Something Remote-Sd - Dailymotion Video

Name: Something Remote-Sd
Uploaded: 2025-12-04T22:07:00+00:00
Duration: 1 h 25 min 8 s
Channel: Eden.Stream
Description: Something Remote-Sd

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Something Remote-Sd

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00:03:40Lisa must be around here somewhere.

00:03:42Lisa?

00:03:43Guys, why are you so mean to her?

00:03:44She was always really nice to me, she probably came to apologize.

00:03:47Look, you just don't understand how girls work, alright?

00:03:49Once you realize that girls are predisposed to extract valuable time, energy, and most importantly, money,

00:03:54you'll understand where me and Neil are coming from.

00:03:55You've never had a girlfriend, Matt.

00:03:57Bah bah bah bah bah.

00:03:58Look, with girls, you gotta be ruthless.

00:04:00Well, maybe Neil doesn't wanna be ruthless.

00:04:02What? What are you talking about?

00:04:03Of course he does.

00:04:04It's his ex.

00:04:05Look, now just go stand up by the tree.

00:04:06This is man talk.

00:04:07Bye.

00:04:08Go.

00:04:10Yeah.

00:04:11Yeah, ruthless.

00:04:12Can't let Lisa see that I'm still single.

00:04:13Yeah, gotta say a face.

00:04:14Hey, hey, you!

00:04:15Me?

00:04:16Yeah, hey, you.

00:04:17Wanna make 20 bucks?

00:04:18Sure.

00:04:19What's with him?

00:04:20Oh, I lost his circle privileges.

00:04:21Right.

00:04:22So, about the 20 bucks.

00:04:23Oh, great.

00:04:24All right.

00:04:25All right.

00:04:26All right.

00:04:27All right.

00:04:28All right.

00:04:29All right.

00:04:30All right.

00:04:31All right.

00:04:32All right.

00:04:33All right.

00:04:34All right.

00:04:35All right.

00:04:36All right.

00:04:37All right.

00:04:38All right.

00:04:3920 bucks.

00:04:40Oh, great.

00:04:41All right.

00:04:4220 bucks to pretend to be this guy's girlfriend.

00:04:43This guy?

00:04:44You gotta be kidding me.

00:04:45Girls gotta have standards.

00:04:47Oh, for crying out loud.

00:04:48What's the big deal?

00:04:49I mean, no one would believe that a girl like me was going out with a guy like you.

00:04:54Just to think.

00:04:55All right.

00:04:5640 bucks.

00:04:57Okay.

00:04:58Okay.

00:04:59Neil, give her the 40.

00:05:02Come on.

00:05:03Come on.

00:05:04Don't be cheap.

00:05:05Nice lady.

00:05:06Just doing you a good favor here.

00:05:08All right.

00:05:09You good?

00:05:10You good?

00:05:11Let's do this.

00:05:12Sorry about all this.

00:05:14Guys.

00:05:15Wait for me.

00:05:16Lisa!

00:05:17Neil!

00:05:18How did you get in here?

00:05:19Hi, Lisa.

00:05:20Eric, don't break rank.

00:05:21I thought you changed the locks.

00:05:22I thought you changed them.

00:05:23No, guys.

00:05:24I did it.

00:05:25And I did it.

00:05:26Yeah, that's what I thought.

00:05:27Yeah.

00:05:28Yeah.

00:05:29Yeah?

00:05:30Well, your windows are still made of glass.

00:05:31Our slumlord landlord isn't going to fix that.

00:05:32Yeah, neither are you.

00:05:33Hush, Eric.

00:05:34What are you even doing here?

00:05:35I, uh, came here for my stuff.

00:05:37Like what?

00:05:38Like, uh, my hammer.

00:05:39Hey.

00:05:40That's it.

00:05:41You're done, Lisa.

00:05:42I'm good.

00:05:43I'm good.

00:05:44I'm good.

00:05:45You're good.

00:05:46You're good.

00:05:47You're good.

00:05:48You're good.

00:05:49You're good.

00:05:50You're good.

00:05:51You're good.

00:05:52You're good.

00:05:53You're good.

00:05:54You're good.

00:05:55You're good.

00:05:56You're good.

00:05:57You're done, Lisa.

00:05:58I'm calling the cops.

00:05:59Oh, and my cell phone.

00:06:00What?

00:06:01Fine.

00:06:02Just take it and get out of here, Lisa.

00:06:04Who is this, Neil?

00:06:07This is, uh, my new girlfriend, Abby.

00:06:09That's not my Neil.

00:06:11Abby.

00:06:12Hi.

00:06:13Well, that's cool.

00:06:15Cause I have a new boyfriend.

00:06:17I doubt that, you crazy psycho bitch.

00:06:19Who?

00:06:20Uh, him.

00:06:22Huh?

00:06:23Me?

00:06:24Really?

00:06:25That's my roommate, Lisa.

00:06:26You're all for two here.

00:06:27Uh, I really meant him.

00:06:28I doubt that, you crazy psycho bitch.

00:06:30That's my other roommate, Lisa.

00:06:31You're all for two here.

00:06:32Uh, I really meant... him.

00:06:36Huh.

00:06:37This is my brand new boyfriend.

00:06:42Isn't he...

00:06:43Fucking gross.

00:06:44Rugged.

00:06:45Oh, yeah?

00:06:46Well, if you're her new boyfriend, what's her name?

00:06:48Lisa, don't say a word.

00:06:49Uh...

00:06:50But, Eric, shut up.

00:06:52Well?

00:06:53Hmm?

00:06:54Uh...

00:06:55Ha!

00:06:56See?

00:06:57I knew it.

00:06:58I was just happy she noticed me.

00:06:59I knew you were on a boyfriend.

00:07:00How much did she pay you to do this?

00:07:02She gave me $40 to stay with her.

00:07:04Paying someone $40 to be their boyfriend?

00:07:06Well, that's low.

00:07:07Well, that's funny, cause Abby over here sure doesn't look like your girlfriend.

00:07:12Oh, yeah?

00:07:13How do you figure?

00:07:14Well, first of all, a girl had to have some standards.

00:07:17Look at her, and look at you.

00:07:20Like, trying to fit a small square peg into a round hole.

00:07:25And B, she doesn't smell like you.

00:07:28You were smelling me?

00:07:30That's it.

00:07:3140 bucks is not worth putting up with you freaks.

00:07:34Who's winning the limbo contest now?

00:07:38What?

00:07:40Just leave.

00:07:41Get going.

00:07:42Now.

00:07:45I'm not done with you, Neil.

00:07:47I'll be back for my stuff later.

00:07:49I doubt that, you crazy psycho bitch!

00:07:54What a waste of $40.

00:07:56I don't know.

00:07:57I, uh...

00:07:58I think she wants you back.

00:07:59Why would you even say something like that?

00:08:01Yeah, seriously, Eric.

00:08:02Why would you curse that upon him?

00:08:03He's better off now than ever.

00:08:04She doesn't want me back.

00:08:05She just wants to make my life miserable.

00:08:08Come on, Neil.

00:08:09That's not so...

00:08:10Uh-uh.

00:08:11I buy a good first slice.

00:08:14I hope you got meat lovers this time, Matt.

00:08:16Yeah, you would say that you do...

00:08:22What the hell are you still doing here?

00:08:23She also said I could take whatever I wanted.

00:08:25What?

00:08:26No!

00:08:27Get the hell out!

00:08:29Um...

00:08:30These are ours.

00:08:31Sorry.

00:08:33Um...

00:08:34That too.

00:08:35Thanks.

00:08:36Well, uh...

00:08:37Hold it, hold it.

00:08:41You're good to go.

00:08:42You can never be too sure with hobos.

00:08:47Jeez.

00:08:48At least she's been such a bitch since I broke up with her.

00:08:50I thought she broke up with you.

00:08:52Is that what she's been telling people?

00:08:53Forget about her, Neil.

00:08:54Well, let's not be too hasty, Matt.

00:08:56I mean...

00:08:57Breakups are a delicate situation.

00:08:59Like those Russian fabric eggs.

00:09:02It's Fabergé.

00:09:03And no, no, it's not.

00:09:04He dumped her.

00:09:05Alright?

00:09:06That egg is smashed.

00:09:07Move on.

00:09:08I think you should re-examine the situation.

00:09:09I mean...

00:09:10It's been like two days since you guys split.

00:09:12About that, yeah.

00:09:13Right, so there's some heated emotions getting in the way of everyone's thinking right now,

00:09:17and you should probably just talk to her.

00:09:19Nah, she just wants to move on.

00:09:21Get her goods and go.

00:09:22I mean, she broke in here.

00:09:24Rash, yes.

00:09:25But if you look past all the raw emotion,

00:09:27you might be able to see what you actually want from all this.

00:09:30Nah, I don't think so.

00:09:32Why did you guys even break up?

00:09:33You two were perfect together.

00:09:36She was...

00:09:37Too loud.

00:09:38Heh.

00:09:39Tell me about it.

00:09:40Nah, I mean...

00:09:41In bed.

00:09:42What?

00:09:43I wanted to liven things up, so I told her to be louder.

00:09:47Get into it.

00:09:49And?

00:09:50She took it way too far.

00:09:51Started yelling and screaming, you know, really getting into it.

00:09:54Wait, so that's why I used to crank your music?

00:09:57Funny I like those tunes.

00:09:59I'll never listen to Rock You Like a Hurricane the same way again.

00:10:02I told her to tone it down, but she said it was only getting better for her the louder and angrier she got.

00:10:07And that's when we started to fight.

00:10:09But before all that, don't you miss being with her?

00:10:11Well...

00:10:12Neil, don't listen to him.

00:10:13Look, you got your own boob tube right here.

00:10:16Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:10:17I mean, I hadn't been spending that much time with you guys while I was with Lisa.

00:10:20Nothing like pizza and TV, right?

00:10:21Yeah, two pizza pies coming right up.

00:10:23Wait, you got pie?

00:10:24No, you douchefag.

00:10:25It's not actually pie.

00:10:26I'm just calling it pizza pie like the gangsters of old New York used to do.

00:10:31I've never heard of that before.

00:10:33Yeah, me neither.

00:10:34Does anyone still call it that?

00:10:36Does it matter?

00:10:37It's cool.

00:10:38Unique.

00:10:39Uncommon.

00:10:40And with good reason.

00:10:41No way.

00:10:42A grinder is a hoagie is a footlong.

00:10:43They're all tasty sandwiches.

00:10:45I'm just saying, pizza pie?

00:10:47It doesn't sound that appetizing.

00:10:49Excuse me, I like a pizza with some whipped cream and cheese on it.

00:10:53Ooh, and some sprinkles.

00:10:54Yum yum.

00:10:55Yeah, it's like cheesecake.

00:10:56It just doesn't sound like you'd ever want to eat it.

00:10:58What do you have against cheesecake?

00:11:00Yeah.

00:11:01Listen to it.

00:11:02Cheese.

00:11:03Cake.

00:11:04Sounds like someone took some fresh Gouda and threw it on some crust.

00:11:07I mean, I like cheese and all, but a big honking slab of thick gooey just never really tempted me.

00:11:13You do know it's not actually cheese.

00:11:15Well, I know that now, but when I was little, the name was all I had to go on.

00:11:19No, he's right.

00:11:20Bullshit.

00:11:21I'm just saying, a whole cake full of cheese, it sounds a little...

00:11:27What the hell is that?

00:11:30I can't really describe it.

00:11:31You still haven't.

00:11:32I boiled it down to an action.

00:11:34What the hell is that?

00:11:35That doesn't say shit to me.

00:11:37Yeah, it does.

00:11:38It's like, uh...

00:11:39Too sweet.

00:11:40What?

00:11:41No, not at all.

00:11:42Yeah, no, it's like when you wipe your brow cause it's hot, or you keel over cause you're sick.

00:11:46Going like...

00:11:48Saying it's too sweet or something.

00:11:50Eric, that's ridiculous.

00:11:52Well, that's what I did.

00:11:53Dude, no wonder Lisa broke up with you.

00:11:55You can't even communicate your own fucking thoughts.

00:11:57Hey, that was a low blow.

00:11:59I broke up with her, remember?

00:12:00She's the crazy one.

00:12:01And don't you forget it.

00:12:02I just had to refocus your anger onto her.

00:12:04We're all friends here.

00:12:05Let's get to that TV.

