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00:00tonight we look back on an important time the fall of the Berlin Wall the
00:09miners strikes a royal wedding and in music Madonna exploded onto the scene
00:13live 8 MTV was born it's easy to ridicule this era in history but it was
00:20an important period in global culture so let's take time to pay homage to a
00:25decade that really matters welcome to never mind the buzz cocks does the 80s
00:55tonight we're going back to the decades of Rubik's cubes synth-pop new romantics big
01:14shoulder pads big Walkmans but great Scott we don't have much time I have one chance to go
01:19back to 1989 and woo the woman of my dreams and then and only then will I
01:24fulfill my destiny finally Jamali will have to call me daddy joining Jamali on
01:32Noel's team an 80s superstar who at 17 became the youngest female artist to
01:37write produce and perform a number one hit it's like we've lived parallel lives
01:41when I was 17 I ate monster munch I had a bike and me and my mates climbed a well
01:46big tree
01:50it's Debbie Gimson
01:56and on the other team tonight lead singer of 80s multi-platinum selling ABC
02:02whose hits include the iconic look of love he taught me that when you're
02:06struggling to write the opening lyrics to a song sometimes you just have to trust
02:09your gut your instinct sometimes you just have to
02:14and on the other team tonight a brilliant stand-up comedian actor and presenter
02:29the funniest introduction we've ever written strap yourselves in this is
02:45going to be massive our guest team captains an iconic 80s duo members of the
02:52mighty wham who are impossible to forget because one named herself after a
02:56favorite drink and if you can remember Pepsi then surely you can remember the
03:02other one
03:09welcome to the show everyone
03:17that's your surely guest captains do you think you've got it in you to be an
03:23effective captaincy team
03:24we're gonna do our best more than our best we are gonna rule we're gonna win we're
03:29gonna we're gonna do it that's really uncomfortable yeah we'll cheat if need be
03:35I'm naturally bossy I am instinctively quite scared of you actually I'm gonna go
03:41straight in and talk about some Pepsi and Shirley and Wham gossip you go on then I
03:46want you to tell me if this gossip is um lovely
03:55Wham were the first Western pop acts to ever perform in China true
04:03Wham were competing with Queen for that honor and Wham's manager decided that he
04:08was gonna throw Queen under the bus and what he did was he contacted the Chinese
04:13authorities and sent a brochure of Freddie Mercury looking effeminate the
04:19Chinese authorities were fine with this were they I remember the last
04:26Christmas video as everyone does and I remember thinking what a wholesome
04:30wonderful time that you were all having can you tell me which of these are
04:34true during the filming of that video someone puked into the filter of the
04:37pool at the ski lodge true true one of the extras in that video kept farting in the
04:45ski lift that's an early exclusive in it Martin welcome to the show it's Martin Frey
05:03Martin what is the look of love after 40 years that's a very philosophical
05:13question isn't it is this the look of love Martin
05:15what do you think
05:17there's the look of love
05:19how old were you there Martin because I've got a theory that you've always been 40
05:23that's true yeah yeah it's served me well now I'm 67 you see but uh ABC were cool
05:29and all the songs were so cool and you look so cool do you think all of the
05:33lyrics were cool do you have any lyric in mind
05:39yeah he has no he doesn't look he can't wait well have a look for yourself
05:45oh yeah
05:46complain my son crumbled
05:48bring yourself to another piece of apple cream
05:53yeah thank you
05:57very creative I've never eaten apple crumble since 1983.
06:07debbie gibson's here
06:14everybody I know who's got the surname gibson in this country gets called gibbo
06:18can I call you gibbo you you may give all who on the panel used to have
06:26posters of debbie gibson on their wall at a formative age I think it's no it is no
06:33yeah
06:37no
06:37no
06:38no
06:38no
06:39no
06:40no
06:42no
06:43let's have a look at debbie in the 80s let's see what was on no's wall
06:46Aw!
06:48Weird that you had, like, a normal bedroom with posters.
06:50I feel like you'd be in, like, a bat cave.
06:54Just hanging upside down.
06:56When I say wall, I mean the lid of my coffin.
07:02Tell me why Foolish Beat was such a big song for you.
07:04So, uh, that put me in the Guinness Book of World Records
07:08for being the youngest artist to write and produce a number one.
07:11Ah! Goodness me!
07:13Oh!
07:18Get this.
07:19Debbie is still the youngest female artist.
07:22She still holds that record now.
07:24Wow.
07:25And she was 17 years of age.
07:26You want to know what I was doing at 17, Debbie?
07:28I don't know if I do.
07:30I was having sex with this bear.
07:32That's what I was doing.
07:40And I'm not going to read the next question on AutoCube.
07:43Oh, no, I will.
07:44I will read it, actually.
07:45Because someone took the time to script this.
