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00:00Oh, for God's sake.
00:01Oh, it's probably because I've got high blood pressure, blood pressure, and my feet are puffy.
00:06Don't say you're going to be trapped in these moods.
00:08No.
00:09Um.
00:10I literally, we're going to have to get a strong man from this.
00:13Oh, no, they're coming, they're coming.
00:14That's fantastic, Mary.
00:16Do you think I should have got size 11?
00:21Ah!
00:23Her flabbers have been gasted.
00:25You want some of this?
00:27Oh, lettuce!
00:28Look out!
00:30Oh, now, there's a controversial statement.
00:33The gravy.
00:36Yeah.
00:38Do you like this music?
00:39No, not particularly.
00:40So suck on that.
00:42Oh, wow.
00:43He's been a bad boy.
00:45Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:47Not a chance, do we?
00:48Oh!
00:49Yes, look at that.
00:50He's had an absolute feast.
00:53Whoa!
00:54For a banana?
00:55This is insane.
00:57Well, thank all that sounds like I've got a headache.
00:59Come on.
01:00It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:04That's very modern, isn't it?
01:05Nothing, no-one saw that coming.
01:07No.
01:07In the week a runaway reindeer named Buddy sparked an emergency rescue operation in Formby, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:18BBC One was treating us to some marvellous miniatures.
01:21What are we going to be doing for you today, please?
01:24Well, I would love to have a model made of the library that I used as a child.
01:29I do take Ezra to the library to story time sometimes.
01:33We haven't been for a while, to be honest.
01:35Couldn't go this morning because I had to go for my Botox top-up.
01:38Sorry, Ezra.
01:40Sorry, Ezra.
01:41No, no, no, no.
01:41Side break for you.
01:42No, no, no.
01:43But we eat Botox.
01:45Freddie Flintoff had us up for a game of darts on ITV.
01:49Graham, I heard that you used to be in the police.
01:51I did, yeah.
01:52And as you look around, half of this Manchester audience is now.
01:54Yeah, look on.
01:55Don't worry, he's retired.
01:57Freddie stood on something.
01:59Like a milk crate.
02:01I'm not sure, remember, he was a cricketeer, wasn't he?
02:03So he's torn anyway.
02:05A what, Bob?
02:06Cricketeer.
02:07They played cricket.
02:08Huh?
02:09Cricketer.
02:10Not cricketeer?
02:11No.
02:11Shit, yeah.
02:13That as well.
02:15Why someone who plays football?
02:17Footballier.
02:19And Ed Sheeran was giving it his best shot on Netflix.
02:24And my song Perfect gets used for a lot of proposals, a lot of weddings.
02:28So I'm going to sing it.
02:29He's going to propose.
02:31Hopefully she says yes.
02:32To be fair, I'm glad Ben didn't get Ed Sheeran playing at our engagement situation.
02:37I don't think he'd have been able to afford it.
02:38Well, also, I'm not that big of a fan.
02:42Yeah, you'd have probably preferred JLS.
02:46Although they wouldn't have fitted it into a hotel room.
02:50That's me, Ben and JLS.
02:52I've got a lot of flags.
03:01In hall...
03:01Oh, do you know I hadn't opened my advent calendar 1st of December, innit?
03:05Best friends Jenny and Lee.
03:07Oh, number one.
03:11Where is it?
03:13Why is it...
03:14Who's opened this?
03:16What?
03:19I haven't opened it.
03:21You have?
03:22I haven't.
03:24What are you...
03:24I can tell.
03:26Look at your face.
03:27I can tell.
03:28When you're lying.
03:30You've already opened it, haven't you?
03:33Oh, don't be greedily.
03:35I thought I'd start it off for you.
03:38It's dug to the roof of my mouth.
03:40Good.
03:40This week, a global superstar went for a stroll round the Big Apple on Netflix.
03:49Ed Sheeran was bosking at his start, and you used to bosk.
03:52So what went wrong?
03:54Why are you sat with me?
03:55I don't mind Ed Sheeran.
03:57He's inoffensive.
03:58He's vanilla.
03:59He's vanilla is what he is.
04:01He's a crowd pleaser.
04:06It's like he's doing a live gig on the streets of New York.
04:10And it's all in one take.
04:16Do you not remember there was a time when Shape of You was on the radio
04:19and you could not avoid that for about five years?
04:21It still is.
04:22I'm in love with your body.
04:25Ooh, I, ooh, I, ooh, I, ooh, I, ooh.
04:28Come on now, follow my lead.
04:30Come on now, follow my lead.
04:33I'm in love with the Shape of You.
04:36And I'm like a man now, too.
04:38Sorry, I'm getting into it.
04:40I can't.
04:41You're doing too much.
04:42I can't.
04:42I'm very boring, but I don't like this sort of music at all.
04:46Do you think if you kept listening to it, you'd like it?
04:48No.
04:49You all good?
04:50You all good?
04:51Yeah, we're good.
04:52Oh, we just finished there then.
04:53I don't really think he has to rehearse, though.
04:55Do you really?
04:55Well, he might.
04:56It's to get the sound check.
04:58Oh, all right, roadie.
05:00Where are you going?
05:03Where are you going, Ed?
05:04Story continues.
05:05Hey, man, how are you?
05:06Good, how are you?
05:07Can you take me to the High Line, please?
05:09Yeah.
05:09Does he know who he is?
05:10Do you know who he is?
05:11Do you know who he is?
05:12Ed Sheeran.
05:13This guy got in touch for, I have, like, songs that people use in their weddings.
05:17Oh, pick that one up.
05:18You're a bit of a name-like, are you?
05:20Yeah, who are you?
05:21Who are you?
05:21I'll tell the wife when I get home.
05:23She'll probably know who you are.
05:24And this guy's going to propose to his girlfriend.
05:26So I thought I'd go and surprise him.
05:27Oh, my God, I would die.
05:30What would you do if Nat proposed to you and Ed Sheeran showed up?
05:34I mean, I feel like Ed Sheeran showing up would be more believable than Nat proposing.
05:39I found a love for me.
05:43It's just gone straight into it.
05:45Why is he singing it now?
05:46Oh, I love this song.
05:47It makes me cry.
