I'm talking space.
15:41To understand the difference, I sat down with scientists Simon Dubay and Maria Santaguira, two sexy sexologists studying sex in
15:50space.
15:51Before we start having sex in space, let me go over my ground rules. I don't have any.
15:56We're not going to have sex in space.
15:58Wait, we're not going to have sex in space?
16:00Not today.
16:01So I guess I'll just ask you questions and listen.
16:04Why is sex in space important?
16:08Abstinence is not a viable solution if we intend to thrive and expand to the universe.
16:14The future of human civilization depends on sex in space because there's many existential threats to our civilization.
16:20Climate change, nuclear war, asteroids.
16:23In other words, in case shit like this happens, we'll need to smash in space to keep our species going.
16:30So, there have been no official reports of human sex in space.
16:34You're telling me no one's ever joined the Thousand Mile High Club, as far as you know?
16:37Or at least admitted to it.
16:38Well, send me up. I'm ready.
16:40When Costa's up there, it's not going to be,
16:42Houston, we have a problem.
16:44It's going to be, Houston, we got a boner.
16:48And since they have no record of sex outside our planet,
16:51they conduct studies in space-like environments here on Earth,
16:55minus the actual space part.
16:57But lots of questions remained unanswered,
16:59which is why I was chosen for this interview,
17:02because I'm not afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions.
17:05How do you initiate foreplay if your partner keeps floating away?
17:10How do you stinuate the G-spot in zero-G,
17:13and also just in non-zero-G, like on Earth?
17:16How do you have sex with aliens?
17:17Yeah, NASA can land on the moon,
17:19but what happens if a condom breaks in orbit?
17:22Let's talk jizz.
17:24Where does it go in space?
17:26It can go everywhere.
17:28It needs to be contained.
17:29So, there's the possibility of using condoms.
17:32Isn't the whole point reproduction up there?
17:34But people don't just have sex for reproduction.
17:37They also have sex for pleasure.
17:39This is what I tell my wife all the time.
17:41But how do you do the nasty outside our planet?
17:44One wrong thrust, and you're spat into the abyss
17:46like an out-of-control fidget spinner.
17:49Luckily, there's a solution.
17:51Oh, hey.
17:52These are sex suits? These look more like Dr. Evil suits.
17:55They are the two suit.
17:57This is the two suit?
17:58Yes.
17:58Talk me through space intimacy in a two suit.
18:02Step one, get consent.
18:04Simon, would you like to dock with me today?
18:06You have my enthusiastic consent.
18:08Okay.
18:08Step two, remove the front panel.
18:10Oh, my God.
18:12Nothing like the sweet, soothing sounds of Velcro
18:15to get one in the mood.
18:17Step three, attach to your partner's torso.
18:20Step four, have a good time.
18:23These sexy suits were cosmic thirst traps.
18:26Oh, my God, I'm feeling the energy already.
18:29I was so turned on that I had to try this two suit for myself
18:32and volunteer my skills for science.
18:36So step aside, Tom Hanks.
18:38You may have saved Apollo 13, but for the first time in recorded history,
18:43I'm going to have sex in a space simulator.
18:46One small ejaculation for man, one giant population of mini costas for mankind.
18:54Who's this lucky lady that's going to make history with me?
18:56And maybe make babies?
18:58Me, Judy.
19:00Judy?
19:01What about like a real female human?
19:04I'll take her. Come here.
19:06Come here, Judy.
19:08It's time for Costa to put the ass in astronaut.
19:14Oh, ho, ho, huh? Judy?
19:18Okay.
19:20Judy, how do you feel about chest hair?
19:24It's your preference?
19:25Awesome.
19:27I thought unhooking a bra was tough, huh?
19:29Ah!
19:31Judy!
19:33We learned that we could maybe do some modifications to the suit,
19:36add some handles.
19:37All right, Costa.
19:39You're going to put a condom on a banana.
19:41You got a bigger one?
19:43Okay, here we go.
19:45Holy sh...
19:46Okay.
19:47Here's the condom.
19:50Here's the banana.
19:52Ah!
19:53It's on!
19:56That's for science.
20:02We may need better candidates with stronger stomachs.
20:06You might also need more respectful individuals with a sense of ethics.
20:11I'm 69ing on the moon!
20:13The next steps will be to test some of these experiments in zero-G flights and orbital flights.
20:20I did it. Judy's probably pregnant. I put a condom on a banana and I feel good about...
20:25Oh, sorry.
20:29Next stop, space.
20:32I think I shit myself, too, a little bit.
