- 2 days ago
Category
š„
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00So we're playing the space show for the second time.
00:00:07This guy passes out.
00:00:09Alright, it's about that time.
00:00:10What song are you?
00:00:12Kissing anybody at night?
00:00:20Yeah.
00:00:21Him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23It's him.
00:00:24Six!
00:00:26Five!
00:00:27Four!
00:00:28Three!
00:00:29Two!
00:00:30One!
00:00:31Ready!
00:00:55You're a cute scar.
00:00:57It's just my birthmark.
00:01:00Do you want me to stop singing now?
00:01:04I don't want you to stop.
00:01:06One, ever...
00:01:08One, ever...
00:01:09Follow me with that world,
00:01:11piratey.
00:01:14Tune the room.
00:01:15One, ever...
00:01:16Two, ever.
00:01:17Four.
00:01:19Pathet on Facebook.
00:01:21Find us a book.
00:01:24Two, ever...
00:01:27The world that is...
00:01:29Tune in of my life...
00:01:31I was so drunk last night.
00:01:40I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:45I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:53Happy New Year.
00:01:54Sam, it's me.
00:01:56Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:59I don't care how.
00:02:00Just do it.
00:02:01I will find you.
00:02:08Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:11I'm a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:14I need grandkids.
00:02:16I need you to...
00:02:17Message received, Mom.
00:02:18I need to go now.
00:02:19I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:21Seven years.
00:02:30Seven years.
00:02:32Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:34Why do you still love me?
00:02:35Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:45Well, it's been years.
00:02:47I'm ready to go to the inspection.
00:02:52I'm ready to go to the inspection.
00:02:52You're pressed, sir.
00:02:55But first, we found your big Christmas wife.
00:02:57She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:58Blonde hair, red top.
00:03:00And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:03:03We can never know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll check out the price.
00:03:06Good.
00:03:07Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:09Hi.
00:03:13One iced real latte, please.
00:03:15And one hot chocolate.
00:03:18I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:21Now, Auntie Debra and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:27See, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:29It's just for Christmas.
00:03:31But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:33Where's my real one?
00:03:38Uh...
00:03:39I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:44Sweetie, why don't you go find us at the table?
00:03:54Daddy!
00:03:55Oh, what?
00:04:03Daddy!
00:04:04No!
00:04:05I'm sorry.
00:04:07I'm not your dad.
00:04:08No, I'm not your dad.
00:04:10You're just as handsome as the house.
00:04:12Oh.
00:04:13Mommy, hurry!
00:04:14Your Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:24I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:27He's gorgeous.
00:04:28Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:35Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:37She's waiting to come out of the shop.
00:04:39Blonde hair, red dog.
00:04:41You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:44So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:46See, I knew you were the new daddy behind her.
00:04:49Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:50What's your name?
00:04:52Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:54Max, Aurelius.
00:04:56Eva.
00:04:57I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:05:02I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:05:05I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:07So, for our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:14$1,000 an hour?
00:05:16Well, yeah.
00:05:18It's $500 a day.
00:05:20Is that enough?
00:05:21That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:23What, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:25That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:27You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:29Look, my requirements are simple.
00:05:31Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:36And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:43So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:46Fine.
00:05:47But she'd have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:52Okay.
00:05:53Deal.
00:05:56Ready to go get married?
00:05:57Okay.
00:06:14This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:17Pictures.
00:06:17Baga, they're supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:47Okay, let me think we got it.
00:06:54I need some photos of us together too, to prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:07:01Yeah, of course.
00:07:04Happy holidays, Mom, from my family.
00:07:25Bad news, boss. The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife failed last minute.
00:07:31She failed.
00:07:33Who is...
00:07:35Who is she?
00:07:38Whatever. It doesn't matter.
00:07:41I'll cut what I need.
00:07:45Sam, don't worry about it. I already found someone.
00:07:53Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:56Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:58Christmas shopping?
00:08:00I should come.
00:08:02Look, if you want me to be the husband in this figure to your family plan, I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:08:08It'll make it more believable.
00:08:13Fine. Yeah, fine. Okay. We can help.
00:08:15We can help.
00:08:16Let's go. Which mall are we going, Sam?
00:08:25Uh, I'm not so good at the bottle.
00:08:26Uh-oh, it's good at the bank.
00:08:27What the actual fuck?
00:08:28Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:30Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:31She does kind of look like him.
00:08:40So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will save their from you.
00:08:41You're great.
00:08:42I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:43I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:44I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:45Also, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:52Okay.
00:08:53We should probably kiss once or twice in front of them.
00:08:53Okay.
00:08:54How does it look like him?
00:08:55She does kinda look like him.
00:08:59So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will save their from you.
00:09:06You are great.
00:09:07I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:09:09Also, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice in
00:09:19front of them.
00:09:21Okay.
00:09:22Should we use our tongues, or?
00:09:24No, no, definitely not.
00:09:26And absolutely no...
00:09:27Sex.
00:09:28Yes.
00:09:30This is strictly business.
00:09:32Anything physical outside of us not having it.
00:09:36What?
00:09:37Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:40I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:47Let's go.
00:09:52What are you doing?
00:09:56I never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:10:00Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:10:07Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:10:1050% off pies?
00:10:12Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:10:1312 pumpkin pies, did I hear this right?
00:10:15They're the best kind.
00:10:17Hurry up and go.
00:10:18What are you standing here for?
00:10:21Hello there.
00:10:22Hi.
00:10:23You ready?
00:10:23Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:25Okay, great.
00:10:26We have a holiday special today.
00:10:28Spend $500, get 10% off, and you're just short.
00:10:32$15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:34Oh, great.
00:10:35Yeah, what do you have that's just $15?
00:10:38Can you get a move on?
00:10:40I just got here.
00:10:42Relax.
00:10:43Yeah, yeah.
00:10:46Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:48Okay, thank you.
00:10:51Hurry up and pay.
00:10:52I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:57You can wait your turn.
00:11:03Damn, my fake wife has some fire.
00:11:05Hi, guys.
00:11:21Can I hand you all a prize?
00:11:25Yes.
00:11:28Of course.
00:11:30Thank you so much.
00:11:31Of course.
00:11:32I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:34She bought all 12 of us.
00:11:36Don't worry.
00:11:36I have enough for everybody.
00:11:37Just to give it away.
00:11:40Merry Christmas.
00:11:41Merry Christmas.
00:11:41Merry Christmas.