05:48Oh, for fuck's sake.
05:50Darling, you look perfect tonight.
05:54Oh, did you see her?
05:54She went, double T.
05:56Fuck you, Ed Sheeran.
05:57I tell you what, I would turn my mobility scooter around and follow him if he was doing this.
06:02To carry more than just my secrets.
06:05Is this the couple?
06:06Here's the couple.
06:06There they are.
06:07Oh, they're there, they're there, they're there.
06:09Oh, look.
06:11Of our own.
06:13We are still kids and we're so...
06:15Oh.
06:16Oh.
06:17What goosebumps, literally.
06:18I know, I am.
06:19I'd forget about the proposal.
06:21I'd be like, forget this, man.
06:22I'm here for Ed Sheeran.
06:23I'd be staring at him the whole time.
06:24Yeah.
06:24Oh, my God, you're here.
06:27You are the most amazing, beautiful girl in the world.
06:30Ed, can you show up a minute?
06:32I got what you're saying.
06:33I got one question.
06:34Oh!
06:35Will you marry me?
06:36Oh, what's she going to say?
06:38Of course, she's going to say yes.
06:39Yes.
06:40Oh, that is lovely.
06:44Oh, she said yes.
06:45Well, she couldn't hardly say no, could she?
06:47Bloody hell, imagine he pulled out big guns with Ed Sheeran and she said no.
06:51She was kissing and how I was confused about.
06:53She should figure it out why I'm...
06:54Oh, he's going in the subway.
06:56Don't say he's patronising some more people.
06:58Yeah.
06:58What's going on?
07:03How's he going to perform on the train?
07:05I wouldn't appreciate that.
07:06I'd already be overstimulated in that environment.
07:09And then Ed Sheeran's there with his flipping rinky-tink guitar.
07:13You guys want a song?
07:15Yeah.
07:15Would you like a song?
07:16Would you like a song?
07:17What else are you good for, Ed?
07:19What about singing a song that we've actually heard of, Ed?
07:22Like Streets of London by...
07:25Ralph McTel.
07:26Ralph McTel.
07:27Days is a sweet perfume of the mountain grass I roll down.
07:32Do you know what?
07:33This feels a bit too orchestrated for me, this,
07:35because all these people are very glam.
07:37I just love her in the brown top.
07:39Yeah.
07:41Country wine.
07:42Castle on the hill.
07:45Driving it, dying she.
07:47Get that guitar in your hand.
07:50Play me a bit, Ed Sheeran.
07:51What's it worth?
07:52What's it worth to you?
07:53Chuck my tenor.
07:57I could hear it.
07:58I could hear it there.
07:58No, no.
07:59I could hear that.
08:00First note.
08:00First note.
08:02When your lips don't work like they used to.
08:05Don't look at me when you play that, please.
08:06That's uncomfortable.
08:07Yeah, try not to lock eyes.
08:11In Caffili.
08:13I don't know if you even know what it is.
08:14I like to take an hardbar and sweep the bed.
08:17Yeah, they have.
08:18Dave and his wife, Shirley.
08:20You've got some worthers out there, haven't you?
08:22Aye.
08:24When do you buy them, then?
08:26I can't remember.
08:27About in the week.
08:28Specifically for having a sweet to go to bed.
08:32Oh, right.
08:33Because as I say goodnight,
08:35I go up there.
08:36Yeah.
08:37You say, no, I'm going to bed now.
08:41I'm off then.
08:42Yeah, I know.
08:43I think thank fuck for that.
08:44Can I have a fucking mono?
08:50On Monday, it was all about the little things on BBC One.
08:54Good things come in small packages.
08:57That's what Mum always used to say to me when I was growing up.
08:59I don't understand people that want to make things in miniature.
09:02You just want it big.
09:06I want everything big.
09:08They say it's the little things that mean the most.
09:10That's true.
09:11And in this series, we're taking that to heart.
09:15Oh, look at that.
09:16This is up my mum's street, this.
09:18She loves little shit like that.
09:19The craft and skill of our team of miniaturists.
09:23Miniaturists.
09:24There's all sorts ofists now, isn't there?
09:26Nudists.
09:27Yeah.
09:28Naturists.
09:29Miniaturists.
09:30Yeah.
09:30Vapists.
09:31Shines through in every delicate detail.
09:34I've got stupidly fat fingers like Richmond sausages.
09:37There's no way I could do anything like that.
09:39Welcome to the Marvellous Miniature Workshop.
09:43If I was going to have a model, Dan, I think...
09:45Ponte Gwindi Peb would be yours, wouldn't it?
09:48What?
09:48Ponte Gwindi Peb.
09:50No, not necessarily, Cheryl.
09:53All right.
09:54Leah, welcome to the workshop.
09:55What are we going to be doing for you today, please?
09:58Well, I would love to have a model made of the library that I used as a child.
10:03Oh!
10:03Oh!
10:05Oh!
10:06Why?
10:06Our library was good.
10:07Our library...
10:08Why would you want the fucking library?
10:09Well, because it brings back memories.
10:11Shh!
10:11I mean, there are always beautiful buildings for a start.
10:16Not always so.
10:17No, no.
10:18Are they?
10:18I'm not sure they're always beautiful buildings, are they?
10:20No.
10:21Sturry Library certainly isn't.
10:22No, it's really not.
10:23Sturry's got a library.
10:25But there is another little bit to it.
10:28Oh, come on.
10:28Oh, there's backstories, Mary.
10:30I've got a feeling there's a backstory coming on.
10:32My favourite memory is from when I was 14 and a little bit.
10:36I met my husband there.
10:38Oh!
10:38Oh!
10:40As if she met her husband in the library.
10:42I've always wanted the scenario like that.
10:43Oh, my God.
10:44We both reached for the same birth.
10:46Oh!
10:47And he said something about university.
10:49And I thought he had a place at university.
10:51But when he turned around, I could see his school cap sticking out of his back pocket.
10:56He pretended to be older than he was.
10:58And unfortunately, he died just over three years ago.
11:03Oh, that's really sad.
11:05That's sad.
11:05I'm so sorry for your loss.
11:07Sorry.
11:08Anyway.
11:09Anyway.
11:10Moving on.
11:11What do you want in this library like?
