- 6 hours ago
- #realitytvdeep
#RealityTVDeep
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Right, right, right, right, right, are you shuffling?
00:02Shuffle, small steps, small steps, okay, okay, okay.
00:05Easy, easy, easy.
00:06Down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
00:10Okay, ah, yes, yes.
00:14Wow.
00:14Oh, it looks so good.
00:16So much more space for my new custom desk.
00:19Oh, it was so nice with Dakota to make you a desk.
00:22Yeah, I think he feels bad because his daughter's school project
00:25made me have a meltdown in front of sixth graders
00:27and also question my life choices.
00:30So what's this desk going to look like?
00:32Well, I told Dakota that it needs to be full of possibilities.
00:37No time to take control of my life back.
00:40My first desk had an ashtray.
00:44Aw, man, I already sent Dakota my mood board.
00:48Anyway, thank you guys for your help.
00:51You bet.
00:52And it's toning my arms.
00:54Oh, no, I love a life refresh.
00:57Isabella, we should dye your hair.
01:00Fun.
01:01But no, my hair is perfect.
01:05Okay.
01:06Um, keep or purge?
01:09Or give to Gabby.
01:12I bought that lamp for Gracie.
01:14Aw, I didn't know that.
01:16Yeah.
01:17Chuck it.
01:20Ooh, oh.
01:21Oh, this is 100% cotton, huh?
01:26This is definitely a give to Gabby.
01:29Oh, wow.
01:30Uh, my Stanford sweatshirt.
01:32Mm-hmm.
01:33Oh, that's a keeper.
01:35Getting in was a huge accomplishment.
01:38No.
01:39Nope, Gabby.
01:40It's yours.
01:40You know that is in the past, and I am looking towards the future.
01:44Score!
01:44Red is definitely my color.
01:48Right after fuchsia and burnt umber.
01:52Hey, guys, what do you say we take a little break?
01:54Sure thing.
01:55And don't purge anything in the fuchsia family until I get back.
02:02You okay?
02:03We can trade the lamp in and get your sweatshirt back.
02:07It's silly.
02:09It reminded me how fun school was.
02:11School?
02:12Oh, that thing you gotta get through to get to recess?
02:16I'm weird, I know, but I loved it.
02:20You know, pop quizzes, dry erase boards, raising your hand.
02:26You just can't do that in the real world.
02:29I'm sorry, honey.
02:32I don't get it, but I'm still sorry.
02:34Is there anything I can do to help?
02:36No, I'll be okay.
02:39Where do you think you're going without a hall pass, little missy?
02:44My fifth grade teacher, Miss Mackey, would have said that.
02:48You belong in Hat Beach Place.
02:54What's up, Dakota?
02:55I still can't figure out this email from Isabella.
02:59Do you know what kind of a desk is Boss Babe Chic?
03:06I'm gonna need a little more information.
03:09I'm gonna ask my daughter.
03:12Okay, you are never gonna believe what just happened to me.
03:16Okay, this lady outside saw the sweatshirt and assumed I went to Stanford.
03:22Really?
03:23I told her I would put in a good word for her son.
03:27People are so gullible.
03:31Oh, I don't know where you stole that, but there's also a school named Stanford.
03:38No, actually...
03:39What are you talking about?
03:41Gabby went to Stanford.
03:43What?
03:43No, she didn't.
03:45Yes, she did.
03:47No, she didn't.
03:50Gabby?
03:51I did.
03:55She was only there for a year, but yeah, she went.
03:59I didn't know that.
04:01Really?
04:02Really.
04:04That's crazy.
04:05Yeah, and she measured in...
04:07Got your ass!
04:09Oh, my God, you totally believed him.
04:18No, see, I knew that.
04:20You only got me for like a second.
04:21I'm not a gullible person.
04:23Emmett is just a way above average liar.
04:25Oh, my gosh, do you know what would be so fun?
04:28For the three of us to team up and trick the customers into thinking you went to Stanford?
04:32Exactly!
04:34You know what?
04:35You're pretty quick.
04:36Well, I have pretended to go to Harvard before.
04:38Oh.
04:40I'm in.
04:41Payback for all their...
04:43Can you put the sauce on the side request?
04:47Hey, Dakota, you want to get in on our prank?
04:50Oak?
04:51Is oak boss babe whoop?
04:55Leave the man alone.
04:56He's clearly got wood issues.
04:57Okay, open your eyes.
05:05Surprise!
