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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ha!
00:00:24Gotcha!
00:00:26Pete?
00:00:28Craig, where are you guys?
00:00:58Yeah.
00:01:00Yeah.
00:01:02Yeah.
00:01:04Yeah.
00:01:06Yeah.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:10Yeah.
00:01:12Yeah.
00:01:14Yeah.
00:01:16Yeah.
00:01:18Yeah.
00:01:20Yeah.
00:01:22Mom? What is this? My birthday? Where is everybody?
00:01:52Ratio, breakfast coming right up. How are we this glorious morning?
00:02:16Doing great. Good to hear that. What did you say?
00:02:20I said we're great. I love you, sis.
00:02:24What is going on? What do you want from me?
00:02:28We just really appreciate everything you do around here.
00:02:30And rarely say thanks, so thanks. And from now on, we're going to be the big happy family you always wanted.
00:02:34Did you get the breakfast I made you, honey?
00:02:36Yeah, Mom, it was great. But why is everybody so happy?
00:02:40I thought we were on the verge of losing the ranch and all its properties to the banks.
00:02:43Not anymore. We've just won the lottery.
00:02:46One billion dollars. We're rich, Jules.
00:02:49And now we get to keep the ranch, pay off all the debts, bring in more horses, and live happily ever after.
00:02:55And it's all because of you.
00:02:57Wait, you mean I picked the winning numbers?
00:02:59Yes, you did.
00:03:00We're so proud of you, honey.
00:03:02This, this is like a dream come true.
00:03:06That's because it is.
00:03:08A dream come true?
00:03:09No, just a dream. Your dream proves size.
00:03:12My dream, but I don't get it.
00:03:22Gotcha again, sucka.
00:03:23I fell for the oldest trick in the book.
00:03:25Get out of my room!
00:03:27What are you, like seven?
00:03:29Try putting a teen at the end of that.
00:03:30Yeah, and we'll always be older than you.
00:03:32Stronger, too.
00:03:33And prettier.
00:03:34Well, if you're so big and strong, why don't you help me with the chores once in a while?
00:03:38What's the point?
00:03:39We're gonna be out of here in like a week.
00:03:40Mom hasn't sold the place yet.
00:03:42She's signing it away today.
00:03:43Mr. Beatle will be here this afternoon.
00:03:45Yeah, don't call mom, mom.
00:03:46She's our mom, not yours.
00:03:47Yeah, you're just like an illegal adopted alien or something.
00:03:51The term is stepdaughter.
00:03:52I think that only works when your father is married to our mother.
00:03:55But after he died, the term becomes human parasite.
00:03:57Sounds about right, doesn't it?
00:03:58Pretty accurate to me.
00:03:59This was my dad's ranch before you ever moved in.
00:04:02I grew up here.
00:04:03This is my home.
00:04:04So you're the intruders.
00:04:05Not for long.
00:04:07Just get out before I...
00:04:09Phone with the mouth.
00:04:10Oh, too late.
00:04:11I wish this was a dream.
00:04:28Hey, good morning Juliet.
00:04:47Take whatever you'd like.
00:04:48I didn't have time to cook.
00:04:50As usual.
00:04:51And it's Jules, remember?
00:04:53Juliet is a much prettier name.
00:04:55Only if you have the Romeo to go with it.
00:04:57Yeah.
00:04:59It'll happen someday.
00:05:00You'll see.
00:05:01Well, at least I still have Horatio.
00:05:04Your dad was my Romeo.
00:05:07And boy, could I use him now.
00:05:10How bad is it?
00:05:11On a scale from one to ten, I would need triple digits.
00:05:16This is my... our home.
00:05:19You can't sew.
00:05:20I'll try my best.
00:05:22Mr. Beadle is coming today to review our options.
00:05:25But you're not signing anything, right?
00:05:26I love this place, Juliet.
00:05:28Sorry.
00:05:29Jules.
00:05:30I don't want to move back to the city.
00:05:32I mean, whatever we can do.
00:05:33But you can't.
00:05:34Well, what happened to Horatio?
00:05:35Look, your dad made a wonderful life here for us.
00:05:39And for Horatio.
00:05:40So we're gonna do whatever we can.
00:05:42Win the lottery?
00:05:43I tried that.
00:05:45There is a very happy family celebrating in Ohio today.
00:05:49It's all over the news.
00:05:51I mean, what we really need now is a miracle.
00:05:55Miracles are possible if you put your mind to it.
00:05:58Okay.
00:05:59Whatever you say.
00:06:00Why don't you go check with your brothers?
00:06:02Brainstorm with them.
00:06:03See if they can think of something.
00:06:05They could think that would be a miracle.
00:06:07What was that?
00:06:08Will do.
00:06:09I'm sure they're full of wonderful ideas.
00:06:11Yes.
00:06:25Okay.
00:06:26Now watch this and respond truthfully.
00:06:27It's very important.
00:06:28I got it.
00:06:29I got it.
00:06:30Get on with it.
00:06:36Well, what do you think?
00:06:37I think I like the second one best.
00:06:39Okay.
00:06:40What are you doing?
00:06:43Craig's practicing his poses.
00:06:45Yeah.
00:06:46When we move back to the city, I have to be ready.
00:06:48My career awaits.
00:06:49Is what?
00:06:50A mime?
00:06:51Male model.
00:06:52You don't think I have what it takes.
00:06:54Well, look at this.
00:06:59Yeah, yeah.
00:07:00Laugh it up.
00:07:01When we become rich and famous, we'll see who's laughing last.
00:07:03Oh, you're gonna be a model too?
00:07:04No.
00:07:05I'm the businessman.
00:07:06Pete's going to be my manager.
00:07:07Yeah, I'll be handling all the deals because we're great with money.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:10Prove it.
00:07:11Do two tens for a five.
00:07:12Absolutely.
00:07:20Thanks.
00:07:21Uh, Pete.
00:07:22I don't think that works out quite.
00:07:23Wait, what was that?
00:07:24Two tens for a five?
00:07:25What, do you think I'm an idiot?
00:07:26No.
00:07:27Okay.
00:07:28Here's back your five.
00:07:29Not giving back two tens.
00:07:33That's better.
00:07:34Now get out of here and do your chores.
00:07:35Try to pull a fast wheel on me.
00:07:37See why I'm handling all your business?
00:07:39So you don't make those kind of mistakes.
00:07:42What, you think that's funny?
00:07:44Here's two tens.
00:07:45Give me a five, quick.
00:07:46She did it to me.
00:07:53And you did it to me too.
00:07:55Hey!
00:07:56Yeah, we're going.
00:07:57I've got two of these.
00:07:58I'll be running away.
00:07:59We'll be running away all the time.
00:08:00¶¶
00:08:29Wish it were that easy with Mr. Beetle.
00:08:32Hey, Rachel. How's your leg holding up?
00:08:35Still sore, huh?
00:08:37Well, don't worry. When it gets better, we could go out riding. Just like at good old times.
00:08:42Sound good, Philip?
00:08:48Rachel, what are we gonna do?
00:08:50I can't leave this place, and I could never lose you. We've grown up together.
00:08:54You're a pony. It was my eighth birthday, remember?