11:14Let's have a look at this one.
11:15Wow.
11:15Oh, gosh.
11:16That's impressive.
11:17Fucking hell.
11:18I bet she's going...
11:18We're not going to be able to make this, love.
11:21Hannah begins with the outer shell.
11:24MDF walls are taped together to form the Grand Edwardian Reading Room.
11:29Look at that bit.
11:31What, sellotaping bits of MDF together?
11:33Yeah.
11:34Then comes the intricate parquet.
11:36Oh, look, she's doing parquet.
11:37Oh, God, she's going the old ugly.
11:40It takes five hours.
11:42Five hours to do that floor.
11:43I'm not being funny.
11:44I could probably floor a whole house in five hours.
11:46Hannah is turning her attention to the most important items in any library.
11:51Books.
11:52Toilets.
11:53The books.
11:55There.
11:56Hannah needs to make 3,000 of them.
11:593,000 books?
12:01Tiny jackets are printed in miniature on sticky paper
12:05and wrapped neatly around each block.
12:07Oh, it's making my eyes and my fingers go funny just looking.
12:11Me too.
12:12She's made little books, Tracer.
12:14And with incredible precision, glues them into position on the shelves.
12:19She's even putting them in with tweezers.
12:20And they all look so unique.
12:22None of them look the same.
12:25That is amazing.
12:27Now it's time to find out if Hannah's managed to pull off a storybook ending.
12:32Oh, she's going to come and have a look at it now.
12:34Oh, yeah.
12:34For me, she better be in bits at this.
12:37I'm talking, wailing, screaming, crying.
12:40Full scene.
12:413, 2, 1.
12:42Oh, my God.
12:45Wow.
12:46That's pretty cool.
12:47Oh, that's smart.
12:48Where's the roof?
12:52She hasn't finished it.
12:53Look at the detail.
13:02That looks so good.
13:04I just want to be a miniature person.
13:05Go inside there.
13:06Do you know what I mean?
13:07You are a miniature person.
13:09And there's one tiny detail that's an extra special surprise for Leah.
13:15Brace yourself.
13:17The school cap.
13:18Oh.
13:20That's the old school cap.
13:22Oh, bless.
13:25That will set her off, Mary.
13:27I've got tears.
13:28I've got tears.
13:30Oh, she's welling up now.
13:32I thought about you a lot, and Neil, thank you for letting me do this.
13:36Honestly, thanks for trusting me.
13:38It's a thank-a-thon, Natty.
13:39Oh, that's lovely.
13:40I could see myself being able to do that.
13:43Yeah, you've got little cute hands.
13:45I've got penised hands.
13:47Penis hands?
13:48Penised.
13:49Penis hands?
13:50Penised, like I'd be good playing the piano.
13:54Penised?
13:55Penised.
13:56What a penis?
13:57Did you say I was saying penis?
13:58I've got penis hands.
14:07In Wiltshire...
14:09While you were in London, I've been busy.
14:12And the extraordinary thing is that this tree that I bought has been reduced.
14:16Yeah, it's lovely, Natty.
14:18It's a lovely one.
14:19And, um...
14:20It's a very good condition.
14:21Giles and his wife, Mary.
14:23Can't you put her over in that corner?
14:25Well, then we lose Mrs Crang's armchair, Mary, which is very nice for people to sit in that corner with the reading light.
14:34I think you put in Mrs Crang's cupboard in room four.
14:38Yeah, but it would take a day to empty the contents of Mrs Crang's cupboard.
14:42Just put it in front of the cupboard and move the table.
14:45Oh, all right.
14:46Won't that be in everyone's way, in Prickle People?
14:48No, because I think people would rather have the...
14:51Prickle People.
14:52They'd rather have it than not.
14:55Yeah.
14:55On Sunday night, our favourite darts-based quiz show was back on ITV.
15:00Here we go.
15:04You and the darts.
15:06Aye, aye, aye.
15:07Oi!
15:08Two of my favourite things, Natty.
15:10Darts and trivia.
15:12Mary?
15:13You've spent so much time in London, you don't know what I'm like anymore.
15:17I...
15:18Darts and trivia.
15:19You've never been interested in darts since I met you up to 60 years ago.
15:25You'd be surprised how much have changed in the last six months, Mary.
15:28I've rewired my brain.
15:34I'm not as good as I was.
15:36You're shit, baby.
15:37No, I was not.
15:38I held in this lady's jambie and I love you now.
15:41I've hit a couple 180s in my time.
15:42You've done one.
15:43I've done one.
15:43You've done one?
15:44You've done it in the flat.
15:45I know, I know.
15:46I couldn't believe it.
15:47You thought there was something going wrong.
15:48There's no feel...
15:49I think 180 for me, there's no feeling like that in life.
15:52I've never felt that way again.
15:53I'm chasing that high forever.
15:55In the programme, it was Zaire and Lee who had made it to the final.
16:00There's eight red segments on the board and a prize behind each one.
16:03Here's what they're playing for tonight.
16:05Some of the prizes are crap, isn't they?
16:09I would say 95% from a shite.
16:11Yeah, yeah.
16:12Cos all the frig wants to throw the press.
16:16And one.
16:17I mean, it was stopped for a reason, wasn't it, this programme?
16:20You've got the power to DIY with over £1,000 worth of a Ryobi tool.
16:25I wouldn't mind that.
16:27You wouldn't mind that.
16:28Look at that.
16:29I could do a lot of damage with that.
16:30You could do lots of damage with that.
16:33In four.
16:34What else is there?
16:35You've got to roll with it with this pair of super smashing skates.
16:40Solar skates.
16:40No, I wouldn't mind a pair of them.
16:42Oh, they're nice.
16:43They're a bit of you.
16:44Rather, you've got a leotard that would go perfectly with that.
16:47Yeah.
16:48And for this special prize...
16:50Oh, is it a holiday?
16:52Tell me it's not Butlins.
16:53It's Butlins.
16:54It's Butlins.
16:54It's a family break, courtesy of Butlins.
16:58Butlins?
16:59Butlins!
17:00Butlins!
17:02Bad boys go to...
17:03Butlins!
17:05Keep out of the black and in the red.
17:07There's nothing in this game for...
