- 10 hours ago
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00:00Okay boys, watch this.
00:30There you go Barry.
00:34Usual please Clive.
00:35So what are you paying to?
00:37Just my flat before I sell it.
00:39Sell the flat?
00:40Do you ever listen?
00:41So me and Julie can go travelling.
00:43They buy a place together.
00:44I'm going to ask her to marry me.
00:46Congratulations, you're a wonderful couple.
00:49Are you mad?
00:50Do you want to get tied down for?
00:52Have another point and we'll talk about it properly.
00:54Oh no, no I can't stay long.
00:55Me and Julie are cutting down on the drinking.
00:57See what I mean?
00:58Who's the best footballer in the world?
01:00George Best.
01:01Who's the best actor in the world?
01:02Oliver Reed.
01:03Both love a drink.
01:05Not doing them any harm.
01:06Well I don't know if that-
01:07Hold on a second Roger.
01:08If you've got a few quid, the brewery is selling this place.
01:11Imagine that Barry.
01:13Your own pub.
01:14Better than wasting money on a house, isn't it?
01:16You'd be a brilliant landlord.
01:18Well Julie wouldn't like it.
01:20Any more fish in the sea?
01:22Better fish.
01:23More understanding fish.
01:25You could really build something here Barry.
01:27A future.
01:28So I said to him.
01:29I haven't got any cherries.
01:30But you can have a double vodka.
01:31Or you can get on my pub.
01:32Your pub?
01:33Your rules Barry.
01:34I have to go soon.
01:35I've got yoga at six.
01:36Yoga?
01:37You've changed.
01:38I can't sit in a pub all day.
01:39I've got to look after myself better.
01:40You can leave out of Barry's book.
01:41Look at him.
01:42He's older.
01:43He hasn't slowed down.
01:44And I never will.
01:45Thanks to you old mate.
01:46Yes.
01:47And that is called living your life.
01:48I don't think any of us could see this coming.
01:49I don't think any of us could see this coming.
02:17I don't think any of us could see this coming.
02:19Maybe."
02:20What is someone who comes out like.
02:22You could go first.
02:23You should acknowledge that
02:49Death is sad. Very sad. No two ways about it.
03:01And I should know, I died.
03:04In fact, I was going to have my service here,
03:07but there were just too many people, apparently.
03:10Hundreds. A real outpour and a grief.
03:13This fella, inconsolable.
03:16Wasn't he, Rog?
03:16Rog. Probably felt guilty that he'd outlived me.
03:20But, in the end, as you can all see, he didn't.
03:25So, in a way, I don't think anybody would be happier here today than Barry.
03:34Now, Barry's sister's lovely grandchildren
03:36wanted to finish the service by reading a poem
03:38they've written especially for Barry,
03:39but we haven't got the time.
03:44But it was very good.
03:45Lots of we love Uncle Barry, we miss Uncle Barry.
03:48Usual sort of thing.
03:50Nothing particularly groundbreaking.
03:53Right, I think that's everything.
03:55Cheers, Barry.
03:56See you on the other side.
03:57As I'm sure you're all aware,
04:08the funding cuts mean we'll have to look at ways to save costs,
04:11and that might mean redundancy.
04:12How does a 75-year-old man go from the prime of his life of one second
04:15to dead the next?
04:17Can you please stop doing that?
04:19Obviously, Barry got a lot of things right,
04:21but for whatever reason, he was single his whole life.
04:22I don't want that.
04:24I just want to die alone.
04:25Not again.
04:26I'll be given a second chance, Lucy.
04:28I can't waste it.
04:30This is not a work matter.
04:31I want someone to share my life with.
04:34I want someone to share this with.
04:36Any of you single friends after a good man?
04:38Well, most of my single friends are looking for a good woman.
04:42They haven't met me yet.
04:44Don't make me explain same-sex relationships to you again.
04:50Mum, what are you doing here?
04:52Just fancied a chat, really.
04:54Everything OK?
04:56Your driving instructor told me you'd cancelled your lessons.
04:59Do you want to tell me why?
