- 2 days ago
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00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:12Uh, yeah, him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23Just play him on.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Hey, hey, hey!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03Oh, yeah, my heart, she works.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop, tell me now.
00:01:12I don't want you to stop.
00:01:17I don't want you to stop.
00:01:21Ah, I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:45Happy New Year.
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:56I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:30And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:44I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you're the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:11But I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:15Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:20Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:29I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:39Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:04:09Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:04:12Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:04:13Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:04:16I asked the agency for an average looking guy.
00:04:20He's gorgeous.
00:04:26Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:39See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Piper. What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:54I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:57I guess mom gets her grandkid too.
00:05:00So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:13That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:28And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:30so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case too.
00:05:43Okay.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:05:48Oh, clean up nice.
00:06:04This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:06Pictures.
00:06:07You're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18You're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:18Okay.
00:06:23Touching.
00:06:40Okay.
00:06:41I think we got it oh I need some photos of us together too to prove to my parents that I'm
00:06:48actually married and have a happy family yeah of course
00:06:52happy holidays mom from my family to you
00:07:11bad news boss the agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife
00:07:18failed last minute wait she bailed and who is
00:07:21who is she whatever it doesn't matter I've got what I need
00:07:31Sam don't worry about it I already found someone
00:07:35okay well I think it's time for us to go Christmas shopping waits for no one
00:07:45Christmas shopping I should come look if you want me to be the husband in this
00:07:51fake it to your family plan I think I should have some say in the gifts
00:07:55we'll make it more believable
00:07:56fine yeah fine okay you can come
00:08:03let's go which mall we going to
00:08:12oh let's go to the bank
00:08:16what the actual fuck
00:08:24Sam is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again
00:08:32get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with
00:08:35she does kind of look like him
00:08:41so when we give these gifts to my parents we will say they're from you
00:08:47here let me get this
00:08:50I'm gonna love you Max
00:08:53oh so I was uh thinking that since we're married we should probably kiss once or twice in front of them
00:09:05okay should we use our tongues or no no definitely not and absolutely no sex yes
00:09:13this is strictly business
00:09:16anything physical outside of that is not happening
00:09:19what afraid you'll fall for me
00:09:23I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas
00:09:29here
00:09:38what are you doing
00:09:39I'd never let my woman pick up the tab
00:09:41well I'm not your woman and this isn't a real relationship and I don't want your money
00:09:48attention shoppers all bakery items are now 50% off
00:09:5350% off pies
00:09:54quick go grab a dozen pumpkin pies
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies I hear this right
00:09:58they're the best kind
00:09:59hurry up and go go what are you standing here for
00:10:02hello there
00:10:05hi
00:10:05you ready
00:10:06yes yeah just these things
00:10:07okay great
00:10:08we have a holiday special today
00:10:11spend 500 get 10% off
00:10:13and you are just short 15 bucks if you want to take advantage of the deal
00:10:17oh great yeah uh what do you have that's just 15 bucks
00:10:20will you get a move on
00:10:22I just got here relax
00:10:25yeah yeah
00:10:26here this will do the trick
00:10:30okay thank you
00:10:31hurry up and pay
00:10:34I will pay when I'm ready you can wait your turn
00:10:41thank you
00:10:45damn my fake wife has some fire in her
00:10:47oh wait wait not the pies
00:10:54not the pies
00:10:55you can just set those on top
00:10:57hi guys
00:11:03gonna hand you
00:11:05all these pies
00:11:06of course
00:11:10thank you so much
00:11:12of course I hope you like pumpkin
00:11:13thank you
00:11:15she bought all 12 pies
00:11:17don't worry I have enough for everybody
00:11:18just to give it away
00:11:19thank you
00:11:21merry christmas
00:11:22what
00:11:27do you do that often
00:11:30as often as I can
00:11:32we should go
00:11:37we gotta pick up paper
00:11:38sit watch out
00:11:42you done feeling me up
00:12:03shut up
00:12:05oh sorry I was just in character
00:12:07wifey
00:12:07well stay out of character
00:12:09until christmas
00:12:10and don't be late
00:12:16Harrison
00:12:28Harrison group
00:12:28do you do construction for them or something
00:12:31sorta
00:12:32not that I'm judging
00:12:34I just need to get my story straight
00:12:37or my mom will eat both of us alive
00:12:38why don't we say that you do mid-level management
00:12:42for Harrison group
00:12:42I think that's respectable
00:12:44can we pick another company
00:12:46no
00:12:48Harrison group is perfect
00:12:49and they'll find it impressive
00:12:51my cousin's husband works for them too
00:12:52so
00:12:53perfect
00:12:54oh and uh
00:13:00wear something nice
00:13:01for christmas dinner
00:13:02don't worry
00:13:03okay I clean up nicely
00:13:04I wouldn't embarrass you
00:13:06too much
00:13:09let's go Sam
00:13:30it's time to check out the new HQ site
00:13:32hold on you're covered in water
00:13:34and you have a hair on your shoulder
00:13:36and it's not yours
00:13:37it's my daughter's
00:13:40my daughter's
00:13:41give me a DNA test
00:13:43for that little girl
00:13:44that he's with
00:13:45hey there they are
00:14:01hey
00:14:01nice to meet you
00:14:03oh
00:14:03dad
00:14:04so glad you made it
00:14:06oh
00:14:07I missed you
00:14:08so
00:14:09where's this mysterious
00:14:11husband we heard all about
00:14:12he's coming
00:14:13please don't tell me
00:14:15Maximus bailed
00:14:16good good good
00:14:17so
00:14:18heard you got a new hubby sweetie
00:14:21when's he arriving
00:14:23oh
00:14:24it's probably just some story
00:14:25she cooked up
00:14:26to stop people talking
00:14:27poor thing
00:14:28not surprising
00:14:29I mean
00:14:30she's 30
00:14:31once a woman hits that age
00:14:33you become undateable
00:14:34plus a kid looks so bad
00:14:37on dating apps
00:14:39this is exactly why
00:14:42I refuse to come home
00:14:43single this Christmas
00:14:44Auntie Pamela
00:14:45Debbie
00:14:46my dating life
00:14:47quite frankly
00:14:48is none of your concern
00:14:49we're only worried
00:14:51about you
00:14:51all these years
00:14:52without a husband
00:14:53zip it Pamela
00:14:55you know
00:14:57you always spoiled her