00:11:42Merry Christmas.
00:11:47What?
00:11:48Do you do that often?
00:11:50As often as I can.
00:11:56We should go.
00:11:57We got to need a paper.
00:12:01Hey, watch out.
00:12:02You done feeling me up?
00:12:23Shut up.
00:12:25Sorry.
00:12:26I was just in character.
00:12:27Why are you?
00:12:28Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:35And don't be late.
00:12:36Harrison Group?
00:12:50Did you do construction for a time or something?
00:12:53Sort of.
00:12:54Not that I'm judging.
00:12:55I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat while she was alive.
00:13:01Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:13:04I think that's responsible.
00:13:06Can we pick another company?
00:13:08No.
00:13:09Harrison Group is perfect.
00:13:11You'll find it impressive.
00:13:12My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:13:14So.
00:13:15Perfect.
00:13:20Oh, and, uh, there's something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:13:24Don't worry.
00:13:24Okay, I clean up nice today.
00:13:26I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:30Too much.
00:13:36Let's go, Sam.
00:13:53It's time to check out the new HD cell.
00:13:55God, you're covered in water.
00:13:57You have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:14:00It's my daughter.
00:14:02It's my daughter.
00:14:04Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:14:07Oh, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:36He's coming.
00:14:37Please don't tell me Max has failed.
00:14:42So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:45When's he arriving?
00:14:47Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to tell people talking.
00:14:52Poor thing.
00:14:52Not surprising.
00:14:54I mean, she's 30.
00:14:55Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:59Plus, a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:15:03This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:15:09Auntie Pamela?
00:15:10Daddy?
00:15:11My dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:15:14We're only worried about you.
00:15:16All these years without a husband.
00:15:19Zip it, Pamela.
00:15:21You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:24And look what happened.
00:15:25She got knocked up out of wedlock.
00:15:27Raising a kid all alone.
00:15:29I'm not alone.
00:15:30Mm-hmm.
00:15:31And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:37He's a manager.
00:15:39Manager?
00:15:40Of what?
00:15:41Trash.
00:15:43Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:47You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:51Actually, he's right here.
00:15:54Oh, wow.
00:15:59Wow.
00:16:00He is really good looking.
00:16:03Oh, must be AI.
00:16:05Mm-hmm.
00:16:06Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:16:09That's enough.
00:16:10She's our daughter, and your niece shows some respect.
00:16:14Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William,
00:16:19and you turned him down?
00:16:21Well, guess what?
00:16:23William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:26It's 500 grand a year.
00:16:29That's half a million.
00:16:31Half a million.
00:16:32Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:36And speak of the devil.
00:16:41We'll be even naked.
00:16:43There you are.
00:16:56Oh, look at you now, living the dream.
00:17:00Just think, Eva.
00:17:02Well, you could be driving around in a car like that
00:17:05had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:17:08So married, huh?
00:17:10Is it serious?
00:17:12That's what marriage is.
00:17:14It's pretty serious.
00:17:16Wow.
00:17:17You must have rushed to tie the night, huh?
00:17:20Makes sense, though.
00:17:21You not being a hot-dummed thing anymore.
00:17:24Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:17:27Yeah, a bullet dog, really.
00:17:30Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:33That's right.
00:17:34Just bought this brand-new suit, my Christmas bonus.
00:17:39Wouldn't love a man in red.
00:17:41Sexy.
00:17:42Like Santa Claus.
00:17:44Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:46Don't touch me.
00:17:47Oh, so entitled.
00:17:50Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:54And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:58I mean, look at that car.
00:18:00Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:18:04Think of the life I can give you in Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:18:07Get you nobody's husband and marry me instead.
00:18:12I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on first.
00:18:15My mom would never marry.
00:18:22She already has us, and he's going to kick your foot.
00:18:28Is that so?
00:18:30Well, then, where is he?
00:18:32Because they don't see him.
00:18:34Does anyone see him?
00:18:38No.
00:18:39Just like I thought.
00:18:41Family lies just like mommy.
00:18:43That puts you on the Nihilus.
00:18:47And let me show you that was not in children.
00:18:52Hey, mommy.
00:18:54Is it okay?
00:18:55See that?
00:18:56Oh, my God.
00:18:58I'm going to take her in and do a pastel, okay?
00:19:00Come on.
00:19:03That doesn't matter with you.
00:19:05How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:19:10Let me go.
00:19:11Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:19:16Let me go.
00:19:32Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:35Max, the king.
00:19:41Come on, you're sweet.
00:19:45Where's Piper?
00:19:47William Hare.
00:19:48Long down, no two green side.
00:19:50Well, it looks like we have a real grinch to dispose of.
00:19:53Well, well, well.
00:19:55It isn't a waste manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:59That's right.
00:19:59Now I'm about to take out the trash.
00:20:02Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:20:07It's an honor to meet you.
00:20:09I'm Max.
00:20:10Eva told us all about you.
00:20:11From New York.
00:20:13Polite.
00:20:13Handsome.
00:20:14Just like she said.
00:20:17Wow.
00:20:18He was an AI.
00:20:19See?
00:20:20He's real.
00:20:22He's more of a man here than really whatever dreams he'd be.
00:20:25You son of a bitch.
00:20:26You just ruined my suit.
00:20:28And what's the way that you drive that pristine automobile?
00:20:32That car?
00:20:34Oh, my God.
00:20:35That's worth more than a house.
00:20:37That car?
00:20:39It's all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:43Wait.
00:20:45Are you?
00:20:50Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:53And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:55I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:58You really are, Grimlin, aren't you?
00:21:00You stole it.
00:21:01That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:21:03Jesus.
00:21:04How did you get away with it?
00:21:06That's what I want to know.
00:21:08Enough, please.
00:21:11I'm just my daughter.
00:21:13You see, we never married a girl.
00:21:16Max, be honest with me.
00:21:19Where did that car come from?
00:21:21I'm still one flight.
00:21:23I'll be moving in and you'll make it three lifetimes.
00:21:27So, you need a breath in it.
00:21:32All right, listen, I'm calling the cops.
00:21:34Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:36Wait.
00:21:37What?
00:21:38Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:41Oh, well.
00:21:43Too late.
00:21:44Listen, I believe you.
00:21:53But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:57Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:59It's my car.
00:22:00It's not stolen.
00:22:01Yeah?
00:22:02If it's yours, then prove it.
00:22:05Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:22:08Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:22:09Okay, I'll prove that it's mine.
