- 2 days ago
Fearless, fit, and fabulous, Malaika Arora opens up about simple health habits, and what it truly means to live on your own terms. From fitness to self-belief, she shares how to own every chapter of life with confidence and clarity.
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00:00What are the usual beauty hacks, health hacks that are not worth it?
00:29And what are actually worth it?
00:31I feel adding a little bit of wellness in my life has really enriched my life.
00:35It really has.
00:36Tell us about the supplements.
00:37What supplements are you on?
00:38Routine is your saving grace.
00:40Let me tell you, it will actually save you from a lot that goes on in life.
00:44In the world of, like I said, Manjaro, you have Ozempic.
00:47Berberine is a new supplement, they say, which is supposed to be age-defying.
00:51Are you on it?
00:59Effortlessly stylish, acutely charismatic and refreshingly unapologetic.
01:07Our next guest has just put out her book.
01:09And if you know her book, you know exactly who she is.
01:11We have with us on UnPolitics this evening.
01:16And if it wasn't for Bombay, Mumbai, we would possibly have a little fire here.
01:22Welcome, Malika Arora.
01:23Thank you so much for having me on your show, on your podcast.
01:29Well, I'm very happy you could have a mock fireplace.
01:33So you'll actually think and you start believing that it is.
01:35But it is Christmas.
01:36It's just the last few days.
01:38The best time of the year.
01:39For you, usually?
01:40I wait, I think, all year for this time.
01:42For this one month.
01:43It's like my most cherished time of the year.
01:46Why do you say that?
01:47I don't know.
01:48There's something about memories, about growing up, which, you know,
01:52have so much to do with Christmas, where family would get together.
01:56We, you know, just, you know, cousins would come into town and we'd all meet
02:00and amazing meals that are being cooked at home.
02:03So there's just so much of nostalgia.
02:05That's it.
02:05So grateful, hopeful as the, you know, air closes in, heartful, plateful,
02:12plateful, all of that.
02:16And also out with a new book, Malika, congratulations.
02:20That's right.
02:20That's right.
02:21It's right here with me, sitting pretty next to me.
02:24Yes.
02:24It's easy to be healthy.
02:25You seem to make it look like it's very easy to be healthy,
02:28but we're going to come, you know, come to that.
02:30But, you know, okay, let's begin with where we started.
02:33So the year is closing.
02:34It's Christmas time.
02:36I'm sure, are you the one, you know, a bit of nostalgia,
02:40a bit of melancholy who look back at the year gone by?
02:43Are you one of those?
02:44I tend to, yes.
02:46No, see, I'm somebody who's very pragmatic.
02:47I'm somebody who doesn't get really bogged down by things around me.
02:51But I think at the end of the year, you just, I don't know, for whatever it's worth,
02:55at least someone like me, I just kind of recap the year.
02:57I kind of go through the various beats of, you know, things that have happened,
03:02good, bad, highs, lows, all of it.
03:04And I kind of do sit and think about it and kind of, you know, wonder if there's anything
03:12I could have done differently or maybe I should have, you know, kind of handled something differently
03:16or maybe I should have gone out and, you know, something, whatever it may be.
03:20Yes, it's a whole lot of nostalgia at the end of the year.
03:22I kind of feel this time of the year, Christmas, December is all about reflection, selfless reflection.
03:28That's pretty much how I look at it.
03:30But I'm also someone who also looks forward to the new year.
03:36I'm not big on trial.
03:39Melancholy.
03:39You know, no, maybe not melancholy.
03:41I'm making, yeah, but I'm big on nostalgia.
03:43But I look forward to the new year.
03:46I just do.
03:46I just feel like I set myself up to a lot of goals for the year.
03:50And I feel I need to kind of really tick mark that through the year.
03:56Okay.
03:56So if you look back this year, Malaika, and we are now practically the fag end, is, so what
04:02worked?
04:03What didn't work?
04:04What were the highs?
04:05What were the lows?
04:06Actually, it's been a fantastic year, I have to say, for on a level purely, like I said,
04:12there are a few, you know, things off my bucket list that I've always wanted.
04:15And it's kind of happened right from opening my restaurant, which happened literally beginning
04:20of the year.
04:20This time, exactly.
04:21I believe it has a Christmas menu.
04:23End of the year, you know, so my restaurant opened, we, and in.
04:28Congratulations.
04:29Thank you so much.
04:29We opened the Scarlet House in Bandra.
04:32And from there, we actually, in six months, we actually opened another branch of it in
04:36Mumbai itself.
04:37So that for me was a huge achievement and a huge tick off that bucket list of mine.
04:44And yes, we're doing a beautiful Christmas menu, which is all my mom's favorites and,
04:50you know, all family favorites.
04:52Again, it's all on nostalgia.
04:53I think we kind of really, we really crush on nostalgia.
04:57The smells of Christmas, huh?
04:59So that, you know, that's what the menu must be all about.
05:02Oh, yes.
05:03It's literally, it's like food.
05:05You know, smells always do that, right?
05:07Smells bring back memories, you know, whether it's food or whether it's a scent or whether
05:12it's, you know, just sometimes you enter a certain space, it kind of just brings back
05:16a certain sense of deja vu.
05:18So yes, food does that.
05:19I mean, I always associate it with a certain time in my life, a certain growing, you know,
05:24aspect of my life, maybe when I was 16 or maybe when I was 25 or 40, you know, so I kind
05:29of always have these little, little remembrance that I kind of hold on to.
05:34And smell is a huge part of that.
05:36I think you just, you know, just like I said, it just takes you back in time.
05:42Malaika, you know, it's, you make it look very easy.
05:45And, you know, let's talk about your book then, and then we'll just move on a bit.
05:48But you make it look very easy.
