- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The tropical places, you know, that's the go-to.
00:00:30Get your white sands and your blue water and your fucking guava trees and whatever.
00:00:35And it makes a beautiful postcard, but I burn.
00:00:39And I can't, you know, it's just not, it's not relaxing to me.
00:00:42If I got my Mai Tai and my pina umbrella, whatever thing, and I forget to put on my SPF Infinity sweater and a bottle.
00:00:49And then the next day I can't wipe my own ass without discomfort, exceptional discomfort.
00:00:54And then I gotta stay out of the sun and deal with all that bullshit.
00:00:58And what's the point of being in the tropics if you gotta act like some fucking nerd on summer break reading a Hobbit book in his bedroom?
00:01:06So, a more temperate climate.
00:01:10That's what I'm looking for from this.
00:01:13From a getaway standpoint.
00:01:15What about you?
00:01:16It'd be nice to meet somebody.
00:01:21What?
00:01:22You know, just somebody new.
00:01:24Get unstuck.
00:01:26That's kind of a lot to pin on it.
00:01:29I'm just saying I was talking about a more temperate climate and you're talking about some measure of human emotion.
00:01:34One of which, by the way, you can find on the map.
00:01:37We're just talking here, right?
00:01:39Sure.
00:01:39Well, you're going off like we just pulled some Master Diamond heist.
00:01:42I'm just saying eventually.
00:01:43Haven't even found a place.
00:01:44We're looking.
00:01:46Right?
00:01:47There's the jet caching place we talked about.
00:01:51That's a rough crowd.
00:01:53Something goes wrong.
00:01:53It goes all the way wrong.
00:01:57The flower shop.
00:01:58No, she's nice.
00:01:59And I met her daughter that one time, so that makes it really...
00:02:02You shouldn't have been shopping there.
00:02:04I was casing the joint.
00:02:05You could have cased the fucking Louvre the amount of time you spent there.
00:02:07She has nice eyes and she found her passion in flowers and I don't want to rob her.
00:02:11Some people have no idea what they want to do with their lives and she's...
00:02:13Fine, fine.
00:02:14I get it.
00:02:15Besides, I found the place.
00:02:18I found the flower shop.
00:02:19No, I mean the place.
00:02:23Yeah?
00:02:24Yeah.
00:02:24It's perfect.
00:02:27Unexpected.
00:02:29Is it this place?
00:02:31What?
00:02:32Oh, man, yeah.
00:02:33This is like Pulp Fiction.
00:02:34What shitty part of Pulp Fiction would this possibly be like?
00:02:37You know, the opening part with Honey Bunny and Pumpkin and any of you fucking pricks move?
00:02:42I'm going to execute every motherfucking last one of you.
00:02:46Jesus.
00:02:47Yeah.
00:02:47Yeah, I'm into it.
00:02:48Let's do it.
00:02:49What are we going to rob the diner with?
00:02:50Our fucking coffee spoons?
00:02:53We should at least order the steak and eggs first so we have knives.
00:02:56You guys ready to order?
00:02:58Yeah, I'll have the steak and eggs.
00:03:00What is the finest item on your menu?
00:03:05Oh, my favorite is the chocolate chip pancakes.
00:03:08Super tasty.
00:03:10Yeah.
00:03:11You don't like pancakes?
00:03:13No, it's just my ex-fiancee's favorite.
00:03:17So it's kind of a loaded menu option for me.
00:03:22It's a Denver omelet.
00:03:24Thanks.
00:03:28Wow.
00:03:29What?
00:03:30I don't want chocolate chip pancakes.
00:03:32So what?
00:03:33It's breakfast, not dessert.
00:03:35Perfect.
00:03:36Say that.
00:03:36Do you want to hear about the place or do you want to be my fucking life coach?
00:03:42It's a house.
00:03:44I know how to get in.
00:03:45I know there's valuable jewelry.
00:03:47And I know that they're gone all week.
00:03:50Which week?
00:03:51This week, now.
00:03:56Holy shit, this is real.
00:03:57This is really real.
00:03:59There is one part.
00:04:02It's in a gated community.
00:04:04So there's a guard and a gate and a fence around the whole thing.
00:04:09So I know how to get in the house.
00:04:12I just don't know how to get to the house.
00:04:18Well, I do.
00:04:19I know how to get in the house.
00:04:20I know how to get in the house.
00:04:20I know how to get in the house.
00:04:21I know how to get in the house.
00:04:21I know how to get in the house.
00:04:22I know how to get in the house.
00:04:23I know how to get in the house.
00:04:24I know how to get in the house.
00:04:25I know how to get in the house.
00:04:26I know how to get in the house.
00:04:27I know how to get in the house.
00:04:28I know how to get in the house.
00:04:29I know how to get in the house.
00:04:30I know how to get in the house.
00:04:31I know how to get in the house.
00:04:32I know how to get in the house.
00:04:33I know how to get in the house.
00:04:34I know how to get in the house.
00:04:35I know how to get in the house.
00:04:36I know how to get in the house.
00:05:07We'd like to order a pizza, please.
00:05:15For here to go.
00:05:17For delivery.
00:05:37We're here.
00:05:53And that's how you do it.
00:05:54This is for you, my good man.
00:06:10Dude.
00:06:12You get the other half when you pick us up.
00:06:15Oh, this is bullshit.
00:06:16At least pay for the pizza, man.
00:06:18This is all the way the hell out here.
00:06:20How am I going to account for this from the books?
00:06:23Fine.
00:06:26Now, remember, this address plus a sausage, mushroom, and anchovy pizza.
00:06:34That's the code to come pick us up.
00:06:35Yeah, the address is fine.
00:06:37I mean, no one's going to come...
00:06:38Whoa, let's not get our signals crossed here, okay?
00:06:42Just stick to the plan.
00:06:44Whatever.
00:06:47Whoa, whoa.
00:06:48Yeah.
00:06:49Since we paid for it...
00:06:53What if there's no hide-a-rock?
00:06:58There is.
00:07:00How do you know?
00:07:01Because I know.
00:07:02We wouldn't be here if there wasn't a hide-a-rock.
00:07:04Then why haven't you found it?
00:07:05Because it looks like a fucking rock.
00:07:07That's the beauty of its design.
00:07:09I've got no bars.
00:07:14How would you pay all this money to live up in a place with no bars?
00:07:18I'll have to call the pizza guy from inside, I guess.
00:07:22That'll actually make it seem more legit.
00:07:24Yeah.
00:07:25The caller ID shows this address.
00:07:28The guy picks us up.
00:07:30Nothing funny about that.
00:07:32Nothing to pin it to us.
00:07:34It's almost too perfect.
00:07:35Leo.
00:07:39Yeah?
00:07:39I was saying we have to call the pizza guy from inside.
00:07:41I heard you.
00:07:44Hear that?
00:07:51What was that?
00:07:52Don't move.
00:07:54It's an alarm.
00:07:56Shit!
00:07:57I didn't know about the alarm.
00:07:59It's okay.
00:08:00Just there might be motion detectors.
00:08:02Like lasers?
00:08:03Maybe.
00:08:04Or infrared.
00:08:07You know, everything gives off infrared heat, even ice.
00:08:09That's fucking fascinating.
00:08:11Do you know what you're doing there?