20:37Thank you, Michael.
20:38When we come back, Pat Nalakshmi will be joining me on the show.
20:53Welcome back to The Gaming Show.
20:56My guest tonight is an Emmy-nominated host, executive producer, and the creator of the new CBS series, America's Culinary
21:03Cup.
21:04Okay, here's what's gonna happen next. All eight of you will have to cook again in another head-to-head
21:10battle.
21:12Win, and you earn your spot in America's Culinary Cup.
21:17Lose,
21:19and you're going home.
21:21I was super excited going up in that elevator earlier today, but now I'm just a ball of nervous energy.
21:28I did not want to go home on the first day.
21:31Please welcome Padma Lakshmi!
21:51Hi!
21:52Hi!
21:55What a great audience!
21:56I know, they're pretty good, right?
21:58Yeah, they make a girl feel good.
22:00Yeah!
22:01Well, you deserve it.
22:02We are so excited.
22:03I'm thrilled to have you here.
22:04Thank you so much for being here, and congratulations on the new show.
22:07I'm very excited.
22:08Yeah, you should be!
22:09I'm super excited.
22:10I didn't think I would go back to the genre.
22:13But then, you know, I got an offer I couldn't refuse, and that was to create something exactly how I
22:20wanted it.
22:21And as you can imagine, I had a few ideas about what I would and wouldn't do after so many
22:26years.
22:26As you should.
22:27As you should.
22:28How does it feel to have, objectively, the coolest job on the planet?
22:34I think your job is pretty cool.
22:36It feels great.
22:37Look, I'm lucky.
22:37I get to eat.
22:38I get to sit on my ass and talk about food, which I would do for free.
22:44You know?
22:45I have a cooking show, and I don't even have to cook.
22:47That's the beauty of the show.
22:50And like you say, you built this from the ground up.
22:52You created it.
22:53You're executive producing.
22:54You're hosting.
22:55What was it that you wanted to do differently this time?
22:59I just thought the genre was ready for a refresh.
23:02I mean, you don't really see in that clip because it's hard to explain the show in a little clip
23:06like that because it doesn't have a format.
23:09It has no format.
23:11So it's really hard to explain to people.
23:12But it is like live action sports.
23:15But instead of balls and bats, we have fire and knives.
23:18Right?
23:19Now you're talking.
23:20I'm your girl.
23:21I'm your girl for that.
23:22I'm your girl for that.
23:24I know what you're into now.
23:26Yeah.
23:27No, but like, okay, so it's basically getting rid of all of the obstacles and the tricks and all of
23:36that.
23:36Like in most reality shows, especially cooking shows, you throw obstacles at them.
23:40You give them shitty products or you make them fight for the oven or whatever.
23:45They're running around.
23:47No, I really wanted the best of the best.
23:50And I wanted it to be like the Olympics or the Wimbledon of cooking.
23:54Right?
23:54So I give everybody everything they need.
23:57There's every toy you can imagine.
23:59Each chef has their own station with six burners and oven underneath.
24:03They have every ingredient that is very, very high level restaurant ingredients.
24:09So they're not wanting for anything.
24:11I mean, the comparison that I kind of make is if you're going to go to Wimbledon and ask Serena
24:15Williams to come there,
24:16right?
24:17You're not going to give her a shitty racket.
24:19This is true.
24:20And you're not going to have her fight for that racket with her opponent.
24:23You're going to manicure that court, make sure everything is perfect because she really is the goat.
24:29So we have the finest chefs.
24:32Because also we're giving away a million bucks.
24:34Yeah.
24:35Yeah.
24:35The prize is not too shabby.
24:37That's never been done before.
24:38No, not even.
24:39I think half is what's the biggest so far.
24:42But yeah, we're giving away a million dollars because, you know, I didn't want to be the little poor sister
24:47on CBS.
24:48And so like the boys have a million dollars for their shows.
24:51So I wanted a million dollars for whoever won.
24:54And a million dollars brings a lot of people out of the woodwork.
24:57Oh, I bet.
24:58Yeah.
24:58And so even the set is designed differently.
25:01Like there's no big lights or, you know, neon or anything.
25:04It looks like a working high end kitchen.
25:07It's not even rectangle like most kitchens are rectilinear or like a proscenium stage.
25:13It doesn't look like a shiny floor game show.
25:15It is oval because people are more creative when there are rounder shapes, it turns out, and more focused.
25:22And so I did everything I could to support them.
25:25I mean, chefs have had a really hard time, you know, since pandemic.
25:29We've all seen the bear.
