- 1 day ago
Essence's Yes Girl Podcast spoke with Bozoma Saint John
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00two hits two hits from the content oh yes two hits from the content well actually because content
00:06sounds like continent yeah okay okay so bosom let's just get right into yes the full circle
00:13festival yes because bosom is back you guys welcome back yes girl one of our all-time
00:20favorite episodes on the show you came before and gave us a word yes oh okay you changed that
00:26but charlie seriously stop i need to know how you got boris and idris right and ghana you know i you
00:32know i love you step one but i need to get like right let's get right to it let's get right to it
00:36okay well what happened was um see boris and i are friends we've been friends and his father is
00:44ghanaan yes and so he had memories of his childhood in ghana you know trips to visit family etc uh but
00:52he hadn't really spent a lot of time there as an adult and i have and so when we met and realized
00:59that you know there were obviously common some commonalities um ways in which we could really
01:06have a good time uh together with our families in ghana we just made up our minds to go and hang out
01:13i was already going to go for christmas and new year's that was um december of 2017 i'd actually met
01:20the president of ghana in november of that year i received an award with the africa america institute
01:25and the president thank you and the president of ghana was also receiving an award in that same
01:30ceremony on behalf of the people of ghana and so while accepting my award i spoke in our native tongue
01:36you know to much applause thank you very much uh and he was enamored and said we should meet up when
01:44i came to ghana next and i was like in fact i'll be there next month see you soon with my friends
01:49right and friends plural yes people how many people you brought on this epic trip so let's see uh
01:56fast forward a full year later with lots of just word of mouth just telling people yeah um i did step
02:03out on faith and reserved about 40 rooms or so at my favorite hotel in ghana um that's okay you know
02:12next trip next trip next trip next trip go ahead okay okay y'all continue and there won't be a room
02:18for you okay i don't i don't want to get so threatening on this lovely wonderful but okay
02:23any case uh but it was you know really a faithful jump yeah and we started telling people and you know
02:31what i don't know if i fully thought that everybody would show up right because you get a lot of people
02:38who are like yeah yeah grandma come yeah i'm there what my room yes in fact give me three you know and
02:44then you're like you know the trip comes and people are like oh so you know so that work thing that have
02:50to do you know people drop out of things all of the time and i just felt like you know for all of the
02:56inconsistencies about the narrative of africa that anybody would find any excuse right i don't know
03:02ebola still running around i can't find my visa i don't know why something would be up and popping
03:08uh meanwhile 104 people 100 showed up people showed up you guys flooded the internet yes with images
03:17correct it was fantastic in in the way i would say we pepe them hot pepe yes yes all over the
03:27internet and now with it being the year of the return tell us a little bit more what that's
03:31about because it's really just about everybody coming home yes that's right so again the president
03:35of ghana was the one who initiated he went to the united nations uh proposed essentially a decree
03:41that 2019 would be the year of return marking 400 years of the beginning of the transatlantic
03:46slave trade uh it's a little known date which of course is terrible so we should all know this
03:52date which is august 20th 1619 was the first date that a captured african uh was recorded in jamestown
03:59virginia and i am specific in saying a captured african not a slave yes uh because these were people
04:05mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters and doctors and nurses and politicians and chiefs and
04:13cooks and seamstresses these were people who were living their full lives who were captured
04:19and that first person was legally recorded on august 20th 1619 uh and recorded in jamestown virginia
04:29now what is really interesting is that there's actually a jamestown in ghana too
04:32and so we are orchestrating a jamestown to jamestown return oh that's powerful yes that's right
04:39well we're going to be there for that it's the next time for us to get our lives together we have
04:43yeah get yourself and speaking of powerful folks what we love about you is everything that you
04:47do has so much impact you came before and talked about living fearless you being fearlessly and really
04:53i think inspired so many of us to go and just go for it and what we wear to work how we act at work
05:00the jobs we go for tell them you know what i mean and you look at all that you've done since you came
05:04to visit us it's been so exciting so i just i need to know like how does one wake up and live a
05:10completely fearless life because you don't just do it in the workplace no and you know what i don't
05:14know that it's um just innate it's practiced it is practicing you know and that i do have to talk to
05:21myself yeah while that sounds crazy and while the affirmations may seem maybe pithy or cliche
05:29i strongly believe in self-affirmation i mean oh absolutely there is not a morning okay that i
05:36don't look at myself regardless of how i feel by the way and tell myself how amazing i am in the
05:41mirror before i walk out that door i love it even today this casual wednesday you know what i mean
05:46this is casual casual casual casual wednesday okay fantastic and i looked at myself and i was like