00:22:12But then you have to get lost.
00:22:14And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:22:16Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:22:19Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:22:21Loser.
00:22:22Say one more word and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:22:27Jesus.
00:22:28Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:22:30He's kind of sexy, though.
00:22:31Here.
00:22:35Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:44Mr.
00:22:47Harrison?
00:22:49Mr. Harrison?
00:22:53Mr. Harrison?
00:22:55Just play along.
00:22:57Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:59Now get the fuck out of here.
00:23:00Before I kicked your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:23:03Yes, sir.
00:23:04I'm so sorry, sir.
00:23:06Hey, please.
00:23:07Where's the book?
00:23:08Oh, Jesus.
00:23:19Oh, that William.
00:23:21What a jerk, huh?
00:23:23You fooled me.
00:23:24What can I say?
00:23:26Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:23:29Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:23:32Oh, come on.
00:23:32You know, we were just looking out for you.
00:23:35Place for Christmas, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:37You know, my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:39Soon.
00:23:40Do you think that you could help him give us a door?
00:23:44A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:49We are family, aren't we?
00:23:51And we take care of each other.
00:23:54If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else's.
00:23:59Abigail, come on.
00:24:00Talk to her for us.
00:24:02Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:24:06Yeah.
00:24:06I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:24:09My daughter is just far too busy for your best life for my new son-in-law.
00:24:15Come on, guys.
00:24:16Let's go in.
00:24:17Welcome to the family.
00:24:21Welcome.
00:24:22This is your fault, Pam.
00:24:29You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:24:33My fault.
00:24:34You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, will you?
00:24:38Hold.
00:24:47Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:49And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:51And how old are you?
00:24:52I told you.
00:24:53I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:55I have a friend in high places.
00:24:58A friend who just hands your keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:25:02Yes.
00:25:03It's the season of giving.
00:25:05He knows people.
00:25:07Has connections.
00:25:08He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:25:10You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:25:12Yeah, you best not forget it, capisce?
00:25:14Oh, my God, just don't blow your cover.
00:25:18Dad!
00:25:19Mom!
00:25:19Mom, thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:25:23Oh, honey.
00:25:24We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong...
00:25:30Good luck.
00:25:30I think they'd get it, hon.
00:25:34Uh, how's Piper?
00:25:36Oh, she's fine.
00:25:37Well, you guys just get soap and we will go check on her.
00:25:41And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the street.
00:25:46Great.
00:25:47See you in a bit.
00:25:48Don't we?
00:25:49Yeah.
00:25:49What are you doing?
00:25:52Okay.
00:25:52Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:26:00Relax.
00:26:01It was just a hug.
00:26:03Ugh.
00:26:05We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:26:08You'll be okay.
00:26:09It's just one week.
00:26:10Only now.
00:26:12Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:26:14What are you doing?
00:26:21That's weird.
00:26:23They were so muddy that they just said something to come in.
00:26:25I don't know.
00:26:26Something just falls off.
00:26:28That's ridiculous.
00:26:29I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:26:31They don't want us to prove them?
00:26:34Oh, my God.
00:26:36Later.
00:26:36Later.
00:26:39Later.
00:26:44Here we go.
00:26:47Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:49Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:26:51To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:54Oh.
00:26:56Welcome.
00:26:57Cheers.
00:26:57Thank you, Ms. Smith.
00:26:59Looks great.
00:27:00Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:27:02I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:27:07But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:27:11Oh, no.
00:27:12Mom's touching him.
00:27:13She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:27:15You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:27:22Ow.
00:27:23Eva, sweetie.
00:27:25Kicking my foot?
00:27:26Oh, sorry, mom.
00:27:28Oh, jeez.
00:27:31It's okay.
00:27:32Mom, of course he knows it.
00:27:34I would like to hear Max say it.
00:27:3612 pumpkin pies.
00:27:50I hear this right?
00:27:51The best kind.
00:27:54Well, of course.
00:27:55It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:57See?
00:27:59Are you happy now?
00:28:00That's good, but something still falls off.
00:28:03Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:28:06We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:28:12But our marriage is real.
00:28:14I guess your mom was just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:28:18Ah, now those are quality.
00:28:20Okay, well, then answer this.
00:28:25Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:28:28Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:28:32I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:28:36Well, um, it's...
00:28:38Silly face, dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:28:42Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:28:44Silly face, um, I'm not paying extra for this.
00:28:49Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:51You're a lot of stars.
00:28:53Oh, my gosh.
00:28:55You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:58Well, believe it or not, Ms. Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:29:01And I'm not just talking about William.
00:29:03Ah, I'll get you out.
00:29:05Is that group there?
00:29:07So, come on, guys, let's eat.
00:29:09Let's eat.
00:29:10And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:29:25I have another room set up for Piper.
00:29:28Nice and festive for you.
00:29:31No complications, right?
00:29:32Sorry, honey.
00:29:34Uh, Mom, you know what?
00:29:35I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:29:37Oh, honey.
00:29:38Really?
00:29:38You might shouldn't sleep apart.
00:29:42Oh, I just remembered.
00:29:44The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:29:45Something about water conservation.
00:29:48That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:50Or 15 minutes?
00:29:52Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:53Just shower together.
00:29:56Shower together?
00:30:00Just shower together.
00:30:02Okay, you guys.
00:30:03Have a good night, okay?
00:30:08You heard it.
00:30:23Why are you tripping?
00:30:34Well, I can't take a shower and your clothes on.
00:30:37Come on, we're wasting time.
00:30:38We have 15 minutes.
00:30:39Nice try.
00:30:40I am not showering with you.
00:30:42All right, suit yourself.
00:30:44Or move your main there.
00:30:45Not in my chair first.
00:30:47Come on, Max.
00:31:06Get out of the way.
00:31:07You could be nothing physical.
00:31:09You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:31:11Relax.
00:31:12I won't touch you.
00:31:14Unless you say you want me to help.
00:31:17You're going to have a lot of space.
00:31:29In your dreams.
00:31:32Free to join me.
00:31:47So, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower or water left.
00:31:57You bitch.
00:31:58Why aren't you getting in?
00:32:00Ready to call for me?
00:32:02It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:32:05Oh, yeah?
00:32:05It's you who has to worry about being in my house.
00:32:19Holy shit.
00:32:23Um, this is a...
00:32:25This is going to be hurting myself.
00:32:27I'll say.