25:30We know.
25:30Yeah, exactly.
25:31Yes, it's very stressful.
25:33Exactly.
25:33So I wanted to do everything I could to give them everything they need to succeed.
25:38And so that's what we've done.
25:40Now, I don't want you to spoil anything, but do we have to give President Trump the cup at the
25:46end?
25:46No.
25:47Okay.
25:47All right.
25:48I hope not.
25:49No.
25:49You know, he has a way of doing that.
25:51Believe me.
25:51I know.
25:52It's going to be Trump's American culinary cup pretty soon, but I hope not.
25:56Don't say those words.
25:58Let's hope not.
25:58Give us something.
25:59Give us our cooking shows at least.
26:01No, no, no.
26:01I don't want that to happen.
26:03I was watching the clips that you put up and...
26:05Oh, yeah.
26:06Yeah.
26:07Well...
26:08There's so many reasons to hate J.D. Vance.
26:11I didn't think we needed a culinary one.
26:13And then he goes and puts in ranch dressing.
26:15But it's so bad.
26:17And also, he's married an Indian woman.
26:19So she comes from this very deep, vast culinary tradition, you know, and he's giving her...
26:25What was it?
26:26Ranch dressing.
26:27Ranch dressing.
26:29Baked in the oven on a crescent roll.
26:31Also, he's like, she's a vegetarian.
26:33She only eats bread, vegetables, and dairy.
26:36And apparently ranch dressing.
26:37You've been married to this person for over a decade, right?
26:41And we eat lots of things, right?
26:43Rice, lentils, beans, squash, all this stuff.
26:47It's like...
26:47But, you know, I mean, maybe he knows what she likes because she doesn't really have good taste.
26:51This is just...
27:01My job here is done.
27:04What is...
27:05Speaking of that, what's the worst thing that a partner has ever made for you?
27:09Um...
27:10It can't be worse than that.
27:12No.
27:13I would not let them back into my bed.
27:15Yeah.
27:16I would prefer they not cook, actually.
27:19Well, it wasn't really what they cooked.
27:21It was how they brought it to me in bed.
27:23Oh.
27:24They...
27:24Yeah.
27:25See, normally that sounds like a good thing.
27:27Right.
27:27Yeah.
27:27Everything's better in bed, right?
27:29Right.
27:29But they brought me a cup of tea.
27:31And my kitchen is downstairs.
27:32My bedroom is upstairs.
27:34And literally, I could...
27:35If they had committed a crime, I would have caught them.
27:37Because there was a trail of drops of tea all the way up to my bed.
27:43And then the next morning, I went downstairs.
27:45And it was sticky.
27:47There were drops of honey.
27:48And I'm...
27:49You can tell a lot about a chef by the way they cook and how clean they are.
27:53Uh-huh.
27:54But that's true of men, too.
27:55Oh.
27:56All right.
27:57I'm glad he's no longer in your life.
27:58Get him out of there.
27:59Yeah.
28:00He's not there anymore.
28:01Um...
28:03He's not.
28:03But you know who you are.
28:05You know who you are.
28:08As someone who's traveled the country and judged thousands of challenges,
28:14what do you think makes the quintessential American dish?
28:17It's a great question.
28:19So, none of the things we think of as an American dish are American.
28:23Not hot dogs, not hamburgers, not even apple pie.
28:26Okay, got it.
28:26You know how they say, like, as American as apple pie?
28:28Not one ingredient in apple pie is actually indigenous to North America.
28:32Not even the apples.
28:34Not the flour.
28:35Not the cinnamon.
28:36Nothing.
28:36Yes.
28:36But if you're talking about American food, you're talking about elk, venison, rabbit,
28:42as far as protein, beans, corn, squash, sumac.
28:46Right.
28:47All these wonderful things.
28:48And, you know, we ate all kinds of things before America was colonized.
28:54And we brought, you know, cattle and chicken and, you know, all that stuff.
28:58And they didn't eat pork, they didn't have lard, all these things.
29:01But they did have a lot of wonderful berries and, you know, depending on where you are in the country,
29:08different things.
29:08Right.
29:09What about beef tallow?
29:10RFK is big on beef tallow.
29:12It's obviously not working on his skin.
29:14He's not applying it topically.
29:16Because look at him.
29:17He looks like a leathery boot.
29:18Yeah.
29:19You know?
29:20He does.
29:20And why, why, why, why, why, why would you work out in jeans?
29:25That tight.
29:27That tight.
29:28And then why are you going in a tub in jeans?
29:30In jeans.
