- 4 months ago
Category
đŸ˜¹
FunTranscript
00:00Rival of Brian and the Man
00:30We've finally done it. We've all got our Christmas tree all set up just in time for Santa Claus to deliver our presents underneath it. I'm going to write my letter to Santa right now. This is going to be the best Christmas ever. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:40We've all got our Christmas tree all set up just in time.
00:47Wow, he looks so hunky.
00:59Why? Hello there, sir.
01:03Hello there, young boy. My name is Austin Bucks, CEO of Onor Corporation.
01:07Hey, you were talking to Dad on the phone yesterday and gave us a discount and gift card. Wow, Grandma says you own everything.
01:13Well, not yet. And that's why I want to speak to your Grandma. And I'm here to see the owner of this store. What's your name?
01:18My Grandma is the store owner over there. My name is Jake Spank and Timer.
01:21Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What a silly ass last name it is.
01:26Oh, shut the hell up right now, you impolite son of a bitch. I don't go around saying how fucking ridiculous your last name is, now do I?
01:32Okay. I'm sorry about what I said and I won't do it ever again. I swear.
01:36That's fine. I'm alright.
01:37Anyway, where did you say your Grandma was?
01:39Right now, Grandma Elfenheimer is reading to the kids.
01:42I heard about that. Say, you wouldn't happen to have an extra elf costume I could wear?
01:46Oh, there are some in the clothes department, but you need to buy it first and there are changing rooms in the back.
01:50I'm not sure why you need it, though.
01:52Don't worry. You'll see. Thank you for letting me know and Merry Christmas.
01:57Now I wonder why Austin is coming here to the store and what he wants to see my Grandma for.
02:01Oh no, could it be possible that he wants her store to sell the cheap inflatable Christmas trees?
02:05Everyone who celebrates Christmas should know that's not the correct type.
02:08Either pine or plastic is the correct type that should be used.
02:10O.J., is that Austin Gow really super looking?
02:13Um, um, um, he seems okay.
02:15Well, I'd really love to get a Christmas present for him.
02:19And Rudolph was the happiest reindeer of all, as he finally had found friends to be with and was happy with his red and shiny nose.
02:25That was a wonderful story, Ms. Elfenheimer. Thank you so much for reading it to us.
02:29No problem, Kalu. I love making sure you and your brothers have a wonderful holiday.
02:33Excuse me, but did you Grandma spend your time there?
02:37Hey, I know you. You're Austin Bucks, the current CEO of Own All Corporation.
02:41But what are you doing here in one of my elf costumes? You paid for it, didn't you?
02:45Yes, I made sure that I did.
02:47The reason why I'm here is that I would like to conduct a holiday business deal concerning your store.
02:50I would like to purchase your store.
02:51Wait, what the? Why do you want me to sell my store to your Cityville company?
02:55You'd be selling to the biggest and the best.
02:57Do you know why my company controls every mall and sidewalk Santa?
02:59To make sure that Christmas is more efficient and less stressful for our people of Cityville?
03:03Not just that, but I am also currently trying to help build an empire also.
03:06I'm starting to get really suspicious of the Dawson guy.
03:08I'm going to see what he's up to with Grandma.
03:10You go ahead and do that, Jake.
03:12You go ahead and do that, Jake.
03:14I'll make sure to check him out from right here.
03:17Your store sits on the perfect place to build the crown jewel of my empire.
03:21This promoted plant right here will be a way to help make sure that both of us will get a great amount of profit.
03:25Did he say profit?
03:26Why? This gives me an idea on what I'll tell Grandma.
03:33Um, what exactly are you planning to do with that thing you're presenting?
03:37A way to help make sure that everyone on Christmas can get their presents without any hassle.
03:40Gifts delivered on Christmas Eve.
03:42By our new sleigh mogile.
03:45What? What the?
03:46A mechanical sleigh mobile with mechanical reindeer and no Santa Claus delivering gifts?
03:50Santa could deliver presents to people better than that piece of shitty junk metal thing
03:53that could easily rust and vent might even do inside a shopping district at a mall.
03:57So, what do you think, miss?
03:59Do we have ourselves a deal?
04:00Um, um, um, um, could it just be possible if we think about this another time instead?
04:05Like maybe next year?
04:07Christmas time is near and I would like to spend time with my family without worries.
04:11Um, um, okay, if that's alright with you.
04:13I don't mean to interfere with your family celebrating.
04:15I'll see you again next year, if that is what you wish.
04:18That's okay.
04:19I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Austin, and I will see you again.
04:23All the same to you.
04:27What's this?
04:28That Austin guy dropped his business card on the floor.