05:01It's fine if you don't.
05:02No.
05:03Respect that.
05:06Tell me.
05:07I just...
05:09I don't want to drive anymore.
05:11I'm not very good at it and it makes me anxious.
05:15I get that, but you can't just not try because it's uncomfortable.
05:20I know.
05:21I'll teach you.
05:23We'll start now.
05:23It'll be fun.
05:24Mum, I really don't want to.
05:27I said it'll be fun.
05:28Come on.
05:31Get in.
05:32So, I've set you up with a profile.
05:38Loads of women on there.
05:39Are they weirdos?
05:40I don't mind if they are, but nice to know.
05:42Just read their profiles and if you feel a connection with any of them, swipe right.
05:47OK.
05:51There we go.
05:52Swipe right in all of those.
05:53Ooh.
05:54Classy.
05:55Scattergun approach.
05:56So, do they arrive one at a time or all together?
05:58I'm easy either way.
05:59They don't arrive.
06:01If you get matched, if they like you too, then you can arrange to meet up.
06:05Brilliant.
06:06Well, I'll leave that with you.
06:07One thing I'll say yes, get their phone number, tell them I'll take them somewhere nice.
06:10And well done.
06:11You would have made a bloody good secretary for me back in my day.
06:13Well, I'm not.
06:14I'm your bloody good boss in my day.
06:17Like if you're getting in my boss.
06:19It is mad, isn't it?
06:20See you later.
06:22OK.
06:23Reversing into a parking bay.
06:25All right.
06:25So, slowly back.
06:27Slowly.
06:28Left, left, left.
06:29Full lock, full, full lock.
06:30What does that mean?
06:31Well, I don't know.
06:32It's what my instructor always said.
06:33Keep turning.
06:35Keep turning.
06:35Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm cycling.
06:37The one over there.
06:41Nine dates, Rog.
06:42Nine.
06:43These app things, fair play.
06:46What a time to be alive.
06:47No offence, Barry.
06:50Speaking of which, any ideas where we can scatter the ashes?
06:54I was thinking maybe the river.
06:56There's a spot where we've been fishing a couple of times.
06:59It's very peaceful.
07:00You hate that.
07:01Fishing's stupid.
07:03Now, think of somewhere you'd love.
07:05The betting shop?
07:06Gregg's?
07:07I've got it.
07:08Top of Panavan.
07:09You'd love that up there.
07:10Really?
07:11It's a long way to go.
07:12And I don't think I can make it up a mountain.
07:14Course you can.
07:15We'll go this weekend.
07:16Scatter his ashes, say a few words, come back down, test out a few new pubs.
07:20Happy with that, Barry?
07:22Barry's happy with that.
07:23Right, well, I've got to go and have an intimate dinner with nine different women.
07:27Just want Barry what I wanted.
07:28See you later.
07:32Straighten up.
07:33Straighten up.
07:35Straighten up.
07:37Okay.
07:37Right, we are never doing that again.
07:41What was wrong?
07:42Grabbing the wheel all the time, covering your eyes at roundabout, shouting, indecision kills
07:46at junctions.
07:46I just can't, I can't deal with it.
07:48No, sorry, Mum.
07:49You're the worst teacher I've ever had, including Grandad, and he ran me over in a P lesson,
07:54so I just can't.
08:00Even I could not run an avalanche.
08:02So there I was, frozen under the ice, but the great director in the sky wasn't ready
08:07to write me out of the film.
08:09That's not a line.
08:10We've been here an hour and a half, and you haven't asked anything about me.
08:15No, it's just that life story-wise, there's no comparison.
08:18I came back from the dead.
08:20You're such a dick.
08:24Bye.
08:25Be interested in them.
08:35You think you're not going to become one of those crazy dog ladies, and then you'll find
08:40yourself in the park shouting, good boy, who's a good boy, you's a good boy?
08:44Oh, that is a brilliant story.
08:46I'm so interested in you.
08:48So, are you an animal lover?
08:50Oh, yeah, yeah.
