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00:00Hey everyone, I know this is a bit of a departure from my usual Sonius lifestyle content but I just
00:08want to be real with you guys and talk about something that's really close to my heart,
00:14Cancer Awareness Week. Because I think it's so easy to sweat the small stuff and just forget
00:23about what's really important. Hey everyone, I know this is a bit of a departure from my usual
00:31Sonius lifestyle content but I just want to be real with you guys for a second and talk.
00:39I need my car. My son has a laser tag party in Beckenham this weekend. I don't even know where
00:45Beckenham is without my son. Are you all right? My ex stopped paying for the lease. Apparently
00:52having a Tesla is a luxury. It's a humble EV for God's sake. What do I do now?
01:00You could try getting a job. I have a job now. I am the face and brains and body and hair of
01:07Senuous, a rapidly growing Instagram startup. You could try getting a job that pays him money
01:13and not these wellness supplement shakes that have been blocking my hallway all week.
01:19See you later.
01:22What's the matter with you? Come on!
01:30Yeah, but is it a kneel-em, Diego? It has to be a kneel-em.
01:35Well, they've got to be in season somewhere on the planet. Go back and ask.
01:39Oh, God, our goalie is shite.
01:41Oh, don't say that, Della. Her mum's a psycho.
01:44Oh, shit, she's looking.
01:46Hey, guys!
01:48Hey, everyone looking forward to parents' evening tomorrow? It's my favourite evening
01:52in the afternoon the whole year, yeah. It's kind of like, um, sports day, but for, uh, for
01:57boffins, yeah.
01:58Oi, coach! What are we doing?
02:00Okay, right, guys. Um, anyone else want to try goalkeeping?
02:04Hi. Sorry we're late. The cab driver refused to drive across the grass.
02:08And your card was declined. Anyway, Della, I can thank you in person for the stiffy.
02:12I was going to RSVB by post, but now I can say it. It's a yes from me.
02:17Great. What's this?
02:18Uh, we're having a soft launch for Double Shin, so we're having a rehearsal launch to iron
02:23out any of the glitches.
02:24So you're inviting friends and family?
02:28Yeah, I'd have invited you, Amanda, but, uh, I thought you were busy.
02:32Yeah, thanks, Stella. Yeah, no, I am, actually.
02:34Yeah, that's what I thought.
02:35Well, you thought, right, because I am insanely busy right now.
02:39Yeah, no, I'm in talks about a possible Senuous collab.
02:41What's a collab?
02:42It means collaboration.
02:44Well, I always thought that collab sounded like collabia.
02:47No, it doesn't, huh?
02:48I was on LinkedIn for, like, a second, and this big shot interiors firm just begged me for
02:54a meet at the flagship store.
02:56Yeah, I guess it just shows what a thirst trap my brand is.
03:00God, I'd hate to work for a brand.
03:02Too much hassle.
03:03Oh, hold on, hold on.
03:04Hello?
03:04Is it a Neelam?
03:06No, Neelam.
03:07Why do you keep saying Neelam?
03:08It's getting quite annoying.
03:09It's kind of mango.
03:11It's all gone.
03:12It's rude.
03:16Well, Amanda, this is an impressive CV, but I'm not seeing any retail experience here.
03:21Yes, just there.
03:21Higa-teiga.
03:22Oh.
03:23I just assumed that was a typo.
03:25No, that was my lifestyle store in Chiswick.
03:27Our Insta page actually got a like from Amanda Holden.
03:31Well, your references look great.
03:34I'm actually quite a humble person, so writing about myself like that was a real challenge.
03:38But as it says in paragraph five, I embrace challenge.
03:40You wrote your own references.
03:42I've been my own boss for 15 years.
03:44This is one of the reasons why this collab is...
03:47Yeah, you keep using that word, collab.
03:49What does that mean?
03:50Great question, Daniel.
03:51Um, what does the word collab mean to me?
03:55I guess I'm looking for a symbiotic relationship where I draw on my skills as a social media entrepreneur
04:02to complement your age-old knowledge of kitchens.
04:07And bathrooms.
