00:01You know, when I think of all the places I've played, I cannot say that I have ever been moved
00:08as I am moved by your company, madam.
00:13I am not crazy. I am simply entertaining my friends.
00:20Top of the evening to you, Dial-A-Priest. Who am I speaking to?
00:23It sure is funny what happens when you're all alone.
00:30Don't panic. Funny about your lover.
00:32He would say sell your wedding ring. And specifically, he would tell me to sell my engagement ring.
00:38Jen is cheap. He gave it to me out of love. He left because he couldn't handle it. But I
00:45can.
00:45Funny about your career. Do you know how long it takes you to get confident about what you can do?
00:54And the way things have turned out. God, I have sat there. I've tried to immerse myself in some kind
00:59of mind fluid that will black his face out for me.
01:02Funny how people are never around when you want them.
01:06God. Why have you forsaken me?
01:12And always around when you don't. It sure is funny.
01:17I can't quite take it anymore, you know?
01:21Funny as hell.
01:23Yes. I've been a bad girl.
01:27Whoopi Goldberg, the brilliant comedian, and Whoopi Goldberg, the powerful actress, are together at last.
01:35To give you the performance of a lifetime on the telephone.
01:39Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you.
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