- 14 hours ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00We're out in front of the courthouse where Samantha Carter, local defense attorney, has
00:00:13gotten yet another man off on a not guilty verdict.
00:00:17Dennis Goodman was convicted of murder, drug, and here they come now.
00:00:21Mr. Goodman, Ms. Carter, William Shabbat with Red Star 7 News, how does it feel to be a
00:00:26free man?
00:00:27How does it feel?
00:00:28It feels great.
00:00:29What my client means to say is that justice has been served.
00:00:33And Ms. Carter, this is another win for you.
00:00:35Yeah, and we couldn't be happier.
00:00:37And do you feel guilty knowing another violent man will be walking our city streets?
00:00:42Mr. Goodman was found innocent in the eyes of God as well as Uncle Sam.
00:00:47Ms. Carter, this was a murder trial.
00:00:49He is on tour for drugs, prostitution.
00:00:51William Shabbat here for Red Star 7 News.
00:00:57I'm Shabbat here for Red Star 7 News.
00:01:03I'm Shabbat here for Red Star 7 News.
00:01:05There was a judge.
00:01:06That was ainker to get.
00:01:11I'm Shabbat here for Red Star Everybody.
00:01:15Mr. Ben is proud.
00:01:17I am Shabbat here for Red Star 7 News.
00:03:03We got a party right here.
00:03:04We're going to throw it in your honor.
00:03:06I can see you.
00:03:06We're going to throw it in your honor, man.
00:03:16Uh, can I help you guys?
00:03:20Mr. Goodman.
00:03:22What is it?
00:03:22Sir, there's two men here to see you.
00:03:25They say they're FBI agents.
00:03:27FBI?
00:03:28It's all in two minutes, Carl.
00:03:30Then send them down and I'll fuck this up.
00:03:34Uh, he's a little busy right now.
00:03:36What the hell are the feds doing here?
00:03:54This trial is over.
00:03:56Mr. Goodman, I'm Special Agent Hester.
00:03:59This here is Special Agent Jones and we'd just like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.
00:04:02Ask me about what?
00:04:04I'm innocent.
00:04:05Mr. Goodman, this has nothing to do with your previous trial.
00:04:08I'm sure if we can speak about this in private, it's a matter that we can easily handle.
00:04:13Private?
00:04:13Nah.
00:04:15You got something to say to me, you can say it in front of these guys right here.
00:04:18Told you so.
00:04:19You know, looking at these guys, they're way too pretty to be FBI agents.
00:04:26Take care of these mendejos.
00:04:28Got it, jefe.
00:04:29Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, excuse me.
00:04:31Hey, sir.
00:04:32Who the fuck are you, Holmes?
00:04:34I'll be glad to show my ID, okay?
00:04:36Slowly, pull out my badge.
00:04:38Die, motherfucker!
00:04:54Damn, damn, damn!
00:04:56Good plan, buddy.
00:04:57Yeah, suck it!
00:04:59Would you kill him?
00:05:06Rafe, Goodman's out.
00:05:08Yeah, son of a bitch.
00:05:13You shot me, you asshole!
00:05:16Let's go!
00:05:42Fucking thumb in my arm!
00:05:44Jesus!
00:05:45How you doing in there, Hoss?
00:05:47Where the hell were you?
00:05:48I was right here.
00:05:49Admiring your work.
00:05:50Yeah.
00:05:51Did you enjoy it?
00:05:52You did a hell of a job.
00:05:53Thanks.
00:05:54Do you think you might have been able to lend a hand?
00:05:56Why?
00:05:57You can handle it.
00:05:58You're a big guy.
00:05:59Look at this.
00:06:00You did beautifully.
00:06:01Hello?
00:06:03Hi, sweetheart.
00:06:05No, no, no, no.
00:06:07No, I fixed that.
00:06:08Ooh.
00:06:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:10Just flip the switch.
00:06:12Just flip the switch.
00:06:13Up and down.
00:06:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:16We'll be home in just a little bit.
00:06:18Nah.
00:06:19Just have a little bit to clean up.
00:06:21That's all.
00:06:23All right.
00:06:24I love you, too.
00:06:25Bye.
00:06:26Bye, Tammy.
00:06:27Check it out, man.
00:06:29Upgrade!
00:06:30Sweet.
00:06:31You gotta get home.
00:06:32The garage door I need to fix.
00:06:33Oh, Christ.
00:06:34It's an emergency.
00:06:35Kiss my ass, Max.
00:06:36It's not too late.
00:06:37It's not too late.
00:06:38It's not too late to change.
00:06:39I know it seems impossible when everything's this way.
00:06:41You don't know what you got until it's gone.
00:06:43You don't know what you want me to know.
00:06:45It should.
00:06:46Yeah.
00:06:47Damn, you making breakfast?
00:06:48You really want to eat or cooking?
00:06:50Jimmy?
00:07:02Jimmy?
00:07:03Jimmy?
00:07:07Jimmy?
00:07:09Jimmy?
00:07:12Jimmy, pause your game for mommy.
00:07:14How many eggs do you want?
00:07:16Jimmy, pause your game for mommy.
00:07:18How many eggs do you want?
00:07:20I want cereal.
00:07:23What's up, Cecil family?
00:07:26Hi, I'm a mess.
00:07:27Hey, how's it hanging, killer?
00:07:29Morning, Puckin. How you doing today?
00:07:38You're gonna get schooled.
00:07:41What's her problem?
00:07:43PMS? Puberty?
00:07:45Boyfriend trouble. How should I know?
00:07:48Boyfriend?
00:07:49Think she's a little young to have a boyfriend?
00:07:51She's 15, Rafe.
00:07:53You remember what you were doing when you were 15?
00:07:56Ooh, easy. Tammy, nothing for the It's King.
00:07:59Uh, Jimmy, your breakfast is ready.
00:08:00Better be cereal.
00:08:02Rafe.
00:08:02Yes?
00:08:03Tell your son to eat some eggs.
00:08:05Jimbo, get in here and eat your eggs, okay?
00:08:07It's not cereal. I'm not eating it.
00:08:09What can I say? The kid knows what he wants.
00:08:12Kind of like his old man.
00:08:14Go take a shower.
00:08:16You smell like gun smoke.
00:08:19Yes, boss.
00:08:21One shower,
00:08:22coming right up.
00:08:26Okay.
00:08:28All right, cover me.
00:08:29I got him.
00:08:30Okay, okay, I'll get that fucking son of a bitch.
00:08:31Max!
00:08:32You can't say fuck in front of mom.
00:08:35Oh, shit.
00:08:37Shit.
00:08:38I hate being shot.
00:08:41What, did you blow up in here?
00:08:43Uh, I guess, yeah, hurry, you know.
00:08:47Just stop by before we go to Sam's get paid.
00:08:49Yeah.
00:08:50How was work?
00:08:51You know, it was good.
00:08:53A little collateral damage, no big deal.
00:08:55Yeah?
00:08:55Yeah.
00:08:56Who were they this time?
00:08:57The usual.
00:09:00You know, Ray, this is the third Sunday this month you've had to work.
00:09:05I know.
00:09:06What can I say, sweetheart?
00:09:07Business is booming.
00:09:08Yeah?
00:09:09Yeah.
00:09:10Hey, hey, uh, how long has Katie had a boyfriend?
00:09:14What the hell is this?
00:09:15It's a white shirt.
00:09:17I know it's a white shirt.
00:09:18What the hell is this?
00:09:21That's blood.
00:09:22Ray, I buy these shirts for us so that we can go out to dinner.
00:09:25Or maybe we can go to church on Sunday instead of, you know, whatever it is you've been doing.
00:09:29Or go on a vacation.
00:09:30I'll take you somewhere.
00:09:30I'll take you somewhere tonight, right now.
00:09:32Tonight I'm going to be burning your bloody shirt.
00:09:35But you don't have to burn that one.
00:09:36Oh, yeah, why not?
00:09:38It's my shirt.
00:09:39It's my blood.
00:09:40It's no problem.
00:09:41What do you mean this shirt?
00:09:42And not to mention, I looked at the garage door on the way in.
00:09:45Ray, what happened?
00:09:46What happened?
00:09:47Oh, baby, did you get shot?
00:09:49It's no big deal.
00:09:50Baby.
00:09:51Unless, of course, you're going to kiss it and make it feel better.
00:09:53Yeah, you're funny.
