- 5 minutes ago
This video contains spoilers for Dead Space, Dead Space 2, Life is Strange, Life is Strange: Double Exposure, Kirby Star Allies and The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00have some fun pajama crew let's go all right there you little demons jules here for whatculture.com
00:06back again with another episode of the awesomely named and awfully hosted choose your own adventure
00:11the weekly medieval themed format where either crown jewels of whatculture.com ticket list chosen
00:15by you yes you the person who is at the time of recording unfortunately on a nine loss losing
00:23streak when it comes to warhammer now i know this might not mean a lot to many people out there
00:28except the die hard lovers of the game but this is a real problem for me because back in the day
00:34i actually said to my friends if i go on a 10 game losing streak i'll just quit it and they've kind
00:39of remembered that i said that must have said it with some conviction back in the day probably after
00:44a few pints and this is the problem i need you now to help will me over the finish line will me to
00:50victory even if you don't play the game just understand that i'm heavily invested into this
00:55hobby and i kind of don't want to give it up cheers ron i'm just going to feed on to all this
00:59positivity oh i can see why simon miller does this this is lovely this is very very good ah
01:04thank you very much yes you get to decide what list i dole out to you each and every week and this
01:09week we have none other to thank than chris breezy for their suggestion of video game protagonists that
01:17would have actually made better villains because here's the thing sometimes our heroes they go through
01:22quite a lot in the video games i mean likely they've had their family killed they've had their
01:27dog kicked and their nan insulted and that's just not on not that i was okay with the family being
01:33killed with the dog you know what i mean though and so sometimes there's really a question of why
01:37don't they also fall to the dark side because well sometimes they've got to take some pretty
01:41nefarious means to get their rowenge if you know what i'm saying so let's take a look at some
01:46examples where people came very very close to turning didn't but maybe in retrospect should have
01:52so with that in mind i'm jules this is whatculture.com and these are eight video game
01:57protagonists who would have made better villains oi you yes you do you want to stay safe and browse
02:04freely well nordvpn is running an unbelievable deal at the minute that gets you up to 76% off
02:10subscriptions and three months free just scan the qr code in this video or click the link below
02:16and it's all yours isaac clark from dead space now let's be real here if any one of us just saw
02:22dead space's isaac clark walking towards us i would have a bloody heart attack and then run a
02:27mile i mean his armored engineering suit complete that creepy face helmet makes him look straight up
02:34like a slasher movie villain to say nothing of the fact that he rocks some seriously hefty weaponry like
02:39his trusty plasma cutter while also harboring quite the penchant for stomping the living hell out of
02:45anything into a bloody paste it'd be like hey isaac man um i know that you've just turned that guy's
02:51head into actual jam but um you do owe me for the uber ride that we we took to the world i'll catch
02:58you in a bit i'll i'll split us bye and then there's of course isaac's well noted psychological
03:03issues from the trauma of losing his girlfriend nicole to effectively developing space dementia
03:09from his contact with the marker now despite being the ass kicking hero of dead space and a character
03:16that millions love playing as isaac also ticks quite a lot of villain boxes as well and considering what
03:22he's been through who could actually blame him honestly a survival horror game where a crazed
03:28masked guy in a space suit is trying to rip you limb from limb actually sounds pretty damn awesome
03:33so yeah i'd be up for that with the dead space franchise basically being on ice for the foreseeable
03:38future why the hell not now let's talk about kratos from god of war kratos is unquestionably one of the
03:44most badass video game protagonists in history but much like dead space's isaac you definitely
03:49wouldn't want to meet him down a dark alleyway just kind of like hey buddy yes oh uh do you mind if i
03:56just squeeze past you there i need to get to the bureau de change man i've got some euros i need to
04:02change oh you know you've you've kind of just kind of just ripped my gut open with that blade as
04:08you just that does not concern no no i won't no i won't complain about it and now your son's just
04:13flipping me the bird but even beyond his pant pissingly intimidating visage defined by his
04:19ape-like frame and piercing gaze kratos is one hell of a morally dubious character you see in the
04:27original greek era trilogy of games kratos's quest for vengeance against the gods left an ungodly amount
04:33of mortal bloodshed in his wake and sometimes entirely innocent folk whose only crime was
04:37standing in their way got the brunt of it consequences consequences it seems here and
04:43while kratos absolutely cleans up his act by the time he enters his dad era he's still a literal god
04:48capable of wielding the sort of power that nobody anywhere ever should have just to themselves in
04:55another game it'd be easy to picture kratos as the final boss of the thing that the the mythical
04:59villain that the plucky chosen one has to topple at the end of things against all of the odds rather
05:04than a literal god slaying goliath in his own right honestly the fact that many newer players
