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00:00¡Hola!
00:07These days I spend more and more time in my Wiltshire home
00:12and the pub I own
00:14thinking about all the big problems in the world
00:17and some smaller ones that annoy me
00:21Luckily there's a place I can go to solve them all
00:25or at least try
00:28my shed
00:30Right
00:31It's here that I have the tools
00:33Let's just saw some wood up
00:35the tea
00:37and a couple of other highly competent blokes
00:41Very good, brace yourself
00:43who've agreed to help me rid the world of problems
00:46Is she getting the ticket out?
00:47Great
00:48Dirty flight at us
00:50and small
00:51The cereal has gone soggy
00:53I'll also have to take on other people's problems
00:56What is wrong with Peter?
00:57He used to make a sound and now he doesn't
01:00By which I mean the locals at my pub
01:02who are always bringing me stuff to bend
01:04Is it a train set?
01:07So join us and our excitable crew
01:11Who will capture our endeavours
01:15That was epic
01:16As we create
01:18Make
01:20That feels like a terrible thing we've just done
01:22Repair
01:23So it's never worked
01:24Not in my lifetime
01:25And repurpose
01:26And repurpose
01:27In my shed load of ideas
01:33What do you think?
01:34This is just brilliant
01:44Here in Wiltshire
01:45I have time to reflect on those issues that concern us all
01:49Such as how to preserve this beautiful landscape
01:52The muse of England's poets and artists
01:56The rustling hedgerow
01:58The rustling hedgerow
01:59The delightful babbling brook
02:01And the abject weeping willow
02:03The heart of the idyll that nestles in the breast of every English man and woman
02:09Oh and the fly tipping site
02:11The blight of town and country alike
02:14These people disgust me
02:17There are over a million fly tipping incidents reported in the UK each year
02:22And they cost local authorities hundreds of millions of pounds to tidy up
02:28It's a huge problem
02:30But no problem is too huge for me
02:32And my two very handy right hand men
02:35My trusty engineer Sim with his big ideas
02:38Some kind of pivot from this point
02:41Anywhere between here and here
02:43And my ever ready carpenter
02:45Tony the tool
02:47Don't worry I'll just do everything over here
02:49You carry on chatting
02:51And so to my large and well equipped workshop
02:54Where the very practical magic happens
02:59So we've decided that our revenge on fly tippers should be poetic
03:03It is a fly trap or a fly tipper trap
03:06If you like taking our inspiration from good old school fly paper
03:12Which is this stuff
03:13It's really like a very big piece of sticky paper
03:16And you hang it up in your house
03:17Flies fly into it because they're stupid
03:19Their brains are absolutely minute
03:21And they stick to it
03:23Ha!
03:24And that's the end of them
03:25So we want to do something similar
03:27But that acts on human beings
03:29Which mean...
03:30God
03:31Which means we need a sticky substance
03:34That will trap them
03:36We'll leave Simmy to search for something sticky enough
03:39To catch our human flies
03:41As Tony and I move next door
03:43To start work on the actual trap
03:46Now we have to devise the trap itself
03:49How it will be...
03:50What would the trendy world be?
03:51Delivered
03:52It's Tony's idea
03:53So Tony will explain
03:55Collapsable cattle grid
03:58Oh!
03:59So we take a sheet of 8x4
04:01Yes
04:02We build a frame around it
04:04Two supports
04:07All our sticky stuff in the middle here
04:10Mm-hmm
04:11Box section
04:12Forming a grid
04:14Holes
04:17Attached by string
04:19Go into two pulleys
04:21And go that way to a single pulley
04:27With a mechanism that pulls and collapses
04:31Why is the cattle grid there?
04:32Is there a gate?
04:33To stop cattle
04:34No I know what it does
04:36But it's not
04:37Yes
04:38Usually you dump it
04:40Usually I've heard people who dump things
04:42Dump it in a field
04:44So the van pulls up
04:46People get out with the sofa
04:47Say
04:48And they walk across the cattle grid
04:49Which is positioned in front of a gate
04:51And therefore is perfectly normal
04:53Because you get cattle grids in front of gates
04:55They throw the sofa into the fly tipping area
04:59And it triggers a weighted mechanism
05:02And we haven't quite worked that bit out yet
05:03Have we?
05:04Which, through this pulley system
05:06concertinas the cattle grid
05:09Like a Venetian blind
05:10Exposing the sticky stuff
05:13The panicking fly tippers run back to their van through here
05:16And are stuck like flies on flypaper
05:19That's basically it, isn't it?
05:21Easy
05:22Right, so should we put this on the floor and do a bit of spacing out?