00:09:54By that way, I got kicked in the groin.
00:09:56Yeah, you're tough, all right.
00:09:57Hey, careful.
00:09:58Your sons have worse skinned knees than that.
00:09:59That's a bullet wound.
00:10:00You made me worry for nothing.
00:10:02I think I know what I've got to worry about now.
00:10:04What?
00:10:04I'm worried that I may have married a pussy.
00:10:07Really?
00:10:08Yeah, really.
00:10:09You know I like it when you talk dirty.
00:10:10Yeah, well, you're not sweet-talking your way out of this.
00:10:13I'm not?
00:10:13No.
00:10:14You sure?
00:10:15I'm sure.
00:10:15You positive?
00:10:16You owe me for the shirt.
00:10:18I'll be more than happy to pay up whenever you want to collect.
00:10:23You should have stayed down.
00:10:27Watch it, he's right there.
00:10:29Oh, nice shot.
00:10:33Take after your old man.
00:10:35What?
00:10:35Nothing.
00:10:36You ready to go, Motormouth?
00:10:38Let's go.
00:10:40See you next time, killer.
00:10:41That's fine.
00:10:41You suck anyway.
00:10:42Whatever, you suck.
00:10:43You suck, big old dog.
00:10:45Max!
00:10:46Go on.
00:10:49Rafe.
00:10:49Yeah.
00:10:50What?
00:11:02Brooke, go ahead.
00:11:03Be out in a minute.
00:11:07Tammy's shit.
00:11:08I'm sorry.
00:11:08I can't believe you forgot again.
00:11:10I've been busy.
00:11:11You're completely unbelievable.
00:11:13I'll make it right.
00:11:13I promise.
00:11:14Listen.
00:11:14I need your head to be here when you're here.
00:11:17My head is here.
00:11:18It's always here.
00:11:19Listen.
00:11:20The party's at seven.
00:11:21Be there.
00:11:22I will be.
00:11:23Okay?
00:11:23I'll make this all right.
00:11:25I promise.
00:11:25Just go get it done.
00:11:27Just go.
00:11:28Go.
00:11:32Hey, buddy.
00:11:34I wanted to wish you happy birthday.
00:11:36Who'd you get me?
00:11:37Something really, really cool.
00:11:39But you're going to have to wait until tonight, okay?
00:11:41Okay.
00:11:42All right.
00:11:43Behave.
00:11:43Enlist your mom.
00:11:44Okay.
00:11:51God damn it.
00:11:52So is it easy to forget your kid's birthday?
00:11:58I mean, I know I don't know because I don't have kids and everything, but I did remember
00:12:04your kid's birthday, and it seems like maybe it would be easier to remember your own kid's
00:12:08birthday than someone else's kid's birthday, but go fuck your mother, Max.
00:12:14I love you, Rafe.
00:12:22Yes, ma'am.
00:12:27Now that would be perfect.
00:12:29Absolutely.
00:12:31No, I totally...
00:12:32Hey, honey.
00:12:32Where's the blow?
00:12:33I got some hookers coming over.
00:12:34We're going to need some blow, and are you still naked?
00:12:37Excuse me, ma'am.
00:12:37Could you hold for just a moment, please?
00:12:41Are you fucking kidding me?
00:12:43What the hell are you doing?
00:12:45I'm on the goddamn phone doing important shit, so shut it.
00:12:49Whoa.
00:12:50Oh, wait, shh.
00:12:52Uh-uh.
00:12:52Shh.
00:12:54Yes, I do.
00:12:56Do it.
00:12:58Ma'am?
00:13:00Yes, I'm sorry.
00:13:02All right, sounds great.
00:13:03Yes, 9 a.m.
00:13:05All right.
00:13:06Toodles.
00:13:12So, how'd it go?
00:13:15Things weren't very well.
00:13:16You got shot.
00:13:17Well, yeah.
00:13:19There is that.
00:13:19How do you know?
00:13:20I'm an attorney, ladies.
00:13:22It's my job to know.
00:13:23And I cannot believe that you forgot your own kid's birthday.
00:13:28I expected so much better from you.
00:13:30What are you, my mother?
00:13:31Give me a break.
00:13:32No, thank God I'm not.
00:13:34I just pay the bills.
00:13:36Mm-hmm.
00:13:36I suggest you buy something nice for Jimmy with that.
00:13:40Way ahead of you, Sam.
00:13:41In fact, we need to get the hell out of here.
00:13:43Hang on, hang on.
00:13:43What?
00:13:44Hold on a second.
00:13:45Hey, this is only half.
00:13:47Yeah.
00:13:47This is a $30,000 job.
00:13:49Hmm.
00:13:50Look, boys.
00:13:52I'm sorry, but the job's only half done.
00:13:54What, did you get another low life off that we didn't know about?
00:13:56No.
00:13:57This guy's not a client.
00:13:58You know, that's not the way it works, okay?
00:13:59You get him off the hook, we take him out, and we all sleep a little better.
00:14:04Goodman wasn't alone in his drug trafficking.
00:14:07He had a partner.
00:14:09Greg Chambers, the supplier.
00:14:10And now it's two jobs?
00:14:12Look, I didn't know.
00:14:13Not until yesterday, when Goodman finally cracked.
00:14:16I had to give him the whole help me, help you, client, lawyer, confidentiality bullshit.
00:14:22And then he finally spilled his guts.
00:14:25We love you, hon.
00:14:25Seriously, Sam.
00:14:26But we need to talk about this on Monday.
00:14:28We are on a very, very tight schedule, okay?
00:14:31Get the fuck back here.
00:14:35Now.
00:14:41Greg was supplying Goodman with some kind of new chemical.
00:14:45Something he was using to cut his drugs.
00:14:47It's a great high, no crash, but bad.
00:14:51Really bad.
00:14:52I can't live with myself one more day if I let himself.
00:14:55What does this Chambers guy do?
00:14:57I have no idea.
00:14:58This guy's like a ghost.
00:15:00All I have is the address that Goodman gave me.
00:15:05You guys pulled us off.
00:15:07Clean.
00:15:09There's another 10 in it for you.
00:15:11Just consider it a pain in the ass, B.
00:15:13And with as much talent as both of you boys possess, it should go quick and easy.
00:15:29All right.
00:15:30Or I just hope you're as good a divorce attorney as you are a criminal one.
00:15:34That's funny.
00:15:36Your wife asked me the same question.
00:15:37What?
00:15:39Sam.
00:15:40What?
00:15:41Seriously.
00:15:42Bye, boys.
00:15:43What did Tammy say?
00:15:44What did she ask you about a divorce?
00:15:45She's fucking with you, man.
00:15:46This shit ain't funny, Max.
00:15:48Sam.
00:15:48She's joking.
00:15:49She's not joking.
00:15:50She's just fucking with you.
00:15:51Come on.
00:15:52Max, my ass is already in hot water.
00:15:54You understand?
00:15:55Man, this shit's going to lead me to getting divorced.
00:15:56You understand?
00:15:58She's not.
00:15:59Man, if she's joking, that shit's not funny, Max.
00:16:03She's just giving you a hard time, man.
00:16:05You know, you're probably right.
00:16:06Tammy didn't ask that.
00:16:07I don't know why I'm worried.
00:16:08Get your game face on, man.
00:16:09You want to go to the toy store or kill the drug dealer?
00:16:11Priorities.
00:16:12Right on.
00:16:13Toy store.
00:16:15Family first, Maxie.
00:16:16Family first.
00:16:19Hello?
00:16:20Hey, where are you?
00:16:21We're just leaving Sam's now.
00:16:22I know I'm being naive in asking you this, but do you remember to get the clown?
00:16:27I figured.
00:16:29I suggest you get on that.
00:16:30He hasn't shut up about it for a week.
00:16:32Tammy, a clown?
00:16:34Seriously?
00:16:35I mean, you've heard of John Wayne Gacy, right?
00:16:37I mean, why take the chance?
00:16:39Raphael, you are in no position to say no.
00:16:43All right.
00:16:45I'll see you at 7 o'clock with the clown.
00:16:47Okay, sweetheart?
00:16:48Okay.
00:16:50Hey.
00:16:51I love you.
00:16:52I love you, too.
00:16:54Okay.
00:16:55All right.
00:16:59Should have listened to my mother.
00:17:04Look, I get it, man.