00:32:29I'll say.
00:32:30What happened to all that cool guy companies?
00:32:33So I'll say, keep coming in.
00:32:36Maybe.
00:32:38I don't want to.
00:32:39Yeah.
00:32:44I don't know.
00:32:48I'm sorry.
00:32:49Maybe we should.
00:32:50God, you're such a good kisser.
00:32:52Why does this feel so familiar?
00:33:02Oh, for so.
00:33:04Yes.
00:33:04Max, we cannot do this.
00:33:15What?
00:33:16I didn't mean to cross any...
00:33:18It's not you, Max.
00:33:19It's us.
00:33:20It's this.
00:33:20This is all an ass.
00:33:22Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:33:25You're right.
00:33:27I'm sorry.
00:33:29Yes.
00:33:29You need to be sorry.
00:33:30Just...
00:33:30That birthmark.
00:33:45What is that?
00:33:47It's him.
00:33:48The man from New Year's.
00:33:50Is he...
00:33:51Piper's father?
00:33:55Why are you acting?
00:33:59Oh, my God.
00:34:00Max is Piper's father.
00:34:03Are you okay?
00:34:04Yeah.
00:34:06I just, um...
00:34:07I just got laid in.
00:34:09I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:34:11I'll um...
00:34:12Of course.
00:34:17We have a daughter together.
00:34:19Why not?
00:34:20What do I do?
00:34:21I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:34:30You can take the bed.
00:34:32Thanks.
00:34:34Hey.
00:34:36Are you sure you're okay?
00:34:38Look, fake marriage aside, I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:34:42So if there's something you need, I can help.
00:34:45I want to help.
00:34:47He's Piper's father.
00:34:48He has a way to know.
00:34:51Um...
00:34:52Max...
00:34:54How would you feel if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:58A child?
00:35:03No, no, no.
00:35:03That's...
00:35:04That's impossible.
00:35:05I'm very careful.
00:35:08Mostly.
00:35:10I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:35:13Family to me is a big commitment.
00:35:15And I don't want any loose ends.
00:35:18You know?
00:35:19Right.
00:35:20He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:35:24I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:35:26Why do you ask?
00:35:28No, I said just...
00:35:30Just curious.
00:35:31No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:35:35What?
00:35:36No.
00:35:38Well, then...
00:35:39Can I ask you a question?
00:35:41Shoot.
00:35:41Where did you get these?
00:35:48And how did you know my exact size?
00:35:51I did not get those.
00:35:53I don't know where those came from.
00:35:55Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:58Oh, my God.
00:36:01Oh, my God.
00:36:02Oh, my God.
00:36:03Oh, my God.
00:36:03Oh, my God.
00:36:04Oh, my God.
00:36:11The truth is, is that I...
00:36:21Just a second.
00:36:25Come in.
00:36:27Hey, I'm...
00:36:28Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I talk around.
00:36:35You need to take this one, Dad?
00:36:36I'm kind of in the middle of something.
00:36:39I can see that.
00:36:40Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:36:43I mean, if you don't...
00:36:44If you don't mind.
00:36:45Well, I don't want...
00:36:47You know what?
00:36:47Just put his shirt on.
00:36:49I'm going to go get her.
00:36:50Piper!
00:36:51Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:55He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the
00:37:01down of a thistle.
00:37:02But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all,
00:37:10a good night.
00:37:14If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:37:18Good night, Piper.
00:37:23Is her dad still around?
00:37:25Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you're her dad.
00:37:29I don't know.
00:37:31That man has no idea what a treasure he's going to see on.
00:37:39Do you really think so?
00:37:41From the bottom of my heart?
00:37:44Maybe I should tell him.
00:37:46He deserves to know.
00:37:47Max.
00:37:57You're Piper's father.
00:38:06I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:08I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:08I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:08I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:12Where's Piper?
00:38:35She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:38:37I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:37I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:39I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:40I'm sorry about the times, right?
00:38:54God, I think she's gonna kiss her.
00:39:04Just gonna kiss her, right?
00:39:07No, I'm not working.
00:39:10Yeah, this. I remember this.
00:39:25Good morning, you two love bugs. How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:39:31Good morning, Ms. Smith. It was great.
00:39:34Wonderful.
00:39:35Well, it's about to get even better.
00:39:37Oh, no.
00:39:40What is that?
00:39:41Sardines and saltines. It's a Smith family classic.
00:39:45It was my grand-grand's favorite during wartime.
00:39:48Don't be shy. Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:39:51Max, you don't have to.
00:39:53No, no, it's okay.
00:39:55Smith family staple.
00:39:58It's over there.
00:39:59It's over there.
00:40:08It's over there.
00:40:17Good?
00:40:18Good.
00:40:19Good.
00:40:20Well, I'm good.
00:40:22Well, you two better get dressed. You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:40:28Can I, um...
00:40:29Can I have some water, please?
00:40:30That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:40:34What's the deal with them?
00:40:36Every year Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:40:39Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:40:43Hey, don't worry.
00:40:44I'll protect you and Piper.
00:40:49Better have Sam on standby tonight.
00:40:51Just in case.
00:40:52Well...
00:40:53Looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:41:07Wait, that earring.
00:41:10Wait.
00:41:11That earring.
00:41:12You like it?
00:41:14I was so bummed when I lost the matching line years ago.
00:41:17Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:41:19I don't really remember the details, but...
00:41:22Luckily, I was able to find a new pair.
00:41:26Right.
00:41:27That's just a common hearing.
00:41:28Anyone can have it.
00:41:29Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:41:31She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:41:36So, Ava and Piper...
00:41:39Still aren't here.
00:41:41That earring said that Ava got married.
00:41:44What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:41:47An aging single mom.
00:41:50Slim pickings.
00:41:51I heard.
00:41:52He's in waste management.
00:41:54That explains it.
00:41:55She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:59Oh, please, Miranda.
00:42:00Well, Ava is your niece.
00:42:02Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:42:04Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:42:08Her track record speaks for itself.
00:42:09Exactly.
00:42:10Not like my Sierra.
00:42:12Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:42:18You're here.
00:42:20Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:42:26Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:42:28Merry Christmas.
00:42:30You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:42:32I am.
00:42:33I'm Eva's husband.
00:42:34Max.
00:42:35Pleasure to meet you.
00:42:36Welcome.
00:42:37You're Eva's husband.
00:42:39But...
00:42:40You're gorgeous.
00:42:43But...
