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00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time.
00:00:07And this guy passes out.
00:00:09Alright, it's about that time.
00:00:11So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:20Yeah, him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23Just pay him up.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30You have a cute scar.
00:00:31It's just my birthmark.
00:00:45You want me to stop, tell me now.
00:00:47I don't want you to stop.
00:00:57I don't want you to stop.
00:01:00I don't want you to stop.
00:01:30I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:00Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:13I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:15I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:28Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:30Why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:43I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:51But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:53She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:56And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her knowing you're the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:02Good.
00:03:03Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:05I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:17Now, Auntie Debra and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:22Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:24It's just for Christmas.
00:03:26But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:29I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:39Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:40Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:04:10We'll try.
00:04:18I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:21He's gorgeous.
00:04:28Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:32She's waving in the coffee shop.
00:04:33Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:35You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:38So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:40See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:43Hi, my name's Hyper. What's your name?
00:04:46Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:48Max, Aurelius.
00:04:50Eva.
00:04:51I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:55I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:58I guess mom gets her grandkid too.
00:05:02So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:07$1,000 an hour?
00:05:09Well, yeah.
00:05:11It's $500 a day.
00:05:13Is that enough?
00:05:14That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:16Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:18That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:20You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:22Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:24Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:27and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:29And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:31so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:36So she's getting pressure from her folks too.
00:05:38Fine.
00:05:40But you have to help me get my mom off my case too.
00:05:44Okay.
00:05:45Deal.
00:05:48Ready to go get married?
00:05:50Okay.
00:05:50Okay.
00:05:50Okay.
00:05:51Okay.
00:05:51Wow.
00:06:05Clean up nice.
00:06:06This is my wedding day after all.
00:06:08Pictures.
00:06:09Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:20I think we got it.
00:06:45Oh, I need some photos of us together too
00:06:48to prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:51and have a happy family.
00:06:52Yeah, of course.
00:06:54Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:05From my family to you.
00:07:07Bad news, boss.
00:07:17The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:18to be your fake wife failed last minute.
00:07:21Wait, she bailed?
00:07:22Then who is...
00:07:24Who is she?
00:07:28Whatever.
00:07:29It doesn't matter.
00:07:31I've got what I need.
00:07:35Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:36I already found someone.
00:07:37Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:46Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:48Christmas shopping?
00:07:49I should come.
00:07:51Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:52in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:54I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:57It'll make it more believable.
00:08:01Fine.
00:08:02Yeah, fine.
00:08:03Okay.
00:08:04You can come.
00:08:07Let's go.
00:08:13Which mall are we going to?
00:08:15Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:16Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:22Oh!
00:08:23What the actual fuck?
00:08:29Sam,
00:08:30is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:32of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:34Get me a DNA test
00:08:36for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:40She does kind of look like him.
00:08:45So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:47we will say they're from you.
00:08:51Here, let me get this.
00:08:53I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so I was, uh, thinking
00:08:59that since we're married,
00:09:02we should probably kiss
00:09:04once or twice
00:09:05in front of them.
00:09:08Okay.
00:09:09Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:11No, no, definitely not.
00:09:13And absolutely no...
00:09:14Sex?
00:09:15Yes.
00:09:16It's strictly business.
00:09:18Mm.
00:09:19Anything physical outside of that
00:09:20does not have any.
00:09:21What?
00:09:23Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:26I just don't want Piper
00:09:28to have messy complications
00:09:29getting in the way
00:09:30of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:32Let's go.
00:09:39Here.
00:09:40What are you doing?
00:09:42I'd never let my woman
00:09:42pick up the tab.
00:09:43Well, I'm not your woman
00:09:47and this isn't a real relationship
00:09:49and I don't want your money.
00:09:52Attention shoppers,
00:09:53all bakery items
00:09:54are now 50% off.
00:09:5550% off pies?
00:09:57Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5812 pumpkin pies,
00:09:59did I hear this right?
00:10:00They're the best kind.
00:10:02Hurry up and go, go.
00:10:03What are you standing here for?
00:10:06Hello there.
00:10:07Hi.
00:10:07You ready?
00:10:08Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:09Okay, great.
00:10:11We have a holiday special today.
00:10:12Spend $500,
00:10:14get 10% off
00:10:15and you are just short
00:10:16$15 if you want to
00:10:17take advantage of the deal.
00:10:18Oh, great.
00:10:19Yeah, what do you have
00:10:21that's just $15?
00:10:22Will you get a move on?
00:10:24I just got here.
00:10:26Relax.
00:10:27Yeah, yeah.
00:10:30Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:32Okay, thank you.
00:10:35Hurry up and pay.
00:10:39I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:40You can wait your turn.
00:10:47Damn, my fake wife
00:10:48has some fire in her.
00:10:55Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:56Not the pies.
00:10:56Not the pies.
00:10:57You can just set those on top.
00:11:03Hi, guys.
00:11:04I'm going to hand you
00:11:06all these pies.
00:11:11Of course.
00:11:13Thank you so much.
00:11:14Of course.
00:11:14I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:17She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:18Don't worry, I have enough
00:11:19for everybody.
00:11:20Just to give it away.
00:11:23Merry Christmas.
00:11:24Merry Christmas.
00:11:30What?
00:11:31You do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:38We should go.
00:11:39We got to pick up paper.
00:11:43Sit.
00:11:44Watch out.
00:11:44You done feeling me up?
00:12:06Shut up.
00:12:07Oh, sorry.
00:12:08I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:09Well, stay out of character
00:12:11until Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:12Christmas.
00:12:13Christmas.
