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TVTranscript
00:00When mum was pregnant with me, she played Mozart constantly because she read it would make me
00:15smarter. Maybe that's why I was unprimature. I was trying to get away from it. Then when I was born,
00:24she breastfed me for longer than usual in the hope it would make me stronger.
00:27All that led to was me being picked second last every time in PE. And a bad set of bitch tits.
00:33Italian families show love through food, so unless you want to seem ungrateful, you better pack it in.
00:39It's fine for people like my brother Lorenzo. He can just burn it all off.
00:46Not that I don't get exercise, I spank at every chance I get.
00:52Which isn't often enough in my house.
00:56There's no word in Italian for privacy, but while I might not be able to compete on the oval,
01:04I definitely measure up in other ways.
01:06Who was the real monster of the story? That is the question.
01:09See, can you do me a huge favour? Can you help me with this? Can we swap?
01:13Oh, you're the best. The best? The best?
01:17Maybe all that Mozart paid off after all.
01:20Aw, darling! Oh!
01:23Hey, Mrs. C. Hey, looking good.
01:25Eat up, boys.
01:26Cheers. Cheers, biggies.
01:27Yeah.
01:28Mmm.
01:29How was your swim? Was it good yet?
01:31Yeah.
01:32Not that it mattered.
01:44Okay, they almost ready?
01:46Oh, not too big. We're not all little piglets.
01:50Vroom.
01:51Wait, no, no, I haven't given them the ridges yet.
01:52Oh, okay.
01:54Ah, she's early.
01:56Wasn't that better than being late?
01:58Not really.
02:01Hey, hi.
02:03Oh, you look handsome.
02:04Gorgeous.
02:08Hello. Welcome.
02:10Coming through.
02:11It's a beautiful home.
02:13And this is my Z-cat.
02:14Hi.
02:15Finally.
02:16Oh, look out, Anzo.
02:17I thought you said you were the handsome one.
02:19All right.
02:20Nice to finally meet you.
02:22Don't worry, I'm a hugger.
02:23Uh-huh.
02:24Lorenz, why don't you get your girlfriend a drink, yeah?
02:27It's her fiancé.
02:28Mama.
02:29I think we're all still getting used to it.
02:31Certainly all happening very quickly.
02:36I brought to you a soup.
02:38Made it myself.
02:39Oh, how thoughtful.
02:42Oh, doesn't this look interesting?
02:46It's great.
02:46I'm going to pop it in here.
02:54Can I be excused?
02:56No, your brother's here.
02:57And we barely get to see him anymore.
02:59You'll get to see me every day soon.
03:01Hey, Pa.
03:02Yeah, don't think I'm going to go easy on here.
03:04I'm sure you'll be the best boss in the world.
03:06Enzo has big plans for the business.
03:09Does he now?
03:12I just want to make sure that we stay the number one mechanics in Jero.
03:16Yeah, and you know, our reputation is the reason we're number one, okay?
03:20This town knows what our family stands for.
03:27So, Zeke, I think one of your friends is playing at our wedding.
03:31They are?
03:31Yeah, so much you drive.
03:32Those kids are only here, right?
03:34Sorry, it's the first I'm hearing about this.
03:37What about your cousin's band?
03:39I'm sure he'd love to play.
03:43Yeah, well, I mean, Nat and I, we wanted to go a little more modern, so...
03:47Oh, okay.
03:49Well, who's in the band?
03:50Are they Italian?
03:52Zeke?
03:53I don't know, Mum.
03:54But isn't Charlie in your class?
03:56Charlie?
03:57Charlie Roth?
04:00Not that deviant.
04:01Excuse me?
04:01Oh, yeah, I heard all about it on Facebook.
04:04He tried to ruin Alicia's marriage.
04:06Plied Kevin with drugs to try and spread disease.
04:08Finocchio.
04:10Well, he's a teenager.
04:12I'm sure Charlie didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do.
04:15Sorry, Kevin and Alicia have been loyal customers of ours for 10 years.
04:19Twelve.
04:20Twelve.