00:12:19So where the hell is Hadley?

00:12:20We can't watch TV without him.

00:12:22Did we lose it?

00:12:23Get his whistle.

00:12:25Got it.

00:12:26Come on.

00:12:27I hear him.

00:12:28Again.

00:12:29Found him.

00:12:30Oh, how we thank God.

00:12:31How could we ever lose you?

00:12:32Good thing we attached this locator to him just in case.

00:12:33Oh, put this back, Eric.

00:12:34No, Eric.

00:12:35In its holder.

00:12:36If we lose that whistle and then Howie again, we're screwed.

00:12:37Okay.

00:12:38Okay.

00:12:39Okay.

00:12:40Okay.

00:12:41Yeah, we'll be back to where we were before.

00:12:42Okay.

00:12:43Okay.

00:12:44Okay.

00:12:45Okay.

00:12:46Okay.

00:12:47I hear him.

00:12:48I hear him.

00:12:49Again.

00:12:50Found him.

00:12:51How could we ever lose you?

00:12:52How could we ever lose you?

00:12:53Good thing we attached this locator to him just in case.

00:12:55Oh, put this back, Eric.

00:12:58No, Eric.

00:12:59In its holder.

00:13:00If we lose that whistle and then Howie again, we're screwed.

00:13:04Okay.

00:13:05Okay.

00:13:06Yeah, we'll be back to where we were before, Lisa.

00:13:09Remote-less.

00:13:10And thus TV-less.

00:13:11Remember when we broke a remote and got stuck in the Spanish-owned shopping network?

00:13:14Ah, si, si.

00:13:16I love you, Howie.

00:13:17Look how cute he is.

00:13:18He's so much better than that dog we wanted.

00:13:19I know.

00:13:20I stole him when I broke up with Lisa.

00:13:21She got him when we were still together.

00:13:22Said she needed something size-wise in her life.

00:13:23Well, fuck her.

00:13:24I stole a remote.

00:13:25Right.

00:13:26Well, anyway, like we said, good thing.

00:13:27Good thing.

00:13:28Well, fuck her.

00:13:29I stole a remote.

00:13:30Right.

00:13:31Well, anyway, like we said, good thing.

00:13:33I'm sorry.

00:13:34I'm sorry.

00:13:35I'm sorry.

00:13:36I'm sorry.

00:13:37I'm sorry.

00:13:38I'm sorry.

00:13:39I'm sorry.

00:13:40I'm sorry.

00:13:41I'm sorry.

00:13:42I'm sorry.

00:13:43I'm sorry.

00:13:44I'm sorry.

00:13:45Like we said, good thing.

00:13:46It's been a good addition to our family.

00:13:48Geez.

00:13:49Girls are complicated.

00:13:50Yeah, but TV isn't.

00:13:51Or maybe it is.

00:13:56Damn it.

00:13:58No, no, I'll fix it.

00:14:00Yeah, from the sound of it, girls never seem to say what they're thinking.

00:14:04It's like you need some sort of decoder ring to figure it out.

00:14:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:08Oh, oh, oh, you got it.

00:14:09Who can read that?

00:14:10These are police reports.

00:14:11What were you saying, Eric?

00:14:12I was just saying it.

00:14:13You seem like a good kid.

00:14:14I think you'll fit in just fine at the National Security Agency.

00:14:19Anyway, here's your first code to break.

00:14:26Did a girl write this?

00:14:27It looks like a breakup note.

00:14:29What?

00:14:30Yeah, it looks like she's trying to break up.

00:14:35Impossible.

00:14:36You've had a super computer working on that one for four months.

00:14:40I just read it.

00:14:42No.

00:14:43No, you did much more than that.

00:14:45You're good.

00:14:47Here.

00:14:48Try this one.

00:14:53Looks like she's avoiding sex tonight.

00:14:55It's a common avoidance maneuver.

00:14:57How could we be so blind?

00:15:00Quickly.

00:15:01Come with me.

00:15:05Director.

00:15:06What is the meaning of this?

00:15:07The new guy.

00:15:08He's a crypto analysis prodigy.

00:15:10He can crack anything.

00:15:12Well, is that so?

00:15:14Let's see if he can crack this.

00:15:16It's a trick.

00:15:17It has to be.

00:15:18What do you mean?

00:15:19A yes or no answer will lead to disaster.

00:15:20This is a question not meant to be answered.

00:15:21Where did you get this?

00:15:22My wife.

00:15:23Well, that was...

00:15:24Weird.

00:15:25Yeah, it was almost like...

00:15:26The television.

00:15:27Is watching.

00:15:28You!

00:15:29Okay.

00:15:30After that, I need something to drink.

00:15:31I'll have an MD.

00:15:32What?

00:15:33Oh come on, Eric.

00:15:34You lost to the nose game.

00:15:35You're the last person to touch their nose after a request, so you gotta take the walk

00:15:59Bu ne? Bu ne?

00:15:59Bu ne?

00:16:00Bu ne?

00:16:01Bu ne?

00:16:01Ben bu ne?

00:16:02Genereli bir öğretmen.

00:16:03Bu ne?

00:16:04Bu ne?

00:16:05Bu ne?

00:16:05Ben uluslarımda ve apossal.

00:16:06Bu ne?

00:16:07Bu ne?

00:16:08Bu ne?

00:16:09Bu ne?

00:16:11Ya.

00:16:12Zipin bir savurma anlayı.

00:16:13Zipin bir deyceği yöyce.

00:16:14Yup.

00:16:15Yücey.

00:16:16Yüzün.

00:16:17Yüzün.

00:16:18Buraya.

00:16:19Bırak.

00:16:20Bırak.

00:16:21Bu ne?

00:16:22Bir de yüzey.

00:16:23Bırak.

00:16:24Bu ne?

00:16:25Bırak.

00:16:26İlk.

00:16:27İlk.

00:16:28İlk.

00:16:30İlk.

00:16:31İlk.

00:16:32İlk.

00:16:33İlk.

00:16:34İlk.

00:16:35İlk.

00:16:36Öğürüz bir ifade bir ipin son entering.

00:16:39İlk ne kadar çok forayанизm.

00:16:40Nej.

00:16:41Ne.

00:16:42presenter.

00:16:43IK.

00:16:44Bitti.

00:16:45Bir.

00:16:50Ş salv.

00:16:51Bu ne kadar çok anlıktı halinde incelerde.

00:16:53Şeng.

00:16:54Şarkı.

00:16:55Ayrıca bu malı.

00:16:56Bir şeyin ne yapıyordu.

00:16:58Ama herkes herkesin ne yapıyordu.

00:17:00Ben, bu internetlerim gibi?

00:17:02Ben, onu böyle bir internetlerine iyi bir şeyin var.

00:17:03Ben, bana insanlar yapmamızlıkla.

00:17:05Bir sonraki birçok yerine yaptılar,

00:17:07birçok yerine geçti.

00:17:09Bir sonraki birçok yerine yaptılar.

00:17:10Ne yapadılar.

00:17:11Ama yine, birçok bir şeyin de onu nasıl yapıyordu.

00:17:14Ne?

00:17:15O?

00:17:16Bir sonraki bir insanın kuralleri şeyin bir şeyini yapıyordu.

00:17:17Bir şeyin bir şeyin bir şeyin bir şeyin var.

00:17:19Bir şeyin bir şeyin neyini yapıyordu.

00:17:21Bu bir şeyin bir şeyin.

00:17:23Ben, birçok şey gibi bir şey gibi.

00:17:26Ben, bir arkadaşım var mı?

00:17:28Bir arkadaşımın kendini bir bir şey var.

00:17:30Bir yada bir ürün seviyordu.

00:17:31Bir şey bilmiyordu.

00:17:32Bir şey bilmemiş bir şey bilmiyordu.

00:17:35Çekil bilmiyordu.

00:17:37Çekil bilmiyordu.

00:17:38Bir arkadaşım var bir şey bilmiyordu.

00:17:41Bir de de.

00:17:42Ben, bu insanları gibi bir şey bilmiyordu.

00:17:45Bir şey bilmiyordu.

00:17:47Bir şey bilmiyordu.

00:17:48Hayatım neyivyordu.

00:17:51Kız, bir şey daha.

00:17:52Ben de ''let that slut'' go.

00:17:54Sorry, I've just been thinking about her.

00:17:56She's been acting really weird lately.

00:17:58I mean, I guess I can understand her breaking and entering but bringing that smelly hobo-

00:18:02Dude, just let it go.

00:18:04Alright?

00:18:05Once you realize you're better off living the life of a bachelor,

00:18:08then living the high life like me.

00:18:09Getting drinks served to you, watching all sorts of great TV.

00:18:13One with-

00:18:14Don't say universe.

00:18:15I was gonna say couch.

00:18:18Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:18:19I mean, what do you think about her bringing that hobo in here?

00:18:21I mean, he could have let some germs behind or something.

00:18:23Don't you think it's a little weird that she tried to make it seem like he was her boyfriend?

00:18:26I don't know.

00:18:27I thought it was weirder that we missed him.

00:18:29The second time.

00:18:31Eric, where's that drink?

00:18:33Can't have pizza pie without a cold MD.

00:18:35Yeah, it's coming.

00:18:40You gonna answer that?

00:18:42Nope.

00:18:43What if it's important?

00:18:44Well, if it's important, they'll call back.

00:18:46You're not even gonna screen it?

00:18:47A waste of time?

00:18:48I know I'm not gonna answer it.

00:18:52See? Problem solved.

00:18:57No way, dude.

00:18:58There's only two of us here. You can't do that.

00:19:00Besides, you're closer.

00:19:01Can't deny that.

00:19:05Geez, remind me never to call you if I ever go to the prison.

00:19:09Hello.

00:19:10Oh, hey, Scott.

00:19:12Yeah, we're all here.

00:19:14Nah, Lisa's on the prowl.

00:19:16I don't know.

00:19:18I don't know.

00:19:19I don't know.

00:19:21I don't care.

00:19:22Yeah, okay.

00:19:23See ya.

00:19:27What do you want?

00:19:28He's on his way over.

00:19:29What for?

00:19:30I don't know.

00:19:31Does he wanna watch TV?

00:19:32I don't know.

00:19:33Well, when's he gonna be here?

00:19:34I don't know.

00:19:35What if Lisa sees him?

00:19:36I don't care.

00:19:37Geez, what do you know?

00:19:38Geez, what do you know?

00:19:39I'm fucking thirsty and someone owes me a drink.

00:19:41Eric!

00:19:42Yeah, it's coming.

00:19:43But I found something though.

00:19:45Some sort of doll.

00:19:46You mean one of your action figures?

00:19:48Hey, those are collectible.

00:19:49And no, this is definitely a doll.

00:19:51It looks like some kind of voodoo doll.

00:19:56Geez, look at this thing.

00:19:58Lisa must have left it here.

00:20:00Looks kinda like Neil.

00:20:01Why would you even start something like that?

00:20:04Yeah, it does look like him.

00:20:05You too, Eric?

00:20:06Not really.

00:20:07It looks just like you.

00:20:08It's pretty beat up too.

00:20:09What?

00:20:10It looks like the arms have been stabbed.

00:20:12Oh my god.

00:20:13And it looks like the head's been reattached.

00:20:15It can't be.

00:20:16And right here where the heart used to be is now Twizzler.

00:20:19Well, that's not that bad.

00:20:20It's black licorice.

00:20:21She is psychotic.

00:20:22I wonder if it works.

00:20:24Oh my god, it's working!

00:20:29I started making him kiss his own ass.

00:20:32No, you schmucks.

00:20:33I was just messing with you.

00:20:34Do you think that thing actually works?

00:20:35Well, it might have.

00:20:36I mean, remember that one day we had to reattach your decapitated head?

00:20:39It's just like this voodoo doll.

00:20:41You can't be serious.

00:20:43Oh, wait.

00:20:44That was a dream I had.

00:20:46You dream about me?

00:20:48It's okay, Matt.

00:20:49I dream about you guys too.

00:20:51I don't dream about you guys.

00:20:53Wait, what do you dream about?

00:20:54Just, you know, the three of us living together.

00:20:57Forever.

00:20:58I love it here.

00:20:59That's fucking creepy, dude.

00:21:01What do you dream about Neil's head being cut off?

00:21:02I don't dream about any of you!

00:21:06There, there.