04:08I started in bathrooms.
04:10Interesting.
04:11So you were Daniel Kitchen's bathrooms?
04:13Yeah.
04:14Then moved into kitchens.
04:16Hence why it's now kitchens, bathrooms and kitchens.
04:18That makes sense.
04:19But a lot of our business comes from waste disposal units and boiling water taps now.
04:23Brilliant.
04:24Maybe you could tempt Amanda holding into a waste disposal.
04:27Get her up on the wall of fame.
04:29You could make a lot of commission selling those things.
04:31You know what?
04:33I'm feeling a lot of synergy in this space.
04:36Well, in the words of Sir Alan Sugar, you're hired.
04:40Okay, yeah.
04:41You're hired.
04:44Well done.
04:49Hiya.
04:49Hi, yeah.
04:50They're really playing the first team here tonight.
04:53Mr Atkins, Ms Patel, Ms Clacey, Mr Kovacs here on the back too.
04:56Great news, guys.
04:58Senuus is now official partners with KB&K.
05:01What'd you say?
05:02Amanda got her job.
05:04Not a job fee.
05:05It is a collab.
05:06Yeah.
05:07No, they basically bit my hand off to work with me.
05:09Plan is collab this year, then go PLC, then aim to float myself by 2030.
05:14What the hell was that, Anne?
05:17It's the timer.
05:18You only get three minutes with each teacher, and they're actually very strict about it.
05:21Okay.
05:22Welcome to Squid Games.
05:24It's a dystopian Korean TV show, Anne.
05:27Loved your approach to expanding binomials, by the way.
05:29Very nice, yeah.
05:31Sorry.
05:31I don't mean to fangirl too much.
05:34It's just, um, I always wanted to try my hand at teaching myself.
05:37I'm going to give Darius some additional homework over half term.
05:41It's important he gets a good mark, otherwise he'll have to repeat the module.
05:45He'll get there.
05:45He just needs a little help with that final 10%.
05:49See?
05:49I'm already 80% there.
05:52Jesus.
05:52He's struggling.
05:57I just think he might benefit from you working with him on his homework over half term, as
06:01you're an accountant.
06:02No, he's the accountant.
06:04I'm a landscape gardener.
06:05He's the biological one.
06:07Oh.
06:08No, we ain't together.
06:10No, no.
06:12I mean, I wish.
06:13God.
06:15Punching a bit above my weight with this hunk.
06:17I'm just a stepdad.
06:19No, so I'm more than happy to tutor Ned over the half term.
06:22No, no, no.
06:23It's cool.
06:23I can do this.
06:24Of course you can, me.
06:26Great kid.
06:27Really good grades.
06:29The only thing I would say is that she should show up to school more.
06:33What'd he say?
06:34Morton's nailing it, babe.
06:36Here.
06:38It's an invitation to our restaurant launch as an apology from Della for not being able to
06:41make it in person.
06:43Oh.
06:44Thanks, guys.
06:46Did he just get an invite?
06:48Hmm?
06:49I said she's easily distracted.
06:52Well, I think that's the case for teenagers, though, right?
06:55What with social media and hormones and...
06:58Oh, my God.
06:58Yeah, she does have a boyfriend now.
07:00Oh, my God.
07:01Georgie just needs to find a little focus because it's starting to affect her schoolwork.
07:05Right.
07:06Understood.
07:07I'm wondering if you think...
07:09Um, just...
07:10I'm sorry, but our session's over.
07:12The buzz is gone.
07:13Yes, just...
07:13No, I've started, so I'll finish.
07:16Next.
07:16Yeah.
07:17No, I know.
07:18Yeah.
07:19That was quite frustrating, but, um, I think I'm going to take midterm off, do some
07:23an arithmetic with Darius, but, um, hey, silver linings, because, uh, I've always wanted
07:29to be a maths teacher.
07:31I think you find you need a degree to be a teacher.
07:34Oh, yeah.
07:35Well, yeah, I have, um, a PhD in chemistry from Imperial, so...
07:39Right, not a degree, though, is it?
07:49Uh, excuse me, young lady, where do you think you're going?