07:46Have you ever had sex with a bear, Gibbo?
07:48Like, seriously?
07:50OK.
07:51Ooh!
07:52Debbie Gibson, welcome.
07:54Welcome.
07:59Judy Love.
08:00When I think of the 80s, I think...
08:02What's love got to do?
08:03It's got to do.
08:04Yes.
08:06Tell me about you and the 80s.
08:09It's really hard for me because I feel like I'm one of the younger ones on the panel.
08:12You are?
08:13Because I know you were only born in 1980.
08:15Yeah, I was still on breast milk.
08:16It was simple.
08:17Do you know what I mean?
08:18There were simple times.
08:19It was simple times.
08:20You know what we used to do?
08:21We used to climb up really big fir trees.
08:23Right.
08:24And sniff poppers.
08:25Good times.
08:28Judy, you're always welcome.
08:30Good, OK.
08:34Let's crack on with the show.
08:36The first question is for Noel's team.
08:38Take a look at this.
08:39I was looking for a job and then I found a job.
08:43And heaven knows I'm miserable now.
08:47They got the feet, they got the feet.
08:50Yeah, they got the feet.
08:52Yeah, they got the feet.
08:56Go, go.
08:57Always believe in your soul.
09:00You've got the power to know you're in this show.
09:05Come on.
09:12That was sexually frustrated topless granddad, Morrissey and the Smiths,
09:17Belinda Carlyle and three other women, the Go-Go's.
09:20And new romantic foot boys, Bando Ballet.
09:23Sorry, Shirley.
09:27Noel's team.
09:28Can you tell me which of these 80s legends had an unprofessional run-in with their tour manager?
09:33Was it A, after watching a documentary about Guns N' Roses, the Smiths thought they should act more rock and roll.
09:39They initially planned to strip their tour manager naked and throw him into a skip, but they didn't have the heart, so they ended up just putting grapes in his socks.
09:45Or was it B, the Go-Go's were recording an album in Reading when they got bored and decided to go out into the woods and take pictures of each other naked.
09:55Belinda Carlyle said,
09:56Belinda Carlyle said,
09:57I suggested we take pictures of our most intimate part.
10:00And then we slipped them under the tour manager's door and said,
10:03Guess who?
10:06Was it C, while touring Hamburg's Bando Ballet got their tour manager paralytically drunk,
10:12dressed him in a sexy leg cliché,
10:14placed him in a prostitute's window with a sign saying,
10:17Which roughly translates as welcome to the super bitch
10:25Noel's team one of those is true the B I don't the go-go's are recording an album and then they took pictures of their intimate parts
10:32And then what were they taking pictures?
10:34Polaroids?
10:35Yeah, that's what I mean
10:36They had to go to the chemist, right?
10:38Right, and how to be like
10:39The 80s
10:41Right
10:42The junk room, right?
10:44And then their pictures came out with stickers over their private parts
10:49To peel them off and then slip them like that would take too long
10:52And to be honest, if you were taking pictures of your private parts, it was quite good to have them developed in a chemist
10:57Because if there was a problem
11:02A one stop
11:07Aren't you friends with Belinda Carlyle?
11:09Yeah, I mean I know her a bit
11:10Like I think that, you know, they were rebellious at the time
11:12Would you be able to recognise the pictures?
11:14Of course
11:17Hey, why don't we talk about the Smiths for a while?
11:20Here's some actual quotes from Morrissey
11:22It'd be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham
11:26Oh, he didn't say that
11:27No
11:28No, he didn't say that
11:29Oh my God
11:30He did say that
11:31He said all of these
11:32He probably did
11:33Wow
11:34This is fascinating
11:35So many footballers are paid £200,000 a week and yet they couldn't identify a heart
11:39But the absolute prince of Morrissey quotes is this
11:44No
11:45Jamie Oliver should be gassed by Princess Anne
11:49Wow
11:50I don't think they've got even rudimentary gassing facilities at Buckingham Palace
11:54Oh
11:56Should we get on to Spandau Ballet?
11:57You know Shirley's married to one of Spandau Ballet
11:59Yeah
12:00They didn't know
12:01I just found that known
12:02Jamali didn't know
12:03Nick Beggs from Kachagugu when he saw your husband scooping half of his breakfast onto one small side plate and then covering it with a newspaper
12:12He lent over to Martin and asked him what he was up to
12:15He said, well Nick, I really enjoy my food and it always seems to go so quickly
12:20I always think to myself, that was great, I could eat that a lot again
12:23And then when I look under this newspaper, I find the rest
12:26And I think, wow, great
12:28I've still got all this to eat
12:31I mean, I question whether Shirley's his wife or his carer after that quote
12:42You had some interesting pictures taken back in the 80s, didn't you?
12:46Oh
12:47You know what? That was in Covent Garden
12:49Is that the brother from EastEnders?
