Theo SMASHES Todd's Head Into A Mirror

Newmarkit7

5 hours ago

Transcript

00:00Oh, hey. I couldn't decide protein or fruit and or muesli.

00:11Oh, wow. My work here is done. I am so proud of you, Mr. Dietitian.

00:21Do you know what? I'm really pleased, because I had the 3am night terrors.

00:24You know that was pushing you too hard towards your fitness goals.

00:27No, I need the encouragement. I mean, you do know more about all this stuff, so...

00:33Eggs, then?

00:35Actually, that might be too heavy on a training day, so I suggest a banana.

00:40I thought today was a rest day, anyway.

00:42No, no, no. I've got to get the mouths in the legs.

00:44But I promise I'll make lunch and I will disguise the protein as fine dining.

00:47Awesome.

00:48Oh, I need to get the bedroom mirror and bring it in here so we can keep track of our bodies,

00:53so that we make healthy choices. I'm just going to go and get it.

00:57I wonder what your running watch is going to make of your elevated heart rate.

01:05GPS static, heart rate elevated.

01:10A riddle.

01:11We should try and confuse it a bit more.

01:14No, a mighty lunch was promised, sire, and a mighty lunch shall be delivered.

01:19I tell you what, if a year ago someone had said to me that I would run five miles and a block,

01:24while the man who made it possible rustled up a...

01:27What was it you're making?

01:28It's like a veggie catsuit curry thingy.

01:31Sounds very nice. I should probably get dressed. Black tie?

01:34Just a black tie, please.

01:36You'll be lucky.

01:41Hi.

01:42Leave it.

01:43What?

01:44Yeah, come up.

01:45It's...

01:46James.

01:47Oh.

01:48He said something about gear.

01:51Gear?

01:52Well, I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean drugs.

01:55Hi.

01:56Oh, sorry.

01:57Busy.

01:58Oh, no.

01:59Theo was just rustling something up to reward me for all my training.

02:02Ah, high viz to chef's kiss, eh?

02:04That's him.

02:05Yeah.

02:06Er, is there something we can help you with, Jimmy?

02:09Foam rollers.

02:10Dom's evasion.

02:12Is there a Duolingo for this?

02:13Delayed onset muscle soreness.

02:15Dom's.

02:16It's a lot easier to avoid with the right kit.

02:18I'll show you.

02:19Well, hang on, mate.

02:20This one dressing gown.

02:21Oh, I've hurt me eyes.

02:22Right.

02:23Lie down.

02:24I've only hurt a bit.

02:25All right.

02:26Er, what, like here?

02:27Yeah, just there.

02:28That's the one.

02:29Right.

02:30Oh, how's that?

02:31That food smells amazing.

02:32Are you torturing me into inviting you for lunch?

02:33Is that an offer?

02:34Er, sorry.

02:35You don't run.

02:36You don't eat.

02:37Are you really going to condemn me to the chippy?

02:38Don't try and put chips in my head.

02:39Oh, I've got to go.

02:40I've got to cry in ten minutes.

02:41You can invite me another time.

02:42No.

02:43No.

02:44No.

02:45No.

02:46No.

02:47No.

02:48No.

02:49No.

02:50No.

02:51No.

02:52No.

02:53No.

02:54No.

02:55No.

02:56Maybe when you've got boxers on.

02:57Right.

02:58Keep the foam rollers till after the marathon.

03:00Do it every day, especially that calf.

03:02Right.

03:03See you later.

03:04See y'all.

03:05In a bit.

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04:00and you're just simpering around him he wants work clients he is a mate

04:07look at yourself what do you see look Todd do you see do you see potential client or flirt

04:21stop it all right I'm not putting up with this so you'll tell me to stop it but not him

04:26he wasn't pushing me around was he pushing you around hmm if you want to push you around I'll

04:31push you around Theo say now look at yourself look look at yourself have a look at yourself

04:56Todd I'm okay look just um watch your feet yeah I'm gonna get your top I need to put

05:08some pressure on it all right just nice and easy okay watch your feet Todd put some pressure on it

05:16yeah look I'll clean up the glass all right hey oh just watch your feet I've got most of it

05:33over and still might be some glass on the floor just be careful this needs stitching no it doesn't we'll

05:38just get the first aid kit and those plasters what they call the butterfly yeah okay all right just

05:46put some pressure on it just just sit down take it easy sit down yeah okay we'll go to the hospital

05:54all right you found me scared to death Todd all right I mean obviously it was the tug of war thing

06:02you know because I was going one way and you were going to other and obviously I was trying to keep

06:06you still and then you must have you must have bounced off me and you've hit your head on the

06:09you know what I mean all right look then I'll get your shoes and your coat all right you just stay

06:19there I'll tell you I was so clumsy as a kid everybody naturally clumsy decides to become a scaffolder