04:34This has been the most interesting day today.
04:37In all my time at Own All Corporation, I've never encountered a person as unique as her.
04:40But I do hope her Christmas holiday goes well and I hope to meet her again next year.
04:44But, Michael, Jane, come back here.
04:47I will not have my holiday schedule interrupted.
04:49Um, Jake, I have a question to ask you.
04:52Jake, do you think I should sell the store?
04:54Are you kidding?
04:55I love this place.
04:56It's one of the best places to be in here around Christmas.
04:58And you're not only one of the best store owners, you're one of the best grandmas.
05:02Why, thank you so very much, Jake.
05:04That was very sweet of you.
05:06Just like a candy cane.
05:07Jake, grandma, let me tell you something in secret over there.
05:11As a hot-to-hot talk.
05:12Um, okay, Mel.
05:14Jake, let's go over there.
05:18Oh no, not that freaky-ass bitch cousin Mel again.
05:21She gives me the creeps and has scared all of us.
05:23You're right, may I do.
05:24Not if daddy will go near her, and he's never gone here when she's around.
05:27It would be a good idea to sell the store.
05:30And ma, if this store were mine, I'd sell it to make money and profit around the holidays.
05:34Just like that hot Austin got promised.
05:37No cousin Mel, there is no way in the name of Rankin and Bass I am selling this precious store.
05:41The reason why it's been around so long is not because of money,
05:44but because of the happiness and joy we've brought to people,
05:46especially around the holiday season of the year.
05:48Oh yeah.
05:49Now get out of here right now and stop spreading your negativity around here.
05:53Cousin Mel, this store will never be yours.
05:55Oh yeah.
05:55Oh grandma, you're the greatest grandma ever.
06:03And you are the best grandson ever, Jake.
06:11We'll see.
06:19Those gingerbread men cookies you baked look really sweet and delicious, Jake.
06:23I can't wait to try them out.
06:25Thank you so much, grandma.
06:27I think I'm getting to be a really great Christmas baker in this family.
06:30Well, I'll see how my baked Christmas goodie is.
06:33Ah, it's all ready to take to the community service center.
06:36Glad to hear.
06:36But, uh, grandma, is it the same Christmas goodie that you always bake around Christmas?
06:40I mean, I love you and all, grandma, but...
06:43Oh come on, Jake.
06:44You know you like it.
06:46Um, yup.
06:46You are right, grandma.
06:47I really love it.
06:49Well, it's now time for me to head over to deliver my Christmas treats.
06:52I'll be back in a while and just in time for Santa to visit us.
06:56But wait, I see it.
06:57There are two types of people who celebrate Christmas.
07:00People who like fruitcake.
07:01And people who are regular human beings.
07:03The holidays were upon us and things were going fine.
07:12Till the day I heard a doorbell and chill ran up his spine.
07:15I grabbed the wife and children as the postman wheeled it in.
07:18A yearly Christmas nightmare has just come back again.
07:22It was harder than a head above the bucky.
07:24Heavy of the sermon, a free for lucky.
07:25Once enough to get the whole state of Kentucky, a great big billy egg.
07:28It was denser than a grove of barnyard turkeys.
07:30Covered down a couple loads of old beef jerky.
07:32Drier than a trout, now the turkey.
07:34Grandma's killer fruitcake.
07:38Now I've had to swallow some marginal fare at our family feet.
07:42I even downed Aunt Dolly's possum pie just to keep the family peace.
07:45I went that we almost introduced, but said it tasted fine.
07:49But that lethal weapon that Grandma makes, is where I draw the line.
07:52It was harder than a head above the bucky.
07:54Heavy of the sermon, a free for lucky.
07:56Once enough to get the whole state of Kentucky, a great big billy egg.
07:59It was denser than a grove of barnyard turkeys.
08:01Covered down a trout, now the turkey.
08:05Grandma's killer fruitcake.
08:08It's early for a Christmas morning, a long night's out the way.
08:11This Grandma called, she wants to know how we like to go.
08:14Well, Grandma, I never, we couldn't.
08:16It was unbelievable, that's for sure.
08:18What's that you say?
08:19Oh no, Grandma, please don't send us more.
08:21It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky.
08:23Heavy of the sermon, a free for lucky.
08:25Once enough to get the whole state of Kentucky, a great big billy egg.
08:28It was denser than a grove of barnyard turkeys.
08:30Covered down a trout, now the turkey.
08:33Grandma's killer fruitcake.
08:34Uh, Grandma, where are you going?
08:46I'm going to the community services to bring my delicious Christmas fruitcakes.
08:50I hope the people there will enjoy them.
08:51No, Grandma.