12:51Yeah
12:52Yeah, man
12:54There we go
12:56Ta-da
12:58He was on the show
12:59Oh, Bob, your husband's sick, man
13:01That's my boy, man
13:02Yeah, he's lovely
13:03Tell him I said what's up
13:05Let's briefly talk about Belinda Carlisle and the Go-Go's
13:08Here they are in the 80s
13:09They look like a variety pack of cereal
13:12They look lovely
13:14Belinda Carlisle, she had a 30 year long cocaine addiction
13:18And she says she can't believe she's not dead
13:20One morning she woke up after a binge and forgot she bought what?
13:24Do you think?
13:25I'll just tell you a racehorse
13:26Something like that
13:29Greg, I did so many drugs once at a party that the next day someone knocked on the door
13:33And I bought two stone baboons
13:39For six grand
13:44I was like, what the fuck am I going to do with that one?
13:47How much?
13:48Six grand
13:49Six grand
13:50What have you done with them?
13:51They look quite good, they're in my house
13:53I have no recollection of buying them
13:58Oh my God
13:59Alright, Noel's team, what do you think?
14:00Is it the Smith's grape, the Go-Go's nude pics or spanto ballet super bitch?
14:05It's either B with a Polaroid camera or A
14:08I love the idea of Morrissey putting grapes in people's socks but he's more vicious than that
14:12So I feel like I want the Go-Go
14:14Now I hear about the Go-Go's and their rock and roll
14:16I feel like it's something they would have done
14:18B, the Go-Go's taking pictures of their special areas
14:21You are right!
14:26Yes, the Go-Go's took pictures of their fannies
14:29And slipped them under their tour manager's door to see if he could guess who was who
14:34Belinda Carlyle said he was completely mortified
14:37We had a way of freaking out tour managers
14:39Many of them quit, but he stayed with us for years
14:42I bet he did, Belinda
14:43Well done, Noel's team, a point to you!
14:46Alright, the next question is for Patsy and Shirley's team
14:53Take a look at this
14:54Looks like they'll try again
14:58Hot boys
15:00Never is it
15:02Like a virgin
15:04Hey!
15:06Just for the very first time
15:10Like a virgin
15:14But I still haven't found
15:19What to do
15:21Good music!
15:26It is good music!
15:28That was a man you just know has got suntan testicles, Simon Le Bon
15:32The tired Romanian powerlifter Madonna
15:35Oh!
15:38And the band that sounds like an owl telling you off
15:41You two!
15:44Can you tell me which of these 80s legends had an unusual ritual before appearances?
15:49Was it?
15:50A
15:51Simon Le Bon revealed that before he has his photo taken
15:54He has a strange belief
15:56He said
15:57If I think about naked ladies
15:58Then my pupils dilate
16:00Which always looks better in shots
16:02I know what you mean, Simon
16:04Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:09Or was it B
16:10Madonna would sneak food-based puns into her songs
16:14Including
16:15Crazy for Soup
16:16And Hollandaise
16:17Her management discovered that during a gig at the Hollywood Bowl in 1989
16:21When she changed the lyrics to
16:22Like a prayer
16:23From
16:24Life is a mystery
16:25Everyone must stand alone
16:26To
16:27Life is a kedgerie
16:28Everyone likes jam and scone
16:31Or was it C
16:32Before photo shoots
16:33You two would each down a pint of hot orange juice
16:36To speed up the process
16:38The edge said
16:39It's amazing
16:40How much quicker you can get through a photo shoot
16:42When everyone's about to shit themselves
16:44Oh my
16:45Interesting
16:46So
16:47A, B or C
16:49That's tricky, isn't it?
16:50I'm going to go for A
16:53A
16:54No, no, no
16:55How does it work?
16:56I'm sorry ladies
16:57That's not how this works
16:58We don't just pick A and move on
17:00Why?
17:01There was no banter in the 80s
17:04I want to get the job done
17:06The show will be over in two minutes
17:08You've got to
17:09You've got to discuss it with your team
17:11Okay
17:12One of those is true
17:13Debbie, can I ask you a question?
17:14Yeah
17:15Do you know what kedgerie is?
17:16I don't
17:17There you go
17:18Madonna wouldn't have known
17:19Good detective work
17:21And Americans wouldn't have eaten scones
17:24No
17:25Oh my god
17:26I mean
17:27We've never had people actually play the game before
17:31Greg, do you know what was really sweet
17:33When that
17:34When you were showing the clips
17:35Jamali
17:36When you were born in the 80s
17:37This is like the sort of Tudor times
17:39He was just going to me
17:41Is that Madonna?
17:42When you two come and he went
17:45Is that Bono?
17:46Like he was going
17:47Is that Henry VIII?
17:48Is that Anne Boleyn?