07:52To the park with Morty.
07:53No, no, no, you heard Miss Leary, you need to be studying.
07:56That is what you're spending your half-time doing.
07:58What, because I'm so stupid?
08:00God, I can't believe you called me stupid.
08:04Not a judgement from me.
08:05I've got to teach Ned maths all week.
08:07Sorry, no, I don't have time for this.
08:09I've got a collab to get to.
08:10Stupid mic.
08:13Um, where's your helmet?
08:15If there's a choice between brain damage and helmet hair, I think you know where I stand.
08:22How are you getting on, big man?
08:24I don't get it.
08:25Why are these so hard?
08:27All right, let's get this done, and then we can go for a five, guys, yeah?
08:31All right.
08:32All right, 4A3-3A2-something-5, exclamation mark.
08:40This isn't a maths question, this is a Wi-Fi password.
08:43All right, let's have a look at the second one.
08:44Okay, plan B.
08:58Welcome to Matt's camp!
09:02Thank you so much for doing this, Anne.
09:04You're a lifesaver.
09:05The more, the merrier.
09:06Now, come on, just about to get started.
09:07All right, listen, don't tell your mum or JJ, yeah?
09:10Oh, my God, you're a lot of idiots!
09:25Good morning, Amanda.
09:27Daniel!
09:28I was expecting you for nine.
09:29Oh, I was aiming for nine-ish.
09:31You try cycling from Soho to Ewol with the mood board.
09:34Right, let me put down my thought collage,
09:39and then maybe you could direct me to the best local roastery
09:41for a decent Java.
09:43Let's start with your shirt.
09:44Um, my colour palette is very much spring-summer,
09:48and this is autumn-winter, Daniel.
09:50It's pretty quiet today, so do you want to start with some flyering?
09:57Flyering?
09:59Right, Daniel, flyering's not in my job description.
10:02Did you read your job description?
10:03No.
10:04But it is.
10:10Pure mathematics is, in its way,
10:13the poetry of logical ideas.
10:17Not my words, guys,
10:18but those of the late, great Albert Einstein.
10:23Here we go, boys.
10:27You know what that is?
10:30That's Euler's identity.
10:32Beautiful.
10:33Isn't it?
10:35Einstein was right.
10:37That is poetry.
10:39So, guys,
10:41are we ready
10:42to make poetry?
10:45How are you not getting this?
10:49Okay, first, you multiply them by themselves,
10:53and then you add them together.
10:56Jesus!
10:57Right!
10:58If we have to do it again,
10:59we'll do it again.
11:00Work out the value of T
11:02when P equals 4
11:04and W equals 2.
11:14That would be so good.
11:15What are you doing?
11:31You're supposed to be at home revising.
11:32Why are you wearing a vest?
11:34It's a camisole.
11:35Don't change the subject.
11:36I'm here to help Morton.
11:37Yeah, Della sent me to go get her mangoes
11:39for the restaurant launch,
11:39so, you know, she came with me.
11:41Why in Milston, anyway?
11:42Queens Park boarders,
11:43I'm meeting some of my team.
11:44I like to get really under the bonnet
11:46when I collab.
11:46Anyway, this isn't about me.
11:48You obviously can't be trusted.
11:49What are you doing?
11:50I'm calling your grandmother.
11:51She can help supervise you.
11:53Why is that old man waving at you?
11:55Oh, men wave at me all the time.
11:57Hello?
11:58It's my burden.
12:04Amanda, can I have a word?
12:06Yes!
12:08Now, I'm not going to have a go at you
12:09for taking your top off.
12:10It's a very effective sales technique,
12:12but I'm not paying you to stand around
12:14on the street gassing.
12:16Do you know who that was?
12:18That was Della Frye's daughter.
12:20What, a chef?
12:21Yeah.
12:22What, you know her?
12:22My close personal friends.
12:23Our daughters are basically sisters.
12:25We're so tied, so...
12:27Hey, do you think you could get Della Frye
12:28to endorse a sink limonator?
12:30I mean, she'd look great on my wall.
12:32Oh, right.
12:35Um...