04:20They may have had their difficulties, but come on, they're good people.
04:24And how do you know Charlie isn't?
04:26Because he went online and laughed about it.
04:29And now they want to get married, these gays?
04:32Just degrading our institutions?
04:34I hope you're not friends with this boy, Zeke.
04:36I'm not.
04:37Good, because it's a sin.
04:40The church is very clear.
04:44I don't want him playing at my son's wedding.
04:48Well, it's my wedding too, and I want him to play.
04:51I don't want him to play.
05:00Who wants dessert?
05:10I thought she'd never leave.
05:29Mum.
05:30What?
05:31No secrets in this house.
05:34Come on, I'd like to use the laptop that I paid for.
05:36I need to do my emails.
05:37I'm doing an assignment, Mum, it's important.
05:39What, and your mother's email isn't?
05:41Why can't you just use the main computer?
05:43No, your dad's doing his MYOB.
05:45Well, you can use your phone, you know.
05:46Okay.
05:48I don't ask you for much, Zeke, yeah?
05:50And after everything I do for you, and everything that Chinese girls put me through...
05:54She's Vietnamese.
05:56That's hardly any better.
05:58Just promise me you won't end up with a girl like that.
06:00I promise.
06:02Find a nice Italian girl, you know?
06:04Someone to make us proud.
06:05Not a gold digger who can't make tiramisu.
06:08You're not going to be long, are you?
06:11It will take as long as it takes.
06:19What's this?
06:19What's holding the man?
06:20It's the movie we're watching for school.
06:23But isn't that a gay film?
06:24No, it's not a gay film.
06:25It is.
06:26It's gay pornography.
06:27I don't want you watching this.
06:29Mum.
06:30Sam, have you heard about this?
06:32Guess what they're showing at your son's school that we pay top dollar for?
06:36Pornography.
06:36It's not porn, Mum.
06:38It's Australian.
06:39Oh, okay.
06:40Now it all makes sense.
06:42That boy at your school, this is where he's getting it.
06:44That's not how it works, Mum.
06:45This is exactly how these things happen.
06:48Movies like this let disturbed boys like him think it's acceptable when it's not.
06:53Listen, you need to be really careful, okay?
07:00Because boys like him are very troubled and they're just lonely, tortured people who will
07:05drag anyone down to their level.
07:09You don't have to worry about me, Mum.
07:11No, no.
07:15I'll take care of things.
07:16Don't you worry.
07:19I'm going to clean up, please.
07:23See you, Charlie.
07:33See ya.
07:38You've got to get off my car.
07:39Okay.
07:47I've got to go now.
07:50I'll see you soon.
07:51Yeah.
07:53I don't know.
08:06I don't know.
08:36What's up? Did I leave something in your car?
08:46No, I'm just driving home, feeling sleepy.
08:50Didn't want to crash, and I wanted to hear your voice again.
08:54I bet you said that to all the boys.
08:57I've never given my number out before.
09:00Where are you?
09:02Just getting ready for bed.
09:05At home.
09:07Not exactly.
09:09Why not?
09:12I'm missing always the safest place to be.
09:16I know what you mean.
09:20I wish I was there with you.
09:25Why are you going to protect me?
09:27Something like that.
09:28You there?
09:37Yeah.
09:38Go home.
09:40Please.
09:41I don't like the idea of you sleeping, Ralph.
09:43Will you walk me home?
09:51Sure.
09:51So, how far have you run?
09:59It was quite great because she started crying her eyes out for her.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Yeah.
10:07You wouldn't believe the whole thing.
10:10It's pretty realistic.
10:11I know.
10:12Yeah.
10:12I'm home.
10:21I'm home.
10:23Yeah, same.
10:24I'm really glad I met you, Charlie.
10:31Me too.
10:32Sweet dreams.
10:39Good night.
10:41Good night.
10:41Good night.
10:42Good night.
10:42Good night.
10:43Good night.
10:43Good night.
10:44Good night.
10:44Good night.
10:45Good night.
10:45Good night.
10:46Good night.
10:46Good night.
10:47Good night.
