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01:30Like Jerry Lewis and Charlie Chaplin, I was directing.
01:34We decided to write our own play, but my friends were as bad at writing as they were at acting.
01:38I have the test results.
01:41You're pregnant.
01:43But I'm only 16.
01:45A child having a child?
01:47What will I tell my parents?
01:49That's not all.
01:50You also have herpes.
01:53We put the drama in drama festival.
01:56It was supposed to be just one kiss, but then I had just one beer, and now I'll have just one baby.
02:05Fox!
02:06Come on.
02:07This is the cue to cue.
02:08You're on lights.
02:09This is for you.
02:10Frig off.
02:11You're not a teacher.
02:12You can't tell me what to do.
02:13I'm the director.
02:15That's exactly what I'm supposed to do.
02:18Tina.
02:18That was a little big.
02:21A little big?
02:23What does that even mean?
02:24This place sucks.
02:26Guys, we can still win this.
02:28I mean, teen sex, drugs, pregnancy.
02:31We're a shoo-in'.
02:32The adjudicator had a role under grassy.
02:34Stacey Devine, a Newfoundland actress on national TV.
02:39Unheard of.
02:40No running.
02:42It was only one line, but still.
02:44This could be my big break.
02:47My back hurts.
02:48Can I get up now?
02:50Fine.
02:51If we were going to win, they didn't need direction.
02:53They needed inspiration.
02:55Guys, who else is writing their own show?
03:00This is a collective.
03:01A troop.
03:02This is a family.
03:03Other schools may have bigger casts or bigger sets.
03:07But we've got something they don't.
03:12Us.
03:14Now let's take it from the top.
03:17This could be my big break.
03:20Action.
03:21Uh, line?
03:24We didn't stand a chance.
03:30You're late getting that turkey in.
03:32He's going to be here soon.
03:34I'm going as fast as I can.
03:36The festival wasn't my only acting challenge.
03:39Pop's brother was coming home from the States, so we all had to act like we were normal.
03:43How's your play?
03:44Mike, we need to get tickets.
03:45Oh, don't bother.
03:46It's a disaster.
03:47I'm working with amateurs.
03:49I know what you mean.
03:51Stuff it.
03:51Don't beat it to death.
03:53Where does your brother live again?
03:55Newfoundland.
03:56New Jersey.
03:57There's a Newfoundland in New Jersey?
03:59A lot of Newfoundlanders moved away during the Depression.
04:02Now your great uncle Leo is a big success.
04:04He managed a steel plant.
04:06He's the only rich critch.
04:07So why is he coming back here then?
04:09Good question.
04:10He hasn't shown his face around these parts in 25 years.
04:13Because he's a stuck-up arse.
04:16Whatever the reason, he's coming.
04:18And we want him to feel at home.
04:20That's why we're throwing him a nice Thanksgiving dinner.
04:23Isn't Thanksgiving in October?
04:25Americans celebrate November.
04:27That's what you call multiculturalism.
04:30Well, if he's so rich, maybe he'll bring us something nice from New York, huh?
04:35Good luck.
04:36He's tighter than a cod's arse.
04:39He could peel an orange in his pocket.
04:41Oh, Pat.
04:42I lost my ring.
04:44Where?
04:45Where do you think of its arse?
04:47It can't serve a turkey with a ring inside.
04:49It's not a box of Cracker Jacks.
04:50Find it.
04:51Oh.
04:52Oh.
04:54New is in the dressing.
04:55Stuffing.
04:55Not dressing.
04:56Stuffing.
04:57It's an American Thanksgiving.
04:58I will stuff you.
05:03Never seen an American before.
05:05They're just like mainlanders.
05:07Only louder.
05:09Hmm.
05:10Were you in my room?
05:11No.
05:12Swear to God.
05:14Then why are you wearing my turtleneck?
05:17It's my director aesthetic.
05:20Oh.
05:21All right.
05:21I'm going to kill you.
05:22No.
05:22Come here.
05:23Come here.
05:23Boys.
05:24Boys.