05:50How easy is it to be healthy?
05:52You talk about the food.
05:53A lot of people would be saying, I don't think she eats.
05:55No, nothing in life is easy.
05:57There's a certain amount of effort that goes and a certain amount of consistency, a certain
06:01amount of discipline that goes into every aspect of life.
06:05If I'm somebody who lives by it, I've closed, I mean, I think closing the year with, was
06:10releasing my book was again, something that is, that has just made me feel so grateful.
06:16I feel like my heart is full and my plate is full.
06:19I just feel so happy about it because it's been something that's, that's there in the
06:23pipeline, but I always feel there's a time and place for everything.
06:26And that's probably why it says it's easy to be healthy because I think I've tried to go
06:31about it in a way, which is fairly organic, which is not preachy, which is not heavy on
06:38your pocket, which is, which can be doable, which is very doable.
06:43So I think I've kind of touched upon all these things and all of it is trial and error.
06:47All of it is literally out of my, my playbook.
06:51So it's not like I've, you know, it's not like I'm talking about things which I will
06:58do or I'm not so sure about.
07:00It's all literally stuff that I've, I've experimented over the years.
07:03You've done over the years.
07:03You've perfected, some have failed, some have worked.
07:05You've put them, so this book was in the making for, I would reckon, a decade and a
07:08half.
07:08I think it's been in my head forever.
07:11Like I've always been that kind of person who'd make a little footnote.
07:14Like every time I'd eat something or I'd try something or I'd cook something or I'd
07:17have some, a shot, I'd always make a little footnote just for my own, you know, I'm just,
07:22I'm a complete, I love scribbling.
07:24So that's something I, I've always done.
07:26So I just felt if I could actually put all of that together and, you know, and, and a
07:31question often asked, you know, is, okay, how do you do this?
07:34And what do you eat?
07:35And, you know, what time do you sleep?
07:37So I said, why not just put it all together?
07:39Because these are little aspects of my life that, that actually make the person that I
07:44am or who, you know, the person that I, or the, or the little things that I live by.
07:49So I just said, why not put it all in a book?
07:51No, you know, the fact is if you're on the cover of a book like that, there'd be many
07:55who'd pick it up, like I'd pick it up because I can't get my eyes off you.
07:58And then I'm sorry because I hit these ageist jibes.
08:01But for most Indian women, or I don't, I rarely know any who look as good as you at the age
08:06that you are.
08:07It is amazing.
08:08But again, there's so much of emphasis on, on how you look or how it is.
08:13But, but, you know, but that's also the nature of the game.
08:16Well, of course, I agree.
08:17I mean, it's totally part and parcel of who you are.
08:20Of the business that we are in.
08:21And, but I guess everything revolves around age and the way, the way you look.
08:26I agree with that.
08:26So I think there are certain myths and certain things that you need to kind of do away with
08:30over, over a period of time.
08:32I mean, I could say great genes and all of that, but eventually you've got to preserve
08:37yourself.
08:38It's as simple as that.
08:39I mean, you've done a darn good job.
08:40You know, because I was just thinking this morning and I was, you know, I'm a political
08:43reporter.
08:44So I'm thinking who, who, who.
08:45And then there's Milin Soman and there's you.
08:47Milin Soman at 60 is running marathons barefoot.
08:50And he looks like a dream.
08:52Like a dream.
08:52And he does.
08:53But again, see, I mean, from whatever I know of him and I've known him long enough, it's
08:57all, it's just discipline.
08:59It's certain amount of discipline, certain amount of consistency.
09:02It's very easy to just let go and say, you know, I've done it.
09:06It's getting up and doing the same thing every day.
09:08Routine.
09:08People hate routine.
09:09But let me tell you, routine is your saving grace.
09:12Let me tell you, it will actually save you from a lot of, a lot that goes on in life.
09:16So showing up is pretty much, pretty much it and have a routine.
09:20There's nothing wrong.
09:20People get fed up about a routine.
09:22They get, you know, tired or, you know, it's like, oh God, routine.
09:26I can't do it.
09:27Just do it.
09:28Let me tell you, it may sound monotonous.
09:31It may sound routine, but just get that routine in your life.
09:34And it means waking up at a certain hour, eating at a certain time, working out, stepping
09:41out, sleeping.
09:42I think routine is very important.
09:44What's Malaika Roura's routine?
09:45Oh, pretty much how I kind of said just now, I wake up at the, mostly at the same time.
09:53What's the time?
09:55It's probably around 7, 7.30.
09:57That's when I, every single day.
09:59I am, I, I kind of, I love doing my morning, you know, affirmations and my rituals, my manifestations.
10:07I love doing that.
10:08And there are certain rituals that I've been doing for like forever.
10:10So it's from physical to holistic to mental.
10:12Yes.
10:12So it's a little bit of wellness and I feel adding a little bit of wellness in my life
10:15has really enriched my life.
10:17It really has.
10:18Because I didn't think like this when I was 20, in my 20s or 30s.
10:22But back then I was like just running around and, and, you know, getting work done.
10:27Did you manifest the restaurant?
10:29I probably did.
10:30I really did.
10:30The book?
10:31I did.
10:31You did?
10:32I did.
10:32So you do believe in the power of manifestation.
10:34I do.
10:34I really do believe in it.
10:35I do this every single day.
10:36So you visualize what you, how you see it?
10:38Yes.
10:39I really do.
10:39It's as crazy as it may sound or maybe, I don't know, whatever, but I kind of visualize,
10:45I manifest, I have affirmations every single day of my life.
10:49And what do you do?
10:50Because I think everyone wants to know what is it that you do?
10:53Like, are there some seeds that you eat in the morning?
10:55Is there a particular mix that you go back to every morning?