00:14:58rotten
00:14:59and look what happened
00:15:00she got knocked up
00:15:01out of wedlock
00:15:02raising a kid
00:15:03all alone
00:15:04I'm not alone
00:15:05and what does this
00:15:08mysterious husband do
00:15:10he's a manager
00:15:13manager
00:15:14of what
00:15:16trash
00:15:17probably a cover
00:15:19for criminal activity
00:15:21you don't have to lie
00:15:24to us Eva
00:15:24actually
00:15:26he's right here
00:15:29oh wow
00:15:32wow
00:15:34he is really good looking
00:15:37ah
00:15:38must be AI
00:15:39mm-hmm
00:15:40congratulations Eva
00:15:41on your photoshop skills
00:15:43fake
00:15:43that's enough
00:15:44she's our daughter
00:15:45and your niece
00:15:47show some respect
00:15:48remember last year
00:15:50when I introduced you
00:15:51to my husband's nephew
00:15:53William
00:15:53and you turned him down
00:15:55well guess what
00:15:57William works for
00:15:58the Harrison group now
00:15:59makes 500 grand
00:16:01a year
00:16:02that's half
00:16:04a million
00:16:04half a million
00:16:06girls are lining up
00:16:07for him
00:16:08all the way
00:16:08to New York
00:16:09and speak
00:16:11of the devil
00:16:12Willie
00:16:15you made it
00:16:17there you are
00:16:29oh look at you
00:16:30now
00:16:31living the dream
00:16:33oh just
00:16:34think Eva
00:16:35well you could be
00:16:36driving around
00:16:36in a car like that
00:16:37had you not married
00:16:38that criminal waste
00:16:40manager
00:16:41so married huh
00:16:42is it
00:16:43serious
00:16:44that's what marriage is
00:16:46it's pretty serious
00:16:47wow
00:16:49you must have rushed
00:16:50the time of the night
00:16:51huh
00:16:51makes sense though
00:16:53you not being
00:16:54a hot young thing
00:16:55anymore
00:16:56dragging that kid around
00:16:58with no daddy
00:16:58yeah
00:16:59a bullet dodged
00:17:01Willie
00:17:01meanwhile you're climbing
00:17:03the Harrison group ladder
00:17:04that's right
00:17:06just bought this brand new
00:17:08suit
00:17:09my Christmas bonus
00:17:10women love a man in red
00:17:12sexy
00:17:14like Santa Claus
00:17:15when I sit on my lap
00:17:17don't touch me
00:17:19oh so entitled
00:17:20Williams
00:17:22a successful man
00:17:23of taste
00:17:24not waste
00:17:25and yet
00:17:26for some reason
00:17:27he's willing to overlook
00:17:28your baggage
00:17:29I mean look at that car
00:17:31did your husband afford
00:17:33anything even close to that
00:17:35think of the life
00:17:36I can give you
00:17:36and Piper
00:17:36with all my Harrison group money
00:17:38ditch your nobody husband
00:17:40and marry me instead
00:17:42I wouldn't marry you
00:17:44if you were the last man
00:17:45on first
00:17:46my mom would never marry
00:17:52she already has a husband
00:17:53he's gonna kick your butt
00:17:55is that so
00:18:00well then
00:18:01where is he
00:18:02because
00:18:03I don't see him
00:18:04does anyone see him
00:18:06no
00:18:09just like I thought
00:18:10telling lies
00:18:12just like mommy
00:18:13that puts you on
00:18:15the naughty list
00:18:15and let me show you
00:18:18what happens
00:18:18to naughty children
00:18:19hey
00:18:22mommy
00:18:23are you okay
00:18:25see your hands
00:18:26oh my god
00:18:27I'm gonna take her in
00:18:28and get her packed up
00:18:29okay
00:18:29come on
00:18:30let's go
00:18:31what the hell's the matter
00:18:33with you
00:18:34how dare you put your
00:18:36filthy hands on my daughter
00:18:37let me go
00:18:40now why would I go
00:18:42and do a thing like that
00:18:43when I'm having such a good time
00:18:45let me go
00:18:46touch my wife again
00:19:02and I will snap every finger
00:19:03that you've got
00:19:04max you came
00:19:09don't worry sweetie
00:19:10where's piper
00:19:14william hitter
00:19:16mom dead
00:19:17take her inside
00:19:18well it looks like
00:19:19we have a real
00:19:20grinch to dispose of
00:19:21well well well
00:19:23if it isn't a waste
00:19:24marriage
00:19:24I've been hearing
00:19:25so much about
00:19:26that's right
00:19:27now I'm about to take
00:19:30take out the trash
00:19:30oh
00:19:33mr. and mrs. smith
00:19:35it's an honor to meet you
00:19:36I'm max
00:19:37eva told us all about you
00:19:39from new york
00:19:40polite
00:19:41handsome
00:19:41just like she said
00:19:43wow
00:19:44he was an ai
00:19:46see
00:19:47he's real
00:19:48and he's more of a man here
00:19:50than william would ever dream to be
00:19:52son of a bitch
00:19:53you just ruined my suit
00:19:55and watch the way that you drive that
00:19:56that pristine automobile
00:19:58that car
00:20:00oh my god
00:20:02that's worth more than a house
00:20:03that car
00:20:05it was all over the news
00:20:06when the CEO of the Harrison group bought it
00:20:09wait
00:20:10are you?
00:20:16like I said
00:20:17I'm just Eva's husband
00:20:19and that's all he needs to know
00:20:21I'm not here to put on a show for anyone
00:20:24you really are a criminal aren't you?
00:20:26you stole it
00:20:27that car belongs to the CEO of my company
00:20:29Jesus
00:20:30how did he get away with it?
00:20:32that's what I want to know
00:20:33enough
00:20:34please
00:20:35I trust my daughter
00:20:38she would never marry a criminal
00:20:40Max
00:20:43be honest with me
00:20:44where did that car come from?
00:20:47how much did you want for it?
00:20:49I'll pay you more money than you'd make it
00:20:51three lifetimes
00:20:52sir
00:20:53you need a breath mint
00:20:55all right that's it
00:20:58I'm calling the cops
00:20:59oh way ahead of you
00:21:01wait
00:21:02what?
00:21:04are you feeling nervous Eva?
00:21:07oh well
00:21:07too late
00:21:09listen hon
00:21:16I believe you
00:21:17but
00:21:18how could
00:21:19Max
00:21:20afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith
00:21:23don't worry
00:21:23it's my car
00:21:24okay
00:21:25it's not stolen
00:21:25yeah
00:21:26if it's yours
00:21:27then prove it
00:21:28thank you
00:21:29cops will be here
00:21:30in 15 minutes
00:21:32enjoy Christmas behind bars
00:21:34okay
00:21:34I'll prove that it's mine
00:21:36but then you have to get lost
00:21:37and never show your face
00:21:39around my wife or child again
00:21:40oh
00:21:41so you're a tough guy huh?
00:21:43well I hope they serve eggnog in prison
00:21:45loser
00:21:46say one more word
00:21:47and I'll give him a real reason
00:21:48to take me in
00:21:49Jesus
00:21:51maybe he is a crime boss
00:21:53it's kind of sexy though
00:21:55here
00:21:58title and proof of ownership
00:22:00Mr. Harrison?
00:22:13Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18just leave me alone
00:22:19Merry Christmas Willie
00:22:21now get the fuck out of here
00:22:23before I kick your ass
00:22:25all the way up to the North Pole
00:22:26yes sir
00:22:27I'm so sorry sir
00:22:28I-I-I-
00:22:29please take me seriously
00:22:31please
00:22:31please
00:22:32oh
00:22:42that William
00:22:44what a jerk
00:22:45huh?
00:22:46you fooled me
00:22:47what can I say?
00:22:48let's not let this little
00:22:49misunderstanding
00:22:50ruin the holidays
00:22:52oh now
00:22:52you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54oh come on
00:22:55even
00:22:55we were just looking out
00:22:56for you
00:22:57please forgive us
00:22:58Mr. Harrison
00:22:59you know my youngest son
00:23:01is graduating
00:23:01soon
00:23:02do you think that
00:23:04you could help him
00:23:05get his foot in the door?
00:23:06a job at the Harrison group
00:23:08even in the mail room
00:23:10would open doors
00:23:11we are family aren't we?
00:23:13family takes care of each other
00:23:14if you guys want a job
00:23:17at the Harrison group
00:23:18you can put in an application
00:23:19like everyone else
00:23:20Abigail
00:23:21come on
00:23:22talk to her for us
00:23:24didn't you just say
00:23:25that my daughter
00:23:26was undateable?