05:25Yeah
05:26Let's just rough it out
05:30Tony and I start laying out the steel rods that will eventually become our cattle grid
05:36How far apart are the rails of a cattle grid?
05:40Does it depend on what sort of animals you've got?
05:42Because cows have got bigger paws than sheep, haven't they?
05:46So obviously if you're making one for an elephant
05:48You could make them a little bit further apart
05:50Right, the dilemma is we have to balance authenticity, i.e. the spacing of the rails on the cattle grid
05:59With the requirements of the mechanism
06:02Because it's got to pull all these together over here
06:05It's quite a weight, isn't it?
06:07It's a lot of steel
06:08I think that gap is too big
06:10But it could be bigger than that one
06:11Which it will be when they're evenly spaced
06:13So there's no getting around this, Tony
06:15We're going to have to do a bit of arithmetic
06:17So, for our 1,220mm wide cattle grid
06:22We're going to need 10 bars, 107.7mm apart
06:27Yes, this is an exact science
06:30Oh, our arithmetic is spot on
06:33Well, nearly
06:35Nearly
06:37Okay, that's our cattle grid, correctly spaced out
06:42Come in with the sofa
06:47Yes, I think that's
06:49You'd walk across it carefully because there's a cattle grid
06:51Because you tend to walk carefully across a cattle grid
06:54I think, yes, I think we'll get away with that
06:57Let's mark out the board
06:59With the exact positions of our roofing battens
07:03We can fix those in place
07:05Mm-hmm
07:06And go from there
07:08Right, so the concept looks good
07:11We've just got to make the thing now
07:14First, Tony and I construct the wooden base frame
07:18Keeping a close eye on our maths
07:20Then we need a bit of help from Simi to cut the steel rods
07:26So that Tony and I can drill very precise holes into them
07:30Which we'll thread rope through to collapse the grid
07:33As long as we can keep up with Simi's exacting standards
07:36So put the hole in the middle, right?
07:39I mean, look at that
07:40How in the middle is that?
07:42All is proceeding at pace until...
07:45The problem is...
07:48Well, there's no easy way of putting this
07:49It's Tony
07:51Sim has spotted that the board isn't perfectly square
07:56It's just I didn't cut the factory edge off because we were rushing
07:59I'll just recut these
08:001,790 then
08:02Or thereabouts
08:04Thank you, Simi
08:06And once you've squared off our mistakes
08:08Tony and I thread the poles together with rope
08:10Which will make this cattle grid collapsible
08:13Ow!
08:14What have you done to that?
08:16We're going to have to flame it again
08:18And finally we get to see if our cunning concertina plan actually works
08:25In three...
08:26Two...
08:27One...
08:29Oh!
08:30That works!
08:31It's beauty!
08:32It doesn't need that much force either
08:34Collapsible cattle grid success
08:36But we still need to find some really sticky stuff to fill it with
08:40We also have to drill all the remaining pieces
08:42Devise the weighted mechanism that will close this
08:46And we have to take the whole thing to a secret location in the countryside
08:50Fill it with our gunk
08:52And then wait
08:56For now though, we take a break from our war against fly tippers
08:59For a well-earned pint
09:01And it's now, when I'm at the pub
09:03That people start bringing me their broken stuff that they want me to mend
09:07In fact, I'm so used to this
09:09I take my toolbox to the pub every time I go
09:13Hello!
09:14Hello, I'm Kirsty
09:15Hello Kirsty
09:16Hi!
09:17What have you got for us?
09:18So I have got my teddy bear Peter
09:20He's 53 years old
09:22Younger than me
09:24Definitely younger than me
09:26And apart from being utterly furless
09:30What is wrong with Peter?
09:32He used to make a sound sort of like a sheep
09:35And now he doesn't
09:36He's been in a loft for 35 plus years
09:40Poor sod
09:41Yeah
09:42Is it one of those where you do that?
09:44Yeah
09:45You can hear it?
09:47Oh yeah
09:48Whatever that is
09:49Something's moving
09:50What noise did it make?
09:51It was like a sheep
09:52Like a bar
09:53I think
09:54Well I do know somebody who used to run a thing called Teddy Bear Hospital
09:58And these old bears
09:59They've usually got a moving weight and some sort of bellows
10:02They used to be classified as squeakers and growlers
10:05Right
10:06One of them had a reed
10:08And the other one had
10:09Some kind of diaphragm
10:10Yeah
10:11Something like that
10:12So you want us to try and make the sound work again?
10:14If you could that would be lovely
10:16And you've had him since you were how old?
10:20Before I was born my grandmother gave it to my mother while she was pregnant with me
10:25So it predates you?
10:27Yeah
10:28The teddy was waiting for you as you popped out of the womb?
