Mike Judges Beavis and Butt Head S03E22 Get Well Soon

Horizon.Cast

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00:00Oh my god feel better Cody. I want to sign it next. Sup. I'll carry your books Cody.

00:23But Ed, what's going on? Why are all those chicks being nice to Cody when he sucks?

00:30Uh, I think it's because he has a cast.

00:34Oh, yeah. Yeah, they feel sorry for him and stuff.

00:38And when chicks feel sorry for you, you're halfway to scoring.

00:42Yeah, yeah, they sign your cast, and then they like, do other stuff. You know what I'm saying?

00:49Wait a minute. Beavis, you gotta break my arm so I can get a cast on it.

00:55Yeah, and then you can break my arm too, and then we'll both score.

01:00No, that would be too much. If everyone has a cast, then no one has a cast. Or something.

01:07Now mess my arm up real good. Okay, okay. Let me go ahead and just break this bad boy. Yeah.

01:19Break it already, dumbass. Lift with your legs or something.

01:23Damn it, Beavis. I said break it. Don't hurt it.

01:27I guess we're gonna have to think of some other way.

01:31Well, no one ever got any thinking done here at school.

01:35You know, they should have a place where you can, like, learn how to do stuff.

01:39Like, if there was something you didn't know, there would be people who would, like, teach it to you, you know?

01:44That would make too much sense, Beavis.

01:47Yeah, really.

01:49Hi, welcome to Y2K's Big Fun Fun Show. I'm your host, Y2K. I'd like to introduce you to today's very fun, very special guest, Baby No Money.

02:02Baby No Money?

02:05Most rappers, like, brag about how much money they have, but not Baby No Money.

02:12She's poor.

02:18Got the lowest self-esteem in hip-hop.

02:22She got his food at the Goodwill.

02:28He's one of those guys who sings all, like, drowsy.

02:31Like he's taking sleeping pills.

02:34Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone sings like that.

02:37Yeah, sometimes I talk like that when I take a bunch of codeine cough syrup, you know?

02:47That's because I got some nachos.

02:53Maybe these guys, like, take cough syrup all the time, and they're like, um, like, um, I don't know.

02:58What's that word when you, um, you take something all the time, and you can't stop?

03:03It's like, um, addict, addict, addict.

03:07I think the word you're looking for is cool.

03:10Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah.

03:14Yeah, my uncle is cool to, uh, crystal meth.

03:20Boy, cool can mean a lot of things, can't it?

03:23The word cool is cool.

03:30Oh, no.

03:32What, what, what?

03:33When I say puppets, I know what comes next.

03:36They're gonna try to teach me how to read.

03:38Oh, God, yeah.

03:41All puppets ever talk about is letters.

03:46Yeah, it's like a, it's like after A, B, C, D, the rest is just a blur, you know?

03:51You said D.

04:00You know, I used to watch that Muppet show sometimes, but like, except for that one really hot pig, there's nothing good on it.

04:08Uh, oh, yeah, she's what they call a pilf.

04:12Yeah, there you go with letters again, budded.

04:16Come on.

04:18Okay, Beaveth.

04:20I'm gonna lie down, and you're gonna ride down the hill and run over my arm.

04:25Okay.

04:29Ready?

04:31Ready?

04:32Go.

04:33Fire!

04:39Uh, what happened?

04:54I don't know, I had my eyes closed.

04:55Uh, so did I.

04:58But it felt like I hit your arm pretty hard.

05:00I mean, I went flying, and my head hurts.

05:03Uh, wow.

05:06That didn't hurt at all.

05:07I didn't even feel it.

05:09Well, it must be because I hit it so hard.

05:11Is it broken?

05:12Probably.

05:14Uh.

05:15Damn it.

05:16I don't even have a scratch.

05:19Whoa.

05:20Really?

05:21That's crazy.

05:23Definitely sounded like I hit the sweet spot, you know?

05:26The problem is, my arms are too strong.

05:30Yeah, yeah, that's how they get you.

05:33You're gonna have to do it again.

05:36I'll try, but like, my arm really hurts, and it's like, bent funny, and I can't move it so good.

05:43I don't care about your problems, Beavis.

05:46I care about broken arms.

05:48Yeah, yeah, that's true.

05:49Yeah, yeah, sorry.

05:51Now get back up there so I can score.

05:55Yeah, yeah, okay.

05:58Ow.

06:02Hurry up!

06:11Let's see.

06:12There's gotta be something in here that can break my arm.

06:19Whoa.

06:23You boys don't touch the scissor lift, alright?

06:26Employees only.

06:28Whoa.

06:29If we're not allowed to touch it, it must be really dangerous.

06:34I can stick my hand in the machinery.

06:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.

06:38Good idea.

06:40Now get up there and start pressing buttons.

06:44Okay, you've got it.

06:46Ow.

06:48Let's see here.

06:50A lot of buttons.

06:52Where to begin?

06:53That's the wrong way, dumbass.

06:58You need to, like, lower it.

07:01I can't make it stop.

07:03I'm trying.

07:05It keeps going up.

07:07What are you doing up there, butthole?

07:10Quit choking your chicken and get down here and break my arm.

07:14Okay, okay.

07:16Let me try this button here.

07:18Let's just...

07:20Whoa!

07:22Uh-oh.

07:23Damn it.

07:24Get back here.

07:26Oh, no.

07:27Butt-Hit!

07:28Butt-Hit, what do I do?

07:30I can't make it stop.

07:32Damn it.

07:34Hey, hey, hey!

07:36Where am I going?

07:37What's going on, Butt-Hit?

07:39Oh, no, no, no.

07:41Somebody help!

07:43Hey, watch where you're going!

07:51Sorry down there.

07:52I can't control...

07:54Hey, hey, look out!

07:56No!

07:58Hey, what's going on?

08:00And you know how to work this thing?

08:01Ah!

08:02No!

08:03No!

08:04Here, I'm going the wrong way!

08:05Come on!

08:06They're not a drive!

08:07Ah!

08:09Hey, hey, hey!

08:10Hey, hey, look out!

08:12Ah!

08:13No, no, no!

08:14Ah!

08:17Whoa.

08:18Oh, I made it.

08:20Ah, glad that's over.

08:22Ah!

08:24Ah!

08:26Ah!

08:27Ah!

08:28Ah!

08:29Ah!

08:30Ah!

08:31Oh!

08:32Oh!

08:33Oh!

08:35Oh!

08:36Ah!

08:38Ah!

08:39But Ed, you finally came!

08:41Yeah.

08:42I thought you might have got some Jell-O or something.

08:46No.

08:47No, they say I can't chew Jell-O yet, but, um...

08:49Check out my cast!

08:50The chicks can sign all over me.

08:53It's full body, you know.

08:56Ah!

08:57Now, by the time they let you out of here, school will be over for the summer.

09:00All the chicks will be gone already.

09:03Ah!

09:04Oh, yeah, yeah.

09:05Yeah, but someone's probably signed my cast, right?

09:08Ah!

09:09Eh...

09:11Let's see.

09:13Nope.

09:15Eh...

09:16Well, that sucks.

09:19Well, visiting hours are over.

09:22Let me know if you get some Jell-O.

09:24Ugh.

09:39Chirp.

09:56Chirp.

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