- 2 days ago
Justine Lupe sits down in-studio with Who What Wear Editor in Chief and fellow new mom Kat Collings to talk about all things motherhood—including filming season 1 of Nobody Wants This while pregnant with her daughter, Ellis. Lupe opens up about her newfound primal instincts, the challenges of postpartum life, and how she consulted an astrologer for advice on how to balance motherhood with her career. Plus, she shares the story of the "naked" dress she wore to the Emmys and behind-the-scenes details from Nobody Wants This season 2 (out tomorrow!)
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00:00We were in the bath together and then I like turned around to like adjust the
00:03water temperature in the bath and then I turned back around. This might be TMI.
00:10Hi Justine, thank you so much for joining me today. Hi, thanks for having me.
00:15Well, the occasion of us being in this podcast studio is to celebrate your cover with us for
00:20our inaugural Who What Wear Parents issue. So cool. You're wearing this, I don't know if you've
00:30pink Chloe dress. We chose that for the cover and you look phenomenal. Really? No, I haven't found
00:35out. I haven't found out what pictures you're using. So that's exciting though, because I love
00:39that dress. That is happening. And then when this airs the next day, it'll be the eve of season two
00:45coming out of Nobody Wants This, which of course you star in and everybody I know watches the show
00:51and loves it. So it's an exciting moment for us. I'm glad that you're excited for me. I was about
00:58to say thanks for being excited on my behalf. I'm like, it's exciting for us here in this pod
01:02together. So we'll talk motherhood and show and we'll just dive right in. Okay, great. I want to
01:08talk a little bit because it blends so perfectly with two things I want to touch on. Being pregnant
01:13while filming season one of the show. So my first question is how? Because as far as I know,
01:20nobody has escaped the first trimester extreme fatigue where like you could fall asleep at any
01:27moment. You don't get to choose when you nap. Did you have that and how did you deal?
01:32So I actually got the job when I was in my first trimester and then I started the job like right
01:39at the end of my first trimester. It was divine intervention in a real way because yes, I felt like
01:44I had mono through my first trimester. I like could not get up. It was so, so tiring. So yeah,
01:51I really lucked out that it started and then I was in like that amazing kind of reinvigorating
01:57second trimester like renaissance moment. Like birds are singing. Yeah, totally. You're like,
02:03I can do anything. Yeah, it was a different, it was a very different experience than what I was
02:09experiencing a month prior. So yeah, I lucked out. That's good timing. But even still like the energy,
02:14you know, energy of being on set all day, I'm sure that was intense. And I feel like you,
02:17in my mind, joined a class of women like Rihanna performing at the Super Bowl. Like
02:21just moms are a different breed. Yeah. You know, I lucked out in that I
02:26got to experience Sarah Snook be pregnant all through succession season four and see what she
02:33could do. And I think there's something psychosomatic about knowing someone can do that
02:37kind of work. Yeah. It's like an expander kind of, you know, I felt good. I actually felt really good.
02:43I mean, the things that were hardest were like, you know, I would like eat a burrito and then like
02:47everything would just like pop open. Like my skirt would just be like on the ground and I'd be like,
02:52oh no, I'm like expanding past the capacity of my clothes. So there was like a lot of
02:57adjusting that the costume department had to do like week to week to kind of catch up to my body
03:02growing. Yeah. It was more just that they would have fittings week to week and every week was a
03:07different episode. Like it moves really quick. So we did 10 episodes in 10 weeks. Yeah. Which was
03:14actually also a blessing because, you know, there wasn't too much time that I was like really,
03:20really pregnant on the show. But yeah, they would bring me in every week, do a fitting,
03:24retry things on, refigure out how do we hide this in a different way? Because, you know, the bigger I
03:29got, the more creative they had to get about like, okay. You're asking a lot of us. Yeah, totally.
03:34But they were wonderful. They were really, really generous about navigating that whole process with
03:41me. Yeah. I'm sure you became like best friends, like had to really like spend a lot of time.
03:44Yigar is like a very dear, dear person in my life. Yeah. They're all great. And speaking of your
03:51former co-star, Sarah Snook, I heard she gave you some parenting advice, like wrote you a big thing.