08:50I've got a guinea pig in the form room, mainly to keep the thick kids happy.
08:53The thick kids.
08:55Yeah, I love thick kids.
08:57Like I always say, ignorance can be bliss.
08:59Yeah, no, this isn't going to work.
09:01No?
09:01No, I need someone who shares my ethics.
09:04Oh.
09:09You can make your own pop-noms, of course, quite easy, but they will make the kitchen stink.
09:17Oh, that's a lovely name.
09:18That was one of the, uh, Charlie's Angels.
09:21Yeah, the dead one.
09:23Please take a seat.
09:28I would get up, but, uh, you know, I'm sat down.
09:32Yeah, bye then.
09:35So what do you do for a living, uh, Sarah?
09:39I run my own bespoke ethical digital marketing company.
09:42Great.
09:43I love ethics.
09:44Really?
09:45In what way?
09:46Generally.
09:47So tell me about yourself.
09:50What sort of woman are you?
09:51Um, well, I'm not really into labels.
09:54Um, I don't want to be put in a box.
09:56God, that is so interesting.
09:57Let me just get you a glass of wine.
10:01Oh, I don't drink.
10:02No, do I?
10:03Uh, two points of squash, please, Chief.
10:05I had a great time.
10:12So did I.
10:13You are not what I was expecting at all.
10:15You look like a throwback.
10:18But then inside, there's this modern, sensitive man.
10:21Yes, there is.
10:22Yes, there is.
10:23Well, um, this is me.
10:27Wow, look at that thing.
10:29I mean, who actually drives a polluting old penis extension like that?
10:32We will never know.
10:33Actually walked here today.
10:35Plant that a tree on the way for the carbon.
10:40I had a lovely time.
10:41I'd love to do this again.
10:42Yes, please.
10:45Wonderful.
10:46Take care.
10:48Ride safely.
10:53Oh, he's back.
11:08It's love, Lucy.
11:09True love.
11:11You've been on three dates.
11:13Do you even have anything in common?
11:15She's very modern.
11:17She loves the environment and all that.
11:18Oh, so no, then.
11:19She doesn't know that, does she?
11:20I'm playing the long game.
11:21Who's that?
11:24That is Sarah.
11:25Hey, Sarah, how's it going?
11:27Anthony.
11:28You OK?
11:29Sarah, this is Lucy, my mixed-race lesbian friend.
11:33Anthony's told me all about you
11:34and what an ally he's been to you and your partner.
11:37Oh, yeah.
11:38Thank God for Anthony.
11:40What?
11:40I've brought you lunch.
11:42Oh, lunch.
11:42It's a tender stone broccoli poke bowl.
11:44A poke bowl?
11:45Mm-hmm.
11:45God, I've been craving that all morning.
11:47Mm, you should have a bite now.
11:48What, I wouldn't want to spoil it.
11:49Mr. Marmoth?
11:50Yes, Kyle?
11:51My mum said thanks again for teaching me
11:54that my behaviour was toxically masculine.
11:56It's OK.
11:58Mr. Marmoth?
11:59Yes, dear?
12:00Thank you for helping me navigate being LGBTQ+.
12:03Oh, bless you.
12:05We haven't got time for this, boys.
12:07Let's, er, kick off.
12:12Oh, for God's sake.
12:15OK.
12:16I've got a little surprise for you.
12:22Oh.
12:23I've booked us a weekend away together.
12:25Somewhere romantic, is it?
12:26Was it Paris?
12:27Rome?
12:28It's, er...
12:29Oh.
12:30The Life Glow Wellness Retreat.
12:32Find your tribe.
12:34Reconnect with your spirit.
12:35You're going to love this.
12:36Oh, that's why you'll be street in her.
12:38Yeah, she knows me.
12:38We're going to be glamping in a yurt.
12:41Oh, God.
12:43Amazing.
12:44Amazing.
12:44I'd better go.
12:45Oh, there you are.
12:47Bye.
12:47Thanks, glamping in a yurt.
12:49Come on.
12:51What was glamping in a yurt?