12:36I don't know if that's something
12:37she'd really go for, Danielle.
12:39Surely she'd do it for a close personal friend.
12:42Yeah.
12:43I mean, yes, yeah.
12:44No, I will...
12:45That's something I will definitely mention to her.
12:48For sure.
12:51Quick, let me in.
12:52It smells of buses.
12:56I hear you're under house arrest.
12:58So stupid.
13:00What's this?
13:02Selling sunsets.
13:03It's about Californian estate agents.
13:04Oh, fantastic.
13:07You'd probably learn more from them
13:09than anything in a boring book, you know?
13:10How many times is she going to do that?
13:12Are you okay?
13:13I don't think so...
13:14Hey, Anne.
13:16How's it going?
13:17Great, yeah.
13:18Yeah, so fun.
13:20I think we're really getting somewhere, you know?
13:24There he is.
13:26Hey, slip me some skin.
13:28Yeah.
13:28Going for gold.
13:29Yeah.
13:30All right.
13:31So, same time tomorrow?
13:34Yeah.
13:34Oh, for God's sakes.
13:44What are you doing?
13:45Oh, darling, I didn't expect you back so soon.
13:47I'm not cool, Mummy.
13:48I asked you to do one thing.
13:50This may be an alien concept to you,
13:52but my daughter needs to be studying.
13:54Not looking like a contour badger.
13:57You're going to Anne's tomorrow.
13:58Why?
13:59Ganggan said you got three GCSEs and you're doing great.
14:07Six, fifteen, twenty-four, thirty-three.
14:10Hey!
14:11Eyes on me, yeah?
14:14So, the interval here is nine.
14:16We're not starting with nine, are we?
14:18So, we would express this sequence as nine N minus...
14:23N?
14:23No.
14:24We've been through this.
14:25It's nine N minus what is six?
14:32Okay, it's three.
14:33Right, okay.
14:34Clearly, it's three.
14:36The answer they're looking for is three.
14:37So, the answer you need to write down right now,
14:40it's three.
14:41It's the nine times tables less three.
14:43God!
14:44Doesn't that feel good?
14:46Actually answering a feckin' question.
14:50Enough is enough.
14:52Question 28.
14:52What's your question?
14:54N equals 76.
14:57Question 29.
14:58What's 28 again?
15:00Keep up!
15:01I just want to finish this homework.
15:02Question 30.
15:04Force power nine.
15:05Done.
15:06Do not tell your teacher I gave you the answers.
15:10Let us never speak of this again.
15:11There is literally nothing this thing can't obliterate.
15:23Just so you know, the chef, Della Fryer, we're talking to her about fitting one.
15:27Okay, thanks.
15:28Fee?
15:38Hi, babe.
15:39Bit short notice, but do you fancy a lunch at Double Shin?
15:43It's our soft lunch today, and there's a blue tube strike, so we just need bombs on seats.
15:47Oh, well, I'm very touched that Della asked me personally.
15:49Oh, just out of interest, Fee, and obviously I can totally afford it, but is it free?
15:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
15:56Oh, great.
15:57Um, okay, uh, yeah, I will call you back in two minutes.
16:01No problem.
16:02Okay.
16:03Oh, Daniel.
16:04Daniel.
16:05Hi, is it all right if I pop out for the afternoon?
16:08Sorry, you've got a man in the shop.
16:09Oh, well, I've got this incredible opportunity.
16:12Yeah, look, I'm in St. Albans all afternoon, quoting on a nursing home refurb.
16:15Okay.
16:16Hey, Amanda, not happening.
16:18I've got to go.
16:18Hello.
16:28Hey.
16:29Hi.
16:29Uh, it's a yes from me.
16:36Look at the girls up.
16:38Hi, darling.
16:38Hi.
16:40What are you sniggering at?
16:41Have you seen this logo?
16:43Darling, that definitely says double shit.
16:45Thanks for coming to our double shindigs.
16:48Yeah, and who designed the logo?
16:50Oh, me.
16:51I did a graphics course recently.
16:53Teller really loves her.
16:56I'm so sorry I'm late, guys.