00:09:00I got a new mom, two new brothers, and you the same year.
00:09:03Pete and Craig weren't that bad back then. Not until Dad died.
00:09:09I miss him so much.
00:09:12And Kim means well, but she can't run this place on her own.
00:09:15And Pete and Craig are no help whatsoever.
00:09:18You know, what we need to do is come up with a plan, Horatio.
00:09:22A way to make a lot of money really fast.
00:09:25Any suggestions?
00:09:27You don't say.
00:09:30Well, when I can learn how to speak horse, we'll continue this conversation, okay?
00:09:35Well, maybe it won't be that bad.
00:09:37Perhaps Mr. Beetle will buy the place, fix it up, and let us stay here to run it.
00:09:42It's a possibility, right?
00:09:44Yeah.
00:09:45Get the Sin back!
00:10:47Now, Wesley, when we get there, I want you to sit back and not say a word.
00:11:00I want your father to work his magic, and one day soon, this ranch will be one of the biggest
00:11:03malls in the county.
00:11:04Another mall?
00:11:05Great.
00:11:06It is great.
00:11:07You know how much money American malls make?
00:11:09No.
00:11:10That's why you're here, Socrates.
00:11:11You'll have to learn.
00:11:12Maybe you're running my empire two decades from now.
00:11:14I need you to know what it takes from the ground up.
00:11:41When you look out there, what do you see?
00:12:01Trees, flowing streams, vistas straight out of postcards.
00:12:05I see waste.
00:12:07Nothing but waste.
00:12:08All this unused land, taking them space from buildings, factories, and apartment stores.
00:12:13It's enough to make you sick.
00:12:15It's unnatural.
00:12:16It's nature, Dad.
00:12:17It's as natural as it gets.
00:12:19Ah, nature's overrated.
00:12:21If people like nature so much, they'd live in it.
00:12:23You see people living in those trees?
00:12:24I don't think so.
00:12:25Animals live there, Dad.
00:12:27Ah, that's right.
00:12:28But if animals were around the world, it'd be complete chaos, disorganization.
00:12:32The whole financial system would collapse.
00:12:35People wouldn't pay attention to politicians.
00:12:36We wouldn't have any different lawyers.
00:12:38And then, then what would we do?
00:12:40Celebrate?
00:12:41No joke about that, Wes.
00:12:43Not even jest.
00:12:44It's a sign of weakness.
00:12:48Signs up here make any sense.
00:12:50That's what it's supposed to mean.
00:12:52Deer crossing.
00:12:53And why do I care about that?
00:12:54Because it's a deer crossing!
00:13:20What's up, guys?
00:13:46You think you're really funny, don't you?
00:13:49No.
00:13:50I think I'm moderately funny from time to time.
00:13:52I want my money back.
00:13:53I gave you your money back.
00:13:55Not enough of it.
00:13:56Okay, fine.
00:13:58What if I say you could win it back?
00:13:59How?
00:14:00Just pick a number between 1 and 10.
00:14:02If I don't guess it right, I'll give you back double your bet.
00:14:05Okay.
00:14:05$20.
00:14:07Okay.
00:14:08Pick a number.
00:14:08Okay.
00:14:18I guess.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:21Is the number between 1 and 3?
00:14:22No.
00:14:23Between 5 and 7?
00:14:24No.
00:14:25Between 8 and 10?
00:14:26Yeah.
00:14:27The number's 9.
00:14:27Better luck next time.
00:14:34Wait, not so fast.
00:14:36Now you're picking up between 1 through 10.
00:14:38Fine.
00:14:39Number 5.
00:14:43Are you kidding me?
00:14:45You're going to let her get away with that?
00:14:47Come back here, Jules.
00:14:48Come back here, Jules.
00:14:48Don't get me away, okay?
00:15:15Okay.
00:15:18She's got to be around here somewhere.
00:15:30You are so not going to be my agent.
00:15:32Fine.
00:15:32I wouldn't make any money with you anyways.
00:15:34Your poses are stupid.
00:15:36You're stupid?
00:15:37Okay, smart guy.
00:15:38What's 412 times 97 divided by 7?
00:15:43I don't know.
00:15:44You see?
00:15:45You don't know.
00:15:46Okay, so what is it?
00:15:47Oh, no.
00:15:47I was asking you.
00:15:49You don't know the answer either, do you?
00:15:50I'm trying to change the subject.
00:15:51I made my point.
00:15:52No, you didn't.
00:15:52You would have to know the answer if you got...
00:15:53152.
00:15:55You're just making up numbers now, aren't you?
00:15:57I am not.
00:15:57Part 2.
00:15:58That was a close one.
00:16:09I know, I know.
00:16:11It was a dumb move.
00:16:13Someday, someone will lock some sense into me.
00:16:15But until then, I come out on top.
00:16:18Oh.
00:16:19Oh.
00:16:20Oh.
00:16:20Oh.
00:16:21Oh.
00:16:26Oh.
00:16:27Mr. Beetle, what happened to your car?
00:16:51Oh, you won't believe it.
00:16:52We were passing one of those yellow signs,
00:16:54the one with the deer on it.
00:16:55A deer crossing sign.
00:16:56And, uh, suddenly out of nowhere,
00:16:58a deer runs right in front of the car.
00:16:59Oh, my gosh. Are you both okay?
00:17:01Yeah, we're okay. Deer's okay.
00:17:02We swerved and hit a tree.
00:17:04But you tell me, why would they put a deer crossing sign
00:17:06right in the middle of the road?
00:17:07Wouldn't it be smarter to put it in a safer location
00:17:09where there's no people or passing cars?
00:17:12I don't understand what you mean.
00:17:14Well, those signs, they're a hazard to everyone's health.
00:17:16I mean, it's letting the deer know that it's okay to cross there.
00:17:18You know, someone should write a letter to the local authorities,
00:17:20and that would fix the problem.
00:17:22Dad, the signs are there for the motorists
00:17:24to warn them about the deer.
00:17:25Oh, that's absurd.
00:17:26How do we expect the deer not to cross the road
00:17:28when we're just given permission to do so?
00:17:30But if that's the case,
00:17:31we should set up a separate set of signs for the deer.
00:17:34Maybe one with a speeding car on it
00:17:35so they know when they can cross.
00:17:37I'll say this is why I don't deal in the countryside.
00:17:39There's nothing like dumb deer here.
00:17:40Is he serious?
00:17:48Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Beetle?
00:17:50Something to calm your nerves?
00:17:51Oh, a gin and tonic would be lovely.
00:17:53Thanks, Miss Bell.
00:17:55Kim, please.
00:17:57Kim?
00:17:57That's short for Kimberly, isn't it?
00:17:59Yes, it is.
00:18:00It's a lovely name.
00:18:02My first ex-wife's name was Bev.
00:18:03Short for Beverly.
00:18:04No, short for beverage.
00:18:05Her parents were real heavy drinkers.
00:18:09That was a joke, no?
00:18:11Call them never jokes.
00:18:13It's a sign of weakness.
00:18:14The boy's right.
00:18:15Okay, let's get down to the contracts here.
00:18:17The boy has a name, by the way.
00:18:20I'm Wesley.
00:18:21Short for nothing.
