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  • 5 days ago
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Transcript
00:00I just feel like we should chill for a while.
00:04I think we should take a break.
00:05You're breaking up with me?
00:06It's not you.
00:07Of course it's me.
00:08It's me.
00:09I don't like you anymore.
00:10You said that I was your soulmate.
00:12I did?
00:12When?
00:13When we were at that bed and breakfast having sex.
00:15You know, that...
00:16That doesn't what?
00:17Count.
00:19I'm done with the relationship thing.
00:20You are reaching to the congregation.
00:24God, I miss sex.
00:26I mean, sometimes you just need it.
00:28Why does it always have to come with complications?
00:30And emotion.
00:31It's a physical act, like playing tennis.
00:33You want more beer?
00:34Yeah.
00:38Let's play tennis.
00:40My nipples are sensitive.
00:41I don't like dirty talk.
00:43My chin is ticklish.
00:44I sneeze sometimes after I...
00:45Ah!
00:48Aren't you friends who have sex?
00:52What, are you in college?
00:53Hey, hey, whoa!
00:54Mom!
00:54So my daughter is just your slam piece?
00:56No, a slam...
00:58I'm just kidding.
00:59Slam away.
01:01Ah!
01:02What's wrong?
01:02Nothing!
01:03Well, if women start to scream, it can be misconstrued.
01:05Just keep going!
01:06My butt.
01:07What?
01:08Oh, my butt.
01:09Really?
01:10No, I mean, my butt.
01:11It's cramping.
01:12Can you grab a pillow?
01:14So no butt?
01:15No.
01:16It's just sex.
01:18That never works.
01:19Nah, you don't get it, bro.
01:20Jamie's different.
01:21Does she have a penis where most girls have a vagina?
01:23No penis.
01:24Then she's no different.
01:25I think we should stop this.
01:26Is it your special time?
01:28They have an app for that.
01:29Nope, you're good to go.
01:31Before we were sex without emotion.
01:32And now we're emotion without sex.
01:34Exactly.
01:35No!
01:36I gotta stop buying into this Hollywood cliche of true love.
01:39Shut up, Katherine Heigl!
01:41I think I messed it up.
01:41If you think that there's one chance that she's the one, you fix it.
01:45Do you want some motherly love advice?
01:47Not really.
01:48Oh, good, because I don't know how to do that.
01:50Hey!
01:53Achoo!
01:54Really?
01:55Already?
01:56Just kidding.
01:57I like you so much better when you make it.
02:01I like me.
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