10:47Good night.
10:48Good night.
10:48Good night.
10:49Good night.
10:49Good night.
10:50Good night.
10:50Good night.
10:51Good night.
10:51Good night.
10:52Good night.
10:52Good night.
10:53Good night.
10:54Good night.
10:55Good night.
10:56Good night.
10:57Good night.
10:58Good night.
10:59Good night.
11:00Good night.
11:01Good night.
11:02Good night.
11:03Good night.
11:04Good night.
11:05Good night.
11:06Good night.
11:07Good night.
11:08Good night.
11:09Fucking worship all this fucking thick, huge fucking muscle, fuck yeah, which one I don't
11:28want to feel like fucking pressed up against you, pinning you down, and this big fucking
11:34dick, I don't fucking stretch in your fucking head with me, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah,
12:04up you get, what, I want to sleep, I suppose we're going to have to talk about AIDS now,
12:14are we, god give it a rest Nadine, what am I supposed to say, hmm, I'm just scrolling
12:20Facebook, minding my own business, when suddenly I find out my son's hooking up with pedos,
12:25why didn't you tell me, maybe because I thought you'd take it bad, you and your thieving fuck
12:33bud, well you won't be seeing him again, so, but your money's gone, no point crying about
12:40it, if you want cash, go out and earn some more, meanwhile you're going to school, get up,
12:46through this far and land, I am the cloud that walks mighty, only with thy powerful land,
13:01prayer of heaven, prayer of heaven, prayer of heaven,
13:06keep me now and tell the Lord,
13:11prayer of heaven,
13:15prayer of heaven,
13:17keep me now and ask the mercy,
13:23fasted, blessed,
13:25on the track to listening to music,
13:41let me pack up the ute and I'll let you know how I'm tracking, okay?
13:45I'll have to make you a track to playlist,
13:47put some Nick Cave on there.
13:49I'd like that.
13:50I reckon like a virgin should make an appearance after last night left you feeling shiny and new.
13:58Charlie, that's not funny.
14:01I don't listen to music like that.
14:02All my journey through,
14:06strong deliver,
14:09strong deliver,
14:11lead us in my strength and shield.
14:16It's just, I'm just sick of it, hey!
14:24Oh, so you're talking to me now?
14:28Don't be mad.
14:29You told me to leave you alone?
14:31Well great, you get your wish.
14:32I'm sorry, okay?
14:34I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
14:36I just,
14:37I didn't want to be your gay best friend.
14:39I don't suddenly want to watch Drag Race and talk about Ariana Grande.
14:43We never had secrets from each other, Chapa.
14:45I know.
14:46I'll tell you everything from now on, I swear.
14:49Starting with Fitzy taking all of my fucking cash.
14:53He what?
14:54And so we're going to need gigs and fast because I need some money.
14:57If we're going to do gigs, you have to follow the set list.
15:00Yeah, yeah, of course.
15:02I mean it.
15:02You have to be willing to play whatever the crowd asks for.
15:05Yeah, yeah, I will.
15:06Like Footloose.
15:07One of my faves.
15:08Macarena.
15:10No problem.
15:12Kylie.
15:13Come on.
15:14See, this is what I mean.
15:15All right, all right.
15:16I'll play the goddamn Kylie.
15:18And by the way, I smashed my guitar so I'm going to need to use band money to buy a new one.
15:21Thank you, bye.
15:21Charlie!
15:22Father.
15:26Chirt.
15:27Yep.
15:27Your hair colour hasn't changed, I see.
15:30I suppose I should be glad it's not rainbow colours.
15:37Is this where you're giving me a big speech about having to grow out of this phase or burn in hell?
15:40No, no.
15:41Church has moved a little beyond that stance, Charlie.
15:45All right, so you're not going to punish me?
15:47For homosexuality?
15:49No.
15:50Tardiness.
15:51And for using your phone in chapel, however.
15:54All right.
15:54Saturday detention.
15:55Saturday detention.
15:57Do I get it back?
15:57Please?
16:02Please?
16:07As long as you use it to call for help whenever you need.