00:18:22Nice to meet you, Wesley.
00:18:23I'm sorry.
00:18:23I thought I made it.
00:18:24Well, let's not get bogged down with details.
00:18:26Kimberly, you're in real financial trouble here.
00:18:29The bank is going to foreclose on the property by the end of the week,
00:18:31selling off the land acre by acre.
00:18:33Now, I see tremendous potential here,
00:18:34and I'm willing to buy your entire ranch
00:18:36and even help you with your move back to normal civilization.
00:18:39If you look over the contracts,
00:18:40you see that my offer is more than generous.
00:18:58Yeah, it's lovely.
00:19:01I can see that you've really put a lot of time and effort into this.
00:19:04Well, we'd have to remove some trees and some bushes and some wildlife,
00:19:07but this place has real potential.
00:19:09It's all about vision.
00:19:11That's how you get ahead, son.
00:19:12You see something on your path, and you mow it down.
00:19:13It's like the deer.
00:19:16You know, this is a lot to go into.
00:19:18Why don't I give you guys a tour of the property,
00:19:21and then you can see, you know, how we operate here.
00:19:23My father's allergic to fresh air.
00:19:25Oh, no, don't be silly.
00:19:26That was a one-time thing.
00:19:27And the doctor said it was more about the pollen of the air than the air itself.
00:19:31We'd be delighted to get the tour of the land, Kimberly.
00:19:36I think about where I'm going to put that ten-story parking garage.
00:19:40Okay, well, let me grab my allergy pills, sinus medication, eye drops,
00:19:43and sinus relief medication, and I'll be all set.
00:19:46Where's your bathroom?
00:19:46Yeah, it's right over there.
00:19:48Okay, thanks.
00:19:50Your father has a lot of health issues, huh?
00:19:53Well, like mental issues.
00:19:55You see, taking care of business, he's a pro.
00:19:56Taking care of himself is a whole nother matter.
00:19:59He was better when mom was around,
00:20:00but after she left, he's been a bit obsessed with work.
00:20:05I have a daughter about your age who's very much like that.
00:20:08Not with work, specifically,
00:20:10but she can have a one-track mind when it comes to her obsession.
00:20:14What is it?
00:20:15Oh, it's not an it.
00:20:15It's a who.
00:20:16And it goes by the name of Horatio.
00:20:18Juliette.
00:20:19Juliette.
00:20:20Juliet, Juliet, are you okay?
00:20:50Juliet, speak to me.
00:20:52I'm fine.
00:20:55Ow.
00:20:56Who hit me?
00:20:58The lucky horseshoe above my stable fell and knocked you out.
00:21:02Lucky by whose definition?
00:21:03I don't know.
00:21:04Your father hung it up there, and he's always just said that it was lucky.
00:21:08Remember?
00:21:08Yeah, I do.
00:21:10I'm surprised you remember.
00:21:10You were just a pony.
00:21:12What is it?
00:21:13You're talking.
00:21:14So, what's wrong with that?
00:21:16When did you start talking?
00:21:17I've always talked to you.
00:21:19Every morning when you feed me and say hi, I say,
00:21:22Hello, Juliet, and how are you today?
00:21:24And then after I eat, I thank you.
00:21:27Yeah, but I never understood you before.
00:21:29Oh, really?
00:21:30Well, I always had the impression you understood me quite well.
00:21:32This is impossible.
00:21:34You mean I've been speaking all this time, and you haven't understood a word?
00:21:38Boy, do I feel like an idiot.
00:21:39Okay, this is not happening.
00:21:41I'm dreaming.
00:21:42Or I'm hallucinating.
00:21:44I was hit on the head with this, and now I'm hearing voices.
00:21:47What kind of voices?
00:21:49Horse voices.
00:21:50Do they sound like me?
00:21:51Yeah, they sound exactly like...
00:21:52Oh, I need medical attention.
00:21:54I hope you feel better soon.
00:21:56Oh, and I think my leg is improving, by the way.
00:21:58Oh, and I think my leg is improving, by the way.
00:22:28Oh, and I think my leg is improving.
00:22:58Oh, and I think my leg is improving.
00:23:28I moved here eight years ago with my boys after I married Ryan he's really the one who worked the
00:23:56land and built all this with his daughter Juliet my stepdaughter I've tried my best to keep it going
00:24:03but it's really my late husband who had the green thumb green thumb well was it infected is that
00:24:10what killed him again not a joke no I'm sorry Kimberly nature's not really my forte there's
00:24:17just so many things alive here like this tree it's alive isn't it yep it just grows right out
00:24:25of the ground and you don't find that disturbing dad doesn't trust anything that isn't man-made
00:24:30what about water don't drink it it rust pipes and fish go to the bathroom in it W.C. Fields right
00:24:38now that's an intelligent man he was a comedian dad no I don't think he was who is Juliet now
00:24:46Juliet this is mr. beetle and his son Wesley huh Wes is fine my father doesn't shake hands how how are
00:24:54you I'm fine I'm good why what have you heard there's there's nothing wrong with me Mr.
00:25:00Beetle is interested in developing the property so I was just showing them around how's Horatio
00:25:04doing this leg isn't proving not that he told me that or anything I just noticed when I was checking
00:25:08him out who is Horatio he's Juliet's favorite horse they're best friends grow up together talk to each
00:25:14other no we don't I mean we're not that close a horse is a horse of course of course and no one can talk
00:25:21to a horse of course that is of course unless the horse I'm sorry you just remind me of an old
00:25:26television show well I wanted to bring them over to the stables no no no no I mean no you don't
00:25:33want to go in there stables are a mess there's hay everywhere and smells like horse poop oh well then
00:25:38I'll pass it that doesn't sound like a real good environment for my sinuses maybe you could bring
00:25:42Horatio up to the corral because I'd really like to show mr. beetle the advantages to running a
00:25:47successful operation as opposed to a new shopping mall yeah Horatio's not quite himself today I
00:25:55thought you said he was feeling better I'd love to meet him horses are awesome you really think so
00:26:02yeah okay I'll go get him can can I come oh no I'll do it Horatio gets a little nervous around people he
00:26:12doesn't know huh since when did you start to love horses since I left the city and discovered the
00:26:22wonders of nature away from you fly spawn it's a bee mr. beetle see I think it flew right out of you
00:26:33tried to kill me
00:26:42ratio I'm taking you to the corral and you are not to speak to me because you're a horse and I'm a
00:27:04human yeah absolutely good no not good I didn't hear that I said absolutely no you didn't oh did I
00:27:14mispronounce it I was just telling you I got what you were saying yeah but you shouldn't you shouldn't
00:27:19get what I'm saying then speak French why because I don't understand French it's official I'm losing
00:27:25my mind why because you're having a conversation with a talking horse yeah well I think it's a good
00:27:31thing I like being able to communicate yeah well not when we're on the verge of losing the ranch
00:27:35what are you saying no you don't understand I mean what do you mean by that there's this really rich
00:27:42guy who wants to buy the ranch and turn it into a shopping center so unless we can convince him that
00:27:47this place is worth keeping it the way it is we're done for aha a brilliant idea yes well that's what we
00:27:54need a brilliant idea yeah no kidding this ranch hasn't made money in almost a year no one runs out the
00:28:00cabin so how can we prove that this place can be profitable again would you like me to speak
00:28:04with him you think he's gonna talk to a talking horse no what we need is something special something
00:28:10like a talking horse I got it well how about a talking pig I remember you telling me about that
00:28:18movie years ago with that talking pig and there was the other one about the spider web and the pig
00:28:21humans seem to love pigs no just forget about the pig idea you're a talking horse yeah I thought we
00:28:27already established that well you're the one who's gonna save this ranch how my leg is still pretty
00:28:33sore I don't think I'll be able to win any jumping competitions for a while you don't have to
00:28:37compete you are one of a kind you're a talking a horse
00:28:40you
00:28:45you
00:28:47you
00:28:49you
00:28:51you
00:28:53you
00:28:55you
00:28:57you
00:28:59Stop that. I'm going to be a male model, not you.