05:07I got you some school supplies.
05:09Aw.
05:11Thank you, Bobby.
05:13But wait, there's more.
05:15I have enrolled us into a class together.
05:18What?
05:19Am I dreaming?
05:21Or are we going back to high school 21 jumpstring style?
05:24No, even better.
05:26It's an online food safety class.
05:28Oh, my gosh.
05:30Oh, my gosh.
05:32The tavern has to be recertified, and I thought we could take it and have some fun.
05:36What do you think about that?
05:37I've never been so excited in my life!
05:41Is there a textbook?
05:42Will?
05:43We should start studying tonight.
05:45How many flashcards do you have in this house right now?
05:48My gut tells me not nearly enough.
05:51Proper refrigerator storage order.
05:57Go!
05:57Okay.
05:58Seafood.
05:59Pork.
06:01Remember our mnemonic.
06:02Susan bashfully poked Gargamel's Pomeranian.
06:08Poultry!
06:09There she is!
06:11Top of her game.
06:12No one's better.
06:13All right.
06:13Okay, your turn, killer.
06:14Uh, what are the two most important steps of pre-shift hand washing?
06:20Easy.
06:20Okay.
06:22Ow!
06:23Ow!
06:23That's so hot!
06:25Step one.
06:26The water must be over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
06:30Oh, no.
06:30I wish I wore shorter sleeves because...
06:33Step two.
06:34You must wash hands and forearms.
06:38Correct.
06:39And extra points for acting it out.
06:42Hit me with another question.
06:43You know, I thought it might be a good time to take a little break.
06:46From cruising?
06:47Yes.
06:48Crazy.
06:48I was thinking the same thing.
06:49Okay.
06:50Great minds.
06:51Yeah.
06:51Okay, let's go back to the beginning of this chapter.
06:53My mantra in college was, you haven't read something until you've read it three times.
06:58You know, I don't think you and I would have been friends in college.
07:04My opinion, you haven't really read Shakespeare unless you've read it in the original language.
07:13Wow, Gabby, your confidence is unnerving.
07:22It's such a rush, you know?
07:24It feels so powerful, huh?
07:25Oh, oh, oh, here comes a guy.
07:28You ready?
07:29Born ready.
07:31Can I get an IPA?
07:32Ah, great choice.
07:34I used to love having an IPA after hitting the books at college up in California's Bay Area.
07:39She went to Stanford.
07:45Seriously?
07:45That's impressive.
07:47Yeah, and she's too modest to tell you, but she double majored.
07:52I don't like to brag.
07:53Philosophy and science.
07:57Not just science, applied robotics.
08:00But they kicked me out of the program for trying to build a robot who could love.
08:08The faculty was scared.
08:10Cowards!
08:12Is she talking your ear off about her days on the lacrosse team?
08:17Nobody wants to hear about my incredible lacrosse career at Stanford University.
08:27Enjoy that IPA.
08:29I will.
08:29Oh, what's going on?
08:38We've convinced the entire bar that Gabby went to Stanford.
08:44Isn't that hilarious?
08:45I know, right?
08:46You know?
08:47Why is that funny?
08:50Well, you know, I don't know.
08:54I mean, Steve suggested it.
08:56Why is it funny?
08:57Because Gabby, you know, you're just...
09:00What?
09:02I'm just what?
09:04I'd stop talking.
09:05You know, Steve, finish your sentence.
09:10I'm just what?
09:10I'm just a bartender?
09:12I didn't say that.
09:13Yeah, but that's what you meant.
09:14Emmett, help me out here.
09:15Nope.
09:15It's funny because I'm too dumb to go to Stanford, right?
09:22Right?
09:23Yes.
09:23Oh.
09:24I mean, no.
09:25I mean, none of us could have gotten into Stanford.
09:29Okay, so you're saying that it would have been just as funny if you were the one wearing this.
09:34I mean, maybe not as funny.
09:37Oh.
09:39Take the exit ramp, man.
09:42Okay, I can't take much more of this studying.
09:47Was anybody here good at school?
09:51Not the best time for that question.
09:54Okay, I need somebody to step in here.
09:57Because we all care about that girl.
09:59But I'm the only one getting punished for it.
10:01Bobby, I hope you're ready for the test tonight.
10:05It's not till next week.
10:07Not the real test.
10:08A head-to-head Thunderdome-style lightning practice test to make sure we're ready for the real test.
10:13See you at close.
10:15Get ready to get crushed!
