00:00Hello, Internet. Not that I need to introduce myself, but it is I, Simon Miller, Internet darling,
00:05and recent victim of an unprovoked attack by Impact Wrestling's Joseph Hendry,
00:11following his YouTube show known as Food Fight.
00:22Due to this assault, I am now suffering from a serious neck injury,
00:26which essentially has rendered my neck useless.
00:30Meaning it has no use, and I'm dealing with temporary blindness after my retinas were burned
00:35due to hot sauce and lemon and herb, a combination I am told nobody should have been able to survive.
00:42In fact, my medical professionals also said I am a modern day miracle, given that I'm sat here right now.
00:49I would bid you a good day, but I actually hope you have a terrible one.
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