10:58Seed cycling is something new.
10:59I do that.
11:00Seed cycling is great.
11:01And women our age, we need it.
11:02I mean, if you're either peri, either you talk about peri-
11:05Menopause or if you're menopause or whatever, it's very important because it actually really
11:09helps with your hormones.
11:11It really balances it.
11:12I do that.
11:13I didn't know of it till I, I learned about it.
11:16And then I figured that it really does help me because I didn't know I was doing it all
11:19wrong.
11:20I was just taking like a handful of seeds and just eating.
11:22And that's what we're doing every day.
11:23Which really doesn't help.
11:24It really doesn't help, you know, throw in a bit of pumpkin seeds.
11:28So I've kind of mentioned that as well.
11:30It's all there.
11:30It's all there in the book, you know, when to eat what certain, you know, seeds are better
11:35first half of the day, second half better in the second half of the day.
11:39Certain seeds work better depending on your, on your monthly menstrual cycles.
11:43All of that, you know, makes a huge difference.
11:46I've been following all of that little rituals, whether it's hair, skin, whether it's just
11:50gut cleanse.
11:51I've been doing all of that.
11:53And a lot of women, people ask me, I mean, I'm 50.
11:56I mean, obviously everybody's like, you know, aren't you, you know, you know, perimenopause,
12:02aren't you?
12:02I'm like, I actually don't even feel any of it because I think it's just how I've lived
12:07my life.
12:07It's definitely part of my, of my, of our DNA and we have to live with it.
12:12Whether it's hot flashes or whether it's feeling, you know, feeling bloated or not being able
12:17to sleep or whether you're fatigued or all of these things.
12:21Yeah.
12:21Your hair thins out.
12:22Your hair thins out.
12:23It's none of that with you.
12:24So let me tell you that it's all part and parcel of life.
12:29We don't see it.
12:29But we don't see it.
12:30We see Malaika Arora, who's this black swan in a sea of 50 year olds who are talking about
12:36what's the best magnesium supplement to take.
12:39Who are speaking of why we can't sleep at night because it's either we're menopausal.
12:43Or your perimonopausal or you're, you know, in your early forties and you're reaching
12:49there and they look at you and they actually see you as this black swan that I don't think
12:53it's happening to them.
12:54You make it sound like I'm living in like an oxygen chamber and I've just preserved myself.
13:00It's, you know, you look, you, you at least project the picture of just being ageless,
13:04timeless, however one sees it.
13:06So for a lot of women, Malaika, when they look at you and especially older women will
13:10look at you, like I said, like a black swan moment, I don't think she's going through
13:16any of what we are going through.
13:17That's a very, that's a contrary way of looking at things.
13:20Honestly, I mean, I think I go through all my beats, like probably a woman at your age
13:25or any of the women around us, I go through all those beats.
13:28But like I said, I follow and I live life a certain, certain way.
13:32So whether it means I show every day, whether it's waking up, going to the gym, doing my rituals
13:38in the morning, starting my morning with that warm water and lemon, or, you know, some
13:42of the seeds that I've pre-soaked at night, or whether it is a shot of ginger, you know,
13:47I do this every single day.
13:49I don't, I don't miss, I don't pretend.
13:54I make it part of my, part and parcel of my daily, daily routine.
13:57As much as it may sound very like, oh God, abhi kiske paas time hai, korn karne wala hai.
14:03Kya matlab ek ghanda thodi farak padne wala hai.
14:05Just remove a little bit of time and you can actually make a few changes and you actually
14:09see it in the long run, it actually helps.
14:12You're just saying I'm in my early forties now.
14:15And you know, when I, you know, if you start then, that's, trust me, I, and honestly,
14:19I think I kind of understood all of this was when my, but not many 50 year old women who
14:23are doing this look like you, Malaika, it is, it's maybe it's just a blessing, but a
14:28lot of them don't know the way, you know, that's a great plug.
14:32Like we don't want to make that plug, but you've got to, you've got to do it because
14:35they don't, they don't.
14:37And so, no, I just want to know, does, okay, do you, are there moments of vulnerability?
14:42Does Malaika Rora think that, you know, my skin, I've got that wrinkle, my hair is thinning,
14:47perimenopause, I'm bloating, you know, it's the hormones are coming.
14:52Let me tell you all of the above.
14:54I'm no different.
14:55I am absolutely no different.
14:57I went through this phase where I felt like my hair was thinning.
15:00I just felt like I'm, you know, I had such, and then I said, listen, I have to do something
15:04about it.
15:05That's when I started reading up.
15:07I started, you know, whether it was rosemary, I mean, it's not like at a certain age, you
15:10can suddenly start sprouting, right?
15:12It's not going to happen, but you have to start making a few changes and you'll actually
15:16see a lot of it has got to do with gut health, eating right.
15:20And suddenly I realized that there are certain food types that were not agreeing with me.
15:24So I kind of started eliminating that, which is, you know, things like whether it was lactose
15:28or gluten, I didn't care, I was eating all of it.
15:31I realized that you're very disciplined.
15:33But I am disciplined.
15:33I figured that these things don't work.
15:35And that's the only reason why I was having breakouts.
15:38My hair was thinning.
15:39I was feeling sluggish.
15:41Which I just tweaked a few things, just a few things in my natural organic.
15:46Yes.
15:46Tell us about the supplements.
15:47What supplements are you on?
15:48I think women our age need like a whole lot of supplements, whether it's calcium, whether
15:52it's iron, and I'm highly iron deficient.
15:55Let me tell you that.
15:56Okay.
15:56Whether it's magnesium, whether it's folic acid, I think you need all of this, but it's how
16:00you take it, what time of the day, how much you actually need.
16:03But in the world of, like I said, Manjaro, you have Ozempic.