00:08:12Yeah.
00:08:14I'm getting it.
00:08:15What does that mean, you're getting it?
00:08:17I've established a pattern,
00:08:19and I'm working within the confines of that pattern
00:08:22to decipher the...
00:08:24Incorrect.
00:08:25System armed.
00:08:27Armed?
00:08:28You just armed it?
00:08:29So now we have to break out of the house that we just broke into?
00:08:34I mean, if anything, it proves that the pattern was right.
00:08:36I just went in the wrong direction with it.
00:08:38Right?
00:08:40If I reverse it...
00:08:41No, don't touch it!
00:08:42It's fucking armed.
00:08:44I know.
00:08:44I'm going to unarm it.
00:08:45No, you're not.
00:08:46You're going to set it off,
00:08:47and then the guard's going to be here in six seconds.
00:08:49Cops are going to be right behind him,
00:08:51and then we're going to be stuck here with nowhere to go
00:08:53because we're in the middle of a giant gate fenced-in cage.
00:08:58Okay, yeah, it's not ideal.
00:09:01But it's not a problem.
00:09:03There's a code,
00:09:05and it's written down somewhere in this house.
00:09:07Maybe on their computer in an email from the security company
00:09:10or something like that.
00:09:12We just take our time,
00:09:14find the code while we rob the place,
00:09:16and then skedaddle.
00:09:19Clean and easy.
00:09:20What about the motion detectors?
00:09:34No motion detectors.
00:09:44Good find.
00:09:46Huh?
00:09:48This place is swanky.
00:09:50It's okay.
00:09:53Okay?
00:09:54Look at this.
00:09:57What is it?
00:09:58This is art.
00:10:00They have art hanging on the walls.
00:10:02That's some ritzy people's shit.
00:10:04We're going to score you doing this job.
00:10:16What are you doing?
00:10:17Stealing this.
00:10:18It looks expensive.
00:10:19We're not going to steal a bowl.
00:10:21We need small things that we can fit in our bags.
00:10:24Or in a pizza box, right?
00:10:26We can put a painting in here.
00:10:28Let's eat this fast so the box doesn't get all sweaty.
00:10:31Here.
00:10:31What the fuck?
00:10:36What?
00:10:36You just ruined that rug.
00:10:38Look at that.
00:10:39Show some respect.
00:10:41We are robbing this place.
00:10:43We don't have to rub their faces in it.
00:10:45I mean, shit.
00:10:48It's a nice rug.
00:10:51Okay.
00:10:51I don't know.
00:10:52I'm sorry.
00:10:52I don't know what's going on right now.
00:11:01Yeah, it's ruined.
00:11:02Bingo.
00:11:15What?
00:11:15Office.
00:11:17Where would you keep a code?
00:11:19I don't know.
00:11:19I don't have an office.
00:11:21A computer.
00:11:24Maybe it's in a drawer or something.
00:11:26Hey, why don't we just go out the window?
00:11:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:11:31Censor.
00:11:31My sister has one of these get-ups at her house.
00:11:34Trying to smoke a little weed at the end of a stressful day with the family.
00:11:38Suddenly, the little damn neighborhood's awake and they have questions about your life's decisions.
00:11:45Oh.
00:11:46Where are you going?
00:11:4711-11.
00:11:48No, come on.
00:11:49We have to find a...
00:11:54Hand me that phone.
00:11:56You can't just skip this one?
00:11:57It takes a minute.
00:12:00It's 11-11.
00:12:01Time for the impossible question.
00:12:03You guys know the deal, but it's fun to say it.
00:12:05$104,800.
00:12:07That's what we're up to.
00:12:08It's been 524 days since a good soul has won.
00:12:12Twice a day, every day at 11-11, we pose the impossible question.
00:12:16And the generous folks at black bear markets add another $100 to the kitty.
00:12:20You call with a correct answer within 22 seconds and you win it all.
00:12:25It would be so simple.
00:12:26If it weren't impossible.
00:12:32So phone's ready.
00:12:34Here it comes.
00:12:36What the fuck?
00:12:37Shh.
00:12:37What were the last words of the first man to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge?
00:12:46Oh, come on.
00:12:48That's just...
00:12:48Oh, wait.
00:12:49You don't want to hear the answer?
00:12:50Some asshole is going to win and then the next day I'm going to know the answer and then only win $100.
00:12:55I believe I'd take to a clock tower.
00:12:59I wonder how cold that water is.
00:13:02Huh?
00:13:03Those would be cool last words.
00:13:04You say, I wonder how cold that water is.
00:13:08And then...
00:13:10Come on, let's rob this place.
00:13:14And then...
00:13:29And then...
00:13:32Who the fuck is that?
00:14:00I don't know.
00:14:00You said no one was here.
00:14:01She's not the person who lives here.
00:14:02How do you know?
00:14:03Because I did my research.
00:14:05Then why wasn't she in your research?
00:14:06She doesn't leave here.
00:14:07Who the fuck is that?
00:14:09I don't know.
00:14:10Fuck.
00:14:13We gotta cut bait.
00:14:14Just get out of here.
00:14:15Out of where?
00:14:16Out of the house.
00:14:16Just go.
00:14:17Problem solved.
00:14:18We can't.
00:14:18The alarm.
00:14:23We take a chair and we shove it under the doorknob.
00:14:26And then what?
00:14:27She's stuck.
00:14:28So she'll call for help.
00:14:30Like on the phone or out the window?
00:14:32What does that matter?
00:14:33Okay.
00:14:34Ah.
00:14:35Hmm.
00:14:36We have to tie her up.
00:14:40What?
00:14:41Look, we need time.
00:14:45We don't have time if she finds us.
00:14:47If she wakes up, she's going to find us.
00:14:51Well, we have to tie her up.
00:15:12Here we go.
00:15:14Yeah, okay.
00:15:16We'll use that.
00:15:17What about our faces?
00:15:18She can't see our faces.
00:15:20Okay.
00:15:21We wrap her in the sheet and just take the shit out of her.
00:15:23Why are we wrapping her in the sheet?
00:15:24It's duct tape, man.
00:15:25So?
00:15:26So it's going to rip her fucking skin off.
00:15:27We're burglars, not assholes.
00:15:28Fine.
00:15:29You go high.
00:15:30I go low.
00:15:31Sorry.
00:15:32Whoa!
00:15:33Whoa!
00:15:34Whoa!
00:15:35Sorry, sorry.
00:15:36Shut up!
00:15:37Help!
00:15:38It's okay.
00:15:39We're just taping you.
00:15:40Help!
00:15:41Shut up!
00:15:42No one can hear you!
00:15:43Don't be a dick about it.
00:15:44But he's right.
00:15:45No one can hear you.
00:15:46You good?
00:15:47Yeah.
00:15:48What the hell?
00:15:49My leg.
00:15:50What?
00:15:51You taped my leg.
00:15:52Cut me loose.
00:15:53Okay.
00:15:54Will you hold still?
00:15:55I'm not doing anything.
00:15:56I'm trying to kick free.
00:15:57You can't kick free, I have a kick.
00:15:58No one can take me off.
00:15:59I'm sorry, son.
00:16:00I'm sorry, son.
00:16:01Shut up.
00:16:02Help!
00:16:03It's okay.