03:56I read that somewhere. She's been a good friend through the whole thing. She wrote me when I got
04:01pregnant. She gave me some like really great podcasts to listen to for like the fourth trimester,
04:06which is postpartum. And then when postpartum came, she checked in on me. She wrote me another
04:10kind of like breakdown of you're so unprepared for what happens after you give birth. Like I did a lot
04:17of thinking about postpartum and she was really helpful in terms of being like, you have nine months
04:23of pregnancy and you're going to get so much information about being a pregnant woman and people
04:28forget about what happens after you give birth. So I had like put my mind there, but there's just
04:33no like preparation possible for the impact of like what that is after giving birth. So she was
04:41just really helpful with like the little nitty gritty questions that I had. Like how do we sleep at
04:47all? And like, how do I like, did you, do you have any tips on like what my husband can do to help me
04:52out in the middle of the night? Like with the swaddling and the feeding and the breast,
04:56like we're so hands-on with the babies. And I think sometimes the guys are like, okay,
05:00how can I help? I need, and I didn't even know what to tell him. So she was really helpful with
05:05that too. She's been great. Yes. Yeah. Yes. That's amazing to have that. I feel like everyone
05:10has at least one fairy godmother who's like gave birth somewhat recently-ish before and is still on
05:16like, they're like, oh my God, let me help you. Totally. I had a lot and I feel like I understand it
05:23now that I'm on the other side. Cause it's like, you just, it's, it's this hugely steep learning
05:28curve and you feel like proud of all the information that you gather and you really feel so much empathy
05:34for anyone who's about to go through it. So I feel like very available to any of my girlfriend. Like
05:39girls, I'm ready to go. If you have a baby, like I'm ready to talk. Yeah. I'm like, I will be that
05:44person for you and like pay it forward. It's like this fun cycle. Yeah. It's, it's really sweet.
05:48And there were four people who were expecting, um, pregnant during the filming of the first
05:53season, right? On set. So that's like some powerful mom energy. There's a lot of energy.
05:58Did you guys like commiserate together, share advice? Erin and I talked a little bit,
06:03but it was less about like commiserating and more just being like, wow, there are four pregnant women
06:08working in this capacity on set. Like how exciting that this is the day and age that we're in,
06:15that that's something that's like so welcomed. To your point of, you know, the fact that here we
06:19are in 2024, 2025, and I feel like it was Lucille Ball and I Love Lucy who like wanted to either
06:26show her pregnancy or even say the word pregnancy. And it was super controversial.
06:30Wow. And so just to think. That's crazy.
06:33Yeah. Just to think how far we've come that like people were against it and it was a big moment and
06:38how much has changed since then. I know, I know. And I don't want to ignore that it's still,
06:42you know, after I said, I said something about that last year, like how wonderful it is that
06:46we're in a time that like Netflix was like behind it, you know, and that all the execs were like
06:52cheering me on and it was like really a warm reception. But I'm sure there are cases where
06:58that's not the case where someone does still feel a little bit unsafe and it's such a shame and it's
07:03so tricky that women have to like think about these things. Even when people are welcoming about the
07:08whole process, like you still have to navigate literally with logistics. Like, okay, if I want
07:12to have another kid, when can I be pregnant? When will it show? So it's funny that it's something
07:18that's like so part of our life. It's so intrinsic to us all being here and yet that it's like
07:23secretive and sometimes difficult.
07:25Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. And I do think that being said, it's like clear that there's a really
07:30different way of thinking about it than there was back when Lucille Ball was not able to say
07:36the word pregnant. Yeah. Nuts. Yeah. Season two, I want to talk about it. So this season has some
07:42fun new elements I read about. Leighton Meester comes on as a new cast member and she's kind of,
07:48you know, I think among fashion girls, kind of an icon, especially watching Gossip Girl.
07:52She's such a cool, like, it girl kind of vibe and she's so goofy on this show. I wouldn't expect
07:59that. That's so funny. And generous and like ready to go. Like she feels like she gives so much.
08:04Like she's so available as an actor and so game for anything. And I really, I really like her a
08:10lot. I was going to ask about the dynamics on sex. I'm always curious. You kind of described her and
08:14I'm curious, was there somebody who's like the like set mom or set dad, somebody who like always
08:19had that like mothering energy? I feel like KB just has like a maternal air about her. She always like
08:26has snacks and she's always giving tips and advice and like has like an article that she just read.