00:23:27yeah
00:23:28I think you need to take care
00:23:29of your own issues first
00:23:30my daughter
00:23:31is just
00:23:32far too busy
00:23:33for your best life
00:23:34for my new son-in-law
00:23:36come on guys
00:23:37let's go in
00:23:38welcome to the family
00:23:39welcome
00:23:43come on
00:23:44this is your fault
00:23:49Pam
00:23:50you can't tell the difference
00:23:51between AI and reality
00:23:53my fault
00:23:54you were the one
00:23:55who was pushing her
00:23:56onto that worm
00:23:57William
00:23:58hey
00:24:08how do you have that car
00:24:09and how do you know
00:24:11the CEO of Harrison group
00:24:12and how do you
00:24:13I told you
00:24:13I work for Harrison group
00:24:15remember
00:24:15I have a friend
00:24:17in high places
00:24:17a friend who just
00:24:19hands you keys
00:24:20to million dollar
00:24:21one of a kind
00:24:21luxury cars
00:24:22yes
00:24:23it's the season of giving
00:24:25he knows people
00:24:26has connections
00:24:28he's a big deal
00:24:29kind of guy
00:24:30you're a crime boss
00:24:31aren't you
00:24:32yeah
00:24:32and you best not forget it
00:24:34capisce
00:24:34oh my god
00:24:35just don't blow your cover
00:24:36dad
00:24:39mom
00:24:39thank you so much
00:24:41for letting Max and I
00:24:42stay in your home
00:24:43oh honey
00:24:43we're just
00:24:44so happy that
00:24:45you found such a
00:24:46handsome
00:24:47strong
00:24:49good looking
00:24:50I think they get it
00:24:52huh
00:24:52uh
00:24:54how's Piper
00:24:55oh she's fine
00:24:56one of you guys
00:24:57just get settled in
00:24:59and we will go check on her
00:25:00and if your mom
00:25:01takes a cold shower
00:25:02we'll come back
00:25:03and finish decorating
00:25:04the tree
00:25:05great
00:25:06see you in a bit
00:25:07Joey
00:25:07what are you doing
00:25:09okay
00:25:11hey was that not
00:25:14a breach of contract
00:25:16relax
00:25:19it was just a hug
00:25:20ugh
00:25:22we just got here
00:25:25and I'm already exhausted
00:25:26you'll be okay
00:25:27it's just one week
00:25:29kill me now
00:25:30well I would
00:25:31but
00:25:31I need to get paid
00:25:32what are you doing
00:25:38that's weird
00:25:40they were so lovey-dovey
00:25:42just a second ago
00:25:43and
00:25:43I don't know
00:25:44something just fills off
00:25:45that's ridiculous
00:25:47I mean
00:25:48what do you want to do
00:25:49make out progress
00:25:50to prove it
00:25:51later
00:25:54let's go
00:25:58here we go
00:26:03Piper is all tucked in
00:26:06honey
00:26:06everything looks amazing
00:26:07and happy holidays
00:26:09to the newest member
00:26:10of our family
00:26:11Max
00:26:11aww
00:26:12welcome
00:26:13cheers
00:26:14cheers
00:26:15thank you miss Smith
00:26:16looks great
00:26:17oh just call me mom
00:26:19honey
00:26:19I had no idea
00:26:21what you liked
00:26:21so I just
00:26:22whipped up a little bit
00:26:23of everything
00:26:24but we all know
00:26:25what Eva's
00:26:26favorite Christmas
00:26:27dish is right
00:26:28oh no
00:26:29mom's testing him
00:26:30she's trying to see
00:26:31if he's legit
00:26:32you mean to tell me
00:26:33you two are married
00:26:34and you don't even know
00:26:35my baby girl's
00:26:35favorite food
00:26:36ow
00:26:40Eva sweetie
00:26:41kicking my foot
00:26:43oh sorry mom
00:26:44oh jeez
00:26:46oh look what you
00:26:47it's okay
00:26:48look mom
00:26:49of course he knows
00:26:50it's
00:26:50I would like to hear
00:26:52Max say it
00:26:5212 pumpkin pies
00:27:07did I hear this right
00:27:07they're the best kind
00:27:09well of course
00:27:11it's pumpkin pie
00:27:13see
00:27:14are you happy now
00:27:16that's good
00:27:17but something
00:27:17still falls off
00:27:18mom
00:27:19don't make it weird
00:27:20okay
00:27:21we had a
00:27:22whirlwind romance
00:27:24and we eloped
00:27:25before we got to know
00:27:26everything about each other
00:27:27but our marriage
00:27:28is real
00:27:29I guess your mom's
00:27:30just watching too many
00:27:31of those real
00:27:32short shows
00:27:33now those
00:27:35are quality
00:27:36okay
00:27:37okay well
00:27:38then answer this
00:27:39where's your wedding ring Eva
00:27:41where's your wedding ring Eva
00:27:45I knew it was a good idea
00:27:49to pick this up
00:27:50well
00:27:51um
00:27:52it's
00:27:53silly face
00:27:54dropped it outside
00:27:55on the sidewalk
00:27:56luckily I was there
00:27:58to pick it up for
00:27:59silly face
00:28:00and
00:28:01I am not paying
00:28:03extra for this
00:28:04consider it a Christmas gift
00:28:05it's losers
00:28:07it's nice
00:28:09you can afford this
00:28:10on a waste manager's salary
00:28:12well believe it or not
00:28:13miss smith
00:28:14there is a lot of garbage
00:28:15out there
00:28:16and I'm not just talking
00:28:17about William
00:28:17I'll drink to that
00:28:19I agree with you there
00:28:21so come on guys
00:28:23let's see
00:28:23thank you
00:28:31and
00:28:37this is where
00:28:38y'all will be staying
00:28:39I have another room
00:28:40set up for Piper
00:28:41nice and festive
00:28:43for you
00:28:44no complications
00:28:45sorry honey
00:28:47uh mom
00:28:48you know what
00:28:48I should stay with Piper
00:28:50tonight
00:28:50oh honey
00:28:51newlyweds
00:28:52shouldn't sleep apart
00:28:53oh
00:28:56I just remembered
00:28:57the city's turning
00:28:58the water off at 10
00:28:59something about
00:28:59water conservation
00:29:01that means you have
00:29:0115 minutes to shower
00:29:0315 minutes
00:29:04honey it's no big deal
00:29:07just shower together
00:29:08shower together
00:29:10just shower together
00:29:14okay you guys
00:29:15have a good night
00:29:16okay
00:29:17you heard
00:29:22why are you
00:29:45stripping
00:29:46well I can't take a shower
00:29:48with my clothes on
00:29:49come on
00:29:50we're wasting time
00:29:50you have 15 minutes
00:29:51nice try
00:29:52I am not showering
00:29:53with you
00:29:54alright
00:29:54suit yourself
00:29:55more room for me
00:29:56in there
00:29:56not if I meet you
00:29:58there first
00:29:59come on Max
00:30:16get out of the way
00:30:18we agreed
00:30:19nothing physical
00:30:20you're the one
00:30:21with the dirty thoughts
00:30:22wifey
00:30:22relax
00:30:23I won't touch you
00:30:24unless you say
00:30:26you want me to
00:30:27but that'll cost
00:30:30extra
00:30:31in your dreams
00:30:41free to join me
00:30:43you know if you keep
00:31:04staring at my ass
00:31:05you're not gonna have
00:31:05me shower or water
00:31:06left
00:31:07you wish
00:31:08why don't you get in
00:31:09pray you'll call for me