12:53This is offering you sex in a post-tent.
12:55Put that in the bin for me.
13:01God, it's heavy, isn't it?
13:02Yeah.
13:02Glad you're carrying it.
13:03Not me.
13:05Oh, this feels sad.
13:07The three amigos on their last journey.
13:10Two amigos.
13:11This amigo has got plans with Sarah.
13:13What?
13:14Yeah.
13:14You're not coming?
13:15No.
13:15What about Barry?
13:16He's not going to mind, is he?
13:18I know I'm doing this for him.
13:19Spending the weekend with a woman.
13:20Putting myself first for once.
13:21Because he wouldn't want me to end up all alone like him.
13:25And you, obviously.
13:26Selfish.
13:27Selfish?
13:27I've got to spend a weekend with a load of hippies.
13:29There's no beer.
13:30There's no telly.
13:31It's the last place I want to be.
13:32How am I supposed to get there?
13:34Drive your car up there.
13:35Doctor said I shouldn't drive.
13:37He said shouldn't, not couldn't.
13:39You'll be fine.
13:40And when you get there, give him a lovely send-off.
13:42I was thinking maybe I'd read out a poem.
13:45Or a song.
13:46That's a rubbish idea.
13:48Barry didn't like poems and songs.
13:49He loved TV theme tunes.
13:51Choose one of those.
13:51Which one?
13:52I don't know.
13:54I can't do all the lifting, can I?
13:55For God's sake, cheer up, Roger.
13:58Barry wouldn't want you to be down.
13:59Ready for your next lesson?
14:04I can't.
14:05I've hurt my arm.
14:08Bowling.
14:08Theo, if you're going to lie, make it believable.
14:10I know you're scared of wearing bowling shoes.
14:12Please, Mum.
14:13I just, I don't want to.
14:15I get it.
14:16Last time I was too full on.
14:18But I've been reading a parenting book.
14:19Well, an audio book.
14:20Well, actually, just listening to the free sample.
14:23And, long story short, I need to nurture, not block.
14:27I want you to grow.
14:29Can I grow by just using the bus and not learning to drive with you?
14:33No.
14:34Come on.
14:34What the?
14:41Where's my car?
14:43Maybe this is fate.
14:49Not unless fate is a selfish pain in the arse with a big moustache.
15:02Anthony, you came!
15:04Whoa.
15:05Your clothes?
15:06Don't say it.
15:07I look like Demis Roussos.
15:12No, just that I connect with nature.
15:14Yeah.
15:15Yeah, so you're going to get changed, or?
15:17That's so funny.
15:18I know, I know.
15:19Oh, and of course you drive an electric car.
15:22Wow.
15:22We're doing my bit for the planet.
15:23Yeah.
15:23We've only got the one, haven't we?
15:26We should go say hi to everyone.
15:27Yeah, we could do that.
15:28Should we first go to the yurt?
15:30And we can do a little bit of glamping?
15:33Yeah.
15:33Oh, our final guest.
15:38Hello.
15:39I'm the retreat facilitator, Marcus.
15:42Let's all take a moment before entering to be mindful.
15:45We leave our cliches outside.
15:47So, I mean, take the shoes off.
15:48Oh, uh, cliches, it's Sanskrit.
15:52It means, um, negativity.
15:54Oh, I knew that, yeah.
15:54Yeah, yeah.
15:55Just leave the negativities outside.
15:57What's that?
15:58Oh!
15:58He's in bloody Brecon.
16:01Honestly, Theo, I know you look up to him and he's your granddad, but he has overstepped
16:05the mark.
16:06Stealing a car is wrong.
16:08We should go and get it back.
16:10How?
16:10We don't have a car.
16:11We could take his car and get mine back.
16:14Driving lessons back on.
16:15What happened to stealing a car is wrong?
16:18It's different context.
16:19I don't want to drive to Brecon or anywhere.
16:21Please, Mum.
16:22I'll show you what a good teacher I could be.
16:24It'll be fun!
16:25It'll be like Thelma and Louise.
16:26They drove off a cliff and died?