08:32Yeah. And, and, and she is such a mom. Like she has two girls that she's like such an incredible
08:39mom too. So I think that that just like carries into the way that she just interacts with everyone
08:43is just very warm and like cozy and mom, mommy. Let's talk about Morgan, your character's style
08:50on the show. I feel like it's kind of California cool, but then she also, um, for that bat mitzvah
08:55scene in season one, she kind of pulled out the glam moment. Yeah. So I'm curious if there are any
08:59outfits that you especially loved wearing or that you feel like the, the public had a strong reaction
09:04to, you know, I had the most fun with the bomber jackets that I would wear with like the little
09:11skirts, like the basketball outfit I loved. I, it was definitely in reaction to my belly growing that
09:18they were like, let's put a bomber jacket on. There's something really cool about like a big
09:24jacket and like legs with tights on them. I like, I've never done that in my day-to-day life. And
09:30now I'm like, okay, it's cool. Yeah. But I like Morgan style. It's very cool. And they did a really
09:36good job of, you know, before they knew I was pregnant, they had gone out and they had gotten
09:41like this huge wardrobe together, all the stuff that I was going to wear. And it was like a really
09:46clear character that they had built with these outfits. And, you know, then I got pregnant or I was
09:53pregnant and I told them cause I was out of my first trimester and it wasn't like as vulnerable
09:57of a thing to share. And they did such a good job of keeping the essence and the character alive in
10:04these new outfits that were a little bit more, I guess, conservative or like covered up a little
10:09bit more because Morgan, you know, in the first round, there was a lot of like mini skirts and little
10:14tiny like tanks that showed my belly and like did such a good job of keeping that vibe alive.
10:20I love the way that Morgan dresses. I'm such a t-shirt and jeans, uniform kind of gal normally
10:26that it was just really fun to embrace like something totally different and feel how that
10:32felt different on my body. And yeah. Yeah. It kind of pushes you to like try new things,
10:36especially when you have your uniform. Totally. I'm like, oh, this would be like if I dress
10:39well. No, but you know what I mean? You're like, oh, fashion does something to the way that you
10:46carry yourself. Yeah, absolutely. One thing your character struggles with is sort of like feeling
10:51like she's losing her sister to the hot rabbi relationship. And I think motherhood too can be
10:56a big one where it's like things shift, you know, if you've, you know, some friends get closer and
11:01some friends, you know, kind of drift a little bit. In the show, you and Kristen Bell have a huge,
11:06you know, blow up fight over this sort of tension that's happening. And I'm curious if you have any
11:10tips in real life, how to navigate those like shifting friendships. Totally. I think I always
11:18go back to whenever I'm having some sort of a feeling is to just be okay, letting yourself have
11:25that feeling. Yeah. Like letting yourself mourn the loss of a friendship or like feeling the kind of
11:32heartache that comes with like a friend moving on into their love of their life relationship. Yeah.
11:37Um, and being honest with yourself that that's like a tough thing. It's a tough thing to watch
11:41a friend evolve into a new version of themselves. And it's like incredibly celebratory and you're
11:46excited for them. And also it can be hard. So I think just allowing the feeling to like live in
11:52you for a little while and to be gentle with yourself about it. And also to know that that's
11:59just like a part of life and that it's probably coming for you too. And to let yourself feel all the
12:04feelings, the celebration and the kind of heartache. Yeah. I read somewhere that the average person
12:10has about seven relationships that like friendships that like stay through their life, which I'm like
12:14seven. Like that means a lot of friends, they come and go. So it is a natural part of life,
12:18but I feel like it's a part of life that's not, you know, they don't talk about like friendships or
12:21relationships dissolving as much as compared to romantic relationship. I know. I think that some of
12:26the hardest breakups I've ever had have been with friends. Yeah. No, it's true. You go from like
12:31sleepovers and like being in each other's beds in your twenties and like waking up together and
12:36like going out together. And then it's like, you know, losing that is like a big deal. Like
12:41there's such intimacy in, in female friendships and male friendships. Um, so yeah, I, I don't know.
12:46I mean, I've been really lucky to hold on to some long, long friendships. And also I've gone through
12:51the, with the holding on to long-term friendships, you have to kind of evolve through all the different
12:58changes with your good friends. And some of that can be really tough. I think everyone's
13:02dying to know, obviously the cliffhanger of season one was with Kristen Bell's character and
13:06hot rabbi. Like, is she going to convert or are they going to stay together? What's, what's the
13:10thing? And also your, uh, your character's relationship with Sasha, um, which is such an
13:16interesting, I feel like it's so nuanced. Um, I love that. Um, so I know usually things can't
13:22be shared, but is there anything you can share about the season ahead? I think that Jenny and Bruce
13:26and Aaron really, really wanted to give the audience what they loved about last season.