00:21:07We weren't fighting.

00:21:08There, there, Howie.

00:21:09We're upsetting him.

00:21:10I think he'll be okay.

00:21:12He knows we're friends.

00:21:13It's not a real person, Eric.

00:21:15I'm just making a point that Lisa's a crazy psycho bitch with voodoo Neil dolls.

00:21:18Oh, by talking to the remote?

00:21:20By luring him back to the couch with the seductive calls of Howie.

00:21:22It's TV that'll never do you wrong.

00:21:24I'm sure she's just bending or something.

00:21:26You know, getting her anger out in non-harmful ways.

00:21:29I'm sure she's hurt that you guys broke up.

00:21:31She might even be trying to patch things up.

00:21:33Patch things up?

00:21:34What, like my head back to my torso?

00:21:36Eric, Lisa clearly wants this guy dead.

00:21:38I don't know about that.

00:21:40Anger is her form of communication.

00:21:42Unconventional?

00:21:43Yeah, but it's been consistent since the breakup.

00:21:46What I see is that she's planning something bigger.

00:21:49I keep thinking she can't handle this breakup the way I can.

00:21:53I think I need to do something about this.

00:21:55See, there's a problem right there.

00:21:56You're thinking about things.

00:21:58We all know the cure for thinking, don't we boys?

00:22:00TV.

00:22:02It happens here every Friday night.

00:22:05Yeah.

00:22:06Ted over here is going to help us out with this operation.

00:22:08You ready, Ted?

00:22:10Yeah.

00:22:11Let's do this.

00:22:12Come on.

00:22:13Alright.

00:22:14God, they think it's some kind of game.

00:22:16Sick.

00:22:21Hey guys.

00:22:22Ted, what are you doing here?

00:22:24Ted, your character died.

00:22:26Flagroth, the wizard mage died and left the dragon.

00:22:29Go, go, go.

00:22:30Everyone freeze.

00:22:31Everybody freeze.

00:22:32What?

00:22:33What's going on?

00:22:34What?

00:22:35Nothing.

00:22:36I don't have anything.

00:22:37What do you want?

00:22:38Give me that.

00:22:39Dice.

00:22:40That's a felony, man.

00:22:41Oh my God.

00:22:42It's a felony.

00:22:43No.

00:22:44I...

00:22:45I...

00:22:46You can't have them.

00:22:47I need them.

00:22:48Okay.

00:22:49Coming downtown with them, man.

00:22:50What?

00:22:51Coming downtown.

00:22:52You're going to be sick.

00:22:53Oh my God.

00:22:54Oh my God.

00:22:55My mom's going to kill me.

00:23:00Well, that was interesting...ly bad.

00:23:03Man, TV's been sucking recently.

00:23:05Seems like our society is degenerating into a populace that's only interested in lower and

00:23:09lower forms of entertainment.

00:23:10That's perpetuating the de-evolution of our culture.

00:23:15Wow, that was really sophisticated though, dude.

00:23:17Yeah, right on the back of the cereal box.

00:23:19Wow, what kind of cereal do you eat?

00:23:21Philosophicos.

00:23:22Wow.

00:23:23Wow.

00:23:24I was kidding you douchefag.

00:23:26I have to disagree with you, Matt.

00:23:29I'm sure he's a douchefag.

00:23:30I think he meant about the TV sucking, Matt.

00:23:32Here.

00:23:33Let me show you the TV's not completely down the tubes.

00:23:36Careful with them.

00:23:37Soft hands.

00:23:38There's got to be some quality stuff on here to watch.

00:23:39I wouldn't doubt it.

00:23:40TV's got all sorts of hidden gems.

00:23:42You probably won't find much though.

00:23:43Most of it's pretty crappy.

00:23:44I don't know, Matt.

00:23:45We've had some great times in here together.

00:23:47Do us proud, Neil.

00:23:48Good luck.

00:23:50Balls, balls, balls.

00:23:52We've got all sorts of balls.

00:23:54Big balls, little balls, yellow balls, frisbee balls, black balls, blue balls, ugly balls, blue balls, salty balls.

00:23:58Then I mentioned blue balls.

00:23:59Everyone loves balls.

00:24:01Have we got a deal for you.

00:24:03Buy a ball, get a ball.

00:24:04Come in for a pair today at Big Al's Big Balls Emporium.

00:24:09Hmm, QED.

00:24:10Wow.

00:24:11Betrayed by our own TV.

00:24:13How could this be?

00:24:15Oh, it's pretty simple.

00:24:16I mean, people are subjected to many forms of entertainment.

00:24:18And all the new forms have to push the risque limits in order to garner the most attention.

00:24:22It's a recipe for disaster.

00:24:24No, I mean about you being right.

00:24:26You're almost never right.

00:24:27Especially about how your precious TV is losing its luster.

00:24:29Well, you tend to look past it and enjoy it for what it is.

00:24:32I don't know, guys.

00:24:33There's still some good stuff out there.

00:24:34Like this hit new superhero show my internet blogging sites keep talking about.

00:24:38This better not be another one of your stupid Asian cartoons.

00:24:41Geez, Matt, it's called anime.

00:24:43And no, this isn't.

00:24:44Yeah, good.

00:24:45Because I don't think I could take another five minutes of anime lines, overexpressions,

00:24:48and senseless emphasis.

00:24:50What?

00:24:51Oh, come on.

00:24:52Every anime is...

00:24:53Hello!

00:24:54How are you doing?

00:24:55Well, it's none of that.

00:24:56Yeah, we'll see.

00:24:57Heads up.

00:24:58Nice catch.

00:24:59Wouldn't want to hurt your precious baby.

00:25:02Hey.

00:25:03That's all of our babies.

00:25:05Okay.

00:25:06So...

00:25:07For Christ's sake.

00:25:09Hello?

00:25:10Hi.

00:25:11Yep.

00:25:12Mm-hmm.

00:25:13Right here.

00:25:15It's Lisa.

00:25:16Lisa!

00:25:17Yes, Neil.

00:25:18You still have more of my stuff.

00:25:20Don't play Koi, Neil.

00:25:21I know you're there.

00:25:22It was the wrong number.

00:25:25It was Lisa.

00:25:26Is she seriously going to do this?

00:25:27How about that show, Eric?

00:25:28No way.

00:25:29I refuse to have my entertainment sphere be penetrated by this psycho.

00:25:31Either you settle this or I'll settle this or you're going to settle this.

00:25:32Or you're going to settle this.

00:25:33Is it okay?

00:25:34Oh, I'm sorry.

00:25:35I'm sorry.

00:25:36I'm sorry.

00:25:37I'm sorry.

00:25:38I'm sorry.

00:25:39I'm sorry.

00:25:40Let's go.

00:25:41Oh, I'm sorry.

00:25:42I'm sorry.

00:25:43You're sorry.

00:25:44I'm sorry.

00:25:45You're sorry.

00:25:46I'm sorry.

00:25:47I'm sorry.

00:25:48You're sorry.

00:25:49I'm sorry.

00:25:50I'm sorry.

00:25:51İki bu, ya da bu, ya da bu.

00:25:53Y-y-y-yı mı?

00:25:55Y-y-yı mı?

00:25:57Y-y-yı mı?

00:25:59Oh, y-y-yı mı?

00:26:01Lisa! Y'yı mı?

00:26:03Y-yı mı?

00:26:05Oh man.

00:26:06I always wanted to have a bitch in one liner like that.

00:26:08Oh, that settles that.

00:26:10That was extreme.

00:26:11Hey, she had it coming.

00:26:13Why do you always have to be the Bieber in Neal's Dam, Matt?

00:26:17You've been causing a lot of problems lately.

00:26:19Where'd he come up with this stuff, Eric?

00:26:21That was actually pretty...

00:26:26He never answers the first one.

00:26:28Just waiting it out.

00:26:30There.

00:26:34This is something else.

00:26:35I swear to god.

00:26:37Neal?

00:26:38What?

00:26:39No, wait.

00:26:40Lisa has my phone.

00:26:42Good call.

00:26:43I'm proud of you.

00:26:44Just turned it off.

00:26:46I hate when my dome is assaulted.

00:26:48This is why girls are the root of all evil.

00:26:50Let's just get to that show.

00:26:51Maybe you should just talk to her.

00:26:53She has been very forward.

00:26:55Eric!

00:26:56Yeah, okay.

00:26:57This is the college crew.

00:27:00Frat man with a stomach of infinite capacity.

00:27:04Blaine with the power of social invisibility.

00:27:09Has a car lad.

00:27:14Who has a car?

00:27:16And Amazo with the power of telekinesis.

00:27:28Wow, what an awful show.

00:27:29Yeah, there weren't any good superheroes made anymore.

00:27:32Because it can't be the classic superheroes.

00:27:34Like Batman.

00:27:35Please, are you kidding me?

00:27:36Batman?

00:27:37Come on, he wasn't that bad.

00:27:38I don't give any shit about Batman.

00:27:39Ooh, he's not a real superhero.

00:27:40He's got a lot of money.

00:27:41Ooh, he keeps a small boy in a cave.

00:27:43Ooh.

00:27:44Well, that's true.

00:27:45He did keep a small boy in a cave.

00:27:47But he was a dark hero.

00:27:48Bound to service by the events of his childhood.

00:27:50That's not even the fucking problem.

00:27:52And he's basically Sherlock Holmes with a cool accent.

00:27:54And I'm gonna fight crime by being a detective.

00:27:56Yeah, that's cool.

00:27:57Oh, please.

00:27:58Who's your superhero?

00:27:59Spider-Man.

00:28:00The semen slinger?

00:28:01Spider-Man's kinda cool.

00:28:03I guess.

00:28:04At least he actually has superpowers.

00:28:06I mean, Peter Parker's original conception was to make science cool and relate to other

00:28:09teenagers.

00:28:10He was a high school student and he dealt with everyday problems.

00:28:12I could totally see that happening.

00:28:14No, originally Peter Parker was a jock with brains.

00:28:17Totally not happening.

00:28:19At least Batman's a hero that you could go around saying,

00:28:21With a little hard work and studying, I could be him someday.

00:28:24You wouldn't spend the rest of your life looking for a radioactive beetle.

00:28:27Radioactive beetle.

00:28:29Batman couldn't even keep his villains under control.

00:28:31It's a nice job security if you ask me.

00:28:32What?

00:28:33Look, a corporate entity such as Wayne Enterprises must have had a hand in sales such as security

00:28:37devices to shipping and construction.

00:28:39Making sure his villains weren't truly locked away forever, Batman had a pretty good guarantee

00:28:42that Gotham would be facing some tough times ahead.

00:28:45He'd be making profit repairing all the destruction caused by his publicly hated thorns,

00:28:48meanwhile ensuring a positive life for Batman and a financial foothold for Wayne Enterprises.

00:28:52So you're saying Batman actually expects his villains to escape?

00:28:55Totally.

00:28:56If he's so technologically advanced, how come each of his villains has escaped like a hundred times?

00:29:00Well, they have to keep the cast of characters relatively contained.

00:29:02People love seeing some of their favorite villains.

00:29:04Sure, and Bruce Wayne profits from it all.

00:29:06I mean, if you're here as the almighty dollar, then B-Money's your man.

00:29:09Well, what about Superman, guys?

00:29:11He's always been my hero.

00:29:12Okay, talk about the lame.

00:29:14Yeah, totally, come on.

00:29:15Man of Steel, truth, justice, and the American way.

00:29:18The only real American way is Captain America.

00:29:20It's in his fucking title.

00:29:21Yeah, Superman's way too damn powerful to be a good hero.

00:29:24Plus, we should do what we do with all illegal aliens and throw them out of the country.

00:29:28Superman's character is all about the social struggles of being different.

00:29:31Yeah, but he looks great to the flying as Jack Beyond the Leaf.

00:29:34Oh, yeah.

00:29:35That's totally a social outcast.

00:29:37And yet, everything is such a huge struggle for his super strength, too.

00:29:40Like, he can stop a meteor from falling at 500 miles an hour, but he has trouble lifting a fucking car?

00:29:44I mean, it's like super strength is the ability to be just strong enough for a given task.

00:29:48What a crock of shit.

00:29:49Yeah, totally.

00:29:50Kind of like your show, Eric.

00:29:52College kids don't really act like that.

00:29:56Yeah, though...

00:29:57I could use an MD.