00:29:15If you can do it, I can do it better.
00:29:17Oh yeah? Try this one for size.
00:29:24Are you guys playing charades?
00:29:26Who are you?
00:29:28Yeah, these are our woods.
00:29:29Oh, you must be Pete and Craig. My name's Wes. My father's thinking of buying your property.
00:29:34So you're like the really, really rich kid, huh?
00:29:36Yeah. I've got a money tree going in my backyard, but I think I like yours better.
00:29:40So you have, like, money on you?
00:29:43I've got a few bills. Why?
00:29:45You a gambler man, Wes?
00:29:46On occasion.
00:29:47But I bet you $20. If you pick a number from 1 through 10, I can guess it.
00:29:52Okay.
00:29:53You got one?
00:29:54Yes.
00:29:57Number seven.
00:29:58Number six. Nice try, but you were close.
00:30:01I can't believe you.
00:30:02Why doesn't it work when I do it?
00:30:04Thanks, guys.
00:30:05Is the corral this way?
00:30:06Wait a minute. Give him a chance to win back that money.
00:30:08Yeah, give me a chance that you want a serious beating.
00:30:10Okay. Tell you what.
00:30:12I'll bet you $50 that you guys aren't here.
00:30:15You're going to bet us that we're not here.
00:30:16And I'll prove it. Deal.
00:30:19You're not in Mexico, right?
00:30:21No.
00:30:22And you're not in Detroit.
00:30:23No way.
00:30:24And you're not in England.
00:30:25Right.
00:30:26So if you're not in Mexico, you're not in Detroit, and you're not in England, you must be someplace else.
00:30:31That's right. We must be someplace else.
00:30:33And if you're someplace else, you certainly can't be here.
00:30:35Naturally, if we're someplace else, we can't possibly be here.
00:31:05You see, we were trying to create a family attraction where children and adults could commune with nature.
00:31:14That doesn't sound very healthy.
00:31:16Oh, no. It is. It's very relaxing.
00:31:18You see, people build up a lot of stress in their day-to-day daily grind.
00:31:22And they keep it right here.
00:31:24Ow! What did you just do, woman?
00:31:26It was the biggest knot I've ever felt. You've got to have that looked at by somebody.
00:31:29I see all the top doctors in the city.
00:31:31Well, a doctor can't do anything for that. You need to have a good body massage.
00:31:35Buy someone who knows what she's doing.
00:31:37Are you qualified to give that kind of diagnosis?
00:31:38Yes. I was a masseuse for 20 years. That's how I met my husband. He said I had magic fingers.
00:31:47Speaking of magical, I'd like you all to meet Horatio. A very magical horse.
00:31:54He's a beauty.
00:31:56Yes, yes. That's very nice. But let's go back to the house and discuss the contract, shall we?
00:31:59Oh, no. Mr. Beatle, come closer. I really want you to see this.
00:32:02You're not afraid of a little horse, are you?
00:32:04You call that creature little?
00:32:09Yours, money.
00:32:11Boys, boys, behave. We have guests.
00:32:14Okay, Jules, what did you want to show us? Did you teach Horatio a new trick?
00:32:17She's wonderful with animals.
00:32:18Have I ever. Horatio, why don't you say hi to this nice gentleman and introduce yourself?
00:32:27Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Horatio. I'm a horse,
00:32:32if you haven't already guessed by my appearance. I enjoy long walks in the woods, hay is my favorite
00:32:37food, and I was considering taking up tap dancing, but unfortunately, I have two left feet.
00:32:42Hey, that was pretty good.
00:32:45Pretty good? Are you kidding me? I mean, maybe it wasn't the best joke in the world,
00:32:50but it was told by a talking horse. A talking horse? Are you crazy?
00:32:54Did you not all hear Horatio just speak?
00:32:57Yes.
00:32:58And?
00:32:59Yes, we did not. Just all hear Horatio speak.
00:33:02He just kind of grunted and snorted like he always does.
00:33:05But he looks great, Jules. You've done a wonderful job with him. You didn't hear him either?
00:33:08Say something else.
00:33:16Something else?
00:33:17No, tell another joke.
00:33:18So this horse walks into a bar, and then the bartender asks the horse, why the long face? Get it?
00:33:26You get it? Long face, horse, horses have long faces. It's like a pun. I don't think they got it.
00:33:33You want me to try another one? Hey, how long are a horse's legs?
00:33:37Long enough to touch the ground.
00:33:40Jules, you want to take him back to the stable?
00:33:42Wow, this is a tough crowd.
00:33:44I don't believe this. He's talking, guys. He's telling stand-up jokes.
00:33:48What if I sit down and tell him? Would that make a difference?
00:33:51Mr. Beatle, let's go look at another part of the farm. Come on.
00:33:54If you insist.
00:33:56We didn't even have to make a fool out of you this time.
00:33:59You did it all by yourself.
00:34:03Don't be upset.
00:34:05I'm losing my mind.
00:34:07No, you're not. They're just too stupid to hear me.
00:34:10Well, that's easy for you to say.
00:34:12I'm sorry. I was just trying to help.
00:34:13Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you.
00:34:14She was talking to me.
00:34:16No, he doesn't know that.
00:34:17You're talking to the horse, aren't you?
00:34:19See? He got it.
00:34:20That's right.
00:34:22And you can hear the horse talking back to you?
00:34:24Should I answer that one?
00:34:25No.
00:34:26So you can't hear the horse?
00:34:27Yes, she can.
00:34:29No, I can't.
00:34:31Who are you talking to?
00:34:32You? I'm talking to you.
00:34:34And I am only talking to you from now on.
00:34:36Okay.
00:34:37Um, you want me to help you bring Horatio back to the stables?
00:34:40Sure.
00:34:41So what?
00:34:42Now you're giving me the silent treatment?
00:34:44What did I do?
00:34:45What is it?
00:34:46Nothing.
00:34:47I didn't hear anything, and I didn't say anything.
00:34:48Uh, can I say something?
00:34:50Didn't hear that either.
00:34:51Okay.
00:34:53Do not hear any finally.
00:34:55Okay.
00:35:00Bye.
00:35:01Bye.
00:35:02Bye.
00:35:08Bye.
00:35:09A.
00:35:14Bye.
00:35:17Bye.
00:35:18Bye.
00:35:19Bye.
00:35:20Bye.