08:52Wait, that's not a good idea.
08:54There's a snowstorm outside tonight.
08:55And besides, you've been drinking too much eggnog.
08:57Please, don't go.
09:00We're drinking, please.
09:02I'm sorry, but I have no choice but to go anyway.
09:05Besides, I left my medication at the store.
09:07What the?
09:18What is that in the sky?
09:20Grandma, look out.
09:22It's Santa Claus and his reindeer.
09:27Grandma, look out.
09:29It's Santa Claus and his reindeer.
09:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
10:06Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
10:10You can say there's no such thing as Santa
10:15But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
10:19Oh no, Grandma. I must tell Mom and Dad.
10:26Mom, Dad, Grandpa, everyone, come on. Something horrible just happened.
10:31What happened, Jake?
10:32Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
10:35Oh no!
10:35Wait, a reindeer ran her over? What happened exactly?
10:39Okay, Santa Claus was flying low like this, and Grandma was walking like this, and then Rudolph was here, then.
10:45No, honey, you must have had a bad dream.
10:47I think it's part of Jake once again suffering from that affliction known as...
10:50Don't you dare bring up that freaking crap again, cousin Mel.
10:53What are you talking about, Dad?
10:55Don't worry, Jake. It's nothing for you to worry about.
10:58Anyway, what are we doing? Let's go outside to see where she is.
11:01She was lying down right about here. Wait, what the... Where is Grandma?
11:10I don't know, Jake. She seems to have disappeared.
11:12Did it disappear?
11:13Don't be stressed out too much, Jake. I'll call the police to let them know about this and then we can still try to have a good Christmas.
11:19That's right, officer. Missing. Hit by Santa's sleigh.
11:24Oh, yes. We've been drinking eggnog.
11:26Okay, thanks for saying that. You'll be coming over to help us. Goodbye.
11:31Grandma was lying just right there. See? There's her eggnog she was drinking.
11:34And there's her fruitcake. Santa accidentally ran her over.
11:40You are saying old Chris Greenhill had something to do with this?
11:43Sorry, son. Impossible. Right here in the manual. There's no such thing as Santa Claus.
11:47Is to who?
11:48Oh, we got a code 1225. Santa Claus is real syndrome. One example of that is right in front of us. A family dispute.
11:54Shut the fuck up!
11:58Jake, did you just swear?
12:00Yeah, I just fucking swore. So fucking what? Santa does to exist, you miserable piles of reindeer shit.
12:05And I'm going to prove it once and for all. You saw it, didn't you, Grandpa?
12:09Don't listen to that kid.
12:10I'm sorry. Did you say something? I was too busy watching Grandma get hit by Santa's sleigh.
12:14Watch this side. Sleigh comes out of nowhere. Grandma takes a header into the snow bank.
12:18Sleigh vanishes, like the ghost of Christmas past.
12:21And that's what's known as an advanced case of Santa Claus' real syndrome.
12:25Shut the fuck up, cousin Mel. Stop smearing the shit that you made up to torture a chick everywhere, you gorm.
12:30Sleigh vanishes, bitch. No wonder why no one likes you.
12:34Come on, let's show these our messes.
12:41Wait for me, sir.
12:42And for me. God, is that kid a piece of work?
12:44Hold on. There's something up with that fruitcake down there. Let me see.
12:48Let me see, too. There appears to be some brownish cream on it.
12:52Um, it tastes like a chocolatey familiar. Wait, I remember this.
12:56May I take a picture of that fruitcake and keep it as evidence?
12:58Sure. Go ahead.
13:01Oh, my God. Look over there.
13:07What appears to be the impression of a person in the snow. Look there.
13:10But, how do we know it's Grandma?
13:11I think you two should be doing your job and searching for Grandma, not a real police officer should do.
13:25I'd like to know where Grandma is.
13:28Good point. We can work this at an angle later.
13:30Say anything about that crap one more time and I'll knock you into the snow again.
13:33Understand?
13:34Better get looking for the old board.
13:35What the fucking hell did you just say about Grandma, you pissy assholes?
13:41Huh. I wonder why I even bother with the police sometimes.
13:44If I instead called Magical Girls or Sentai Squadron, then maybe we wouldn't have this much asshole.
13:48I agree, Dad.
13:49Now we're all so proud of Grandpa.
13:56He's been taking this so well.
13:59See him in there watching football.
14:01Drinking beer and playing hard with Cousin Mel.
14:03Well, it's time for me to go get my milk to drink with my cookies.
14:31Wait, what do these milk cartons say?
14:32Oh no, I know who that woman is.
14:35I must return back to the North Pole immediately.
Comments