10:30He was
10:31And are these your initials?
10:33They are my initials yeah
10:34My mum stitched them in because he used to go everywhere with me
10:37I've got a picture of him actually
10:39Oh that's when he still had his fur
10:42Yeah
10:44And his head was on properly
10:45Yes
10:46At what point did Peter lose his speech?
10:50Hmm
10:51I have no idea
10:52He's travelled with me
10:54I was in the army
10:55And he came everywhere with me
10:57And then he ended up in a loft
11:01And I thought I'd lost him
11:04And then I got him back about three months ago
11:07And he doesn't make any sound
11:09How would you feel about us opening Peter up?
11:13That's fine
11:14Are you sure?
11:15Yeah
11:16We'll have to ask you to sign a consent form
11:18Absolutely
11:19And a do not resuscitate
11:21Oh look there is my special super power magnifying spectacles
11:25And there is a scalpel
11:28Has this been opened before?
11:30Not that I know of no
11:31How are you feeling about this Kirsty?
11:33I'm slightly nervous
11:35Whoop
11:36Oh
11:37Swab
11:38We found something that has not been exposed to the light since the early 1970s
11:43Can I put my finger in?
11:44You might want to look away
11:46I am
11:47My god it's huge
11:49We need a bigger hole
11:51We need a bigger hole
11:52I'm actually getting nervous
11:54Here it comes
11:56Come on then
12:05Is that the noise it used to make?
12:07Slightly
12:09But longer?
12:10Longer, yeah
12:11I'm seeing you afford him some dignity
12:13Oh sorry
12:14We'll put him in the recovery position
12:17OK we will take this back to the workshop Kirsty
12:20We will mend it, reinsert it in the bowels of Peter
12:25Simi will stitch him back together
12:27He will be returned to you growling as he did in your youth
12:31And you will never know and neither will he that anything had ever happened
12:35Excellent
12:36Either that or it will go wrong and we'll chuck him on the bonfire
12:40Please don't
12:42Will we be able to perform this important and life-saving operation?
12:47Will Peter growl again?
13:12Ah Wiltshire, the beautiful countryside
13:15But did you know that every 27 seconds somebody ruins it by fly tipping
13:20Causing damage to farmland and wildlife
13:24Luckily Tony, Simi and I have come up with a cunning plan involving a collapsible cattle grid
13:30That will expose a sticky substance beneath to stop our fly tippers in their tracks
13:36Now we just have to select our gunk
13:39Thank you
13:42The options we have arrived at are corn flour, epoxy resin and this one which is a mastic
13:50So it remains plastic and sticky, is that right?
13:54Yeah
13:55What should we try, should we try corn flour?
13:58I mean corn flour isn't it thixotropic so if they run across a corn flour mix quickly they will simply
14:03Go across it
14:04Go across it
14:05Go across it, but if they amble across it
14:06Yes they will sink
14:07How much should we put in?
14:09Let's put it all in
14:10Do you think?
14:11Yeah
14:12The corn flour is weird stuff I think, I don't like using it in the kitchen
14:19It's useful though
14:20It is useful, I mean it's a crafty way to thicken up your cheese sauce
14:24That is quite, so it's solid
14:27But if you put gentle pressure you're sick
14:31Oh yeah
14:32It's quite nice actually
14:34And then it just goes liquid
14:37The trouble with this, it's so much fun you'd find millions of fly tippers just frolicking in your corn flour
14:42This corn flour and water goo is non-Newtonian, meaning it doesn't follow Newton's laws, as it can act as both a solid and a liquid
14:53And handily for us, this ambiguity makes it very sticky
14:58Shall we put it on the floor and put some shoe covers on, who wants to try?
15:01We can try one each
15:03After you
15:04I'll do this one then so
15:06Make sure you use the right foot
15:15Yeah, good thinking Batman
15:17So you've thrown your sofa away, or your fridge, or whatever
15:20Fly tips, nobody saw that, I'm off
15:27It's not very good
15:29What's the drag on your foot there?
15:31No, it's pretty grippy
15:34But I don't know that you'll necessarily get stuck
15:36The idea is that the fly tipper is stuck to the fly tipper trap
15:40I mean, let's reserve judgement until we've tried a few other things
15:45Shall we try the mast stick?
15:47So it never sets
15:48No
15:49It remains plastic in the true sense, and hopefully quite sticky
15:53Shall I?
15:54Yes, carry on
15:59It looks sticky
16:00It does look sticky
16:02This particular mast stick forms an elastic, watertight sealant
16:06That sticks firmly to wood, metal, concrete, and, we hope, humans
16:13This smells fantastic
16:15Has anybody got any Bob Dylan records?