00:31:11it's you
00:31:13who has to worry
00:31:14about resisting me
00:31:15oh yeah
00:31:15true
00:31:17holy shit
00:31:30this is
00:31:34going to be harder
00:31:36than I thought
00:31:37I'll say
00:31:38what happened
00:31:39to all that
00:31:40cool guy
00:31:40confidence
00:31:41still think
00:31:43you can resist
00:31:43baby
00:31:45I don't think
00:31:47I want you
00:31:48or maybe we should
00:31:58god
00:31:59he's such a good
00:32:00kisser
00:32:01why does this
00:32:02feel so
00:32:03familiar
00:32:05max we cannot do
00:32:22this
00:32:23what I didn't mean
00:32:25to cross
00:32:26it's not you
00:32:27max it's us
00:32:28it's this
00:32:28this is all an act
00:32:29let's not make it
00:32:30more complicated
00:32:31than it is
00:32:32you're right
00:32:33I'm sorry
00:32:36I just don't need
00:32:37to be sorry
00:32:38just
00:32:38that birthmark
00:32:48what is that
00:32:53it's him
00:32:56the man from
00:32:56new years
00:32:57is he
00:32:58Piper's father
00:32:59why are you
00:33:03acting
00:33:04oh my god
00:33:07max is
00:33:08Piper's father
00:33:09are you okay
00:33:11yeah
00:33:12I just
00:33:13I just got
00:33:15lightheaded
00:33:15I think I just
00:33:16need a few more
00:33:17minutes
00:33:17alone
00:33:18of course
00:33:21we have a
00:33:24daughter together
00:33:25oh my god
00:33:26what do I do
00:33:28I'm gonna sleep
00:33:34on the floor
00:33:35you can take
00:33:36the bed
00:33:37thanks
00:33:38hey
00:33:41are you sure
00:33:43you're okay
00:33:43look
00:33:44fake marriage
00:33:45aside
00:33:45I'm your husband
00:33:47for the next few
00:33:47days
00:33:48so if there's
00:33:48something you need
00:33:49I can help
00:33:50I wanna help
00:33:52he's Piper's father
00:33:54he has a right
00:33:55to know
00:33:56um
00:33:57max
00:33:58how would you
00:34:00feel
00:34:01if you found out
00:34:02you had a kid
00:34:03a child
00:34:07no no no
00:34:09that's
00:34:09that's impossible
00:34:10I'm
00:34:11very
00:34:11careful
00:34:12mostly
00:34:14I just mean
00:34:16I'm not the type
00:34:17of guy to sleep
00:34:18around
00:34:18family to me
00:34:19is a big
00:34:20commitment
00:34:20and I don't
00:34:22want any
00:34:22loose ends
00:34:23you know
00:34:24right
00:34:25he wouldn't
00:34:27want a kid
00:34:27tying him down
00:34:28I shouldn't
00:34:29tell him
00:34:29about Piper
00:34:30why do you
00:34:32ask
00:34:32no reason
00:34:34just
00:34:34just curious
00:34:35no I
00:34:36feel like
00:34:37you're
00:34:38going somewhere
00:34:39with this
00:34:39what
00:34:40no
00:34:42well then
00:34:43can I ask
00:34:44you a question
00:34:45shoot
00:34:46where did you
00:34:52get these
00:34:52and how did
00:34:53you know
00:34:54my exact
00:34:54size
00:34:55I
00:34:55did not
00:34:56get those
00:34:57I don't
00:34:57know where
00:34:58those came
00:34:58from
00:34:59are you
00:34:59sure
00:34:59you're
00:35:00just
00:35:00not
00:35:00trying
00:35:00to
00:35:01break
00:35:02the
00:35:02contract
00:35:02you
00:35:19the truth
00:35:20is
00:35:21is that
00:35:22I
00:35:22go
00:35:25go
00:35:25go
00:35:26just a second
00:35:28come in
00:35:29hey
00:35:31oh
00:35:42sorry for
00:35:44interrupting
00:35:44but
00:35:45Piper is
00:35:46asking for
00:35:46a bedtime
00:35:47story
00:35:47before I
00:35:48tuck her in
00:35:49think you
00:35:49could take
00:35:49this one
00:35:50dad
00:35:50we're
00:35:50kind of
00:35:51in the
00:35:51middle
00:35:51of
00:35:51something
00:35:52I can
00:35:53see
00:35:53that
00:35:53well
00:35:55why don't
00:35:55I read
00:35:55it to
00:35:56her
00:35:56I mean
00:35:57if you
00:35:57don't
00:35:57if you
00:35:57don't
00:35:57mind
00:35:58well
00:35:59attaboy
00:36:00you know
00:36:00what
00:36:00just
00:36:01put
00:36:01a
00:36:01shirt
00:36:01on
00:36:02I'm
00:36:02gonna
00:36:02go
00:36:02get
00:36:03her
00:36:03Piper
00:36:04here
00:36:05comes
00:36:05grandpa
00:36:05he
00:36:08sprang
00:36:09to his
00:36:09sleigh
00:36:09to his
00:36:10team
00:36:10gave
00:36:11a
00:36:11whistle
00:36:11and away
00:36:12they
00:36:12all
00:36:13flew
00:36:13like
00:36:14the
00:36:14down
00:36:14of
00:36:14a
00:36:14thistle
00:36:15but
00:36:16I
00:36:16heard
00:36:16him
00:36:16exclaim
00:36:16as
00:36:17he
00:36:17drove
00:36:18out
00:36:18of
00:36:18sight
00:36:18Merry
00:36:20Christmas
00:36:20to
00:36:20all
00:36:21and
00:36:22to
00:36:22all
00:36:22a
00:36:23good
00:36:23night
00:36:24if
00:36:27Piper
00:36:27knew
00:36:27he
00:36:27was
00:36:28her
00:36:28real
00:36:28dad
00:36:28she'd
00:36:29be
00:36:29over
00:36:29the
00:36:29moon
00:36:29good
00:36:31night
00:36:31Piper
00:36:31is
00:36:36her dad
00:36:36still
00:36:36around
00:36:37yeah
00:36:38but he
00:36:39doesn't
00:36:39know
00:36:39it
00:36:39because
00:36:40you
00:36:41are
00:36:41her
00:36:41dad
00:36:41no
00:36:42that
00:36:43man
00:36:44has
00:36:44no
00:36:44idea
00:36:45what
00:36:46a
00:36:46treasure
00:36:46he's
00:36:48missing
00:36:48out
00:36:48on
00:36:49do you
00:36:52really
00:36:52think
00:36:52so
00:36:53from
00:36:54the
00:36:54bottom
00:36:54of
00:36:54my
00:36:54heart
00:36:55maybe
00:36:56I
00:36:57should
00:36:57tell
00:36:57him
00:36:57he
00:36:58deserves
00:36:58to
00:36:58know
00:36:58Max
00:37:05you
00:37:09are
00:37:10Piper's
00:37:11father
00:37:11I'll tell
00:37:18you
00:37:19when
00:37:19the
00:37:19time
00:37:19is
00:37:19right
00:37:19where's Piper
00:37:45she
00:37:46must
00:37:47have
00:37:47snuck
00:37:47off
00:37:47while
00:37:47we
00:37:48were
00:37:48asleep
00:37:48God
00:38:05he's
00:38:05such a
00:38:05good
00:38:05kisser
00:38:06just
00:38:15gonna kiss
00:38:15and run
00:38:16not on my
00:38:18watch
00:38:18yeah
00:38:22this
00:38:23I remember
00:38:25this
00:38:25good
00:38:36morning
00:38:36you two
00:38:37love
00:38:37bugs
00:38:38how
00:38:38was
00:38:38your
00:38:39stay
00:38:39at
00:38:39Chateau
00:38:40Smith
00:38:40good
00:38:41morning
00:38:42Miss
00:38:42Smith
00:38:42it was
00:38:43great
00:38:44wonderful
00:38:45well
00:38:45it's
00:38:45about
00:38:46to
00:38:46get
00:38:46even
00:38:46better
00:38:46oh
00:38:50no
00:38:50what
00:38:51is
00:38:51that
00:38:51sardines
00:38:52and saltines
00:38:53it's a
00:38:54Smith family
00:38:54classic
00:38:55it was my
00:38:56Graham Graham's
00:38:56favorite
00:38:57during wartime
00:38:58don't be shy
00:38:58go ahead
00:38:59grab a handful
00:39:00Max
00:39:02you don't have
00:39:02to
00:39:03no
00:39:03no
00:39:03it's
00:39:04okay
00:39:04it's
00:39:04Smith family
00:39:06staple
00:39:07good
00:39:26good