13:34So there's a really, it does feel like the show, like the show continues and the essence
13:39of the show is still there. It's about what happens past, you know, as relationships evolve,
13:45the energy that they have evolved. So, you know, like the first season, like there's a different
13:51feeling to that than there is with the second season. It's about like, what do we do now that
13:56we're in relationships? I have a friend that's pregnant and she, I was like, do you have your
14:00programming ready of what you're going to watch when you, um, cause I feel like everyone has
14:04their comfort show. Um, her answer was, Oh, um, nobody wants us is coming back for season
14:09two. And I was like, Oh, of course it is. That's awesome. So that is the best news. It's
14:16so nice to hear when like someone just needs a little bit of levity that they turn to the show.
14:21I feel like we were in a bit of a rom-com desert for a while and people were really
14:24craving that. I think that things are kind of singularly dark right now. So it's nice
14:29to have any kind of blip of light, warm, optimistic feeling. A little 28 minutes or however long
14:36the show is, uh, totally. On a totally separate note, I've heard you're a Gemini. I am. And
14:43I feel like we're in LA and we have to talk about it. Let's talk about it. I can talk about
14:46it. Okay. Um, so you, uh, Sagittarius, which are sister signs. I'm just saying, I'm trying
14:52to be weird. No, no, no, no, no. I love Sag energy. What's the most Gemini thing about
14:56you? I am very mercurial. I like talking. I like sharing thoughts. I like hearing people's
15:02thoughts. I'm really curious. Um, your mind is just like, yeah, going totally. I'm like
15:07mostly there up in the air. Yeah. And I just really like learning about people. It's like
15:14my way of connection. So like, you know, even in romantic partnership, like I get really
15:19excited about talking and like could care less about like, you know, making out. I'm just
15:26kidding. I also like making out, but I will say that I do feel like my, the way, the first
15:32way of connection for me is just like chatting conversation. I love it. And then I feel like
15:37you have to find a special, a special man that is. Yeah. My husband is like incredibly
15:41funny, loves talking. He's really quiet until he's not quiet. And then he's really chatty.
15:48So the best kind of person who like, doesn't like reveal it all. And you're like, Oh, when
15:52you know them, they like show their real totally people who don't know him well would be like
15:55that guy loves talking because he's also quite an introvert. Okay. But in the relationship,
16:01like the moment that he got comfortable and chatty, it was like, we don't stop talking.
16:06Oh yeah. I love that. Wanted to pivot to fashion really fast. A fashion moment IRL that you had
16:11recently, the Emmys. Oh yeah. You wore a Carolina Herrera dress by Wes Gordon. Wow.
16:19Thank you. There is no question actually. It's just wow. Thanks. I want to know how you picked,
16:26how you picked it, how it came to life. Well, you know, I saw a picture of it on the runway.
16:31Rebecca Ramsey, my stylist sent me a picture of it a while ago, like right after it went down the
16:36runway. And I had the same exact reaction. I was like, Oh, wow. Like that is gorgeous. And then I
16:43sent it to my publicists and they were also like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Holy smokes. That's beautiful.
16:48It was on our radar. And then when the Emmys came up, we were like, well, what about asking about this?
16:54Like, could we see if we could get it? And yeah, it's just like, it feels like a champagne glass of a
17:00outfit. Like it's so like, it's so fancy and happy and celebratory and sexy. So when they said that
17:06they were going to send it, I was like over the moon. I heard there was a little navigation around
17:12the sheerness of it. Yeah. So I'd never done anything like this. Like I'm not like a, I don't
17:19really go for like the bombshell see-through kind of thing. Make a dress. So I didn't quite know how to
17:26navigate like just everything showing. And part of the beauty of the dress is, is how sheer it is.
17:33And you don't want to add another layer of like thickness to it. You want it to just, you know,
17:38be what it is, which is fairly transparent. But also we were like, is my butt okay?
17:46Checking in on the butt.
17:47Checking in on the butt.
17:48Especially if you're really seeing what's going on by the end.
17:50Totally. And navigating like what underwear will work with this? And like, how do we,
17:55like, do we see a panty line? Like, what do we do? So yeah, we went through several steps to try
18:00and figure out how to make that work. That was your first Emmys, right?
18:03Yeah. In the beginning, I was like, wow, this is so overwhelming. There's so many people.