00:35:21Bye.
00:35:21Bye.
00:37:21Very, very nice.
00:37:23Is your daughter seeing a doctor?
00:37:25Because I know a team of a wonderful therapist in the city.
00:37:28Mr. Beetle, Juliet is a great girl.
00:37:29It was really hard for her losing her father.
00:37:32And now the thought of losing this place?
00:37:34I mean, you can imagine the stress she's under.
00:37:36She loves it here.
00:37:37We all do.
00:37:38I'm beginning to get the impression that you don't want to sell me this land.
00:37:41Miss Bell, if I'm wasting my time...
00:37:42I never said that.
00:37:44Just let me show you the inside of the cabin.
00:37:46I'm just going to check it out first.
00:37:47Craig, Pete, can you entertain Mr. Beetle for a few minutes?
00:37:50I'll be right back.
00:37:55You know, we don't all love it here.
00:37:57No.
00:37:57We want to move back to the city and become famous models.
00:38:00Yeah, don't worry.
00:38:00Mom will sell.
00:38:01She'll definitely sell.
00:38:03Well, it's good to know, because I want to pay a lot of money for it.
00:38:06We like money.
00:38:07Yeah, big fans of money.
00:38:09You seem like smart boys.
00:38:10And I wish you could teach my son the same appreciation.
00:38:13He has this absurd notion that money can be used to make the world a better place.
00:38:17Protect the environment, help the poor.
00:38:19I don't know where he gets those ideas from.
00:38:21Probably his mother.
00:38:22Bet you won't see me throwing my money away like that.
00:38:25Mr. Beetle, do you have two tens for a five?
00:38:30I do indeed.
00:38:32Here is ten for you, and ten for you.
00:38:35Okay, you can come in now.
00:38:37Charming boys you have here.
00:38:58Now, I know you can still hear me.
00:39:00Look, I'll get new material.
00:39:01My next performance will have them rolling in the aisles.
00:39:04I promise.
00:39:04I really do love it up here.
00:39:06We don't have anything like this in the city.
00:39:08I don't know why you guys want to turn this place into a shopping mall.
00:39:11We don't.
00:39:12Then why are you selling this place to my father?
00:39:13Well, we can't afford to keep it, but, you know, we don't want anyone to tear it down.
00:39:19I think we could build this ranch up into a real resort.
00:39:22A lot of animals and more horses.
00:39:24That would be cool.
00:39:25Wouldn't it?
00:39:27Wouldn't what?
00:39:29Wouldn't that be cool?
00:39:30Oh, I think so, but good luck convincing my father.
00:39:32He hates anything that has to do with the outdoors.
00:39:35It's like he's got some kind of phobia for all things organic.
00:39:37Well, that doesn't sound natural.
00:39:39Will you quit it?
00:39:40You're not funny.
00:39:41I wasn't trying to be funny.
00:39:42I know.
00:39:44I'm sorry.
00:39:45I could be funny.
00:39:46Want to hear a joke?
00:39:47I'm all ears.
00:39:49I didn't do anything yet.
00:39:51I know.
00:39:52I was just imagining how funny your punchline would be once you finish telling.
00:39:58Continue.
00:40:00Why couldn't the pony sing?
00:40:01Because his voice was a little hoarse.
00:40:04I haven't reached the punchline yet.
00:40:06I'm sorry.
00:40:06I already know that one.
00:40:08Oh.
00:40:08Okay.
00:40:10How about this one?
00:40:11A cowboy rode off down the road on Wednesday and came back three days later on Wednesday
00:40:15How's this possible?
00:40:17His horse was named Wednesday.
00:40:19Oh, come on.
00:40:20You know that one too?
00:40:21And Wednesday had two little pony cousins named Monday and Tuesday.
00:40:25Between the three of them, it was a short week.
00:40:29I give up.
00:40:30No, Wes.
00:40:30I'm sorry.
00:40:31I wasn't laughing at you.
00:40:32I know.
00:40:32That's the problem.
00:40:33Will you let him finish his jokes and quit interrupting?
00:40:36I thought we were a good team.
00:40:38It's all about timing, you know.
00:40:39Just shut your trap before you ruin everything.
00:40:41You can hear your ratio, can't you?
00:40:43That wasn't an act.
00:40:44Nope.
00:40:45Nope.
00:40:46That would be crazy.
00:40:47And then they would put me in a sane asylum for being crazy.
00:40:50Humans cannot hear animals speaking to them.
00:40:52Well, what about Dr. Doolittle?
00:40:53He was a fictional character in a children's book.
00:40:56He just spoke to you again, didn't he?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00But only I can hear him.
00:41:04They're going to lock me up and throw away the key.
00:41:07Hey, if they do that, I'll bail you out.
00:41:09Get it?
00:41:10Hay?
00:41:11Bail?
00:41:12Bail of hay?
00:41:13Bail you out?
00:41:14No, no, no.
00:41:15Don't cry.
00:41:16It'll be all right.
00:41:18His jokes are so bad.
00:41:20It's painful.
00:41:21Sorry.
00:41:22I'm afraid you're saddled with me.
00:41:23I'm only with you.
00:41:34I'm sorry.
00:41:35Yes.
00:41:35Do you?
00:41:37I'm sorry.
00:41:38All right.
00:41:40So as you can see it's a perfect place for a vacation, it's a great area to raise a
00:42:09family as well. Yeah it's very homely. Homely? Homey, I meant homey. It feels like home. Well that's because it is one. It's our home. Once you sign these documents it's going to be a great place for thousands of shoppers too. Have you seen anything I've shown you Mr. Beetle? Of course Kimberly. My eyes have been wide open. Except when that buzzing flying creature was trying to kill me. Yeah I don't think they were. And you can call me Mrs. Bell.
00:42:39Is there a problem? In a syllable? Yes. We don't want to leave our home.
00:42:47Ms. Bell, the bank's going to take it away from you. And there's the problem. All I'm trying to do is help. No. All you're trying to do is help yourself by building another useless mall and make millions of dollars while destroying everything that's right in the world.
00:43:03And what my ass brought that on? You know, you may be a whiz at business and making money but you don't have a clue about people's feelings. Your son was right. My son? And what did he tell you? About the same thing that you. You're so busy, so wrapped up in your work that you don't even know how to take care of yourself. Let alone what's
00:43:09best for the planet. My son's future is all laid out for her, Ms. Bell. And he will never go hungry. And I can't even know how to take care of yourself. Let alone what's best for the planet. My son's future is all laid out for her, Ms. Bell. And he will never go hungry. And I can't even know how to take care of yourself.
00:43:31Let alone what's best for the planet. My son's future is all laid out for her, Ms. Bell. And he will never go hungry. And I can't say the same for your kids if you don't sign these documents. Which, by the way, is no longer on the table.
00:43:41Really? Yeah, I know. It's on the floor. And if it's for my health, I have the best doctors in the world. I have the best help. I have the best of everything. And there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that's wrong with me.
00:43:52What is it? My back. My back. I got a bad back. It's locked up. Here, grab my back. Those are the briefcase. Oh, my God, these? They're useless. They just mask the pain. They don't do anything to solve the problem. Here, let me help you to the couch.