16:58Anyway, what's got two thumbs and deliberately didn't have any breakfast?
17:01This guy.
17:03I'm only here for the free drinks.
17:05Fair enough.
17:07How was maths come last week?
17:08Oh, so fun.
17:09So much fun.
17:12Tough mind, but fun.
17:14Difficult, yet rewarding, you know?
17:17But tough.
17:18Tough.
17:26Ahem.
17:27Daniel.
17:47Do you want to tell me why the shop's shut?
17:49Yes.
17:49Okay, um, I can explain.
17:51I don't want to hear it, Amanda.
17:52Look, I don't think you should bother coming back.
17:54No, Daniel, well, wait, listen, okay, listen, the thing, okay, the thing is,
17:58Della Frye called me, and I think we're in a really good position to get her to endorse
18:01the sink eliminator, and so I made an executive decision.
18:04You're not an executive.
18:06You're my employee.
18:07We're splitting hairs here, Daniel.
18:09My point is, I think she's going to do it.
18:12And so I popped out to seal the deal.
18:14Okay, fine, but...
18:17I've actually got to go right now, because we are kind of mid-pow-wow, but I will see
18:22you tomorrow, okay?
18:23Bye.
18:23Bye.
18:23Amanda!
18:29Yes, chef!
18:32I need more mint, Hector.
18:34Yes, chef.
18:34Hey, girl.
18:37Amazing launch.
18:39I love those mushroom-y starter things.
18:42They were baby rabbits.
18:44Yum.
18:46So, I'm going to ask you straight big shot to big shot.
18:49You know how I'm doing this collab with this amazing beauty kitchen company?
18:52Are you trying to sell me something?
18:54No, no, God, no.
18:55I don't work in sales.
18:58No, it's more of an endorsement deal for this funky little gadget we have.
19:02It's amazing, Della.
19:04It will cut through anything.
19:05I'm not a sellout.
19:06Anything.
19:07Not like Jamie Stainsbury's Oliver.
19:09Obviously, but I don't think putting your name to a genuinely life-changing device that
19:14saves not just time, but also landfill.
19:17And I really think this is a very special product, Della.
19:20It could possibly be described as selling out.
19:23I've got to go.
19:25Can I get somebody on the path, please?
19:29Thank you, Michael.
19:32Well done on being the best-fed freeloaders in Kilburn.
19:36Welcome to Double Shin, my new baby.
19:39Listen, I just wanted to say big props on the whole maths thing.
19:43I read through his revision worksheets and they are great.
19:48I just feel really bad there.
19:50Of course you're great at maths.
19:52Don't worry about it.
19:53This is the signature dish of Double Shin and excuse me for being a soppy goose, but this
19:58is a tribute to my incredible wife, Fee.
20:01I couldn't do any of this without her support.
20:04Yeah, okay, so this is Neelam mango sorbet, which is Fee's favourite fruit.
20:13And as tomorrow is our wedding anniversary, I thought I'd propose a toast to Double Shin and
20:20my amazing Fiona.
20:21Double Shin.
20:22Double Shin.
20:23Double Shin.
20:24Alright, alrighty.
20:25Easy, easy, easy.
20:26Special.
20:28Ooh.
20:29God, I love anniversaries.
20:30Our next biggie will be pearl.
20:32But I can't imagine Chris giving me a pearl necklace.
20:35Wow.
20:36Now we all can.
20:37Are you alright, Amanda?
20:38Yeah.
20:39Hey.
20:40No, I'm fine.
20:41Are you alright?
20:42Totally forgot it was our anniversary tomorrow.
20:43And I've not even got her a card.
20:44And I think I can get her a box of West Country cheeses delivered by tomorrow.
20:49Or I could get her some Kraft Dales.
20:51Oh, I think we can do better than that, Fee.
20:55But I will need a little favour.
20:57?".
21:16Are you ready for your present?
21:18Ready!
21:19Thanks babes.
21:20Aww.