18:07It's like such a spectacle. It's so stimulating. And there was like a moment where at the very
18:13beginning, I was like, Justine, you can be nervous about this or like be overstimulated or be
18:20like about it. Or you can like really lean into remembering that this is something that you grew
18:27up like aspiring to go to. Like this is an event that, you know, you used to watch and go like,
18:34Oh, I wish one day I could get there. And that it's like such a bucket list moment. Even though
18:41it's like bizarre and kind of crazy, it's just also incredibly special. And like, don't let that
18:48nerves get in the way. Yeah. And also don't let it like just fly by, like really let it
18:53like drink it in. And so I did, I did a really good job of that. My dad sent me some screenshots
18:59of like the TV and he's like, I'm, you're smiling. You're smiling in a way that I've never,
19:04like, I was just like a little kid in a candy store, just like beaming through the whole thing.
19:08I had so much fun. Oh, you're like happy to be here. Yeah. Just so happy to be here.
19:12I want to pivot to parenthood. I feel like we could talk about this for a long time.
19:15I have a daughter as well. And you have, um, your daughter, Ellis, who I believe is 13 months.
19:20Yeah. That's a tender age. Um, and this is a great name. Um, I have a niece named Ellis.
19:25You do? I do. Oh, that's awesome. How did you settle on the name?
19:29My husband picked it and I think he picked it because of Brett East and Ellis. And then
19:35we looked it up and it meant kind and benevolent, which is always like a nice sentiment to put behind
19:42a baby. Um, and, and then he got it tattooed onto his hand before she was born. Oh yeah.
19:49Pretty early on. And I was like, okay, so that's her name. I thought I was making a commitment by
19:54getting some things embroidered before she was my daughter. I see your embroidery and I raise you
19:59tattooing it onto my body. Impressive. As a parent, like there's so many mini milestones,
20:04um, that some of you didn't even know existed until that your, your child was doing them. Um,
20:10what fun stuff is Ellis doing? She just started going, no, she started being like, we'd be like,
20:15can I have a kiss? And she'd be like, which was like kind of out of nowhere. Cause it's like, so,
20:20it's so sassy. Yeah. It's sassy, but it's also like silly. Like, no, no, no, no, no. It's really
20:25sweet. She has started to like make sounds. So we'll be like, what cat, what sound does a cat make?
20:31And she'll go, or like a dog. She knows wolf. Like there's like random, just out of nowhere,
20:38you'll be like, where's your head? And she'll like know where it is. Yeah. It's just all these
20:42things that we've been doing and saying around her are like, finally, like she's like online and
20:47you're like, she's revealing that she's been picking them up, which is such a cool, it's such
20:53a cool realization to be like, oh, you've been gathering. And now you're able to be like,
20:57I've heard you. It's really sweet. Once it starts, it's just like,
21:01explosion. Totally. I'm really excited. Has she come to set? Does she ever come visit you?
21:07She's come a lot. I like ended up like pretty early on, we put a pack and play in the trailer
21:13and, um, my nanny, Samantha, who's there like a few days a week, she would come to set and
21:20bring her in and between breaks I would hang out with them. And then I'd like go back and she would
21:25hang out at base camp with everyone and come to set and sit behind the monitor. We like, again,
21:30it's like the most welcoming vibes, like Jenny and Nora and Bruce and Aaron, they're all like so
21:35excited to have a baby around. It's like, they're like, oh, the work is over there. Like, let's go
21:40like play with this baby. In the show, uh, there's a little storyline about getting the ick. Yeah.
21:46And obviously that's in regards to a romantic relationship. Um, but I kind of want to talk
21:50parenting icks and I'm going to go first. Okay. A parenting ick I have is when people,
21:55you know, I think they just really let, let their, their lips get a little loose around the things
22:00they say to pregnant people. And I have one that was like, um, a girl I know was like,
22:05did you mean to get pregnant? And I was like, well, I know we're in different life stages,
22:10but yes, I'm so sorry. I did. It's just kind of bizarre. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
22:16yeah. And then the other thing that I get, I wouldn't call it an ick, but I am a little
22:20weirded out by the windy. Oh, I gotta tell you, I am such a fan of the windy. I mess around with
22:28the snot sucker that I get down with, which is another product. The windy like saved us on several
22:34occasions. I understand. I really understand. It's a weird tool and it's kind of like, is this
22:40okay? Right. There were some moments where I was like, this is literally saving my baby.
22:46Yeah. Right. Like making her happy and not in pain or whatever. But I had a similar thing. I had a lot
22:53of, cause my husband and I weren't married before we had, um, Ellis and I had my parenting ick or
23:00like the loose lip thing that you said. I had a few people be like, so like, you guys aren't married?
