00:30The basic mechanics of swimming are so simple, but there's that classic, where are the treasures?
00:39They're in the cave, and they're guarded by the dragon.
00:43You have to pick the darkest spot and go in.
00:46You've got to do it yourself.
00:49If you could just think of any problem in your life, isn't it the truth?
00:55You can't get the treasures unless you face the dragon.
01:00It's all our daughter.
01:30You know, she was born.
01:31When we got this house, we had a pool, and so we thought, that's dangerous.
01:36She needed to swim, and it was a big deal because the coach's little flyer.
01:41It was literally like, get your kids to swim in four days, it's guaranteed.
01:44And I thought, that sounds brutal, but it was just such a fascinating experience to see how capable kids are, and they're capable physically of doing it, and capable of emotionally going through a challenging experience.
01:59And so I thought, wow, that's a job?
02:02It's absolutely magical.
02:05It has a beginning and an end.
02:14It's eight days, and he makes it look easy.
02:17It isn't.
02:18All right.
02:23Hi, Iris.
02:23Come on in.
02:24You can just sit here on the steps, Peanut.
02:27You're okay, babe.
02:28You're going to sit here.
02:29Day one, the main thing is where we're getting to know each other.
02:35This is King.
02:37King, this is Dean.
02:39This is Blake.
02:41Blake, this is Rio.
02:42And you know what my name is?
02:43My name's Bill.
02:48Bill.
02:49Yeah, I'm here to help you guys swim.
02:51The most important concept that they grasp on the first day is, I can be independently safe.
03:00That is holding the edge.
03:01At first, that's terrifying.
03:03No one's holding me.
03:03I'm alone.
03:05And then it's like, hey, I can do this, and I can get back to the steps.
03:08And also, if a kid falls in the pool, they're buying an edge.
03:14All they need to do, grab that edge, and then they can save their life.
03:18They can get back to safety.
03:20Here he goes.
03:22Whoa.
03:24And the students are getting to know, and it doesn't matter what age they are, it's all,
03:31what is this?
03:33And there either is, what is this?
03:36Ooh, this is great.
03:38Or, what is this?
03:39I've got to get out of here.
03:55The younger kids, it's just, I want out of here.
03:59You can have all the feelings you want, be scared, be happy, whatever.
04:27I'm not here to change your feelings.
04:30But you have to stay until the class is over.
04:36This is what it is.
04:37It's pretty straightforward.
04:39The main thing is that I'm right here.
04:42Words are a very, very, very small part of this.
04:46It's action and intention.
04:47And the action is, you don't have a choice.
04:56I'm done!
04:57Zippy, you're not in charge.
04:59You're not the teacher, and you're not in charge.
05:00I am not done!
05:01I have to evaluate every kid and go, like, how far can I go today?
05:05You're okay.
05:06I got your hands.
05:07You're going to come to me?
05:08And then we're just going to...
05:09Some kids are so resistant to put their face in, I'm not going to force that in the first
05:14turn, because I'd rather have trust first.
05:18Then, if we get that trust, then later I can go, and then they just do it.
05:24Zippy, I'm going to hold your hands.
05:53Ready, set, go.
05:55Nice and easy.
06:02It's hard.
06:03I mean, your kid's asking you to make something stop, and there was a lot of tension.
06:11Let's get the boogies.
06:13Pa-ching!
06:18Pa-ching!
06:23There is definitely a general pattern that you'll see day one, day two, day three.
06:35But it's always new.
06:37It's always interesting and unpredictable, and I never know what I'm getting.
06:41Aris is going to be a great swimmer by the end.
06:49She just didn't like the situation.
06:52The other guys were still in a hyper-I-want mode.
06:55In the beginning, it's like people are a little suspicious.
07:02It's almost like he's a villain.
07:04They're like, what are you doing to my kid?
07:05You're making him do this thing.
07:07They're saying, mommy.
07:08They don't like it.
07:09It's really emotional.
07:10It can be hard on the parents just to watch and not say anything, but that's what I've asked them to do.
07:20And the number one mistake that parents make is that they measure their child's success by how much they're crying.
07:28You have to guide them to what the body can do so that they can decide when they're okay about it.
07:38But you can't measure it by crying because that's not swimming.
07:50He sometimes will say, I've got this one kid, and I just hope we can get through this day.
07:55Because you don't want someone to stop before they're successful.