00:17:05I get it, but you're the last guys in the phone book.
00:17:07You're telling me you can't get anybody out here tonight.
00:17:10Nobody.
00:17:12No, I understand.
00:17:14No, I understand that you're a clown peddler.
00:17:16It doesn't even have any fucking clowns to peddle.
00:17:18So, good luck with the rest of your useless fucking existence, you smartass.
00:17:23Any luck?
00:17:24No.
00:17:26Got one off the list.
00:17:28Who's the man?
00:17:28Let me see it, dude.
00:17:29What'd you get him?
00:17:30Who's the man?
00:17:30Let me see it.
00:17:33Bam!
00:17:34What do you think?
00:17:35Check that out.
00:17:36Oh.
00:17:38Dude, it's a jacket.
00:17:41It's real leather.
00:17:42It's clothes.
00:17:43You don't buy a kid clothes for his birthday?
00:17:46When was one time when you were a kid that you opened up a present and were like,
00:17:49Fuck yeah, a jacket.
00:17:50No.
00:17:51Buy him something cool, something fun.
00:17:53Wait till he fails a test or something.
00:17:55Then you, then you get him clothes.
00:17:57Okay.
00:17:59Okay, mister.
00:18:00I don't have any kids, but apparently I know everything about what a kid wants.
00:18:04What would you suggest?
00:18:11Dude.
00:18:14Have you ever felt like your life isn't what it's supposed to be?
00:18:18Like the world would be a better place without you in it?
00:18:23What if there was a piece of technology that could wash away the loser of yesterday
00:18:28and replace him with a hot, young, vibrant, sexual tyrannosaur that made even the hottest
00:18:35of hotties drip with orgasmic anticipation?
00:18:40Welcome to the world of Y-Box.
00:18:43The next generation.
00:18:44With 1024-bit graphics,
00:18:481.21 gigawatts of power,
00:18:52and our patented Y-Zone multiplayer network,
00:18:55complete with brothels and a virtual partner simulator.
00:19:00You'll lose yourself in the bukkake of guns, girls, and live streaming movies.
00:19:05The Y-Box 720 will instantaneously make you a happier, more successful person.
00:19:13More than that, it will drive your friends mad with jealousy.
00:19:17And after all, isn't that what gaming is all about?
00:19:23The Y-Box 720.
00:19:25You have no choice.
00:19:27Buy it now.
00:19:29Why?
00:19:30Because.
00:19:31Hey, uh, excuse me.
00:19:34Uh, I need one of those Y-Box thingies.
00:19:37Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
00:19:38They don't come out until tomorrow.
00:19:41Well, why don't I just get that one?
00:19:43Hmm, that's a demo.
00:19:45It's not for sale.
00:19:46Well, well, kid,
00:19:48you're going to have to really help me out, okay?
00:19:50My son wants one of these,
00:19:51and it's his birthday.
00:19:53And if I don't bring one of these home,
00:19:54my wife's going to have my balls in the jar.
00:19:56So, just let me know how much this is,
00:19:58and I'll just take that one.
00:20:01Well, I guess we're going to have to wait until tomorrow
00:20:03to find out how much it is.
00:20:06Okay.
00:20:07Look, kid.
00:20:10There's a thousand bucks there, okay?
00:20:12I'm not sure how much that costs,
00:20:14but I'm sure it covers that.
00:20:15Probably give you a little extra
00:20:16to take your little girlfriend out on a date, okay?
00:20:18Why don't you help me out?
00:20:19I'm having a rough day, kid.
00:20:24Sir.
00:20:25Yes.
00:20:25Can you read my name tag?
00:20:27Huh?
00:20:28Can you read my name tag?
00:20:31Yeah.
00:20:32Sure.
00:20:33What does it say?
00:20:35Eugene McDonough.
00:20:38Assistant manager.
00:20:39That's right.
00:20:40Assistant manager.
00:20:42Yeah.
00:20:43Uh-oh.
00:20:44Uh-oh.
00:20:45Yeah.
00:20:46And I didn't get this far in life
00:20:48from taking bribes from punks like you.
00:20:51So I suggest you get your punk ass
00:20:53out of my store
00:20:54before I grab that Steven Seagal-looking ponytail
00:20:56and drag you out myself.
00:20:58No.
00:20:59If you want a Y-box,
00:21:00you're going to have to wait until tomorrow.
00:21:02Just like everybody else.
00:21:06Sure.
00:21:08Of course.
00:21:10After all,
00:21:12Eugene, you're...
00:21:13you're the assistant manager.
00:21:15Thank you, Eugene.
00:21:16That's right.
00:21:18Take care of me, Eugene.
00:21:20Stop.
00:21:21Take your money.
00:21:22Take your envelope.
00:21:23And walk away.
00:21:28I'll get you in that gum.
00:21:30Spit it out.
00:21:31Jake, my man.
00:21:33How you doing?
00:21:35Yeah.
00:21:35Hey, what are you doing tonight, man?
00:21:37Yeah?
00:21:38How'd you like to dress up
00:21:40like a clown
00:21:40and entertain some kids?
00:21:43Jake?
00:21:44Hello?
00:21:46Son of a bitch.
00:21:47You know,
00:21:47and you know what sad is?
00:21:48It's wrong for me to kill him.
00:21:49Oh, wow.
00:21:50Hey, hey!
00:21:51What the...
00:21:52Wow, man.
00:21:53Dude, this is a nice car.
00:21:54Get off the car!
00:21:55I used to have one back in 84.
00:21:57Except it was red.
00:21:58Don't water on him
00:21:59or something,
00:21:59for Christ's sake.
00:22:01Wow, is this a car?
00:22:01Hang on, hang on, Rafe.
00:22:02Move!
00:22:03Hey, that'd be $17.50.
00:22:06Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:22:07Okay, I'll tell you what.
00:22:08$5, we'll call it even.
00:22:10It's all good.
00:22:11How'd you like to make 50 bucks
00:22:12and get some new clothes?
00:22:21So what's it like being homeless?
00:22:29All right, let's do this.
00:22:30You really think we should be doing this
00:22:31with slap nuts in the back seat?
00:22:34I got him.
00:22:35Okay, homeless guy.
00:22:37Hey, what's up?
00:22:42Do you know where we are?
00:22:46No.
00:22:47Do you know who we are?
00:22:49I don't know.
00:22:51Do you know who you are?
00:22:53Some, sometimes.
00:22:55Well, great.
00:22:55Okay, now we're gonna go in this building, okay?
00:22:58Now you...
00:22:59are gonna wait right here.
00:23:04I don't drink.
00:23:06I'm fucking with you.
00:23:08I fucking love this guy.
00:23:10Of course you do.
00:23:11All right, so wait here, okay?
00:23:14I don't know.
00:23:15I don't know who you are.
00:23:30Hello?
00:23:31Hello?
00:23:31Hey, honey.
00:23:32Yeah, no problem. Need a cake. Got it. I love you, too. Bye. Need a cake.
00:23:43Fuck yeah, I love cake.
00:24:02So where is everyone? How the fuck should I know? I don't work here. Probably at home barbecuing, getting ready for their kid's birthday like I should be.
00:24:32There's no button. Let's get the fuck out of here. I got shit to do, okay? I'm on the clock.
00:24:43Problem solved.
00:24:45Problem solved? You don't find that at least a little bit weird, Max?
00:24:48Come on, pussy. We're gonna go fight bad guys.
00:24:51God damn it. Could something go right today? Dude, need to be more zen.
00:25:06Great. So much for zen. There goes our ninja-like entrance, Max.
00:25:12Max?
00:25:22You're too much.
00:25:24All zen. That's the zen.
00:25:29Marked.
00:25:42Marked.
00:26:01So what kind of cake are we gonna get?
00:26:03Tammy didn't say.
00:26:04We should get chocolate. Everybody loves chocolate.
00:26:06Ready?
00:26:07Let's go.
00:26:18Whoa!
00:26:19Whoa!
00:26:20Whoa!
00:26:21Whoa!
00:26:22Whoa!
00:26:23Stop shooting.
00:26:24Please stop shooting. I'm sorry.
00:26:25I'm sorry.
00:26:27Are you Greg Chambers?
00:26:29No.
00:26:30I'm Kyle.
00:26:31Well then, Kyle!
00:26:32Why the fuck were you shooting at us, dickhead?
00:26:34Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were human.