23:05Like a little like judgment. Totally. It was a lot of older people. You'd be like,
23:10no, we're not. When you first said parenting ick, my mind went to like a gross moment with the baby,
23:15which is that we were in the bath together and she farted and I was like, Oh, that smells bad.
23:20And then I like turned around to like adjust the water temperature and the bath. And then I turned
23:25back around and she, this might be TMI. She had a poop in her hand that she was putting in her mouth.
23:32I wasn't expecting to say that. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. It was the ickiest thing I've
23:39ever experienced in my life. I was like, I just saw a human being eat poop. Oh boy. And you're like,
23:45it was so bad. Like obviously it's gross, but is it like, is this a health concern?
23:49No, totally. I was like, Tyson, you need to get on the, get on the computer. Like do all the
23:54research. Like, are we okay? I was like trying to wash her, her mouth out like every way that I
23:58could possibly. It was terrible. It was terrible. I've been surprised at my threshold for gross.
24:04Yeah. Totally. Like I'm like sneezing my face, please. Like I like it. I welcome it. Like eating
24:09things that she like spit out, like she'll like not be interested in something. And then I'll just,
24:13I'm like, it's gross. I've turned into like a rat. Like motherhood has turned me into like
24:19a gross rat. It's easier to eat it than like go walk over to the trash. Totally. I'm like,
24:23I don't want to waste it. So I'm sure like it's my child's spit, whatever. Like there's so many,
24:28or like picking her nose. You're just like, I mean, you did the snot sucker. Like it really just
24:32brings us back down to like the most primal thing. I had a weird moment when I had her where she came
24:41out and her, you know, she was like covered in blood. And I had this like weird, like primal
24:47sensation that I felt like a lion or something where I was like, I want to lick her head.
24:51Like I want to clean this. I am you. You are me.
24:54Totally. I didn't do it, but I was like, that's an interesting, that's an interesting impulse.
24:58Did you always know you wanted to be a parent? Do you feel like, you know, that was, you were meant
25:03to be a mom?
25:03I think so. Yeah, I did. I always have wanted to have kids. I didn't know when I wanted to have
25:09kids or how many kids I wanted. And I didn't really have like a vision of it, but my parents
25:14were such great parents and they were such involved parents. And I could feel like the joy that being
25:21parents brought them. And so I think that, yeah, they're, um, they were incredible. So there's
25:29something about seeing them having fun as parents that I think was just instilled in me. Like,
25:35oh, I want to have kids myself. Yeah. And even now, like when I talk to my dad, he'll be like,
25:41it's an amazing thing to like relive being a child with a child. And I feel that, like, I feel like I'm
25:48seeing things differently and like absorbing things in a different way. I'm like kind of catching the
25:54way that she's experiencing the world in a way that I haven't in so long. And I feel what he
26:01described. I know the slowing down and the like, ah, I think we're so, I mean, me included just so
26:08on the, in the cyber of it all or in the thinking about the future. Yes. And it's kind of amazing to
26:14see someone who's just like so on the ground. It's definitely been a wake up call for me. And it's,
26:20it's incredible. What do you think is, isn't discussed enough with, with parenthood? I mean,
26:25so much, but if you had to share a thing or two. I think the hormonal shift when you wean.
26:33Okay. Are you still breastfeeding? I am. And, but I've, I only heard about this whispers of it.
26:40I didn't know about it. And basically when I started working again, I was pumping and she was like
26:45drinking off the bottle when I was at work and my boobs like slowly, not slowly, quickly stopped.
26:53They just shut down. We're done. Yeah. It was a wild thing that happened. I had like crazy anxiety.
27:00I like felt really out of control. I was like, I don't know what's happening. Like I felt like a
27:05different thing than I'd ever felt. Yeah. Sad, anxious. I didn't know what was going on. Like I was
27:10like, what is this? Is this like me going back to work? Is this like a heady thing? Like what is
27:14happening? Cause there was no, like, it was like a physical sensation and my body was like
27:19totally out of control. And then my brain would go like, what's going on? Like it didn't understand.
27:23Like it was like, what's the rational reason behind my body being this like weird feeling.
27:30Yeah. And so it would go on this like spiral trying to figure out like, what am I anxious about? My,
27:34my brain would follow my body. Yeah. It was terrible. How long did it last? What do you say?