00:29:59I'll drive.

00:30:02Woohoo! Team to myself.

00:30:05Eric, hold the fort.

00:30:06And if Lisa comes around again, call the cops.

00:30:08Geez, Duke, why are you gonna keep bringing her up?

00:30:09You can never be too careful, I'm just...

00:30:11No one hangs up on me!

00:30:14Ah!

00:30:15She's still here!

00:30:17Shit, dude.

00:30:18What do we do?

00:30:19What do we do?

00:30:20Why didn't you feel her with your sense?

00:30:21I don't know.

00:30:22I can't go out there now, not with her watching and waiting.

00:30:26Lisa, what do you want?

00:30:28Do you want me to say it in front of everyone?

00:30:30You know what I want!

00:30:33No, I don't.

00:30:34That's why I asked you.

00:30:36No, don't.

00:30:37Shh!

00:30:38Get out of here.

00:30:39I, uh, I think she saw you guys.

00:30:41Neil, just open the door!

00:30:43Don't drive!

00:30:44I'm alright, Neil.

00:30:45I'm alright, open the door.

00:30:48I'm alright, Neil.

00:30:50Open the door.

00:30:51I just wanna talk.

00:30:52I'm alright.

00:30:53Open the door.

00:30:54I'm alright.

00:30:55I'm alright.

00:30:56I'm alright.

00:30:57Neil, open the door.

00:30:58I just wanna talk.

00:30:59I'm alright.

00:31:00Come on, please?

00:31:02Neil?

00:31:03No, no way, man.

00:31:04I've seen this shit before.

00:31:05Don't do it.

00:31:06Neil, just open the door.

00:31:07I just wanna talk.

00:31:08I'm alright.

00:31:09What if she's serious?

00:31:10What if she just wants to talk?

00:31:11No way, man.

00:31:12It's just a lure.

00:31:13I hope praying animals have one.

00:31:14She's just trying to lull you into a false sense of security.

00:31:16Then she's gonna put a fucking axe in your head.

00:31:18Come on, man.

00:31:19You don't need this.

00:31:20Let's go.

00:31:21Neil!

00:31:22Don't ignore me!

00:31:23I think I should go talk to her.

00:31:24No, no, no, no.

00:31:25Shh.

00:31:26You don't need her, alright?

00:31:27Shh.

00:31:28I don't think you should listen to him, Neil.

00:31:29Yeah?

00:31:30Listen to this.

00:31:49Hey there.

00:31:50Hey there, I'm Steve and this is Travels with Steve.

00:31:53On today's adventure, we're going to tell you all about beautiful Worcester, Mass.

00:31:57Get out of here.

00:32:03She's like a zombie or something hanging around our door.

00:32:06No way, a zombie would be smarter. Better looking too.

00:32:09Guys, zombies don't exist.

00:32:11Oh yeah? That's what the government wants you to think.

00:32:13Impossible.

00:32:14You know, Ignat is a zombie's greatest ally. Knowledge, their worst enemy.

00:32:18So you're trying to tell us that The Walking Dead are real?

00:32:20Why wouldn't they be?

00:32:21I mean, think about it. There's hundreds of thousands of undiscovered plant and animal life out there in the world.

00:32:25What's to say The Walking Dead isn't one of them?

00:32:27Science. An organism that survives without the need for oxygen?

00:32:30Evolution at its finest.

00:32:32Animating a dead body?

00:32:33Shutting down a currently functioning one by attacking the central part of the brain.

00:32:37Restarting it as a shell of its former self using electrical impulses already hardwired in all of us.

00:32:41The craving for human flesh?

00:32:43A myth. A source of energy isn't needed by the virus.

00:32:45Though the hunt for living flesh is an unfortunate byproduct of it.

00:32:48No way, zombies aren't threatening. I can power walk faster than then.

00:32:52Oh yeah? A zombie's power, unlike the mythical vampire or otherwise, is in its numbers, not the individual.

00:32:57Their tirelessness and their sheer volume is what makes them so terrifying.

00:33:00If you were confronted with one Z, I'd hope you'd win, but now consider this entire block,

00:33:05or even this whole city, infested. What would you do? Where would you go?

00:33:09I'd, um, I'd go home. I live in the country.

00:33:13Okay. Now consider the psychological threat. What if your father, your mother, or even your best friend became infected?

00:33:20How would you kill that?

00:33:22The constant beating, banging, barraging on the door, disturbing you while you eat, sleep, or watch TV?

00:33:30Stop it, you're scaring me.

00:33:32There, there, Eric. Just trying to save you now while I can. I'll take your mind off it.

00:33:39The most terrifying thing is happening in your bed.

00:33:56In the shower.

00:33:58No matter where you run, you're going to be f***ed by fear.

00:34:06You're not that scared for a chick.

00:34:10Summer 2012!

00:34:13Top one's cough and bottom one's wing and the rest of marbles and the night turtles and marbles.

00:34:18The giant crabs are everywhere! Everyone, run for your lives! Run!

00:34:25Maybe that slut Lisa is infected or something.

00:34:27Is the one that cream I mentioned?

00:34:29Hey, that's not nice.

00:34:30Hey, I'm just saying, maybe she's some sort of demon zombie who craves pissing off her ex-boyfriend

00:34:34and his TV watching friends!

00:34:36No, I mean calling her a... a slut. I don't think that's really nice of you.

00:34:41Sorry dude, but it comes with the territory. I mean, she was the one who decided to go all uber bitch.

00:34:45She can take her title with her.

00:34:47Neil, I'm sure you don't think calling her a... is right, an ex-girlfriend or not.

00:34:52I don't know, I think she slept with about 12 guys. I think. I never really asked her that.

00:34:58I guess that's kind of slutty if you care about that sort of thing.

00:35:00Yeah, see? Total slut. It's not like she, I don't know, sucked 37 dicks or anything.

00:35:04Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's completely different!

00:35:06Come on guys, this isn't right.

00:35:08What do you mean?

00:35:09You're saying that sucking 37 dicks isn't as slutty as sleeping with 12 guys?

00:35:12Totally not.

00:35:13No way.

00:35:14No way.

00:35:15Eric, 37 dicks or 12 guys, which is sluttier?

00:35:18I don't feel comfortable talking about this, guys.

00:35:20Come on, douchefag. May not have an answer to the question.

00:35:23Well, I mean, sexual intercourse is something special shared between two lovers,

00:35:28and it shouldn't be entered in too lightly.

00:35:30I think if a girl is just throwing herself around like that,

00:35:33well then, she's not a very good-willed girl.

00:35:36I can see what you mean.

00:35:38It's just... 37 dicks is a lot of dick.

00:35:42I don't think the term slut should be thrown around like a nickname.

00:35:45You think slut, you think sex.

00:35:4712 guys, total slut.

00:35:48This is like what, 21, 22?

00:35:5023!

00:35:51Right, 23.

00:35:52So let's say she gets her first name when she's 18.

00:35:54That's like three guys per year.

00:35:55Total slut.

00:35:56Well, by that method, let's say she was a teeny bopper

00:35:58and started experimenting when she was 15.

00:36:01With 37 dicks, that's five d per y.

00:36:03Deeper y?

00:36:04Yeah, d per y, dicks per year.

00:36:05Huh.

00:36:06That's not even considering her relationship spans.

00:36:08Even if she wasn't sucking other dick during relationships,

00:36:11an average relationship span of, say, six months,

00:36:14the frequency of dicks has to go up when she's single

00:36:17in order to maintain that five d per y.

00:36:20Oh.

00:36:21I feel awful when I think of it like that.

00:36:24At least I never did anything like that, though.

00:36:26I was just saying that to prove my point.

00:36:28That was a mouthful.

00:36:30You guys are awful saying things like that.

00:36:33Man, that is a lot of dick.

00:36:34I'm gonna have to rethink this one.

00:36:36Man.

00:36:37I could use a drink.

00:36:40Yeah, me too.

00:36:43What are you doing?

00:36:44Not getting my drink.

00:36:46Yeah, but you started with your hand on your nose.

00:36:48That's the game.

00:36:49No, that's total disqualification.

00:36:51You can't start with your finger on your nose.

00:36:53What?

00:36:54Why?

00:36:55Cause then you could just never have to get your own stuff.

00:36:57You get an advantage of being the asker, but that's it.

00:36:59Sorry, dude.

00:37:00I'll have an MD.

00:37:01What?

00:37:02Punishment for your crime against humanity.

00:37:04Humanity?

00:37:05Gonna make an example out of this one.

00:37:07Sorry, Eric.

00:37:08You know, Matt, it seems like I'm always getting you a drink.

00:37:11But someday, somebody else is gonna get mine.

00:37:14Yeah, gotta pick your battles, man.

00:37:27Hey!

00:37:28Ain't nothin'.

00:37:29Not really, I think Lisa's gone.

00:37:30Again?

00:37:31Maybe it's for good this time.

00:37:34She can't really be gone.

00:37:36Why don't you go check?

00:37:37I can't.

00:37:39Why not?

00:37:40She might do something dumb when you saw the voodoo doll.

00:37:42Maybe you're overthinking the situation.

00:37:44Your fear seems out of place.

00:37:46I don't want to get my head cut off.

00:37:48Look, Neil.

00:37:49You want her gone, but you're concerned that she is.

00:37:51Why don't you reassess the situation and then talk to her?

00:37:54Neil, don't listen to this douchebag.

00:37:55Alright, we've had so much fun today, just kicking back and watching TV.

00:37:58It's like I said, girls are high maintenance and dangerous no matter who they are.

00:38:01It's for the better.

00:38:02Yeah, but...

00:38:03Yeah, but you can work, come home and watch TV.

00:38:05We can make fun of Eric together.

00:38:06It's worked for me and life is great.

00:38:08Yeah, but don't you want more?

00:38:09Hell no.

00:38:10I know to go and get more just leads you down a troublesome trail.

00:38:13I'd rather stick with what works.

00:38:14Look, you tried to trek down the love life path and now you're shitting bricks cause of it.

00:38:17So you know what?

00:38:18Come back to the couch.

00:38:19Your seat's getting cold.

00:38:20Neil, just check.

00:38:21Lisa's been at this for some time now.

00:38:24Give her a chance.

00:38:25Trust me, there might still be some electricity left in this one.

00:38:28I think I'm going to listen to Eric on this one, Matt, alright?

00:38:32It'll only be a minute.

00:38:34I'm telling you, dude.

00:38:35Security surrounds this couch.

00:38:36I know it for certain.

00:38:38See you in a bit.

00:38:40I'll wait here.

00:39:10Lisa!

00:39:11Neil!

00:39:12What the hell are you doing?

00:39:14You weren't going to cut that cord, were you?

00:39:16Am I not?

00:39:17Do you want to shock yourself to death?

00:39:18At this point I'd let you if it wasn't powering our TV.

00:39:21Oh, of course.

00:39:22Your precious TV.

00:39:23Geez, Neil.

00:39:24You've really taken a turn for the worse without me.

00:39:26What the hell is wrong with you?

00:39:28You've still got some of my stuff.

00:39:30I was getting to that.

00:39:31You'll get it.

00:39:32I just want to be alone.

00:39:33We are alone.

00:39:35That's not what I meant.

00:39:36We want to watch TV in peace.

00:39:38Is that it?

00:39:39Is that what you're going to do with yourself?

00:39:40Just get a decent job and sit and settle?

00:39:43I want more.

00:39:44You should know what my ambitions are.

00:39:45Then get more.

00:39:46It's not going to come to you in some song and dance.

00:39:49And those buffoons in there aren't going to help you.

00:39:52Well, Matt isn't at least.

00:39:54Those are my friends in there.

00:39:55Well, you have to understand that there comes a time in life

00:39:58where you have to start making decisions for yourself.

00:40:01What choice are you going to make?

00:40:02You're not going to make me do this, are you?

00:40:04Dammit, Neil.

00:40:05If not now, then when?

00:40:06Well, I'm certainly not going to choose you.

00:40:08You're crazy.

00:40:09That wasn't the option.

00:40:10We're over, remember?

00:40:11Yeah.

00:40:12Good thing, too.

00:40:13You say that like it was some sort of prison sentence.

00:40:15Well, I sure as hell feel free now.

00:40:17Dammit, Neil.

00:40:18Why are you siding with them?

00:40:19I didn't even say anything about them.