00:16:04We're just taping you.
00:16:05Help!
00:16:06Shut up.
00:16:07No one can hear you.
00:16:08Don't be a dick about it.
00:16:09But he's right.
00:16:10No one can hear you.
00:16:11You good?
00:16:12Yeah.
00:16:13What the hell?
00:16:14No, my leg.
00:16:15What?
00:16:16Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me.
00:16:18What? Oh, we're not gonna hurt you.
00:16:20We're just gonna steal some stuff, and then we're gonna...
00:16:22Oh, shit!
00:16:24What? My mask!
00:16:26I told you not to hog the saran wrap.
00:16:28I didn't see anything. Look at yours. Still on.
00:16:30I didn't hog it. It just wasn't enough to go around my...
00:16:32Oh, shit! You were wrapping your head like you were shipping it overseas.
00:16:34I didn't see your face. Just take whatever you want.
00:16:36I don't care. I'm just a house sitter.
00:16:38Yes, you did see my face. You were looking right at me.
00:16:40I don't remember. Just vaguely Chinese, that's all.
00:16:42Chinese?
00:16:44Dude!
00:16:46Turn around, Doug!
00:16:48Whatever you're looking for, it's all in a secret hiding spot.
00:16:52I know that. All the valuables. A computer. Just everything.
00:16:58Where?
00:17:00I don't know. I just heard them talking.
00:17:02Okay. You stay here. Let's go.
00:17:06We should put her back on the bed.
00:17:08I'm fine. She's fine.
00:17:10Oh, come on. It might be a while.
00:17:12Really, I'm fine.
00:17:14What's your name?
00:17:16Darcy.
00:17:17Darcy, there's really no reason for you to be uncomfortable.
00:17:20Come on.
00:17:22Jesus Christ.
00:17:28Good?
00:17:30Yeah.
00:17:31Shout if you need anything.
00:17:32But be fucking quiet about it.
00:17:34What are you, the concierge?
00:17:36She saw my face. She can identify me.
00:17:38So I want her to feel as good as she possibly can about this whole experience.
00:17:40Why are you calling me by my middle name in there?
00:17:42You know how much I hate that.
00:17:43What are you talking about?
00:17:44You called me Doug.
00:17:45I didn't know that was your middle name.
00:17:46Yes, you did. I told you that...
00:18:00Wait.
00:18:01Okay, now that I look at it, I may have over applied.
00:18:28So, we have a hostage now.
00:18:38Yeah, I know. It is not ideal, her being here.
00:18:43No, it's not ideal.
00:18:45No. It is a problem. But she solves our two other problems.
00:18:51How?
00:18:52She knows the code.
00:18:53That's true.
00:18:54And we know all the great stuff is at a secret hiding spot we wouldn't be looking for otherwise.
00:19:00So, all we have to do is find the spot, steal the stuff, get the code, and order our pizza.
00:19:10We can do that.
00:19:11Hell yes, we can do that.
00:19:13What are you doing?
00:19:34I could be one of those scooby-doo deals. Or the whole thing.
00:19:38Come on.
00:19:39This is too much stuff.
00:20:00Let's start over here.
00:20:01Come on.
00:20:02Come on.
00:20:03Come on.
00:20:06Come on.
00:20:09Come on.
00:20:15Come on.
00:20:17Come on.
00:20:18Why in the hell would someone keep a box of blankets in the garage?
00:20:34What's the practical use in that?
00:20:36You're in bed, you're cold, you come out to the even colder garage to get a blanket?
00:20:41I don't know.
00:20:42I know you don't know.
00:20:43Because you wouldn't do that.
00:20:45Because it's a stupid thing to do.
00:20:47That's the 1% in action right there.
00:20:50This is why our country's in the shitter.
00:20:58Hey now, that's not a secret hiding spot.
00:21:06No, it's locked.
00:21:08Exactly.
00:21:09Because there's valuable stuff in here.
00:21:12Oh, no.
00:21:14What?
00:21:15You're going to break everything inside.
00:21:16But it's locked.
00:21:18So we'll find the key.
00:21:22We just found this.
00:21:24Perfect.
00:21:25So we're on a roll.
00:21:34This house is just too damn big.
00:21:36That's the real problem.
00:21:37Yeah, if you're robbing it.
00:21:39But if you're living here, it's probably pretty nice.
00:21:41It's ostentatious.
00:21:43I mean, if they were just a little more humble, we wouldn't have so many rooms to look through.
00:21:47I mean, what is this?
00:21:49The fucking parlor room or conservatory.
00:21:52It's like Clue.
00:21:53Niagara Falls.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:12Did you know Niagara Falls is actually three different falls?
00:22:15Horseshoe Falls, Bridal Veil.
00:22:17Did you move anything here?
00:22:19What?
00:22:20Was there any other stuff?
00:22:22No, I just turned it on.
00:22:26Did you put it there, though?
00:22:28In the center, like that?
00:22:31No, it was just there.
00:22:33By itself?
00:22:34Yeah.
00:22:36And then I turned it on.
00:22:37What's your deal?
00:22:53What are you doing?
00:22:54I'm taking this.
00:22:54We haven't found shit.
00:22:55This fits in my bag.
00:22:56It's got to be worth something.
00:22:57It's just a lamp.
00:22:59Yeah, but it's old and cool.
00:23:01You've seen those shows where people find weird stuff,
00:23:03and it turns out to be worth a bundle.
00:23:05I saw this one where this guy had an old spittoon.
00:23:10Turned out to belong to some famous cowboy or something.
00:23:14$100,000.
00:23:16Cowboys didn't have lamps.
00:23:17It doesn't have to be a cowboy.
00:23:19That's not the important part.
00:23:20It's just that generally old things are, you know, can be,
00:23:24I don't know all the specific rules,
00:23:27but this is old and funky and you never know.
00:23:31Oh, I do.
00:23:32I'm telling you, it's worth a couple hundred bucks.
00:23:37Maybe three by now.
00:23:38Maybe.
00:23:39Well, we'll see.
00:23:40It is.
00:23:42You say.
00:23:43I don't say, I know.
00:23:45How?
00:23:45Because I bought it.
00:23:58Do you have one of these?
00:23:59I haven't seen it.
00:24:01No, this one.
00:24:02I bought it.
00:24:04And we can't take it.
00:24:06Why would a lamp that you bought be in a house that we're robbing?
00:24:22Whose house is this?
00:24:23Jessica's.
00:24:28Oh, you have got to let it go!
00:24:36Oh!
00:24:37So what, you've been stalking her?
00:24:43No.
00:24:44But you know where she lives.
00:24:45Well, that's just Facebook.
00:24:47You're still Facebook friends with her?
00:24:49So you've just been stalking her online.
00:24:51That's not stalking.
00:24:52That's what Facebook is for.
00:24:55How did you know where the key was?
00:24:57We used to live together.
00:24:59She loves to hide a rock.
00:25:00She used to give it to everyone.
00:25:02Every housewarming gift ever.
00:25:05Hide a rock.
00:25:06She thinks it's the height of human innovation.
00:25:09So what exactly was your plan here?
00:25:13To rob the place.
00:25:15Why?
00:25:16Why?
00:25:18We've been talking about it forever.
00:25:21So I found a good place.