00:12:13And don't be late.
00:12:29Harrison Group?
00:12:31Do you do construction
00:12:32for them or something?
00:12:34Sort of.
00:12:35Not that I'm judging.
00:12:36I just need to get
00:12:38my story straight
00:12:38or my mom will eat
00:12:39both of us alive.
00:12:40Why don't we say
00:12:42that you do
00:12:43mid-level management
00:12:43for Harrison Group?
00:12:45I think that's respectable.
00:12:47Can we pick another company?
00:12:49No.
00:12:50Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:52And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:53My cousin's husband
00:12:54works for them too.
00:12:55So, it's perfect.
00:13:00Oh, and, uh,
00:13:02wear something nice
00:13:03for Christmas dinner?
00:13:04Don't worry.
00:13:05Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:06I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:07Too much.
00:13:31Let's go, Sam.
00:13:32It's time to check out
00:13:33the new HQ site.
00:13:34Hold on,
00:13:35you're covered in water
00:13:36and you have a hair
00:13:37on your shoulder
00:13:37and it's not yours.
00:13:40It's my daughter's.
00:13:42My daughter's.
00:13:43Get me a DNA test
00:13:45for that little girl
00:13:46that he's with.
00:13:46Hey, there they are!
00:14:03Hey!
00:14:04Nice to meet you!
00:14:06Aw, dad.
00:14:07So glad you made it.
00:14:08Aw, we missed you.
00:14:10So, where's this mysterious
00:14:13husband we heard all about?
00:14:14He's coming.
00:14:16Please don't tell me
00:14:17Maximus bailed.
00:14:18Good, good, good.
00:14:20So, heard you got
00:14:22a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:24When's he arriving?
00:14:25Aw, it's probably
00:14:27just some story
00:14:27she cooked up
00:14:28to stop people talking.
00:14:30Poor thing.
00:14:31Not surprising.
00:14:32I mean, she's 30.
00:14:33Once a woman hits that age,
00:14:35you become undateable.
00:14:37No, plus a kid
00:14:38looks so bad
00:14:39on dating apps.
00:14:43This is exactly
00:14:44why I refuse
00:14:45to come home single
00:14:45this Christmas.
00:14:46Auntie Pamela,
00:14:48Debbie,
00:14:48my dating life,
00:14:50quite frankly,
00:14:50is none of your concern.
00:14:52We're only worried
00:14:53about you.
00:14:54All these years
00:14:55without a husband.
00:14:56Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:58You know,
00:14:59you always spoiled
00:15:00her rotten.
00:15:01And look what happened.
00:15:02She got knocked up
00:15:03out of wedlock
00:15:04raising a kid
00:15:05all alone.
00:15:06I'm not alone.
00:15:08Mm-hmm.
00:15:08And what does
00:15:09this mysterious
00:15:10husband do?
00:15:14He's a manager.
00:15:16Manager?
00:15:17Of what?
00:15:18Trash.
00:15:20Probably a cover
00:15:22for criminal activity.
00:15:24You don't have
00:15:25to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:27Actually,
00:15:28he's right here.
00:15:33Oh, wow.
00:15:36Wow.
00:15:37He is really
00:15:38good looking.
00:15:40Ah, must be AI.
00:15:42Mm-hmm.
00:15:42Congratulations, Eva,
00:15:44on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:46Fake.
00:15:46That's enough.
00:15:47She's our daughter
00:15:48and your niece.
00:15:50Show some respect.
00:15:51Remember last year
00:15:52when I introduced you
00:15:54to my husband's nephew,
00:15:55William,
00:15:56and you turned him down?
00:15:58Well, guess what?
00:15:59William works
00:16:00for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:02Makes 500 grand
00:16:04a year.
00:16:05That's half a million.
00:16:07Half a million.
00:16:09Girls are lining up
00:16:10for him all the way
00:16:11to New York.
00:16:12And speak of the devil.
00:16:17Willie, you made it.
00:16:30There you are.
00:16:31Oh, look at you now.
00:16:34Living the dream.
00:16:36Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:38Well, you could be
00:16:38driving around
00:16:39in a car like that
00:16:40had you not married
00:16:41that criminal waste manager.
00:16:44So married, huh?
00:16:45Yeah.
00:16:46Is it serious?
00:16:48That's what marriage is.
00:16:49It's pretty serious.
00:16:51Wow.
00:16:52You must have rushed
00:16:53the time they're not, huh?
00:16:55Makes sense, though.
00:16:56You not being
00:16:57a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:58Dragging that kid around
00:17:00with no daddy.
00:17:02Ugh, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:04Meanwhile, you're climbing
00:17:06the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:08That's right.
00:17:09Just bought this brand new suit
00:17:11with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:14Women love a man in red.
00:17:16Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:18When I sit on my lap.
00:17:20Don't touch me.
00:17:21Oh, so entitled.
00:17:24Williams, a successful man
00:17:26of taste, not waste.
00:17:28And yet, for some reason,
00:17:30he's willing to overlook
00:17:31your baggage.
00:17:32I mean, look at that car.
00:17:34Could your husband afford
00:17:36anything even close to that?
00:17:38Think of the life I can give you
00:17:39and Piper with all my
00:17:40Harrison Group money.
00:17:41Ditch your nobody husband
00:17:43and marry me instead.
00:17:46I wouldn't marry you
00:17:47if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:48My mom would never marry.
00:17:55She already has a husband.
00:17:56He's going to kick your butt.
00:18:02Is that so?
00:18:03Well, then, where is he?