16:06Like Berberine is a new supplement, they say, which is supposed to be age-defying.
16:11Are you on it?
16:12No.
16:12No, no Berberine.
16:14No.
16:14But I've read about it.
16:16I've read about Berberine and I've read that it's really taken in the right dosage and
16:20depending on how you actually administer and have it, it actually really helps beautifully.
16:25But again, when it comes to things aiding weight loss, I think that's a very personal
16:31journey.
16:31No, I agree.
16:32It's a very personal journey.
16:33I'm nobody just sitting down.
16:34Whatever floats your boat.
16:34Whatever floats your boat.
16:36I'm no one to sit around you and say, oh, how can you take this?
16:38Do you know that?
16:39As long as you know what you're doing, do a little bit of R&D, know what the side effects
16:44are.
16:44I mean, if somebody feels that, you know what, by taking Ozempic or taking Manjaro, it has
16:48actually given them a little bit of kickstart, you know, to a certain journey, then so be
16:53it.
16:53I agree 100% whatever works for you.
16:54Whatever works.
16:54I'm nobody to tell you that.
16:56I will tell you things that have worked for me, that I swear by and I feel it's the right
17:03way to actually have that conversation and tell them, you know, try this out.
17:07It may and nothing is going to happen overnight.
17:09You and me both know that.
17:11Yeah.
17:11But maybe.
17:11I think it's discipline.
17:13I've realized one thing that I take off from this conversation is astute discipline.
17:17Absolutely.
17:17And you've got to do it over and over and over again.
17:20And maybe you'll do 20% of what she looks like.
17:21My son tells me, he's like, mom, it's okay.
17:23Sleep in late today.
17:24Just, you know, I'm like, no, I have to be, you know, I have to wake up and get that hour.
17:30How much time in a day do you invest in just health?
17:34Because a lot of women say we just don't have that kind of time.
17:36I don't believe that.
17:37You know, all these celebrities have the, you know, have where somebody is cutting out
17:41their meals, giving them their pills.
17:44I mean, I, I mean, I have, yes, of course we come from a certain, but okay, fine.
17:48And I've got, we've got help at home, we've got so much happening, but then, I mean, it
17:51doesn't just run on its own, right?
17:53I have to be, your whole day is not engineered about how Malaika looks.
17:56Not at all, please.
17:57That would sound like the most narcissistic thing.
18:00Anybody could say that I'm going to engineer my entire day like that.
18:03I find my time in the morning.
18:05That's probably why I wake up an hour early.
18:07So you do it in the morning.
18:08I do most of it in the morning.
18:09I eat healthy through the day.
18:11I'm somebody who believes in eating home cooked food.
18:14Like even I'll carry whatever it may be.
18:16It could be leftover food.
18:18When I wake up in the morning and there's no time, I'm like, just pack whatever left.
18:22But as long as it's, it's clean, healthy, homemade food is something that I swear by.
18:26I carry my water from home.
18:29I try avoiding, you know, drinking water from outside.
18:32So I do all of that.
18:33I think these are little things which everybody can do.
18:35You don't need a battalion to run after you for any of that.
18:38All right.
18:38So it's not that.
18:39Okay.
18:39No, that's good.
18:39Because a lot of people think that they have too much help, you know, because that's their
18:42business.
18:43I mean, unfortunately, they are their business.
18:44See, like I said, there's a certain part that comes from privilege, right?
18:47Where you, you, whatever, you have a certain, you have people who, you know, who help you
18:51out, who work with you, who manage a certain, you know, a certain lifestyle.
18:55But they're not going to come and physically feel me.
18:59No, no, fair.
18:59I go into the kitchen.
19:00I'm very particular.
19:01This is the one.
19:01This is the one.
19:02This is the one.
19:02This is the one.
19:02This is the one.
19:02This is the one.
19:02This is the one.
19:02This is the one.
19:03This is the one.
19:03But that's it.
19:03So there's only a small part of the day and you do everything else with it.
19:06Through the day I'm working.
19:07I mean, whether it's at a shoot or whether it's at my restaurant, whether I'm running,
19:10catching a flight, whether I'm spending time with my family, it's sometimes 24 hours is
19:16not enough.
19:17It's just not enough.
19:17You know, before we move on from this, I'm going to ask you one.
19:19So because you've tried and tested it and clearly it's working for you.
19:22What are the usual beauty hacks, health hacks that are not worth it?
19:27And what, like if you had to give advice and what are actually worth it?
19:31See, I am somebody, go the cosmetic way.
19:34If you feel that's what works for you, please go for it.
19:37The Botox, the fitness.
19:38Whatever.
19:39There's nobody telling you not to.
19:41I also feel there are loads of things that you can actually get out of your kitchen.
19:45You know, literally like you say, you know, age old.
19:48What's the most overrated thing to do?
19:49Most overrated?
19:51I mean, you don't need to do it.
19:52You don't need to do it.
19:53But you don't need to do it.
19:54I would say the most overrated would be people say, you know, this whole thing of starving
20:02and eating these intermittent fasting.
20:05No, I swear by intermittent.
20:06That's where I swear by it actually helps your hormones.
20:09It really helps balance your hormones.
20:10How many hours do you intermittent?
20:11I do it like 18, 16 to 18 hours.
20:14I do that.
20:15Okay.
20:15But I don't do it every day.
20:17I do it twice a week.
20:19Twice, depend, you know.
20:20Okay, that's your fault.
20:20So that's twice a week for sure.
20:22I do that.
20:23I feel people who, you know, like are on OMAD one meal a day.
20:27I think these are things that are just not good for you.
20:31They will not.
20:32They may work temporarily, but you're going to have long term, you know.
20:35What's that one ingredient in the kitchen?
