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  • 2 days ago
Not everyone is as competent as the Skywalkers in the galaxy far, far away...
Transcript
00:00From clueless background characters to bafflingly misplaced antagonists,
00:04Star Wars certainly has no shortage of pointless and useless characters.
00:09And that's what we're here to talk about today. I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com,
00:12and these are the 8 most useless Star Wars characters.
00:168. The Emperor's Royal Guards
00:18Although they certainly look intimidating, the Emperor's Royal Guards are rather pointless,
00:24at least in the original trilogy. First appearing in Return of the Jedi,
00:28these Imperial Guards did virtually nothing other than stand in the corner of the second Death Star's
00:33throne room and then promptly leave on their master's request, ultimately doing nothing to
00:37stop the Emperor's demise at the hands of a redeemed Anakin Skywalker. Now, saying that,
00:42these Guards get a much better treatment in the other pieces of Star Wars media,
00:45particularly the Star Wars Legends continuity. Obviously, these Guards exist to protect Palpatine
00:50and his identity as a Sith Lord. Since the Emperor can't go around personally killing his enemies,
00:55as Palpatine wanted to hide his Sith mastery from the galaxy.
00:58During the Galactic Civil War, a group of Guards killed a large number of spies,
01:02and were also instrumental in snuffing out traitors in the Empire, lent by Grand Moff Trakta,
01:07who conspired to kill the Emperor. Even so, the Emperor's Imperial Guards remained the silent
01:12protectors of their master, but unfortunately didn't do much in terms of actual protection.
01:17In Star Wars Rebels, the young Jedi, Ezra Bridger, quickly disposes of a group of Imperial Guards
01:22after he refuses to help Palpatine gain control of the world between worlds,
01:26proving just how ineffective they can be.
01:287. Zam Wessel
01:30Zam Wessel was a bounty hunter who was tasked to assassinate Padme Amidala by Jango Fett.
01:35However, her assassination attempt and subsequent escape were foiled by Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan
01:40Kenobi, mostly because of the moronic decisions that Zam made. To start, Zam uses some poisonous bugs
01:47to secretly enter Amidala's room through a window in an attempt to kill the Senator. Since Amidala's
01:52quarters were heavily monitored by a significant security force, including two Jedi, it's rather
01:57confusing why the assassin chose to attempt to infiltrate her bedroom with the bugs rather than
02:01just shooting the Senator with a projectile rifle from the safety of an adjacent building or something
02:05like that. Moreover, rather than moving into a better position to shoot the Senator after the
02:10bugs had been killed, Zam instead chooses to destroy the droid which Obi-Wan was holding onto and then flee in
02:16her speeder. Stranger yet, Zam also made no use of her advantages during her escape from Anakin and
02:22Obi-Wan. Being a Claudite, she has the ability to shapeshift into anything or anyone, so when she
02:28runs into a bar after crashing her speeder, it's fair to assume that she would just shapeshift into
02:32somebody else and hide in plain sight from the Jedi. However, Zam stays in the same recognisable form
02:37and worse yet, attempts to gun down Anakin rather than discreetly just escaping the bar.
02:42With these constant, stupid decisions, it's no wonder that Fett would go out of his way to kill
02:47Zam for her incompetence.
02:496. The Emperor's Advisors
02:51The Emperor's Advisors may be the only characters in Star Wars that, if they were removed entirely from
02:57the franchise, absolutely nothing would be different. Appearing alongside the Royal Guards in Return of
03:02the Jedi, the Emperor's Advisors offered nothing other than following the Emperor around and
03:06occasionally spoke with him off-screen. Oddly enough, these Advisors only appear in a few throwaway scenes in
03:11Return of the Jedi before they vanish from the story and are presumed dead when the Rebels destroy the
03:16Death Star. Like every other minor Star Wars character, these Advisors are given a proper story
03:20and explanation in the expanded universe. During the invasion of Naboo, a group of Senators formed an
03:25inner circle around Senator Palpatine and were drawn closer to him during the last few years of the
03:30Republic. By the creation of the Empire, these Senators, now called Palpatine's Advisors, were given
03:35bureaucratic responsibilities, such as overseeing the Empire's administration, with some even scouring the
03:41galaxy for Sith artifacts. Still, none of these characters exist in the films, with the Advisors instead
03:47being rendered as nothing more than creepy followers of the Emperor wearing strange purple robes.