00:25:23No, you found a terrible place.
00:25:24I wanted to rob someplace cool, not your ex-fiancé's new fiancé's house.
00:25:29It's a good place.
00:25:32There's jewelry.
00:25:36Diamonds.
00:25:38Diamonds.
00:25:39She has diamonds.
00:25:41A diamond, for sure.
00:25:43Wait, are we just here to steal back your engagement ring?
00:25:46She shouldn't have kept it.
00:25:47Holy shit.
00:25:48She shouldn't have, and she knows it.
00:25:49Why did you just ask for it back?
00:25:51There was a lot going on.
00:25:53We both wanted the Cuisinart to get a big argument about who put down the security deposit.
00:25:58You've got to be kidding me.
00:26:00Neither of us even thought about the ring.
00:26:02And then I did.
00:26:04And then I thought, well, if I realize it, then she realizes it.
00:26:08And she'll bring it back soon.
00:26:11And then she didn't.
00:26:13And then I thought, well, maybe that means something.
00:26:17Maybe she's not ready to let go.
00:26:20And then she got engaged.
00:26:27And then that was the last straw.
00:26:31This is the saddest heist in the long-storied history of crime.
00:26:37No, it's not.
00:26:38It's the perfect crime.
00:26:40I get my ring back.
00:26:41You get to steal his stupid rich guy stuff.
00:26:43Except that.
00:26:44That's not his.
00:26:45That's hers.
00:26:46I gave that to her.
00:26:47Even better.
00:26:47You get it back, too.
00:26:48No.
00:26:49Look.
00:26:50She kept it.
00:26:51Here.
00:26:52In her house.
00:26:53With her fiancé.
00:26:55On a table.
00:26:56All by itself.
00:26:58Don't you see?
00:26:59I'm still here.
00:27:03She still has a thing for me.
00:27:05She doesn't have a thing for you.
00:27:07She has a thing for this thing.
00:27:09This thing is nice.
00:27:10I'm nice.
00:27:12She's engaged to another guy.
00:27:14She can still change her mind.
00:27:16I know this.
00:27:17So she kept your ring.
00:27:22And she kept your lamp.
00:27:24So she's going to get back together with you?
00:27:26Maybe.
00:27:28Maybe.
00:27:31What about the girl up there?
00:27:33Who?
00:27:34The girl we just taped up.
00:27:36The house sitter.
00:27:38I don't know.
00:27:38What about her?
00:27:39She's a friend.
00:27:41And she's seen your face.
00:27:43So you and Jessica are going to get back together.
00:27:46And you're going to run into her.
00:27:47And she's going to be like,
00:27:48Oh, do you know Leo?
00:27:50Oh, yeah.
00:27:51He tied me up in your bedroom that one time.
00:27:56Guys?
00:27:57She's not the quiet type.
00:28:01Hey, guys?
00:28:02Oh, yeah.
00:28:03Come on.
00:28:07Guys!
00:28:09That's not quiet shouting.
00:28:10That's regular, loud shouting.
00:28:13Sorry, I really have to go to the bathroom.
00:28:17Could you stop it?
00:28:19Does it look okay?
00:28:21It's fine.
00:28:22Okay.
00:28:24She has to go to the bathroom.
00:28:26How bad?
00:28:27Pretty bad.
00:28:28Okay, let's tear a little hole in the sheet around her.
00:28:33I'm not doing that.
00:28:34That's super rapey.
00:28:35It's not rapey.
00:28:37It's we're being courteous.
00:28:40Okay.
00:28:40You have to go to the bathroom.
00:28:42That's no one's fault.
00:28:44We appreciate that you didn't soil the bed.
00:28:47That shows a lot of respect.
00:28:48Not towards us specifically, but just, you know, general respect towards humankind and societal norms.
00:28:58So that's a good trust-building move.
00:29:00Am I right?
00:29:01Sure.
00:29:02Okay.
00:29:03So, you showed some respect.
00:29:06We will do likewise and untape you, okay?
00:29:10Yes, please.
00:29:11But just to go to the bathroom.
00:29:13That's it.
00:29:14So you can tend to your needs.
00:29:16Then, we'll tape you back up.
00:29:19I understand.
00:29:22Okay.
00:29:24Doug, let's...
00:29:30Oh!
00:29:33It's tearing the sheet a little here.
00:29:34See?
00:29:35Sheets were my idea.
00:29:37Didn't want to tear up your skin.
00:29:41It was nothing.
00:29:43Anyone would have...
00:29:44I mean, he didn't.
00:29:45Hey!
00:29:45But really, anyone.
00:29:47Whoa!
00:29:48What?
00:29:49I'm not dressed.
00:29:50You're not undressed.
00:29:52You're wearing underwear.
00:29:53Well, still, that's not the point.
00:29:54We've already seen you.
00:29:56Well, I'd prefer that you did not see me again.
00:29:59I don't know if this helps, but you really shouldn't have any body shame.
00:30:03What?
00:30:04I'm just saying your overall fitness seems high.
00:30:07Whatever work you're doing is really paying off.
00:30:10You should be super proud of the, um, results.
00:30:13That's enough.
00:30:16You're in your underwear.
00:30:17You have to go to the bathroom.
00:30:19Those are just two facts.
00:30:20Deal with them.
00:30:21We don't care.
00:30:23We're not perverts.
00:30:24We're thieves.
00:30:25Okay?
00:30:26Now, let's go.
00:30:27Ugh!
00:30:28There's a window, so, uh, we're going in with you.
00:30:40Why?
00:30:41So you don't run away.
00:30:43I'm not gonna run away.
00:30:44I'm in my underwear.
00:30:44Who cares?
00:30:45Cindy Birdsong jumped out of a moving vehicle on the Long Beach Freeway to avoid capture.
00:30:50A little panty dash is nothing.
00:30:51Who's Cindy Birdsong?
00:30:52One of the Supremes.
00:30:54Why do you know that?
00:30:54Because I'm an educated person.
00:30:57Come on.
00:30:58Well, both of you?
00:31:00Fine.
00:31:01I'll go.
00:31:02Okay, because I have to go number two.
00:31:05Fine.
00:31:06I'll flip for it.
00:31:07Heads.
00:31:18Hey.
00:31:19Um, you can have a little bit of dignity, anyhow.
00:31:31Let's see what else.
00:31:34That'll help a little, but you've got to give me the mercy flush.
00:31:38What?
00:31:38Just as soon as it, you know, hits the water, just get rid of it.
00:31:44Flush it.
00:31:46Now is not the time for water conservation.
00:31:49Okay.
00:31:50Let's see.
00:31:51She normally has a lavender.
00:31:54People have lavender spray.
00:32:01You do that, and I'll use these.
00:32:07That'll, uh, mask any of, uh, maybe turn on the shower.
00:32:14Why?
00:32:15Just to cover up any noises.
00:32:18Okay.
00:32:24Good.
00:32:26Uh, do you feel good?
00:32:27Uh, yeah.
00:32:28Okay.
00:32:29Um, then get to it, I guess.
00:32:41My name's not Doug, just so you know.
00:32:44It doesn't matter what my real name is, I just don't like Doug.
00:32:51Don't want you thinking of me as a Doug.
00:32:57We actually probably have stuff in common.