00:40:21You didn't have to.

00:40:22I came out here to talk to you.

00:40:23No, you came out here to save your precious TV time.

00:40:26What are you, just watching the Spanish shopping channel again?

00:40:29No, we got a long stick.

00:40:32Well, I'm not leaving until I get what's mine.

00:40:35I know you're keeping them.

00:40:37We want you to leave.

00:40:38Why are you being such a bitch?

00:40:40Me?

00:40:41Didn't Matt send you down here to get rid of me?

00:40:44No, I came out here on my own.

00:40:46Liar.

00:40:47You can't make a decision for yourself, Neil.

00:40:50You've got to have someone lead you around or you'll just hang around and veg.

00:40:55Yeah, well, you've got a poor reason for hanging around here.

00:40:58Dammit, I thought this was going to resolve something.

00:41:00Just give me my stuff and we'll solve this issue.

00:41:03You're so damn possessive.

00:41:04Don't just walk away from me.

00:41:06What do you want me to do?

00:41:07You want your stuff?

00:41:08You've already taken everything else that's mine.

00:41:09Isn't that good enough for you?

00:41:10No, not at all.

00:41:12What do you even want them for, anyway?

00:41:15You just want an excuse to stay here, don't you?

00:41:17Yeah, you wish.

00:41:19You're just trying to get me to lead through reverse psychology.

00:41:22Well, it's not going to work.

00:41:23What did I ever see in you?

00:41:24Don't sell a relationship so short.

00:41:27You couldn't enjoy it for what it was worth, remember?

00:41:30Be louder.

00:41:32Yeah, you certainly took a liking to that, didn't you?

00:41:34God, you're an asshole.

00:41:36That is really rubbing off on you.

00:41:38Yeah, well, you're crazy.

00:41:40I told you, don't just walk away from me.

00:41:42Watch me.

00:41:43Go to hell!

00:41:49So what do you think?

00:41:51Is it going to work out?

00:41:53I think I should get mad at the drink.

00:41:54Told you, dude.

00:41:55Total bitch, huh?

00:41:56Neil, don't give up on her yet.

00:41:58If you're trying to pass things up, Eric, you're a fool.

00:42:01You're just overly concerned with what everyone else thinks of her.

00:42:04She can't hate you.

00:42:05She's doing everything in her power to bug the hell out of us.

00:42:08She gives a massacred doll of me.

00:42:10She must really hate me.

00:42:17Welcome back, dude.

00:42:18Damn it, Matt.

00:42:19Hey, I told you.

00:42:20Stability.

00:42:21I can assure you that she'll never treat you wrong.

00:42:23I don't know.

00:42:24I just...

00:42:25I can't help the feeling that Lisa's plotting something bigger.

00:42:27It's not like she's going to blow up the apartment with her brain or anything.

00:42:30I guess so.

00:42:31What do you think Eric's selling to, anyway?

00:42:33Probably just some Asian love-hate theory of his.

00:42:35Like those animes he watches.

00:42:37Oh, look.

00:42:38Here comes the matchmaker now.

00:42:40How do they make it so green?

00:42:42What?

00:42:43Your drink.

00:42:44How do they make it so green?

00:42:46It's like the ooze from Ninja Turtles.

00:42:48You know, I always thought drinking M.D. would make me a turtle.

00:42:54A turtle.

00:42:56Not a martial artist.

00:42:57A turtle?

00:42:58Yeah, I think you'd be evolving the wrong way if you turned into a turtle.

00:43:00Well, then again, for you, that might be an improvement.

00:43:02Did you guys know that the creators of the turtles took cheese graters,

00:43:06and put them on their hand and swung it around?

00:43:08And that's how they came up with the idea for Shredder.

00:43:10Is that what your blogs tell you?

00:43:12Wiki.

00:43:13Oh, right.

00:43:14My second guess.

00:43:15You live on those websites, Eric.

00:43:16And yet you stay culturally ignorant and socially dense.

00:43:19Huh?

00:43:20Why did you win in a fight between the Power Rangers and the Ninja Turtles?

00:43:23Rangers?

00:43:24I'm just surprised you know who the Power Rangers are.

00:43:26Well, it did start out as a Japanese show called Super Sentai Series.

00:43:29That's right.

00:43:30You're an Asian kid stuck in an American body.

00:43:32How could I forget?

00:43:33You're such an Asia-American.

00:43:34What?

00:43:35Asia-American.

00:43:36An American kid so enveloped in Asian culture that he forgets his own roots.

00:43:40It's people like you that allowed the teriyaki flood to come rushing into our country.

00:43:43From food to fashion to entertainment.

00:43:45What, is America not good enough for you?

00:43:47You don't like our cheeseburgers and our fast cars?

00:43:50That's a bit harsh, man.

00:43:51That wouldn't be a fair fight anyway.

00:43:53I mean, there's only four turtles and five Power Rangers.

00:43:55No, it'd still be a fair fight.

00:43:56They got two girls who are just basically one dude.

00:43:58Turtles would still win.

00:43:59Turtles would still win.

00:44:00Oh wait, dude.

00:44:01The Rangers are way better.

00:44:02Dude, they're basically just different nationalities wearing different colored spandex and talking

00:44:06to a giant fucking floating head.

00:44:07Oh, cause talking to a giant rat is cooler than that.

00:44:09Hey, a genetically altered rat who knows martial arts.

00:44:12You can't beat that.

00:44:13They are better trained and more hardcore than the Rainbow Crew.

00:44:16Well, what about the Megazord?

00:44:17Alright, look.

00:44:18Every Power Rangers episode has the same damn formula.

00:44:201.

00:44:21There's a normal human problem.

00:44:22Billy's got homework.

00:44:23Or Kimberly chipped a nail.

00:44:24Oh no!

00:44:25Whatever.

00:44:262.

00:44:27Some big beastie comes down from outer space and gets fought by the Power Rangers.

00:44:293.

00:44:30The creature gets fucking gigantic.

00:44:314.

00:44:32The Rangers call out the Megazord and they go all Godzilla on the city, causing millions

00:44:35in structural and collateral damage.

00:44:37And 5.

00:44:38They finally get around to beating the monster and somehow manage to translate their success

00:44:41back to the problem at the beginning of the episode.

00:44:42By the words repeat, there's no way they could beat the better trained turtles.

00:44:45Well, the pattern was because the American show is comprised of footage from the original

00:44:49Japanese series.

00:44:50Ah, he's right.

00:44:51Bullshit.

00:44:52Not really.

00:44:53Go back and watch the show.

00:44:54They were smart to use helmets to conceal the actors.

00:44:56The American show just cannibalized the footage from the Japanese one.

00:44:59Going all Godzilla was just a result of the Japanese audiences loving that man in a rubber

00:45:02suit type stuff.

00:45:03The L Ranger was originally a dude in Japan.

00:45:05That's why she didn't wear a skirt.

00:45:07Whatever.

00:45:08They still couldn't beat the turtles.

00:45:09But they had the Megazord!

00:45:11Oh, so you're assuming they can use everything at their disposal?

00:45:13Well, of course they'd fucking win.

00:45:14They'd fucking stomp the turtles with their huge fucking robot.

00:45:17Turtles had a blimp?

00:45:18Shut up, Eric.

00:45:19They'd be like pitting a meat covered baby against a...

00:45:22A pit bull.

00:45:23So they would win.

00:45:24Shut up, Eric.

00:45:25Get my pocket knife out here.

00:45:28What the...

00:45:29What the hell?

00:45:30Oh no, that's a midget knife.

00:45:32Yeah!

00:45:33That's a knife.

00:45:34And dude, it's a tower.

00:45:36Seriously, a tower.

00:45:37You don't see that every day.

00:45:39A tower.

00:45:40A medieval tower.

00:45:42Can you imagine this?

00:45:43With cannons and knights and shit?

00:45:45Wow!

00:45:46Jesus Christ.

00:45:47How'd you ever become a doctor?

00:45:49It was in your veins.

00:45:52Yeah!

00:45:53Yeah!

00:45:54Yeah!

00:45:55Fight the fight.

00:45:56I'll fight the fight.

00:45:57Yeah, I'll live for nothing.

00:45:58I'll die for creed.

00:45:59Creed!

00:46:00Ah!

00:46:01Pain in the ass.

00:46:02I gave you an Oscar winning performance last time.

00:46:03And now you come around chase me with a camera.

00:46:05Now I know what it feels like to have the paparazzi chase you around.

00:46:09cause you're so damn popular.

00:46:11This is XL.

00:46:12Yo, yo, yo.

00:46:13My main man Luke here spawned a 1960 pre-Cold War short stack.

00:46:17He's been suffering with his crude Q for some time.

00:46:20Watch what happens when we take his lib locker and turn it into a bib locker.

00:46:25Oh sh...

00:46:26Is that Moloch?

00:46:27No, that...

00:46:28Is that Moloch?

00:46:29Oh my...

00:46:30Is that Moloch?

00:46:31Oh my...

00:46:32That is Moloch!

00:46:33Oh sh...

00:46:34Oh my god!

00:46:35Oh mother...

00:46:36Oh man!

00:46:37It's so...

00:46:38Check out the spinners!

00:46:39The spinners!

00:46:40Oh!

00:46:41Oh my god!

00:46:42Oh sh...

00:46:43Oh sh...

00:46:44Yeah!

00:46:45Yeah!

00:46:46Oh yeah!

00:46:47Oh my god!

00:46:48Oh man!

00:46:49It's so beautiful!

00:46:50I just wanna rub up against it!

00:46:52Oh!

00:46:53It's...

00:46:54It's amazing!

00:46:55It's so...

00:46:56Jeez!

00:46:57Oh my god!

00:46:58Oh my god!

00:46:59All the honeys are gonna be wanting to put their books in my locker!

00:47:01Oh!

00:47:02Oh yeah!

00:47:03Oh yeah!

00:47:04That's the only way I can get through the day.

00:47:18Jeez man, don't drop it in us.

00:47:20Yeah, what are you doing?

00:47:21I'm trying to see if Lisa's still here.

00:47:23Why?

00:47:25Anything?

00:47:26No.

00:47:28She must really be gone.

00:47:29I didn't want to embarrass you, Neil!

00:47:31But now I really don't care!

00:47:33I want my bras back!

00:47:35Guys, do you know what this means?

00:47:37To finally have the support you always dreamed of.

00:47:39No, that I can't sense her anymore.

00:47:41She must be getting around it somehow.

00:47:43Hmm...

00:47:44Maybe...

00:47:45You don't sense your ex-girlfriends,

00:47:47but you only sense people who think of you as an ex-boyfriend.

00:47:50Which would mean...

00:47:51If she's starting to like you again...

00:47:53You can't sense her.

00:47:55That's ridiculous.

00:47:56Get off the couch, Eric.

00:47:58But...

00:47:59No, no.

00:48:00No more ridiculous ideas.

00:48:02I don't know, guys.

00:48:03I think I'm onto something.

00:48:04If she's thinking of you as a boyfriend and all the mushy stuff that comes along with that,

00:48:08I could definitely explain why.

00:48:09You can't sense her.

00:48:10I'd be lucky if she doesn't kill me.

00:48:12Let alone while thinking of me as a boyfriend when she doesn't.

00:48:14Oh, God.

00:48:15This is divine.

00:48:16TV is so much nicer with luxury seating.

00:48:18You guys are so lame!

00:48:19All you do is watch TV!

00:48:20Neil, I'm leaving!

00:48:21Sure this time?

00:48:22Is she really going?

00:48:23This could be it, Neil.

00:48:24She might really be leaving.

00:48:25Who cares?

00:48:26Shh!

00:48:27Seriously, you gotta just chill out, man.

00:48:28Come on.

00:48:29Shh!

00:48:30Just relax.

00:48:31Be happy for once.

00:48:32Matt, will you just have to...

00:48:33Shh!

00:48:34Oh, shit!

00:48:35She's coming in.

00:48:36Do something.

00:48:37You want me to do?

00:48:38Lock the door.

00:48:39It is locked.

00:48:40Grayson!

00:48:41Oh, fuck.

00:48:42Oh, fuck.

00:48:43Oh, fuck.

00:48:45Oh, fuck.

00:48:47Oh, fuck.

00:48:48Oh, fuck.

00:48:49Oh, fuck.

00:48:50Oh, fuck.