16:19Right
16:20Whose turn is it to try?
16:22Are you gonna do it Tony?
16:23Yeah
16:24Yeah, go on Tony
16:25Are you gonna put both feet in?
16:28Yeah, I don't wanna get splashes on my trainers
16:31So, remember to method act
16:38What are you dumping Tony?
16:39A telly
16:40A telly, okay
16:41Whoa, he's done that before
16:43Whoa!
16:44Whoa!
16:45Hey, that looked like it could be quite good
16:49Wow
16:50It's slippy as well
16:51Really slippy
16:53That's really sticky
16:54Oh, that's pretty good
16:56That's very good
16:57It's very good
16:58So, the mastic works
17:00But because Simmy hates to feel left out
17:02We decide to let him test the epoxy resin option
17:06Also, he's got a bit of a thing about shoe covers
17:08You ready, Sim?
17:09Right
17:10With your big fridge, and action
17:11I've got my fridge
17:12Over the hedge it goes
17:14Oh, ****
17:16That's not very good
17:20It's not very good
17:21It's not very good, is it?
17:22It's also all over the floor
17:23It is all over the floor
17:24We need to get off the floor
17:25It's very slippery
17:27So, that's not ideal, is it?
17:29No
17:30It's rubbish
17:32So, to conclude this scene, men
17:35Because we've wanted to do it
17:37You have one
17:38Are you ready?
17:39In
17:40Three
17:41Two
17:42One
17:47The mastic is a clear winner
17:49It's the stickiest
17:50Yeah
17:51That we agreed
17:52Absolutely
17:53Right, so that's what we'll do
17:55Once that sticky mastic is added to our cattle grid flytrap
18:00We may just be able to protect rural littles up and down the country
18:04From the blight of fly tipping
18:06But there's another danger threatening the countryside
18:10And that's the worrying demise of pub games
18:13As a landlord myself, I'm not keen on fruit machines
18:17And dreary pub quizzes
18:19But what about revisiting one of the old standards?
18:24Oh!
18:25Oh!
18:26The game of darts, it's essential to the formation of England's character
18:32Because without our prowess at darts we wouldn't have been good at archery
18:36And defeated the French at Agincourt, for example
18:39Now this is a standard dartboard
18:41Probably the one you're familiar with
18:42It's got doubles on the outside, trebles on the inner ring
18:45And then a bull and a double bull
18:47But there are other types of dartboard
18:49For example, there is a Yorkshire dartboard
18:51Which only has the doubles
18:53And then there's a Manchester dartboard
18:55Which has the numbers in a different order
18:57There's also a Bath dartboard
18:59Which has some extra scoring areas around the outside
19:03And so on and so on
19:04Wiltshire does not have its own dartboard
19:07So we thought maybe we'd come up with one
19:10What do you think, Tony?
19:12Uh, yeah
19:14What would you do, though?
19:16When I was a kid, me and my brother used to play drop darts
19:20Where you put the dartboard on the floor
19:22We actually used to do it out of the bedroom window
19:25With the dartboard down below in the garden
19:28Let's try holding it by the...
19:31Oh, shot! Is it in?
19:33No, it's 25
19:35Miles off
19:37Yeah
19:38I mean...
19:40It involves a lot of bending down, though
19:43What if the dartboard starts rotating?
19:47Imagine how difficult it would be to throw at a rotating darts board
19:51Yeah
19:52That'd be... Yeah, we could do that
19:54That'd be fun
19:56Obviously, because we are, in fact, engineers
20:00We need to test out the concept
20:02OK, so stand on the ocky, but about two feet back from the ocky
20:08Oh, I don't want to throw a dart at you like that
20:10No, no
20:11Oh!
20:12You ready?
20:15You having a laugh?
20:16No
20:17Yes, three on the board
20:23OK, now it's my turn
20:32Crap rolling
20:33Crap rolling
20:34It's supposed to go...
20:35You deflected it with your first dart
20:37So, the rotation idea works, but not rolling the board
20:41Now we need Simi's help to try and make the board rotate in space
20:46Shall we have a beer?