00:42:44I miss you.
00:42:45Look at you two.
00:42:46You look like you just stepped out of the movie.
00:42:49Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:42:50This is for Max and I.
00:42:53Oh, my goodness.
00:42:54How'd you do that?
00:42:55Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:42:58Oops.
00:42:59Oh, my bad.
00:43:00Ooh.
00:43:01A homemade gift.
00:43:03How thrifty.
00:43:05Not all kisses are about the price tag.
00:43:07Mommy's right.
00:43:08You mean all the hat?
00:43:10You little.
00:43:12You will not lay a hand on my daughter.
00:43:15We will lose yours.
00:43:16Oh.
00:43:18You think you broke my wrist?
00:43:20Look what you just did to my mother.
00:43:22My husband is Harrison Hood's top legal advisor.
00:43:25He could ruin your life.
00:43:40Hi.
00:43:41Are you okay?
00:43:42I'm fine.
00:43:43I'm just fine.
00:43:44It's okay.
00:43:45It's okay.
00:43:48What are you...
00:43:51Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:43:54Did you just slap me?
00:43:56Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:58You're a fucking psycho.
00:43:59You know what, Sierra?
00:44:00I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:44:06We're family.
00:44:07She needs me.
00:44:13You okay, honey?
00:44:14Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:44:16Do something.
00:44:18You don't know who you're messing with.
00:44:20I've got the full weight of the Harrison group behind me.
00:44:22Oh, wow.
00:44:23I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:44:28Look, like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:44:31Let's call him.
00:44:32I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:44:36Please.
00:44:37Who do you think you are?
00:44:39Do not.
00:44:41There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:44:45Fine, Dad.
00:44:46Let it go, Nathan.
00:44:48They're just jealous.
00:44:51For Grandpa's sake.
00:44:52I'll let you off easy.
00:44:54I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:44:57I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:45:01Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:45:02All right, that's enough.
00:45:04Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:45:06Let's sit down.
00:45:27Is this a joke?
00:45:30Can you please pass me some food?
00:45:31Hold it.
00:45:32Who said you could eat anything else?
00:45:34My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:45:41My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:45:44King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wild hue.
00:45:49Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:45:53And you don't get a single bite.
00:45:56It's just petty.
00:45:57Maybe so.
00:45:59But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:46:03Fine.
00:46:04Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:46:06Come on, let's go.
00:46:07Oh no.
00:46:08Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:46:12Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:46:15I know, dear.
00:46:16I just want to have our family together.
00:46:18Fine.
00:46:19We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:46:21We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:46:22We're strays, you bitch.
00:46:23What was that?
00:46:24I just want to have our family together.
00:46:29Fine.
00:46:30We'll stay.
00:46:32Can I have a little apple?
00:46:34Can I have a little apple?
00:46:35It's okay, sweetie.
00:46:36We'll get something right after.
00:46:38Like, drive-thru?
00:46:41I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:46:43That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:46:47No safe.
00:46:48Al, please.
00:46:49Are you okay?
00:46:50No safe.
00:46:51You hit my child.
00:46:52You're fucking crazy.
00:46:53Well, if you teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:46:58Don't worry, baby.
00:46:59I'll handle it.
00:47:00Don't worry, baby.
00:47:01I'll handle it.
00:47:02Don't worry, baby.
00:47:03I'll handle it.
00:47:04Don't worry, baby.
00:47:05I'll handle it.
00:47:06Hi, partner.
00:47:07Sweetie.
00:47:08Are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:47:11Okay, sweetheart.
00:47:12Give me two minutes.
00:47:13I want a phone call.
00:47:14As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:47:17Actually, I do.
00:47:18He's such a liar.
00:47:19This ought to be hilarious.
00:47:20Oh.
00:47:21It will be.
00:47:22Sam.
00:47:23Yeah, send the troops.
00:47:24And bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:47:25I'm already on my way.
00:47:26I'm already on my way.
00:47:27I'm already on my way.
00:47:28I'm already on my way.
00:47:30I'm already on my way.
00:47:31I'm already on my way.
00:47:47You hear this guy?
00:47:48He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:47:49From Antarctica.
00:47:50Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:47:51His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:47:52Excellent.
00:47:53What are you doing?
00:47:54Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:47:55Santa's already on the swing.
00:47:56Actually.
00:47:57Five.
00:47:58Four.
00:47:59Three.
00:48:00Two.
00:48:01One.
00:48:02One.
00:48:03One.
00:48:04One.
00:48:05One.
00:48:06One.
00:48:07One.
00:48:08One.
00:48:09One.
00:48:10One.
00:48:11One.
00:48:12One.
00:48:13One.
00:48:14One.
00:48:15One.
00:48:16One.
00:48:17One.
00:48:18One.
00:48:19One.
00:48:20One.
00:48:21One.
00:48:22One.
00:48:23One.
00:48:24One.
00:48:25One.
00:48:26One.
00:48:27One.
00:48:28One.
00:48:29One.
00:48:30One.
00:48:31One.
00:48:32One.
00:48:33One.
00:48:34One.
00:48:35One.
00:48:36One.
00:48:37One.
00:48:38One.
00:48:39One.
00:48:40One.
00:48:41One.
00:48:42One.
00:48:43One.
00:48:44One.
00:48:45One.
00:48:46One.
00:48:47If I think it's time you actually know the truth, I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:48:54You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:48:58Mm-hmm.
00:49:01Come on.
00:49:03You can stop kidding around.
00:49:06You're a CEO.
00:49:06Why don't you be here?
00:49:08I'm hearing my husband.
00:49:09I actually am the CEO.
00:49:11Come on.
00:49:12You can stop the charade, okay?
00:49:14This is just another favor from that big, big friend, isn't it?
00:49:16Ava, I'm not pretending.
00:49:20Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab, as you requested.
00:49:33How is this possible?
00:49:36This loser brings an Arctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:49:42Who are you?
00:49:43I told you.
00:49:44I told you I'm Eva's husband.
00:49:47That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:49:49Wait.
00:49:50No.
00:49:50Hold on.
00:49:53You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:49:57You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:50:00Hm.
00:50:00Some of the small ones.
00:50:02I mean, you know that.
00:50:04You work for me.
00:50:06Look, I felt my own boss.
00:50:09I'm finished.
00:50:10I'm finished.
00:50:10I'm finished.