05:24Stop your Skylark.
05:26Give it up.
05:26Not the face.
05:27I am an actor.
05:28If I drop this frigging turkey.
05:30Give it up.
05:30Come here.
05:32Give it up.
05:33All right.
05:33Quit it.
05:34Give it up.
05:35Give it up.
05:36I'm not.
05:37Leo.
05:40You never answered.
05:42It's not always about you, Leo.
05:45Brothers.
05:46So I told him.
05:51I run the steelyard.
05:53You're working for me.
05:54You're on time.
05:55You're fired.
05:58You know, I'm currently dealing with some staffing incompetencies myself.
06:04In this world, the only person you rely on is yourself.
06:09I'd never seen American bravado before.
06:11He was like John Wayne and Frank Sinatra mixed together.
06:15Hey, boys.
06:16Something to remember me by.
06:18A little greenie.
06:21American greenie.
06:22It's always been two critch brothers.
06:25Me and Pat.
06:26Your dad.
06:27Poor Brendan.
06:28And now you two boys.
06:30No more fighting?
06:33Yes, sir.
06:34There you go.
06:35All right.
06:36Stop playing the big shot, Leo.
06:38There's no need for that.
06:40Who's it going to hurt?
06:42I've got plenty anyway and no one to give it to.
06:45Hey, that reminds me.
06:46Mark, will you bring that big box from the hallway?
06:49Mary Darden, come in here.
06:53Supper?
06:54I mean, dinner is almost ready.
06:57This is for you.
07:00Oh.
07:00When my Jenny died, I thought of giving her clothes to the goodwill.
07:07Then I decided to come home and I thought, here's where they'll do more good.
07:11Well, that is quite a dress.
07:23Did you forget to pack the penicillin?
07:25Where do you think this is?
07:27We don't need your care packages.
07:29That's very kind of you, Leo.
07:31Yeah, you know, Mom, you should try it on.
07:33Oh, not while I'm cooking.
07:37I wouldn't want to get a stain on it.
07:39But, Mom, it's from America.
07:43Careful in the kitchen.
07:45Looks flammable.
07:46Oh, my God.
07:59An American Thanksgiving in Newfoundland.
08:02They'll never believe me back home.
08:05So, Pop, you ever wish you went off to live in the States like Leo?
08:09He did.
08:10Nah, that's enough of that.
08:11Did you see the Empire State Building?
08:13See it?
08:14We built it.
08:15We worked in the high steel together.
08:18All right, all right.
08:19If the story's gonna be told, I'll tell you the story.
08:24He'll only ass it up.
08:27So, we went to New York.
08:31Nobody had built that high before.
08:34The Yankees recruited the Newfoundlanders because we weren't afraid of heights.
08:38We were used to climbing the rigging of the schooners.
08:41There was no work back home, so off we went.
08:44The New York to work the high steel.
08:46They laughed at us and called us fish.
08:49But it was the Newfoundlanders that built New York.
08:52All we had was each other and our only inheritance, our late father's watch, just in case we had to hawk it.
09:01So, did you have to sell the watch?
09:08I was tempted many a time, but I just couldn't bear to part with it.
09:14You still got the watch?
09:17Can I hold it?
09:19Can I hold it?
09:20Ah.
09:20Ah.
09:21Now that there is the last thing on earth that your great-grandfather owned.
09:28Still ticking.
09:29Still ticking.
09:30Pop, why'd you come back?
09:33I don't know.
09:34It just wasn't for me.
09:37Yeah, you left me behind in the concrete jungle.
09:39Can you imagine?
09:40Are you scared?
09:41Scared?
09:42Terrified.
09:43You can't depend on your brother who can you count on, but I learned to do it for myself.
09:49Never let anyone stand in your way or climb into the top, even if you have to build the top yourself, like I did.
10:04Happy American Thanksgiving?
10:07Oh, my.
10:10Oh, that was her second favorite dress.
10:14Second?
10:15I buried her in her good dress.
10:18That was the best meal I had since Janie died.
10:34Mm-hmm.