20:47Good idea
20:48While Tony and I head off for a pint
20:51Simi throws himself into creating a mechanism that will rotate our Wiltshire dartboard
20:57First, he attaches a rotary switch to a wooden frame
21:01And then he rigs up a variable speed controller
21:05Before, after a quick swig
21:09Soldering together a small motor with a manual switch
21:13Then he attaches a battery
21:15Has another essential beer break
21:17And finally tests the rotating mechanism that will eventually attach to the dartboard
21:23Which we'll try out later
21:25Once Simi's joined us in the garden for another pint
21:28Exciting
21:35You find me back in my Wiltshire pub
21:42And for good reason
21:44There isn't enough entertainment in the pub
21:46Especially since I've banned Morris dancers and minstrels
21:49So we're looking at how to refresh the greatest of all pub games
21:56With the introduction of the Wiltshire dartboard
21:59Allow me to show it to you
22:01Here it is, hanging on the wall at the regulation height
22:04With the 20 at the top
22:06Where you'd expect
22:07My two players, if you'd like to take the occi
22:09Gentlemen
22:11And you will remember where you were when you first saw this
22:15Because the game of darts was changed forever
22:19There it goes
22:21The rotating Wiltshire dartboard
22:25Doesn't look like much but it makes the game extremely difficult
22:29And let's be honest
22:30It wasn't easy to start with
22:32We're playing highest score three darts
22:34Your throw sir
22:35It's making me dizzy
22:36Here's the 20 but it's going round and round you see
22:38Because it's the Wiltshire dartboard
22:40Rubbish
22:41Oh he's going for the bull
22:43Oh it's tricky
22:4443
22:4512
22:47Oh
22:4819
22:49Oh
22:51Rubbish
22:52James come on
22:53Do your best
22:58Oh
23:00And again
23:0134
23:03Yeah
23:04Oh
23:05No
23:06No
23:07Right I'm speeding it up for round two
23:08Oh
23:09Oh
23:10Yes
23:11Wow
23:12Shall we reverse
23:13Oh
23:14Oh
23:15He's got 60
23:16Oh
23:17I didn't believe I missed the ball James
23:18I've only got this one left
23:19And I have to score 29 or more
23:21Oh
23:22Oh
23:23I didn't believe I missed the ball James
23:25I've only got this one left
23:26And I have to score 29 or more
23:27Oh
23:28Oh
23:29Oh
23:30Oh
23:31Oh
23:32Oh
23:33Oh
23:34Oh
23:35Oh
23:36Oh
23:37Oh
23:38Oh
23:40That means the winner is Sim
23:41Ah
23:42He he he he
23:43But this invention wasn't meant just to entertain the three of us
23:47It has to work on the seething roaring mass that is the general public
23:52Let's see if any of the locals would like to play Wiltshire darts
23:59Hmm no
24:00It's not looking good
24:02Well yes you're right
24:04Not ideal
24:05It's not good it's 24
24:07But that's nothing
24:10At least I tried
24:11At least I tried
24:15Five
24:17Six
24:19Ten
24:20Congratulations
24:21That's a truly terrible
24:26Eight
24:28Oh dear
24:29That's 17 sir
24:30That's 17 sir
24:31That's very poor
24:32Hope you don't mind me saying
24:34Scores may be low but the game is a huge hit with the regulars and also it turns out with our film crew with producer Lucy very keen to play
24:44You've thrown it away
24:48As everybody rushes to stand in front of the board for their own safety it's probably time to sum this up
24:54I'm not entirely sure what to say about Wiltshire darts apart from that it's excellent
24:58Thank you for watching
24:59Thank you for watching
25:02That's one successful step along the path to revitalize British pub entertainment and I've got plenty more ideas up my sleeve
25:10But now we must return to the pressing matter of Kirsty's bear who after years in the loft
25:17Has lost his growl and Simi and I have been entrusted with the weighty task of giving Peter his voice back
25:24Right viewers, our mission today is to provide Peter the bear beloved of Kirsty with a more impressive one of those
25:35According to Kirsty it was originally louder and longer and we may be able to improve the sound as well
25:42We've never done this before, oddly
25:48First we need to remove Peter's growl box to see how it works
25:52What if we made that just twice as long and this twice as long and then you'd get a longer
26:04So it is, it's like, oh god
26:09It's got a very simple reed there, similar to something you would find in a crude musical instrument
26:16And this seems to be some sort of very very simple amplifier
26:20We could remake that
26:23Bigger
26:24Much bigger
26:25And much longer
26:27There's a lot of room
26:28There's tons of room, it could go right down to his
26:30And up to his neck
26:32So we could, you know, we could put an enormous growler in there
26:39Yes
26:41Right, that's the plan
26:42We're going to remake it, bigger and better, which in terms of a teddy bear growl means longer
26:50To see if we can give Peter a larger, longer growl, Sim and I want to see what happens when we elongate the sandbox's journey
26:59By throwing it down the longest tube we can find
27:02Three metres of cylindrical polyvinyl chloride
27:04Is everybody ready?
27:06Also known as ur-drain pipe
27:08Let her go
27:11Er
27:14Erm
27:16I think it needs to be totally upright
27:18I think it needs to be totally upright
27:28That was epic!
27:30Nice!
27:31Are you trying with the shorter length?