00:33:04Friends, maybe, even, like, the point is, it's a small world.
00:33:11That's all I'm saying.
00:33:11Hey, the system's working well, though, isn't it?
00:33:19I haven't, I wouldn't even know.
00:33:21You guys okay in there?
00:33:28Carly!
00:33:29Carly!
00:33:31Stay there!
00:33:32Don't hurt him!
00:33:33You fuckers are letting me go!
00:33:35Okay, yes, just stay calm!
00:33:36I am calm!
00:33:37I will calmly choke your friend to death!
00:33:39No, no, no, don't, no, don't, look, look, he's fading!
00:33:42He's just, just let us out, and we'll go away, and it'll be like, this never happened.
00:33:46Okay, all right, just let me go!
00:33:48Okay, yes, just let us out!
00:33:50Okay!
00:33:51Wait, what?
00:33:52Let you out?
00:33:52What are you talking about?
00:33:53The alarm!
00:33:54Just let us out, and we'll be fucking gone!
00:33:56The alarm's off!
00:33:57No, we armed it.
00:33:58It was an accident, so just type in the code, and we'll be gone, and that's that.
00:34:02I swear!
00:34:07I saw clouds. People made of clouds.
00:34:10And they were going...
00:34:11It's okay. It's okay. You're alright.
00:34:13You're alright. We're getting out of here.
00:34:16You armed it?
00:34:17I was establishing a pattern.
00:34:22What's wrong?
00:34:24I don't know the code.
00:34:27Why not?
00:34:28I'm not the house sitter.
00:34:37Why would a pet need a taxi?
00:34:39It's a thing, okay?
00:34:40People want to get their dogs to the groomers
00:34:42or off to the kennel before they go away.
00:34:45One percenters, man.
00:34:47Yeah. They will throw down for their pets.
00:34:49It's crazy. I don't mean that like a figure of speech.
00:34:51I mean like...
00:34:53I've seen a dog with a collar that cost 500 bucks.
00:34:56Can you believe that shit?
00:34:58500 American for a dog collar.
00:35:02So you pick up the dog and take it to the kennel.
00:35:04Why would they give you a key?
00:35:06They didn't.
00:35:08Hide a rock?
00:35:09What?
00:35:10How did you get in?
00:35:11I picked the lock.
00:35:15You okay?
00:35:17Sorry, it's just...
00:35:20It's really cool.
00:35:21What's your deal?
00:35:24She has a dog.
00:35:26I've always wanted a dog, but she wouldn't let us.
00:35:29Now?
00:35:30Fucking dog?
00:35:32Wait.
00:35:34Do you guys know these people?
00:35:35His ex-fiancee.
00:35:36Shut up.
00:35:37That is crazier than a 500 dollar dog collar.
00:35:40No, it's not.
00:35:41I'm just here to get back my engagement ring.
00:35:43Wait, she kept the ring?
00:35:45What a cunt.
00:35:46Hey, whoa, no.
00:35:47She is not a cunt.
00:35:48Are you sure about that?
00:35:49Because that's a straight up cunt move.
00:35:50Yes, I'm sure.
00:35:52Pretty sure.
00:35:53Okay, so don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not really getting a master cat burglar vibe from you guys.
00:36:10You don't know us.
00:36:12I know that you turned on the security system somehow.
00:36:16I was establishing a pattern.
00:36:18How did you know it wasn't armed in the first place, huh?
00:36:21You just waltz in, pick the lock.
00:36:24That's reckless.
00:36:25Because I saw them not arm it.
00:36:27I came to pick up the dog.
00:36:28They were hustling about.
00:36:30He was like, uh, do you need to put anything in the spot?
00:36:32And she was like, um, my laptop.
00:36:34And then he was like, uh, it's already in there.
00:36:36And then they left, locked the door, no alarm.
00:36:39Something I look for.
00:36:42Something you look for?
00:36:43Yeah.
00:36:44Why?
00:36:46So I don't get arrested.
00:36:47Wait, this is like a thing you do?
00:36:50Yeah.
00:36:51I mean, they're gone.
00:36:52My apartment's a dump.
00:36:54And they've got laundry and HBO.
00:36:56It's like a fucking resort in these places.
00:36:59Relaxing.
00:37:07Until now.
00:37:08Now it's all stressful.
00:37:10Now I need a drink.
00:37:12Where are you going?
00:37:13Wine.
00:37:14Wait, uh, we need to figure out how we're gonna get out.
00:37:17Okay, they're not gonna be home for a couple of days.
00:37:19I believe I have time for a glass of wine.
00:37:27In the old days, that alarm code would have been our anniversary.
00:37:32Did you guys have an alarm in that shitty apartment?
00:37:34God, no.
00:37:35But she used our anniversary for everything.
00:37:37It was her PIN number, her bank password.
00:37:41If we hadn't broken up, I could have gotten us out of here.
00:37:44If you hadn't broken up, we wouldn't be here.
00:37:47Even better.
00:37:49It's like she's still finding new ways to hurt me.
00:37:53What are you looking for?
00:37:55The dusty ones.
00:37:56They've been keeping those the longest, so that means they're good.
00:38:00Then you just pack out the bottle.
00:38:02They assume that they drank it and forgot.
00:38:04I mean, that's the beauty of booze.
00:38:05Makes things fuzzy.
00:38:10What'd you get?
00:38:11Zinfando.
00:38:12Ah, Primitivo.
00:38:14That's its other name.
00:38:17You learn.
00:38:18Sangiovese.
00:38:20Sangiovese.
00:38:21Blood of Jove.
00:38:23It's the only grape named after a god.
00:38:27That's good.
00:38:29Come on.
00:38:30Let us go be gods.
00:38:40I stole money from the collection plate at church.
00:38:43I told a guy that I was pregnant and let him believe it for three days.
00:38:48I kissed my step-mom.
00:38:51She was asleep.
00:38:53Did she wake up?
00:38:55Yeah.
00:38:57Okay, you win.
00:38:58Do I though?
00:38:59No.
00:39:01Oh!
00:39:03Hey!
00:39:06Mmm.
00:39:08This is tasty.
00:39:09Which?
00:39:10Le poufle puff.
00:39:11The French.
00:39:17Oh, sorry.
00:39:18What's your name?
00:39:19Marlon.
00:39:20The other one.
00:39:23Wait, Marlon?
00:39:24Yeah.
00:39:25Like the fish?
00:39:26No, like Marlon Brando.
00:39:28Oh.
00:39:29That's funny.
00:39:30I never think of the fish with him.
00:39:32I guess because it's never just Marlon, it's Marlon Brando.
00:39:36What's your last name?
00:39:37It's, uh...
00:39:38Don't tell her your last name.
00:39:40You shouldn't have told her your first name.
00:39:42I told you mine.
00:39:43Did you?
00:39:44Yes, it's Darcy.
00:39:45Is it?
00:39:46The fuck, dude?
00:39:47Yes.
00:39:48Why would I lie about that?
00:39:49Because you're a liar.
00:39:50Because you break into people's houses.
00:39:51That's not trustworthy behavior.
00:39:54You guys broke in.
00:39:55No, we used the key.
00:39:58You're robbing the place.
00:39:59Not yet.
00:40:00We haven't taken anything yet.
00:40:02Clearly you intend to.