00:18:06Because I don't see him.
00:18:07Does anyone see him?
00:18:11No.
00:18:12Just like I thought.
00:18:14Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:17That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:19And let me show you
00:18:21what happens to naughty children.
00:18:25Hey.
00:18:25Mommy.
00:18:26Hey.
00:18:27Are you okay?
00:18:28I see your hands.
00:18:29Oh, my God.
00:18:30I'm going to take her in
00:18:31and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:32Come on, now.
00:18:33Let's go.
00:18:35What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:38How dare you put your filthy hands
00:18:39on my daughter?
00:18:40Let me go.
00:18:43Now, why would I go
00:18:44and do a thing like that
00:18:46when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:48Let me go!
00:18:49Let me go!
00:19:03Touch my wife again
00:19:05and I will snap every finger
00:19:06that you've got.
00:19:07Max, you came.
00:19:13Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:16Where's Piper?
00:19:18William Hitter?
00:19:20Mom, Dad, I'll take her inside.
00:19:22Well, it looks like we have
00:19:23a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:24Well, well, well.
00:19:26If it isn't a waste marriage
00:19:27I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:30That's right.
00:19:30Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:35Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:38It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:39I'm Max.
00:19:41Eva told us all about you.
00:19:42From New York.
00:19:43Polite.
00:19:44Handsome.
00:19:45Just like she said.
00:19:47Wow.
00:19:48He was an AI.
00:19:50See?
00:19:51He's real.
00:19:52And he's more of a man here
00:19:53than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:55Son of a bitch!
00:19:56You just ruined my suit!
00:19:58And watch the way that you drive that
00:19:59that pristine automobile.
00:20:02That car?
00:20:04Oh, my God.
00:20:05That's worth more than a house!
00:20:07That car?
00:20:08It was all over the news
00:20:09when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:11Wait.
00:20:14Are you?
00:20:19Like I said,
00:20:20I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:23And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:25I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:27You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:29You stole it!
00:20:30That car belongs to the CEO of my company!
00:20:32Jesus!
00:20:33How did he get away with it?
00:20:35That's what I want to know.
00:20:37Enough!
00:20:37Please!
00:20:40I trust my daughter.
00:20:42She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:45Max, be honest with me.
00:20:48Where did that car come from?
00:20:50How much did you want for it?
00:20:52I'll pay you more money
00:20:53than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:56So?
00:20:57You need a breath, man.
00:21:01All right, that's it!
00:21:01I'm calling the cops!
00:21:02Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:04Wait.
00:21:05What?
00:21:06Are you feeling noticed, Eva?
00:21:08Oh, well.
00:21:11Too late.
00:21:18Listen, hon.
00:21:19I believe you.
00:21:21But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:25Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:26It's my car.
00:21:27Okay?
00:21:27It's not stolen.
00:21:29Yeah?
00:21:30If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:32Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:35Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:36Okay.
00:21:37I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:39But then you have to get lost.
00:21:41And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:43Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:46Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:48Loser!
00:21:49Say one more word,
00:21:50and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:54Jesus.
00:21:55Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:57It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:58Here.
00:22:02Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:11Mr. Harrison?
00:22:15Mr. Harrison?
00:22:19Mr. Harrison?
00:22:21Just play along.
00:22:23Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:24Now get the fuck out of here
00:22:26before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:29Yes, sir!
00:22:30I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:32Please, accept my serious apologies!
00:22:44Oh, that William!
00:22:47What a jerk, huh?
00:22:48He fooled me!
00:22:49What can I say?
00:22:51Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:54Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:57Oh, come on, Eva!
00:22:58We were just looking out for you!
00:23:00Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:02You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:04Soon.
00:23:05Do you think that, uh,
00:23:06you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:09A job at the Harrison Group,
00:23:11even in the mailroom,
00:23:12would open doors.
00:23:13We are family, aren't we?
00:23:16Family takes care of each other.
00:23:18If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group,
00:23:20you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:22Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:26Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:29Yeah.
00:23:30I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:33My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:35Your best life,
00:23:37my new son-in-law.
00:23:39Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:23:40Welcome to the family.
00:23:45Welcome.
00:23:45Come on in.
00:23:46Come on in.
00:23:47This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:52You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:56My fault.
00:23:57You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:24:00Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:12And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:14And how do you...
00:24:14I told you.
00:24:15I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:18I have a friend in high places.
00:24:19A friend who just hands you keys
00:24:22to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:24Yes.
00:24:25It's the season of giving.
00:24:27He knows people, has connections.
00:24:30He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:32You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:34Yeah, and you best not forget it, capisce?
00:24:36Oh, my God, just don't blow your cover.
00:24:40Dad!
00:24:40Mom, thank you so much
00:24:42for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:44Oh, honey, we're just so happy
00:24:47that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:52I think they get it, huh?
00:24:54Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:57Oh, she's fine.
00:24:58One of you guys just gets settled in
00:25:00and we will go check on her.
00:25:02And after your mom takes a cold shower,
00:25:05we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:07Great.
00:25:08All right, see you in a bit.
00:25:09Shall we?
00:25:10What are you doing?
00:25:13Okay.
00:25:15Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:20Relax.
00:25:21It was just a hug.
00:25:22We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:28You'll be okay.
00:25:29It's just one week.
00:25:30Kill me now.
00:25:31Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:38What are you doing?
00:25:41That's weird.
00:25:42They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:45I don't know, something just falls off.
00:25:47That's ridiculous.
00:25:48I mean, what do you want him to do?
00:25:51Make him promise to prove him?