05:09find the original greek games tough to play because kratos is such a relentlessly bloodthirsty nasty
05:15piece of work kind of says it all okay let's have a chat about max from life is strange now max is of
05:21course the heroine from life is strange who manifests the ability to rewind time and endeavors to
05:27use it to resurrect her murdered friend chloe a decision that is ultimately left up to the player
05:32yet as likable as max is throughout the franchise it goes without saying that few people who develop
05:37the power to manipulate time in a world like this truly use it in a responsible way and more to the
05:45point the series's own rules frequently demonstrate that messing with time has unintended
05:50almost always negative consequences such that the very act of tampering with time is um less than
05:57ideal to put it bluntly and so max could so easily slip into the role of a time tinkering villain a
06:04possibility which was teased in last year's divisive sequel life is strange double exposure where max
06:10crosses paths with her own dubious future self there comes a point where screwing with the space-time
06:16continuum isn't just reckless or misguided and in the wake of another sufficiently traumatic event it
06:22would be so easy for max to become a temporal terrorist forever trying to bend the universe to
06:28her will no matter the mass casualty calamities that it causes see if i had the power of time travel i
06:34would uh use it very wisely indeed because i go back to the moment that i spotted big pitch what up for
06:40the first time and make that real life pigeon feel like he goddamn mattered because he's gone on
06:45to influence so much here on what culture gaming and i don't think that they know i think that that
06:50pigeon just flew in there big fat pigeon that he is and flew off into the sunset i mean maybe the
06:56mysteries are best left unanswered but uh if you can hear this big pigeon real life big pitch not
07:04there's anything against you thank you that's all i do that's all i do i'll go back in time and shoot
07:10hitler in the face corvo from dishonored now dishonored's protagonist corvo is a freaking awesome
07:17because the game gives players so many potential abilities to make them an absolute menace his
07:22various supernatural powers include the ability to see foes through walls perform short distance
07:27teleportation possess other characters slow or freeze time entirely summon swarms of rats and turn dead
07:35enemies into ash which which kind of seems like a little bit of a party trick more than anything else
07:41when you put all the control rats teleportation oh i'm gonna cremate your body you're just providing
07:48a service at that point there apart from just making a bit of cash on the side
07:51okay okay okay and that's without even getting into corvo's actual arsenal of tangible weapons as
07:59well that is to say that corvo is basically a terrifying wraith of a human being capable of
08:04liberating folk from their lives with stealthy precision stealthy stealthy precision and all the
08:11while doing so while rocking a terrifying ass mask that looks more at home in a horror movie than
08:16anything else now while corvo's fear factor is dictated by each player's playstyle
08:21those who embrace a high chaos run will basically be playing corvo as a merchant of death to be
08:27feared by both folk good and bad imagine having to take him on the end boss of a horror game of
08:34needing to find a way to answer all of the stealth attacks and put him down for good that would
08:39basically be like mr freeze the boss from arkham city multiplied by infinity and then added it with
08:45horror yeah boy okay it's time to gob off about kirby from the video games featuring kirby now don't let
08:55his adorable exterior and mere 20 inches of height fool you kirby is the sort of abomination with which
09:02lovecraftian nightmares are made i mean his suite of offensive and defensive abilities are as terrifying
09:08as they are mind-boggling he can change the shape of his body to fend off a foe inflate himself with air
09:14and fly and even open his mouth to swallow enemies whole in an attempt to satisfy his apparently
09:20insatiable appetite more to the point kirby can adopt the characteristics of anyone he devours
09:26and if this all isn't somehow quite terrifying yet he's also proven himself powerful enough to kill
09:32actual gods now if you read this description sight unseen you'd more likely assume kirby to be a big
09:38bad from a sci-fi horror film not one of nintendo's all-time most cute and popular mascot characters
09:44for as fun as kirby is to play as the experience of battling something so malleable and protean
09:49must be utterly oppressive and could you imagine my god i don't even really want to picture this
09:55could you imagine if kirby actually ate big pitch wait a minute why are you so pink
10:01oh you just got a sunburn what up man oh my god it's time to talk about everyone's favorite character
10:08now it's bean guy it's doom doom guy who we've uh re-attributed now to uh mr bean the bean slayer
10:19if you missed that episode don't worry you missed a fever dream
10:26now in the grand pantheon of first person shooter protagonists there are precious few who can hold a
10:32candle to bane doom guy the ultra buff demon hunting space marine may be a man of few words but you sure
10:40as hell can hear him coming anytime he enters a room and liquidates everything in the vicinity
10:47and the current rebooted era of doom games absolutely lean to the idea that bane is such a fearsome legend
10:55at this point many of the demons are straight up scared of him perceiving him as a demon himself