17:49Damn, I thought I was edging to be
17:54I thought he was near my age
17:55No, no
17:56All right
17:57You don't have to say
17:58Oh no
17:59Julia, I love you, I'm sorry
18:03Wow
18:04Which one are you drawn to Judy?
18:06I love the idea of drinking the hot orange juice
18:09But what was the purpose of that?
18:11To shit up the whole place
18:12Here's a fact about Le Bon
18:16After Duran Duran's performance at Live Aid
18:19Simon Le Bon went to a party at Mick Jagger's house
18:22Where Keith Richards walked in wearing the same scarf as him
18:25Delighted to have something in common with his idol
18:27Le Bon shouted
18:28Keith!
18:29Keith, look!
18:30We're wearing the same scarf!
18:31To which Keith said
18:32That's good enough reason to leave and walk out
18:35Well
18:39I'll tell you an interesting fact about Madonna
18:42Yeah
18:43When she was married to Guy Ritchie
18:44She banned him from something
18:46Want to have a guess?
18:47There was
18:48Oh
18:49I have no idea
18:50Hmm
18:51She banned him from eating chipolatas
18:53Topical the island breeze
18:56All of nature wild and free
18:59I am going to make your tea
19:01But no chipolatas
19:03Yes
19:06Yes
19:07Alrighty then
19:08So could it be U2
19:12U2 almost split up in the 80s
19:14Because Bono and The Edge believed that God had told them
19:17That The Edge had to leave the band
19:18I've just realised something
19:20Yeah?
19:21Is that how long U2's been going for?
19:22Yeah
19:23From the 80s?
19:24Yeah
19:25You're learning something Judy
19:26Damn
19:27It's like going to a museum
19:28Yeah
19:29I think I'm going to lock this in now
19:32What do you think?
19:33A
19:34The first thing we said at the start
19:35A
19:36A
19:37Yeah alright, you're right
19:38Yay!
19:39Well done guys
19:42Well done guys
19:43Well done guys
19:44Well done
19:46It is A
19:47Simon Levan says he thinks about naked ladies
19:50Before he has a photo taken to make his pupils dilate
19:53Bloody hell Simon
19:54Just get a bottle of poppers if you want to dilate
19:56Let's dilate mate
19:57Well done
19:59Pepsi and Shirley's team
20:00One point
20:01CHEERING
20:02CHEERING
20:03I don't know how we're going to go to a break in this 80s special
20:08PHONE RINGS
20:10What?
20:11Lionel Rich has fallen into a boat
20:13Yep
20:14I'll take it
20:15See you in a bit
20:16APPLAUSE
20:18Welcome back to Never Mind the Buzzcocks, we're in the 80s. Congratulations Charles and Diana, I just know you're going to have a great life together.
20:37LAUGHTER
20:40No you didn't
20:41You did
20:42Next up it's the intros round
20:43Tonight we have an 80s twist
20:45If you think you need extra help tonight, you can play a joker
20:49That means you can have another 80s legend come on and help you with the intros round
20:54They're waiting in the wings for you
20:55But if you do play your joker, you lose a point from your overall scores
20:59Jamali and Debbie, on your feet please, you're going to be performing the intros of songs to Noel
21:05Before we do, I must ask the team captain, do you want to play your joker?
21:09Err, yeah sure, why not?
21:11We're going to take a point off, let's hope the joker adds
21:14It's another 80s legend, please reveal yourself
21:17It's a mystery
21:18Ladies and gentlemen, Toya Wilkins
21:21Hey! Hello! Hello! Hello!
21:30Hi! Welcome, welcome, Toya! Thank you!
21:33Welcome! Have you been practising?
21:35I've been practising for hours!
21:38Here we go!
21:40Hang on a sec, Greg, let me just take a sip of my hot orange juice
21:44LAUGHTER
21:48Take it away!
21:50Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do
22:02Wait!
22:03Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do...
22:06Something like...
22:07Do Do Do Do...
22:11Okay, I'm gonna have to push it up
22:13Is it? Shoot, that poison arrow
22:15It is not. I can pass it over. Shirley
22:17Billie Jean?
22:18No.
22:19Incorrect.
22:20You're both wrong, I'm afraid.
22:22I thought it was wrong.
22:23It was Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley.
22:25Here's how it should have served you.
22:26Oh, my God.
22:31Do we get a point?
22:32Dun, dun.
22:33Yes, wait.
22:35Dun, dun, dun.
22:36Dun, dun, dun.
22:37Catch it.
22:38You can never remember that.
22:39Oh.
22:40Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
22:41Stop it.
22:42It was the baseline.
22:44I absolutely love Toya.
22:46Jamali's my boy.
22:47I was crushed, but that was bullshit.
22:54But I don't think...
22:55I think the main thing is that Rick Astley's light 80s pop classic
22:59didn't have this baseline in it.