00:25:53Something like this.
00:25:55Later.
00:25:58Let's go.
00:26:03Here we go.
00:26:05Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:07Everything looks amazing.
00:26:08And happy holidays.
00:26:09To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:13Oh.
00:26:14Welcome.
00:26:15Cheers.
00:26:16Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:17Looks great.
00:26:19Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:20I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:25But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:29Mmm.
00:26:29Oh, no.
00:26:30Mom's testing him.
00:26:32She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:33You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:40Ow.
00:26:41Eva, sweetie.
00:26:43Kicking my foot.
00:26:44Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:46Oh, jeez.
00:26:47What are you doing?
00:26:49It's okay.
00:26:50Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:51I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:5312 pumpkin pies.
00:27:08Did I hear this right?
00:27:09They're the best kind.
00:27:11Well, of course.
00:27:12It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:14See?
00:27:16Are you happy now?
00:27:17That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:20Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:22We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:28But our marriage is real.
00:27:30I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:34Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:38Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:41Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:45Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:48I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:51Well, um, it's...
00:27:54Silly face.
00:27:55Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:57Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:28:00Silly face.
00:28:02I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:04Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:07Those are laussers.
00:28:08It's nice.
00:28:10You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:13Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:16And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:19I'll bring you there.
00:28:21I grew you there.
00:28:22So come on, guys.
00:28:24Let's eat.
00:28:24Come on.
00:28:25And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:40I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:43Nice and festive for you.
00:28:45No complications, right?
00:28:47Sorry, honey.
00:28:48Mom, you know what?
00:28:49I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:51Oh, honey, newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:56Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:58The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:59Something about water conservation.
00:29:02That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0415 minutes?
00:29:06Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:07Just shower together.
00:29:10Shower together?
00:29:14Just shower together.
00:29:15Okay, you guys, have a good night, okay?
00:29:21Don't let me hurt her.
00:29:43Whoa!
00:29:45Why are you stripping?
00:29:47Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:49Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:51You have 15 minutes.
00:29:52Nice try.
00:29:53I am not showering with you.
00:29:55All right, sleep yourself.
00:29:56All room for me in there.
00:29:58Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:16Come on, Max.
00:30:18Get out of the way.
00:30:19We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:21You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:23Relax.
00:30:24I won't touch you.
00:30:26Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:30But that'll cost extra.
00:30:31Yeah.
00:30:40And your dreams.
00:30:43Free to join me.
00:30:44You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower or water left.
00:31:08You wish.
00:31:08Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:10You pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:13It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:16Oh, yeah?
00:31:17True.
00:31:17Holy shit.
00:31:30Oh.
00:31:31This is...
00:31:35This is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:37I'll say. What happened to all that cool guy confidence? Still think you can resist?
00:31:44Maybe. I don't think I want you.
00:31:48Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:54Or maybe we should. God, he's such a good kisser. Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:05Well, we're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:23What? I didn't mean to cross any-
00:32:26It's not you, Max. It's us. It's this. This is all an act. Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:32You're right. I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just don't need to be sorry. Just-
00:32:46That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:54It's him. The man from New Year's. Is he Piper's father?
00:33:02Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh my God. Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah. I just, um, I just got lightheaded. I think I just need a few more minutes. Alone.
00:33:19Of course.
00:33:23We have a daughter together.
00:33:25Oh my God. What do I do?
00:33:33I'm gonna sleep on the floor. You can take the bed.
00:33:37Thanks.
00:33:40Hey. Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:42Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days. So if there's something you need, I can help. I wanna help.
00:33:52He's Piper's father. He has a right to know.
00:33:55Um, Max. How would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child? No, no, no. That's impossible. I'm very careful. Mostly.
00:34:13I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around. Family to me is a big commitment and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:34:24Right. He wouldn't want a kid tying him down. I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:30Why do you ask?
00:34:32No reason. Just, just curious.
00:34:35No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What? No.
00:34:41Well, then, can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:51Where did you get these? And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those. I don't know where those came from.
00:34:59Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:02Get this!
00:35:05Come on. Get, get, get this!
00:35:06Give me the...
00:35:07What?!
00:35:18Elon...
00:35:20The truth is...
00:35:21is that I...
00:35:24Go, go, go, go, go...
00:35:26Just a second.
00:35:28Come in!
00:35:29Hey, hon. Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:38You think you could take this one, Dad? We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:42I can see that.
00:35:44Well, why don't I read it to her? I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:48Well, that a boy. You know what? Just put a shirt on. I'm going to go get her.
00:35:53Piper! Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:55He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
00:36:05But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.
00:36:16If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:20Good night, Piper.
00:36:25Is her dad still around?
00:36:27Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you're her dad.
00:36:31Uh, no.
00:36:32That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:40Do you really think so?
00:36:43From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:45Maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know.
00:36:48Max.
00:36:58Max.
00:36:59You are Piper's father.
00:37:07I'll tell you when the time is right.
00:37:09I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:14I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:17Where's Piper?
00:37:35She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:47God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:03Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:06Not on my watch.
00:38:11Yeah, this.
00:38:13I remember this.
00:38:17Good morning, you two lovebugs.
00:38:27How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:30Good morning, Ms. Smith.
00:38:31It was great.
00:38:33Wonderful.
00:38:34Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:38Oh, no.
00:38:39What is that?
00:38:40Sardines and saltines.
00:38:42It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:44It was my Graham Graham's favorite during wartime.
00:38:47Don't be shy.
00:38:48Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:51Max, you don't have to.
00:38:52No, no.
00:38:52It's okay.