00:40:03You're going to take that lamp.
00:40:04You've been carrying it around with you from room to room.
00:40:06It's as good as gone.
00:40:08No, we're not taking it.
00:40:09I'm carrying it around to keep him from taking it.
00:40:11So that just goes to show what you know.
00:40:14Did you know Niagara Falls is actually three separate falls?
00:40:20Bridal Veil.
00:40:21Stop it.
00:40:22Jesus.
00:40:23You lug around for all this useless trivia.
00:40:26And for what?
00:40:27Hold on.
00:40:28At least I know real stuff.
00:40:31You're the world's leading expert and a woman that doesn't even love you anymore.
00:40:34So when are you going to put that to good use?
00:40:36When we're back together.
00:40:37It's a, it's a cool lamp though.
00:40:47Yeah.
00:40:49Have you ever been?
00:40:51Niagara Falls.
00:40:54It's a lot of water.
00:40:57An impossible amount of water.
00:40:59It's inevitable.
00:41:02Just keeps coming and come.
00:41:07And the noise, it...
00:41:12You don't even hear it.
00:41:15It's not like something else anymore.
00:41:19It's just...
00:41:25It's the only thing there is.
00:41:32It's terrifying.
00:41:38And then someone holds your hand.
00:41:45And your skin...
00:41:48And the air...
00:41:51And this noise...
00:41:57It's everything.
00:42:00You know everything.
00:42:03You've got it.
00:42:04all in your hand.
00:42:14It's the happiest we ever were.
00:42:18And she's kept me here with her.
00:42:22You see?
00:42:25So I'm staying.
00:42:30The lamp stays.
00:42:34I'm going to look for that key.
00:42:53So your folks, Marlon Brando fans?
00:42:57Marlon Jackson.
00:43:00The Jackson Five.
00:43:01It's, uh, not Michael, Jermaine, Tito, Jackie.
00:43:10Michael, Jermaine, Tito, Jackie.
00:43:14Marlon.
00:43:19You should never tell anybody that ever again.
00:43:22We all know what we already know.
00:43:35We all know what we already know.
00:43:49And we all know what we already know.
00:44:03And we all know what we already know.
00:44:06And we all know what we already know.
00:44:18Hey, hey.
00:44:25Hey, hey, hey.
00:44:32Hey, hey.
00:44:34We all know what we already know.
00:44:40Hey.
00:44:41Oh, I was just trying it on.
00:45:03What?
00:45:04It's nice.
00:45:05I...
00:45:06It's just...
00:45:07Is it Jessica's?
00:45:10I don't care.
00:45:12You should take it.
00:45:14It looks nice on you.
00:45:19Did you find anything?
00:45:22No.
00:45:24I just thought...
00:45:26Five years we were together, maybe there'd be one picture of me?
00:45:32Well, maybe he's the jealous type.
00:45:34I mean, dudes don't really want to see photos of ex-boyfriends lying around.
00:45:38Ex-fiance.
00:45:39Even worse.
00:45:41She's pretty.
00:45:47Look at this guy.
00:45:49His face is too big for his head.
00:45:53So, yeah, he definitely doesn't want to see photos of you.
00:45:58That's the kind of guy who names his dog Fido.
00:46:02What?
00:46:03Yeah.
00:46:04They named their dog Fido.
00:46:05No shit.
00:46:06Like straight out of a comic book or something.
00:46:08That was my name.
00:46:10Wait, so it's not Doug?
00:46:13That's what I was going to name our dog.
00:46:15She wouldn't let us get.
00:46:16I always told her.
00:46:17Wouldn't that be funny?
00:46:18It's like everyone thinks of that as a dog's name, but no one actually names their dog that.
00:46:23Here, Fido.
00:46:24It'd be fucking hilarious.
00:46:25It'd be a unique cliché.
00:46:27In canine form.
00:46:29See, you get it.
00:46:39Hello, beautiful.
00:46:51That motherfucker's got a dog named Fido and he doesn't even know why.
00:47:08Dumb shit.
00:47:09Yeah.
00:47:10Oh, maybe you don't have any pictures of me in your house, but you're running around saying,
00:47:15here, Fido.
00:47:16Come, Fido.
00:47:17Might as well be balls deep in your old lady, man.
00:47:20He's your cuckold.
00:47:21What's that?
00:47:23It's where one guy watches the other guy have sex with his girl and likes it.
00:47:28That's a thing?
00:47:29Yeah.
00:47:30Ugh.
00:47:32Don't judge.
00:47:33It's too easy.
00:47:34You know, you find something that makes you feel good.
00:47:37That's hard to come by.
00:47:42When you choked me.
00:47:44Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
00:47:46I was just...
00:47:47It's okay.
00:47:48I just...
00:47:50Right at the end there, just as I was starting to black out, it was the most euphoric thing
00:48:05I've ever felt in my life.
00:48:06It was the most euphoric thing I've ever felt in my life.
00:48:12All right.
00:48:13And we would gjort off Harlem phone.
00:48:14And I don't know Susan said the same period, but I was literally 2015 by building up the back OF the world to begin tonight.
00:48:17So we going to be이랑 parameters please, and we can win or clean up the 만큼 of sunshine.
00:48:19Look out.
00:48:21Here we go.
00:48:22Okay.
00:48:23What's up?
00:48:24We're going to have to take a great time.