17:09Two in a bit!
17:10Two in a bit!
17:12Huh?
17:12Take your time.
17:14Oh, yeah, I didn't get that.
17:15We're all behind you.
17:16Up your step.
17:18Come on, guys.
17:19Come on, lads.
17:20Come on, boys.
17:20This is the dart.
17:21Oh, I say it right.
17:23That's black.
17:26Oh, that's black.
17:27Straight in the black.
17:28That'll do.
17:29That's not good.
17:29He needs to be in the red.
17:31Black again.
17:32Oh, another one.
17:33What's wrong with those dots?
17:35Sayah.
17:37I'm black unlucky.
17:38I'm black again!
17:39Oh, no!
17:40Oh!
17:41Fucking hell, is he the dart player?
17:43Okay.
17:44Come on, Lee.
17:46Come on, Lee.
17:47You've got to do better than Sayah.
17:49Come on.
17:52Black.
17:52Black.
17:53Oh, shit.
17:54Oh, black.
17:55The red, Lee, the red.
17:58Back again.
17:59Black.
18:00No!
18:01Oh, no, it's not going well.
18:05Oh, what?
18:06Stop it.
18:07Ah, spec savers, please.
18:09Do you know what?
18:09He's got glasses on.
18:11Yeah, but they ain't working.
18:11I actually don't think we've ever seen this before.
18:14They've not won a single prize.
18:15How about the gold side?
18:17Sayah, you've got the final three darts.
18:19Please get something.
18:20And then...
18:21Black again.
18:23Black.
18:27Black again!
18:30Come on, Ziya.
18:31Oh, mate.
18:32It'd actually be hard to get black this many times.
18:35Oh, yeah.
18:36And black.
18:37Oh, my goodness.
18:39Oh, that's not...
18:40Oh, that's the first time I've ever seen that.
18:44Still got to ask you a big question.
18:46Right.
18:46Do you want to risk nothing?
18:49Yeah.
18:51And take on one final challenge.
18:54Score one or one or more with six darts,
18:56and you leave here with Bullies Mystery Star Prize.
18:59Nah, to be honest with you, I want to go out and win nothing.
19:01I don't want to risk it, Brad.
19:04Well, it's a no-brainer, isn't it?
19:05What would you do, Ziya?
19:07Lee, your first to throw.
19:08Please step up to the hockey.
19:10For goodness sake.
19:11Come on, Lee.
19:12You've got to get something here, Simon.
19:14OK.
19:15Here we go.
19:16Come on, Lee.
19:17101 or more in six darts.
19:20101 or more in six darts.
19:22That's doable.
19:23You could do that with your eyes shut.
19:24No pressure.
19:26Or lots of pressure.
19:29Seven.
19:29Seven.
19:30That's a good step up for him.
19:31I like to get the seven out of the way early doors.
19:34Set me up nicely for a treble 20.
19:39God, five.
19:40Five!
19:42No, they're hopeless.
19:43That's 12.
19:47And 19.
19:4819.
19:49Not bad.
19:50Yeah, if you get 70, they win.
19:52Is that possible?
19:53Yeah, because they could get a triple 20 and a 10.
19:56For bullies' mystery star prize.
19:59Come on, Ziya.
20:00This isn't hard as someone who played darts.
20:0420.
20:05Whoa!
20:0620.
20:06Come on, boy.
20:0920.
20:10Oh, nice!
20:11Well, he's doing all right here.
20:13It's all on the last dart, so.
20:16Oh!
20:16Oh, no.
20:19Oh, he's fucked it.
20:20Oh, 72.
20:2172.
20:22Well done, lads.
20:23Oh, wee.
20:24Oh, you tried.
20:28You tried, guys.
20:29I don't think they tried hard enough.
20:31I don't.
20:34I don't.
20:34I don't.
20:35I don't.
20:38In Derby.
20:39Theodore, look.
20:40I'm sitting with Uncle Roz.
20:42Can you see him?
20:44Yeah.
20:44I'm special.
20:45And there's someone else very special here.
20:48Do you want to say hi?
20:50The Siddiquis.
20:51Ho, ho, ho.
20:54Have you been good this year, little man?
20:57That's not real Santa.
20:59It's Grandad.
21:01I know you want a snake for Christmas.
21:04I know what you want for Christmas.
21:07What do you think?
21:09You want a snake.
21:13No.
21:14He's fallen over.
21:17I don't need this.
21:18I don't.
21:19I don't want.
21:20Dad, stop telling me.
21:24On Friday, there was a famous face doing some festive fiddling on ITV.
21:30Ooh, Sarah Davis.
21:32Christmas craft-off, Tom.
21:35Craft-off?
21:35Yes.
21:36Sarah Davis.
21:39Dragon Den.
21:40Blonde hair.
21:41Yes.
21:42Got you.
21:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:43She's a massive crafty.
21:45Is she?
21:46Yes.
21:46It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
21:49Oh, I like her.
21:50I don't.
21:50I can't believe she's made that much money out of cardboard.
21:53Neither can I.
21:53I'm on a mission to spread a bit of homemade festive magic.
21:57Do you know what?
21:58You can't be a bit of homemade festive magic.
22:00You can't.
22:01Nice little glue gun pipe.
22:02Wow.
22:03Oh, I love a sparkly pine cone.
22:05So grab your glue guns and let's get Christmas crafting.
22:09I need to get a bad man glue gun.
22:12That's what I need.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Real bad man glue gun.
22:14Real bad man glue gun.
22:15Ooh.
22:20Do you know what Christmas crafts equals?
22:23Christmas crap.
22:24Christmas crap, yeah.
22:26I thought, why not do a little Christmas scene in a glass?
22:29Oh, why not?
22:31That's what every glass needs at Christmas.
22:33Yes.
22:33Absolutely.
22:34A what?
22:35Christmas scene in a glass.
22:37I like fucking vodka in my glass.
22:39Yeah, I do.
22:39That's the only thing I like in my glass.
22:41Or a nice white.
22:41Or a nice Pinot Grigio.
22:43This is a really fun treat and super easy.
22:46I don't have a spare glass.
22:47Look how the other half live, honestly.
22:48How do you do a Christmas scene in a glass?