27:33Yes!
27:34So Peter's growler needs to be...
27:36Yeah, okay
27:38Now we've established how big we can make Peter's new growler, we cut it to size
27:43Let's just see how long a growl we get
27:47It's got to be a bit safer than that
27:52To slow the movement of the growler and thus lengthen the growl
27:57We need some sort of fabric cap with holes punched through
28:01That's a bit on the wonk, isn't it?
28:04I mean, it doesn't matter
28:06I mean, no one's ever going to see it because it's going to be deep in Peter's bowel
28:09Apart from all the people watching it on the television, obviously
28:13I think to get a result we need to tape this on to the end
28:17To seal that one end
28:19The noise goes in that way?
28:20Yeah
28:24Why how could that...
28:34Is there a plan B at this point?
28:36No
28:39Okay
28:42Anyway, we're not going to give up
28:44Luckily, Simi, Everett the Optimist, has an idea that might help create the sound
28:50And it involves a pair of black rubber gloves
28:53We're making a replacement bellow
28:56The old one is rather elaborate
29:00We're not sure what material it is
29:02It's almost like a waxed paper
29:05But it has been ironed
29:07So that it has effectively a helix in it
29:11So it's ironed in two directions
29:14So it's got ridges on the outside and the inside
29:17But that seems unnecessarily complicated in a world of modern materials such as rubber gloves
29:22So we're making it out of the rubber glove
29:23The theory here is that the rubber glove should fill with air and force it past the reed which makes the sound
29:33Okay, are we ready?
29:34Are we ready?
29:35I'm slightly...
29:47How can that not work?
29:49The addition of the bellows has made...
29:52Let's have a look
29:54The growlers stick in the tube
29:56Oh, is that what it's saying?
29:57That's so feeble
30:04Situation update on Peter the teddy bear
30:07Situation update is that since Peter the bear was admitted to our bear growler hospital
30:14His condition has deteriorated quite significantly
30:18Some of his stuffing has come out
30:21He's got a massive wound in his spine and his voice doesn't work anymore
30:25But apart from that...
30:26It's not easy, is it?
30:28I hate this bear
30:31So our attempts at repairing Peter's existing growl box have run adrift
30:37But we can't let Kirsty and her precious bear down
30:40And so, after some deliberation
30:43Sim and I decide that desperate times call for desperate measures
30:47Are you sitting comfortably, children?
30:50Kirsty had a very special bear called Peter
30:53And Peter could growl like a proper grown-up bear
30:57But one day, Peter's growl failed
31:00And Kirsty sent poor Peter to Simeon James to be repaired
31:05It's proved rather difficult because Peter's reed is bent and worn out
31:10His bellows have perished
31:12But of course you know all that, children
31:14Because you've been on this incredible adventure with us
31:17But now, Simi and James have had to do something they've never done before on this show
31:23Which is, order a spare part and fit that instead
31:27Here it is, commercially available growler from a bear specialist
31:33Peter can growl again
31:35And now, Mr Oakley the surgeon is going to sew it into Peter
31:42And nobody need ever know
31:46It's our secret
31:48There you go Sim
31:50Thank you very much
31:52Once Simi has sewn up, the patient will send him to convalesce
31:55The bear, I mean
31:57Before returning him to Kirsty
31:59As good as new
32:01Well, almost
32:06You rejoin us in Wiltshire
32:08Where I'm coming up with ideas to solve problems big and small that bother us all
32:13Whether that's flytippers ruining the glorious countryside
32:16Or that your lunch is just lacking that certain something
32:21We have identified a problem
32:24Which is that you go out to a pub or a restaurant and you have some food
32:26And it's all jolly now
32:28But you think, I'd like a little bit of garnish on that
32:30What if you could take the garnish with you
32:33And then you could garnish whatever it was you were eating
32:36Wherever?
32:38So we thought, why not incorporate them into an item of clothing
32:41To wit, a hat
32:43You see, this rests very conveniently on your head
32:46If the brim were full of soil and herbs
32:49You could merely pluck one
32:51And add it to your cheesy pasta
32:53So, join me as we make the world's first
32:59Herb hat
33:04This is harder than it looks
33:06The problem I'm experiencing is that the brim of the hat is not as deep as the
33:12Typical English garden herb bed
33:16So maybe we need to get rid of some bigger
33:19And maybe make the soil a bit wetter
33:21But don't I have to retain the root?
33:23Yes, but if you just
33:25So if we get rid of those boys
33:27And keep that one in its root
33:29What, and discard those?