27:39It went on for about like two and a half months. Okay. That's way longer than I thought. It's long,
27:46but I also like, I mean, people do slow weaning, like, and I, mine just went from like a hundred
27:51to zero and I didn't have any like postpartum depression or anything like that, but this was
27:55like real and I didn't know anything about it. And so finally I kind of just started being like open
28:00with friends who had had babies about it. And then like, do you guys know? And they were like sending
28:04me articles from like, you know, all kinds of publications. And I was like, oh, this is like
28:09a thing. And it has been talked about, but it's not really talked about that often. And it really
28:15was helpful to know that like, oh, right. Duh. Like your body's been like sustaining, feeding another
28:20hormones person. And now like all the hormones that made that happen are gone.
28:26And there should be guidance too, from like your, your doctor, your pediatrician.
28:29I mean, my girlfriends were ready to talk about it once we talked about it.
28:33Right. Right. Yeah. That's long enough to feel like you're like, is this my new normal?
28:36Like, is this me?
28:36Totally. It was a little bit scary.
28:38Yeah.
28:39Yeah. And I was working through it. So I was like, yeah, it was kind of a weird experience.
28:45Is there like a kind of euphoria that comes after the sadness?
28:49I mean, I feel great now. I feel really good. I feel like I'm like, everything's kind of even
28:54now and I'm feeling great. And also like, yeah, I feel like more like myself than I felt for
29:00that amount of time. I loved, I loved the first stages of being a mom, but I will say like,
29:05I finally am feeling like, okay, like, yeah, I'm getting back to myself a little bit more.
29:11A little, a handle on things.
29:13Yeah. I feel good. So don't worry. It's going to be okay.
29:15I'm like, okay, okay. I'm learning a lot.
29:18You mentioned your family. What aspects of your upbringing do you think you would like
29:22to, you know, bring to your own parenting?
29:25My parents were incredibly playful. My mom was incredibly maternal, really like touchy,
29:31feely, cuddly. Like I felt so safe with her. So that's something I really want to give my
29:36daughter is like the feeling that my mom gave me in terms of like, just being like a cozy place.
29:42They were incredibly supportive, like always. Like they encouraged like any kind of exploration
29:48of any kind of subject that I wanted to go for. So I never had that thing where people are like,
29:53you want to be an actor. Like my parents were like always like behind me and really available.
30:00I think that the thing that I would want to change is I think my parents, they gave every
30:06single part of themselves to being parents and like never went on a vacation. I never had a
30:12babysitter. I had a babysitter one time because I begged my parents to let this lifeguard that I
30:16had a crush on be my babysitter. And then I ended up hiding the whole time in my room and like didn't
30:22even interact with the guy because I was like so nervous actually. Like I want this man in my
30:26house, but I've got to be in a separate room. Totally. I was like, I do want you around,
30:29but also I'm like terrified. You're so cute. So I think that I want to keep the connection alive,
30:37like the romantic connection alive with my husband, like go on dates, like maybe go out every once in
30:42a while, like have a little bit more of a sense of my own like agency. You know, my mom like kind of
30:50gave everything to us. And I think that when we grew up, it was like a little bit like
30:54empty nest syndrome extreme because she had just been so committed to us as kids.
30:59The identity has to. Totally. So I just, I guess like I would prioritize like date night in a
31:05different way than my parents did and taking some time for me. It's so nice being with her, but
31:11I do feel like it's important to like go and have. Yeah. Yeah. Like my therapist was like,
31:17go on a date once a week and you don't talk about the baby the whole time. Hard, hard, hard.
31:22Yeah. Totally. Yeah. The relationship, um, thing is interesting. Um, adding a baby to the mix for me,
31:29I was just like, there's a triangle now. And before it was just like this one, one thing. And now the
31:35love is like moving around and it's, it's, are you enjoying it? I'm like, I'm obsessed with it.
31:40Like, I feel like my husband is like, it's so cool seeing him be this person. Yes. I'm so excited by
31:48how good of a dad he is. And I'm really love like the unit. Like I love feeling like,
31:55like this is our little pet. Yeah. Yeah. It's very sweet. Yeah. It's very special. But I do,
32:00I think the encouragement to, to also nurture the relationship going to it is like always this.
32:07Yeah. Is, is, is, well, makes a lot of sense. Totally. Um, to your point about the being your
32:12own person as well, in addition to a mom, um, I feel like growing up, I remember my mom, like,
32:17it always stuck with me. I'm like, Oh, you do, you took an upholstery class. You went and got a
32:20bikini wax for some reason. I knew about that. Your mom. Yeah. And I was like, good job, mom.