10:39They're good boys.
10:41You gotta stop on fighting, though.
10:44Life's too short for brothers to fall out.
10:48You didn't tell me you still had the watch.
10:50I'm not still mad about that.
10:52Look, I was the oldest.
10:54It was my watch.
10:55Yeah.
10:56You left it behind when you left me behind.
10:58I left the watch for you in case you had to sell it.
11:02I'd die before I ever sold that watch.
11:06It's the only thing I have of him.
11:11Or you.
11:12We had a plan.
11:14We were gonna make our money and go into business together.
11:17Critch brothers.
11:19I ran you up and left me for a girl.
11:22Kate wrote to me and told me she was pregnant.
11:26I had to choose my family.
11:29I'm your family, too, Pat.
11:32With Janie gone, you're the only family I have left, Pat.
11:45I came here to see you because life's too short to quarrel.
11:49I wouldn't know how long it is.
11:52I haven't got a watch.
12:02Leo was right.
12:03The only person I could count on was myself.
12:06I stayed up all night rewriting.
12:08I was gonna make it to the top, even if I had to walk over my friends to get there.
12:12Canadian football is terrible.
12:23Football was invented in Canada at McGill University by a Newfoundlander.
12:29Exactly.
12:30Hey.
12:31What's in the bag?
12:34Oh, this.
12:35Yeah.
12:36I was just throwing some stuff out.
12:38Yeah?
12:39Just.
12:40Oh.
12:41Oh.
12:42My hat.
12:43My shirt.
12:44I needed some costumes for the play.
12:47Support the arts.
12:48You stay out of my room, okay?
12:50That's it.
12:51That's done.
12:52Hey, guys.
12:53Look.
12:54I got a bunch of old clothes in that box I brought.
12:56You can have them.
12:57Let's go take a look.
12:59Come on.
13:02Hey.
13:03Go easy on the kid, huh?
13:05You'll remember every time you didn't.
13:08My new version of the play had it all.
13:09Drama.
13:10Romance.
13:11Comedy.
13:12The only thing it didn't have was stuff anyone else had written.
13:13You rewrote my speech?
13:14How the hell am I supposed to learn new lines?
13:15The show's tonight.
13:16You want fame?
13:17Well, fame costs.
13:18And right here is where you start paying.
13:20With sweat.
13:21I don't want fame.
13:22Hey.
13:23Hey.
13:24The song I wrote is cut.
13:25Oh.
13:26The song.
13:27Well, it just wasn't working.
13:28I didn't have the heart to say it before, but it's show business, not show friends.
13:31Leo was right.
13:32If I wanted it done right, I'd have to do it myself.
13:33I'd have to do it myself.
13:34No.
13:35No.
13:36No.
13:37No.
13:38No.
13:39No.
13:40No.
13:41No.
13:42No.
13:43No.
13:44No.
13:45No.
13:46No.
13:47No.
13:48No.
13:49No.
13:50No.
13:51No.
13:52No.
13:53No.
13:54No.
13:55No.
13:56No, the show me.
13:57Sorry.
13:59No, no.
14:00If I wasn't going on right, I'd have to do it myself.
14:02I don't have any lines at all, now.
14:04My parents are coming.
14:05They're no small parts, Gary.
14:06Only small actors.
14:07I guess I quit then.
14:08You quit?
14:09You-you can't quit.
14:10This show's tonight.
14:11You really messed that up.
14:12If you don't go back to the old script, I'm going to quit, too.
14:15I couldn't give in.
14:16I was the director.
14:17Fine.
14:18You're fired.