00:26:39Human?
00:26:40No, we're wild fucking unicorns, you trigger-happy asshole.
00:26:43Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:26:45What do you mean by human?
00:26:46I just came down to Hup Dogger...
00:27:01Well, that's peculiar.
00:27:03What the fuck?
00:27:08Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:09Alright, miss.
00:27:11Now, miss, calm down.
00:27:12I will shoot you.
00:27:13I'm telling you.
00:27:18What the fuck was that?
00:27:20Easy job, my ass.
00:27:21Run!
00:27:22Run!
00:27:23Run!
00:27:24Run!
00:27:25Run!
00:27:26Run!
00:27:27Move!
00:27:28Move!
00:27:29They're on our ass!
00:27:30Run, old man!
00:27:31What the hell is that, Max?
00:27:32Get the door shut!
00:27:33Get the door shut!
00:27:34Goddammit!
00:27:35Kill him!
00:27:36Thank you!
00:27:37I'm perplexed, Rafe.
00:27:38I am fucking perplexed.
00:27:39Max, we were just about fucking eaten.
00:27:40Goddammit!
00:27:41I'm perplexed, Rafe.
00:27:42I am fucking perplexed.
00:27:43Max, we were just about fucking eaten.
00:27:44Goddammit!
00:27:45Get you another shirt on the way home.
00:28:13way home. Why did the elevator just stop? Hey, don't let this go in your fucking head,
00:28:23but good shot back there. You're goddamn right it was.
00:28:43Hey, Rafe. Yeah? Explain to me why that chick had a big green dick popping out of her shoulder.
00:29:04Max, chicks with dicks are always scary. There was this one time, eh, it's a long story I'll
00:29:10tell you later. Yeah, you're gonna have to. Dude, what I'm thinking is dick monsters are
00:29:23worth way more than 5,000 a head. I'm sorry, I got a lot of shit going on. You know, I'm
00:29:28not quite following you. You know, I'm not really like a math guy, but we could be looking
00:29:42at a pretty bitchin' bonus here. Max, I don't give a shit about a bonus. Jimmy's at home
00:29:47right now, no cake, no Y-box, certainly no sweet ass leather jacket. Rafe, the leather jacket
00:29:55sucked. I don't care what you say, I think it rocked. Rafe, it is summertime. Who buys
00:29:59their kid a jacket in the summertime? That leather jacket rocked. Shit. Who are you?
00:30:06What are you doing here? Rafe, this woman with the gun to my head? Yeah. Is she hot? Yeah.
00:30:11Drop your gun! Suck my dick. Drop your- Ow! God, I'm not gonna ask you again! Drop it!
00:30:16Drop it! Would you fucking shoot her? If she was gonna kill me, she would have done it already.
00:30:20Shut up! Now, lady, let's just calm down. I'm Rafe, and that guy you're manhandling,
00:30:26that's my partner Max. Pleasure to meet you. What are you doing here? Well, right now,
00:30:30about to put a bullet in your brain and apparently kill a lot of innocent people. Before that,
00:30:33we will find some fucked up monster people with penises popping on their shoulders.
00:30:38Penis monsters? Mm-hmm. Fuck, woman! Where's your problem? Don't
00:30:43call me, woman! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Take it easy, Stephanie.
00:30:47Now, Stephanie, let's all just calm down. Okay? Look. I'll put my guns down. I suggest you
00:30:55guys put yours down, too. Okay? Let's be friends. Let's go.
00:31:01We're all friends, Max. We're all friends. Let's go.
00:31:11So how's everybody doing? Oh, yeah. We're just peachy, pal. Yourself?
00:31:16Been better. So how you doing? Uh, hi.
00:31:22What the hell's going on here? In short,
00:31:25it's a non-terrestrial parasite. It's infecting its victims
00:31:29with a retractable proboscis, it's multiplying at an exponential rate,
00:31:33and it's controlling its host's motor functions, and eventually,
00:31:35it's consciousness. You wanna run that by me again?
00:31:39I went to public school. Let me break it down for you.
00:31:42These things are some bad motherfuckers. I mean, inside those gross-ass bulges,
00:31:47they got these big-ass fucking stinger things swinging at you, you know?
00:31:50A penis. Yeah, or proboscis. And they're all fucking swinging at you like this,
00:31:55and shit, and you dodging the shit like Neo, because if they stink you, you fucked.
00:31:59Fucked how? First, you lose control of all motor functions,
00:32:04but eventually, the parasite takes over your brain, and then...
00:32:09Game over. So this is, like, bad.
00:32:12You're very perceptive. And you're very fucking friendly.
00:32:14Exactly how did this happen? What?
00:32:19Don't play dumb with me.
00:32:21I have no idea what you're talking about, doctor.
00:32:24You know, I find that hard to believe.
00:32:28He performed an embryonic extraction on a non-terrestrial entity,
00:32:31and you had no idea what it was capable of.
00:32:33I have to hear your sob story one more time!
00:32:35I swear to God, Greg, if you even think about even...
00:32:38Greg? Greg Chambers?
00:32:40Do I know you?
00:32:42Look, if you've got some kind of business with me...
00:32:45The only business we have is we need to get the hell out of here.
00:32:47Anybody got any ideas about that?
00:32:49No. No, we came in through the ventilation panel.
00:32:51It connects the lab to the storage area.
00:32:52What about either one of those elevators we got?
00:32:54Either one.
00:32:55Yeah!
00:32:56The freight elevator!
00:32:57We could take it all the way to the top!
00:32:58No dice.
00:32:59Someone or something will cut the power.
00:33:01Mother...
00:33:02That doesn't matter!
00:33:04The controls are wired into our security system, sure.
00:33:07But that elevator is just your average freight.
00:33:09I can bypass...
00:33:10We are on lockdown, sweetie!
00:33:12There is no way that you can get that...
00:33:14Yes!
00:33:15I can.
00:33:16Unless somebody else has a better idea...
00:33:18She's got my vote.
00:33:20So I say...
00:33:21Let's get the hell out of here.
00:33:23You ready?
00:33:24Let's move out.
00:33:25Fucking A.
00:33:42Wait.
00:33:44Clear.
00:33:45So I have a question.
00:33:54Oh, there's a fucking surprise.
00:33:55Wouldn't you make a lot more friends if you would jump down...
00:33:57Fine. Fine.
00:33:58Alright? It's been a stressful fucking day.
00:34:00What's your question?
00:34:01Are you on the rag or something?
00:34:03Jesus Christ.
00:34:04Come on, Max. Not lost.
00:34:05Seriously, maybe these things can smell it.
00:34:07Are you fucking kidding me?
00:34:08Hey, Monica, don't you love how we're being led around by a five-year-old with a fucking gun?
00:34:12Look, we need to lose these guys as soon as possible.
00:34:17Why?
00:34:18You don't think it's a little strange?
00:34:20Two guys with guns show up right in the middle of a full facility lockdown?
00:34:24I mean, how did they even get in?
00:34:27They are probably part of the clean-up group.
00:34:30Yeah.
00:34:31Is that something you'd like to share with the rest of the class, Grego?
00:34:33Huh?
00:34:34It was his turn.
00:34:35My friend just asked you a question, buddy.
00:34:38She...
00:34:39When I...
00:34:40You know, I've got a real good suggestion.
00:34:42Why don't you start kissing the ass of anybody who happens to have a gun.
00:34:45It's namely me.
00:34:59Mine!
00:35:00Mine!
00:35:01Yeah!
00:35:02I'm gonna hold that now.
00:35:24Does anyone got a plan B?
00:35:25Yeah.
00:35:26Yeah, let's get the fuck outta here.
00:35:27Get the fuck out of here!
00:35:39You ready to go?
00:35:41Alright, come on!
00:35:43Go!
00:35:51Go Ray, go!
00:35:57Tyrone! We are leaving!
00:35:59Let's go!
00:36:11Guys, come on!
00:36:23Monica!
00:36:25We're fighting us!
00:36:26We're fighting us!
00:36:27Get inside!
00:36:28Come on!
00:36:32Guys, come on!
00:36:35I don't need you!
00:36:55There you are, my children! Drink up! You don't need your strength!
00:37:05Look, I'm sorry about your friend!
00:37:06What time is it?
00:37:07What time is it?
00:37:08What time is it?
00:37:09What time is it?
00:37:10What time is it?