00:39:28scrumptious
00:39:30well you two
00:39:32better get dressed
00:39:33you gotta go see
00:39:33Aunt Miranda
00:39:34could I um
00:39:37could I have some
00:39:38water please
00:39:39that means there's
00:39:40no escaping
00:39:41Aunt Miranda
00:39:41and her brood
00:39:42this year
00:39:42what's the deal
00:39:44with them
00:39:44every year
00:39:45Aunt Miranda
00:39:46bullies Piper
00:39:47and I
00:39:47says Piper's
00:39:48a fatherless
00:39:49brat
00:39:49and I'm
00:39:50hey don't
00:39:52worry
00:39:53I'll protect
00:39:54you
00:39:54and Piper
00:39:55better have
00:39:58Sam on
00:39:58standby
00:39:59tonight
00:39:59just in
00:40:00case
00:40:00well
00:40:01looks like
00:40:03it's time
00:40:03to get
00:40:03dressed up
00:40:04then
00:40:04wait that
00:40:16earring
00:40:16wait
00:40:18that earring
00:40:20you like it
00:40:21I was so
00:40:22bummed when I
00:40:23lost the
00:40:23matching one
00:40:24years ago
00:40:24did you
00:40:25lose it
00:40:25seven years
00:40:26ago
00:40:27I don't
00:40:28really remember
00:40:28the details
00:40:29but luckily
00:40:30I was
00:40:31able to
00:40:32find a new
00:40:32pair
00:40:32right
00:40:34that's just
00:40:35a common
00:40:35earring
00:40:36anyone
00:40:36can have
00:40:37it
00:40:37maybe I'm
00:40:38reading too
00:40:38much into
00:40:38it
00:40:39she can't
00:40:40be the
00:40:40woman
00:40:40from seven
00:40:40years
00:40:41ago
00:40:41so Ava
00:40:44so Ava and
00:40:45Piper
00:40:45still aren't
00:40:47here
00:40:47but Derek
00:40:49said that
00:40:49Ava got
00:40:49married
00:40:50what kind
00:40:52of man
00:40:52could she
00:40:53possibly
00:40:53have landed
00:40:54an aging
00:40:55single mom
00:40:56slim pickings
00:40:58I heard
00:40:59he's in
00:40:59waste
00:41:00management
00:41:00that explains
00:41:02it
00:41:02she's probably
00:41:03too embarrassed
00:41:04to show up
00:41:05oh please
00:41:06Miranda
00:41:06Ava is
00:41:08your niece
00:41:08oh come
00:41:09on grandpa
00:41:10everyone knows
00:41:11Ava had a kid
00:41:12with a random
00:41:13one night stand
00:41:14her track record
00:41:15speaks for itself
00:41:16exactly
00:41:16not like my
00:41:17Sierra
00:41:18married to a
00:41:19legal advisor
00:41:20for Harrison
00:41:21Group
00:41:21oh
00:41:24they're here
00:41:25Merry Christmas
00:41:26everybody
00:41:27Merry Christmas
00:41:33everybody
00:41:34Merry Christmas
00:41:34you must be
00:41:37Grandpa Harold
00:41:38I am
00:41:38I'm Ava's
00:41:40husband
00:41:40Max
00:41:41pleasure to
00:41:41meet you
00:41:42welcome
00:41:42you're Ava's
00:41:43husband
00:41:43but
00:41:45you're
00:41:46gorgeous
00:41:47but
00:41:49what is
00:41:50handsome
00:41:50as you
00:41:51look at you
00:41:52two
00:41:52you look like
00:41:53you just
00:41:53stepped out
00:41:53of a movie
00:41:54Merry Christmas
00:41:55Grandpa
00:41:55this is
00:41:58from Max
00:41:58and I
00:41:59oh my goodness
00:41:59thank you
00:42:00Eva
00:42:00let me grab
00:42:02that for you
00:42:02daddy
00:42:03oops
00:42:04oh my bad
00:42:06ooh
00:42:06a homemade gift
00:42:08how thrifty
00:42:09not all gifts
00:42:11are about the price tag
00:42:12mommy's right
00:42:13you mean all
00:42:14high
00:42:14you little
00:42:16you will not lay
00:42:18a hand
00:42:19on my daughter
00:42:20or you will
00:42:21lose yours
00:42:21oh
00:42:22you think
00:42:24you broke
00:42:24my wrist
00:42:25look what you just
00:42:26did to my mother
00:42:27my husband
00:42:28is Harrison Group's
00:42:29top legal advisor
00:42:30he could ruin
00:42:31your life
00:42:32what are you
00:42:45are you okay
00:42:46I'm fine
00:42:47I'm just
00:42:47wet
00:42:48honey
00:42:48it's okay
00:42:49it's okay
00:42:50what are you
00:42:53don't you dare
00:42:56disrespect my husband
00:42:57did you just
00:42:58slap me
00:42:59next time
00:43:00it'll be
00:43:00a closed fist
00:43:01you're a fucking
00:43:02psycho
00:43:03you know what
00:43:03Sierra
00:43:03I can take
00:43:04your little insults
00:43:05but leave
00:43:05my family
00:43:06out of this
00:43:07her family
00:43:10she means me
00:43:12you okay honey
00:43:17do I look okay
00:43:19to you
00:43:19dumbass
00:43:20do something
00:43:21you don't know
00:43:22who you're messing
00:43:23with
00:43:23I've got the full
00:43:24weight of the
00:43:25Harrison Group
00:43:25behind me
00:43:26oh wow
00:43:27I'm sure the
00:43:27CEO would love
00:43:28to hear that
00:43:29you're using
00:43:30his company's
00:43:30name to bully
00:43:31people
00:43:32like you'd have
00:43:33any idea
00:43:34how a CEO
00:43:34thinks
00:43:35let's call him
00:43:36I'm sure he'd be
00:43:37more than happy
00:43:38to be on my side
00:43:39please
00:43:40who do you
00:43:40think you are
00:43:41enough
00:43:43there will be
00:43:45no arguing
00:43:46during Christmas
00:43:47fine dad
00:43:49let it go
00:43:50Nathan
00:43:51they're just
00:43:52jealous
00:43:53for grandpa's
00:43:55sake
00:43:55I'll let you
00:43:56off easy
00:43:56I think you
00:43:58owe Nathan
00:43:59a thank you
00:44:00I think you
00:44:01owe me a thank you
00:44:02for slapping some
00:44:03sense into you
00:44:04do you want me
00:44:04to get the other
00:44:05cheek
00:44:05alright that's
00:44:06enough
00:44:06everyone come
00:44:08inside
00:44:08and sit down
00:44:09is this a joke
00:44:30can you please
00:44:33pass me some food
00:44:34hold it
00:44:34who said you
00:44:35could eat
00:44:35anything else
00:44:36my husband
00:44:37and I
00:44:38paid for
00:44:39this feast
00:44:39my husband
00:44:44and I
00:44:44paid for
00:44:45this feast
00:44:46king crab
00:44:47fresh from
00:44:48Alaska
00:44:49and grass fed
00:44:50wagyu
00:44:50three times
00:44:52three times the
00:44:52price
00:44:52fifty times
00:44:54the flavor
00:44:54and you
00:44:55don't get a
00:44:56single bite
00:44:57it's just
00:44:58petty
00:44:58maybe so
00:44:59but gourmet
00:45:00food isn't
00:45:01meant for
00:45:02bottom feeders
00:45:03fine
00:45:04then we won't
00:45:06stay and eat
00:45:06with you
00:45:07come on
00:45:08let's go
00:45:08no no
00:45:09don't you dare
00:45:11leave our
00:45:12family dinner
00:45:12grandpa I'm
00:45:13sorry but
00:45:14they're treating
00:45:15us like
00:45:15I know dear
00:45:17I just want to
00:45:18have our family
00:45:18together
00:45:19fine
00:45:20we'll let the
00:45:21strays sit
00:45:21and eat
00:45:22with us
00:45:23they're a stray
00:45:23than a bitch
00:45:24what was that
00:45:25I just want to
00:45:30have our family
00:45:30together
00:45:31fine
00:45:32we'll stay
00:45:34can I have a
00:45:36little nipple