23:01Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!
23:02Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!
23:04Ah!
23:05Jamali, you're a fan of that song, aren't you?
23:07Am I?
23:08That's what they told me.
23:10Have you ever heard it?
23:11You've never heard it.
23:12It's all right.
23:13Someone told me in an interview you said you love that song
23:15but you like to keep it quiet.
23:16I never said that.
23:17OK.
23:18Fuck that song.
23:20OK.
23:23I hate that song.
23:24OK.
23:26Next song,one's team, off you go.
23:27Boom-tss, boom-tss.
23:29Boom-tss...
23:30Boom-tss da-da da da da da da da.
23:34She's good, she's good.
23:35Boom-tss da da da da da da...
23:37Oh, it was me again.
23:47It's so good, Noel, come on.
23:51What is it?
23:53Did he get it?
23:57What is it?
23:59He hasn't got it.
24:01Have you got it? Say any song, Noel, I'm going to pass it over.
24:03Have you got it? No, he hasn't.
24:05We're ready. We're ready to take over.
24:07Still, mother foe, still.
24:09We're ready to pounce.
24:11What is the title of that song, this team?
24:13Is it Need You Tonight?
24:15It is Need You Tonight!
24:17It was Need You Tonight by In Excess.
24:21Here's how it should have sang.
24:23That was very good.
24:25That was dead on, the beat.
24:27Oh, my God, you look so good!
24:29He's going to find his eyes.
24:31Hello, Michael, what's going on?
24:41I'm lonely.
24:43All right, what do you think?
24:45Can't think it all.
24:47OK. I'm lonely.
24:49He's lonely.
24:51Bad luck.
24:55You guessed none correct.
24:57Oh, no!
24:59Ladies and gentlemen, Toya Wilkins!
25:03Thank you!
25:05Here we are.
25:07Here we are, here we are, here we are.
25:09It's over to Pepsi and Shirley's team, but before we do that, I would just like to show you a newspaper headline, Jamali.
25:19Have a look.
25:21Oh, dang.
25:23Fair enough.
25:27That is very good.
25:29The comedian on his secret love for Rick Astley.
25:33All right, Pepsi and Shirley and Martin, it's your turn to perform to Judy.
25:39On your feet, please.
25:40Yay!
25:41And remember, Judy, if you need help, we've got an 80s legend waiting in the wings.
25:46Can I change the rules?
25:48Can I have the guests?
25:50You certainly can't change the rules, Judy love.
25:52Can I have the guests and the guest sits and helps me?
25:56No.
25:57No, because, Judy, the guest has been told what the songs are.
26:01He's in our band.
26:06Pepsi and Shirley are the captains, and I want to ask you, would you like to play your joker?
26:11Yes, please.
26:12Oh, thank God, because the walk-on music alone is going to make me lose my mind.
26:17Pepsi and Shirley, you've asked for help from one of the 80s legends.
26:21Please reveal yourself.
26:23Oh, you've got a filthy baby, oh, yeah, yeah.
26:25Oh, you've got a filthy baby, oh, yeah, yeah.
26:27Oh, you've got a filthy baby, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:29Crooks Bond!
26:30Oh, you've got a filthy baby, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:35Oh, that's nice.
26:38What are you guys?
26:39We're going to work.
26:40Rochford, you've been practicing?
26:41No.
26:42We're relying on him.
26:43No, I'm natural.
26:44Because I'm a natural.
26:45You're just natural.
26:46another listen do you know what shirley yeah you can do that because i'm frightened of you
26:56okay listen i don't i'm not listen guys i'm not going to get this
27:01you're not going to get any of them oh i see what's going on here
27:16we're ready you're ready okay song one take it away sit down judy please
27:39judy love if you don't get that it's an outrage can we give her a clue no you may not
27:45no they can't why can't they give me no they can't because i will dive on them like a puma
27:52that was a very short is it is it is it a male singer no no you're not allowed
27:58clue what i'm saying is it's a male singer with a group there's a group and sometimes it's a
28:02girls girls in the group and there's no males in the group it's just girls it's girls two
28:09one two three three girls judy what was the title of the song judy love
28:14dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
28:21i'm passing it over
28:22baby you've got it
28:25yeah no no i know it is
28:26Desire! Desire! Desire! Desire! Desire!
28:31Venus!
28:32Venus!
28:33Venus!
28:34Venus!
28:35Zebby Gibson said Venus! It was Venus!
28:44It was Banana Rama with Venus!
28:46Oh my God! I had Banana Rama on my lips!
28:56You look so good. I'm sorry.
28:59And I had Banana Rama, you know, mate.
29:02Banana Rama had another hit with Cruel Summer,
29:04where they complained about the city being crowded
29:06and their friends being away, and they're on their own.
29:09You think that's a cruel summer?