10:21What's a Thunderdome-style lightning practice test?
10:24Well, I'm glad you asked because you will all be staying to watch.
10:31Welcome to hell!
10:38So sweet of you to stay for this.
10:40Bobby said we had to.
10:43Well, you will not be disappointed because in my hand I hold 200 practice questions.
10:49No.
10:51Okay, all right.
10:52We're not going to do all of them, are we?
10:55Well, I mean, not tonight, but eventually, yes.
10:59Okay, Gabby, will you be our test proctor?
11:01All you have to do is choose a random set of five questions from these.
11:05Oh, gee.
11:07I hope I can figure out how to do that.
11:11I mean, five.
11:14Five.
11:14Is that like six, but small?
11:19Come on, Gabby.
11:20I actually believed you went to Stanford, remember?
11:24That makes me the dumb one.
11:25Wow!
11:28Wow!
11:28No.
11:29No, no, no, no.
11:31It's not like...
11:31Ah!
11:32Ah!
11:35So, what are the rules, and how do I bet on it?
11:39First off, there's no holding back, okay?
11:41I want to win fair and square.
11:43Best of five, no buzzing in.
11:45When you know the answer, you see the answer.
11:47You ready?
11:48Yes.
11:48See?
11:49I knew the answer, and I just said it.
11:52Five bucks on Bobby.
11:54Nothing says romance like gambling on your lady.
12:00That's a good investment.
12:03I'll take that action.
12:05Ladies and gentlemen, we have quite a match-up today.
12:08In this corner, we have Bobby McAllister weighing in at...
12:12Bobby, what do you weigh?
12:13100, none of your business.
12:14Fine.
12:17Question one.
12:19How many hours can cold food be held without refrigeration?
12:24Six.
12:25Yes.
12:26Question two.
12:27An infrared thermometer is...
12:29Used to measure temperature without direct contact.
12:31And, uh-oh, Bobby.
12:33Looks like my temperature is off the charts.
12:35Oh, oh!
12:37Simmer down.
12:38I'm just getting warmed up.
12:39Question three.
12:41What is the minimum cooking temperature of a veal chop?
12:45145.
12:46Correct!
12:46Dang it!
12:47If you want to do it right, take it off the heat at 130,
12:51tin it with foil, rest it for 10 minutes,
12:54and serve with horseradish.
12:56Okay, question four.
13:03What does the T stand for in the food safety acronym, ALERT?
13:08Assure, look...
13:09Threat.
13:10Yes.
13:12You better watch your back, little sister,
13:13because that's what I am.
13:15Ooh!
13:15Ooh!
13:18Isn't Gabby doing such a good job at this?
13:21Okay.
13:22You're not.
13:23Okay, it is two to two.
13:27Final question.
13:28Winner takes all.
13:30If lasagna is removed from heat at 11,
13:33by what time must it be served according to safety guidelines?
13:38Five o'clock!
13:39Boom!
13:39Incorrect!
13:40What?
13:43Hot food has a shorter shelf life than cold food.
13:47Three o'clock.
13:48Yes!
13:48And the new food safety champion is a Bobby McAllister.
13:53Wow!
13:54Woo!
13:57Always bet on your lady.
14:00Yeah!
14:01Hey, since we're all here, maybe we can talk desks?
14:06Well, since I won so fast, I think we have time for that.
14:11Well, hang on.
14:12That last question wasn't fair, okay?
14:13Gabby picked one that was easy for you.
14:15Isabella, you're being a sore loser.
14:17Well, you're being unfair, but whatever.
14:20Fine.
14:21You won.
14:21Good for you.
14:22Going home.
14:30First of all, you drive like a maniac.
14:35Didn't you see me behind you flashing my brights?
14:38I thought it was a crazy person.
14:40It was!
14:41Me!
14:42Because you're driving me crazy!
14:44Look, I'm not in the mood to talk right now, Bobby.
14:47Good, because I'm not here to talk.
14:48Pop quiz!
14:50What are you doing?
14:51Oh, you wanted best out of seven.
14:53Well, let's get to it.
14:55Okay.
14:56True or false?
14:58You're acting like a brat.
15:00Please.
15:01True or false?
15:02False.
15:03Wrong answer.
15:06True or false?
15:08You're mad at me, even though this whole time I've been trying to help you.
15:13True.
15:15Okay.
15:16This is the last one, and it's an essay question.
15:20Why?
15:21I don't know.