00:44:14Let me help you to the couch. Oh, my gosh. Your back is totally out of whack. I can help you with this.
00:44:23I need Dr. Hurt. Who? My back doctor. Your back doctor is named Dr. Hurt? What's your dentist? Dr. Decay?
00:44:31Oh, Ms. Bell, I don't appreciate your sense of humor. A man in my position. Yeah, which is almost horizontal.
00:44:37That may be. That doesn't mean I have to put up with your flippant attitude towards my current situation.
00:44:41You know, I'm almost going to enjoy this. Hang on. It's going to hurt a little.
00:45:11I'm always going to enjoy this.
00:45:14Why are you sleeping enthusiast?
00:45:15I'm happy to make fun because I don't want to try.
00:45:16I'm happy to make fun infected with Linda Gol above him.
00:45:25I have to take a little...
00:47:30I was hiding from Pete and Craig because I kind of tricked them out of some money earlier,
00:47:34but that is only because they torture me every single morning of my life.
00:47:39Like, one morning, they moved my alarm clock just out of reach and then tied my foot to the bedpost.
00:47:44So when I got up to turn it off...
00:47:48I got up to turn it off.
00:47:54I got up to turn it off.
00:47:56I got up to turn it off.
00:48:00And most recently, they poured shaving cream in my hand while I was sleeping.
00:48:27I tickled my nose and I hit myself and...
00:48:30You never told me about that one.
00:48:31Happened this morning.
00:48:34And I really don't feel too bad about taking their money.
00:48:36So, skipping ahead, you say you were hiding from your brothers and...
00:48:39And I was in Horatio's stable and they didn't find me and they finally left.
00:48:43I got out, closed the door and...
00:48:45And the horseshoe fell and knocked her out cold.
00:48:47Exactly.
00:48:48I think I missed a section there.
00:48:50Right.
00:48:50You can't hear him.
00:48:52Stop chiming in, Horatio.
00:48:54So, this horseshoe is above Horatio's stable.
00:48:58So, when I closed the door, it fell, clung to me in the head,
00:49:01and when I woke up, I could hear Horatio speaking to me.
00:49:04Okay, so maybe we're dealing with a magical explanation rather than a rational one,
00:49:09but at least we have the cause.
00:49:11It is supposed to be a lucky horseshoe.
00:49:13That's true.
00:49:16Wait.
00:49:16Maybe that's it.
00:49:18Since I'm the only one who got hit in the head,
00:49:20maybe I'm the only one who could hear Horatio speaking.
00:49:22I guess that's one theory.
00:49:24Well, we can test it.
00:49:25How?
00:49:25Hit him with the horseshoe and see what happens.
00:49:28That's not a bad idea.
00:49:30What's not a bad idea?
00:49:31Horatio suggested that if I hit you with the horseshoe,
00:49:34maybe you'll be able to hear him too.
00:49:35That's a horrible idea.
00:49:36Why?
00:49:37It sounds like it involves pain.
00:49:38No, we don't have to hit you that hard.
00:49:40How about a little tap on the head?
00:49:42Really?
00:49:44Okay, but be gentle.
00:49:48Ow!
00:49:49Can you hear me?
00:49:51Did he say anything?
00:49:53What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
00:49:55Let me try again.
00:49:56Hit him again.
00:49:57Ow!
00:49:58Can you hear me now?
00:49:59Anything?
00:50:00I hear slight ringing.
00:50:01Sounds like we're on the right track.
00:50:03Hit him again, harder!
00:50:04Ow!
00:50:05How about now?
00:50:06Can you hear him now?
00:50:07I can't hear anything now.
00:50:09Once more.
00:50:11Ow!
00:50:12Oh, God.
00:50:15Wes?
00:50:15Wes, speak to me.
00:50:17I knocked him out.
00:50:18Well, that's what happened to you.
00:50:20When he wakes up, hopefully he'll be able to understand me.
00:50:22Yes, if he wakes up.
00:50:24I don't believe this.
00:50:25The first guy I actually like.
00:50:27And I kill him.
00:50:29Okay.
00:50:30Wes, wake up.
00:50:32Hi.
00:50:32Up and at him.
00:50:38Time to wake up.
00:50:38Let's go.
00:50:42Hello, Wes.
00:50:43Nice day, isn't it?
00:50:45Yes, Mr. Tree.
00:50:46It's very nice.
00:50:47I see you're branching out all over.
00:50:53Hey!
00:50:54Watch where you're stepping, buddy.
00:50:55Sorry, blades of grass.
00:50:56I didn't see you growing there.
00:51:03Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
00:51:04Hey, I heard that.
00:51:05You want to know what I heard?
00:51:07Juliet is looking for you, and she has something to say.
00:51:10Horatio said you have something to tell me.
00:51:22What is it?
00:51:24Yuck!
00:51:26That did the trick.
00:51:28I think I might have hit you a little too hard.
00:51:30Sorry.
00:51:31You think?
00:51:31Because I don't even believe my brain's functioning anymore.
00:51:33Just drop the horseshoe, okay?
00:51:35And not on my head this time.
00:51:37Sorry.
00:51:38It was a dumb move.
00:51:39I should have never listened to a talking horse.
00:51:43Are you okay?
00:51:45I feel like I have a hangover, and I don't even drink.
00:51:47Well, you know what they say.
00:51:48You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him wink.
00:51:51It's drink, not wink.
00:51:53Oh, right.
00:51:55That makes sense.
00:51:56Why would you bring a horse to water to make him wink?
00:51:58That's just silly.
00:51:59Besides, I wink all the time.
00:52:00Well, I drink too, so I don't know what the point is actually saying all that.
00:52:04It's a metaphor.
00:52:05It means that everyone's supposed to take control of their own lives.
00:52:07You can't force a person to do something they don't want to do.
00:52:10Which is probably why hitting someone in the head with a horseshoe isn't going to suddenly
00:52:13make them believe in something like...
00:52:14Being able to hear a talking horse?
00:52:16Exactly.
00:52:18Wes, who are you having this conversation with?
00:52:21I was just responding to Harish.
00:52:23Yo.
00:52:24Why are you staring at me like that?
00:52:25He's...
00:52:26He's talking.
00:52:27Oh, not again.
00:52:29Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:52:59Oh, my gosh, I feel so good.
00:53:11What did you do?
00:53:12Just a little alignment to get you back on track, so to speak.
00:53:16This is amazing.
00:53:18I haven't felt this good since Bev.
00:53:20What?
00:53:23Well, my wife used to give me back massages when we were together.
00:53:26And I do miss that.
00:53:29Yeah, well, a man can miss a lot of things when he doesn't take a moment to stop and look around.
00:53:36Drink up.
00:53:37What is this?
00:53:38It's good for you. Drink it.
00:53:40I'm allergic to a lot of things. I'm not supposed to have a lot of sugar or starch.
00:53:43Dairy's out of the question. It's pretty much just fruits, so...
00:53:46Don't be such a baby and drink this stuff.
00:53:50If your doctors told you that living was bad for your health,
00:53:53that you would seriously consider trying not to do it.
00:53:56Wow, I can feel my nasal passages starting to open up.
00:53:58Yeah, it's my own special herbal brand. It's much better than that stuff you get on the shelves.