00:45:36it's okay sweetie
00:45:37we'll get something
00:45:39right after
00:45:40like drive-thru
00:45:41I hope you enjoy
00:45:43food poisoning
00:45:44that will be a
00:45:45particularly
00:45:46memorable
00:45:46Christmas present
00:45:48no strays
00:45:50Al
00:45:51jeez
00:45:51are you okay
00:45:52yes please
00:45:54you hit
00:45:55my child
00:45:55you're fucking
00:45:56crazy
00:45:57well if you
00:45:57teach her some
00:45:58manners
00:45:59maybe I
00:45:59wouldn't have to
00:46:01don't worry baby
00:46:05I'll handle it
00:46:06don't worry baby
00:46:10I'll handle it
00:46:11Piper
00:46:15sweetie
00:46:16are you ready
00:46:17to try the best
00:46:18food you've ever
00:46:18had in your life
00:46:19okay sweetheart
00:46:23give me two minutes
00:46:24and one phone call
00:46:25as if you have a
00:46:26chef on speed dial
00:46:28actually I do
00:46:29he's such a liar
00:46:32this ought to be
00:46:33hilarious
00:46:33oh
00:46:34it will be
00:46:35Sam
00:46:38yeah
00:46:39send the troops
00:46:40and bring that
00:46:41king crab
00:46:42from Antarctica
00:46:42I'm already
00:46:43on my way
00:46:44bring that
00:46:48king crab
00:46:49from Antarctica
00:46:50I'm already
00:46:50on my way
00:46:51you hear this guy
00:46:54he wants the best
00:46:55king crab
00:46:56in the world
00:46:57from Antarctica
00:46:58now I get why you
00:47:00married him
00:47:01Eva
00:47:01his silly delusions
00:47:03are just
00:47:03adorable
00:47:04Max
00:47:05what are you doing
00:47:06don't worry about it
00:47:07sweetheart
00:47:08Santa's already on his way
00:47:09actually
00:47:10five
00:47:12four
00:47:13three
00:47:14two
00:47:15one
00:47:17a helicopter
00:47:21there's no way
00:47:29how did you pull this off
00:47:35Sam is like family
00:47:36I thought I'd introduce you to
00:47:37thanks boss
00:47:38boss
00:47:40Eva's always been genuine
00:47:42with me
00:47:43maybe it's time she knew
00:47:44who I really am
00:47:45Eva I think it's time you
00:47:47actually know the truth
00:47:48I'm
00:47:49Maximus Harrison
00:47:51you're
00:47:53the CEO
00:47:54of Harrison Group
00:47:56come on
00:48:00you can stop
00:48:02kidding around
00:48:03if you were the CEO
00:48:04why would you be here
00:48:05pretending to be my husband
00:48:06no I actually am the CEO
00:48:09come on
00:48:09you can stop the charade
00:48:10okay this is just another favor
00:48:12from that bigwig friend
00:48:13isn't it
00:48:14Eva
00:48:14I'm not pretending
00:48:16Mr. Harrison
00:48:18the Antarctic king crab
00:48:20as you requested
00:48:21how is this possible
00:48:32this loser brings
00:48:34Antarctic king crab
00:48:36and has his own
00:48:37personal chef
00:48:39who are you
00:48:41I told you
00:48:41I'm Eva's husband
00:48:43that chef called him
00:48:45Mr. Harrison
00:48:45wait
00:48:46no
00:48:47hold on
00:48:48you're the actual CEO
00:48:51of the Harrison Group
00:48:52you're worth more than
00:48:55some whole countries
00:48:56some of the small ones
00:48:58I mean you know that
00:49:00you work for me
00:49:02oh god
00:49:03I insulted my own boss
00:49:05I'm finished
00:49:06I insulted my own boss
00:49:13I'm finished
00:49:15didn't think Max
00:49:16would commit this hard
00:49:17pretending to be CEO
00:49:19is a hell of a move
00:49:20worth every penny
00:49:21I'm paying him
00:49:22for tonight
00:49:22your fee stands
00:49:24and with that
00:49:25your career
00:49:26you're fired
00:49:28fired
00:49:29Sam
00:49:30fired
00:49:35oh god
00:49:35I can't be fired
00:49:37what
00:49:39Mr. Harrison please
00:49:41you can have as much crab
00:49:42as you want
00:49:43please
00:49:43Mr. Harrison
00:49:44I'll do anything
00:49:45guys
00:49:46take out the trash
00:49:48and you
00:49:54oh me
00:49:55Mr. Harrison
00:49:58come on
00:49:58that was a Christmas joke
00:50:00a family tradition
00:50:01yeah well
00:50:02there's a new family tradition
00:50:04Sam
00:50:05will you do me the honors
00:50:10gladly
00:50:12merry Christmas
00:50:17family
00:50:18father do something
00:50:22well you kind of deserve that
00:50:25I'm leaving
00:50:26mmm pumpkin
00:50:28my favorite
00:50:29come on sweetie
00:50:35daddy had the scrap line
00:50:37just for you
00:50:38eat as much as you want
00:50:39you're steady
00:50:41I am so sorry
00:50:45I ruined your Christmas
00:50:46I just couldn't take them
00:50:47treating you like that
00:50:48honestly
00:50:49this is the best Christmas
00:50:51I've ever had
00:50:52well if you want
00:50:53we can have many more
00:50:54just like this
00:50:55does he really mean that
00:50:57or is he just playing the part
00:50:59I can't tell
00:51:01and that terrifies me
00:51:07Merry Christmas
00:51:08Mrs. Harrison
00:51:09I brought you a gift
00:51:10I brought you a gift
00:51:10here's the paternity test
00:51:11between the boss
00:51:12and that little girl
00:51:12oh
00:51:13this is wonderful
00:51:20Sam I have a granddaughter
00:51:23tell me everything
00:51:25Miss Eva Smith
00:51:26single mother
00:51:27small town gal
00:51:28didn't finish high school
00:51:30currently works in retail
00:51:31oh Maximus
00:51:32I thought I raised you better
00:51:34a high school dropout
00:51:36in the Harrison family
00:51:38not a chance
00:51:41she is clearly
00:51:45unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:51:47Maximus seems to like her
00:51:49silence
00:51:49get me the address
00:51:51where she works
00:51:51it's Happy Heels
00:51:53on Broadway
00:51:53that's nice
00:51:54we own that one
00:51:56good work
00:51:57but take off that stupid hat
00:51:59thanks
00:52:10so your dad insisted
00:52:12that I try this wine
00:52:13that he's been saving
00:52:14for 20 years
00:52:14sounds like he's happy
00:52:17with his new son-in-law
00:52:18and how about you
00:52:20me?
00:52:24yeah
00:52:25are you happy
00:52:27with your new husband?
00:52:32Eva
00:52:32that birthmark
00:52:44family to me
00:52:45is a big commitment
00:52:47and I don't want
00:52:48any loose ends
00:52:49you know
00:52:50Maximus
00:52:51there's so much
00:52:52we don't know
00:52:53so much we're not
00:52:54telling each other
00:52:54no feelings
00:52:58no complications
00:52:58that's what we agreed upon
00:52:59yeah I didn't sign a contract
00:53:01Max
00:53:03yeah I guess you're right
00:53:04it's cold
00:53:07maybe I'll go grab
00:53:09some more firewood
00:53:10Max
00:53:12I need to tell you something
00:53:16something important
00:53:19what's gotten into her?
00:53:21is she hiding something?
00:53:23is this the part
00:53:24where you tell me
00:53:24there's no Santa?
