00:00I really appreciate you guys coming to this new hour of material
00:02because I know it's a lot of God stuff and a lot of gay stuff
00:05and my agents are nervous
00:09I started doing stand-up in churches
00:11They called it a testimony, but I was getting laughed
00:15Easter's a better story than Christmas, in my opinion
00:17It's where all of our merch is from
00:19You've seen it
00:20Christmas is not as good a story
00:22It's just a long walk to a barn
00:25Jesus is barely in it
00:26He comes in right at the end
00:28He does zero magic
00:29Jesus is basically the post-credits scene in a Marvel movie
00:33It's trash
00:36If you have depression, you have a pretty complicated relationship with death
00:40You sort of look at death like it's the Phantom of the Opera
00:43You're like, oh, that's scary
00:45But then sometimes you're like, I mean, that side of his face is kind of hot
00:49Coming out as bisexual at 30 feels like saying to a waiter
00:52By the way, it's my birthday
00:54They're like, cool, sing to yourself
00:56You're a grown woman, so
00:58I started dating this girl who was so hot
01:01I was like, oh my God
01:02Am I Pete Davidson?
01:09When I started dating women
01:11It was the closest I'd come to feeling religious in a long time
01:13My friends would complain about their boyfriends and husbands
01:16And I was like
01:17Have you heard the good news?
01:22You don't have to live like this
01:26Oh my God
01:30I thought that's true
01:31I don't have to live like this
01:37I thought that meme was just like
01:41I remember that there came in time
01:43I loved that화
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