00:38:53It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:57There we are.
00:39:06Good?
00:39:06Good.
00:39:06Good?
00:39:16Mmm.
00:39:17Good?
00:39:18Scrunches.
00:39:20Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:22You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:25Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:28That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:32What's the deal with them?
00:39:34Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:36Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:39:40Hey, don't worry.
00:39:42I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:46Better have Sam on standby tonight.
00:39:48Just in case.
00:39:50Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:39:53Wait, that earring.
00:40:07Wait.
00:40:08That earring.
00:40:09You like it?
00:40:11I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:13Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:16I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:22Right.
00:40:23And it's just a common earring.
00:40:25Anyone can have it.
00:40:26Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:28She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:32So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:37But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:39Oof.
00:40:40What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:43An aging single mom.
00:40:46Slim pickings.
00:40:47I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:49That explains it.
00:40:51She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:54Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:55No.
00:40:56Ava is your niece.
00:40:57Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:59Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:03Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:05Exactly.
00:41:05Not like my Sierra.
00:41:07Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:12Oh, they're here.
00:41:15Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:16Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:22Merry Christmas.
00:41:25You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:26I am.
00:41:27I'm Ava's husband.
00:41:29Max.
00:41:29Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:30Welcome.
00:41:31You're Ava's husband.
00:41:33But you're gorgeous.
00:41:37But not as handsome as you.
00:41:40Look at you two.
00:41:40You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:43Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:44Merry Christmas.
00:41:46This is from Max and I.
00:41:47Oh, my goodness.
00:41:48Thank you, Eva.
00:41:49Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:52Oops.
00:41:53Oh, my bad.
00:41:54Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:57How thrifty.
00:41:58Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:01Mommy's right.
00:42:02You mean all a hack?
00:42:03You little.
00:42:06You will not lay a hand on my daughter.
00:42:09Or you will lose yours.
00:42:10Oh.
00:42:11I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:14Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:16My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:19He could ruin your life.
00:42:21Honey, are you okay?
00:42:35I'm fine.
00:42:35I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:36Yeah.
00:42:37It's okay.
00:42:37It's okay.
00:42:40What are you?
00:42:43Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:46Did you just slap me?
00:42:48Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:49You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:51You know what, Sierra?
00:42:52I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:42:57Her family.
00:42:59She needs me.
00:43:04You okay, honey?
00:43:06Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:08Do something.
00:43:09You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:11I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:14Oh, wow.
00:43:14I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name
00:43:19to bully people.
00:43:20Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:23Let's call him.
00:43:24I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:27Please.
00:43:28Who do you think you are?
00:43:30Enough!
00:43:33There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:36Fine, Dad.
00:43:37Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:39They're just jealous.
00:43:40For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:45I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:48I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:52Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:53All right, that's enough.
00:43:55Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:43:57Is this a joke?
00:44:20Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:22Hold it.
00:44:22Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:24My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:30My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:34King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:39Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:43And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:45It's just petty.
00:44:46Maybe so.
00:44:47But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:51Fine.
00:44:53Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:55Come on, let's go.
00:44:56No, no.
00:44:57Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:00Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:03I know, dear.
00:45:05I just want to have our family together.
00:45:07Fine.
00:45:08We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:11Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:12What was that?
00:45:16I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll stay.
00:45:22Can I have a little nipple?
00:45:24It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:25We'll get something right after.
00:45:27Like drive-thru?
00:45:29I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:32That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:37No strays.
00:45:38Ow.
00:45:38Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:40Yes, I'm fine.
00:45:41You hit my child.
00:45:43You're fucking crazy.
00:45:44Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:48Don't worry, baby.
00:45:53I'll handle it.
00:45:56Don't worry, baby.
00:45:57I'll handle it.
00:46:01Piper.
00:46:03Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:06Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:10Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:12As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:15Actually, I do.
00:46:18He's such a liar.
00:46:19This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:20Oh, it will be.
00:46:24Sam.
00:46:26Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:30I'm already on my way.
00:46:35Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:37I'm already on my way.
00:46:40You hear this guy?
00:46:41He wants the best king crab in the world from Antarctica.
00:46:46Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:49His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:52Max, what are you doing?
00:46:54Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:55Santa's already on his way.
00:46:57Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:06A helicopter?
00:47:08There's no way.
00:47:20How did you pull this off?
00:47:22Sam is like family.
00:47:23I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:25Thanks, boss.
00:47:27Boss?
00:47:28Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:30Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:32Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:35I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:39You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:43Mm-hmm.
00:47:46Come on.
00:47:48You can stop kidding around.
00:47:50If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:54No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:56Come on.
00:47:56You can stop the charade.
00:47:58Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:01Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:02Okay, Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:17How is this possible?
00:48:20This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:26Who are you?
00:48:27I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:30That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:33Wait, no.
00:48:34Hold on.
00:48:36You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:41You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:43Hmm.
00:48:44Some of the small ones.
00:48:46I mean, you know that.
00:48:47You work for me.
00:48:49Oh, God.
00:48:50I insulted my own boss.
00:48:52I'm finished.
00:48:53I'm finished.
00:48:57I didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:04Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:07Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:08For tonight, your feast ends.
00:49:11And with that, your career.
00:49:14You're fired.
00:49:15Fired?
00:49:16Sam.
00:49:20Fired?
00:49:21Oh, God.
00:49:22I can't be fired.
00:49:25What?
00:49:26Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:28You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:30Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:31I'll do anything.
00:49:32Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:36And you.
00:49:41Oh, me?
00:49:43Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:45That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:46A family tradition.
00:49:48Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:50Sam.
00:49:56Will you do me the honors?