00:48:25you found the computer I did why are you wearing a robe
00:48:55because Jessica's fiance has terrible toilet aim I can't find the code by the
00:49:00way I'm looking for hours found a lot of other stuff but no alarm code what have
00:49:09you been up to oh fell asleep the wine you know is this all the jewelry you
00:49:16found why do you want to add it to the jewelry you found no it's just my rings
00:49:22not here maybe she got rid of it what's that mean you know sold it gave it away
00:49:30throw it in the ocean what's this diary Jessica's yeah how do you know did you
00:49:45read it I'm looking for the code morning morning anyone want breakfast I'm buying
00:49:55I'm not in here at all I noticed that I mean I didn't expect to be on every page
00:50:05but maybe one mention would be nice oh I thought of Leo today in passing he's a
00:50:11person that I remember yeah some people just aren't much for history it's got to
00:50:20be at least one you look stressed you want some tomato juice yeah did I tell you
00:50:30that tell me what that tomato juice calms me down come on man oh 11 11
00:50:40one hundred four thousand nine hundred dollars that's what we're up to it's been
00:50:50five hundred and twenty five days since our last winter twice a day every day at 11 11 we pose the
00:50:57impossible and the good kind folks at black bear market add another hundred dollars to the
00:51:02kitty call with the answer within 22 seconds and that kitty's all yours so simple if it
00:51:10weren't impossible so phones at the ready here it comes other than Elvis Presley
00:51:16turn it off turn it off turn it off what the fuck the fuck is wrong with you people
00:51:26other than Elvis Presley who outlived his twin brother at childbirth and went on to have
00:51:32four number one singles in one calendar year Marlon Jackson it's Marlon Jackson it's ringing
00:51:40they're coming home
00:52:07where are they now I don't know she posted this an hour ago headed home early I wonder what happened
00:52:19who cares why are you creeping on her Facebook like that I'm not creep that's irrelevant to the
00:52:26situation okay they're coming home here now where were they I don't know Hawaii creeper don't
00:52:34all right you're the creeper always breaking into houses trying on people's lives because you don't
00:52:41like your own my life is fine I just do it for the thrill well I had a real life once and it was
00:52:54pretty fucking thrilling okay look Hawaii is a long flight they have to get their baggage
00:53:02there's the cab ride we've got some time to do what we either get caught by her or we trip the alarm and
00:53:09get caught by the cops I choose the cops are you serious if we get caught by her she's gonna call
00:53:16the cops it all ends in cops not if we talk our way out of it how am I gonna talk my way out of it
00:53:20she knows me intimately oh so am I like hey Jessica wow what are you doing here we're just trying to
00:53:27rob this place small world after all huh okay so we hide you and the fish and I do the talking
00:53:33actually she knows me too she hates me okay so we hide both of you fine so say that you spin a real
00:53:47silver-tongued yarn and they let you go how do we get out I don't care
00:53:53she is not a good person I mean I know it's not easy to be a good person when times are tough but
00:54:06that's how you know if you're a good person in the first place you know yeah I do that I used to
00:54:14I know exactly what you mean let's go make a plan
00:54:20we dig under and out I don't think we have that kind of time okay um we set a fire where in the
00:54:32house in the fireplace no we set the house on fire lots of smoke confusion and then we slip away under
00:54:40the uh cover of chaos or we die in a terrible house fire okay then same idea no fire what's the
00:54:54fireless fire we just go trip the alarm and hide in the trees okay cops come look around think it's a
00:55:03false alarm and then uh we get out of here all right that's progress but we're still inside the gate
00:55:10the whole community is fenced in we're like zoo animals so we just climb the fence okay uh if we can
00:55:21that would put us inside another gated community ah I who are these people trying to protect
00:55:30themselves from each other are there marauding gangs of volvo drivers we don't know about
00:55:36you need the code I've looked everywhere well maybe it's in the garage that lockbox no
00:55:43you found the key no it wasn't um with the other keys I haven't seen it so probably just you know
00:55:53just what
00:55:55um
00:55:58well might as well look for it might be our only hope
00:56:04yeah okay
00:56:07what are you doing if we open the doors of the rooms we've already searched then we know
00:56:18we've already been there we're looking for a tiny key or a four-digit code you think you
00:56:22search these rooms well enough to just I'm working in broad strokes okay fine
00:56:27watch the door
00:56:32what the fuck is going on who did this how did they get in here no no no what the fuck
00:56:38is going on here just leave it leave me we're not gonna leave you I'll be fine just worry
00:56:42about yourself who did this how did they get in nobody who how many nobody did it there's
00:56:47nobody here there's nobody here no then who tied you up
00:56:55so you were just gonna sell us up the river don't get pissed off at me just because I had a plan
00:57:09how'd you tie yourself up like that that's not the point Marlon she picks locks she ties herself up in
00:57:15elaborate knots you don't find that a curious skill set for a dog walker I'm not a dog walker see
00:57:20they show up you're gagged and bound so you're just a fellow victim of this senseless crime you're
00:57:27the ones who locked us in I'm just looking for a way out devious very very devious why are your
00:57:34clothes off well it was just one idea probably not the best one can we just move on why are they
00:57:40ripped again the clock is ticking let's not waste time reliving past mistakes
00:57:50if I needed to and only if they were not buying my story I might have had to go with more of a
00:57:57kind of a sexual assault angle what devious dirty little looking at it from your perspective I can
00:58:07see how that was probably too far probably definitely definitely too far and I'm so glad it didn't come to
00:58:15that but you know there are always like a couple clunkers when you're brainstorming what we weren't
00:58:20brainstorming you were setting us up for charges of kidnapping of assault and battery and rape and
00:58:26burglary that doesn't concern me right now well that's where we're back to burglary I haven't
00:58:31taken anything so breaking and entering maybe we didn't break anything we used the key we did
00:58:39stain the rug but that's not technically broken the point is we're in trouble trouble it's just an
00:58:47opportunity they got turned around am I right yeah what kind of fortune cookie bullshit is that that's
00:58:54not bullshit that is solid deep thinking hey fish you know where you found everything else what about
00:59:04it are you sure you didn't miss anything yes I'm sure I didn't miss anything I don't need the
00:59:10accusations thank you very much worth looking at though why are you taking her side I'm not taking
00:59:18anyone's side I'm just saying it's worth double checking oh fucked up I can't feel anything told
00:59:32you get way back in there I am maybe we should get a flashlight is there a flashlight any what is
00:59:39this nothing it's not what you think it is what do I think it is I don't know I just didn't think you
00:59:56need a distraction we're trying to get out of here you know sorry holy shit sometimes I wake up and
01:00:15think Leo is there in the bed beside me and my heart sinks when I realize he used to say trouble is just an
01:00:23opportunity that got turned around but I don't know if I'll ever get turned back or Carl walked
01:00:27in on me crying during a documentary about Niagara Falls everything every feeling was still right
01:00:33I wish I could just have a tomato juice and calm down it worked for Leo I have to drink it by the
01:00:39gallon things got tough with Leo and I wasn't a good person so maybe I was never a good person in the
01:00:46first place I know that now why would she cut out the pages of her own all that time with Jessica I never
01:01:03she dumped you left I'm still here always
01:01:13we've been talking about this heist for forever and you know a little bit of excitement doing our
01:01:22own thing some teamwork but now it's just the same shit you had Jessica now you have her
01:01:29her she's gonna tell the cops that I raped her I believe I apologized this is the whole reason
