00:20Stand by, everybody, as we turn the calendar back 500 years and bring you the 123rd running
00:24of the Canterbury Tournament at Blunderstone Castle.
00:26The weather is clear, the turf is fast, and it looks as if all attendance records will
00:29be smashed to smithereens this afternoon.
00:31Yes, sirree.
00:37Red hot plum pudding, hot pudding, sir.
00:40Get in your plum glam there, folks.
00:42You can't get one night from another without a plum glam.
00:46To the winner of this world-famous tournament today will go riches, honor, and glory, and
00:50the frail, white, delicate hand of the lovely Princess Esmeralda.
00:53Fairest flower in all the kingdom.
00:58Yahoo!
01:00What a prize for stout-hearted knights to do and die for.
01:03And now we take you to the dressing room of the challenger, Sir Loinstake.
01:06Fourteen points of brawn, muscle, and courage.
01:08Blonde and blue-eyed, ready to pity strength against the champion for the heavyweight cast-iron
01:12slugging title of the British Empire.
01:17And here we have the little man who ever since early morning has been preparing his night
01:21for the big day.
01:22Introducing Cedric, the loyal and humble servant who dreams of some afternoon when he, too,
01:26will become a knight and face death for the smile of a lovely princess.
01:32But today, Cedric's duty is to see to it that his master is completely overhauled.
01:35Valves ground, new piston rings, brakes relined, body simonized, and a complete change of
01:39oil.
01:56The big moment is drawing close now.
01:57The crowd is on his toes and yelling for action.
02:00And we go into final preparations for the big event.
02:02The all-important last-minute touches that may very well snatch victory from defeat.
02:08Uh-oh, hurry, Cedric, hurry!
02:19Get rid of it, stupid, anywhere, under the rug.
02:22You've no time to lose.
02:23Before you can say Jack Robinson, the two sturdy gladiators will be out there.
02:26Hurry up, Cedric.
02:27Slugging it out for the championship.
02:29The betting is four to one in favor of the champion,
02:31but the challenger is going in there with all the confidence in the world.
02:33And there may be an upset if Sir Loinsteak can turn the tables.
02:35It's only a matter of seconds now before the two armor-flated contestants be face-to-face
02:39on the field of honor.
02:40The last-minute trouble.
02:40But wait, folks.
02:41Something's gone wrong here.
02:43Sir Loinsteak is out.
02:44Completely out.
02:45A cold night.
02:46There's been a slip-up, and it looks as though the tournament may be off.
02:48But there's still Cedric.
02:50Look here, Cedric.
02:51You're in the armor now.
02:52Fate has smiled upon you.
02:53Lucky stiff.
02:54This is your big chance.
02:56Just imagine you, Cedric, can be a hero and win the glory, the riches, and the honor.
02:59To say nothing of the fair hand of the Princess Esmeralda.
03:03Think of it, Cedric.
03:04The chance of a lifetime.
03:07And now, coming out on the field, that knight of knights, Circumference, the champion.
03:15Old ironpants, they call him.
03:17Never lost his seat in combat.
03:18But many a gallant knight has gone down to defeat, neath the hoops of his trusty war-horse.
03:24And here we have the challenger.
03:26It's the loyal Cedric, doubling for Sir Loinsteak, willing to do or die for his master.
03:30Or could it be the fair Princess Esmeralda?
03:39Looks like love at first sight.
03:41With an inspiration like this, how could anyone face?
03:48Easy there, Cedric. Easy does it.
03:50And now the knights and horses are in the starting gate.
03:52They're all ready.
03:53Battle stations, visors down, lances set.
03:56Any minute now.
03:57Although circumference the champion is the odds-on favorite, ladies and gentlemen.
04:00Anything can happen out here this afternoon.
04:01And probably will.
04:03The crowd is waiting for the starting signal.
04:05It's just a matter of seconds now.
04:06The fans are on their toes.
04:07And here they go!
04:09The champion is going to the front.
04:11And here comes Cedric, the challenger.
04:12Both boys are moving into the furious pace.
04:14It's going to be ghastly.
04:15They're moving closer now.
04:16Cedric is on the rail.
04:17Here's the champion.
04:18They're coming up to the line of scrimmage.
04:27It's all over.
04:28It's all over.
04:29With circumference, the winner, and still champion.
04:33Bravo!
04:34Bravo!
04:36Boo!
04:38Boo!
04:41Boo!
04:41But just a minute, folks.
04:42Hold your horses.
04:42What's this?
04:43Yes, it is.
04:44Believe it or not, little old Cedric is in there again.
04:47What a fighting heart.
04:49And now the champion sets himself for another charge.
04:51There's the wind-up, the pitch, and the champion connects.
04:54It's a line drive going over third base.
04:56No, a long foul ball into the left field reaches.
04:59But little Cedric is right back in there again.
05:01It's a hot night we have out there this afternoon.
05:05But the champion is on his toes, too.
05:07And that's a mighty fistful of sword he has there.
05:09And this time he means business.
05:10He's going in for the kill.
05:11Poor little old Cedric.
05:13This really looks like the beginning of the end, folks.
05:14No night living could stand up under this powerhouse fence.
05:17It may be the kid's last ride, but he's right in there pitching.
05:20And he connects.
05:21What a sock this little fella packs.
05:24And the champ rocks back on his heels.
05:26Little Cedric sure sprung a surprise that time.
05:30But the champion is splashing back now with the right and the left.
05:32The right and the left.
05:33He's making every blow count.
05:34One, two, three, bow!
05:36No holds barred in this battle.
05:40There's a smashing right, and Cedric loses his grip for a moment.
05:45But now the champion takes one on the noggin.
05:50The champ is taking a little more time now.
05:52He's lost a little bit of his confidence.
05:53This challenger is no green buff.
05:55He moves in and lets fly with the whirlwind attack.
05:57A left, a right, a left, a right, right, left, right, left.
06:00The champ is throwing everything he's got into the Cedric now.
06:02What's holding this kid up?
06:03He can't take this bombardment much longer.
06:05Why doesn't somebody stop this order?
06:07It just don't seem human.
06:08It's unbearable.
06:10There ought to be a law.
06:11Why, the whole suit will have to be scrapped, including Cedric.
06:20But wait, the champion seems to be tiring.
06:22Those sledgehammer blows are losing some of their steam.
06:25The champ is breathing hard now.
06:27Then again, we take you back inside with Cedric.
06:29Plenty cool, this boy.
06:30But wait, something's happening out there.
06:32Let's have a look-see.
06:33Could it be that old iron pants is beginning to weaken?
06:36Yes, he reels in his saddle.
06:37And it looks like he's going down.
06:39Yes, he's down, he's down!
06:40And that wraps it up, folks.
06:42The winner and new champion, little old Cedric.
06:46Well, that's the way it goes, folks.
06:48Jump one day, champ the next.
06:50What a day for a night.
06:51And what a night for a day.