00:37:11What time is it?
00:37:12What?
00:37:13What time is it?
00:37:14What time is it?
00:37:15What the hell difference does it matter what time it is?
00:37:16I've got somewhere to be. We've got one hour to get shit done. Do you understand?
00:37:20I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about your friend.
00:37:21What time is it?
00:37:22What time is it?
00:37:23What?
00:37:24What time is it?
00:37:25What the hell difference does it matter what time it is?
00:37:26I've got somewhere to be. We've got one hour to get shit done. Do you understand?
00:37:27I'm sorry. I'm sorry about your friend, alright?
00:37:28Fuck his friend! Shouldn't we ask the obvious question here? Who are you and what are you doing here?
00:37:46Trust me. You don't want to know the answer to that fucking question.
00:37:51So this kind of thing happen often here?
00:37:56No.
00:37:58First time? Great.
00:38:00So Tyrone, this is certainly a very dark room you've let us into.
00:38:05Man, kiss my ass. You got any better ideas?
00:38:08Yeah. It's fucking hot as an oven in here.
00:38:11It's not that much.
00:38:22Fuck!
00:38:23Come on. What's he hiding?
00:38:25I would strongly suggest that you don't continue to fucking pursue this.
00:38:29Listen, asshole. Just give us a straight answer. We deserve that much.
00:38:33I know exactly who the fuck you are. And I know exactly what the fuck you deserve.
00:38:38And if you don't stop yelling at me, I'm damn sure I'll give it to you. You drug dealing piece of shit!
00:38:45Greg, what's he talking about?
00:38:46I haven't figured it all out myself. But your boss here has been supplying a local drug lead over some kind of chemical to help him cut his drugs.
00:38:53No, wait. You were synthesizing drugs?
00:38:57Well? You gonna answer the lady, Grego?
00:39:01Not synthesizing. Not exactly.
00:39:04No, not exactly.
00:39:05I'm stealing NTF.
00:39:06What?
00:39:07Who the fuck is NTF?
00:39:09Oh my god. It's non-terrestrial fluid. It's embryonic fluid. From non-living extraterrestrials.
00:39:14An alien? Seriously.
00:39:16A dead alien, you fucking idiot!
00:39:18I mean, Jesus Christ. We were handing it out like candy to the test subjects.
00:39:22What test subjects, Grego? What the fuck are you talking about?
00:39:24Come on, Steph. Don't be naive.
00:39:27We stumbled across one of the most amazing neurostimulants known to man.
00:39:31And you didn't think we would test it?
00:39:34I'm sorry. I'm totally lost. I don't really follow this.
00:39:37We are a pharmaceutical research development company, okay?
00:39:39We were using the NTF to stimulate activity in the damaged neurons.
00:39:43I still don't follow.
00:39:44Listen, genius. We're talking complete brain redevelopment here.
00:39:49Alzheimer's, strokes, dementia. They are all things of the past.
00:39:53No. No. You had no idea what that would do to human subjects, Grego.
00:39:58What? Did you want to go make a little extra cash for yourself? Was that it?
00:40:02Listen, sweetie. We're a business here.
00:40:04No. Fuck you.
00:40:06How long do you think that door's gonna hold?
00:40:09It's not the door I'm worried about.
00:40:12Well, if anyone has any ideas, now's the time.
00:40:18I might have an idea, too.
00:40:22Well, I want a big fucking machine gun.
00:40:24Ask and you shall receive, bitches.
00:40:27Do you have any idea, Greg? Any idea what you have done here?
00:40:42Yeah. I got a few meth heads a little higher.
00:40:44If Bolan had ever found out about this shit-
00:40:46Bolan? Are you serious?
00:40:48Bolan was the head of the research department.
00:40:50She would never.
00:40:51No, she wouldn't.
00:40:52Not until she got a taste herself.
00:40:54What are you saying?
00:40:55She was the biggest junkie of them all.
00:40:57Convinced the shit plugged her directly into the cosmos or something.
00:41:01Which is why we had to pull the plug.
00:41:03She was up in the dosage almost daily.
00:41:05I can't believe I'm hearing this.
00:41:07This is full of shit.
00:41:08Believe it, sweetie.
00:41:09Your partner was insane.
00:41:11Get the fuck off, asshole.
00:41:13What the fuck is going on out there?
00:41:17If I had to make a guess,
00:41:20I'd say your friend's making his last stand.
00:41:23Alright, that's it.
00:41:25Now I'm gonna kill you.
00:41:39Max!
00:41:40Pull your dicks out of Stephanie, gentlemen.
00:41:41We have work to do.
00:41:42Fuck you!
00:41:43Took you long enough.
00:41:44Missed you too, sugar tits.
00:41:46Thanks, Santa.
00:41:47Stephanie!
00:41:48Thank God.
00:41:49Somebody called the police?
00:41:50Where the hell did you get all those?
00:41:52Does it matter?
00:41:53Can I get them?
00:41:54No!
00:41:55Let's get the hell out of here.
00:41:57I gotta get the princess home in time for the ball.
00:42:09Stephanie!
00:42:10I'm delighted to see you're still alive.
00:42:13Ellen!
00:42:14Ellen, is that you?
00:42:15Listen, you have to get us out of here.
00:42:17Afraid I can't do that.
00:42:19It would jeopardize everything I know.
00:42:21I've worked to build.
00:42:23No.
00:42:24Ellen, listen to me.
00:42:25You're sick.
00:42:26The NTF, it has made you sick.
00:42:28It's making you hallucinated.
00:42:29No, Stephanie.
00:42:30That's where you're wrong.
00:42:31For the first time, I can see everything clearly all at once.
00:42:36You, me, everything.
00:42:38It's all one.
00:42:39We call them parasites, but they're more than that.
00:42:42They're guards, Stephanie.
00:42:43And they've shown me patience.
00:42:44Wow.
00:42:45Just wow, lady.
00:42:46I hate to tell you, but you are three sheets to the wind batshit wacky fucking crazy.
00:42:53I'm growing tired of all this.
00:42:57You know what?
00:42:59Me too, bitch.
00:43:01Can we go now?
00:43:02Who the hell was that?
00:43:03It's Dr. Bolin.
00:43:04She must be in the main control room.
00:43:05So she can hear us?
00:43:06Uh-huh.
00:43:07Yeah, everything.
00:43:08Hey.
00:43:09Hey.
00:43:10Come on.
00:43:11Get it together.
00:43:12Come on.
00:43:13Are you sure you can get powered back to that elevator shaft?
00:43:15Take me to the shaft, and I'll do the rest.
00:43:17You bet you will, sweetheart.
00:43:18I bet you will.
00:43:19Let's go.
00:43:44Where'd all the bodies go?
00:43:46Probably reanimated.
00:43:49New sting, new parasite.
00:43:52How the hell could you possibly know that?
00:43:55Are you alright?
00:43:56Yeah, I'm fine.
00:43:57Have you ever shot a gun before?
00:43:59Monica, degree in biomedical engineering.
00:44:02I think I can figure it out.
00:44:05Hey, yo, dog.
00:44:06Man, won't you slide me with them guns?
00:44:08Man, you got two of them.
00:44:09So you want one of these guns?
00:44:10No.
00:44:10Yeah, man, when'd you become a team, man?
00:44:13Get out of here.
00:44:13You girls want to quiet down back there?
00:44:15My bad, man.
00:44:16See?
00:44:17See?
00:44:21How many are out there?
00:44:23You want me to tell you or you want me to get you a body bag?
00:44:27Alright, people.
00:44:28Let's go kick some ass.
00:44:30Good.
00:44:30Because I've got a score to settle.
00:44:35Ow!
00:44:35Oh, shit!
00:44:37I'm sorry.
00:44:37Did you want yourself on?
00:44:38You're out of your fucking mind?
00:44:40I'm sorry.
00:44:42I'm sorry.
00:44:45You got to put pussyfoot and get your asses over to the elevator.
00:45:04Go.
00:45:04Come on, Hunter.
00:45:05Go to the elevator.
00:45:06Go.
00:45:06Go.
00:45:06Go.
00:45:07Go.
00:45:07Go.
00:45:08Go.
00:45:08Go.
00:45:09Fuck.
00:45:09I'm just kidding.
00:45:11Yeah!
00:45:12I need a silly bag.
00:45:13Give her a fucking knife.
00:45:15Give her a fucking knife.