16:14All right?
16:15Deal.
16:15Do you want to show up?
16:44Page!
16:59Zin!
17:02Aww.
17:04Looks like Kalajero's packing some full Kardashian juice back there.
17:10Come on, Zeki.
17:12Clap them for me.
17:14Good girl, Zeki.
17:27I don't know.
17:57I don't know.
18:27So we'll be back by about ten or so.
18:54You sure you don't want to come with us?
18:56No, I've got to study.
18:58Always studying.
19:00Okay.
19:01Don't work too hard.
19:03Come on, let's go.
19:03Come on, let's go.
19:09Come on.
19:13Come on, let's go.
19:21Come on, let's go.
19:22Come on, let's go.
19:25Oh, yeah.
19:26Come on, let's go.
19:31I don't know.
20:01I don't know.
20:31I don't know.
20:32I don't know.
20:33I don't know.
20:34What?
20:35Nothing.
20:36I'm going to take Slash.
20:38Too specific babes.
20:40I don't know.
20:47Hey.
20:48Didn't realise this place was turning into a gay bar.
20:54Just stick to the set list and remember they're barely a step up from pig fuckers.
21:01The show must go on.
21:02The show must go on.
21:03If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that sets 15 miles to the love shop.
21:04Love shop.
21:05Love shop.
21:06Love shop.
21:07Love shop.
21:08Love shop.
21:09Love shop.
21:10Love shop.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Yeah.
21:13Yeah.
21:14Yeah.
21:15And remember, they're barely a step up from pig fuckers.
21:18The show must go on.
21:43Cruising for Cockabare.
21:45We know what fangs on you do there.
22:02Sounds like you're jealous you weren't invited.
22:04So come up and bring your jukebox money to the love shack.
22:10It's a little old place where we can get together.
22:15Love shack, baby, love shack.
22:23And shack, love shack.
22:25Love shack, baby, love shack.
22:29Love shack, baby, love shack.
22:33Come on, mate.
22:33Take a fucking joke.
22:35What's up, bro?
22:37Fuck you.
22:49I thought you were better than the other dumb cunts here, but you're just the same.
22:53Charlie, you're just...
22:54Tracked a graveyard shift, you fucking liar.
22:57Let me explain.
22:58You know, just because you're hot doesn't mean you get to treat people like shit, you fucking asshole.
23:02Charlie.
23:03You can act as masque as you like, but you're still a faggot.
23:06You can act as masque as you like, but you're still a faggot.
23:23Fuck.
23:29What?
23:30You think I'm hot?
23:33Fuck off.
23:34I'm sorry.
23:37Sorry for not replying or for sticking up for you back there.
23:42I didn't mean to lie to you.
23:44That was dog of me.
23:45I guess I'm just not used to having a boyfriend.
23:55But...
23:56Wait, did...
23:58Did you just call me your boyfriend?
24:04Turn around.
24:08Why?
24:10Because I want to see your face.
24:15Don't be a prick.
24:31Nice eyeliner.
24:33Shut the fuck up.
24:45God.
25:12God.
25:13Oh, my God.
25:43Oh, my God.
26:13Are you still studying?
26:19Just finished.
26:20You know, you can't spend your whole life studying, yeah?
26:23You need to get out there.
26:24You're more like Laurentians.
26:26Go to parties.
26:27I will.
26:28I will.
26:28Soon.
26:29Good.
26:31You're a good boy, Zeke.
26:32I want to open a window or something.
26:42Don't know how you can breathe in here.
26:43I can't see me.
27:02Show us that peach.
27:05Why?
27:06You need something for your spank bank?
27:07Yeah.
27:08Oh, my God.
27:14Oh, my God.
27:14Come on.
27:15Oh, my God.
27:16Oh, my God.
27:18Anyone home?
27:48I found your phone. I was wondering why you didn't tell me it was broken, so I had it fixed.
27:57The people at the shop had to unlock it, so I saw everything you have on there.
28:13And is this what I think it is?
28:18The more you don't, the more, the more you don't, you don't.
28:48I do so.
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