00:48:51Oh, fuck.

00:48:52Oh, fuck.

00:48:53Oh, fuck.

00:48:54Oh, fuck.

00:48:56Come on, Eric!

00:48:57Help!

00:48:58I don't want to impede their love.

00:48:59Eric!

00:49:00I thought you said this was locked.

00:49:02I thought it was locked.

00:49:03Guys, it is locked.

00:49:04I locked it.

00:49:05The door is clearly not locked.

00:49:07Ugh!

00:49:08Oh, my God.

00:49:09Fucking door!

00:49:10Fucking slumlord!

00:49:11Fucking slumlord!

00:49:13Dammit, Lisa!

00:49:14Just go away!

00:49:15You guys, it's just me!

00:49:16Scott?

00:49:20Geez, what the hell was that about?

00:49:21I'm sorry.

00:49:22I forgot you were coming.

00:49:23Why didn't you call?

00:49:24You weren't picking up your phone.

00:49:25I mean, we even called the house phone, too.

00:49:26We?

00:49:27Oh, great.

00:49:28That's it.

00:49:29I'm done.

00:49:30What's wrong, Matt?

00:49:31Shannon?

00:49:32Yeah, we had the double date tonight, remember?

00:49:34What's with the security?

00:49:35Lisa's got a bee in her bonnet.

00:49:38A bee in her bonnet?

00:49:39Yeah, like she's pissed off.

00:49:41Oh, why didn't you just say that?

00:49:44What did you do to her?

00:49:45Me?

00:49:46I didn't do anything.

00:49:47Well, you must have, otherwise she wouldn't be mad.

00:49:50Why do you have to say it like that?

00:49:51Because if you didn't start something or just listened to her, then she wouldn't be flipping

00:49:55out right now.

00:49:56She's crazy.

00:49:57Why would I?

00:49:58Dude, no.

00:49:59Don't.

00:50:00Sometimes it's just easier.

00:50:02Good boy.

00:50:04Now shall we?

00:50:05I don't want to be a third wheel.

00:50:07I'm fine just watching TV.

00:50:08Come on, we have tickets already.

00:50:10Why don't you just beg Lisa for her forgiveness and smooth it over with some flowers and chocolate?

00:50:15Yeah.

00:50:16This can still work out.

00:50:17Um, you know what, Shane?

00:50:19Maybe we can cancel tonight.

00:50:20I mean, there are other things we can do.

00:50:22No.

00:50:23No, we're not just going to...

00:50:25It's been like this all day, Eric.

00:50:29Yep.

00:50:30It's not so bad.

00:50:31I just think Lisa and Neil aren't completely over.

00:50:33Wait, they broke up?

00:50:35Supposedly.

00:50:36I think that right now, they're more concerned with what each other thinks of the other.

00:50:41What?

00:50:43Neil thinks Lisa wants to kill him.

00:50:46Oh.

00:50:47Would she?

00:50:49I think she still loves him.

00:50:51But Matt would say otherwise.

00:50:53Matt, huh?

00:51:01What about those hands?

00:51:03There you go, Shane.

00:51:21Lost your couch privileges, huh?

00:51:23Yeah.

00:51:24You, uh, do know there were chairs here, right?

00:51:27We can't use those.

00:51:28That would break the tradition.

00:51:30So...

00:51:37This is it?

00:51:38Listen, I don't know how you slipped past her defenses,

00:51:40but you should be on some double trouble date with Neil and Lisa.

00:51:42But she screwed that up, and now you're sitting here with us.

00:51:44Enjoy the privilege.

00:51:45Wow, I didn't mean to offend your child, Matt.

00:51:48I just wanted to shed a little light on this matter of obsession,

00:51:51and not a light coming from a box.

00:51:53No, you just wanted us to know that you're against our TV-watching ways.

00:51:56What's so wrong with this?

00:51:57What do you got here?

00:51:58Pizza pie.

00:51:59It's for a TV-watching experience.

00:52:00You want some?

00:52:01No, thanks.

00:52:02I was talking to Scott.

00:52:03So, Neil, don't you think you should see what Lisa's doing?

00:52:06He's fine right here, watching some top-notch programming.

00:52:09I was talking to Neil.

00:52:11Oh.

00:52:12I really don't think it's such a good idea.

00:52:13Besides, Matt says that this is for the best.

00:52:15Well, Matt also thinks that toasted bread has fewer calories.

00:52:18The toaster burned some of them away.

00:52:20This is what I'm trying to say.

00:52:22That toasted bread has fewer calories?

00:52:24No, that Neil shouldn't be led around by Matt.

00:52:26I'm leading him around.

00:52:27Oh, yeah?

00:52:28Well, then why doesn't Neil try getting back together with her?

00:52:31She told me things were really heating up between you two.

00:52:33Yeah, I bet they were heating up.

00:52:34What is that supposed to mean?

00:52:35Look, girls think every relationship is some kind of firework show.

00:52:38Like, every love is supposed to be a set of rose petal trails and poems.

00:52:41It's a fabrication by the media, depicting a world of rainbows and lollipops,

00:52:44making it real tough on guys everywhere.

00:52:46Sometimes guys just want to hang out with guys, kick it back, shoot the shit.

00:52:49What is so wrong with that?

00:52:51If guys worked a little harder at what they claim to love, then there wouldn't be trouble in Loveland.

00:52:56Guys are too preoccupied with what their next meal is or when the next TV show is on to give a damn at a relationship.

00:53:03Hey!

00:53:04Is that my Scott?

00:53:05That's because Scott is whipped beyond belief.

00:53:07No, he's not.

00:53:08He totally is.

00:53:09You got him whipped to be the boy you want him to be.

00:53:11Matt, you're just jealous.

00:53:14You're just jealous.

00:53:15Yeah.

00:53:16Yeah, sure.

00:53:17I want to be just like Scott.

00:53:18I read your book the other day, by the way.

00:53:19The Whipping Boy.

00:53:20You don't read books, Matt.

00:53:22Good one, Eric.

00:53:23Scott, tell him you're not whipped.

00:53:25Scott.

00:53:26What?

00:53:27Tell him.

00:53:28I'm not whipped.

00:53:30See?

00:53:31Wow.

00:53:33Yeah, you proved me wrong.

00:53:35That was kind of gross.

00:53:37What?

00:53:38You just bent over backwards for us, Scott.

00:53:40I thought you were going to put up a struggle or something, but...

00:53:43You snapped like a twig bridge.

00:53:45Oh, I did not bend for her.

00:53:48Dude, you totally did.

00:53:49No, he didn't.

00:53:51Scott, stand up for yourself.

00:53:53I didn't, guys.

00:53:55Jeez.

00:53:56Scott.

00:53:57Stop.

00:53:58I'm sorry you have to see this, Eric.

00:54:00This is not a good model for a grown boy.

00:54:02Matt, you are something else.

00:54:04You think that you're the ringleader now that Neil is out of a girlfriend.

00:54:07Well, he didn't make her flip out.

00:54:09Yeah, well, he might as well have.

00:54:11Matt's sense of being in a relationship is that he's made out with a cup of MD more times than he needs to.

00:54:16You have no...

00:54:17Me what?

00:54:19It's sort of unsettling knowing that this couch has seen more ass than you ever will.

00:54:26You have no idea what you're talking about.

00:54:28Oh, no?

00:54:29Have I struck a nerve with you, Matt?

00:54:31I just want you to get a little taste of your own medicine.

00:54:33She's got you good, man.

00:54:34Shut up, Eric.

00:54:35Oh, that's original.

00:54:37Pick on a little guy to boost yourself up.

00:54:39Are you done yet?

00:54:40Do you like it?

00:54:43Like what?

00:54:44The satisfaction of making other people's lives feel broken and imperfect, thus completing your own.

00:54:52Come on, Shannon.

00:54:53No.

00:54:54I just think we've had these tickets forever.

00:54:57And Matt's gone and ruined Neil's relationship for his own satisfaction.

00:55:00I didn't ruin anything.

00:55:02Well, you did tell him to start trying to lead his life without Lisa.

00:55:05I didn't make the decision for him.

00:55:07But you had a big influence.

00:55:08I'm just trying to bring that to light.

00:55:10That's what I've been hearing.

00:55:11But Matt over here is too deaf and dumb to take it to heart.

00:55:15Yeah.

00:55:16If I thought what you said made any sort of sense, I wouldn't do this.

00:55:18Do what?

00:55:19Now you see, what we have here is the beautiful Worcester skyline, covered in trees.

00:55:23But thanks to the saving grace of the Asian Longhorn Beetle, these god-awful obstructions will soon be gone.

00:55:28Forever.

00:55:29Come on, get out of here.

00:55:30I'm working on that damn thing.

00:55:33Anthony, you got the lowest score on the test.

00:55:35I'm afraid you'll never be a doctor.

00:55:40Cal, Cal, give me your diploma.

00:55:42You wouldn't have a hot damn camera.

00:55:44Captain freaking video.

00:55:47Alright, are you done now?

00:55:48Yo, this ain't your grandmama's show.

00:55:50It's Dope TV.

00:55:52Just call up and we'll do s***.

00:55:541-800-Dope TV.

00:55:56What?

00:55:57That's not enough numbers?

00:55:58Put a pound sign in there.

00:56:00Anywhere.

00:56:01We'll figure it out.

00:56:03Dope TV.

00:56:06Hmm.

00:56:07Now's my chance.

00:56:08Scott and Shannon have never played this before.

00:56:11They won't know what hit him.

00:56:13What if I don't make it?

00:56:14I will.

00:56:15Let's do it.

00:56:17I sure could use a drink.

00:56:19What?

00:56:20How?

00:56:21Take the walk, Eric.

00:56:22I'm sorry, Eric.

00:56:23You know you don't have to do this.

00:56:24Matt says it's the rules.

00:56:25I was the last one to touch my nose.

00:56:26Matt also says that dogs roll around in the dirt for minerals.

00:56:27Really?

00:56:28Well then how do they get such nice shiny coats then?

00:56:29How do they get such nice shiny coats then?

00:56:30I don't know.

00:56:31I don't know.

00:56:32I don't know.

00:56:33I don't know.

00:56:34I don't know.

00:56:35I don't know.

00:56:36I don't know.

00:56:37What?

00:56:38How?

00:56:39Take the walk, Eric.

00:56:40I'm sorry, Eric.

00:56:41You know you don't have to do this.

00:56:42Matt says it's the rules.

00:56:43I was the last one to touch my nose.

00:56:44Matt also says that dogs roll around in the dirt for minerals.

00:56:45Really?

00:56:46Well then how do they get such nice shiny coats then?

00:56:47The point is you don't have to be listening to him.

00:56:49Yeah, maybe.

00:56:50But this is how it is.

00:56:52See?

00:56:53I didn't make that choice for him.

00:56:54Well you could have influenced him to make the rules of the world.

00:56:56I don't know.

00:56:57I'm sorry.

00:56:58I'm sorry.

00:56:59I'm sorry.

00:57:00I'm sorry.

00:57:01I'm sorry.

00:57:02I'm sorry.

00:57:03Eric, you know you don't have to do this.

00:57:04Matt says it's the rules.

00:57:06I was the last one to touch my nose.

00:57:07Matt also says that dogs roll around in the dirt for minerals.

00:57:10Really?

00:57:11Well then how do they get such nice shiny coats then?

00:57:12Well what is right anyway?

00:57:15He's got you there.

00:57:16Scott, don't team up with him.

00:57:18Neil, haven't you had enough of this?

00:57:21I don't think this situation is improving.

00:57:23Why aren't you listening to Eric?

00:57:25Eric?

00:57:26I tried and it just stirred up some old flames.

00:57:28Maybe I don't think Lisa's ever going to change.

00:57:30Besides, what's wrong with all this?

00:57:31This?

00:57:32This slump of mindlessness?

00:57:35Hey, watch it, alright?

00:57:36You're treading on thin ice.

00:57:37This is my sphere of entertainment you're talking about.

00:57:39Sphere of entertainment?

00:57:40Don't make it sound so legal.

00:57:41This place has been tuned to perform at its peak level.

00:57:44You blocked the windows with posters.

00:57:46Well there is a nasty glare without them.

00:57:48You have a giant ass remote that you talk to.

00:57:50Hey, whoa!

00:57:51Don't talk about Howie that way.

00:57:52Yeah, he's family.