00:45:15Come on, Hunter.
00:45:16Baby needs a knife.
00:45:18I don't know what to do.
00:45:19What do I fucking do?
00:45:21What do I do?
00:45:21What do I do?
00:45:22What do I do?
00:45:23I don't know what to fucking do.
00:45:24I don't know.
00:45:27Go.
00:45:32Oh, man.
00:45:35I don't know what to do.
00:45:39I don't know what to do.
00:45:42Hurry up, hurry up.
00:45:43I don't know what to do.
00:45:44I don't know what to do.
00:45:45I can't do it.
00:45:45We can't.
00:45:46I can't do it.
00:45:46Let's run.
00:45:48Come on.
00:45:48Let's go.
00:45:50Come on.
00:45:51Let's run.
00:45:52You ingress. I've stood by too long and watched you murder my children.
00:46:02Leave now. But my children are strong.
00:46:05And when they leave their mother's nest, they'll find you.
00:46:08We'll hunt you down and we'll make you one of them.
00:46:11God damn, you all have a lot of cameras around here, don't you?
00:46:15Let's get the hell out of here.
00:46:16No.
00:46:17What?
00:46:17Oh, God, don't you see what she's planning to do?
00:46:19Do you have any idea what's going to happen if these things get out of here?
00:46:22God, can't you see that?
00:46:23Let's just let the fucking army handle this shit, all right?
00:46:26I have seen you kill the same thing twice in the past ten minutes.
00:46:30What about the halon system?
00:46:31The what?
00:46:32The halon system.
00:46:33It's a kill-safe system for fire and other unforeseen events.
00:46:36It pumps halon gas into all seven levels of the complex.
00:46:40Would that work?
00:46:42The parasites live on oxygen just like us.
00:46:45And if we kill all of them at once, then...
00:46:46There wouldn't be any left to reanimate the host, you're right.
00:46:49Yeah, that's the only thing we can do.
00:46:50Well, ladies, just exactly how the hell are we going to get this done, huh?
00:46:52We have to go up to the main lab floor.
00:46:54I can only do it from the control room.
00:46:55No!
00:46:56Absolutely not!
00:46:59Have you people been paying attention?
00:47:01You just want to stroll through the lab, confront Bowlin, and save the fucking world!
00:47:07Well, over my dead body!
00:47:10Oh, my God!
00:47:19It killed Greg!
00:47:21That was the loss of a great human being.
00:47:23It's all right.
00:47:24Calm down.
00:47:24Oh, my God!
00:47:25Calm down.
00:47:26Calm down.
00:47:27It's okay.
00:47:29It'll be okay.
00:47:30Bowlin, she is not going down without a fight.
00:47:33She has completely lost it.
00:47:34You mean that bag lady over the speakers?
00:47:36Yeah.
00:47:36Yeah.
00:47:37You're going to take long for us to take her, huh?
00:47:38Yeah.
00:47:39You better not take us long.
00:47:40You've got 20 minutes, and I've still got to get a cake.
00:47:43Yeah, a cake.
00:47:43Yeah, well, you can take your time.
00:47:45Plan to be dead in 10.
00:47:50Well, looks like we're here.
00:47:56Let's go kill this bitch.
00:47:57Follow me.
00:48:08Let's go kill this bitch.
00:48:38Max!
00:48:55Max!
00:48:56Use your hands!
00:49:00West?
00:49:00West?
00:49:01West?
00:49:01West?
00:49:02West?
00:49:03West?
00:49:04West?
00:49:05West?
00:49:06West?
00:49:07I don't know.
00:49:37I think we lost him.
00:50:02Shut the door! Shut the door! Shut the fucking door!
00:50:13I am! Where's the lock?
00:50:21Uh, I guess you're gonna have to hold it big guy.
00:50:25Seriously? Hey!
00:50:28Hey, stop! Max! Get ready!
00:50:52Holy shit! Let's go!
00:50:55Clock's still ticking! Let's get out of here, boys and girls!
00:51:01So much death.
00:51:03Max!
00:51:04Oh shit!
00:51:16Someone remembered his birthday.
00:51:18Are you kidding me?
00:51:19I think someone got him a tiny leather jacket.
00:51:21I like the jacket.
00:51:23And yes, I forgot my son's birthday because I'm an asshole.
00:51:26And my wife is gonna divorce me.
00:51:28Why? Because I'm here with you instead of being my son.
00:51:30Move on!
00:51:31Come on!
00:51:32Come on!
00:51:41And of course my wife hates my guts and is going to divorce me!
00:51:45Why?
00:51:46Because I'm here working with you instead of getting...
00:51:48Hey! Hey!
00:51:49What the fuck?
00:51:50Move your ass in!
00:51:51Hold on!
00:51:52Oh shit!
00:51:53Oh shit!
00:51:54Oh shit!
00:51:55Oh shit!
00:51:56Oh shit!
00:51:57Oh shit!
00:51:58Why are they attacking?
00:51:59Maybe they had a change of heart.
00:52:01Or maybe they're under new orders.
00:52:03Oh god!
00:52:04It's open!
00:52:05Oh god! Let's go!
00:52:06Go!
00:52:07Shut the door!
00:52:08Shut the door!
00:52:09My last clip.
00:52:18Max.
00:52:19Ellen?
00:52:20I thought I kindly asked you all to leave.
00:52:25Yeah.
00:52:26Well you don't follow directions well.
00:52:29Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now.
00:52:32I'll give you two.
00:52:34It wouldn't make any difference.
00:52:37I'm not their leader.
00:52:40They have no leader.
00:52:41Don't you see?
00:52:42That's the beauty of it.
00:52:44My children live and die for the good of the whole and you dare to call them monsters.
00:52:52Give me the second one.
00:52:55You can't.
00:52:56Soon you will be a part of the family and you and the rest of my children will follow me out of this prison to give the world a fresh new start!
00:53:07I have met some crazy bitches in my time.
00:53:10I thought I told you to shut your mouth!
00:53:12Shut yours!
00:53:20See lady?
00:53:22You bleed just like the rest of us.
00:53:24I'll find them Rafe.
00:53:26You're friends, your family and you'll beg to join them before the end!
00:53:31Shit!
00:53:32Shit!
00:53:33Shit!
00:53:34No!
00:53:35Damn it Rafe!
00:53:36Rafe Boland!
00:53:37Boland has top security clearance.
00:53:38She can open any door in this building.
00:53:39She can leave whenever she wants to.
00:53:41Damn it.
00:53:42Bitch is strong.
00:53:43Rafe you have to stop her.
00:53:44Alright.
00:53:45Wake up Sleeping Beauty over there.
00:53:47Yeah.
00:53:48See you girls downstairs in five minutes.
00:53:49You understand?
00:53:50Yeah.
00:53:51Five minutes.
00:53:52Alright.
00:53:54What's your password?
00:53:55Fuck you.
00:53:57All lowercase.
00:53:58Come on you crazy bitch.
00:54:07I ain't got all day.
00:54:13There you are.
00:54:25Dr. Boland?
00:54:28You will be so happy when you join us and become one of us.
00:54:35I'm already married bitch.
00:54:37Let's get to work.
00:54:52Is Max okay?
00:54:53Monica focus!
00:54:58No!
00:54:59No!
00:55:00No!
00:55:01No!
00:55:07So you guys miss me?
00:55:08Aaaaah!
00:55:09Aaaaaah!
00:55:10Aaaaah!
00:55:15Aaaaaah!
00:55:17No!
00:55:18No!
00:55:19No!
00:55:21Oh shit!
00:55:22No! No! Help! No! Help! Max! Help!
00:55:29Max! Help! Max!
00:55:31No! No! Max!
00:55:35Max! Help! Max!
00:55:41Max! Help!
00:55:43Thanks!
00:55:44You wanna make out?
00:55:52No!
00:56:03How we doing over there, princess?
00:56:05Don't rush me.
00:56:07I'm just looking for a rough estimate. Maybe one minute? Two minutes?
00:56:10Fuck!
00:56:11More?
00:56:15Alright. What's next?
00:56:18You humans are all the same!
00:56:23Yeah!
00:56:24Do you think you're at the top of the evolutionary chain?
00:56:35I'll show you evolution.
00:56:41Holy shit, woman. What'd you do to yourself?
00:56:46Monica!
00:56:48We can't hold him!