03:525. Virtually Every Imperial Officer
03:55Now, unfortunately for Vader, basically every one of his underlings are, well, completely useless. The Empire's
04:01officers and admirals can't seem to make any decision that will lead to an Imperial victory, just going
04:05from blunder to blunder. Peter Cushing played the villainous Grand Moff Tarkin in A New Hope,
04:10and although Cushing brought in authoritative intimidation to the role, Tarkin is as short-sighted
04:15as he is evil. After the events of Rogue One, the Death Star plans have been stolen by the Rebels,
04:20with Tarkin assuming the Rebels would analyze the plans to find any weaknesses in the superweapon that
04:25they could exploit. But instead of analyzing the Death Star for any potential weakness,
04:28Tarkin instead did nothing to ensure the safety of the battle station, which would eventually become
04:33his downfall. A New Hope also saw the likes of Molkive Wormis, who oversaw the attack on Tantive
04:384 at the beginning of the film. But for some reason, Wormis chose not to destroy the escape pod
04:43that C-3PO and R2-Dito were hiding in, justifying it that there were no life-form readings coming from
04:48the pod. It was a strange choice for the commander to disallow the destruction of the escape pod,
04:53since destroying it was an easy task to perform and had no drawbacks at all in firing on the pod.
04:57However, by choosing not to fire, he allowed the Death Star plans to slip through the Empire's fingers
05:02and ultimately was somewhat responsible for the Death Star's destruction.
05:06In The Empire Strikes Back, we also got to see Admiral Ozel, who ignored Vader's request to bring
05:11the Imperial invasion fleet out of hyperspace away from Hoth, and so alerted the Rebels' defense
05:16measures, who were then able to activate the planetary shield. By coming out of hyperspace too close
05:22to Hoth, this boneheaded decision prevented the Imperial Navy from bombarding the planet from the
05:26comfort of space, and so lost the Empire the chance of destroying the whole Rebellion with ease.
05:324. Claude
05:33One of the strangest characters introduced in The Rise of Skywalker was Claude. Claude is a mechanic
05:39who was on board the Millennium Falcon during a Resistance mission to the Sinter Glacier Colony
05:43to gain intel from a First Order spy. After the Falcon was attacked by TIE fighters during the mission,
05:48Claude took it upon himself to fix the ship as best and as quickly as possible. Apart from having only a few
05:53seconds of screen time, what makes Claude so useless is his design. Being a mechanic, it's essential to
05:59have arms to repair and replace ship parts and other devices. Bafflingly, though, Claude has no arms,
06:04and he's only shown to stare at the sparking mechanisms on the Falcon closely, before the
06:08camera quickly pans away from him, leaving the audience completely perplexed as to how an armless
06:13alien will repair the Millennium Falcon. He might be able to move things with telekinesis, but there's
06:17still a lot that he won't be able to do on the ship, or that will require intense concentration and show
06:22limits to his powers, meaning that unfortunately, as much beloved as he is by the fans for his
06:26ridiculous design, he's probably quite useless in his actual job role.
06:303. The Knights of Ren
06:32Apart from Supreme Leader Snoke, the Knights of Ren became a hot topic when they were introduced in
06:37The Force Awakens. The film only contained a short scene with the group, as well as briefly mentioning
06:42them occasionally during its runtime, and so it was up to the following two pictures to explain and
06:47expand on these mysterious warriors. However, what we got was anything but satisfying. The group
06:52didn't appear at all in The Last Jedi, and their inclusion in The Rise of Skywalker contributed
06:57nothing more than a brief fight with a redeemed Ben Solo. Whilst their live-action appearances are
07:02substandard, the group is significantly expanded on through the Star Wars comic book lines.
07:07The comics reveal that the Knights of Ren had existed long before the First Order and were prevalent during
07:12the Imperial Era, though this was a different group than the warriors we see in the sequels.