00:54:05I can breathe. I can actually breathe.
00:54:07Yeah.
00:54:08And breathing is good for you. I'm sure your doctors would not even disagree with that.
00:54:13You know, I used to own a home in the countryside.
00:54:15Had a lot of good times there.
00:54:16Well, Wes was barely three when we moved to the city, so he might not remember much of it.
00:54:22That's a shame.
00:54:23Why did you leave?
00:54:26Well, I'm closer to work.
00:54:28And then when Bev left me, I just had too many memories there, so we sold the place.
00:54:33Yeah.
00:54:34I guess it was time.
00:54:35Yeah, well, that's what I'm good at, right? Buying and selling. Not so much on the long-term investment.
00:54:43Ask my ex-wife's.
00:54:45Yeah, that was Ryan's speciality. Building and developing. But he was also good at nurturing the kids.
00:54:51You're good at that too, Miss Bell.
00:54:54Kim.
00:54:55Monty.
00:54:56By the way, do you have any more of this wonderful tea?
00:55:00Yeah, I do. And I'll take another look at those contracts, too.
00:55:08Okay.
00:55:12Continue on your way, Spawn.
00:55:26Wesley?
00:55:46Les?
00:55:48Now what are we going to do?
00:55:50I didn't do anything to him. He's just horsing around.
00:55:53Uh, no. He's passed out.
00:55:55Well, get the pail. Splash him.
00:55:58It's empty.
00:55:59I don't want to drown the poor guy.
00:56:01So, he just fell asleep?
00:56:03Pretty much.
00:56:04Then why don't you try what they do in all those stories?
00:56:07What stories?
00:56:08You know, the ones you used to read to me when we were growing up.
00:56:10About the prince and the princess.
00:56:12Which one?
00:56:13I don't know. It doesn't matter.
00:56:15They all end up the same way.
00:56:17The princess kisses the prince and he wakes up.
00:56:19No. The prince is always the one to kiss the princess.
00:56:22Not the other way around. Then she wakes up.
00:56:23It's never the other way around?
00:56:25No. Not unless the prince is a frog or some other type of animal.
00:56:29Then he turns into a prince.
00:56:31Is that why you were always kissing me when we were younger?
00:56:34It's worth a try.
00:56:35Well then, isn't it worth a shot?
00:56:38Come on. Be the first. Start a fashion.
00:56:41Your first kiss. I'm so proud.
00:56:44I wish I had a camera.
00:56:45Don't watch me.
00:56:54Oh, Juliet. Juliet.
00:57:02Is that all you can say?
00:57:04Wherefore art thou, Juliet?
00:57:06Sitting next to a pile of manure, if you must know.
00:57:09I had the strangest dream.
00:57:11That you were talking with Horatio?
00:57:12Yeah.
00:57:13But then I had another dream where I thought I woke up and...
00:57:16I was still talking to you?
00:57:19How you doing, Romeo?
00:57:22Is this like a dream within a dream within a nightmare?
00:57:25Depends.
00:57:26Did you think I kissed you in the dream or the nightmare?
00:57:29You kissed me?
00:57:30For real?
00:57:31Cool.
00:57:32So, that means this is...
00:57:35Really happening.
00:57:36A horse is talking to me.
00:57:38A horse is actually speaking.
00:57:39To me.
00:57:40He can speak to me, too.
00:57:41Jules, when the world finds out about this...
00:57:43Yeah, that's kind of the hard part.
00:57:44Remember?
00:57:45Oh, yeah.
00:57:46We can't exactly go around bashing people in the head with that thing.
00:57:49Some might get upset.
00:57:50And who knows how much luck is left in that horseshoe.
00:57:52There may be a limited supply.
00:57:54We have to find my dad.
00:57:55Yeah, and convince my mom not to sell.
00:57:57Not when there are miracles happening here.
00:57:59You're right.
00:58:00This discovery is a lot more important than another dumb shopping mall.
00:58:03Bring the horseshoe.
00:58:04Maybe if we both explain it to them.
00:58:06We'll be back.
00:58:08Not so fast.
00:58:09Nobody's leaving here until we settle a certain amount of debt.
00:58:12Yeah, you won some money from us earlier.
00:58:13And we want a rematch with a game you can't possibly cheat at.
00:58:16Cards.
00:58:17Really?
00:58:18You don't think people cheat at cards?
00:58:19Not the way we play.
00:58:30You don't think people cheat at times.
00:58:49OK.
00:58:49You've done a really beautiful job here, Kim.
00:59:02Did you decorate yourself?
00:59:05Mostly.
00:59:06Interior design has always been a hobby of mine.
00:59:08I'd say it's more than a hobby.
00:59:10Magical figures, incredible tea, great taste.
00:59:13Could be the perfect woman.
00:59:15You cook.
00:59:17Okay, so nobody's perfect.
00:59:18But I do make a mean lasagna.
00:59:23You know, you were right about this.
00:59:25This is an amazing deal.
00:59:27I would be crazy not to take it.
00:59:29Plus, it'll be a big help next year when the boys go to college with their tuition.
00:59:33Well, feel free to have your lawyers look it over.
00:59:35Oh, they already have.
00:59:37Yeah, I emailed them the advance copy you sent me.
00:59:40And they basically said I would be a fool not to take the deal.
00:59:43Oh.
00:59:45So?
00:59:46Well, I think I have proven to you that I am not a fool.
00:59:50No, no, you definitely are not.
00:59:54Okay, so I guess there is just one more question, Monty.
00:59:58Yes?
00:59:59Do you have a pen?
01:00:00Thanks.
01:00:01Thanks.
01:00:05¶¶
01:00:34But you don't understand. We have to stop Mom from selling the land.
01:00:41There are magical properties in this horseshoe.
01:00:44She's right, and if we can figure out a way to capitalize on it, we can save your ranch.
01:00:47No, you don't understand. We don't want to save the ranch.
01:00:50Pete and I are going to move back to the city and become world-famous posers.
01:00:53Yeah, you guys are posers, all right.
01:00:55So, we want Mom to sell, and there's no getting in the way of that.
01:00:58Now, we have some money to win back.
01:00:59This time, it's on our rules.
01:01:01Number two tens four five, number word games.
01:01:04It's time we're playing cards. These cards never lie.
01:01:07I don't know how to play cards.
01:01:09Well, it's very easy. I'll pick a card from the deck.
01:01:11Bet you $10 versus everything you stole from us today.
01:01:14What's the game?
01:01:15You just have to guess the card. Simple, right?
01:01:19So, what card am I holding?
01:01:21Jewels.
01:01:22Four of spades.
01:01:24Four of spades?
01:01:26What?
01:01:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:01:28Best two out of three.
01:01:32Now, what card am I holding?
01:01:33Ten of diamonds.
01:01:35Ten of diamonds.
01:01:37What the?
01:01:38Oh, come on. Seriously?
01:01:40Can you see what card I'm holding?
01:01:41No.
01:01:45It's impossible.
01:01:45Well, only pretty boy can answer this time.
01:01:48So, what card am I holding, pretty boy?
01:01:51King of hearts.
01:01:53Oh, I don't know.
