00:00Right then Joe, we know there's lots of written rules in golf that people adhere to, but there's
00:03lots of unwritten etiquette rules that I think we've seen broken quite a lot of times. You're
00:08right, there's a lot of faux pas, even golfing crimes I would consider committed out on a golf
00:13course sometimes. Yeah, so we put our heads together and came up with nine that we think
00:16are the biggest and the most often committed. Yes, and we've acted them out. We have. I'm
00:21playing the sort of well-educated, good etiquette golfer, and you're playing numbnuts. I'm playing
00:26a buffoon. You're absolutely right, but if you're watching BAFTA, call us.
00:33In no particular order Joe, we're starting with talking during someone's backswing, or even
00:37talking during someone's setup. Yeah, it's just a little bit inconsiderate. It's funny with golf
00:42because sometimes you get constant noise, so you might hear it now. We've got greenkeepers mowing,
00:46we went to live the other day, there was music playing. When that happens, it's not a problem,
00:49but you're playing silence most of the time, and all of a sudden, if that silence is just
00:53interrupted with a whisper or something, it is brutal, isn't it? Don't do it. Don't do it.
00:57Don't try not to whisper to your playing partner. Definitely don't pick up the phone,
01:00numbnuts, and just try and keep quiet during the swing.
01:06Next one we've got, and this is one of my particular bugbears, leaving a bunker unraked.
01:10It's one of the most inconsiderate things you can do on the golf course. You tell me why.
01:13This is just impolite. It's impolite to your playing partners, to people coming behind you who may
01:18end up in it, to the greenkeepers who look so studiously after the bunkers for you,
01:23and it's just a mess. It affects people's games, and it's basic decency and common sense.
01:27And bunkers are hard enough, and a decent lie, without being in someone's footprint.
01:31Rake your bunkers, please.
01:36Next up, Joe, not shouting four as your ball heads toward what might be people, houses, who knows.
01:41Just shout four.
01:42Yeah, just shout four. It's not only inconsiderate, it is downright dangerous. These little golf balls,
01:47at the speed they're travelling, are like bullets. We've seen some really serious incidents on the
01:51PGA Tour, and people getting hurt. And some of those players who don't shout on the PGA Tour
01:55bother me.
01:56Yeah.
01:56Don't be one of those. If you see your ball heading down the wrong fairway, or heading to
01:59anyone on the golf course, give them a nice, loud shout four and warn them.
02:03And even if you don't, if it's off target, give it a big shout.
02:05Just in case.
02:06You're covered then, just in case. Always shout four.
02:12Right, for the next one, we're here on the putting green. I think just about everyone who's ever played
02:16should know, but I've played with some who don't, you should never walk over someone's line when
02:21they're putting.
02:22Yeah, because if you've got big feet like you, or particularly big spikes on, and you walk on
02:26someone's line, it could affect their putt, couldn't it?
02:27Correct.
02:28It's rude, again, inconsiderate. So when you're doing it, just watch out for people's lines,
02:32maybe even ask, am I okay to stand there? It's okay to ask these sort of things,
02:36and don't ruin someone's putt. You can stop it from going in the hole.
02:38Furthermore, through lines. Did you ever think about through lines?
02:41What's a through line?
02:42Through line is a lot of stuff that's spoken about on tour. If you're putting from there, and you're coming
02:46this way, and I go and collect my ball out the hole this way, if someone misses the putt from there,
02:50and then has to putt through the spikes, it's always better to think about someone's through
02:53line as well. Just give that some thought.
02:55Hey, that's why we pay you the big bucks.
03:00Next up, Joe, assuming a putt is given in match play, I have fallen foul of this.
03:04Yeah, it's tricky ground though, isn't it? You know when you've got it into gimme range,
03:08and you know it's probably going to be conceded, but you have to wait to hear that. If you don't,
03:13and you just pick your ball up assuming it's been conceded, if you're playing
03:16against someone particularly vindictive, they can claim the hole. Loss of hole,
03:22you pick the ball up, you're out of the hole, and you're done.
03:24That's it, and my circle of friendship is very, very small.
03:26So I've heard.
03:30The next golfing crime I want to talk about is leaving your bag on the wrong side of the green,
03:36and general time waiting on the green.