07:16The Knights were infamous throughout the galaxy, pillaging every planet they visited,
07:21and were known to be dark side practitioners, with the group eventually being hired by the crime
07:25syndicate Crimson Dawn to challenge Vader and Sidious. Even so, the film demonstrates just how
07:30useless the Knights of Ren are. Other than temporarily capturing Chewbacca, the Knights failed to seize the
07:36crew of the Falcon during the events of The Rise of Skywalker, and finally died at the hands of a
07:40redeemed Kylo, achieving absolutely nothing throughout the sequel trilogy.
07:442. Captain Phasma
07:46When Game of Thrones actress Gwendolyn Christie signed on to play a villain in the sequel trilogy,
07:51it rightly generated a lot of anticipation amongst Star Wars fans. Ultimately, though,
07:56Captain Phasma had no more than a few minutes of screen time across The Force Awakens and The Last
08:00Jedi, in which we learn absolutely nothing substantial about the character before she was
08:05quickly killed off. In an interview with The Times in 2018, Christie revealed that there were no solid plans
08:10to include Phasma in the last installment of the sequel trilogy, much to her dismay. As she
08:14detailed,
08:15In truth, I don't know, and that scares and upsets me because I really want to see this character
08:19explored. I'm actually very invested in the character now. Since Phasma was excluded from
08:24The Rise of Skywalker, her arch-enemy stormtrooper defector Finn had no stake in the plot, with his
08:29character being also rendered virtually meaningless without having Phasma to go up against. Whether she was
08:34included in Episode IX or not, Gwendolyn Christie deserved far more than just standing around,
08:39snarling at Finn for just a brief amount of time before being bested in a very quick fight with
08:44the Resistance hero.
08:451. Supreme Leader Snoke
08:48Easily the most useless character in Star Wars, Supreme Leader Snoke had virtually no positive
08:53attributes. When The Force Awakens was released in 2015, fans were gripped by this mysterious ruler
08:58of the First Order, and were quick to start speculating about who the character really was.
09:03Some believed that he was Darth Plagueis, Palpatine's old Sith master, whilst others believed that he was
09:08a bitter, failed clone of Luke Skywalker, or possibly even a vengeful Mace Windu. So, come the theatrical
09:14release of The Last Jedi in 2017, fans were hugely disappointed to learn nothing about Snoke,
09:19who was abruptly killed off without addressing anything to do with the character. In a 2021
09:23interview with CinemaBlend, Andy Serkis, Snoke's actor, voiced his own disappointment with the
09:28character. Serkis said,
09:30I was devastated when I read that script because it was going so well. I was like,
09:34man, this is a boss character. I'm gonna love playing- oh, what? You're kidding me, what?
09:38I was like, okay, is this a good idea?
09:41In The Rise of Skywalker, Snoke is revealed to have been a puppet of the undead Emperor Palpatine,
09:46who had been ruling the First Order through Snoke the entire time.
09:50What is most peculiar about Snoke is why he even exists at all. If Palpatine was strong enough to
09:55control this bio-engineered creature, the question of why he didn't rule the First Order himself,
10:00since he always intended to reveal himself to the galaxy, rears its ugly head. Obviously,
10:04the answer to this question is, Disney had no plans for the sequel trilogy, so when they killed
10:09off Snoke, they had written the franchise into a corner without a central antagonist to pit our heroes
10:13against. Had the House of Mouse planned the sequels out from the start, either Snoke would have had
10:18a compelling and understandable backstory, or he wouldn't have existed at all, with Palpatine
10:22firmly taking his place from the beginning of the trilogy.
10:25And there we go, my friends. Those were the 8 most useless Star Wars characters. I hope that you
10:30enjoyed that, and please let me know what you thought about it down in the comments section below.
10:33As always, I've been Jules, so you can go follow me over on Twitter at RetroJ, but the O is a zero,
10:38or you can swing by Instagram, where it's the same handle, RetroJ, but the O is a zero. Hope to see
10:43you over there. But before I go, my friend, I just want to say one thing. You, yes you, listening to
10:47this video are not useless. Sometimes we can be too hard on ourselves, and I just want to remind you that
10:52you are a big ledge. You deserve happiness and success. You deserve love and respect. And don't
10:58let anything or anyone else tell you otherwise, alright? I want you to go out there and absolutely
11:02smash it today. I believe in you. As always, I've been Jules, you have been awesome, never forget that,
11:07and I'll speak to you soon. Bye.
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