29:11You should have been in Shropshire in 1986 when I forgot to feed my guinea pigs
29:14and one ate the other.
29:15Naughty Pepsi. Surely didn't deserve that.
29:17LAUGHTER
29:26Next one, please.
29:27OK.
29:28We need to listen. We need to hear it.
29:29We need to cover it.
29:31Reminder.
29:32This was an international huge hit.
29:36If you don't get this one, I think it's going to finish you.
29:41We needed you.
29:42Oh, come on, Judy.
29:43The whole career's over.
29:44Channel it, Judy.
29:46How many WoW?
29:47Take it away.
29:48Let's go.
29:49WoW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW, woW.
29:5379
30:1068
30:1669
30:23Stop for a second. I don't I don't want to give you clues, but I don't remember in the song the big
30:33That's just for encouragement
30:36This is bringing something is it I feel like it's a theme song to something. Oh, it might be
30:45One more time
30:53Oh
31:11Judy this is your moment. I haven't got nothing left. There's nothing left in the tank
31:15Say any song fuck it ghostbusters or some shit
31:41It was Ghostbusters by Ray Parker jr. Here's how it should have sounded
31:45Oh
31:53My
32:01That was hang on
32:05Take it
32:07I
32:09Got this one. You're gonna take this
32:13Do
32:15Do
32:17Do
32:19Do
32:21Do
32:23Do
32:25Do
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32:29Do
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34:37Do
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34:45Do
34:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:52At the end of that round, Pepsi and Shirley's team have one point,
34:55but Noel's team have two points,
34:57because we gave them the points that you cheated on.
35:03Don't start that shit. You was behind me a minute ago.
35:09I don't know how we're going to go to another break.
35:11This is an 80s special.
35:13PHONE RINGS
35:15Yes? Right, OK.
35:17You've got a picture of Debbie Gibson with two phones?
35:20Yep, I'll take it.
35:21We'll see you in a minute.
35:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:36Welcome back to Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
35:38We're in the 80s, so congratulations to Prince Andrew
35:41for your brave service in the Falklands.
35:44I just know you're always going to be a national hero!
35:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:51Our next round is called ID Parades,
35:53where our panel must identify an 80s pop star.
35:56Noel's team, you're up first.
35:58For the audience at home, take a look at this.
36:00Going on up to the spirit in the sky.
36:05That's where I'm going to go when I die.
36:09When I die and they lay me to rest.
36:12I'm going to go to the place that's the day.
36:16APPLAUSE
36:17That was Spirit in the Sky by Doctor and the Medics,
36:23but Noel's team, what I want to know is which of our line-up
36:26is the lead singer Clive Jackson,
36:28a.k.a. the doctor from the band.
36:31Is it?
36:32Number one, Spirit in the Sky.
36:34Number two, I am Gandalf and you shall not come by!
36:38Number three, when I bend over, you'll see my third eye.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:44Number four, in Civil War re-enactments, I always die.
36:48Number five, why am I here? I'm a shepherd. Come by!
36:52APPLAUSE
37:00Who is Clive Jackson from Doctor and the Medics?
37:03We've got the Charles Manson Quartet.
37:08Number four looks like me if I get stranded on a desert island
37:12for ten years.
37:16Number three is Jesus if we turn water into piss.
37:19LAUGHTER
37:20LAUGHTER
37:21LAUGHTER
37:22LAUGHTER
37:23LAUGHTER
37:24LAUGHTER
37:25LAUGHTER
37:26LAUGHTER
37:27LAUGHTER
37:28LAUGHTER
37:29LAUGHTER
37:30LAUGHTER
37:32Toya, are you drawn to anyone in particular?
37:35I am.
37:36Who?
37:37The one I know, personally.
37:40LAUGHTER
37:41APPLAUSE
37:43Now...
37:44I've just come back from Dubai with him.
37:53LAUGHTER
37:54LAUGHTER
37:55That's not fair.
37:56That's not fair.
37:57That's not fair.
37:58So, I'm keeping shtum.
38:00Number one looks like when you and your brother try and get in
38:03the cinema for free when you're 13.
38:05LAUGHTER
38:08You think it's two people on top of each other?
38:10Your dad's trench coat.
38:12LAUGHTER
38:13Oh, my God.
38:14I...
38:15I imagine you want some incredible clues.
38:17Yeah.
38:18Please, help.
38:19Anything.
38:20Clive used to own his own snail farm.
38:22LAUGHTER
38:23LAUGHTER
38:24That could be...
38:25That could literally be any one of them.
38:26Right.
38:27That does not know it down.
38:28This is literally a herd of snail farmers, isn't it?
38:31Yeah.
38:32People thought that Clive painted his face white in the Spirit
38:36in the Sky video, but in fact, he's just pale.
38:39LAUGHTER
38:40I was originally drawn to five, right?