21:21thanks babes oh do you like it do you have the receipt yeah I don't know what
21:37this is we've risen to believe some children caught copying each other's please come for a meeting at
22:0212 oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit mommy hi yeah I just got a message from the school about a meeting
22:25at midday yeah and I can't leave my co-lab I thought you were your own boss yeah no I am my own boss but
22:31I've got a really important meet with a big hotel and okay please mommy go to Georgie school for 12
22:37o'clock yes yes bye the umpteenth time can you not use your phone on the floor it was a family
22:44emergency Daniel well you've obviously got time on your hands so can you shift that grout
22:49oh hello Amanda I didn't know you worked here I don't work here
22:55oh hello Amanda I didn't know you worked here I don't work here
23:19no um no just browsing around myself you're wearing a uniform yes no I can see why you would
23:32think I worked here but um I don't I don't work here I co-lab but I'm mainly in the head office in
23:40and um Mayfair Amanda you've shifted that grout yet fine yes I work here Della yes so I'm just
23:51doing this till Senuous takes off you don't have to tell me how hard it is to launch something
23:55you're skint you're desperate no I wouldn't say I'm desperate your car's been repossessed
24:02your ex is a cock and he's dumped you in it financially
24:06actually have a really incredible relationship for exes yeah but what I'm trying to say
24:10is that I I think that what you're doing is it's pretty impressive
24:15thank you the fuck is that
24:22so I'm just saying that um coincidences do happen that all three of them got exactly the same answers
24:32wrong I I can explain I think that my knowledge of maths got the better of me and I may have helped
24:40Ned a bit too much no don't beat yourself up no no no no no no I can't let you do this you can
24:48it wasn't Mal he had nothing to do with it it was me I'm the cheat I'm the liar
24:53I thought teaching maths would be easy but it is so hard amen to that sister just started filling
25:03out a few answers you know and then one thing led to another and I don't know what happened just
25:09before I knew it I was filling in the whole thing oh god I don't see what all the fuss is about
25:15they're all going to be fine it's just a stupid maths test that's not helping hey JJ I'm sorry
25:28I just I think if if I'm not doing the day-to-day tricky stuff with Ned then what am I you know I'm
25:34just a guy that takes him to the zoo and hands out 20s I feel like a weekend dad and weekend dads are
25:39shy come off it I'm just the stepdad you know the lamest of all the dads you I'm like a bad cover
25:46version of you I'm like the Westlife version of Uptown Girl to your original Billy Joel no
25:53you're Beyonce's version of Blackbird that is a banger yeah do you want me to take over the
26:02maths don't work fuck yes please thank you so much well that's not real
26:13how was the meeting at school oh Georgie got a detention for copying I mean honestly the fuss
26:21they made what do you mean poof that mummy this is important
26:32what's got your knickers in a twist now I have just been sacked from a job selling waste disposal
26:37units in a burgundy airtex oh my god that's awful why on earth are you doing that why what because I'm
26:46not qualified to do anything better mummy I've only got three GCSEs I suppose that's my fault yes
26:53it is your fault because the only things you ever made me work on were a killer backhand and toning
26:57my legs well being good at tennis is an excellent life skill I'm not arguing that but I want more
27:02for Georgie I don't want my daughter to fail her exams because no one can be bothered to help her
27:05see nothing to worry about I was a single mother too you know well your father went skiing a lot
27:27fine maybe I could have been a smidge more hands-on I'm sure you can find a way to make it up to
27:35me mummy yeah I've come to get my mood board back and my collab why would I give you your job back
27:54because I'm damn good at it and I'll be even better Daniel if you'll just let me fly I need
28:01a sales assistant Amanda not a seagull and also because I am bringing you a big new client
28:10who's Felicity Sanderson it's mommy and she wants a complete new kitchen including a fizzy water tap
28:18why are you making it so hard it's obviously an irrational number that's all points of the
28:28exercise you know what forget it forget what's our number let's give her a call
28:34what
28:41oh
28:43oh
28:45oh
28:49oh
28:51oh
28:53oh
28:55oh
28:57oh
28:59oh
29:03oh
29:05oh
29:07oh
29:09oh
29:11oh
29:13oh
29:15oh
29:17oh
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