20:36If you had to pick one.
20:38Ginger and turmeric.
20:40Ginger and turmeric.
20:41I'm obsessed with both.
20:42And they work.
20:43And they work like magic.
20:44They really work like magic.
20:46Start your day with warm water and ginger with maybe a little fresh haldi in it.
20:51It literally does.
20:52And little seeds, like whether it is coriander seeds, methi seeds or sorf, you know, these things.
20:58Believe it or not, things like long tea.
21:01You know, these are things that are in the house.
21:04You don't need to go and spend.
21:05You use this in your daily cooking.
21:07Just have that.
21:07Just boil a few of them at night.
21:10Sip that at night.
21:10And then you see the sleep that you get.
21:12I mean, you probably don't even need that.
21:14That melatonin.
21:15Add a dose of melatonin, dose of melatonin or magnesium.
21:18You don't even need that.
21:19Have that.
21:19It just calms your body.
21:21Which is what?
21:21Which is clove.
21:23Clove tea.
21:24Just take three, four at night.
21:26And that's that.
21:26Just put it into water.
21:28Boil it.
21:28It'll change.
21:29The color changes.
21:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:30Just strain it.
21:31And then drink that.
21:32Just drink that.
21:33You can add a little bit of lemon to it.
21:35And drink that.
21:36It gives you beautiful sleep.
21:38It actually helps your body, you know, unwind.
21:41You can actually feel your body just ease.
21:43You see her amazing sleep.
21:45You get post that.
21:45So, yeah.
21:46These are small things you can do at home.
21:48Malak, I was reading up a bit about you.
21:49And for somebody who came in from what you described as a mad stick house to where you're sitting today.
21:54And with all that you have done.
21:56And there's a fair bit.
21:59If you look back, what's the journey been like?
22:01Was it really a mad stick apartment that you came from?
22:04And I saw that stand up where you actually, you know, were working in, you know, traveling through local, you know, trains and all of that was a part of your daily routine.
22:13Yeah, yeah.
22:14And it really was a tiny mad stick.
22:16Yes.
22:16I mean, I remember we didn't even have a permanent address.
22:20We would just keep moving homes because we were living on rental, you know.
22:24I mean, whatever.
22:25Couldn't really.
22:25Things were tough.
22:26Of course it was.
22:27I mean, I think that's probably why I appreciate everything that I have in life at this moment because I've been through that entire grind.
22:35A lot of people say that.
22:36So you understand the hustle there.
22:37Yes, the hustle.
22:37And I will hustle till my dying day.
22:39I know that.
22:40And I mean, a lot of my people say, oh, you're very frugal.
22:42I'm not frugal.
22:43I'm very particular.
22:44I'm very conscious of the fact that I've seen those hardships.
22:48It's been, it was really, really, really tough.
22:50And then you kind of make things happen, make things work.
22:54Seized every opportunity.
22:55I was so hungry for every opportunity.
22:56I never said, like, whether, like, I mean, I'm like, why are you, you know, burning yourself to the ground?
23:02I'm like, but if I'm not going to do it, no one's going to do it for me.
23:04I mean, if it means I have to take a 6 a.m. flight, land, go to work, get barely three hours of sleep, wake up again in the morning, catch another flight, drive for four hours, I'm going to do it.
23:15It may, I'm going to do it because I know I need that hustle.
23:19I know I need to live a certain way.
23:23I know I need to take care of my kids.
23:24I'm going to go through that hustle.
23:25I don't care.
23:26Like, someone around probably would say, you don't need to do it.
23:28You've been working 30 for 30 years.
23:31I'm like, so what?
23:32I'm still going to, I still feel, I think in my head, I still live like that.
23:37I still feel the fact that I still need to do that hustle.
23:39And every time my mom would be like, take it easy.
23:42It's okay.
23:43Take a few days off.
23:44I'm like, yeah, I will take a few days off when it's necessary.
23:47But right now, I love the hustle.
23:49And I'm not going to give that up.
23:51No, I think, you know, a past is pretty much your present because I was reading somewhere as well that, you know, not somewhere as well.
23:57I used to be a really fat kid.
23:58And so, I'll only buy clothes which are, you know, an extra large or a large, even though I'm a small now.
24:04So, it's in your head, it's embedded, it's in your DNA, no matter how much progress you make in life.
24:11But I also feel these are good reminders as well.
24:14True, I agree.
24:15Don't take things for granted.
24:16For example, I'm just saying, like even something like weight loss.
24:20You've achieved so much to be a certain way, but you also somewhere feel you kind of let go and you're going to go back to, you know, to what you were.
24:28So, I think it's very important to be, you know, to stay on top of your game, to feel grounded.
24:33Because, you know, even when you speak of, like I said, I was going through that stand-up where you practically roasted yourself.
24:41I had a blast doing it.
24:42Yeah, and very self-deprecative, which very few people have.
24:46Their self-deprecative humor, they can make fun of themselves and have a laugh.
24:49You know, and it's there where you talk about, you know, the duck walk, you talk about the paps.
24:54Does it bother you though?
24:55Do they come on their own every time you're working out and you're leaving and there is this one shot of Malaika just walking, you know,
25:02away from the cameras.
25:04I mean, I guess now that's become part and parcel or whatever.
25:07So, they wait for you every other day.
25:09Well, I mean, there is a lot of things that go on.
25:12I mean, you know, I'm not going to put so much of emphasis on that.
25:16I mean, it's an entire culture that's probably taken over, which probably wasn't there back when I started work.
25:22I mean, we didn't have any of this.
25:23Along the way, this entire culture became part and parcel of daily life.
25:29I mean, whether, forget me, whether it is kids or whether it is, you know, it's everywhere, whether you're, you know, little big kids aren't spared, you know.