22:52And what is the point of a Christmas scene in a glass?
22:54Well, just to be festive.
22:56All I'm going to use, a little bit of rosemary.
22:58Okay.
22:59Got that in the garden.
23:00We do have that in the garden.
23:01Grows all year.
23:02Abundance of rosemary.
23:03Some pomegranate seeds.
23:05Pomegranate seeds.
23:06Come on.
23:07Okay.
23:08We're going to freeze it ready.
23:10Oh, what?
23:10Okay.
23:11What's she doing here, man?
23:12I want to know where this is going here.
23:14In the freezer.
23:18Now, this is the low-tech tape.
23:21What tape?
23:22Low-tech.
23:23Low-tech.
23:25She's a bit blue petery, isn't she?
23:27I had no idea she was into this type of stuff.
23:30It is going to hold our little miniature Christmas tree in place.
23:34A miniature Christmas tree?
23:36Yeah.
23:36That's what she's doing with the rosemary.
23:38Oh.
23:39That's going to be the miniature Christmas tree.
23:42And then you see that will be held just nicely in the glass.
23:47Lovely.
23:48And the best thing about that size of using rosemary is you will have your eye out when you're having a drink.
23:54I think she's showing you how to make a cannabis farm.
23:57So, I'm going to start off just with a little bit of water.
23:59Yeah, because it's going to be going into the freezer.
24:01Oh, yeah.
24:02What is this?
24:03It's a Christmas scene in a glass.
24:09I'd end up with frozen peas and sweet corn in as well.
24:12A mix, a country mix.
24:14I won't even get one glass in my freezer.
24:15I can't even get the ice cubes in, man.
24:18And then you just need to take the washi tape off.
24:21Okay.
24:21Take the tape off.
24:22Let's have a look.
24:23And what you'll see is a twig.
24:26It is.
24:27That Christmas tree will have frozen perfectly in the place.
24:34Lovely.
24:39Um, right.
24:42I don't even know what to make of it.
24:43I'm so, like, I'm lost for words.
24:46It looks dead.
24:47I'm just adding tonic water to these.
24:50Here we go.
24:50Oh, now she's talking.
24:52Can I have Coke in mine instead?
24:54She can't even see it.
24:55With rosemary.
24:58Oh, I'll have a rosemary and Coke, please.
25:02Oh, come on.
25:05Get something harder in there.
25:06Where's the gin?
25:09Yeah.
25:10Where's the vodka?
25:11At least she's tried, didn't it?
25:14That's all that matters.
25:15Like, at least she tried.
25:16In Leeds.
25:25I'm going to a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.
25:28Yes, I'd heard about this.
25:29Yeah, so I'm going to an actual American's house for an actual Thanksgiving dinner.
25:36Lucky you.
25:37Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
25:39Do you know what's well?
25:40Like, I feel really grown up and mature to be invited to a Thanksgiving dinner party.
25:45I know.
25:45I've been invited to a dinner party.
25:49Tell me you're old without telling me that you're old.
25:52Me and Nat are going to a dinner party.
25:54We've actually never been to a dinner party.
25:57That's because none of your friends are sophisticated or host dinner parties.
26:00You've just made friends with Neil and Hannah and they so happen to be normal human beings.
26:08On Monday, fallout from the budget was still bubbling along on BBC News.
26:14I'm guessing it will be the trouble they're in because they didn't tell the Cabinet they had a budget surplus notified by the OBR when they were saying they had a £20 billion black hole.
26:25Have you had your advent calendar this morning?
26:28No, I haven't.
26:29I've had a coffee, wouldn't I?
26:30Pinch, punch, first of the month, no returns.
26:33Good afternoon.
26:34Welcome to the BBC News at One.
26:36Our main story.
26:37The Prime Minister has insisted...
26:39Oh, he looks a bit alarmed there, York here.
26:41He looks bewildered, doesn't he?
26:43Yeah.
26:43..that his Chancellor, Rachel Reeves, did not mislead the public before last week's budget.
26:48That's not what I've heard.
26:50Have you been following this?
26:51Yes, yes, she exaggerated the so-called fiscal black hole.
26:56Cabinet members have reportedly accused him and Ms Reeves of misleading ministers.
27:01Yep.
27:02I'd have to agree with that.
27:03Didn't they mislead them?
27:04And they just kept some information back, which helped with what she was doing.
27:09Rachel Reeves has defended her position, saying full details contained in her budget are never provided in advance.
27:16Pretty big detail to not release, though.
27:18You know, she doesn't release all the details, just the ones that she wants you to hear.
27:22We now know that on October 31st, the Office for Budget Responsibility told Rachel Reeves that she still had a surplus of £4.2 billion.
27:31What?
27:32So the economy's doing better than we all thought.
27:35She was telling everybody we were £20 or £30 billion down, and she was £4.2 billion up.
27:40This is like what happened with Nana's energy bills.
27:43Yeah.
27:45Giving a speech in London, the Prime Minister said there had been no misleading.
27:49Well, of course he would say that.
27:51We had on the one hand £16 billion less than we might otherwise have had.
27:54We had clear commitments that we'd made throughout the process as to what it was we were going to achieve.
28:00Oh, God, it's so boring.
28:02Yeah, I've checked out now.
28:03Oh!
28:04It was inevitable that we would always have to raise revenue.
28:08What is that noise?
28:08That horn noise?
28:10It was a moment for personal pride.
28:12It's not air raid, is it?
28:13The Tories have asked the financial regulator to investigate Rachel Reeves.
28:18What?
28:18I mean, what's going to happen?
28:19They're going to do an investigation.
28:20It's going to take nine years.
28:22They're going to be out of power.
28:23No one's going to care.
28:24A CEO who did what Rachel Reeves did would have had to resign.
28:29You tell him, Kemi.
28:30And she should be held to the same high standards.
28:32She's the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
28:34She's not a PR lady.
28:35Kemi's just happy to get her neb on telly.
28:38Oh, God.
28:38Just to stay relevant.
28:40I mean, fair play to her.
28:41She didn't pull a quasi-quartang.
28:43Yeah.
28:44Yeah.
28:44You know, she has got that on her side.
28:47Yeah.
28:48Nobody's beat quasi-quartang yet.