03:38General faffing.
03:39Faffing would be fair.
03:40Bumbling, faffage.
03:41Bumbling, as you might be watching right now, my bumbling. It's just not good for pace of play,
03:46it's not good for your game, it's not good for anyone's game around you. What can you do to sort
03:49that out?
03:50Well, if you've got people behind you, that's very annoying. Just think, right, as you get to the
03:54green, where's the next tee? Let me leave my bag in a position between the flag and the tee. So when
03:58I'm done, I pick my ball out, I wander over to my bag, which is en route to the tee, do your scorecard over
04:03there, the people behind you, can play, and they're not falling asleep, sat on their bags.
04:07It's considerate to everyone else, and it'll actually be beneficial for your game,
04:10because you'll take less steps, and you'll be less tired. Plan it well, play quickly, and play well.
04:18Next up, Joe, less of a crime than some of them, but something I think you should avoid doing is
04:21early walking a putt that you think is going in, you're giving it the big I am, and then it doesn't
04:25go in. It's a bad look, isn't it? Actually, we played golf recently with a friend of yours,
04:28shout out, Reece. Hello.
04:29I was early walking a couple, and they went in, and he still said that was a bad look.
04:33He's right, though. I think he's right. He is right, but it's a particularly bad look when they
04:36miss as well. Another thing that you don't want to do, if you're the guy on the other side of the
04:40hole, early celebrating someone else's putt, and calling it before it goes in, that can backfire a
04:46lot and isn't a good look. If someone says to me, like, oh, great putt, or oh, that's in, oh,
04:49that's pure, and it doesn't go in, or really early, and it doesn't go in, I'm like, do not stop talking
04:54to my golf ball. Do you think it's affected your ball? Absolutely. Of course it does. It has to. Just don't talk to
04:59my golf ball. Don't talk to your playing partner's golf balls, and don't early walk that putt.
05:03Just wait for it to go in.
05:08Recent rule changes have affected this next one I'm going to mention. So you used to have five
05:11minutes to find your ball, now you've only got three, so it's become more imperative than ever
05:16not to assume you're just going to find your golf ball once you've hit it into the rubbish, isn't it?
05:19Yeah, I see people playing on somewhere they know really well where they play every week,
05:22and they're like, that's fine over there. I know that bit. I know that bit. I've been there all the
05:25time, and it might take a different bounce, it might hit something. You might not find it.
05:29If you don't then find it, you've got to trawl your way back to the tee, you're taking penalty
05:33shots, you're taking up more time. So just always hit a provisional if you lose sight of the ball,
05:38or even have a hint of doubt that you might not find it. The 10 seconds it takes to hit a provisional
05:43could save you 10 minutes of traipsing back and holding everyone up. And you get another swing,
05:47another shot, get that bad shot out of your head. That's a little sort of bonus to it. But yeah,
05:51always hit a provisional, speed things up, and that's that's that.
05:59Lastly, Joe, and this falls into the category of early chirping a putt or talking to someone's
06:04golf ball is letting them know they've got a good score going. Well, you're playing well,
06:07aren't you, mate? It's horrible. Yeah, it's just wrong on so many levels. If I'm playing well,
06:12and I'm on for a really good score, trust me, I know. I don't need you to tell me, I know,
06:18and I'm already worried about it, so I don't need the additional pressure. Keep it to yourself,
06:23admire quietly, and let them get on with it. You can talk about it after the round. Yeah,
06:28you know what I mean? Absolutely. Just focus on your own gosh darn game,
06:30and we can talk about how well I've played later. So yeah, no, none of that sort of,
06:35well, you'll do it all right, aren't you, mate? Yeah, absolutely not.
06:38That's not bad, Joe. It's a nice little list, that, of things to not do on the golf course.
06:42Take it on board. We want to hear if you've got any that we may have missed out,
06:45which of the ones that we mentioned is the most biggest crime, would have the biggest sentence
06:50in this sort of golf jail, golf court. Wow, you're taking it there. Yeah, I have taken it there.
06:55Let us know any others that we've missed out. Hope you enjoyed this video,
06:57our acting. Well done, numbnuts. Yes, thank you very much. Thank you very much. See you next time.
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