00:49:59Gladly.
00:50:03Merry Christmas, Aunt Maria.
00:50:07Father, do something.
00:50:10Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:12I'm leaving.
00:50:13Mmm, pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:20Come on, sweetie.
00:50:22Daddy had this crab line just for you.
00:50:25Eat as much as you want.
00:50:26Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:30I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:32I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:34Honestly?
00:50:36This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:39Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:41Just like this.
00:50:42Does he really mean that?
00:50:44Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:46I can't tell.
00:50:48And that terrifies me.
00:50:49Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:50:55I brought you a gift.
00:50:56Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:59Oh.
00:51:04Oh.
00:51:05This is wonderful.
00:51:07Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:10Tell me everything.
00:51:12Miss Eva Smith.
00:51:13Single mother.
00:51:13Small town gal.
00:51:15Didn't finish high school.
00:51:16Currently works in retail.
00:51:17Oh, Maximus.
00:51:19I thought I raised you better.
00:51:21A high school dropout?
00:51:23In the Harrison family?
00:51:26Not a chance.
00:51:27She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:34Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:35Silence.
00:51:36Get me the address where she works.
00:51:38It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:39That's nice.
00:51:41We own that one.
00:51:43Good work.
00:51:44But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:45Thanks.
00:51:55Thanks.
00:51:57So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:02Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:05And how about you?
00:52:10Me?
00:52:11Yeah.
00:52:13Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:18Eva.
00:52:29That birthmark.
00:52:31Family to me is a big commitment.
00:52:33And I don't want any loose ends.
00:52:36You know?
00:52:36Max, Miss, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:39So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:41Uh.
00:52:43No feelings, no complications.
00:52:45That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:46Hey, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:48Max.
00:52:50Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:52It's cold.
00:52:55Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:58Max.
00:52:58Max.
00:53:00I need to tell you something.
00:53:04Something important.
00:53:05What's gotten into her?
00:53:08Is she hiding something?
00:53:09Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:12I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:17Piper is...
00:53:19Piper is...
00:53:21Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:24Sweetie.
00:53:25Oh my gosh.
00:53:26It's all swollen.
00:53:27Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:30Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:31Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:33Okay?
00:53:35Come on, Piper.
00:53:39Okay, let me see.
00:53:43I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:48But that's not true.
00:53:49You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:53Uh...
00:53:53Daddy!
00:53:54Oh!
00:53:56Well...
00:53:56Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:54:07Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:11Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:12Really?
00:54:13Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:14You think it will scar?
00:54:21Hmm.
00:54:24I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:25Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:27I have one, too.
00:54:29Dad.
00:54:31I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:33Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:36Really?
00:54:36No way.
00:54:38No.
00:54:38It was actually a cactus.
00:54:40But it's still cool.
00:54:43I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:49Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:51My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:53And how old are you?
00:55:00Six.
00:55:01Six?
00:55:02That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:05Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:07Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:11What do I even say?
00:55:13And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:15Sorry, honey.
00:55:16This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:20Um...
00:55:20Yeah.
00:55:23Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:26Eva.
00:55:31Okay, look.
00:55:34Piper is...
00:55:35Go on.
00:55:47That must be an emergency.
00:55:50Excuse me.
00:55:51Sorry.
00:55:52I'll take this.
00:55:53Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:03Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:06I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:08Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:12I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:17She's a high school dropout.
00:56:19Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:21And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:24I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:25Max, that man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:31I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:32I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:35You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:37Your mother would take her away.
00:56:39After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:43Eva?
00:56:44Maximus?
00:56:45Are you even listening to me?
00:56:48No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:56:49I'm sorry, okay?
00:56:50Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:56:52I'm not leaving her.
00:56:55Eva?
00:57:04Good morning.
00:57:06Oh, I'm glad you are.
00:57:07This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:13Oh, wow.
00:57:15That's so cool.
00:57:16Did you make it?
00:57:17Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:20Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:22Thanks, guys.
00:57:24I'm glad you're here.
00:57:27Oh, we got it.
00:57:27Oh, wow.
00:57:29Damn, these are nice.
00:57:31Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:38Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:41It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:43Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:43Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:45Ready, ready?
00:57:46Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:48What have we got, guys?
00:57:49Walking home from our house.
00:57:51Christmas Eve.
00:57:56You never told me.
00:57:59Have we met before?
00:58:04Have we met before?
00:58:07She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:12I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:14Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:26I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:28Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:29They're very common.
00:58:30I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:33No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:37Maybe.
00:58:38Are you okay?
00:58:44Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:47No.
00:58:48I'm fine.
00:58:50Um.
00:58:52Oh, I almost forgot.
00:58:55I got you this.
00:58:57You got me a gift, too?
00:58:59Tis the season.
00:59:00Open it.
00:59:01Gloves.
00:59:15Did you make these?
00:59:17Yeah.
00:59:19I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:59:23You've already done so much for me.
00:59:24I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:28How did I feel?
00:59:30Warm, right?
00:59:31Yeah.
00:59:33Warm.
00:59:35Soft.
00:59:38Perfect.
00:59:42Thank you, Eva.
00:59:44I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:59:49Really?
00:59:49Yeah, my mom.
00:59:51She partied all the time, and I got gifts.
00:59:55Plenty of them, but I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:00Nothing personal.
01:00:03Well, you deserve it.
01:00:05You're a good guy.
01:00:07And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:15What if that day's today?
01:00:16Okay.
01:00:19What if I already found someone special?
01:00:23Right here.
01:00:24Max, we can't...
01:00:37Max, we can't...
01:00:51If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:00:59Come on.