28:51In Yorkshire...
28:54What makes someone beautiful and what makes someone pretty?
28:57It's just an interesting concept.
28:58Sarah and her daughter-in-law, Lara.
29:01Well, my sister was beautiful and I was just pretty, OK?
29:07So, what am I?
29:10You're...
29:10Why did I ask that?
29:12Why did I ask that?
29:13You are pretty, I suppose.
29:16Attractive, beautiful.
29:17I don't know what you are, darling, what you think you are.
29:19On Saturday night, Alan Carr took us back in time on ITV.
29:27I feel like I get really stuck in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s.
29:31I don't know the difference between them all.
29:33What was going on in the 80s?
29:35Well, with me?
29:36Well, I was fully out then, wasn't I?
29:38So, it was all fun.
29:39Well, actually, it wasn't at all.
29:40I don't want to know what was going on in the 80s with you then.
29:42He does a young Alan Carr so well, that boy.
29:52Never mind changing ends.
29:54You can't change bloody channels for Alan Carr.
29:59Nothing united the UK more than a telephone.
30:02What's a telephone?
30:03We've got telephones now.
30:05Oh, that's a telephone.
30:06Everyone used to sit in baths of baked beans, didn't they?
30:10What the fuck?
30:11Even celebrities came down from their ivory towers
30:14to show us they were just like us.
30:17Oh, they need to bring out back things like this.
30:19This is proper tele.
30:21Not like the shite we have to watch now.
30:24Oh, and you ain't got a few tins of beans
30:26if you were in a right state.
30:27She's the annoying neighbour over at Road, isn't she?
30:31She's the snobby neighbour
30:32who's always looking down her nose at Alan's mum.
30:35If your cupboards are bare,
30:36you can always send the boys to me for a feed.
30:40So, right, 80s hair cut, that one, innit?
30:42Yeah, I had that hair. Don't you remember?
30:44Yeah, but yours looks like an explosion in a mattress factory.
30:46That was lovely. I had real good hair.
30:47We're just doing a bath of beans for charity.
30:49Well, we're trying. We're about 20 tins short.
30:50That's why we're here.
30:52Charlie's doing a camp out Saturday.
30:53Yeah, it was a bit mad, wasn't it, back in the day?
30:56It was constantly something.
30:58He was getting sponsored for something all the time.
31:00He's having a camp out. Load of mates coming round.
31:03What about Alan? Ask Alan to go.
31:06Oh, which mate?
31:07Michael Godgin. Bradley.
31:09Who else? Jake.
31:11Oh, Jake.
31:12Oh, Jake. He likes Jake, doesn't he, Alan?
31:14Oh, he likes Jake, yeah. He'll be there, Alan.
31:16Maybe Alan could camp out instead of the beans.
31:19Oh, well, that's very... You'd like that.
31:21Look at his little face.
31:23It lit up there, didn't it?
31:24Oh, yes, please.
31:25I'll camp out with those boys.
31:27Oh, no. Not with Charlie.
31:29He's done enough of charity already.
31:32Oh, he doesn't want Alan to come.
31:35After setting up camp with his friend Kay,
31:38Alan was keen to see what Jake and the lads were up to
31:41in the other garden.
31:44Get yourself in the tent there. Go on, Alan.
31:46Get in.
31:49Oh, my God, he's in with all the boys now.
31:54Hey, hi.
31:55Hello.
31:57That's what you're like when you flap out to someone.
32:00Oh, no, that's why I'm single, babe.
32:01Jake.
32:02Good timing.
32:03Oh, there's Jake.
32:04Oh, yep.
32:05He's very happy.
32:06Let's do something else, eh?
32:07No.
32:08George's turn.
32:08No, this is a dangerous game, man.
32:10Oh, my God.
32:11Never have I ever done fourth base.
32:16What is fourth base?
32:18What a base.
32:19One, two, three.
32:21Not round the back.
32:23I don't think it's round the back.
32:24They're barely even 15.
32:26I'm sure Alan can help you, Georgie.
32:28Don't worry, Al.
32:29It's just a game, innit?
32:30Oh, poor Alan.
32:32This is a horrible situation to be in.
32:34I'm bored of this now.
32:35Come on.
32:36Come on, Jake's sticking up for Alan, yeah?
32:38Never change, Alan.
32:39Hello, happy campers.
32:41Oh, did you see that look?
32:43He told him never change.
32:46Alan, you've left poor Kay on her own.
32:48Out.
32:49Kay, you grass.
32:51Absolute party pooper.
32:52Give me that.
32:53Right, all of you, out.
32:55Now.
32:55Come on.
32:56Oh, they've been caught.
32:58Bottle of whiskey snatched.
33:00Oh, come on.
33:01Georgie.
33:02Oh, Alan giving Jake the ass.
33:06Sorry.
33:06You can't believe this.
33:08You have no idea what's going on in your back garden.
33:10You've got kids in it.
33:11Oh.
33:12Oh.
33:14Oh, my God, Alan.
33:17No, anyway.
33:18No, thank you.
33:19Thank you very much.
33:21Oh.
33:24Jake and Georgie are snogging.
33:30It's tough, Alan.
33:32Who does that on the drive, though?
33:33Yeah, why are two kids necking on?
33:36I really felt that I had a chance.
33:39She just wasn't the one, darling.
33:41Oh, Mum just got the wrong idea.
33:44I wasn't talking about Georgie.
33:46Yeah.
33:47We know.
33:47We know, Alan.
33:48I know.
33:50Oh.
33:50Oh.
33:51Oh, what a good friend.
33:53I mean, these days, you'd be pleased to have a gay son, wouldn't you?
33:56Oh, God, yeah, I'm hoping.
33:57Do I tell you what I used to like one time with Debbie Addy?
34:02Was it?
34:03Aye, but that's not somebody in school, is it?
34:05I can't think of anybody in school.
34:08I used to fancy the window cleaner in school.
34:11Oh, the window cleaner.
34:12Yeah, I did end up going out with him.
34:17Oh.
34:25In Blackpool.
34:27Tell you what, the kids are getting all excited for Christmas, aren't they?
34:30Yeah.
34:30Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
34:32When they were round here the other day, Jimmy was saying, we've got a Christmas tree.