14:19come on Richie Richie I'm only in her scenes what's the point you're my best
14:26friend then why'd you cut my song if my friends didn't have my back fine I'd have
14:34my own I wrote it I'm directing it and I'll star in it too you're not quitting
14:42the only reason I'm staying is to see how this all goes down if I didn't need
14:48anyone but myself why did I feel so lonely leaving so soon things moving too
15:02slow in the sticks I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to get away from
15:08this place and I spent the last 20 wishing I'd never left hey you don't have
15:12to go you could spend the next 20 here I don't have 20 Pat
15:26how long you got who knows doctor's just a kid but he was right about Janie so
15:41I figured Newfoundland would be just as I left it like it was waiting for me but time moves on
15:54coming back ain't the same as never leaving
15:58you did good you deserve to be proud hey you won Pat what you built here that'll last longer than any
16:12skyscraper you're the one that should be proud you know I think we both ended up what was supposed to
16:22me yeah this is yours now you hold on to it I'll get it next time I'm out of time
16:42and now the entry from St. Bridget's school just a baby myself written directed by and starring Merrick Critchie
16:54attention students we have an expert here today to talk to you about the uh
17:16the s word the s-e-x word oh wow adults can never talk to his kids straight about sex
17:31who said that
17:35I did but adults never hear us kids do they did I just break the fourth wall
17:46better get a repairman because yeah I did you want the straight stuff this may not be your story
17:55but it could be so be careful careful of sex
18:01my coat hey name's Chuck
18:10there are three things I love girls drugs sex
18:19and one thing I hate condoms
18:24the problem with not needing anybody is not having anyone to tell you when you're making a fool of yourself
18:30god
18:31the thing about being in the spotlight is that you can't see who's in the audience
18:42I have the test results
18:44you're pregnant
18:47but I'm only 16
18:50a baby myself
18:52I mean
18:53what will I tell my parents
18:55you're supposed to be just one kiss
19:00how can I fall for all the lies you told me
19:02you can't get pregnant the first time
19:06you can't get pregnant in a swimming pool
19:08you can't get pregnant if you use a chip bag as a condom
19:11I was an unwed mother
19:15there was no bouquet but that was okay
19:19I mean what would you get a team bride anyway
19:22a bouquet of oopsie daisies
19:25and remember my name's Lisa
19:28but it could be you
19:31I'm gonna raise my son to respect women
19:34women like me
19:36thank you
19:51thank you
19:52there would be a short intermission while the next school sets off
20:03that was hilarious
20:05as good as a concert
20:06it's not supposed to be funny
20:08what
20:09Mark
20:12Mr. Vine
20:12can I say you're just phenomenal on the grass
20:15thank you
20:16the other kids in the program
20:18were they sick or
20:20they weren't like us
20:22they didn't have that killer instinct
20:24you know
20:25the cast list is very different
20:28than what was submitted
20:29theater's a team sport Mark
20:32I'm afraid you're disqualified
20:34save the drama for the stage
20:37you young lady
20:38you were great
20:39very professional
20:41walk with me
20:43Fox beamed brighter than any spotlight
20:47but for me
20:48it was curtains
20:50that was something
20:53here to see me embarrass myself
20:55no
20:56actually I'm here to see
20:57just how much of my stuff you stole
20:59look I'm sorry I
21:01stole all your stuff
21:03we're brothers
21:05right
21:06what's mine is yours
21:08same
21:10I don't want any of your stuff
21:14understandable
21:15head up
21:19congratulations
21:25at least one of us has a future in show business
21:28I don't want one
21:30neither did anybody else
21:32does everyone hate me
21:35so what if they do
21:37you don't need anyone else
21:39right
21:39look
21:43maybe you should try
21:45doing something the rest of us
21:46want to do once in a while
21:47not everything has to be
21:50a one man show
21:50we need to set up
21:54we're going nerd
21:55sometimes we lock others out
21:58because we're afraid
21:59to let them in
22:00let me get this
22:02thanks
22:04but nobody can do it all
22:07on their own
22:07sure you can go alone
22:14but life is sweeter
22:16with someone to share
22:17that's a sin for you
22:20life's too short
22:22when you're with the people you love
22:23and too long
22:24when you're on your own
22:25so don't make it all about yourself
22:33and you might learn
22:34we make the best music
22:36when we learn to play together
22:37we make the best music
22:41and we'll see you next time
22:41we'll see you next time
22:42we'll see you next time
22:43we'll see you next time
22:43We'll see you next time
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