00:50:14I didn't think Max would commit this hard, pretending that your CEO is a hell of a move, worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:50:26For tonight, you're cease-since.
00:50:29And with that, you're courier.
00:50:31You're fired.
00:50:33Fired?
00:50:34Sam?
00:50:38You're fired?
00:50:39God.
00:50:40I can't be fired!
00:50:43Yes!
00:50:44Mr. Harrison, please.
00:50:46Give me as much crab as you want.
00:50:48Please.
00:50:48Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:50:50Hey, guys, I got the trash.
00:50:58And you.
00:50:59Oh, me?
00:51:02Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:51:03That was a Christmas joke, a family tradition.
00:51:07Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:51:10Sam?
00:51:14Will you give me the honors?
00:51:17Happy.
00:51:18Happy.
00:51:20Merry Christmas.
00:51:26Father, do something.
00:51:29Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:51:31I'm leaving.
00:51:33Mmm, I'm getting my favorite.
00:51:40Come on, sweetie.
00:51:42Daddy, have a crab line just for you.
00:51:44Eat as much as you want.
00:51:46Yes, Daddy.
00:51:47Ready?
00:51:50I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:51:52I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:51:54Honestly?
00:51:56This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:51:59Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:52:01Just like this.
00:52:03Does he really mean that?
00:52:04Or is he just playing the part?
00:52:06I can't tell.
00:52:08And that terrifies me.
00:52:09Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:52:15I brought you a gift.
00:52:17Here's the fraternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:52:20Oh, thanks.
00:52:25Oh, this is wonderful.
00:52:28Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:52:30Tell me everything.
00:52:33Mrs. Vismuth?
00:52:34Single mother, small-town gal.
00:52:36Didn't finish high school.
00:52:37Kerman works for me, too.
00:52:39Oh, maybe Maximus.
00:52:40I thought I raised you better.
00:52:42A high school dropout?
00:52:45In the Harrison family?
00:52:47Not a chance.
00:52:49She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:52:56Maximus seems to like her.
00:52:57Silence.
00:52:58Get me the address where she works.
00:53:00It's Happy Hills on Broadway.
00:53:01That's nice.
00:53:03We own that one.
00:53:05Good work.
00:53:06Take that stupid hat.
00:53:18Thanks.
00:53:19So your dad insisted that I try this one.
00:53:21That he's been saving for 20 years.
00:53:25Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:53:28Yeah, how about you?
00:53:32Me?
00:53:33Yeah.
00:53:36Were you happy with your new husband?
00:53:41Eva?
00:53:41That birthmark.
00:53:54Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:54:01Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:54:03So much we're not telling each other.
00:54:04No feelings, no complications.
00:54:08That's what we agreed upon.
00:54:10Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:54:12Max.
00:54:14Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:54:14It's cold.
00:54:19Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:54:22Max.
00:54:24I need to tell you something.
00:54:28Something important.
00:54:30What's gotten into her?
00:54:31Is she hiding something?
00:54:34Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:54:36I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:54:42Hyper is...
00:54:45Hyper is...
00:54:47Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:54:49Sweetie.
00:54:51Oh, my gosh.
00:54:51I'm so ill.
00:54:52Must have known when that whip smacked you with the fork earlier.
00:54:55Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:54:56Mommy's gonna go get a first date, okay?
00:55:01Come on, Hyper.
00:55:01Okay, let me see.
00:55:09I promise I won't let anybody hurt you or Mommy again.
00:55:13But that's not true.
00:55:15You were leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:55:19Daddy!
00:55:20No!
00:55:21No!
00:55:28Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:55:31Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:55:37Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:55:39Really?
00:55:40Please stay, Daddy.
00:55:44You think it will scar?
00:55:51I wouldn't worry about it.
00:55:52Scars make you look like a badass.
00:55:54I have one suit.
00:55:56Dad.
00:55:58I got that when I was about your age.
00:56:00Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:56:03Really?
00:56:04No way.
00:56:05No.
00:56:06It was actually a cactus.
00:56:07But it's still cool.
00:56:11I had something like that on the back of my neck.
00:56:16Piper.
00:56:17How long have you had that?
00:56:19My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:56:21And how old are you?
00:56:28Six.
00:56:29Six?
00:56:30That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:56:33Okay, I found the first day, Kit.
00:56:35Hey, Laura, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:56:36What do I even say?
00:56:41And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:56:43Sorry, honey.
00:56:44This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:56:48Um, yeah.
00:56:52Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:56:55Eva.
00:56:55Hey, look.
00:57:03Piper is...
00:57:07Go on.
00:57:16That must be an emergency.
00:57:19Excuse me.
00:57:21Sorry.
00:57:21I'm serious.
00:57:22Wait, are you okay?
00:57:30Yeah.
00:57:33Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:57:36I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:57:38Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:57:43I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:57:47She's a high school dropout.
00:57:49Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:57:51And she's only fit to raise my granddaughter.
00:57:54I'm your husband.
00:57:55Max, that man has no idea what the treasure...
00:58:00He's missing out.
00:58:01I'm sorry, Max.
00:58:06You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:58:08Your mother would take her away.
00:58:09After Christmas, it's over.
00:58:13Eva?
00:58:15Maximus?
00:58:16Are you even listening to me?
00:58:18No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:58:20I'm sorry, okay?
00:58:21Eva's my wife, and I made up my mind.
00:58:23I'm not leaving her.
00:58:26Eva?
00:58:27Oh, my God.
00:58:38This is for you, Grandma.
00:58:45Oh, wow.
00:58:47That's so beautiful.
00:58:49Derek, this is...
00:58:51Eva.
00:58:52Oh, this is so welcome.
00:58:55I'm glad you're here.
00:58:57Oh, wow.
00:59:01That is great.
00:59:03Grandpa, rain win, show of yours.
00:59:11Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:59:13Send me to the other room by the train set.
00:59:15Can I do it with you?
00:59:16That's the song we sang.
00:59:18Hey, baby.
00:59:18Grandma got run over by a reindeer with a ass.
00:59:21Oh, come home from our house.
00:59:23Christmas Eve.
00:59:24Have you ever told me?
00:59:32Have we met before?
00:59:37Have we met before?
00:59:40She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:59:43I don't know what you're getting at.
00:59:49Eva, I had the same birthmark as Piper.
00:59:52I don't know what you're talking about.
01:00:01Lots of people have birthmarks.
01:00:03They're very common.
01:00:04They feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
01:00:07No matter how I feel about him.