00:56:49I'm almost there.
00:56:51I want you to run to the middle of the room and start screaming.
00:56:54And then I'm gonna open the door.
00:56:55Oh fuck you! You go to the bathroom!
00:56:56I start running to the middle of the room and start screaming!
00:56:58What?
00:57:01Scream!
00:57:04Get down!
00:57:13You asshole!
00:57:15I got it!
00:57:18I got it!
00:57:23Are you ready to see forever?
00:57:29No!
00:57:36This is impossible!
00:57:38I'm biologically superior!
00:57:40I failed biology!
00:57:42I failed biology!
00:57:43I failed biology!
00:57:57Cake cake cake cake cake cake cake!
00:57:59Happy birthday!
00:58:00Oh no!
00:58:03I failed to hear you!
00:58:04I not to do anything.
00:58:05I failed to hear you!
00:58:06I failed to hear you!
00:58:07I failed to hear you!
00:58:09I failed to hear you!
00:58:10Oh shit!
00:58:12God, oh shit!
00:58:14shit!
00:58:16Oh...
00:58:18I'm sorry!
00:58:19Sweet Christ!
00:58:34You ready yet?
00:58:36Let's go!
00:58:41Bull is dead.
00:58:44Better news, I found a cake.
00:58:45Oh, Jesus Christ, let's go!
00:58:49Holy shit!
00:58:50I got it!
00:58:51Got him!
00:58:52Get him!
00:58:54Get him!
00:58:55Fuck!
00:58:56Fuck!
00:58:57Go!
00:58:58Go!
00:58:59Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
00:59:01Get him!
00:59:02Go!
00:59:03Go!
00:59:04What's that?
00:59:05I'm so scared.
00:59:06Go!
00:59:07Go!
00:59:08Get him!
00:59:09Go!
00:59:10Get him!
00:59:11Go!
00:59:12Look at him!
00:59:18Go!
00:59:18No, no.
00:59:48Dude, it's chocolate.
01:00:06Anxious.
01:00:08I hate cake.
01:00:13How can you hate cake?
01:00:18I hate cake.
01:00:48I hate cake.
01:00:55Isn't it gonna blow up or something?
01:00:58It's halo and it just pulls all the oxygen out of the air.
01:01:00You know those things should be taking their last breath right about now?
01:01:03It's not even going to blow up a little.
01:01:17Grow up.
01:01:19Oh, thank God.
01:01:24Cake's okay.
01:01:26What the fuck is that?
01:01:29Get that off.
01:01:32You did yourself pretty good in there.
01:01:35Thanks.
01:01:38You know, Monica, when I woke up this morning,
01:01:41I didn't have a care or worry in the world.
01:01:44I was like a 19-year-old kid at a frat party.
01:01:47You know, just trying to have a good time,
01:01:49but no real concern for consequence.
01:01:51Then I was attacked by humanoid aliens with retractable proboscis,
01:01:54and it got me thinking about some shit.
01:01:56I've never considered myself a selfish person.
01:01:59I believe in a collective human consciousness,
01:02:01it's kind of like a karmic wheel that gives us all what we deserve.
01:02:04But that hasn't kept me from doing some pretty terrible things.
01:02:07I mean, one time I strapped a grenade into a guy's mouth,
01:02:11and I dropped him off the top of a building.
01:02:13He exploded in mid-air.
01:02:14It was pretty gnarly even.
01:02:16Hell, Monica, on any other day,
01:02:18I would have grabbed you and used you as a human shield in there.
01:02:20But something happened when I saw those things attack you.
01:02:22It was like a switch inside me flipped,
01:02:24and I couldn't let them hurt you.
01:02:26Because I believe that if I spent just a little more time with you,
01:02:30I know I'd find something really special,
01:02:33something really unique,
01:02:34something awesome inside of you.
01:02:38Myself.
01:02:39Max, you get laid later. Come on!
01:02:42Pleasure meeting you.
01:02:44He's hot.
01:02:54He's fucking dumb as a rock, but...
01:02:58He's hot.
01:03:00He's a poet.
01:03:04Check!
01:03:05Go!
01:03:14I think I got a drinking problem.
01:03:26Yeah.
01:03:27Really?
01:03:28Just came to that, huh?
01:03:44Boyfriends.
01:03:45From that dolly end.
01:03:48From that sparkle in your eye.
01:03:51Comes straight from my syringe.
01:04:02Summer to live.
01:04:03Too drunk to die.
01:04:05While all my fears have turned into lies.
01:04:08Summer to live.
01:04:09Too drunk to die.
01:04:11And I'm still waiting on a hat.
01:04:14Come on.
01:04:16I think I'm around it.
01:04:17Will someone.
01:04:18I'm over there.
01:04:19Have you ever been?
01:04:20You've never been.
01:04:21Huh.
01:04:22I'm over there.
01:04:23Come on.
01:04:24Summer to live.
01:04:25Too drunk to die.
01:04:26Well, all my fears have turned into lies.
01:04:29Summer to live.
01:04:31Too drunk to die.
01:04:32And I'm still waiting on an alibi.
01:04:35Here comes another cat-cat at the Waffle house.
01:04:43You better get those eggs to go
01:04:45What if there was a piece of technology that could wash away the loser yesterday
01:04:50And replace him with a hot, young, vibrant, sexual...
01:05:13So let it find me a dream
01:05:43Okay homeless guy, this is a reality check
01:06:01Okay
01:06:02This is my best friend's house
01:06:04It's a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood
01:06:07Now when we get inside, you're going to see a lot of nice stuff
01:06:10And your homeless instincts are going to try to tell you to take some of it
01:06:14Don't fucking, hey, don't do that
01:06:17Don't do that
01:06:18Now, there's also going to be a lot of nice people
01:06:21And first and foremost is my best friend's wife
01:06:24Her name is Tammy
01:06:26Tammy is a very nice lady
01:06:28And if Tammy is happy, we are all fucking happy, you got it?
01:06:33Yes sir
01:06:35Now, hey, hey, hey
01:06:37I'm awake
01:06:38Are you with me?
01:06:39God, if this doesn't work, I'm so divorced
01:06:40There's a lot of kids in there, okay?
01:06:42So you're going to go in there
01:06:43You're going to dance around
01:06:45You're going to make some fucking balloon animals
01:06:48And you're going to act like a god damn clown
01:06:50Like a clown?
01:06:51Do you have any questions?
01:06:53No, I don't have any questions, no
01:06:55I love you bum clown
01:06:57God
01:06:59Okay
01:07:00You don't happen to know where my husband is, do you?
01:07:09You know Rave
01:07:11Probably out still scrounging up a present for Jimmy
01:07:14Just...
01:07:15Samantha Carter
01:07:16We've been friends for too long for you to bullshit me right now
01:07:19Okay, well I...
01:07:21Oh my god
01:07:27Oh my god
01:07:29Dad!
01:07:30Hey!
01:07:31Look what I got you buddy
01:07:32Come on, check it out
01:07:33A Y box!
01:07:34Yeah!
01:07:35Awesome!
01:07:36Way to go, huh?
01:07:37Nice
01:08:07So...
01:08:09Cake?
01:08:10Yeah, come on
01:08:13You all look like shit
01:08:14What the hell happened?
01:08:15Eat a dick Sam
01:08:16I'm pretty sure we just saved the world
01:08:17Give me a fucking break Max
01:08:20Look sweetheart
01:08:22I could give you any number of excuses
01:08:25I know you're not going to believe them
01:08:27You're probably not going to believe the truth
01:08:29Hell, I wouldn't either
01:08:32But here it goes
01:08:35Yes, I was working
01:08:37No, I didn't call
01:08:38The reason I didn't call was
01:08:39Because we were locked in a lab
01:08:40And we were trying to be killed by
01:08:42Non-terrestrial enemies
01:08:43Aliens
01:08:44Fucking aliens
01:08:45Like E.T.
01:08:46But like tentacles and stuff
01:08:47And they were hopped up on NTF
01:08:48And I don't know what the hell that was
01:08:49But it drove me crazy
01:08:50They were trying to kill us
01:08:51And they destroyed my phone
01:08:52And that's why I didn't call
01:08:55The bottom line is
01:08:56I swear
01:08:58I will never, ever
01:09:00Work another weekend
01:09:01As long as I live
01:09:03Rafe
01:09:05You did good
01:09:07I did
01:09:08You did very good
01:09:09I did?
