Mike Judges Beavis and Butt Head S03E21 Million Dollar Reward

Terra.Anatolia

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00:00Oh

00:24Your brain weighs almost nothing

00:27What a dumbass

00:30But wait again

00:32I'm gonna think about something heavy

00:36Like rocks or something

00:39Wait a minute Beavis check it out

00:43Whoa, hey, well that guy is cool

00:47Yes, he is very cool, but look it sounds like he did a crime or something and if you turn him into the police you get a

00:58Million dollars

01:00Well, so if you like find a guy who did a crime and turn him into the police you get a million dollars?

01:07Beavis I've got an idea

01:12Sir Beavis did like a crime. I'm turning him in

01:16That's right

01:18Give us a million dollars

01:20What crime did he do?

01:28That one's a stumper, isn't it?

01:30Hey, sir

01:32Can you give us a minute?

01:34Eh ha

01:44I spanked my monkey

01:46Hey, that's not a crime

01:48It's not?

01:49Whoa. Hey. You know, that's cool

01:52Hey, are you sure sir? I heard i'm doing it, and it was violent

01:56yeah that's not a crime can you give us another minute sir tell him you stole a

02:08house I don't know spanking your monkeys allowed maybe that's allowed too uh yeah

02:14that's true this is hard we thought of a crime sir yeah I stabbed a tree just get out of here

02:30okay hey they look like derelicts we should ask them if they know anything about all the graffiti

02:35around 26th Street uh is graffiti a crime yeah then beavis did it yeah that's right

02:43okay book him yes we're gonna be millionaires

02:50I wish it didn't have to be this way I really do but sometimes in life we have to protect our own

02:59heart even if it means ripping it out of our chest yeah yeah hell yeah that's how we do it around here

03:08yeah America yeah I bet we could do better than those guys we should become hitmen yeah yeah really

03:20that's a good idea yeah how do you become a hitman though oh I know maybe I'll ask at the unemployment

03:26office if they have any hitman jobs you know uh sure can't hurt to ask you know at my last job

03:38interview the guy asked me to stop jiggling my leg I said shut up or I'm gonna kill you

03:43but see this time on this job interview that might get me the job see oh this is good this is good

03:52and I'll tell you something if I was a hitman I would be the model of professionalism

04:00and I would even clean the grease traps if they wanted me to you know

04:04uh there aren't any grease traps when you're a hitman dumbass yeah there are they're on the grill

04:12you're thinking of burger world oh yeah yeah but um you know I could do all my hits in burger world

04:20you know mix business with pleasure you know oh you know what else I mean like if I ran out of

04:28bullets or something I'd give them like a triple cheeseburger with a side of macho fries and then

04:34they just die of heart disease you know I got time also like if you're a hitman and you didn't want

04:42to come into work one day because like it was the weekend you could just say your grandma died and

04:48then if they said they were gonna go check you could just kill her oh yeah wait a second yeah I don't

04:56like that but that's messed up you said you have to work on weekends as a hitman uh I think you have

05:02to work whenever someone needs killing yeah yeah this might not work out it was a beautiful dream

05:10felony vandalism that's a serious charge that's right sir sure is we're gonna get a million dollars

05:25damn right well I promise you mr. beavis as your lawyer I will do everything I can to get you off

05:33okay I guess but I'd rather it was with a chick

05:36court is now in session for the trial of the state of texas versus beavis

05:43prosecution you may call your first witness there's been a whole lot of graffiti on the side

05:48of the maximard and all over the neighborhood a lot of gang tags and obscenities whoa cool yeah the

05:55crime I did kicks ass yeah you do cool crimes yeah yeah I do yeah hey um I do lots of cool crimes your

06:04honor hey can those 12 guys over there hear me hey did you hear that lots of cool crimes I do yeah

06:11he told me to my face that he did it he confessed but isn't it true that you railroaded him into that

06:21confession my lawyer is a perv the defense calls mr. butthead to the stand as a character witness

06:37you've been friends with beavis your whole life is that correct uh he's not really my friend

06:44but you live together for 20 years I'd like to take the 69th

06:51the defense calls mr. beavis to the stand in his own defense mr. beavis we've heard a lot here today

07:04and I bet you're eager to finally tell your side of the story yeah this is boring how long is this

07:10gonna take I'm just here to get my million dollars yeah what million dollars you know my million dollar

07:18reward for turning myself in for doing a crime there's no reward mr. beavis if this court finds

07:25you guilty you don't get any money what you go to jail that sucks um I have one more question for the

07:34judge proceed um it's spanking your monkey against the law because they told me it wasn't and now

07:41it's just not as fun anymore and so mr. beavis you didn't do any of this graffiti no sir in fact you

07:53couldn't have because you don't even know your letters I just like to state for the record that

07:58reading sucks the only reason you confessed to the crime was you mistakenly believe you would

08:05be paid one million dollars do I get a million dollars I'm still not a hundred percent clear

08:11on it no yeah that sucks the defense rests your honor we have just come into a new piece of

08:22evidence we'd like to enter into the record I'll allow it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah we did do graffiti

08:32yeah oh yeah uh let the record show that it's a butt yeah I forgot about that um your honor was

08:43this in 2024 I was drunk that year I don't remember barely any of it we the jury find the defendants

08:54guilty wait a second who's the defendants I thought we did it yeah someone tell her she got the wrong guys

09:01at least these guys know what's up yeah really beavis we're gonna get a million dollars our plan work

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