01:01:54I'm just going to have to take a wild guess, king of hearts.
01:01:56What the?
01:02:06Pete, what are you doing?
01:02:08I don't know.
01:02:08They guessed the cards.
01:02:09I don't know how.
01:02:10I can't explain it.
01:02:14That was actually kind of fun.
01:02:16That was actually kind of cheating, but you're right.
01:02:17It was fun.
01:02:17Shoot.
01:02:18I forgot the horseshoe.
01:02:19We'll just have to convince them about it.
01:02:20I just hope we're not too late.
01:02:22I can't believe you gave them all our money.
01:02:24They guessed the card.
01:02:25What was I supposed to do?
01:02:25Get our money back.
01:02:26That was the plan, idiot.
01:02:27Don't call me an idiot, moron.
01:02:28Don't call me a moron, idiot.
01:02:30How did that feel?
01:02:31Give me that.
01:02:34Did I knock some cysts into you?
01:02:36Yeah, let me give you back the change.
01:02:39Oh, did that hurt?
01:02:40Let me divert the pain.
01:02:44Kids, remember, don't try this at home.
01:02:48If I could just chime in here for the record,
01:02:51I think you're both idiots.
01:02:52Who asked you?
01:02:54It is I, Horatio.
01:02:56King of all horses, ruler of the stable, drinker from the sacred bucket,
01:03:01and eater of the holy hay and foolish young boys.
01:03:05Those who toy with my magical horseshoe must endure my wrath.
01:03:09Please, no.
01:03:10We didn't mean it.
01:03:11Listen to me now or perish.
01:03:14What breed of horse can jump higher than a house?
01:03:17All breeds.
01:03:18Houses don't jump.
01:03:20What part of a horse has the most hair?
01:03:22The outside.
01:03:25What do you call a horse wearing a Venetian blind?
01:03:28A zebra.
01:03:29Oh, God, make it stop.
01:03:31That one didn't even make sense.
01:03:33Don't worry, boys.
01:03:34I got a million of them.
01:03:35What's a horse's favorite sickness?
01:03:37Hay fever.
01:03:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:03:56Trust me.
01:03:57You won't be sorry.
01:03:59Well, I guess one can't stand in the way of progress.
01:04:03Mom, no.
01:04:04You can't sign.
01:04:04You promised.
01:04:05Dad, did you close the deal?
01:04:07Look around, son.
01:04:08It's all ours.
01:04:09Jules, I know you're upset, but believe me, it's for the best.
01:04:13No, you're wrong.
01:04:14They can't tear down this place.
01:04:15It will destroy the magic.
01:04:17What will happen to Horatio?
01:04:18She's right, Dad.
01:04:19This isn't a normal ranch.
01:04:20It's special.
01:04:22It's one of a kind.
01:04:24The people or the place?
01:04:27Both.
01:04:28They have a talking horse.
01:04:29I know it sounds insane, but he really can talk.
01:04:32It's true, Mom.
01:04:32Not everyone can hear him, but if I just smash you around,
01:04:35with Jules, enough with the games.
01:04:37We'll be happy in the city.
01:04:38You'll see.
01:04:39It'll just take a little getting used to.
01:04:41Where are your brothers?
01:04:42I want to give them the good news.
01:04:44Dad, trust me.
01:04:44Just one swift hit on the head with that thing, and you'll see.
01:04:47Don't worry about the brain damage.
01:04:48It'll pass.
01:04:49That won't be necessary, son.
01:04:50I've seen the light, and this place is going to be huge.
01:04:52People are going to come from miles around.
01:04:54But it does require one special ingredient to make the whole thing work.
01:04:57I will absolutely need Miss Bell to manage the place.
01:05:01But, Mr. Beetle, I don't know anything about running a mall.
01:05:04Well, you know just about everything else.
01:05:06And once people come and drink your amazing tea, breathe in the air, and get away from
01:05:09the city, they're going to feel 20 years younger.
01:05:12I know.
01:05:13I'm not just the owner.
01:05:14I'm also a client.
01:05:15So welcome to Bell and Beetle's Wonder Ranch, where dreams come true.
01:05:18How's that sound?
01:05:19Monty, do you mean it?
01:05:21You mean we can stay?
01:05:22Dad, are you feeling okay?
01:05:24The answer is yes, yes, and a big, fat yes.
01:05:27I've never felt better.
01:05:28And what about Horatio?
01:05:29Horatio can stay.
01:05:30The animals can stay.
01:05:30We'll get more animals.
01:05:31I want to build this place up to be the most fantastic ranch for humans and animals alike.
01:05:35Let them intermingle.
01:05:36People can pet the animals, can talk to the animals.
01:05:38And some of them might even talk back to you.
01:05:40When did you decide to do all of this?
01:05:42Well, I believe I came down with something since we first arrived here.
01:05:45Oh, really?
01:05:46Is it contagious?
01:05:48I believe so.
01:05:49It comes about when someone gets too far away from their past.
01:05:53I believe I'm homesick.
01:05:55Dad, did you just make a joke?
01:05:57I don't know.
01:05:58Do bad jokes count?
01:05:59Around here they do.
01:06:00Just ask Horatio.
01:06:02We have to tell Horatio.
01:06:03I love you, Mom.
01:06:04You too, Dad.
01:06:05This is great.
01:06:07Well, I think I finally made my son proud.
01:06:10I think the kids have really hit it off.
01:06:12Yeah, with horseshoes.
01:06:14Is that a joke?
01:06:16Watch out.
01:06:17You could just become funny.
01:06:19Yeah?
01:06:20I'll work on it.
01:06:21How about you give me lessons over dinner tonight, Kimberly?
01:06:23Do you like lasagna?
01:06:25I think it may soon become one of my favorite dishes.
01:06:29I can't believe we did it.
01:06:51We didn't even have to prove Horatio could speak.
01:06:53Perhaps it's better if we keep that secret to ourselves.
01:06:56If word gets out that we have a talking horse, everyone will start trying to exploit him.
01:06:59There will be t-shirts, lunchboxes, marketing gimmicks galore.
01:07:02Someone will probably even make a movie about him.
01:07:04Yeah.
01:07:05I guess you're right.
01:07:06We don't need another talking horse movie.
01:07:10No more.
01:07:11No more bad jokes.
01:07:13No more.
01:07:14No more bad jokes.
01:07:15Just stop.
01:07:16Last ad, please.
01:07:17Let it end.
01:07:18It has to stop.
01:07:18Last ad, please.
01:07:19Just let it end.
01:07:21That was odd.
01:07:22I wonder what that was about.
01:07:23There's nothing like a friend.
01:07:26Lift you when you're down.
01:07:28Sting the world around.
01:07:30Make it fun again.
01:07:32We're not here on our own.
01:07:34Even if we spend some time alone.
01:07:37Help to know there's a place to go.
01:07:40Cause you and me.
01:07:43That's how it's meant to be.
01:07:45Laughing with each other through the years.
01:07:48Laughing
01:07:52Ho ho ho ho ho.
01:07:54.
01:08:10.
01:08:11.
01:09:15Well, you've been a great audience.
01:09:27I hope you all have enjoyed my little tale.
01:09:29But as you can see, this is definitely...
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