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  • 3 weeks ago
A struggling codependent with a hero complex bails his ex-girlfriend out of a DUI charge and attempts to rescue her from | dG1falpvSWRVbUgxVjg
Transcript
00:00I hate to be annoying and ask this, uh, but can I borrow ten grand?
00:05Fuck off.
00:07Jordan Lipschitz?
00:09Lipkiss.
00:10What is this for?
00:11You think I'm just gonna hand over ten grand like some sort of schmuck?
00:15Yes.
00:15Gabrielle got a DUI.
00:17So that's for Gabrielle to work out.
00:21Wait, am I enabling you?
00:24If you're not gonna help me, I'll just get ready for jail.
00:26If you want my money, you're gonna have to drink all of this.
00:30You're gonna drink yourself sober?
00:32Did you say drinks herself sober?
00:36I will die if I drink all of this.
00:37Yeah, that's kind of the point.
00:39Then drink with me.
00:40I don't need to get drunk.
00:41I can act terribly sober.
00:42Bon voyage.
00:43One Shirley Temple and I'm anybody's.
00:45You need to stop drinking.
00:47You need to be repulsed by it.
00:48The thought of it should make you sick.
00:50It should make you projectile vomit like a fucking Stedman painting.
00:54Whoa, two drinks, Jordan?
00:56You might be pushing your limit.
00:57I'm just not sure I want to cope with all your emotional tantrums.
01:00My emotional tantrums?
01:01I'm so stupid, I wish I was dead!
01:03You're going to have tantrums, and you're going to throw fits, and you're going to get upset,
01:07and possessive, and make demands, and bring pots over your head.
01:10Ah!
01:10What the hell did you do to me?
01:13What the fuck?
01:14That does it!
01:15I am eating this!
01:17No!
01:17No!
01:18Camilla!
01:19Your crazy is on me!
01:20It's contagious!
01:22Nobody can be as responsible as you!
01:24What can I do to show you how sorry I am?
01:27Your therapist is telling on us!
01:29Oh, wow, yeah, one day in therapy, and now suddenly you're the expert?
01:32You're the expert!
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