34:39I said, oh, I said, me and Uncle Ben have put ours up in the other lounge, begging me
34:44to see it, like, obviously.
34:46I said, yeah, come on then, let's go.
34:49And I've put, I've had made two little stockings, one for Ben, one for me, hung on the fire,
34:56lovely touch, match all the colour scheme.
34:59And Jimmy takes one look at him and goes, why have you got two big stinking socks?
35:06I was like, they're not stinking socks, Jimmy.
35:11This week, we were all on the edge of our seats as we waited to find out who was to blame
35:16for what on Sky.
35:18Oh, you know what this is, Lev?
35:20What?
35:20Don't blame her, isn't it?
35:22Don't blame her?
35:23It's not that, it's all her fault.
35:25Oh, I thought he was, I thought he was done, blame her.
35:32So what's happened?
35:33What have I missed?
35:34So, at the start, child gets kidnapped by a nanny, not his own nanny, another nanny who's
35:40got a special interest in him.
35:41She was called Carrie, as it happens, now called Josephine.
35:45Child's now been reunited with his family.
35:48However, we don't know why.
35:50We don't know why it's all happened.
35:53In the programme, they had a flashback to show us how it all started.
36:01Oh, let me, Josie had a baby six years ago.
36:04If Josie had a baby, why did she need to steal someone else's?
36:10Oh, look how happy she is, Lee.
36:12She's taking him home.
36:13Oh, you fuggers.
36:18Oh, fucking hell.
36:20Oh, bloody hell.
36:23Shit.
36:24Oh, now who is in that car?
36:26Is that the mum and the dad of, um, Milo?
36:30No.
36:31No.
36:32No, I heard him.
36:34Oh, no.
36:36Josie's in hospital.
36:38Yeah, but what's happening to the baby?
36:40He was crying.
36:40I'm sorry, he didn't survive the crash.
36:43Oh, no.
36:45What's she saying?
36:45She heard the baby crying?
36:46Yeah, she said she heard him.
36:48I think that you're confused.
36:49That must have been the other baby.
36:51What?
36:52The other baby.
36:53What other baby?
36:55In the other car.
37:00Are we still six years ago, or are we real now?
37:04Real now.
37:05Does the name Josephine Murphy mean anything to you?
37:08Uh-oh.
37:09Josie, what are you doing with the guy?
37:10What are you doing?
37:11Mr. Revine, did you make me?
37:14He's my son.
37:16What do you mean he's your son?
37:17Her son died in the car accident.
37:20My name is Josephine Murphy.
37:23What?
37:24No, don't you?
37:24They recognise the name.
37:26No, you, you, you, you died.
37:29I didn't.
37:30What?
37:30She died?
37:31They said she died.
37:32Why, did they think she died then?
37:34I didn't come here to try to get him back.
37:37Well, what have you come here for then?
37:38I came here because I need you to promise me.
37:41What?
37:41Mother to mother.
37:43That you'll protect Milo.
37:44I am so confused.
37:46I thought she's the baddie.
37:47She didn't sound like a baddie.
37:48No.
37:49From, from what?
37:50From him.
37:51Him.
37:51Oh, why?
37:53What's he doing?
37:54You don't know what he's capable of.
37:56Oh my God, look at his face.
37:58He's like, no, please don't, please don't expose me.
38:00Like, what are you hiding?
38:02I know you won't believe me if I tell you,
38:04which is why you have to hear it for yourself.
38:06Shut up.
38:06Oh my God.
38:07She's got evidence.
38:08Oh my God.
38:09No.
38:09Oh my God.
38:12Oh, no.
38:14He's shot her.
38:15He's done that deliberately.
38:16Okay.
38:17He's done something, hasn't he?
38:22She had the evidence there.
38:24Yeah.
38:24Peter, whose, whose baby died in that accident?
38:29Their baby died and he took.
38:32Hers.
38:34Josie's baby.
38:35Yeah.
38:36He was scared and he was cold,
38:38but I couldn't, I couldn't just leave him there.
38:40No, no, no, no, no, no.
38:42So Marlowe is Josie's baby.
38:44Poor old Josie has been in the right all along.
38:47You stole her child.
38:49No, I did, I did what I thought was right.
38:52I stole a child, mate.
38:53No matter which way you look at it or cut it down,
38:56you still stole somebody's child.
38:58All this time I thought the kidnapping was my fault
39:00and you let me think it was my fault,
39:02but it was not my fault, it was yours.
39:03Yeah, it did, didn't it?
39:05Change the title.
39:06It's all his fault.
39:07It's not all her fault.
39:08We knew it'd never be her fault.
39:10It's always got to be a man's fault.
39:11A bit later, it looked like Marissa
39:14had forgiven her husband, Peter.
39:22Why is she being nice to him?
39:24I couldn't kiss him.
39:26Knowing what she knows, I couldn't.
39:28What's that for?
39:31Er, I've missed you.
39:33What were that for?
39:34Nat says that when I snog him.
39:36Thinks that I'm up to something.
39:37Yeah, I've missed you too.
39:38Peter, never trust the redhead, mate.
39:44Your own thin ice there.
39:50What's she coughing for?
39:51What's she doing?
39:51Oh, what's wrong?
39:52That's how Mel reacts when I kiss her.
39:54Oh, shit.
39:56Oh, I didn't check all the allergens.
39:58Oh, she's had something on her lips.
40:00Yeah, she's kissed him.
40:02A deadly kiss, Simon.
40:03I could have had this away by accident.
40:05Fuck, I'm so sorry.
40:05Have you got your EpiPen, Andy, love?
40:09I hope not.
40:12It's like an immediate reaction.
40:15What the fuck?
40:18It's expired.
40:19What?
40:20Oh, shit, it's not working.
40:22It's expired!
40:23Yes!
40:25You always have the emergency kit.
40:29You know.
40:29It has worked out.
40:30That's true.
40:31I manage your allergy for you.
40:33Oh!
40:35Right between the lines, I managed your allergy for you.
40:38Amira, remember when you had to use an EpiPen because you had some Parmesan?
40:42Some Parmesan?
40:44Don't make it sound so minuscule.
40:47Like, it...