25:37So, I mean, who the hell am I?
25:38I mean, sometimes I find that a little daunting.
25:41I'm like, you know, just let the kids be.
25:43They're really tiny.
25:43You don't need to go and put a, you know, camera in their face.
25:46At least we are far more equipped to handle a certain situation.
25:50A child is just like, what the hell is going on?
25:53So, yeah.
25:54So, like I said, I mean, eventually they became memes.
25:57They became, you know, talk points.
25:58I was like, you know, why not, you know, sit and laugh at it myself?
26:02I think that's the best way to go about it as opposed to sit down and wonder why the hell are people.
26:07But you don't walk like a duck.
26:08Why would you?
26:09And even if I do, I really don't care.
26:11I really don't care.
26:12No, you don't.
26:12Maybe I do have a really weird walk, but you know what?
26:15So be it.
26:16But you don't have a weird walk.
26:17But I guess somewhere it was, everybody was like, oh my God, she, you know, she walks a certain way.
26:23Like I said, I just made a joke about everything.
26:26It felt great.
26:27I was like, you know what?
26:28You want to laugh about it?
26:29Let me laugh with you.
26:30You know, we'll both laugh together and have a good laugh about it.
26:33You know, it's very inspiring for a lot of women because the way you've conducted your life, Malaika, and there's something which is, you know, the bravery of it, it's quite courage.
26:44You know, I put it as quiet courage because to leave a marriage that young, to go in for a divorce, to live your life unapologetically, women go through their lives living in unhappy marriages.
26:54You know, they go through the motions.
26:55Absolutely.
26:56And it's 99%.
26:58And privilege is an equalizer.
27:00You know, it's not that you're privileged, you're not going to do it.
27:02Yes.
27:02You know, everyone does it.
27:03It takes being very, very brave as a woman to make decisions in your life and be the driver of your life.
27:09Absolutely.
27:09And to wear it on your sleeve unapologetically.
27:11Do you, you know, do you accept that compliment in your life?
27:14I feel very happy when somebody says that.
27:17I really do because I feel.
27:19Because it's enormous to do it.
27:21And in the country that we live in.
27:23Yes, I faced a lot.
27:24Which sits and judges you at every step.
27:26I faced loads of judgment.
27:27I faced loads of backlash.
27:29I faced, and not just from public.
27:31I mean, that's even not the, I'm saying even closer home.
27:35Like, you know, friends and family also, they were like, you know, I was questioned about all my, those choices at that point.
27:41But I'm just so happy that I stuck by, you know, my choices.
27:46And I have no regrets.
27:48I stick by all my choices.
27:49To go into the unknown, Malaika.
27:51Very few women have, like I said, it's being, there's this brave quality, which it's very rare.
27:57It's called quiet courage, where you do things without, you know, because courage and being brave are usually attached to an event.
28:05Absolutely.
28:05You know, that, you know, he was brave then or she was brave then.
28:07To live your life like that is, because most, 90% don't do it.
28:12Especially being women in our country, we do not do it.
28:15Absolutely.
28:15We are that very, literally a very minuscule percentage that actually takes that.
28:20And, I mean, I, I didn't know.
28:23I really didn't know what was in store for me.
28:24I didn't know what lies ahead.
28:26I said, you know what, at this point, I need to take this, this, make this move in my life.
28:33Because I felt it was important for, for me to, to be happy.
28:37And nobody understands that how can you put your happiness first?
28:40It's like the most.
28:41And you didn't know you were going to be happy.
28:42It was a move you need to make.
28:43I needed to.
28:44I said, I need to do that just so that I know that I, you know, I can actually be happy or be happy on my own.
28:50And I would, you know what, I'm, I was like, I'm fine.
28:52I'm good.
28:52I will take on whatever.
28:54I'm okay being on my own.
28:56At the most, what?
28:57I won't have work for a bit.
28:58At the most, people will say a certain something.
29:01I was, I was like, I'm fine.
29:02I'm okay.
29:03I'll take it on.
29:04It's all right.
29:04And people have certain judgment.
29:06You know, I'm not going to ask you about your personal life.
29:07It's none of my business.
29:08But, you know, people will sit and pass judgment on your relationships, on how you conduct yourself, the clothes that you wear, you know, what you say, how you dance.
29:18It's, yeah, recently there has been.
29:20It is nonstop.
29:21I mean, there's judgment all the time.
29:22Not the first time you've had this question being asked.
29:24Every single time.
29:25But I want to ask you, would these questions be asked of a man who was your age, who was maybe dating a younger?
29:30Obviously not.
29:31I think I've said this on a couple of platforms.
29:34Not at all.
29:35They're not, I mean, that, unfortunately, those questions are never asked.
29:39Those eyebrows are never, never raised.
29:41Listen, so I guess it's always, at some level, it's always, whether it's applauded or whether it's just taken for granted or it's just understood that, listen, we live in a, in a, in a very sexist, patriarchal society.
29:57So that's how it is.
29:59So, no, I mean, I don't, there is never any, there's never any judgment when it comes to certain aspects when it comes to men.
30:05No, and unfortunately, women have to bear the brunt of it and face it on a daily level.
30:10And if there's a woman who kind of moves away from that, obviously, which is the typical, the cookie cutter, the cookie cutter that you say, if you move away from that, then obviously, then she is not your ideal woman.
30:23And then what the hell has she done?
30:24Right.
30:24Immediately, there are, there are things that are, there are said or fingers that are, that are pointed.
30:29But I guess if you actually move away from that and actually make a life and actually can set by example, then I think it's, you're doing something right.
30:38Malika, was there a moment of epiphany that, okay, I'm not going to carry a rat's ass.
30:41Like people say what they want.
30:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
30:43You remember that moment.
30:44Yeah, yeah.
30:44Has there been, you remember that moment?
30:46Yes, I actually do.
30:47Which is?
30:47I actually do remember when I said, you know what, I remember that very, very clearly because.
30:51It came at the back of something?
30:53There was a lot of, there was a lot of chatter.
30:55There was a lot of, whether it is, you know, like you said, whether it is on my personal life, how I, you know, how I dress or what I do, my choices.
31:02There was a lot of chatter at some point.
31:06And I feel these are things that will always be there.
31:08It's how you handle it.
31:10It's how you go about life.
31:11And eventually, let your work speak for yourself.
31:14Let your, let your accolades speak for yourself.
31:17So I think I've always let, eventually I realized that.
31:20And there was that time where I said, you know what, I mean, I may not be the one to sit and, you know, show my middle finger.
31:26I'm not going to be doing any of that.
31:27But I remember very, very clearly there was that one night where I said, you know what, I don't care.
31:33I really care like a rat's ass about any of these situations or what people say or how they perceive me or what they think or what might be out there.
31:43At the end of the day, this is my life.
31:45I pay my own bills.
31:46I, I run my own kitchen.
31:48I run my home.
31:49I take care of my family.
31:51I take care of, I give my son a fantastic life.
31:54I really don't owe anybody an explanation at all.
31:58But there was a time that you would maybe have a ball about it and it would impact you.
32:02Does it still impact you sometimes though?
32:04No.
32:04No, not at all.
32:06No.
32:06Nothing.
32:07I think there was certain aspects or chapters or, or, or walls.
32:11I've just like literally, and I'm not, I'm not even making this up.
32:15I'm not trying to sound a certain way or trying to be cool.
32:18No, there are certain aspects that I've just completely, you know, eradicated from my life.
32:24I'm like, I can't live in that, in that toxic space.
32:26I'm human.
32:28Certain things that are said or certain things that are.
32:30About how you dress.
32:30About your relationships.
32:31Or whatever.
32:31You read it.
32:32Yes.
32:33Those are things that may trigger you, may bring about a certain emotion.
32:36I may have a, I may have a, probably a cry about it, but that's about it.
32:41And I move on.
32:42Do you have best friends?
32:43Of course I do.
32:44And I, and I value them.
32:45Tell me something.
32:46No, no.
32:46This I will ask.
32:47Is it okay to have a glass of wine once in a while?
32:49Of course it is.
32:51Of course it is.
32:52In fact, it is highly recommended.
32:53I don't drink.
32:54No, no.
32:54There are this multiple.
32:55You don't drink.
32:56I don't drink wine.
32:56Then you look like this.
32:58I'm not a wine drinker.
32:58I don't really do this.
33:00I enjoy a glass of tequila every, every once in a while.
33:03I'm not a drinker per se.
33:05Okay.
33:06So silently I'm noting down the alcohol.
33:08I don't, yeah.
33:09So I have to say, I don't smoke.
33:10I'm not a drinker.
33:11I'm an occasional drinker.
33:12And I literally break it down to those few special occasions in the year.
33:17Whether it's a birthday or a new year or Christmas or something.
33:20Where I actually, otherwise I'm not.
33:22I am completely anti-smoking.
33:25I do not like it.
33:26I don't encourage it.
33:27Nothing.
33:28So, so these are a few things that I'm just very averse to.
33:32But yes, you like a glass of wine.
33:35Please have a glass of wine every day.
33:37Have three glasses of wine.
33:38I don't know, then the aim is to look 20% of what you're looking at your age.
33:42In moderation.
33:43I'm telling you, your doctor will tell you the same thing.
33:46The doctor would say the same thing, you know.
33:48Kick that butt.
33:49Stay away from that.
33:50But if you have to have something, then have a glass of, have a glass of wine.
33:54I think a small tequila is fantastic.
33:57It actually is, it's actually very good.
34:00You trust me when I see it.
34:01You know, I don't have time.
34:02I have the last five minutes.
34:02So I'm going to ask you, do you still believe in love?
34:04Do you think it's possible?
34:05Because you're a certain age, or do you think, or rather not believe in love?
34:08What has age got to do?
34:09I'll tell you why.
34:10Are age and love correlated?
34:12I don't care.
34:13I'll tell you what.
34:14No, no, no, no.
34:14I'm coming to the question that I was asking you.
34:16No, they are not.
34:17But because in the realms of how it's looked at.
34:20Perceived as.
34:20Perceived as.
34:21Is, why would you marry after a point of time?
34:24It's fine, you know, you can have relationships.
34:25But do you believe in marriage?
34:26That's the question.
34:27Of course I do.
34:29But that doesn't mean it's meant for me.
34:31It's not meant for you.
34:32I don't, I mean, I don't.
34:33I mean, if it has to happen, great.
34:34I'm not seeking it.
34:36I'm not saying that, oh, I need to.
34:38I'm not, I'm very content.
34:40I've done the marriage thing.
34:42I've moved beyond.
34:44I've, I've done relationships.
34:47You're not jaded though.
34:48Not at all.
34:49That's the last thing.
34:49I'm certainly not jaded.
34:51The day you think like that, the day you feel that you're jaded, then you know what?
34:55Then it's time for you to seriously introspect.
34:58I still feel like I love life.
35:01I love the idea of love.
35:02I love being loved.
35:04I love, I love sharing love.
35:07I love being in a situation where I know I can nurture something beautiful.
35:10So I'm totally, totally open to it.
35:13But at the same time, I'm not seeking it.
35:15If it happens, if it comes knocking at my, at my door, then I will.
35:19Last two questions.
35:20I'll be happy.
35:20You're raising a young boy and, you know, also in industry, which is replete with patriarchy.