01:01:00I don't want you to stop.
01:01:07No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:11Max.
01:01:11Max.
01:01:11Max.
01:01:13Max.
01:01:15Max.
01:01:15Max.
01:01:16Max.
01:01:17Max.
01:01:18Max.
01:01:19Max.
01:01:20Max.
01:01:21Max.
01:01:22Max.
01:01:23Max.
01:01:24Max.
01:01:25Max.
01:01:26Max.
01:01:27Max.
01:01:28Max.
01:01:29Max.
01:01:30Max.
01:01:31Max.
01:01:32Max.
01:01:33Max.
01:01:34Max.
01:01:35Max.
01:01:36Max.
01:01:37Max.
01:01:38Max.
01:01:39Max.
01:01:40Max.
01:01:41Max.
01:01:42Max.
01:01:43Max.
01:01:44Max.
01:01:45Max.
01:01:46Max.
01:01:47Max.
01:01:48Max.
01:01:49Piper?
01:01:52She can't see me.
01:02:10Eva?
01:02:14Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:19That was way too close.
01:02:30Yeah.
01:02:31We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:37Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:41Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:46You still have been giving me mine.
01:02:49Let me give it to you.
01:02:53Let me give it to you.
01:02:55I'm not loving you.
01:02:56Let me give it to you.
01:03:01Yeah.
01:03:02Hey.
01:03:03Why are you calling me this morning?
01:03:33Hello?
01:03:37Hello, Eva Smith. I'm Max's mother. Name your price. What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:45What?
01:03:46We both know my son is way out of your league. Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go. My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:03:58Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up. So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:10Well there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:16You okay?
01:04:20Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:24So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:28What are you talking about?
01:04:30It's over. It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:36Eva, wait!
01:04:40So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:46Well, Max, it's not real. None of it was real.
01:04:50So, this is just a goodbye?
01:04:54Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:04:57Look, last night, I let my guard down. But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper. And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:09Just tell me what you need. I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father. Just say the word.
01:05:19You don't get it. You don't get it.
01:05:33I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:41I won't give up on us.
01:05:49Are we here?
01:05:59Yes. As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:07Piper, sweetie, wake up. We're home.
01:06:13How can she just walk away?
01:06:19Don't forget, you have to meet my mom. It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:26Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:30You promised. Eva, I haven't asked you for much. Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:37All right, fine. When?
01:06:40Two days. I'll come pick you up.
01:06:43No need. Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.
01:06:46I know you and mommy thought, but she still really likes you. So don't give up. Okay, daddy?
01:06:59Thank you, sweetie. If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:05The ones I love.
01:07:18If you find a church in the end, I'm a church on the side of the streets.
01:07:22Just at 10 times.
01:07:25Eva's meeting my mother today. Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:28Boss? Boss?
01:07:31Boss?
01:07:35Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:38I need to go win back my family.
01:07:40Family? Boss, you okay?
01:07:43Never better.
01:07:45Go get her, Max.
01:07:47Give it your best smile.
01:07:48Ah, there he is. Maximus, darling. I have some prospects for you. Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:02Oh. I told you. I already found the woman I love.
01:08:09Maximus, stop this. That evil woman is scamming you, son. Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:24You are heir to the Harrison dynasty. No, I'm not.
01:08:31Oh?
01:08:33I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss. I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:08:41What?
01:08:54Oh, that's her. The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:01Hi. Welcome in. Can I help you find something?
01:09:05I want to try those.
01:09:09Awesome. I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:12Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:18No, no, no. I know what I want. Size 7.
01:09:22Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:28Come on. She wants the white shoes.
01:09:35Ignore her. She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:38Here, let me help you. Come on.
01:09:43She seems kind.
01:09:46I shouldn't be that impressed. She's just doing her job.
01:09:55How do they feel?
01:09:57Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:10:01I think I need a size up.
01:10:03Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:05Right away. I'll be right back.
01:10:09I'll be right back.
01:10:10She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:10:13Was I wrong about her?
01:10:14Are you gluing the heel, Beckman?
01:10:17Well, who gives a shit? She can't walk.
01:10:19That's just pure evil.
01:10:22Oh, come on, St. Eva. She's in a wheelchair. Who cares?