01:01:37that we broke in here no it's the whole reason you broke in here this is crazy this this changes
01:01:43everything she's I know the code what I know the code it's our anniversary no you don't know no I
01:01:58no you don't know you're gonna fuck around and get us all arrested just because you read some cotton
01:02:04candy thoughts in her little girl diary but you don't know the code okay now we haven't been at
01:02:11our best any of us and maybe someday we'll all sit down break bread and have our apologies and tender
01:02:19moments and whatnot and that'll be nice I'm sure but right now this is over I'm getting us out of here
01:02:27because I know there now let's go
01:02:44let's go we gotta run hide in the bushes we have to say what are you nuts no there's only one way out
01:03:00yeah the door let's go no it's not the door it's him he's right he knows
01:03:09hello
01:03:33this is the police
01:03:41everybody okay
01:03:51oh
01:03:53oh thank god honey honey the security guard's here
01:04:13oh I'm so sorry what I'm so sorry about this kill the alarm I'm on the scene hold the backup stand by
01:04:26oh oh god thank you I'm sorry I I misplaced a little slip of paper that my sister wrote the code on for me
01:04:40so god that alarm is such a pain sometimes
01:04:43yeah sometimes
01:04:46you said miss deavers is your sister
01:04:52that's right
01:04:53that's me
01:04:56and my sister jessica
01:04:58the homeowner with our younger sister carla and mom and dad
01:05:04it's a virginia city have you ever been
01:05:08nope
01:05:09oh it's a thing to see just like you'd have pictured the old west to bend
01:05:14like it's a lot of fun
01:05:16well I'll have to check that out sometime
01:05:19you'll have to take me
01:05:21god he talks about it all the time but we've never gone
01:05:24well you know
01:05:26you get busy
01:05:27I've met your folks before
01:05:30yeah your dad
01:05:34Randy
01:05:35yeah
01:05:36Randy
01:05:38he helped me out I was having some trouble with the gate
01:05:42oh I bet he loved that
01:05:45he's so good with those sorts of things
01:05:47he should have been a mechanic or maybe a surgeon
01:05:50even anything but insurance
01:05:53yeah well yeah he fixed it right up so
01:05:56and your mom made these uh
01:05:59I hope it was the lemon bars
01:06:01yeah that's right
01:06:02lucky
01:06:03those are the only things she knows how to make
01:06:06well they were good so
01:06:08you know you dodged a bullet
01:06:09seriously
01:06:11I've never seen a woman make more of a disaster of snickerdoodles
01:06:14it's terrible but you have to eat them
01:06:17I don't remember you folks coming in
01:06:19oh you know I think the uh the other gentleman was working
01:06:25Leslie
01:06:26oh I don't
01:06:28um
01:06:29yeah he did work the day shift
01:06:33normally he lets me know if we have visitors
01:06:36yeah well well if there's some paperwork they were supposed to fill out or something we'd be happy to do it
01:06:41no and you know just normally people let us know if they're gonna have guests while they're away
01:06:46well Jessica details aren't really her thing
01:06:50but she just told us to get out of the city for a couple days and you know spend some quiet time together
01:06:56you just got engaged
01:06:59well congratulations
01:07:01yeah thank you
01:07:02that's fantastic
01:07:03thanks
01:07:04phone's ready
01:07:04here it comes
01:07:06what is the only varietal of grape that is actually named after a god
01:07:12can we get you something to eat
01:07:19oh god I'd offer you some soup but
01:07:22that darn alarm went off and
01:07:24god it surprised me
01:07:26uh maybe some pretzels or chips or
01:07:30ravioli
01:07:32some people don't like eating it out of the can but it reminds me of growing up
01:07:38uh no I'm good thank you
01:07:41oh I'm totally on the collar and just in time
01:07:44hello are you ready to reveal the impossible
01:07:47yes it's Sangio Facy
01:07:50uh I'm sorry you need to speak up please
01:07:53it's Sangio Facy
01:07:56that's correct
01:07:57whoa
01:07:59whoa
01:08:00oh
01:08:01that is some people have all the luck huh
01:08:05man I bet that guy's partying hard wherever he is
01:08:12huh no doubt
01:08:14congratulations you've just won $105,000 what's your name
01:08:19Marlon
01:08:20like the fish
01:08:22yeah yeah I like the fish
01:08:26oh well apologies again for causing all the ruckus
01:08:35yeah no problem at all
01:08:37happens all the time
01:08:38these alarms are more trouble than they're worth
01:08:41I mean to be honest it's kind of a letdown
01:08:44just once I want to come in guns a blazing
01:08:46have it out with some scumbags
01:08:48we can dream though right
01:08:51yeah have a good night
01:08:52oh shit
01:08:55sorry guys
01:08:57I just gotta go by the book with this kind of stuff
01:09:01of course
01:09:02I just need you to tell me the safe word
01:09:05rutabaga
01:09:06sorry that's our safe word
01:09:09ah sorry overshare
01:09:11honey
01:09:12uh safe word
01:09:15yeah you know the word you're supposed to know when you're in the house
01:09:19just clears that you're actually allowed to be here
01:09:22mm-hmm
01:09:23you can call your sister if you need to that's fine
01:09:29one word you say
01:09:42yeah
01:09:43honey
01:09:50you know
01:09:53Niagara
01:10:09that's the one
01:10:14you guys have a good night
01:10:16oh you too
01:10:17oh hey
01:10:18um you can leave that open
01:10:20we're gonna head to the store in a second
01:10:22start over with that soup
01:10:24soup yeah
01:10:25sounds good to me
01:10:48let's get the fuck out of here
01:10:50fish
01:10:51did you hear that shit
01:10:53let's go
01:10:53$105,000
01:10:55congratulations
01:10:56let's go
01:10:57let's load these up
01:10:58no time
01:10:58what about the pizza
01:10:59what?
01:11:00our ride?
01:11:01I have my car
01:11:02go
01:11:02go
01:11:03go
01:11:03hold on let me make room for you
01:11:14you leave anything there
01:11:19no
01:11:21no wait
01:11:23oh
01:11:23ow
01:11:24goodbye
01:11:35goodbye
01:11:44Chocolate chip pancakes?
01:12:08Those sound amazing.
01:12:11Yeah, people like them.
01:12:12You know what? We might be one percenters. Almost.
01:12:16You know, collectively, our forces combined.
01:12:19But with this kind of seed money, we could plan a proper job.
01:12:23You know, we're experienced now.
01:12:25We can go big. Something with grappling hooks.
01:12:28Or go all D.B. Cooper. Fucking legends.
01:12:31Maybe we could just get a little breakfast first and then see...
01:12:35Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
01:12:37Breakfast is on me, by the way.
01:12:39Hmm.
01:12:41Huh.
01:12:42I should give this to that guy.
01:12:44I'll get this one.
01:12:46I owe Darcy a breakfast anyhow.
01:12:52Okay, so now that we're all, um...
01:12:55It's actually Kate.
01:12:57My name.
01:13:01Devious.
01:13:03Where are you gonna put that lamp?
01:13:05Craigslist.
01:13:08It's our only score from the job.
01:13:10Well...
01:13:12And this.
01:13:14What?!
01:13:15That's crazy!
01:13:17Man, do they have celebration items on a breakfast menu?
01:13:20What would that be, like an enormous pile of bacon?
01:13:23We're going places, I'll tell you that.
01:13:26Non-tropical places.
01:13:27I'm standing my ground on that issue.
01:13:29But everything else is open.
01:13:30Because you gotta keep yourself open to new things.
01:13:32Keep it fresh.
01:13:34Otherwise you get stuck.
01:13:36I mean, you can't make a plan to know about something
01:13:38that you don't already know about.
01:13:41Hold up.
01:13:42That's fucking wisdom right there.
01:13:44Yeah?
01:13:45I just know it.
01:13:47I just know it.
01:14:17Me and my friends are doing fine.
01:14:21Hey!
01:14:24Me and my friends are doing fine.
01:14:28Hey!
01:14:32Just like the water falling...
01:14:35Hey!
01:14:36Down to the rocks, it never stops.
01:14:39The falling water never stops.
01:14:43Hey!
01:14:47Totallyλε 53
01:14:50Wow!
01:14:55Come on, damn!
01:14:56I'm so proud of you guys!
01:15:01We volley off the bar!
01:15:03Yeah!
01:15:04Your orange is bitter.
01:15:06Thank you so much for the light,
01:15:07Peace and clutching us up!
01:15:08Geez, you let you give it in here!
01:15:13I think it's great, too!
01:15:15With your hands on you,
01:15:16And every day just takes and takes
01:15:36And turns into the same mistakes
01:15:41And every day the same mistakes
01:15:48And every day the same mistakes
01:15:52The same mistakes and then a break
01:15:56Me and my friends are doing fine
01:16:03Me and my friends are doing fine
01:16:10Just like the water falling
01:16:16Down to the rocks it never stops
01:16:20The falling water never stops
01:16:40The falling water never stops
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