33:31I think snip that off
33:32I always have my comedy carrot-shaped Japanese scissors in my pocket
33:36Fortunately
33:38Let's nip those off
33:40We're now getting somewhere with the herb hat
33:43Compacted soil
33:45And a sprig of basil
33:47I've been in television quite a long time now
33:49I think it's about 25 years
33:51And because I understand the basics of television
33:54I know that we're going to skip forward to a comedy shot of me approaching my own pub
33:57With a hat full of herbs on my head
33:58And here I am
34:04Afternoon
34:05Afternoon
34:06Hamming and chips
34:07Yes
34:08Epic
34:10Nice hat James
34:11Thank you
34:12Yeah, you're rocking that
34:16Sorry
34:18It was a bit of a breeze
34:21Would you like some
34:23Garni?
34:24Have you got any coriander?
34:25I have
34:26I believe it's there, isn't it?
34:28Yes
34:29May I?
34:30Yes, of course
34:31Here are the exquisite Japanese scissors
34:37Sim, anything you'd like?
34:38A little basil would be nice
34:40Basil is...
34:42Can Tony reach that?
34:44Is that enough?
34:46I think, ham, egg and chips
34:48I would like...
34:50I'd like a few chives on the eggs and the chips
34:53Allow me
34:56Here you go
34:58Thanks awfully
34:59What do you think of my hat?
35:01I mean, be honest
35:02Well, honest
35:03Yeah, yeah
35:05I mean, you look like words of gummage, but...
35:07It's a bit Morrie style to see, isn't it?
35:09It's exactly very useful
35:11It's a top hat
35:13See what I did there?
35:17I'd say this works
35:20It's a little uncomfortable, but it's very achievable at home
35:22All you need is a hat
35:24Some nutrient rich soil
35:27Some herbs
35:29A low sense of self esteem
35:33Robert's your mother's brother
35:35Next
35:37Spice shoes
35:38Shoes
35:39No, that's ridiculous
35:41Shoes covered in spices would just look stupid
35:44Meanwhile, here are some lovely shots of the Wiltshire countryside
35:49And we're hoping to keep it that way
35:51With our cunning invention to stop the curse of fly tipping
35:55We return to the fly tipper fly trap
36:01Fly tipping is becoming a blight
36:03In the countryside we have devised a way of catching people in the act
36:07It is essentially a fly trap
36:08It's based on the idea of a retracting cattle grid that exposes a very sticky substance that traps the miscreants
36:16So that they can be apprehended and then they can pay their debt to society
36:21Now in a previous instalment we proved the principle of the retracting cattle grid
36:26And now we've set it up in this fly tipping area
36:29It's already full of junk, it's a very popular location, you know, saw horses, old records, players, speakers, badminton bats and so on
36:36And amongst it is a fairly typical old bicycle
36:40Or is it? No, it isn't
36:42It is actually the trigger mechanism for the whole thing
36:45Let me explain to you how it works
36:47When our fly tippers approach, they walk over the cattle grid which is closed and it's outside a gate
36:51They suspect nothing and they lob whatever it is
36:54Their bread maker, whatever, over here
36:57And it hits this trigger string
36:59This trigger string, via this pulley here
37:02Pulls on this hinged piece of wood
37:07Which releases the front brake of the bicycle
37:11The front wheel, now free to rotate
37:13Begins to rotate under the tension of this bungee cord
37:17Until the sledgehammer, which is attached to the wheel
37:20Passes top dead centre
37:22And then gravity does its work
37:24The rotation of the wheel and the extra torque provided by the sledgehammer
37:29Operates this pulley system, which retracts the cattle grid
37:33They think we got away with that, run away, stuck, we turn up with clubs and beat them to death
37:38Now, we're going to test this out with some fictitious fly tippers
37:40This is not real, this is a set up
37:42But me, Tony and Simi, to see if it works, are going to watch from over there, behind the wall
37:48If you didn't understand the explanation, don't worry, we're filming it all with little cameras
37:52And we'll do a slow motion action replay
37:55And you can see it all working in graphic detail
37:58Right, are we ready?
38:00Let's prime the trap
38:01So, a few redesigned and repurposed bits of junk could, if we got our calculations correct, trigger our trap and catch some fly tippers in the world's first ever fly tipping fly trap
38:17It's quite sticky
38:19Patent pending
38:21Right, I think we can go and hide
38:31So, the trap is set, and as if by magic, a mysterious van pulls up
38:41Oh, he's stopping
38:43He is, he is
38:45He's got to be one
38:47That's a really tatty van, that's always a sign
38:49He's getting out
38:51Oh, they've got hoodies on
38:53Oh, look at them, dirty fly tippers
38:55Yes, dirty fly tippers that do look remarkably like members of our crew
38:59What is it? What is it? Washing machine?
