Iliza Shlesinger: War Paint | movie | 2013 | Official Trailer - video Dailymotion

Her innocent appearance is just a cover for Last Comic Standing winner Iliza Shlesinger's acerbic, stream-of-conscious c | dG1fajJnTkp6am9HeFk

Transcript

00:00I don't have an issue with flying. My issue is with the boarding of the plane.

00:06Has anyone else here ever had the misfortune of being stuck in boarding

00:10zone four? Like that's when you have a seat, you have a ticket because you're

00:15holding it but you're so low on the food chain it pretty much goes like first

00:18class, luggage, terrorists, maybe you. And they take such painstaking care to board

00:26zones one through three and if you don't fly that airline often enough you are

00:30SOL in terms of getting on that plane because they are boarding groups of

00:33people that you didn't even know you could apply to be part of. We're gonna

00:38start boarding flight 556 to Dallas Fort Worth. We're gonna start boarding zone one.

00:42These are our first class passengers, our first members, our gold members, our golden

00:45shower members. Our golden eagle members, our eagle face members. If you have an

00:52eagle face instead of a person face because you lost your face in some sort

00:57of horrible holiday turkey deep-fry accident you didn't have enough butt fat

01:00to get a nose grafted onto your face so you had to borrow one from an eagle so

01:03now you have a beak and you like to eat mice you can get on the plane. Boarding zone two.