01:09:10Yeah
01:09:11Really?
01:09:12Yeah, really
01:09:13How the hell did you get here?
01:09:14We have our ways
01:09:15We?
01:09:16Who's we?
01:09:17Who's we?
01:09:18We have our ways
01:09:19We?
01:09:20Who's we?
01:09:22Who's we?
01:09:23Who's we?
01:09:24Who's we?
01:09:25Who's we?
01:09:27No, there's no choice
01:09:28No, there's no choice
01:09:29How the hell did you get here?
01:09:31We have our ways
01:09:32We?
01:09:33Who's we?
01:09:34Hey, Stranger.
01:09:38How the hell did you get here?
01:09:40We have our ways.
01:09:42We?
01:09:44Who's we?
01:09:58Hey there, Tiger.
01:10:02No shit.
01:10:04It was the strangest goddamn day of my life.
01:10:12You died, fam.
01:10:14You died.
01:10:15You died.
01:10:16You died.
01:10:17I'm going to go.
01:10:19I'm going to go.
01:10:21I'm going to go.
01:10:23I know.
01:10:24I'm going to go.
01:10:26Do you want me to go?
01:10:27No!
01:10:28No!
01:10:29Teachers, they've been teaching me
01:10:31Oh, I don't know my style
01:10:33Teachers, that's not teaching me
01:10:36Oh, everything you don't know
01:10:38I get a lot of hell for me to be
01:10:41I said I get a lot of hell for me
01:10:43And that's nothing that I have to be
01:10:46No, nothing that I have to be
01:10:48People keep telling me I'm on the wrong path
01:10:50I'm a grown man, I don't need all that
01:10:52Let the past be the past, focus on the present
01:10:55Live for the day, you gotta take it as a lesson
01:10:57Stop with your stress and ignore the hate
01:10:59See, I know it gets bad when these people are fake
01:11:02Got a whole lot to say, even more to prove
01:11:04They meet to me, and yo, you can do good
01:11:06Coming from a long line of reverence
01:11:08I can tell you've been down on yourself again
01:11:11Keep your head up when you're feeling low
01:11:13Cause everybody's felt that way before
01:11:15And ain't nobody knowing no more than you
01:11:18We're showing you a damn thing that you don't want to
01:11:21Keep an open mind, baby, you will be fine on your own
01:11:24Whoa, whoa
01:11:25Teachers ain't been teaching me
01:11:29What a random rock star
01:11:31Teachers, let's not teach me
01:11:34Why religion don't go
01:11:35I get a lot of hell for giving me
01:11:38I said I get a lot of hell for free
01:11:41And there's nothing that I have to be
01:11:43No, nothing that I have to be
01:11:45Here it goes again, it's the same old song
01:11:48Who are you to tell me? Well, we're wrong
01:11:50All I got to do, live and let die
01:11:52Like the hands on the clock when the time pass by
01:11:55People gon' talk, point to blame
01:11:57Some of them run through the dirt with your name
01:12:00It's all good though, we all die alone
01:12:02You're here one day, then you're gone
01:12:04When the white rings a desk out of your days
01:12:06The words are of no more use
01:12:08Will you see the morbid truth?
01:12:09The light for you is nothing but a poor excuse
01:12:11A game of blame
01:12:12Didn't have the fortitude to lead the way
01:12:15Hear what you got to say
01:12:16Instead obey the words of all those who pray
01:12:18On the weak mind that don't seem sick
01:12:20But don't find nothing
01:12:21If you can listen, you're alive
01:12:23You want it
01:12:29You crave it
01:12:31You can almost taste it
01:12:34And now it's finally here
01:12:37And it's sexier than anything you've ever seen
01:12:41The Y-Box 720
01:12:44Everything you need to nuke, strangle, dropkick
01:12:48Or blow the living shit out of your enemy
01:12:50It's the next step in time-wasting fantasy play
01:12:53Kill zombies
01:12:55Destroy cities
01:12:57Beat hookers
01:12:59And play fake guitar with a bunch of buttons
01:13:03Instead of real strings
01:13:05I used to be an alcoholic
01:13:07No money, no friends
01:13:09My wife left me, my kids disowned me
01:13:11But ever since I got my new Y-Box
01:13:13Things have really turned around for me
01:13:15Sure, I'm still a jobless loser
01:13:18But I just don't care anymore
01:13:19And I still drink
01:13:21Thanks, Y-Box
01:13:23When my husband was murdered
01:13:25I was a wreck
01:13:26I couldn't eat
01:13:27I couldn't sleep
01:13:29All I did was cry
01:13:30I was being a total pussy
01:13:33But then, I got a Y-Box
01:13:35And a case of energy drinks
01:13:36And I went on a two-week bender
01:13:37Killing virtual cops and prostitutes
01:13:39Now, I don't even remember my husband's name
01:13:42Thanks, Y-Box
01:13:44With 1,024-bit graphics
01:13:46And a solid iron casing
01:13:48The Y-Box 720 is twice as awesome
01:13:50And at least three times as heavy
01:13:52As those other video gaming systems
01:13:54I should know
01:13:55I built it
01:13:57Titles include
01:13:59Long Lobbins Cornhole Pro
01:14:01Call of Booty Modern Affair
01:14:03And Cop Dodger 2
01:14:05Thugs with Slugs
01:14:07Y-Box
01:14:08It will get you respect
01:14:10It will get you drunk underage
01:14:13And it will get you laid
01:14:15My friend's kid wanted a Y-Box
01:14:17The first week it came out
01:14:18He wouldn't believe what I had to go through
01:14:20To get one
01:14:20I had to save the fucking world
01:14:22I killed a lot of people
01:14:25And it was totally worth it
01:14:27So I got laid that night
01:14:28Two chicks
01:14:30Same time
01:14:31Thanks, Y-Box
01:14:34So this city is so silent
01:14:40Like a blast in the back of every system
01:14:43Yet we remain alive
01:14:46And fly to the monsters that we have
01:14:49This world is set against my will
01:14:56This world is set against my will
01:15:10Fallen angels
01:15:13Take me still
01:15:15And all I have
01:15:19Time to kill
01:15:26To live my own life
01:15:30Nowhere to run
01:15:31And I'm dying for me
01:15:35And nothing's now
01:15:36Don't turn it down
01:15:38And now the rage is crying
01:15:41We fight and we stand right on the wrong
01:15:44We fight and we stand right on the wrong
01:15:45We fight and all the laughs are wrong
01:15:48But the danger is temptation
01:15:51To fight and fall in love
01:15:54While some race is a crime
01:15:58How they fall across this line
01:16:01We live to see the ending
01:16:04Surviving over time
01:16:06Don't stop at all
01:16:09We see the ending
01:16:12We try to go
01:16:12On the back of every system
01:16:14Just take me to forgive me
01:16:17And walk away
01:16:19I, you see, you see, I don't feel it
01:16:21I, you see...
01:16:21I, you see, you see, you see, you see...
01:16:22I, you see Oh, you see...
01:16:24I minus the less or if you see, you see...
01:16:24I will see the end, that shall be
01:16:32Hold me the light, my breath in the sky
01:16:40On my skin
01:16:45Give us our soul, I love, we do care
01:16:48And now the night is falling
01:16:52We hate like one, you taste the wine
01:16:55And now the grave is falling
01:16:58We fight to stand right on the wrong
01:17:02Nothing only lasts so long
01:17:05But the dangerous temptation
01:17:09But the glory is strong
01:17:12While some may see the crime
01:17:15Others for our justice blood
01:17:18Will we live to see the ending?
01:17:21Surviving of the time
01:17:51I am not trying to start
01:17:53You know, at that moment
01:17:53I am not Massaro
01:17:55tactile
01:17:57And there cannot be confusion
01:17:57If we are слуш
01:17:58The motive for your death
01:17:59And instead can't be
01:18:13We keep wearing amen
01:18:14Our lieu of invisible
01:18:15Are the same?
01:18:18Are the same?
01:18:20Dating?
01:18:21We fight to survive by now
01:18:25We're passing by
01:18:27Dangerous solitude
01:18:31Oh, I wanna see a crime
01:18:35We're going to save time
01:18:38Ah, we're just fine
01:18:40We're missing the ending
01:18:43We're riding over time
01:19:13guitar solo
01:19:43guitar solo
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