29:31They're tight enough.
29:33You don't need them wet.
29:34And then he walks around, shuffles around with wet jeans for the rest of the day.
29:38And then the milk.
29:39It's insane.
29:39The thing I want when I'm in a hot tub is like a cold glass of milk?
29:43Yeah.
29:43No.
29:44No.
29:45I am right there with you.
29:47I am right there.
29:47He's so gross too.
29:48I mean, we could go on all day about that.
29:51But I'm getting nauseous.
29:54Ginger, ginger's good for you.
29:55Ginger.
29:56Okay, thank you.
29:56I'll put some in my water.
30:00Put that over there.
30:02You're, so much of your life's work has been dedicated to living and celebrating and exploring
30:08the multicultural experience, the immigrant experience.
30:11You see what's happening in this country right now.
30:14Immigrants are very much under threat.
30:17How are you processing all of this right now, both personally and in terms of the work that
30:22you do?
30:22It's really difficult.
30:24I mean, I'm an American citizen and I have been for a long time.
30:27But you never know.
30:29They're rounding up and harassing American citizens too.
30:32It's a very scary time.
30:33And I just think it's ill-advised.
30:36Never mind the ethics of it or the morality of it.
30:38But it's actually stupid.
30:40Here's why.
30:41Every generation of immigrants has helped further the economy and the evolution of this country.
30:47This country, amongst all the countries in the world, is uniquely formed and a superpower
30:53because of immigrant input.
31:01And you see farmers crying in their fields who even voted for this asshole twice and are like,
31:09you know, I have no one to pick my carrots because they're too scared to come to work.
31:14Seriously right.
31:15I mean, I'm sorry about that.
31:16I don't want Monsanto to buy your family farm.
31:19But, you know, like that's what happens.
31:21We don't realize how much, I mean, the food system especially, but, you know, restaurants,
31:27agriculture, you know, moving that food and distributing it, all of that stuff.
31:32But the whole economy, name any sector of our culture, you know, health, education, sports,
31:39music, anything.
31:40What would it be without any influence of any immigrant?
31:44Work would stop.
31:45Yes.
31:45Work would stop completely.
31:47Our country would come to a standstill.
31:49That's right.
31:49And that's what they're going to realize.
31:51Who's going to do all this?
31:52That's right.
31:52That's exactly right.
31:54Um, I can't let you go without asking you something.
31:58And this is, forgive me for the hard-hitting question.
32:00Okay.
32:00All right.
32:01But you are a self-proclaimed bed eater.
32:05Oh, yes.
32:06And I myself love a good pizza in bed.
32:08I love anything in bed.
32:10Yeah.
32:11So I want to know, what is the weirdest thing that you've ever eaten in bed?
32:15And get your minds out of the gutter.
32:17This is not, um, this is not a sex question.
32:21Unless you want it to be.
32:22And then it can be.
32:26Um, the weirdest thing, the hardest thing to eat in bed, um...
32:34Oh, boy.
32:35Um, really is anything with a lot of crumbs, you know?
32:40Mm-hmm.
32:40So I constantly am dusting off cracker crumbs, cookie crumbs.
32:46Yes.
32:46All of that.
32:47Um, and then you try, I try not to drink red wine or eat pomegranate or blackberries or raspberries
32:54because they're staying.
32:55Yes.
32:55So I love frozen grapes, and I especially love frozen grapes in bed.
33:00Um, but you want to use the green seedless kind, not the red or black grapes, because
33:05those will stay in your sheets.
33:07Okay, are we writing this down?
33:08Are we writing...
33:09So your next cookbook will just be Meals in Bed.
33:13Yes.
33:13Exactly.
33:14Meals on a tray.
33:15Meals on a tray.
33:16Yeah.
33:16I love it.
33:17Thank you so much for being here.
33:18Nice to be here.
33:19Congratulations on everything.
33:20It's so good to meet you.
33:21America's Culinary Cup premieres March 4th on CBS.
33:25Padma Lakshmi!
33:27We're going to take a great one.
33:29We'll be right back after that.
33:40That's our show for tonight.
33:42Now here it is, your moment of death.
33:44Something the left absolutely hates happened this weekend.
33:48White people, not only that, but straight white men, winning at something, succeeding,
33:55winning a gold medal, while the left focused on the lack of diversity on the U.S. Olympic
34:00men's hockey team.
34:02Sorry.
34:03It's hard to know.
34:04It's hard to find.
34:04Don't tell me about the Scurs at the Woodside Cupホtom.
34:05It's hard to find out right now.
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