00:53:26I haven't been
00:53:27completely honest with you
00:53:28Piper is
00:53:32Piper is
00:53:36mommy
00:53:37daddy
00:53:37my hand hurts
00:53:38sweetie
00:53:40oh my gosh
00:53:41it's unswollen
00:53:42must have been
00:53:42when that witch
00:53:43smacked her with the fork
00:53:44earlier
00:53:44listen you stay here
00:53:45with daddy
00:53:46mommy's gonna go
00:53:46get a first date kit
00:53:47okay
00:53:47come on Piper
00:53:51okay let me see
00:53:55I promise
00:53:59I won't let anyone
00:54:00hurt you or mommy again
00:54:02but that's not true
00:54:03you're leaving after Christmas
00:54:05aren't you?
00:54:07uh
00:54:08daddy
00:54:09no
00:54:10well
00:54:11don't you dare
00:54:18disrespect my husband
00:54:19well maybe I don't have to leave
00:54:24well maybe I don't have to leave
00:54:28really?
00:54:29please stay daddy
00:54:30you think it was scar?
00:54:37hmm
00:54:37I wouldn't worry about it
00:54:41scars make you look like a badass
00:54:42I have one too
00:54:44dad
00:54:45I got that when I was about your age
00:54:48some punk came at me with a switchblade
00:54:51really?
00:54:52no way
00:54:53no
00:54:54it was actually a cactus
00:54:55but it's still cool
00:54:57I have something like that on the back of my neck
00:55:01Piper
00:55:05how long have you had that?
00:55:07my mom's never had that when I was born
00:55:09and how old are you?
00:55:16six
00:55:16six?
00:55:18that one night stand was about seven years ago
00:55:20okay I found the first aid kit
00:55:22Ivor are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:28what do I even say?
00:55:29and how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:31sorry honey
00:55:32this man's your dad
00:55:33and he didn't know you existed till now
00:55:35um
00:55:37yeah
00:55:38can I see your hand sweetie?
00:55:42Eva
00:55:43okay look
00:55:48Piper is
00:55:52go on
00:55:58that must be an emergency
00:56:05excuse me
00:56:07sorry
00:56:08take this
00:56:09mommy are you okay?
00:56:17yeah
00:56:18mommy's just realizing she's a coward
00:56:21I don't even have the guts to tell the truth
00:56:25why haven't you picked up my calls
00:56:30I'm telling you Max
00:56:31that woman is manipulating you
00:56:33she's a high school dropout
00:56:35doesn't even have a decent job
00:56:37and she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:56:40I'm Eva's husband
00:56:41Max
00:56:42that man has no idea
00:56:44what a treasure
00:56:45he's missing out on
00:56:48I'm sorry Max
00:56:52you can't know Piper's your daughter
00:56:54your mother would take her away
00:56:55after Christmas
00:56:56it's over
00:56:58Eva?
00:57:01Maximus?
00:57:02are you even listening to me?
00:57:05no mom
00:57:05mom
00:57:05listen
00:57:06I'm sorry
00:57:06okay
00:57:07Eva's my wife
00:57:08and I've made up my mind
00:57:09I'm not leaving her
00:57:10Eva?
00:57:13thank you
00:57:20thank you
00:57:20thank you
00:57:21thank you
00:57:23oh thank you
00:57:24this is from you grandma
00:57:26oh wow
00:57:32that's so cool
00:57:34what did you make?
00:57:35uh Derek
00:57:35this is from
00:57:36Eva and I
00:57:38oh
00:57:38thank you so much
00:57:40thanks God
00:57:41glad you're here
00:57:42got it
00:57:45oh
00:57:45wow
00:57:46damn
00:57:47these are nice
00:57:48grandpa
00:57:49language
00:57:50little ears
00:57:51Piper
00:57:57do you want to go see your present?
00:57:58it's in the other room
00:57:59by the train set
00:58:00here I'll go with you
00:58:01remember the song that we sang?
00:58:03ready?
00:58:03ready?
00:58:04grandma got run over
00:58:05by a reindeer
00:58:06what do we got guys?
00:58:07walking home from our house
00:58:08Christmas Eve
00:58:09you never told me
00:58:15have we met before?
00:58:22have we met before?
00:58:25she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:58:28I don't know what you're getting at
00:58:32Eva
00:58:34I have the same birthmark
00:58:36as Piper
00:58:37I don't know what you're talking about
00:58:46lots of people have birthmarks
00:58:47they're very common
00:58:48I feel so awful
00:58:49but I can't lose my child
00:58:51no matter how I feel about him
00:58:53maybe
00:58:56are you okay?
00:59:02are the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:04no
00:59:06I'm fine
00:59:07um
00:59:09oh
00:59:11I almost forgot
00:59:12I got you this
00:59:15you got me a gift too?
00:59:17tis the season
00:59:18open it
00:59:20gloves
00:59:34did you make these?
00:59:37yeah
00:59:37I know this is a fake marriage
00:59:40but
00:59:40that's Christmas
00:59:41you've already done so much for me
00:59:44I just wanted to do a little something for you
00:59:45how do they feel?
00:59:49warm, right?
00:59:51yeah
00:59:51warm
00:59:53soft
00:59:55perfect
00:59:58thank you, Eva
01:00:03I've never gotten anything this meaningful before
01:00:06really?
01:00:10yeah, my mom
01:00:11she partied all the time
01:00:12and
01:00:13I got gifts
01:00:14plenty of them
01:00:15but
01:00:15I don't think she ever bought one herself
01:00:19nothing
01:00:20personal
01:00:21but you deserve it
01:00:23you're a good guy
01:00:26and
01:00:27someday you'll
01:00:28find
01:00:29someone special
01:00:31to
01:00:31spend all your Christmases with
01:00:33what if that day's today?
01:00:39what if I already found someone special
01:00:41right here?
01:00:43right here
01:00:44Max, we can't
01:00:58Max, we can't.
01:01:12If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:21I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:44I don't want you.
01:01:55Oh, God, you weren't trying to be working.
01:01:57I'm not trying to be this way.
01:02:02Piper!
01:02:11Piper!
01:02:14She can't see me.
01:02:15Piper!
01:02:30Piper!
01:02:33Eva?
01:02:34Piper!
01:02:34Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:51That was way too close.
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:03:00Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:01Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:08You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:15Let me give it to you.
01:03:31Let me give it to you.
01:03:33Why are you calling me to survey?
01:03:59Hello?
01:04:00Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:02I'm Max's mother.
01:04:03Name your price.
01:04:04What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:07What?
01:04:08We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:12Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:16My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:20Piper is my daughter.
01:04:22And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:25So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:04:27But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:32Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:38You okay?
01:04:43Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:46So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:50What are you talking about?
01:04:52It's over.
01:04:53It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:59Eva, wait!
01:05:03So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:10Max, it's not real.
01:05:12None of it was real.
01:05:13Look.
01:05:14So, this is just a goodbye.
01:05:18Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:21Look.
01:05:23Last night,
01:05:25I let my guard down.
01:05:27But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:30And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:32Just tell me what you need.
01:05:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband.
01:05:38A good father.
01:05:40Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:49I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:03I won't give up on us.
01:06:20Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:23As much as I don't want us to be,
01:06:26we're back.
01:06:30Piper.
01:06:31Sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32We're home.
01:06:37How can she just walk away?
01:06:46Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:47It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53You promised.
01:06:55Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:07:00All right, fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:07No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:07:11I know you and Mommy thought,
01:07:14but she still really likes you.
01:07:16So don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:18Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:19If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:07:20I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:07:26I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:28If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:07:29he doesn't.
01:07:30I'm in the middle of the room.
01:07:31To make people feel about you.
01:07:32They're the ones I love.
01:07:34Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:37Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:39Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:51Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:53Boss?
01:07:55Boss?
01:07:59Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:08:02I need to go win back my family.
01:08:05Family?