05:53god damn you're good you know what i'm saying oh even in beige girl you still rock it give it you
05:59know you're giving us diamonds okay pearls nails yeah honey queens all of it it drops like yeah
06:08everything okay but it is practiced you know we walk out into the world especially as black women
06:14and there's enough subconscious sometimes unconscious unconscious all of the detrimental
06:25messages that we receive that tell us that we're not great that we're not pretty that we're not fierce
06:30that we're not we're not we're not exactly and so for me the self-affirmation which is required in
06:36my life that way i can walk into rooms boldly and feel like my ideas are worthy you know even
06:45prepping for a meeting before i go in you know of course doing my walk around yes to make sure i have
06:51my fans around to come into the meeting with me you know and by fans that's not casual but by the way
06:56that's not casual either you know that's essentially going to people that you know are going to have
07:01a word about what you're about to say yes and making sure that you understand what that thing is
07:05before you get in there either convincing them of your point of view or of understanding what the
07:11disagreement is going to be so you have your argument ready yeah and then walking into the room
07:17knowing that i am best prepared for that meeting is absolutely practice it's not accidental at all
07:23and it's not something that i take for granted or pretend is just by way of nature yeah you know some of
07:30it is nurture and practice you know what on the march issue you closed out our issue with a word
07:37with a word with a word it's phenomenal and reading it i was telling charlie this what i love the most is
07:44when you said and i know it came at a sad time and when your your husband passed away you learned to
07:51live urgent urgently yes there's something about that you were like i have to live urgently talk to me
07:56about talk to us about that but then also did that lead you now because pretty soon we're going to see
08:02you in front of the camera yes on tv show yes yes yes thank you so yeah i mean living urgently
08:09definitely came out of that moment you know the the really impetus for it was that my husband
08:14was diagnosed with cancer in may of 2013 and by december he was dead which was only six months i mean
08:21it was just it was absolutely shocking and devastating the words that i would use to describe
08:26it are probably not sufficient for the impact on our lives my daughter was four you know i was at the
08:32height of my career or felt like the height of my career at the time and it just felt like everything
08:37was going great you know and then here comes this horrible disease uh that decides to just rip our lives
08:45apart and i realized in that time that we really don't know how long we have you know and again
08:52while that might sound pithy and cliche because we all say that right carpe diem you know live for today
08:59live our full lives like you know we say these things but we don't act these things you know it's
09:05like we we do make the five-year plans to say in five years i'm going to why why do you do that
09:11and you also talk about that you basically threw your plan oh i threw it all the way out the window
09:15because the thing is it makes us lazy makes us complacent and so you start thinking i have time
09:20for that no you don't you don't actually none and by the way why not do it right now that way you have
09:27more time to do other things you have time to do more absolutely you know it's kind of like when you
09:31clean your house you know what i mean yeah like if you have a whole house to clean and you start out
09:38in the kitchen and you know do a little bit here and you sit down have a little snack you do a little
09:43more you call your girlfriend you know what i'm saying like you reach the end of the day and you
09:48all you did was clean the kitchen and you never get that but like if you concentrate clean that
09:53kitchen urgently you could probably then get to the bedroom and get to the bathroom and you know
09:59maybe attempt your closet you know what i'm saying like and you just feel so much more accomplished
10:04so for me i'd rather have the full tidy house as compared to my neighbor who only got through the
10:11kitchen like i'm gonna have a complete house by the time i'm done with this life and i think there's
10:15something really i know can we oh my god where's the gems but also what's really sticking speaking to
10:22my heart right now which you so often do is this idea of turning a tragedy into trajectory
10:27because come on charlie pants okay
10:31but that's what you know what i mean like we usually lay down and just have to like really
10:40lick our wounds or cuddle up with ourselves and try to heal yeah or you can just take off yeah from
10:45there yeah yeah and really you know and that is so hard yeah but it's so important it truly is it
10:51truly is now i'm not at all going to pretend like there aren't days and times when you need to lay
10:57down yeah you know because that's part of also our self-care yeah especially for black women we
11:01take on so much and then the world expects us to be so strong our families expect us to be strong
11:06our work expects us to be strong and so then we pretend as if the hurt isn't there i don't want to
11:12pretend as if the hurt isn't there the hurt is there and so we should take care of that and nurture
11:18it and be attentive to it honor it uh but it doesn't have to defeat us yeah you don't have to stay
11:24down and so for me again sometimes these things they sound like words on a t-shirt but but it's
11:30true that we have to put them into practice and so some days i do feel defeated you know like in
11:38december uh was five years since my husband has passed away and it it was a very heavy anniversary