01:10:23are you gluing the heel back on well who gives a shit she can't walk
01:10:37that's just pure evil oh come on saint eva she's in a wheelchair who cares it's the last pair
01:10:50i get paid commission i'm not doing that vanessa see this is your whole problem this is why you'll
01:11:07always be broke i don't care if she can walk or not i'm not selling her junk she has to deal with
01:11:16people like this people who insult her all day i'm your manager
01:11:22sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired
01:11:29did i stutter
01:11:36you don't have to fire me
01:11:41i quit
01:11:44i don't work here anymore
01:11:51listen don't buy the shoes they're broken spend your heart and money elsewhere okay
01:11:57you're a good person after all looks like i misjudged you i'm sorry
01:12:05why are you still here eva get out
01:12:10you're not disabled selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped
01:12:21absolutely shameful who are you i am the chairwoman of the harrison group and the owner of this store
01:12:31you're eleanor harrison mother of the ceo i am and you my dear are fired
01:12:40you are a good person from now on this store is yours to run
01:12:50are you serious
01:12:55that's right don't be nervous child you are professional responsible far better than that
01:13:05you're a two-bit manager
01:13:12i'll leave
01:13:16i'm leaving
01:13:19i i i feel like i'm dreaming
01:13:22no don't worry you're getting a promotion
01:13:27you deserve it my dear
01:13:30thank you
01:13:31first assignment i want that row and that row and the entire display case
01:13:39pack it all up and bring it to my house
01:13:42okay yeah
01:13:44once we're home i'll tell her i'm her mother-in-law
01:13:49i can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:13:52she's the mother of a ceo of course she lives like this
01:14:03mrs harrison i'm here with your delivery
01:14:14i'm here with your delivery
01:14:18max
01:14:20eva
01:14:21what are you doing here
01:14:22i uh
01:14:24there you are eva
01:14:27wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:14:30my new daughter-in-law
01:14:32what are you talking about
01:14:35that means you really are the ceo of harrison group
01:14:42well i tried to tell you but
01:14:44stop
01:14:46and you
01:14:47you lied to me at the store
01:14:49you were both just testing me
01:14:52is this some sick game rich people play
01:14:54i'm sorry eva
01:14:55i thought you might be using my son
01:14:57just after his money
01:14:59but i was wrong
01:15:00eva please
01:15:01i don't deserve to be treated like this
01:15:03not every working class girl is after your money
01:15:06how could you think that of me
01:15:08it's not like that dear
01:15:10eva what are you talking about
01:15:12mom
01:15:14what did you do
01:15:15i i was just trying to get the two of you back together
01:15:18we're not together
01:15:19and i can't love something that was never real
01:15:22i made a horrible mistake
01:15:28what are you waiting for son
01:15:31go after her
01:15:35eva
01:15:36let me go
01:15:37i swear it's not what you think
01:15:39we come from two completely different worlds
01:15:41stop pretending like you care
01:15:42i'm not pretending
01:15:43okay i can't fake what we have
01:15:45and everything i've done for you
01:15:47and piper
01:15:48this is real
01:15:53touch my wife again and i will snap every finger that you've got
01:15:57max you came
01:15:59god you weren't driving me fucking insane
01:16:04i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:16:06a good father
01:16:07just say the word
01:16:12see
01:16:14stop fighting
01:16:17we belong together
01:16:18you're wrong
01:16:20wrong about what
01:16:22that you care
01:16:24or we belong together
01:16:26look i already told you
01:16:28we're from two completely different worlds
01:16:30now i held up my end of the deal
01:16:32and i met your mother
01:16:33like we discussed
01:16:34i want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:16:36eva
01:16:43eva
01:16:46i'm sorry maximus
01:16:47walking away is the only choice i have
01:16:49ow
01:16:50are you okay mommy
01:16:59yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:17:00come here
01:17:01no you're not fine you're sad
01:17:06i'm okay sweetie
01:17:16i miss daddy too
01:17:19i want my ex to be my real daddy
01:17:23don't you want to be with him
01:17:27don't you want to be with him
01:17:31love bug
01:17:33you're right
01:17:34what am i doing running like a coward
01:17:37i've always taught you to be brave
01:17:41now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:17:44i believe in you what are you gonna do mommy
01:17:47i know exactly what to say to him
01:17:50i know exactly what to say to him
01:17:53maximus deserves to know
01:17:55Piper is his daughter
01:18:00enough sulking
01:18:04go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:18:06don't you think i want to
01:18:10she doesn't want me
01:18:12i didn't raise you to give up
01:18:14your daughter is still out there
01:18:15you can't abandon her
01:18:17mom you don't get it
01:18:19i made a deal with eva to play my wife
01:18:22and Piper she was
01:18:24an added bonus
01:18:26what are you talking about
01:18:28i already ran a dna test
01:18:31Piper is your daughter
01:18:34what
01:18:35for yourself
01:18:42i was right
01:18:43seven years ago
01:18:45new years that woman was eva
01:18:57eva
01:18:59hey
01:19:01daddy
01:19:03daddy
01:19:04Piper
01:19:06oh
01:19:08i missed you so much sweetheart
01:19:11you came back
01:19:16i uh
01:19:18don't forget to be brave mommy
01:19:21don't forget to be brave mommy
01:19:29i uh
01:19:31i was scared
01:19:33but i don't want to be scared anymore
01:19:35because what we have is real and it's worth fighting for
01:19:39sweetheart i have something to tell you
01:19:42i have something to tell you
01:19:44i have something to tell you too
01:19:48Piper is your daughter
01:19:50you knew
01:19:52my sweet granddaughter
01:19:54mama
01:19:58i just found out for sure a few minutes ago but you've known this whole time
01:20:00i was scared
01:20:01i was scared
01:20:02i was scared
01:20:03okay i didn't know if you were gonna take her from me i didn't know how you were feeling
01:20:08how could you not know how i felt
01:20:10how could you not know how i felt
01:20:13i love you eva
01:20:18i love you eva
01:20:21i love you too
01:20:22i promise
01:20:23for the rest of my life i'm going to make it up to you
01:20:28as long as we're together
01:20:30it doesn't matter where we are
01:20:32as long as we're together
01:20:34it doesn't matter where we are
01:20:46will you marry me eva?
01:20:48for real this time
01:20:50yes
01:20:52yes of course i'll marry you
01:20:57yes
01:20:58hi
01:21:06looks like you're stuck with me the next christmas
01:21:08and the christmas after that
01:21:09and forever
01:21:13i wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:20who's that?
01:21:22eva
01:21:25take me back
01:21:28i'm sorry
01:21:29i struck you tired
01:21:33looks like i have to take out the trash
01:21:35again
01:21:39no? not funny?
01:21:40hey
01:21:41you definitely
01:21:46you
01:21:48you
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