38:44He's just got a little bit of a rock and roll attitude,
38:46the way he's standing.
38:47Yeah.
38:48He just kind of doesn't care.
38:49I love number three in them glasses.
38:50That's so fucking mental.
38:51They put you in them glasses.
38:52Those star glasses.
38:53That's so mad.
38:55Number three looks like Eric Cantanoff.
38:58His wife went out and he dressed up in all her clothes.
39:00LAUGHTER
39:01LAUGHTER
39:02LAUGHTER
39:03LAUGHTER
39:04APPLAUSE
39:05APPLAUSE
39:06Number two looks like the other member of ZZ Top,
39:09ZZ Rock Bottom.
39:10LAUGHTER
39:11LAUGHTER
39:12Oh, my God!
39:13LAUGHTER
39:14I'm having a laugh.
39:16LAUGHTER
39:17All right, I'm going to have to push you for an answer.
39:19Well, I'm just getting strong vibes off number one.
39:23Yeah.
39:24Number one's cool.
39:25They're all pretty cool.
39:26I mean, if I look like that when I'm in five years...
39:29in three months' time...
39:30LAUGHTER
39:31You'll be happy.
39:32..in a week's time, in an hour.
39:34If I look like that in an hour, I'll be fucking dreaming.
39:37Let's find out if you're right with the real Clive.
39:40Please, step forward.
39:43Ehhh...
39:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:49APPLAUSE
39:50What a team.
39:51It's a union.
39:55Clive, thank you for joining us.
39:57What are you up to these days?
39:58Well, I'm glad to say that Doctor and the Medics
40:00are still very much alive and kicking.
40:02However, we have been working on that tricky fifth album
40:05for 20 years.
40:07And I'm kidding you not.
40:08But kids, I'm pleased to announce
40:10that The Ultimate Mystic will be released
40:13sometime this decade.
40:14They're back!
40:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:18Ladies and gentlemen, it's here for our guests
40:20and for Clive!
40:22The Doctor!
40:30Pepsi and Shirley's team, here's your line-up.
40:32For the audience at home, take a look at this.
40:34FLEET SING2
40:37MUSIC
40:39I EAT CANNABLES
40:40FLEET jsem
40:42MISSION
40:44MUSIC
40:45Analytics
40:46MUSIC
40:47CHELSE
40:49EAT CANNIBALS?
40:51That was I Eat Cannibals by Toto Coelho.
40:57But can you tell me which of our line-up is singer Anita from the band?
41:01Is it number one, I eat cannibals.
41:04Number two, I eat anything, I'm mad, mate.
41:06Number three, I eat rotisserie chicken while it's still spinning,
41:09I'm also mad.
41:10Number four, I eat people's souls, behold, I'm the necromancer made flesh.
41:14Or number five, I eat at my local Italian three nights a week,
41:18run by Giuseppe and his wife Maria.
41:20It's delicious and very reasonably priced.
41:23Bellissimo!
41:25This is just like a mum I used to make!
41:32Hex and Chili's team, you are looking for Anita,
41:34the lead singer of Toto Coelho.
41:37Number five looks very spiritual.
41:39She looks like a wild woman, doesn't she?
41:41She does.
41:42Just spiritual, just very like, I eat cannibals.
41:45Does she look like she sings?
41:47Yeah.
41:48Yeah.
41:49Number five.
41:50Number four looks like, how the hell did I get here?
41:55Really?
41:56And the others?
41:57Number three looks like she could have been in a band at one time.
41:59Yeah.
42:00Martin?
42:01I think number one is a little bit young for the job.
42:03Yeah, it's like having me standing up there, do you know what I mean?
42:08I'm warming to number three.
42:10Do you like some clues?
42:11Yeah.
42:12We've got a poorly paid researcher on the team who finds these clues out.
42:16Anita is very scared of spiders.
42:18There you go.
42:20Does a researcher understand what the word clue means?
42:23Yeah.
42:24Got more, do you want more?
42:25Yes, please.
42:26Anita once shared a lift with David Bowie.
42:28That's more interesting.
42:29Wow.
42:30Have you noticed something?
42:31We've completely skipped number two.
42:33Yes.
42:34What's that?
42:35Not been mentioned.
42:36What's that?
42:37Not been mentioned.
42:38Yeah, but my gut feeling is it could be number two.
42:40Can I ask a question, Greg?
42:41Can you play the music and can we see them dance to it?
42:44Well, it's highly irregular.
42:46Let's do this.
42:47I'm going to play the music in and they can do what they want.
42:50Yeah.
42:51And I'm coming to you for an answer.
42:52So can we have the music?
42:53I need cannibals.
42:57Being a cannibal.
42:59Your love is a little to me.
43:03I need cannibals.
43:05But can I say, number three is staring like she's fighting the urge.