32:24That some reason stuck with me that like hobbies are good. Like, you know, just doing something for
32:29yourself. I think it's so cool. And I like had a little bit of a crisis about like career and
32:34parenting at the very beginning where I was like, I'd been with her for six months straight. I'd been
32:39like with her for six months straight. And I like getting into the woo woo of it all. I went to
32:44astrologer and I was like, you know, it was like a kind of a therapizing moment. And I was like, I'm
32:51like, what do I do? Like, I don't want to miss out on working and like expanding in this part of who I
32:59am. And also I'm like obsessed with my child and I really want to be an available mom. And I really
33:03want to be present for her and feel like I'm there. Like I'm really there. And she basically
33:10was like, you're a Gemini. This is Gemini energy and it's really important. And I think it applies
33:15to anyone. I don't know if it's really Gemini or not Gemini, but. But you probably really deeply
33:19weigh both sides of the two needs. She was like, you need both. Like you, those, both of those parts
33:24are so important and they're so part of who you are. And like, you actually need this to be good at
33:30this and you need this to be good at that. And at this moment in your life. And it was really
33:36a liberating realization that like their holistic realized version of myself is the one that can
33:43hold both of these things. She was like, you know, just be there when you're there. Like be really
33:48there. Like, don't be over here. Don't be over here. Be like here, you know, and same goes for that.
33:54And you know what? It's like everything else. It's like, I just have to remember that I'm,
33:58this is the beginning and that it's a steep learning curve. And that like, in the same way
34:02that I had to learn to like swaddle and burp a baby, I'm now having to learn how to manage these
34:08two things and that it will get more and more comfortable and more and more familiar the longer
34:12that I have to do it. That's a good point. What do you hope your child, Ellis, sees when,
34:17when she looks at you, like not just as a parent, but as like a woman working and pursuing your passion?
34:21I hope she sees someone who is kind and who tends to her relationships and that gives attention to
34:35the connections that I have with people in my life. I hope she sees someone who's hardworking,
34:41but someone who's like also incredibly playful and enjoys fun and the beauty in life.
34:50I hope she sees someone who's constantly trying to be a better version of themselves and like sees
34:56life as an opportunity to just get better at being, being me and gets better at being a person in the
35:03world. Yeah. Is there a moment with, with her recently that maybe it was an ordinary moment,
35:07but that kind of like touched your heart or melted, melted you a little bit? A day ago,
35:11she was sitting on me and then she just laid deliberately, like it felt like a real choice
35:20to like lay herself on me and wrap her arms around me. And it was like something I'm sure
35:25happens all the time when you're a parent, but there was something about like me feeling
35:29the choice in her that it wasn't like a primal thing of just like holding a baby that, but she was
35:34like, I want to hold my mom. And it felt like a kid doing it or something like that. It was like
35:40a fully realized moment that she had. And that was really cool. Like I am choosing you and this is
35:46like, I really want to hold you right now. It was really cool. That's amazing. Yeah. I hope you write
35:51it down. Yeah. I'm pretty good about like writing these little, cause it's so, I mean, even just
35:57thinking back, it's easy for it to become blurry. I think totally. I'm like, I also wrote all these
36:02letters to her when I was pregnant and, um, it's really funny to read them back. All the things
36:08that I forgot I was like going through. I'm like, wow, that was an experienced pregnancy. Oh, sure.
36:15My last question for you. Okay. When you think about legacy, what feels most important to you to
36:20leave behind, um, you know, both in your work and, and your family? I think that honestly being kind
36:26and like bringing people joy and levity and connection and feeling like that I like witnessed
36:34my friends and I witnessed my husband and I was like there for people that I love and people that
36:39I work with and people that I like met on the street that there was like a, like a little bit
36:44of like positive. Yeah. I just want to have positive impact on people. And I don't really think about
36:49legacy work-wise. I like, I just, I don't know how to even like, like, that's crazy. It's crazy to think
36:55about like leaving a legacy behind you with work. I guess I just like hope that, you know,
37:00when I hear stories like your friend who's postpartum and that they want to like tune into
37:04the show as like a way to kind of like lighten up their moment or like there was a show that I was
37:10on and I remember my aunt sent me, um, a texting that her friend had texted while she was in the
37:15hospital. And then like, I watched the show and it just like brightened my day. Like those little
37:21things like just to bring some sort of an escape or some sort of lightness to people's lives, I think
37:29is, makes me feel really good. That's beautiful. Well, thank you so much for sitting down with me.
37:34This was a treat, uh, to talk to a fellow mother and an actress I admire. Thank you so much. Thanks
37:39for having me. This is awesome.
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