16:28Yes, but they had fun first.
16:30Let's roll, sister.
16:33That's it.
16:34I thought we'd start with group yoga, then a session on breathing.
16:40Think we've all cracked the old breathing, Mum.
16:42Been doing it for years.
16:43Then a guided walk to connect with nature, followed by foraging for dinner.
16:48400 quid this, Cos.
16:50I'm not even laying on food.
16:52Yes, I'm not.
17:03So, get settled on your mats in your own time.
17:07All right, Mike.
17:08Do you want me to lead the session for you?
17:09I'm a qualified peer teacher.
17:11I think it's best if I guide the meditation.
17:15Oh, shoot yourself.
17:15So, as soon as it feels comfortable, close your eyes.
17:25Close your eyes.
17:26Eyes closed, please.
17:27Take a deep breath in.
17:35And release it out.
17:37Feel the relaxation in your shoulders.
17:43Your deltoids.
17:45Delts.
17:45I want you to breathe into your arms.
17:51Can't actually breathe into your arms, obviously.
17:54What I think Mark is trying to say is relax.
17:57Maybe we should try and make this a silent meditation.
18:01So, quiet, please.
18:02Everyone pipe down.
18:04Absolute silence, please.
18:06The only voices in the room should be me and Mark.
18:09The rainbow, to me, symbolises peace, but also kind of hope.
18:35Great journalling, Clara.
18:37Love it.
18:38So, Tony, what have you journaled for your perfect future?
18:46Is that a robot?
18:48That's a Twiki 3000.
18:50It's a robot from the future who can do anything.
18:55But, um, is that a boxer next to him?
18:57It's George Foreman.
18:58Twiki 3000 arranged a fight between the two of us
19:00to decide the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world.
19:04And I won on points.
19:05And is that a car?
19:09It's a Harvard car.
19:10Twiki 3000 made it.
19:12Take us all to Studio 54 Nightclub in New York.
19:16Got to spend a night with Charlie's Angels.
19:18But I didn't have time to draw them.
19:23Thank you, Tony.
19:26Shall we move on to foraging?
19:28So, I managed to find some beech nuts.
19:32Oh, and some bullies.
19:33It's a wild plum.
19:34Good for a crumble.
19:35Oh, the hunter returns.
19:38And I am starving.
19:40Let's get cooking.
19:41What's all this?
19:41It's, um, the food for our vegan dinner.
19:45Vegan?
19:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:47Remind me again what animals vegans can eat?
19:50None, obviously.
19:51That's what I thought, yeah.
19:53All right, back in a bit.
19:54Let's just, uh...
20:00Hi!
20:01Where have you been?
20:03Oh, been down in the woods.
20:04Just, uh, foraging for vegan things.
20:07Uh-huh.
20:07So...
20:08Oh, Anthony, look!
20:13Oh, my God.
20:15Oh, no!
20:15Oh, well, quick, you have to do something.
20:17Oh!
20:18Go on, quick!
20:18Oh, no!
20:24Oh!
20:28Don't leave her!
20:29Hop away from the night!
20:31Oh, dear.
20:33Oh, no!
20:34He's gone.
20:35Come on.
20:36He's gone.
20:37We've lost him.
20:38Or her.
20:40It's hard to tell with a rabbit.
20:43Part of the circle of life.
20:45So his nature can be so cruel.
20:46We'll never know what happened.
20:49No.
20:50It's our furry little friend.
20:52I do.
20:53You killed it.
20:54Oh, my God.
20:57I didn't kill it.
20:58No, it's...
20:59I had to put it out of his misery
21:01because he was in such pain.
21:03Because some bastard
21:04was throwing a rock at him!
21:06Someone in this group!
21:07What?
21:08Maybe you, Mark.
21:11Don't do that.
21:12Don't do that.
21:12Don't do that.
21:13You're so sorry.
21:22I just...
21:23Don't do that.
21:26So, here we are, old friend.
21:31So here we are, old friend. The old legs aren't what they were, so we're not quite
21:39at the top. We thought we'd send you off with one of your favorite pieces.
