00:00I have developed strange spots on my chest. During the doctor's examination, a man nearby stared intently at me.
00:06I'm sorry, who are you?
00:08Uh, Jamie Randall.
00:10Oh, hi.
00:12Intern.
00:13I thought he was a doctor, but I later found out. That man was actually a fraud. He was just a pharmaceutical representative.
00:21Oh, crap! You let me take my shirt off you!
00:26Okay, I apologize.
00:27I snapped his photo and left.
00:30Unexpectedly, he asked me out for coffee the next day. I wanted to see what tricks he had up his sleeve. When we met, he was smooth talking. His intentions weren't pure from the start, but looking at his handsome face, my heart raced instantly, and I couldn't control my trembling hands. Come on, just enjoy the moment. There won't be a future anyway. I have Parkinson's syndrome, a disease that makes my hands shake, my muscles stiffen, and gradually steals my control over my body.
00:58I'm only 26. But I've already glimpsed my difficult future. Although we seemed like a couple, I never wanted to define the relationship. I was afraid he would see my condition worsen, and walk away like everyone else.
01:10The pain of being abandoned, is far crueler than loneliness itself. My episodes grew more frequent, and the side effects of the medication make me emotionally overwhelmed. I wanted to end the relationship early, so I said the most hurtful things to drive him away.
01:24But he came back. Not only did he return, he also researched everything about Parkinson's, took me to the best specialists, and accompanied me through various treatments. In my countless moments of breakdown, he quietly held me in his arms.
01:38I shut all my defenses, and buried myself deep in his embrace. Only then did I understand, the reason I kept pushing him away, wasn't because I didn't need him, but because I needed him too much. So much that I was afraid of losing him.
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