11:02could you imagine that you're just in actual hell where you've got people being tortured the screams
11:08of millions filling the air to the point where it's actually quite annoying give you a bit of tinnitus
11:12but they're just going like oh bloody hell there's one guy up there who's causing all of our armies to
11:18absolutely piss themselves well even the piss demon especially the piss demon they shat themselves as
11:23well bloody hell that is scary luckily i'm in admin though so i won't have to go there what's this
11:28conscription notice for everyone there
11:30and of course you'd be scared of him i mean the man is basically a walking tank and can somehow carry
11:38an entire arsenal's worth of weapons on his person and is able to effortlessly rip and tear demons in
11:45half with his bare hands everyone no matter what side you're on here should absolutely be scared of the
11:53beanslayer because just imagine how utterly terrifying it would have to have him on your
11:57tail the likes of bj blaskowitz samus aran and master chief yeah they would come and ruin your day
12:03and probably spit in your face for good measure but beanslayer they will end you with extreme
12:09prejudice okay time to talk about fellow baldy agent 47 from hitman now few would profess hitman's
12:15assassin protagonist agent 47 to be a card carrying hero i mean the man kills people for money for heaven's
12:21sake and even though many of his marks are ultimately awful human beings it is a stretch to call him
12:26anything more than an anti-hero and this is the thing agent 47 is so damn good at his job that it's
12:31easy to appreciate just how terrifying it would have to have him assigned to be your dirt nap with
12:36his basically supernatural ability to blend into just about any scenario even with a bloody barcode
12:41tattoo on his noggin logic be damned i guess and the endlessly creative means with which he can shuffle
12:46somebody off their mortal coil 47 is basically a force of nature unto himself he's tremendously fun to
12:53play as but he'd also make for an absolutely terrifying stalker antagonist it's like the creature from
12:59it follows meets the terminator meets it the clown because they love comedy and weird pratfalls and
13:06toilets dropping on your head that's horrifying and once 47 accepts a contract on you you'll never rest
13:12easy again but then again you probably won't be aware of it and you won't be alive for much longer
13:16after the fact so it'll be a short and terrifying existence for the moments that you do see him
13:21though link from the legend of zelda and finally we have the legend of zelda's link who is undeniably
13:28one of the most iconic video game heroes and say it with me kids of all time but oh just how things
13:36could be different with just a few tweaks you see link is silent and indomitable he won't ever stop
13:42until the day is one while also being aided by a vast array of weapons and abilities with new powers
13:47typically being introduced in each successive game now link's most notable abilities from past titles
13:53include time matter and weather manipulation the power to transform into a wolf and also gain
13:59superhuman strength now it is great for players trust me but just imagine if the shoe was on the
14:06other foot and all of this was coming at you you probably wouldn't be making cracks about his goofy
14:10green tunic now would you i mean you probably get one off just before he absy ends you'd be like
14:15gone as a wordless warrior who is seemingly unstoppable despite his small stature link has as much in common
14:23with kevin from sin city as he does a typical hero just with slightly less cannibalism obviously obviously
14:30obviously does he eat people let me know down in the comment section below
14:36and there we go my friends those were eight video game protagonists who would have made
14:40better villains i hope that you enjoyed that and let me know what you thought about it down in the
14:43comment section below and put your suggestions for next week's episode down there as well i love to
14:48read them all my friends but if you want to chat to me in the meantime you can go over to my social
14:51medias which are at retro j but the o is a zero on blue sky and instagram you can check out all the
14:56war i've been painting recently i'm in love with painting orcs at the moment i've got so many to go
15:01i've got 60 boys to paint but if you want to chat to my lovely and very patient editor si you can chat
15:09to her here over on her social medias as well but before i go i just want to say one thing even though
15:14we spoke today about heroes who almost became villains and probably we're much better for it
15:19that they didn't let's talk about how we should also be kind to ourselves so we don't go out and make
15:23silly mistakes and choices in our lives just sit and think with things before you go out and start
15:29making actions based on them and also just do that from a place of love and respect for both yourself
15:35and the people that you're dealing with all right sometimes we can be very rash even beings we can go
15:40out there and act without thinking about the repercussions of things that are going to go on
15:44but we just need to take a moment take a breath find that point of inner peace before we go out into
15:50the world and make those choices because trust me if you do and that you are kind to yourself you'll see
15:55that the world isn't against you as much as you may originally believe and you might be able to go
15:59out there and make better choices at the end of the day that is all i want for you to live a healthy
16:04and happy life big love to you my friend thank you very much for watching and i'll see you soon bye
Comments