39:02It's a bloody mattress
39:04Oh
39:06Over the kettle grid door
39:08There you go
39:09Yes, yes, yes, oh
39:20Yes
39:25Gotcha
39:27That's so good
39:30Pedaling works
39:32Oi, fly tippers
39:34You're in a fly trap and you're going down
39:39Oh, well done then, that is fantastic
39:42That was good job
39:43That's an absurd idea, but it works
39:46And as promised, here it is in glorious slow motion
39:50It may be a prototype, but the principle is sound
39:53Fly tippers can be caught like flies in a trap
39:55Y eso es ingeniería y poética suceso.
40:04Así que hemos solucionado flytipping, pub entertainment, garnición en el move...
40:09...pero hemos realmente dificultado a tratar de resolver Peter the Bear...
40:13...y su growler no era más fito para el purpose.
40:16No imaginé que me hubiera involucrado en el repair de Teddy Bear.
40:21...y no era tan bien, no era tan bien.
40:26No teddies.
40:27No un teddy bear.
40:28Lo que un pain.
40:29...y estará muy feliz a ver el back de él.
40:31Oh, I miss Peter.
40:33...y se ve el back de él ahora.
40:35No sé cómo se va a reactirar cuando...
40:37...mendemos que no se hagan mendiéndole a él.
40:39¿Qué pasa si se le traje uno?
40:41No creo que se va.
40:43¿Va a pensar?
40:44No.
40:45Lo que hemos hecho aquí es un trasplante.
40:47Y un successful uno.
40:49...y es realmente el cutting edge de Teddy Bear medicine.
40:58Hello.
40:59Hello.
41:00Hello.
41:01Have a seat.
41:02Nice to see you again.
41:03Hi.
41:04Here is Roger.
41:05Peter.
41:06Hi.
41:07Hi.
41:08Have you missed him?
41:09I've missed him a lot.
41:10Have you?
41:11I have.
41:12It's strange.
41:13We've become very familiar with Peter.
41:15He's been a constant lurking presence in our lives.
41:18And looked after very carefully, of course.
41:21I'm glad.
41:22I'm glad you did.
41:23Well, do you want to know what we've done?
41:24Yes, please.
41:25Well, Simi began the quite difficult operation with a long incision down his spine.
41:30Yeah.
41:31And then we successfully removed his growler.
41:33Yes.
41:34And that's where things became a bit difficult.
41:36It had sort of disintegrated a bit.
41:38Yeah.
41:39And his growl wasn't very strong anymore.
41:41No.
41:42No.
41:43And we looked at making a longer tube and a bigger bellows.
41:46We tried various fabrics.
41:48We tried a rubber glove.
41:49Sounds a bit complicated.
41:50It was complicated.
41:51He was on the table for hours and at one point we thought we might lose him.
41:57Eventually, we consulted, well, a consultant teddy bear surgeon.
42:03Yeah.
42:04Who said, I'm afraid he had to have a new growler.
42:07So, he's had a transplant.
42:11Okay.
42:12But if you'd like to tip him on his back.
42:22Oh, it's the same.
42:24It sounds exactly the same.
42:30Oh, it does.
42:32It sounds exactly the same.
42:33If you tip him right back and wait for a bit for sort of the...
42:37Okay.
42:38...browler to extend.
42:39And then...
42:42It sounds just like a telephone.
42:46Good, so you're pleased.
42:47Very pleased.
42:48Thank you so much.
42:51Oh, that's so good.
42:53Well, I'm delighted that you're pleased.
42:55I'm very pleased.
42:56Because I thought I'd lost him for a long, long time.
42:58And now he sounds exactly like he did when I was a child.
43:01So...
43:03Yeah.
43:04He's quite emotional.
43:07Well, you can take him back to your home and enjoy the rest of your lives together.
43:12I will.
43:13Thank you so much.
43:14It's really appreciated.
43:15That's okay.
43:16It's a pleasure.
43:17Thank you.
43:18Thank you very much.
43:19Thank you.
43:20Bye.
43:21Bye.
43:22Can you see her? She's properly delighted.
43:27That bear is loved.
43:30And if we as humanity could love each other the way Kirsty loves that bear,
43:34everything would be okay.
43:37Apart from for me.
43:52you can see the next day.
43:53I'll be right back home.
43:54See you next week.
43:56Bye.
43:57Bye.
43:58Bye.
43:59Bye.
44:00Bye.
44:02Bye.
44:03Bye.
44:06Bye.
44:08Bye.
44:09Bye.
44:10Bye.
44:11Bye.
44:12Bye.
44:14Bye.
44:16Bye.
44:17Bye.
44:19Bye.
44:20Bye.
44:21Bye.
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