35:28How are you doing it differently?
35:29Especially what you faced yourself?
35:35I mean, well, see, I think we are co-parenting.
35:40I think that's part of bringing up my son.
35:44And he has understood the fact that, actually, he's figured it out that I think my parents are happier, you know, apart.
35:52And they've actually made a life despite whatever has transpired.
35:56And we co-parent, we have a, we have a lot of things where we understand that it has to be done a certain way because of.
36:03But does he treat women differently because of the way you have brought him up?
36:08In what way?
36:10In a nicer way.
36:11For him?
36:11Yeah.
36:12For how he looks at women.
36:13I think so too.
36:14Yeah.
36:14I think his whole.
36:15Because he's seen you go through this whole.
36:16He has seen that.
36:17Yeah.
36:17He understands what it is.
36:19He is so much more open.
36:23He's so much more understanding.
36:25He's so much more giving.
36:27He's a lot more open about situations.
36:30I don't think he's judgy in any way.
36:34And he is.
36:34In fact, the more I see him, you know, growing up, the more I understand that he's very, very understanding when it comes to women's feelings.
36:41Are they, you know, are they fine?
36:43Are they not fine?
36:45Why?
36:45You know, I mean, he said that very recently.
36:47He says, a lot of my friends, girls, he said, they say, and they're all so young.
36:50They're like 22, 23, that age group.
36:52And they're like, oh, you know, we don't mind settling down and getting married and stuff.
36:56And he was like, why?
36:57He says, you're so young.
36:59But you got married, yeah.
37:00That's what.
37:00And if you have to ask me, if you have to ask me what I tell my, my 23 year old self, that's probably the one thing I would say.
37:06Don't do.
37:07Don't do that.
37:08Don't.
37:08Please don't make that mistake of getting married so young.
37:11I mean, beautiful things have happened.
37:12The best thing is that I had my, my kid early.
37:15But I feel live life a little, just experience life a little.
37:19Then take that call of, you know, of settling down, which, you know, which means whether it is financially, emotionally, you know, just be a little more, more independent in these aspects before you can actually settle down.
37:30Malaika, if you had to give yourself advice to a 23 year old Malaika Arora, what would you tell her today?
37:36One would definitely be.
37:37Your younger self.
37:38My young self would be, and I've said this before as well, is one is it's okay to say no.
37:45Back then it was very difficult.
37:46I would never, you know, you'd be petrified to say no.
37:50So to tell my, my young, my younger self, it's okay to say, in any situation, in any situation, whether it was work, whether it was, you know, in a situation where it required or whether it was in a relationship or whether it was going out, dating, whatever it may be.
38:06It's okay to say no, because you feel so conscious about the fact if I say no or whatever, will, will I be hurting somebody's feelings or is it the job, you know, will I get the job or will I be considered difficult?
38:20It's okay to say no.
38:21And I've realized that much later.
38:23And I would definitely tell my younger self, it's, please don't rush into, into, you know, marriage at that point.
38:30I would have definitely, I would definitely say that.
38:32I'm like, live your life, be independent, emotionally, physically, financially, be independent, understand yourself before you can actually, you know, go down that path and, and take that plunge.
38:44Get married, fall in love, fall in love many times, but just take, take your time.
38:49You know, I was going to ask you to, what's the advice that you have for women, you know, but there's so much that you've said and then take away a bit from all that, you know, that we've just spoken through.
38:59But, okay, so how are you looking at 2026?
39:03What are you manifesting?
39:04Oh my God.
39:04What is it?
39:05You know, what's a second part to that book?
39:09Well, I would definitely like to write another book.
39:12I would definitely like to add to that because I think there are so many things that we can't put there, only 260 pages and not everything can be there.
39:20So I think there's a lot more that I would like to share.
39:23So yes, I would definitely like to do that.
39:25I'm enjoying the, my entire entrepreneurial journey.
39:28I'm loving it, expanding and, and collaborating with people.
39:33So those are things.
39:34Definitely the entire FNB space that has just, that is another restaurant.
39:39Yes, definitely.
39:41Not just a couple of them.
39:42A couple of them.
39:43Because I think there are different kinds of cuisines and different kinds of experiences that I would like to, to create and let people enjoy.
39:50So that is something I'm.
39:51And the personal front?
39:53Personal front, I think it's, let's just keep that dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, to be continued.
40:00Well, on that note.
40:02But thank you, Malaika.
40:03And we, and more power.
40:05And I think women should.
40:06You've been spunky.
40:07You're a cracker.
40:08And it's just, it's amazing to have women like you.
40:11Because you inspire so many out there.
40:12Thank you so much.
40:13And I really feel women should be, should have a voice.
40:17And it's very important for women to be, you know, to find that independence in whatever way.
40:21You know, freedom of thought, freedom of, of being financially independent.
40:26And I think it's very, very important at various levels for women to, you know, to have that.
40:30You know, and as important as that, Malaika, is for women who actually have agency, like you.
40:34Yeah.
40:35To be saying it for what it is.
40:36It is, I think.
40:37Because it's very empowering for somebody who's sitting somewhere down the line and wondering, should I A leave this marriage?
40:42Or is Burbreen a good idea?
40:45Whichever one you think.
40:46You know what?
40:47If you're having any of those thoughts, you know what?
40:49It's okay.
40:50Have those thoughts.
40:51See it through.
40:51You never know.
40:52You have one life.
40:53Take chances.
40:54You know, that's the only way you will, you will know what's in store for you.
40:57Well, thank you.
40:58And I wish you so much.
40:59I wish you a fabulous day ahead.
41:01And the book does well.
41:02Thank you so much.
41:02And have a fantastic New Year and a happy 2020.
41:06Thank you so much.
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