43:11You know?
43:12Yeah.
43:13To dance.
43:14Or she drank warm orange juice.
43:22Okay.
43:23My gut instinct is one or two.
43:25Five.
43:26It's not five.
43:27It's five.
43:28Okay, then.
43:29So how are we going to decide it?
43:30It's five.
43:31How do Pepsi and Shirley decide things back in the day?
43:33We go like this.
43:34Five.
43:35Five.
43:36Okay.
43:37Wow, what a system.
43:40Would the real Anita please step forward?
43:47Yeah!
43:48Yeah!
43:49Yeah!
43:50Oh, yes!
43:51She's gorgeous, isn't she?
43:53Pepsi and Shirley, you were right!
43:57Whoo!
43:58Ladies and gentlemen, can we hear it for all of our line-up, and especially for Anita!
44:06And at the end of that round, Pepsi and Shirley's team have two points, and Noel's team have three points!
44:17It's time for next line.
44:18Here we go.
44:19Your time.
44:20Pepsi and Shirley's team.
44:21Starts now.
44:22Ooh, baby.
44:23Do you know what that's worth?
44:24Heaven is a place on earth.
44:25Correct.
44:26Belinda Carlisle, Heaven is a Place on Earth.
44:27No money man can win my love.
44:28No money man can win my love.
44:29No money man can win my love.
44:30No money man can win my love.
44:31The sweetness said on things.
44:32The sweetness said on things.
44:33The sweetness said on things.
44:34The sweetness that I'm thinking on.
44:35Yes.
44:36OK.
44:37Just a reminder, you're against the clock.
44:38Oh, yeah.
44:39That sweetness I'm thinking of.
44:40Correct.
44:41Nayna Cherry.
44:42Can't complain, mustn't grumble.
44:43Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.
44:44Yes, ABC!
44:46That was the end of this is now.
44:48A cuddly toy is my only joy.
44:49Wait for me when I get home.
44:50Yes.
44:51Andrew Rocheford, go on!
44:52Yes!
44:53Yeah!
44:54Yes!
44:55Yes!
44:56Yes!
44:57Yes!
44:58Yes!
44:59Yes!
45:00Yes!
45:01Let me join.
45:02Gold, always believe in your soul.
45:04You've got the power to know.
45:06You're indestructible.
45:09Always believe in.
45:11Spando Ballet in gold.
45:13Whoo!
45:15Well done, well done, well done.
45:18Well done.
45:19OK, well done, Patrick and Shirley's team.
45:21You've got five right.
45:26Gold's team.
45:27How many do we need?
45:28Here are yours, you need five to win.
45:30We're going to do it really slow and you'll get upset.
45:32I couldn't give a fuck.
45:34Yeah.
45:35Your time starts now.
45:37Sometimes you're better off dead.
45:39That's right, Greg, remember that.
45:40What?
45:41You're better off dead.
45:43You've got a something, something pointing at your head.
45:46Wait, wait.
45:47There's a gun at your head.
45:48There's a gun at your head.
45:49There's a gun at your head.
45:50There's a gun at your head.
45:51There's a gun at your head.
45:52There's a gun at your head.
45:53Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls.
45:54There's a boy I know.
45:55He's the one I dream of.
45:56Look into my eyes.
45:57Take them to the clouds above.
45:58Whitney Houston.
45:59When I wake up, what I know I'm going to be.
46:01When I wake up, the man who wakes up next to you.
46:03Correct.
46:04Proclaimers, I'm going to be 500 miles.
46:06Oh, can't you see?
46:07I'm not fooling nobody.
46:08Don't you see?
46:09The tears are falling down my face.
46:10Correct.
46:11Debbie Gibson.
46:12Foolish beat.
46:13I'm never going to dance again.
46:14I can't.
46:15I've hurt my knee.
46:16Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
46:17Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
46:18George Michael, careless whisper.
46:20It's a mystery.
46:21It's a mystery.
46:22It's a mystery to me.
46:23A shot in the dark.
46:25No.
46:26I'm searching.
46:27It's a mystery.
46:28It's a mystery.
46:29I'm still searching for a clue.
46:30Toya Wilcox.
46:31It's a mystery.
46:32Oh, fuck.
46:33We're no strangers to love.
46:35That's right.
46:36Come on, Jamali.
46:37You know the rules and so do I.
46:38You know the rules.
46:39Correct.
46:40They're never going to give you up.
46:41Stark.
46:45That sound means it's the end of the round and it's the end of the show.
46:48And I can tell you that Pepsi and Shirley's team have seven points.
46:51But with eight points, our winners of the 80 special tonight,
46:55it's Noel's team!
47:03My thanks to you, Debbie, Noel, Toya, Jamali, Judy, Pepsi, Shirley,
47:08Martin and Brooksman.
47:10Goodnight!
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