00:00If you're using online dating and you're not getting any matches or any responses to your messages,
00:04then you might be saying to yourself online dating does not work for me.
00:11You're probably right.
00:12But there's a number of different reasons why online dating may not be working for you. As a man, the odds are against you for online dating.
00:18In fact, I just got a comment on one of my videos about online dating and this guy said he's swiped a thousand times and has gotten 15 matches.
00:26Now, those odds are pretty terrible, right? That's a lot of swiping with very few results.
00:31And this is a guy who's 40. I don't know how long he's been trying this or when he started this.
00:35But the older you get, the worse it's going to get.
00:38And especially if you don't have good photographs and a good profile write-up, your results are going to be pretty much abysmal.
00:43Online dating is basically online marketing. So you need to understand marketing to make it work.
00:47But unfortunately, you can't really change your stats. I mean, not honestly.
00:51This is why a lot of people lie in online dating, especially for guys. They lie about their height.
00:55They always add a couple extra inches because every inch counts, as we know.
00:58And they also say they're younger. Now, this is very common for women, too.
01:01A lot of women lie and say they're younger than they actually are or they use older photographs when they looked better or they ate a few hamburgers less, if you know what I mean.
01:09So it's really a lot of lying going both ways for both men and women on online dating.
01:13And if you're looking for a relationship, that's a really bad way to start one.
01:17So if you're a younger guy, maybe early 30s or in your 20s, especially if you're attractive, you're going to have a lot more options for online dating.
01:24You're going to get a lot more matches.
01:25But if you're not one of those guys, then wasting your time on online dating is a waste of time.
01:30Why swipe a thousand times if you're only going to get 15 matches?
01:33And chances are those 50 matches aren't going to actually turn into dates.
01:36You might get one or two dates out of those, but you probably have to get a number of matches to actually get somebody in person.
01:40So that's where your personality comes into play at all of online dating, because this is one of the problems of online dating is that women don't see or experience your personality.
01:50But depending on how confident you are and how much social experience or dating experience you have, that's also something which may need some work, but it's something you can improve.
01:58So for the majority of men, I suggest actually meeting women in real life.
02:02You can do this any time you're out, any time you step out of your door.
02:05You can go to the grocery store or the coffee shop while you're at a restaurant, chatting with a waitress, the bartender, it doesn't matter.
02:11Any woman you run into is a potential date, but only if you start thinking about them as potential dates and you stop your limiting beliefs.
02:17Because if you're used to the idea that you can only meet women for dates in very specific situations, chances are you haven't even thought about all the other potential ways you could meet women in all the different situations where you could ask somebody out.
02:29So go slow and start taking some baby steps.
02:30Start getting more social in general, not just with the women you're attracted to.
02:34Start saying hi to people in the morning when you're away to work or you're away to school.
02:37Start conversations everywhere you go, including with the cashier or the barista and take a chance and start asking some of these women out.
02:44Over time, you're going to learn the best ways to start a conversation and ask women out ways that are actually effective.
02:49And you're also going to develop more confidence, which is really attractive to women.
02:52But if you've been using online dating your whole life and you're not used to doing this,
02:56they're probably going to take a lot more time to actually feel your confidence because you don't build any kind of social skills with online dating.
03:02But that's something you can start right now, no matter what your age is.
03:04And because I'm a dating coach and I've been doing this for over 11 years, I've seen lots of guys go from online dating to meeting women in person and get successful at it.
03:12It just takes some time.
03:13So is online dating not working for you either?
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