11:46for me because i feel like every year comes and i think oh my gosh you know if he was still alive we
11:51would have done and we could have done and did it you know and grief has a way of making you do that
11:55all the time the things that you would have done or could have done or by this point we would have
12:00been it makes you regretful of of life yeah and i felt it so heavily that wow five years have passed
12:10you know my daughter has lived half her life already without her father my god how did we get here
12:16you know like the things that i have done in my own career have eclipsed anything that i could have
12:21dreamt of even then five years ago and i'm tired of carrying that heavy cloak of widowhood i'm tired
12:30and i had to recognize that even in the midst of all of the celebration of life and people high-fiving
12:38me for the show and oh your new brand new shiny job and oh instagram what's she wearing today
12:44you know and what event is she going to now and look she's hanging out with anthony anderson you
12:48know like all these things exactly right yeah yeah to your life you know yeah but but i had to
12:54recognize and realize that what i have been carrying is now too heavy for my life and then i have to lay
13:03it down a cloak that visual yeah i have to take i took it off we i was like take it off and you've
13:10impacted a lot of women and i know that now when i know they're in your dms i know you see them and
13:15they want to hug you and i know you get a lot of testimonies am i right yes it's true yeah how does
13:20that feel and what do you tell them you know i'm always surprised by it you have to be honest i'm
13:25always surprised because i feel like this is my story and my experiences and i don't know i think it's
13:33it's shocking to me that it touches other people or that anybody else feels this way yeah i guess maybe
13:39you could look at it and say well duh we are all human and we all feel certain things similar things
13:44we have empathy yeah um but i am surprised you know when women or men come up to me and share
13:52whatever experience they're having sometimes we cry together that's you know that's a it's a real thing
13:57because listen i'll cry on cue man like i'll be i'll be ready okay i'm like don't don't tell me a story
14:03i'll be in tears eyelash will fall off the whole thing so it's it's really but it's a blessing you
14:10know what a blessing that we're able to share what our hurts are what our triumphs are to give people
14:17hope and aspiration because again for me i feel that i actually don't agree with that statement that
14:24says you know you can't see you can't be unless you can see it something like that oh yeah people like
14:28say i don't like that statement right no no because i feel like a lot of us haven't seen it
14:33before what's to stop us from being so good do it that's a good point absolutely and so for me i take
14:40on the mission then of that that like you should see me and try to be what i'm doing but surpass it
14:46yeah yeah you know that i i just happen to be on this rung or in the ether somewhere but i'm not the
14:55goal you know and so when i'm interacting and i get those type of responses i'm like girl you better
15:00go on you know i'm not the destination for sure you know and by the way my life right now is not
15:06the destination for me right so i'm moving too we on a rocket ship yeah yeah let's keep going okay
15:12ain't nobody flowing down here let's go this way yeah let's keep going so i'm i'm always inspired then
15:18when i get the testimonies or somebody stops me in an airport or you know says like oh i saw you
15:26i saw your instagram you did you know i love it so much because it makes me feel like yeah okay
15:32yeah i'm inspired too let's go get them let's keep going let's do this together yeah it feels really
15:37good but i do think there's like thousands of women out there who wear their pink outfits to the boardroom
15:42and their braids and all those things because you said girl i did it yes and i appreciate that too
15:48right because we all need that kind of encouragement even just now with the two of you like you know
15:53hyping each other up i mean how good does that feel though when you walk in to an environment
15:58and you out of the corner of your eye you hear somebody girl you just did that okay you know like
16:04you feel excited because you know that somebody appreciated whatever you got going on and by the way
16:11it's not always superficial sometimes it's in your thoughts or your actions yeah i'm very inspired
16:16when i come out of a meeting and somebody's like that that idea whoo man that was that was one for
16:22the record books and maybe it didn't get approved or picked or whatever but i'm still happy that you
16:28appreciated it so i am i am also inspired when women see what i'm doing and give me a little bit of the
16:37girl you look good today that outfit though that's you those earrings yes i see you
16:43where did you get those pants yes speaking of before we go i see you office okay what look
16:50hello can we take a moment yeah hello this is that those of them are all over it yeah yeah i'm living
16:57i'm living the truth man you know yes because we got the original lyrics you know to one of our
17:04most historic hip-hop rap songs of all time because i want people to walk into this office
17:10and know exactly what they're dealing with and it's big as hell like it's like you will not miss
17:13exactly and by the way there's a message in there right i said a hip-hop okay the hippity
17:21the hippity to the hip yes i said okay exactly so you better come in here and speak my language
17:29or else yeah don't come in here and speak anybody else's this is my office and that's how we get it
17:34yes thank you for having us thank you so much i love you i love you thank you
17:40you
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