21:50Blankety-blank, blankety-blank. Blankety-blank, blankety-blank.
22:01Blankety-blank, blankety-blank. Blankety-blank.
22:11I thought I knew you.
22:13Sarah, you do. I did all this for you.
22:17Battering a rabbit to death.
22:19I mean, put it like that, it does sound bad.
22:21You've been lying this whole time, pretending to be someone else. Who are you?
22:26I'm Tony Mammoth. A man of action. A man in love.
22:31So will you give me one more chance?
22:34No!
22:35Good. Because I'm a lone wolf, and I will not settle down with you.
22:39I really don't want that.
22:40I am finished. I'm also a free bird, and I cannot be caged.
22:43It wouldn't have worked out with me and you.
22:45I can definitely see that now. You're awful.
22:47Alright, you haven't got to be personal. I'm just...
22:49I'm off anyway.
22:51Have a nice weekend, dickheads.
22:53Mark? Marko? Mark? Sorry about calling you a dickhead and that.
23:12Right? Anyway, now we're mates again, can you make a quick phone call for me?
23:18I'm gonna be snookering you, snookering you tonight. Snookering you, snookering you tonight.
23:31Big break.
23:34Hello?
23:37Hi, Roger. It's me. Listen, change of plan.
23:39You've got to come and pick me up for the Life Glow wellness retreat near Brecon.
23:43It is a right dump.
23:44I'm about to scatter Barry's ashes.
23:46Yeah, well don't. We'll do that together back at the pub.
23:49Much more fitting.
23:50You said he wanted to be scattered on Penny Van.
23:53Never mind who said what and where. The pub is Barry's home.
23:56It's where he want to be at rest. In fact, I remember that's what he definitely said he wanted.
24:00What? When? We haven't got time for this. Just get down here as quick as you can.
24:05I can't believe I did it. You were great. What a lovely surprise. How'd you know I was here?
24:23From the GPS tracker in my car, which you stole. Oh, calm down. Couldn't drive my own car, can I?
24:28I'm trying to impress Sarah. What's the big deal?
24:30Well, it's selfish, inconsiderate, and illegal!
24:33Help me out, Rog.
24:34No. I almost died of hypothermia because of you.
24:37Climbing up a mountain for nothing, then driving back to give you a lift.
24:41It's not my father's car's flat.
24:42Car's flat? Oh, well, that's brilliant. Well done.
24:45Right. You know what? I'm not putting up with this.
24:48I spend one day one trying to put myself first for a change from my old dead mate.
24:52That's the thanks I get. I'm off!
24:55Can you get Barry, please, Roger?
24:57Come on, Barry. Just me and you, mate. Just like the old days. More or less.
25:02Let's hit the road. See where it takes us. Adios, backstabbers.
25:08What are you arguing for? Let's all go back together with Roger. Go home and give Barry the standoff he deserves. Your old dad will sort the cars out.
25:33I don't want you to sort anything out.
25:36I'm too tired to drive. I'm broken. You broke me.
25:42I mean, I could always drive us all back.
25:47Oh, it's been snug.
25:51Ow! Can you move your seat forward?
25:53That's as far as I go, sorry.
25:55Right, Theo. Let's get out of here.
25:57Gonna give Barry a proper sending off.
26:01When is Theo?
26:06Oh, bollocks.
26:09I do remember him saying he wanted to get scattered in a car park just off the A470.
26:14Put your foot down, Theo.
26:23So sad.
26:25And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner.
26:29They'd be your partner and...
26:32You're so vain.
26:33You probably think this song is about you.
26:39You're so vain.
26:41You're so vain.
26:43I bet you think this song is about you.
26:47Don't you?
26:48Don't you?
26:49Don't you?
26:50Yeah!
26:51Don't you?
26:52Don't you?
26:53Clockwork.
26:54Don't you?
26:55You...
26:56Sorry.
26:58All you use is first song.
27:00When you are here.
27:02Don't you?
27:03So happy.
27:04Good luck!
27:05Bye.
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