40:47Amira, it had to be rushed into hospital.
40:49Amira, that was the funniest day ever.
40:52Do you remember, though, when you were, like, when we called the ambulance and they were
40:57like, who's going to come with her?
40:59And none of you wanted to volunteer.
41:01You were like, oh, I've got to work the next day.
41:03I don't know how long we're going to be there.
41:05You don't know what could have happened to me.
41:07My lips are huge.
41:08They look like Kylie Jenner's lips, Rob.
41:12In Glasgow...
41:14We're at Christmas parties.
41:15The worst part about them is, like, yeah, it's that not knowing where the line is.
41:18There's a clear line, mate.
41:19Don't cross it.
41:20Best mates Jake and Callum.
41:22I don't really drink that much.
41:23I doesn't, like...
41:24I never really get to that place.
41:26Never do.
41:26But I've been to some wild Christmas parties where you're just like, Anne from Accounts
41:30does not do that on a Monday morning.
41:32It's almost like a superhero, right?
41:33They come out, they show you their true powers, and on the Monday you're like, all right?
41:37Yeah, back to...
41:38Back to normal.
41:39Back to your spreadsheets.
41:40Something that's magical.
41:41It's nice.
41:41You know what I mean?
41:42So we glimmer into someone's action.
41:43It's a glimmer in and you go, I know I like you, but we don't need to talk about it.
41:47Yeah.
41:47This week, Strictly had something new in store for us on BBC One.
41:52You ready for Strictly?
41:53Ha-ha!
41:54Are you ready?
41:55Oh, good catch.
41:57Nice.
41:58Should we watch Strictly and at least there'll be some athletic gaiety?
42:02Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
42:11Where's your bottom gone?
42:12It's over there.
42:13You haven't brought it.
42:15Stuck-look.
42:16It's on the way to...
42:17Oh.
42:20Well, why has it come off?
42:22Because it's cheap plastic.
42:23That's why it's come off.
42:24Hey, Soph, do you look like Claudia?
42:28No, you look like that Derek that recruited your ice plies.
42:31Welcome to Strictly Come Dancing.
42:33We are back from Blackpool and back to business.
42:36Bloody hell.
42:37How big's Tessie's hair this week, that blow-dried MBJ and MacDonald?
42:41Our couples have another chance to improve their position
42:44on the leaderboard when they take on instant dance.
42:49Instant dance? This is new.
42:51What do you mean an instant dance?
42:52You have to, like, dance now.
42:54Yeah, that's exactly it.
42:56All our couples will be asked to improvise a dance on the spot.
42:59Oh, my God. Improv.
43:00This is us.
43:02Oh, shit.
43:04Improvisation.
43:05Ha, ha, ha.
43:07Yeah.
43:07They're starting to change it, Mary.
43:10Oh, no.
43:10I think the expression is change it up.
43:12No.
43:13Oh.
43:13After being assigned their dancers and picking their own costumes...
43:17That's... Yes, take that.
43:19Bam.
43:20Take trousers.
43:21Trousers are good.
43:21It's chaos, this.
43:23What the freak's going on?
43:24It's a bit like it's a knockout, not it.
43:26Yeah.
43:27The dancers have just ten seconds to confer before taking to the dance floor.
43:31No, no, no.
43:32Flying squirrels.
43:34Oh, come in.
43:35Okay.
43:36Oh, she's talking him through it.
43:37Yeah.
43:38Right.
43:38You do that.
43:39Right, quick pun.
43:39You do that.
43:40I'm going to do that.
43:41I'm going to do this.
43:41You go over there.
43:46Oh, look at him.
43:48Oh, hello.
43:49Just, yeah, yeah, just strip.
43:50That'll confuse him.
43:56I mean, they're just floating round the room at this stage.
43:59He doesn't need to do anything.
44:01That's the thing.
44:01He's just like.
44:02As long as he does this, that.
44:03If I just stay there, she'll lead me.
44:10Oh, he's done a lift.
44:15Oh, God, he's a stronger on the floor.
44:18Honestly, I could have done that.
44:20They've done a couple of forward steps, a couple of backward steps, side steps, and then, I mean,
44:25hoider on the floor.
44:26Well, our final couple, Amber and Nikita, make it onto the floor.
44:31I love how Nikita's come dressed as a car wash.
44:34Five, four, three, two, one.
44:39Shit.
44:40What the fuck about?
44:41Shit.
44:42You start anything like that, and you'll be fine, innit?
44:44That's how I start doing my taxes.
44:49I would need a good bit of warning if someone were going to toss me in the air like that,
44:54with my legs open, because it wouldn't end well for them.
44:59Oh, them ruffles are made for shimmying, aren't they?
45:01When in doubt, you shimmy, innit?
45:03When in doubt, you shimmy.
45:08Oh, yeah.
45:12That's the Shakira dance.
45:16Yeah.
45:16They are nailing this.
45:32Yeah.
45:33Got a bit of Shakira going through them.
45:35Forever.
45:36Forever.
45:36Forever.
45:39Oh, God.
45:40The thing is, if all else fails, just fling your crotch in someone's face.
45:42Listen, it works, clearly.
45:44If you really feel the way I feel.
45:46Ooh.
45:48Do you want, like, a whipping top?
45:49Oh, yes.
45:50Very slick.
45:55Oh.
45:55Oh.
45:56Whoa.
45:57I think he's just took a full to the volleys.
46:00We'll play that game at Christmas.
46:01That'll be fun.
46:02Instant dance.
46:03Give that a whirl.
46:04I've got to tell you, I've not been that interested in Strictly since Ann Whitacombe was used as
46:08a mop to clean the Strictly floor.
46:10Yeah, man.
46:10This has definitely rekindled my interest in it.
46:14Ha, ha, ha.
46:18And next Friday night, Channel 4 is standing up to cancer live.
46:22Catch all the fun and complete frolics from 7.30, including a stand-up to cancer gogglebox special.
46:28A tense family dispute makes for a complex case.
46:32True crime on Channel 4 with 24 hours in police custody.
46:35New this Monday at 9.
46:36Up next, given the past week of Reggie, it's the last leg.
46:40Perfect world.
46:42Perfect world.
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47:08Perfect world.
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