00:57:53I'm just saying that this sphere isn't offering an environment to grow.

00:57:57Come on, Shannon.

00:57:58It's kind of nice.

00:57:59You know, it's quiet, quaint.

00:58:00I mean, we don't really sit around like this that often.

00:58:02We're always doing... stuff.

00:58:04Right.

00:58:05This is why I don't let you watch TV.

00:58:07It sucks you in.

00:58:08That's why I don't let you go back to Lisa.

00:58:10See?

00:58:11You are holding him back.

00:58:12She's just going to continue to hate and hurt until she gets her stuff back.

00:58:14Then why don't you just give it all back then?

00:58:16Yeah, lure her back here and just smack her.

00:58:18You want me to go to jail, dude?

00:58:19Hey, just don't call me, remember?

00:58:20Matt, you're terrible.

00:58:22I mean, aren't there equal rights nowadays?

00:58:24Oh, you would say that, you caveman.

00:58:27Hey, just saying.

00:58:28Well, you shouldn't.

00:58:30Say something, Scott.

00:58:32Uh, yeah.

00:58:34Yeah, Matt.

00:58:35Don't say such things.

00:58:38Just saying.

00:58:39If I had to deal with someone like Lisa,

00:58:41they could take a smack every now and then when they're out of line.

00:58:43Equal rights means equal opportunity to defend oneself.

00:58:46Yeah, I don't think it works like that.

00:58:48I mean, just cause you, you know, spend time with your lover.

00:58:50You know?

00:58:51Listen to her wants and needs.

00:58:53You know, even just put some tampons in your pocket for her once in a while.

00:58:56Doesn't give you the right to beat a woman.

00:59:00Tampons in the pocket?

00:59:02Dude.

00:59:03What?

00:59:04There are just some lines that shouldn't be crossed.

00:59:06You put tampons in your pocket.

00:59:08You make him put tampons in his pocket.

00:59:10When we go hiking or wherever a person would be a burden.

00:59:14Well, touch them!

00:59:15Dude, that's not the point.

00:59:16That's a violation of your personal space.

00:59:18You're violating his personal space.

00:59:19What is the big deal?

00:59:21What if you get pulled over by the cops or something and they search you?

00:59:24You're gonna look like some kind of weirdo.

00:59:26You gotta defend your limits, dude.

00:59:27I mean, with girls, you gotta be ruthless.

00:59:28Oh, is that panning out for you?

00:59:30It's not like you're looking like a dead dog carrier.

00:59:32Scott, don't!

00:59:33Oh, it's about her?

00:59:34Do tell.

00:59:35Happened back in Beantown.

00:59:37Shannon carries around dead dogs.

00:59:39You carry around dead dogs.

00:59:40It's more than just that.

00:59:42How can it be more than that?

00:59:44It has to do with my friend's dog.

00:59:46While I was dog-sitting it, it died.

00:59:48I put the dog into some luggage to take it to the vet.

00:59:51And as I was getting onto the subway, a guy stopped to help me because I was struggling.

00:59:56And why am I even telling you this?

00:59:58Oh, you're too far in.

00:59:59You can't stop now.

01:00:00I don't want Matt to hear it.

01:00:01What?

01:00:02Just cover your ears.

01:00:04Well, he asked me why I had such heavy luggage and I told him it was computer parts.

01:00:11And when I got to my stop, I went to thank him and he punched me in the face and he took

01:00:16the luggage and he ran.

01:00:18He punched you in the face?

01:00:19Damn it, Matt!

01:00:20Oh my god.

01:00:21He really punched you in the face?

01:00:22Yeah, he did.

01:00:23I couldn't believe it either.

01:00:25Well, what did the guy seem like?

01:00:27Was he sketchy looking?

01:00:28No, the guy was in a suit and tie.

01:00:29It was totally unexpected.

01:00:30You.

01:00:31I think I must think you're some kind of freak carrying around dead dogs.

01:00:34Oh my god.

01:00:35You're going to get remembered as the girl who carries around dead dogs forever.

01:00:38It just goes to show you that men are up to no good.

01:00:41No, it just goes to show you that you should have defended your limits and told your friends

01:00:44to go pick up their own damn dead dog.

01:00:46See, Neil, this is why you shouldn't be getting back with Lisa.

01:00:48She's just going to end up killing your dog.

01:00:50Well, I don't have a dog.

01:00:51Yeah, and you don't have tampons in your pockets either.

01:00:53That's true.

01:00:54I don't want that.

01:00:55Scott, let's salvage this night and go see that play.

01:00:58Oh, do we have to?

01:00:59Yes, Scott.

01:01:00Look at this place.

01:01:02What does it have that makes you want to stay in this dump?

01:01:05The cave of entertainment.

01:01:06Come on, Scott.

01:01:07I'm done here.

01:01:08You're blocking the damn TV.

01:01:09Scott, we're leaving.

01:01:10You know what?

01:01:11I think I want to stay.

01:01:12Call your girlfriend to go out with you.

01:01:13Excuse me?

01:01:14Dude, reconsider.

01:01:15I don't know what you're trying to pull here, Matt, but I have worked too hard on this

01:01:26one to let some brain box pose a bigger influence on him than me.

01:01:30Just go.

01:01:31Just go.

01:01:32Save us.

01:01:33This could get worse.

01:01:34I just want to watch TV with the guys.

01:01:35Yeah, you want that?

01:01:36Yeah, I do.

01:01:37Yeah?

01:01:38Yeah.

01:01:39Grab your ear then.

01:01:41And you two, you better stop watching this thing before you choke on stupid.

01:01:47What?

01:01:48Eric, we're leaving.

01:02:01What?

01:02:02Larry Singer is on next.

01:02:03We love him.

01:02:04Do you really like being here with them?

01:02:07You know, Shannon, sometimes it's just easier.

01:02:10Yeah, and cheaper sometimes, too.

01:02:12Scott, we're going.

01:02:14Yes, ma'am.

01:02:16Boys.

01:02:17We have a unique bond here.

01:02:20Maybe you just can't see it.

01:02:22I just know what works for me and Scott.

01:02:25But I want you to think about what you could be missing in the rest of the world.

01:02:29We're making our own memories here.

01:02:31I'm so good about the rest of the world.

01:02:33What about starting a relationship and having a family?

01:02:38I have a family.

01:02:40One where their IQ passes their age.

01:02:42I like my friends.

01:02:44You like your couch spot, too.

01:02:46Yeah.

01:02:49I'm just saying, I think Matt's been shaken up with a woman on his turf.

01:02:53Maybe with his defenses down, you can get your point across to Neil?

01:02:56Eric!

01:02:57Singer's starting!

01:02:58Coming.

01:02:59Bye, Shannon.

01:03:00Hey, Eric.

01:03:01How's the MD?

01:03:02Just fine, Matt.

01:03:03Gotta pick your battles, man.

01:03:04Are they gone or what?

01:03:05Yeah, they're gone.

01:03:06Man, I was getting worried.

01:03:07I hate having to defend my sphere from women.

01:03:08Matt, what's a chode?

01:03:09What?

01:03:10Before.

01:03:11You called me a chode.

01:03:12What's that?

01:03:13Ah, jeez.

01:03:14Well, it's like a...

01:03:15It's like a...

01:03:16It's a chode.

01:03:17It's like a...

01:03:18Down here or something?

01:03:20Like, I guess?

01:03:21What the hell is that?

01:03:22That doesn't tell me shit.

01:03:23Screw you!

01:03:24It's hard to describe.

01:03:25It's hard to describe.

01:03:26It's hard to describe.

01:03:27That's not bad, man.

01:03:28I was getting worried.

01:03:29I was getting worried.

01:03:30I hate having to defend my sphere from women.

01:03:31Matt, what's a chode?

01:03:32What?

01:03:33Before.

01:03:34You called me a chode.

01:03:35What?

01:03:36本u mu?

01:03:39Yani...

01:03:41...yada bir şey yapabiliyor?

01:03:43Iyek ki.

01:03:44feğel şey!

01:03:45Regarding?

01:03:46식으로 hayal kurutu!

01:03:48Evet, tamam.

01:03:50Bir sonraki öbür bigaya türlü.

01:03:52Ben bir şey yapamadın mı?

01:03:54Çünkü hepsi kadar, bir şey, sizinle bu ifadayız.

01:03:57Ben değil mi, sizinle neyebini olduğunu söylemek bir şey yapmalıyımım?

01:03:59Fakat beni benim yardımcı olmanız?

01:04:01Bir sektör übersham.

01:04:02Bir çöldüm bir, pisapın bir, pisapın.

01:04:06You're always there to help me out.

01:04:08Alright look, I got it.

01:04:09Remember Brian from school?

01:04:11Who?

01:04:12Brian.

01:04:13He was all like tiny and deformed, had like short arms and fingers and shit like that.

01:04:16Oh yeah, didn't he have some rare deformation that screwed with his bones?

01:04:19I don't know.

01:04:20Anyway, he's chodey.

01:04:22Huh.

01:04:23Well, I'm still not really clear on what a chode is,

01:04:25but I guess I'll just think of Brian whenever I hear it.

01:04:28Great.

01:04:29Poor guy can't go one day without someone using his physical deformations as an example.

01:04:32If it gets used as an example, it helps the learning process.

01:04:35He shouldn't always be painted in a negative light like that.

01:04:38Now Eric's gonna think of Brian every time he hears chode.

01:04:40Sorry, object association is the best way to remember it.

01:04:42That's how I do it.

01:04:44What, do you associate girls with like, knives or paint or something?

01:04:47No way.

01:04:48Above all that, my wallet.

01:04:49I just gotta remember how much girls I actually require.

01:04:52Unless you find one at a good rate.

01:04:54Of course.

01:04:56You ever think that letting a girl into your life might actually change it for the better?

01:05:00No.

01:05:01Couldn't picture man with a significant other.

01:05:03Unless she was totally succumbing to his demands.

01:05:05Unable to stay quiet.

01:05:07Unable to react quickly to changing circumstances.

01:05:10Like a computer.

01:05:12So you're saying I need a robot girlfriend?

01:05:14Oh yeah.

01:05:15I'm sure your thumb drive will fit her USB port just fine.

01:05:18At least I'm not like Brian.

01:05:19Chode?

01:05:20See?

01:05:21Come on.

01:05:22Look, all I'm saying is he's so short and squat, it reminds me of a dwarf.

01:05:26I thought he was a chode.

01:05:27Same thing.

01:05:28Just my thumb drive functions way better than his tunican dick.

01:05:31What?

01:05:32Dwarves are so chodey and squat and short, they gotta have tunican dicks.

01:05:36I'll never look at Gimli the same way again.

01:05:39Just a fact of life.

01:05:40Poor guy.

01:05:41It's gotta be tough handling a stump nose like that.

01:05:43He probably deals with it the same way we all deal with our small problems.

01:05:47Readin' a book.

01:05:49Just kidding.

01:05:50You know what?

01:05:51Let's bring him out.

01:05:52Let's bring him out here.

01:05:53Yeah!

01:05:54Yeah!

01:05:55Oh!

01:05:56Oh!

01:05:57Oh!

01:05:58Yeah!

01:05:59Bullshit!

01:06:00Bullshit!

01:06:01Bullshit!

01:06:02He's my man.

01:06:03He's my man.

01:06:04No.

01:06:05Just cause you were born a man.

01:06:06Oh!

01:06:07Oh!

01:06:08Oh!

01:06:09Oh!

01:06:10Oh!

01:06:11Oh!

01:06:12Oh!

01:06:13Oh!

01:06:14Oh!

01:06:15Oh!

01:06:16Oh!

01:06:17Oh!

01:06:18Oh!

01:06:19Oh!

01:06:20Oh!

01:06:21Oh!

01:06:22Oh!

01:06:23Oh!

01:06:24Oh!

01:06:25Oh!

01:06:26Oh!

01:06:27Oh!

01:06:28Oh!

01:06:29Oh!

01:06:30Oh!

01:06:31Oh!

01:06:32Oh!

01:06:33Oh!

01:06:34Oh!

01:06:35Oh!

01:06:36Oh!

01:06:37Oh!

01:06:38Oh!

01:06:39Wow.

01:06:40There's so much swearing on this show.

01:06:42Why do they have to beep it out?

01:06:44Yeah, I know.

01:06:45I mean, we know what they're saying.