01:00:11Maybe.
01:00:12Are you okay?
01:00:15Well, the claw's a bad idea.
01:00:21I know.
01:00:22I'm fine.
01:00:24Um.
01:00:26Oh, I almost forgot.
01:00:30Yeah, she is.
01:00:31You got me a gift, too?
01:00:33Tis the season.
01:00:35Okay.
01:00:35Close.
01:00:51Did you make these?
01:00:53Yeah.
01:00:54I know this is a fake marriage, but it's Christmas.
01:00:58You've already done so much for me.
01:00:59I just want to do a little something for you.
01:01:01How do they feel?
01:01:06Warm, right?
01:01:07Yeah.
01:01:08Warm.
01:01:11Soft.
01:01:14Perfect.
01:01:18Thank you, Eva.
01:01:20I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:01:25Really?
01:01:26Yeah, my mom.
01:01:27She partied all the time.
01:01:29And I got gifts.
01:01:31Plenty of them, but, um, I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:01:37Nothing personal.
01:01:39You deserve it.
01:01:42You're a good guy.
01:01:44And that someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:01:51What if that day's today?
01:01:53What if I've already found someone special?
01:02:00Right here.
01:02:01Right here.
01:02:01Well, you're a good guy.
01:02:26What if that day's today?
01:02:26Please, we can't.
01:02:29If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:02:38I don't want you to stop.
01:02:45No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:02:56I don't want you to stop.
01:03:03I don't want you to stop.
01:03:09I don't want you to stop.
01:03:13God, you're trying to keep this.
01:03:19Micah!
01:03:26Barbara?
01:03:29Barbara?
01:03:50Eva?
01:03:51Grandma!
01:03:55Grandma, I'm up here!
01:04:09That was way too quick.
01:04:11Yeah.
01:04:12We would have gotten on a naughty list.
01:04:14Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:04:20Can I still unwrap my present?
01:04:25You still haven't given me mine.
01:04:29I'm gonna be giving it to you.
01:04:34I'm gonna be giving it to you.
01:04:38I got here!
01:04:40No!
01:04:41No!
01:04:44No!
01:04:46No!
01:04:48No!
01:04:50No!
01:04:52No!
01:04:54No!
01:04:56No!
01:04:57Hello, Edith Smith, I'm Max's mother, name your price, what would it take for you to
01:05:26leave my son alone?
01:05:28What?
01:05:29We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:05:33Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:05:37My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:05:41Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:05:45So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:05:53Well, that's not a beautiful wife.
01:05:59You okay?
01:06:04We made it to Christmas, so I think it's best to leave our separate ways.
01:06:11What are you talking about?
01:06:13It's over.
01:06:14It's not that hard to understand.
01:06:20Eva, wait!
01:06:24So last night meant nothing to you?
01:06:31Max, it's not real.
01:06:33None of it is real.
01:06:35So, this is just a goodbye.
01:06:39I didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:06:42Look.
01:06:44Last night, I let my guard down.
01:06:49But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:06:52And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:06:54Just tell me what you need.
01:06:56I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband.
01:07:00A good father.
01:07:02Just say the word.
01:07:08You don't get it.
01:07:11You don't get it.
01:07:12I think it's time back when I go back to you.
01:07:26I won't give up on this.
01:07:43Are we here?
01:07:45Yes.
01:07:47As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:07:53Piper, sweetie, make up.
01:07:56Problem.
01:08:00How could you just walk away?
01:08:02Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:08:12It's part of the agreement, too.
01:08:14Can I just pay you a little extra to skip it?
01:08:17You promised.
01:08:19Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:08:21Can you do this for me, please?
01:08:25Alright, fine.
01:08:26When?
01:08:28Two days.
01:08:30I'll come pick you up.
01:08:31Don't eat.
01:08:33Just send me the address to mommy and daddy.
01:08:40I know you and mommy thought,
01:08:43but she still really likes you.
01:08:45So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:08:48Thank you, sweetie.
01:08:49If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:08:52I always fight for the ones I love.
01:09:02I know you.
01:09:03I can't believe the lady.
01:09:04I hear you.
01:09:05From the past.
01:09:06He was meeting my mother today.
01:09:16Time to finally throw her to the truth.
01:09:19Boss?
01:09:21Boss?
01:09:24Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:09:28I need to go and back my family.
01:09:31Family?
01:09:32Boss, you would pick?
01:09:33Never better.
01:09:36Go get her, Max.
01:09:41That's your best smile.
01:09:43Ah, there he is.
01:09:46Maximus, darling.
01:09:48I have some prospects for you.
01:09:50Nice high society girls from the city.
01:09:55Oh.
01:09:58I told you.
01:09:59I already found the woman I love.
01:10:03Well, I...
01:10:04Maximus, stop this.
01:10:10That evil woman is standing near, son.
01:10:13Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:10:17You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:10:20No, I'm not.
01:10:21Oh.
01:10:23I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:10:28I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:10:31I'm a father.
01:10:33What?
01:10:47Huh?
01:10:48That's her.
01:10:49The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:10:52Hi.
01:10:55Welcome in.
01:10:55Can I help you find something?
01:10:57I want to try those.
01:11:02Awesome.
01:11:02We're going to bring you right away.
01:11:05Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:11:08No, no, no.
01:11:13I know what I want.
01:11:14Five, seven.
01:11:17Oh, baby can't even walk if she wants $3,000 heels.
01:11:21Come on.
01:11:22She wants the white shoes.
01:11:28Ignore her.
01:11:29She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:11:31Here, we help you.
01:11:33Come on.
01:11:33She seems kind.
01:11:44I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:11:46She's just doing her job.
01:11:49How do you feel?
01:11:51Well, I love this style.
01:11:53But it's too small.
01:11:55I think I need a size up.
01:11:57Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:12:02Right away.
01:12:03I'll be right back.
01:12:04She's not only kind.
01:12:06She's patient.
01:12:07Was I wrong about her?
01:12:24Are you only here, Becklett?
01:12:28Well, who gives a shit?
01:12:30She can't walk.
01:12:33That's just pure evil.
01:12:38Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:12:41She's in a wheelchair.
01:12:43Who cares?
01:12:44It's the last pair.
01:12:45I get paid commission.
01:12:47I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:12:58This is your whole problem.
01:13:00This is why you'll always be broke.
01:13:04I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:13:07I'm not sending her joke.
01:13:09She has to deal with people like this?