06:33I think I think I think it's because I grew quickly yeah you know tall never quite knew where I ended

06:43my sister she was um she was so jealous you being tall no being clumsy all the um plasters and bandages

06:55and all that do you know she was with her pocket money she bought a tin of plasters she put all over

07:06herself and then she regretted it when she had to rip them off oh easy easy take it be careful

07:13and that's what brought us together our clumsiness

07:20you know I keep hearing the uh the crack as you fell into the mirror

07:27imagine if I hadn't been there and you'd knock yourself out cold it doesn't bear thinking about

07:36I'm gonna wrap you up in cotton wool from now on all right

07:41do you want me to get you a drink

07:48yeah a pint of IPA

07:53or maybe a tea

07:56yeah okay

07:59I love you I'm gonna take care of you all right

08:05I'm sure there's no more glass in it so I'm just gonna glue it now

08:22no stitches then

08:24been a while since you're presented here with a cut then

08:27am I out of date

08:30clearly been lucky

08:32till today

08:33what happened

08:35uh it was um

08:39the mirror

08:41he

08:42we had um brought it through to the living room

08:46part of

08:47anyway it wasn't where it was supposed to be

08:52and uh

08:54what you get confused don't you

08:58you said we

08:59brought her through to the living room

09:02who's we

09:03me and my partner

09:05did she or he

09:07he

09:09was he there

09:11did he see it

09:13when it happened

09:17is there anything you want to tell me about it

09:22thanks man

09:25hey sorry I went to my wild tea chase

09:29is this your partner

09:30yeah

09:30Theo

09:31Todd's fine to go Theo

09:33um with head wounds we'd like to know someone's at home

09:36oh yeah don't worry about that I'll uh keep me high

09:38okay any nausea

09:39dizziness

09:40anything of concert and please call the NHS helpline

09:43okay

09:44nice to meet you Todd

09:45thanks

09:46I'd say the same

09:48but

09:48oh we need uh super glue

09:52in our first aid kit apparently

09:54um no I'd rather you came back here next time you fall out with your own reflection

09:58oh don't worry about there will not be a next time I mean it

10:02frightened me off to death

10:04all right then come on let's get you on

10:06thanks Doc

10:08I'll take care of it

10:10do you want any painkillers are out

10:20I'm fine

10:21just need to sit down

10:23tell you what I'm gonna have a word with Dev

10:28you should sue him

10:30sue him

10:32yeah

10:33that mirror is cheap it's dangerous

10:36it's an accident waiting to happen

10:38I'm not sure you want to go down that route

10:41why's that

10:44well just

10:48he's gonna want to know exactly what happened

10:51which was

10:54we were both here

10:57yeah

10:58I know

10:59cause I was the one that got the tea towel and put it on your wound

11:04and was fretting

11:05look a mirror that size

11:08shouldn't just shatter with the slightest knock

11:10not in a rental it's not suitable

11:12it wasn't just a knock

11:13what was it then

11:15what are you trying to say

11:17cause I feel like you're trying to use this to have a go at me

11:20well just

11:23it was a bit more force than that

11:26I

11:30was trying to move you

11:33you were pushing me

11:35and then you

11:36fell into it

11:38right

11:39or if you're trying to use this as

11:42as

11:42some sort of

11:43excuse to accuse me of something

11:45then I want to hear it

11:46what happened Todd

11:49go on then

11:50what happened

11:50I'm tired

11:54maybe I should have a couple of painkillers

11:57and

11:57have a lie down

11:58it's been a bit of a day

12:00there you go

12:26thanks

12:30what

12:38nothing

12:43are you sure it looked like I had something to say

12:46well

12:50it's

12:51it's fine

12:54I'll

12:54no no

12:55say it

12:56say it

12:56please

12:56I mean it's just

13:02it's cold

13:04oh

13:06I

13:09I was meant to

13:10it's just

13:11you know

13:13with

13:13with me having to

13:15cut new food

13:16and training you

13:17and

13:17and you know

13:19watching you

13:20roll around

13:22half naked

13:23and flirt with James

13:24on the floor

13:25and asking him to massage

13:25and then you

13:27tripping

13:28into the mirror

13:29cutting yourself

13:31and expecting me

13:33to take you to hospital

13:34and then

13:37well you know

13:38coming home

13:40and then you're

13:41accusing me of

13:42what was it

13:44tripping you

13:44assaulting you

13:45or deliberately

13:46hurting you

13:47forgive me

13:49for forgetting

13:52to check

13:54the temperature

13:55of the meal

13:56that I made you

13:57with my elbow

13:57like I did

13:58all my other babies

13:59eat

14:09eat it

14:20eat it

14:23up

14:25so

14:34make me

14:36I

14:37wet

14:39me

Theo SMASHES Todd's Head Into A Mirror

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