01:06:46Why can't they just let it go?

01:06:47Eh, it's probably just a cultural preservation thing.

01:06:49To keep the public away from it for as long as fucking possible.

01:06:52Yeah, but it cuts off the dialogue and it makes everyone sound like a robot.

01:06:56Well, in that case, R2-D2 probably cusses like a fucking sailor.

01:06:59All it does is bloop and bleep.

01:07:00What?

01:07:01Think about it.

01:07:02If all the other bots could speak, why wouldn't they put voice modulators into the R2 models?

01:07:06He probably didn't need one.

01:07:07I mean, wasn't his job just to talk to the ships?

01:07:09The R2 models must have been programmed to cuss like hell, and to preserve the culture

01:07:12of the galaxy, they were all bleeped.

01:07:14So you're saying that every time R2-D2 makes any noises, he's cussing like a truck driver?

01:07:18R2, shut down all the garbage compactors on the detention levels!

01:07:21No, shut them all down!

01:07:23Beedipo-boop!

01:07:24Oh, hell no!

01:07:25I'm not sticking my fucking dick into another fucking computer!

01:07:27Last time I did that, I got a fucking virus, you son of a bitch!

01:07:30You hacked that shit yourself, you asshole!

01:07:32Wow!

01:07:33That's disturbing.

01:07:35Oh, right R2, we'll take care of everything!

01:07:40Beedipo-boop!

01:07:41Yeah, you better you fuckhead!

01:07:42Seriously, what the fuck?

01:07:43I used to have my jets, where'd the hell they go?

01:07:45I want my flamethrower back!

01:07:46I can't do shit with this little fucking taser thing I got!

01:07:49I used to fucking fly, can you believe that?

01:07:51You have any idea how fucking annoying that is to roll around when I could fucking fly

01:07:54at one point?

01:07:55God damn it, you tell them to suck my fucking little metal dick!

01:07:58If only you used your time for something more constructive.

01:08:02Yeah, if I had 10% of the free time you have, I'd have like 7 extra hours in my day.

01:08:07You're saying my days have 70 hours in them?

01:08:10Yeah, yeah, you're that lazy.

01:08:12Okay, whatever.

01:08:14Can I get back on the couch now?

01:08:16Sorry, Eric, the couch is for winners.

01:08:18Nah, he's right.

01:08:19Bullshit!

01:08:21I am sick and tired of this, Matt!

01:08:24You are not right!

01:08:25Turn off the TV!

01:08:26Fuck no.

01:08:27Hey, hey, what the f-

01:08:29I've tried to be nice, but I don't think I can take it anymore.

01:08:31Eric, turn to the fucking TV!

01:08:32Quiet!

01:08:33Do you hear that?

01:08:38No, it's completely quiet.

01:08:39No, listen.

01:08:41God.

01:08:45It is quiet.

01:08:47Maybe Lisa's really gone.

01:08:48Exactly, they can watch TV in peace.

01:08:50No, Matt.

01:08:51I have to do this.

01:08:54Maybe she's still here.

01:08:55And maybe she's not.

01:08:57Maybe we should go check.

01:08:58I still think there's something here, Neil.

01:09:00You and Lisa have been longing for each other, but you express it through your anger.

01:09:03It's too dangerous.

01:09:04This could all be part of a plan.

01:09:05Or in your case, it's paranoia.

01:09:07I listened to you before, Eric.

01:09:09What's going to change now?

01:09:10You, Neil.

01:09:11You have to change.

01:09:12You can't keep wanting what other people want you to want.

01:09:14You have to want whatever it is that you really do want.

01:09:16What?

01:09:17A life living fear is a life half lived.

01:09:20It sounds to me like you don't want Lisa to be gone.

01:09:23Aren't you at least curious whether she wants you back or not?

01:09:25Or do you just want to watch some more TV?

01:09:27No way, Neil.

01:09:28Look.

01:09:29This is for the better, alright?

01:09:30You can watch way more TV without her.

01:09:31Don't you want more than that, Neil?

01:09:32I do.

01:09:33What if she's waiting for you right now?

01:09:34I have to go get her.

01:09:35Well, she's certainly not going to come to you.

01:09:37She's been trying, but you keep the door locked.

01:09:39Shittily.

01:09:40What do you want, Eric?

01:09:43It doesn't matter what I want.

01:09:44I just want to help you make the right choice.

01:09:48We should check if she's still here.

01:09:49Matt, go get the door, Eric.

01:09:51Check that window.

01:09:52I'll get this one.

01:09:53Ready? Go.

01:10:01Clear!

01:10:02Clear.

01:10:03All clear here, too.

01:10:09Guess she's really gone.

01:10:12I wonder where she went.

01:10:13Who cares?

01:10:14Seriously, dude.

01:10:15It's probably just post-traumatic breakup residue or something.

01:10:18It'll pass.

01:10:19Look, we got a good thing here.

01:10:20Let's just keep it forever, yeah?

01:10:22I just thought I was onto something.

01:10:26Jeez, Bruce.

01:10:27Thanks for coming out here on such short notice to see me.

01:10:29I know you have that deadline for that new office building next Monday.

01:10:32and your car just got towed and-

01:10:34Hey, I only had to take two buses and a cab to get here.

01:10:37You're worth it.

01:10:38Thanks.

01:10:39I just really needed to talk to someone.

01:10:41I can see that.

01:10:43You sounded distressed when I talked to you on the phone.

01:10:45Yeah, I don't really want to talk about that.

01:10:48I just want to talk to someone else about anything else.

01:10:51Okay, uh, how about politics?

01:10:53No way!

01:10:54Politics are terrible!

01:10:55It's about who has the most pull and the most money.

01:10:58It's not even a representation of the people anymore.

01:11:00Don't even get me started.

01:11:02Okay, fine.

01:11:03Um, how about superpowers?

01:11:05Oh yeah?

01:11:06What about them?

01:11:08I've just always had this theory that everyone has a secret power hidden inside of them.

01:11:13You mean how Bruce Wayne is really Batman?

01:11:17No, even less than that.

01:11:18I just think that everyone has something inside of them.

01:11:21Like a power or a talent.

01:11:23Besides, Batman isn't a superhero.

01:11:26So it's something you're born with?

01:11:29Yeah.

01:11:30Maybe something trivial, like the ability to always know where your car keys are.

01:11:34Or maybe something so great that the government has to snatch you up and erase your existence.

01:11:38But I think everyone has something.

01:11:41Right.

01:11:42Surely you have some evidence to back this up?

01:11:45Well, take my power for instance.

01:11:47Your power to make little babies cry by looking at them?

01:11:51No, silly.

01:11:52I have the power to instill desire in females.

01:11:55Oh, you're serious?

01:12:01Fat lot that did you.

01:12:04You're still a virgin.

01:12:06That's by choice.

01:12:10Well, how come you've never used this on me?

01:12:11Because it goes against my superhero code of ethics.

01:12:14I would never enchant a taken woman.

01:12:16Let's not bring him into this.

01:12:18Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it.

01:12:19I was just trying to prove my power.

01:12:21Well, I'll be honest with you.

01:12:22You're not doing a very good job.

01:12:24It seems like all men think they have this power by force or wealth.

01:12:29It's not too attractive if you ask me.

01:12:32I enjoy a man who needs his woman.

01:12:35Who can't sleep if she's not next to him.

01:12:39A...

01:12:40A pushover.

01:12:41A romantic.

01:12:42Huh?

01:12:44Hey!

01:12:45Aha!

01:12:46Did you notice anything strange about that?

01:12:48That people in the city would step on you as soon as they look at you?

01:12:52No.

01:12:53What we just saw was a byproduct of Homeless Al's superpower.

01:12:57His power?

01:12:58To live off baked beans and brandy?

01:13:01No.

01:13:02Judging by his survival rate, Homeless Al has the ability to survive hypothermia every night.

01:13:07Which is a pretty good superpower for a homeless guy.

01:13:10But it comes at great cost.

01:13:12Ooh, the plot thickens.

01:13:14Yep.

01:13:15No one seems to notice him as they walk by.

01:13:17To the point where they stumble over him because he's practically invisible.

01:13:20A tragic superhero flaw.

01:13:23So instead of proving that everyone has a superpower, you just prove that everyone in the city is an asshole.

01:13:29Congratulations.

01:13:30Alright.

01:13:31Well, take Nelson here.

01:13:33Nelson.

01:13:34Ooh, did he share your power over women?

01:13:37No.

01:13:38No.

01:13:39Nelson has the ability to instantly transform his environment into a kung fu movie.

01:13:45I have yet to see it, but someday it will be a spectacle to behold.

01:13:51Okay, let's say I believe you.

01:13:55What would my superpower be?

01:13:57I've always wanted to be in a musical, or blow up my ex-boyfriend with my brains.

01:14:02Well, that's radically different.

01:14:04Um, but how about something more useful?

01:14:07Like the ability to move on.

01:14:09Let go.

01:14:10Let go?

01:14:11Like, let go of my hands around his throat?

01:14:14No, I mean, turn the other cheek.

01:14:16Look to greener pastures.

01:14:18Go out with someone who thinks they're smart, funny, and beautiful.

01:14:22That'd be like giving up without a fight.

01:14:24Well, maybe that someone is right in front of you and you haven't even noticed it yet.

01:14:27Huh?

01:14:28Sorry, I was thinking.

01:14:30God, I must have hit you hard when he dumped you.

01:14:33Is that what he's telling people?

01:14:34I dumped him.

01:14:35What?

01:14:36Are you kidding me?

01:14:37Then why are you still stalking the poor bastard?

01:14:39Um, I can't say.

01:14:41Look, Lisa, I mean this in the nicest way possible.

01:14:44You need psychiatric help.

01:14:46The only reason that you still pursue someone, someone that you dumped, is that you have serious

01:14:52mental issues.

01:14:53Or that you still seriously like the person.

01:14:56I think you need to move on.

01:14:58Hmm.

01:14:59I never thought about it that way.

01:15:02You're right.

01:15:04Yeah?

01:15:05Yeah.

01:15:06Yeah.

01:15:07Yeah.

01:15:08I don't know how I could have been so blind.

01:15:11Lisa, I...

01:15:12It was never about getting my stuff back.

01:15:13Thanks, Bruce.

01:15:14Lisa, wait!

01:15:15I...

01:15:16Fuck!

01:15:17What?

01:15:18What about you?

01:15:19You're right.

01:15:20What about you?

01:15:21What about you?

01:15:22What about you?

01:15:23Uh-huh.

01:15:25It was never about getting my stuff back.

01:15:27Thanks, Bruce.

01:15:28Lisa, wait.

01:15:29I...

01:15:30Oh, fuck!

01:16:38İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.

01:16:41Yodin, no!

01:16:42Merak you too!

01:16:43Eric, şut the fuck up!

01:16:50My remote!

01:16:53You're keeping this too?

01:16:57Steal my stuff.

01:17:04And this is for my bra.

01:17:06I haven't been able to change my channels, Neal.

01:17:13I thought you might have changed, but you still only care about TV.

01:17:16But I have changed. I'm choosing you.

01:17:18Dammit, Neal. You are never going to change.

01:17:21I have done everything for you, Neal.

01:17:23And you just sit and be controlled.

01:17:26Well, not anymore.

01:17:31Lisa, no!

01:17:32Howie, no!

01:17:33Lisa!

01:17:34Howie!

01:17:35Howie!

01:17:36She took the remote.

01:17:37You can't change this shit.

01:17:39It's not even TV.

01:17:40Dammit when you're TV.

01:17:41That's what got me in this mess in the first place.

01:17:43Hey! It's what we have together, dude.

01:17:44Yeah, don't blame him in the TV. This is your fault.

01:17:46Shut up, Eric.

01:17:47Don't pass the blame around.

01:17:49You're the one who lost everything, so do something about it.

01:17:51If you want, Lisa, go get her.

01:17:52Forget that! Go get Howie!

01:17:53Damn it, dude. I was just trying to show you that it's your decision to make.

01:18:02Come on, man. Now we got nothing.

01:18:04Who kept this together is gone.

01:18:06You know, maybe Lisa is a little off kilter, but I can't tell you if you love her or not.

01:18:11Forget this, man. God damn it, Neil!

01:18:16Thank you.

01:18:37Thank you.

01:18:38Thank you.

01:18:40Thank you.

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