01:13:13People who insult her all day?
01:13:16I'm your manager.
01:13:21Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:13:25Did I stutter?
01:13:36You don't have to fire me.
01:13:39I quit.
01:13:40I don't work here anymore.
01:13:49Listen, don't buy the shoes.
01:13:52They're broken.
01:13:52Spend your heart and money in spare, okay?
01:13:54You're a good person after all.
01:13:58Looks like I misjudged you.
01:14:00I'm sorry?
01:14:04Why are you still here, Eva?
01:14:06Get out.
01:14:12You're not disabled?
01:14:14Selling broken heels to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:14:19Absolutely shameful.
01:14:21Who are you?
01:14:22I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group
01:14:26and the owner of the store.
01:14:28You're Eleanor Harrison,
01:14:31mother of the CEO?
01:14:33I am.
01:14:35And you, my dear, are fired.
01:14:38I do.
01:14:42You are a good person.
01:14:45From now on,
01:14:46this store is yours to run.
01:14:51Are you serious?
01:14:54That's right.
01:14:56Don't be nervous, child.
01:14:59You are professional,
01:15:01responsible,
01:15:02far better than that two-bit manager.
01:15:08You.
01:15:09Out.
01:15:11I'll leave.
01:15:14I'm leaving.
01:15:15I, I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:15:21No, don't worry.
01:15:24You're getting a promotion.
01:15:26You deserve it, my dear.
01:15:31First assignment?
01:15:33I want that row,
01:15:34and that row,
01:15:36and the entire display case.
01:15:39Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:15:41Once we're home,
01:15:47I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:15:49I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:15:59She's the mother of CEO.
01:16:01Of course she was like this.
01:16:02Mrs. Harrison?
01:16:14I'm here with your delivery.
01:16:18Max?
01:16:20Eva?
01:16:21What are you doing here?
01:16:24I, uh...
01:16:25There you are, Eva!
01:16:28Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:16:31My new daughter-in-law.
01:16:34What are you talking about?
01:16:38This means you really are the CEO of Harrison.
01:16:43Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:16:45Stop!
01:16:47And you!
01:16:48You lied to me at the store!
01:16:51You were both just testing me?
01:16:53Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:16:55I'm sorry, Eva.
01:16:57I thought you might be using my son
01:16:59just after his money.
01:17:01But I was wrong.
01:17:02Eva, please.
01:17:03I don't deserve to be traded like this.
01:17:05And every working-class girl
01:17:07is after your money.
01:17:09But you think that of me.
01:17:11It's not like that, dear.
01:17:13Eva, what are you talking about?
01:17:16Mom!
01:17:16What did you do?
01:17:18I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:17:20We're not together.
01:17:23I can't love something that was never real.
01:17:25I'm getting a horrible mistake.
01:17:32What are you waiting for, son?
01:17:34No effort.
01:17:38Eva.
01:17:39Let me go!
01:17:40I swear, it's not what you think.
01:17:42But we come from two completely different worlds.
01:17:44Stop pretending that you care.
01:17:45I'm not pretending.
01:17:47Hey, I can't fake what we have.
01:17:49In everything I've done for you,
01:17:50and Piper,
01:17:51this is real.
01:17:55Touch my wife again,
01:17:58and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:18:01Max, the king.
01:18:03God, you won't try me.
01:18:04I'll do whatever it takes
01:18:08to be a good husband,
01:18:10a good father.
01:18:12Just see the word.
01:18:16See?
01:18:16Stop fighting.
01:18:21We belong together.
01:18:24You're wrong.
01:18:25Wrong about what?
01:18:28That you care?
01:18:29Or we belong together?
01:18:31Look, I already told you.
01:18:33We're from two completely different worlds.
01:18:35Now, I held up my end of the deal,
01:18:36and I met your mother,
01:18:37like we discussed.
01:18:39I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:18:44Eva.
01:18:45Eva.
01:18:48Eva!
01:18:51I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:18:52Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:19:02Help.
01:19:03Are you okay, Mommy?
01:19:05Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:19:06Come here.
01:19:08No, you're not fine.
01:19:18You're sad.
01:19:21I'm okay, sweetie.
01:19:24I miss Daddy, too.
01:19:26I want Max to be my girl, Daddy.
01:19:34Don't you want to be with him?
01:19:38I'm not a bug.
01:19:39You're right.
01:19:41What am I doing?
01:19:42Running like a coward?
01:19:45I've always taught you to be brave.
01:19:48Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:19:52I believe in you.
01:19:53What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:19:54I know exactly what to say to him.
01:20:01Maximus deserves to know.
01:20:03Piper is his daughter.
01:20:04Enough sulking.
01:20:13Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:20:16Don't you think I want to?
01:20:19She doesn't want me.
01:20:20I didn't raise you to give up.
01:20:22Your daughter is still out there.
01:20:24You can't abandon her.
01:20:26Mom, you don't get it.
01:20:27I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:20:31And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:20:35What are you talking about?
01:20:37I already ran a DNA test.
01:20:40Piper is your daughter.
01:20:42What?
01:20:43See for yourself.
01:20:51That's right.
01:20:52Seven years ago.
01:20:54In the years, that woman was Eva.
01:20:57Eva!
01:21:11Daddy!
01:21:13Daddy!
01:21:14Piper!
01:21:16Oh, I missed you so much, Samuel.
01:21:25You came back.
01:21:27I, uh...
01:21:31Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:21:40I, uh...
01:21:42I was scared.
01:21:44But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:21:46Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:21:49Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:21:54I have something to tell you, too.
01:21:59I appreciate you, sir.
01:22:00I...
01:22:00You knew.
01:22:02My sweet granddaughter.
01:22:04Mama!
01:22:05Mama!
01:22:08I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:22:11But you've known this whole time?
01:22:13I'm scared.
01:22:14Okay?
01:22:14I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:22:17I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:22:20How could you not know how I felt?
01:22:21I love you, Eva.
01:22:37I love you, too.
01:22:38I promise.
01:22:41For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:22:45As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:22:48Will you marry me, Eva?
01:23:01For real this time?
01:23:02Yeah, yes.
01:23:04Yes, of course I'll marry you.
01:23:10Yes.
01:23:11Hi.
01:23:11Hi.
01:23:14Hi.
01:23:15Hi.
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01:23:46Hi.
01:23:47Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:23:49Again.
01:23:53No?
01:23:53Not like?
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