15:24What school did you go to that you can think, I don't know, is an essay?
15:30Well, I don't.
15:32Okay?
15:33I don't know anything.
15:35I don't know who I am anymore.
15:37I don't know what I'm doing.
15:38I don't know what type of stupid desk to put in my stupid room that'll help me get my life
15:42back together.
15:43That's a lot of pressure to put on a desk.
15:45I know!
15:46It's dumb, but I realize that it's not the fun of school that I miss.
15:56It was a certainty.
15:58You know, I knew exactly who I was, and I just don't know how to get that back.
16:05I hope you never get it back.
16:08Rude.
16:09Look, certainty is a trap that keeps your life small.
16:19I was certain that I would never find love again after Travis passed.
16:24I was wrong.
16:25Aw.
16:26Cute.
16:28Can we get back to me, though?
16:30You know what else I was absolutely certain about?
16:36What?
16:36That I didn't need a little sister.
16:38Which is crazy, because you're one of the greatest joys of my life.
16:42Really?
16:43Even when I'm a brat?
16:45Ah, you're not a brat.
16:46You said I was.
16:47I did?
16:48Yeah.
16:49I came in hot.
16:49What's this?
17:00I got you a new sweatshirt, but you can only wear it when you're with me.
17:10It's cute.
17:13I feel like you think I said something I didn't say, and you're mad at me even though I-
17:17I'm not mad at you, okay?
17:19Okay.
17:25I owe you an apology.
17:27I was acting like a baby, and after seeing Isabella, I realized that is not a good look.
17:34It's okay.
17:36But I'd be more okay with an explanation.
17:39I have this- this voice in my head, and it is always telling me that I'm not smart enough,
17:46or I'm not good enough, or, you know, just not enough.
17:51And that is who I am really mad at.
17:54It's good to know I'm not the only one who does that.
17:58What's your sound like?
18:01Gilbert Gottfried doing an impression of my mom.
18:03Brutal.
18:08Yeah.
18:09I just- I hate it.
18:11You know, and once it starts, I just- I can't make it stop.
18:15You know what I do?
18:16What?
18:16I tell me to leave me the hell alone.
18:19Okay.
18:20Oh, I'm serious.
18:21Hey, me.
18:22You listen to me.
18:25At the end of the day, we're all us, so be nice or else.
18:32Oh, it works.
18:34I swear.
18:35Try it.
18:38Stop being mean to me.
18:39Uh, that's not going to make Mommy Gottfried shut up louder.
18:46Okay.
18:47Stop being mean to me, me.
18:50Yes, leave my friend alone.
18:52Yeah.
18:53We are a smart, capable woman, and you don't get to tell us who we are just because you're up there.
18:59So, you know what?
19:00Either pipe down or hit the road, peaches.
19:07That was great.
19:08How do you feel?
19:10Silly.
19:12A little better.
19:14And you know, you don't just have to talk to yourself.
19:17You can also talk to me.
19:20Thanks, Steve.
19:21You're welcome.
19:23Us damaged people have to stick together.
19:28So, how often do you talk to yourself?
19:31My neighbors think I have a roommate.
19:38Ooh, I can't wait to see it.
19:40This was so sweet of you, Dakota.
19:42Well, furniture's important.
19:44It's like giving somebody a new wooden roommate.
19:48That sounds like a sad kids movie.
19:50I was struggling.
19:53The first sketch that I had was powerful, but not chic.
19:58And he thought his second sketch was chic, but not powerful.
20:01So I told him, just make a desk that's like Isabella.
20:06Oak, strong and supportive, just like you.
20:12What do you think?
20:13Give to Gabby?
20:15No.
20:17I love it.
20:18It's better than anything I could have imagined.
20:21Thank you, Dakota.
20:24There's no ashtray.
20:25Well, just tell us where to put it.
20:30Us ladies, we already have our system in place.
20:33Back up.
20:33Back up.
20:34Back up.
20:35All right, on three.
20:36One, two, three.
20:37Oh!
20:37All right.
20:38Turn, turn, turn, turn.
20:39Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn.
20:40Turn, turn, turn, turn.
20:41Back, back, back, back, back.
20:43Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn.
20:44Who's not hearing your way?
20:45All right, and, and, and.
20:46Down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
20:49There we go.
20:50Whoo!
20:51Let me see.
20:52Oh, it looks great.
20:53Ooh, not quite done yet.
20:59Now it is.
21:03Give to Gabby?
21:07Oh.
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