01:08:06Boss, you okay?
01:08:07Never better.
01:08:10Go get her, Max.
01:08:14Give it your best smile.
01:08:17Ah, there he is.
01:08:20Maximus, darling.
01:08:21I have some prospects for you.
01:08:24Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:29Oh.
01:08:32I told you, I already found the woman I love.
01:08:36What?
01:08:37Maximus, stop this.
01:08:43That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:47Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:50You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:53No, I'm not.
01:08:56Oh.
01:08:57I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:09:01I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:09:04What?
01:09:04What?
01:09:06What?
01:09:19Oh, that's her.
01:09:22The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:24Hi, welcome in.
01:09:28Can I help you find something?
01:09:30I want to try those.
01:09:34Awesome.
01:09:35I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:37Are you?
01:09:38Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:41No, no, no.
01:09:44I know what I want.
01:09:46Size seven.
01:09:49Oh, Biddy can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:53Come on.
01:09:53She wants the white shoes.
01:09:55Ignore her.
01:10:01She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:10:03Here, let me help you.
01:10:04One.
01:10:08She seems kind.
01:10:16I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:10:18She's just doing her job.
01:10:21How do they feel?
01:10:23Well, I love the style.
01:10:25It's too small.
01:10:26I think I need a size up.
01:10:29Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:33Right away.
01:10:35I'll be right back.
01:10:36She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:10:39Was I wrong about her?
01:10:55Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:58Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:01She can't walk.
01:11:04That's just pure evil.
01:11:07Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:11:11She's in a wheelchair.
01:11:14Who cares?
01:11:14It's the last pair.
01:11:16I get paid commission.
01:11:18I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:25I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:26See?
01:11:26This is your whole problem.
01:11:30This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:34I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:37I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:39She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:43People who insult her all day?
01:11:46I'm your manager.
01:11:51Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:11:54Did I stutter?
01:12:06You don't have to fire me.
01:12:09I quit.
01:12:16I don't work here anymore.
01:12:18Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:12:21They're broken.
01:12:22Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:24You're a good person, after all.
01:12:28Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:30I'm sorry?
01:12:33Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:36Get out!
01:12:42You're not disabled?
01:12:44Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:48Absolutely shameful.
01:12:50Who are you?
01:12:51I am the chairwoman.
01:12:54Of the Harrison Group.
01:12:56And the owner of this store.
01:12:58You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:13:00Mother of the CEO?
01:13:02I am.
01:13:03And you, my dear, are fired.
01:13:06What did I do?
01:13:08You are a good person?
01:13:11You are a good person.
01:13:14From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:13:16Are you serious?
01:13:20Are you serious?
01:13:23That's right.
01:13:25Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:28You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:33You are a good person.
01:13:34I am.
01:13:34I am.
01:13:34I am.
01:13:35I am.
01:13:35I am.
01:13:36I am.
01:13:37I am.
01:13:37I am.
01:13:38I am.
01:13:38Out!
01:13:39I'll leave.
01:13:43I'm leaving.
01:13:46I... I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:49No, don't worry. You're getting a promotion.
01:13:54You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:59First assignment? I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:14:07Pack it all up and bring it to my house, hm?
01:14:10Okay, yeah.
01:14:13Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:14:17I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:14:26She's the mother of Zio.
01:14:28Of course she lives like this.
01:14:37Mrs. Harrison? I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:45Max?
01:14:46Eva?
01:14:48What are you doing here?
01:14:50I, uh...
01:14:52There you are, Eva!
01:14:54Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:57My new daughter-in-law.
01:15:00What are you...
01:15:05That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:15:10Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:15:11Stop!
01:15:14And you?
01:15:15You lied to me at the store!
01:15:17You were both just testing me?
01:15:19Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:15:22I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:23I thought you might be using my son just after his money, but I was wrong.
01:15:28Eva, please.
01:15:29I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:31Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:15:34How could you think that of me?
01:15:36It's not like that, dear.
01:15:38Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:40Mom, what did you do?
01:15:43I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:46We're not together.
01:15:48And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:54I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:57What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:59Go after her!
01:16:04Eva.
01:16:05Let me go!
01:16:06I swear, it's not what you think.
01:16:07Look, we come from two completely different worlds.
01:16:09Stop pretending like you care!
01:16:10I'm not pretending!
01:16:12Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:16:14In everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:16:22Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:16:26Max, you came.
01:16:27God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:16:32I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:16:36Just say the word.
01:16:40See?
01:16:43Stop fighting.
01:16:46We belong together.
01:16:48You're wrong.
01:16:50Wrong about what?
01:16:52That you care?
01:16:54Or we belong together?
01:16:55Look, I already told you.
01:16:57We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:59Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:17:02I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:17:08Eva.
01:17:12Eva!
01:17:14I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:17:16Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:17:18Ow!
01:17:19Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:20Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:17:21Come here.
01:17:22No, you're not fine.
01:17:23You're sad.
01:17:24I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:25I'm fine.
01:17:26Come here.
01:17:27No, you're not fine.
01:17:28You're sad.
01:17:29I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:30I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:31I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:32I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:17:35Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:36Lovebug.
01:17:37You're right.
01:17:38What am I doing?
01:17:39Running like a cat?
01:17:40No, you're not fine.
01:17:41No, you're not fine.
01:17:42You're sad.
01:17:43No, you're not fine.
01:17:44You're sad.
01:17:45I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:47I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:52I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:17:57Don't you want to be with him?
01:18:00Lovebug.
01:18:02You're right.
01:18:03What am I doing?
01:18:04Running like a coward?
01:18:07I've always taught you to be brave.
01:18:10Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:18:13I believe in you.
01:18:14What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:18:17I know exactly what to say to him.
01:18:22Maximus deserves to know.
01:18:24Piper is his daughter.
01:18:26Enough sulking.
01:18:33Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:37Don't you think I want to?
01:18:40She doesn't want me.
01:18:42I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:43Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:44You can't abandon her.
01:18:46Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:47I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:51And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:55What are you talking about?
01:18:57I already ran a DNA test.
01:19:00Piper is your daughter.
01:19:02What?
01:19:04See for yourself.
01:19:05Look.
01:19:11I was right.
01:19:12Seven years ago.
01:19:14New years.
01:19:15That woman was evil.
01:19:26Eva!
01:19:27Hello.
01:19:29Hey.
01:19:31Daddy!
01:19:33Daddy!
01:19:34Piper!
01:19:37I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:45You came back.
01:19:48I, uh...
01:19:51Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:58I, uh...
01:20:01I was scared.
01:20:03But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:20:05Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:20:10Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:20:13I have something to tell you, too.
01:20:17Piper is your daughter.
01:20:19You knew.
01:20:21My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:23Grandma!
01:20:27Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:20:29But you've known this whole time?
01:20:31I was scared.
01:20:32Okay?
01:20:33I didn't know if you were gonna take her from me.
01:20:35I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:38How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:52I love you, Eva.
01:20:54I love you, too.
01:20:55I love you, too.
01:20:57I promise.
01:20:58For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:21:02As long as we're together,
01:21:04it doesn't matter where we are.
01:21:05Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:17For real this time?
01:21:19Y-yes!
01:21:21Yes, of course I'll marry you!
01:21:26Yes!
01:21:28Hi!
01:21:29Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas,
01:21:38and the Christmas after that,
01:21:39and forever!
01:21:42I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:49Who's that?
01:21:51Eva!
01:21:54Take me back!
01:21:55I'm sorry!
01:21:58I struck your tire!
01:22:02Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:22:05Again.
01:22:08No?
01:22:09Not funny?
01:22:10Yes, I will.
01:22:11I'll be right back.
01:22:13Bye!
01:22:14Bye!
01:22:15Bye!
01:22:16Bye!
01:22:18Bye!
01:22:20Bye!
01:22:22Bye!
01:22:24Bye!
01:22:36Bye!
01:22:38Bye!
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