08:01Because then it could be traumatizing because you're just saying, yeah, that was a lot, and we stopped.
08:10It's the worst, worst, worst part of my job is the thought that someone might do that.
08:17Zippy has a couple issues going on.
08:32She likes to be in control, and she's suffering when she's not in control.
08:38The only thing that actually hurts about swimming is if you get water up your nose.
08:52Beautiful.
08:53All right, good.
08:55Zippy, because she's also crying, you're more likely to get the water up your nose.
09:01All the way, all the way.
09:04Zippy.
09:04Every once in a while, I'll get one kid a year, maybe two, where it's just a lot of stuff to take in.
09:15They have a lot of resistance.
09:16They can't kick, or they're snorting water.
09:19And you just need more than eight days.
09:24But I've got to get into that brain and show it over and over and over and over that it's okay.
09:31Which is, it's brutal, it's tough.
09:32And it seems like when a kid's crying the most, that's when you should let go and like, okay, settle down, it's going to be okay.
09:47But when I can tell what the crying is from, like with Zippy, then you just got to let repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition.
09:56Beautiful dips, all right, and then you can go rest them.
10:00But it looks mean sometimes.
10:02It's tough.
10:03I can guarantee she would break through in a matter of time.
10:13It's hard for me because I can see that her mom is confused and she wants her to be happy.
10:22She wants her to be swimming.
10:25I don't want to run to the other way.
10:27I'm not going to run to the other way.
10:29Zippy, Zippy, Zippy, you're not in charge.
10:31I'm not in charge.
10:32You're not in charge.
10:33You're not in charge.
10:33You're going to swim to the other way.
10:35I'm not in charge.
10:36River's mom came in, and I say this just to illustrate an example of how we overthink things.
11:04So we were talking on the car ride over about how when River sits on the steps, it's a little gas for a towel because it makes it feel.
11:17Well, the kids know towel means the class is over.
11:20And she thought, how about if we give him a towel by the edge of the pool, then maybe he'll feel better about the towel because then the towel is closer than me and I'm over here.
11:34So often we put our adult thoughts into the kid.
11:42I agree with Bill.
11:44You can feel however you need to feel, buddy.
11:47I agree.
11:48And right now we're in a stage where we chase our kids' eternal happiness rather than carry their hand through the fire and say, sometimes it sucks.
12:00But we've got to keep going.
12:03I want to see you.
12:05I want to see you.
12:08Hey, River.
12:09We're going to get the towel when class is over.
12:12But it's not over yet.
12:17That's an imbalance that I see happening today.
12:21We just don't want our kids to feel anything bad.
12:25Nice and easy, Riv.
12:28Hey, Riv, where's Bill?
12:29We don't need to force him to stop crying.
12:33What we need to do is show him that he's swimming.
12:36All right.
12:36Nice and easy, Riv.
12:40Hey, Riv, did you just swim?
12:44You did?
12:45By yourself?
12:47You got boogies?
12:48Yeah.
12:49Let's get them.
12:51Any more boogies?
12:53Yeah.
12:53Let's get them.
12:54They're over here.
12:56Ching.
12:56Hey, look at this.
12:59You've got to be kidding me.
13:01Mom.
13:02You've got to be kidding me.
13:04Are you kidding me?
13:06Are you kidding me?
13:08Yeah.
13:09You're kidding me.
13:11And, of course, what happened?
13:13He started to giggle.
13:15He realized, oh, this kiss is kind of fun.
13:17It works.
13:18Are you kidding me?
13:19Yeah.
13:20And it's become obvious to me that to excite the mind to learn something new has to be led
13:27by the learner and not by the teacher.
13:33And then he had his first day of, like, just having a blast.
13:37That had nothing to do with me.
13:39It had nothing to do with his mom.
13:40It was him having his process.
13:42I have the same hat every day.
13:59I have the same shirt every day.
14:01I have the same water bottle every day.
14:03I have the same requests every day.
14:07What changes is that they get comfortable with the pattern.
14:12Heiress.
14:16She looked at me at this one moment, and it was like, all right, you're okay.
14:22And then I knew she's going to be fine.
14:26She has decided that she can find a place where she can just go, okay, it's you.
14:31Fine.
14:31I can do that.
14:37Zippy.
14:38I told her to keep her mouth closed.
14:40You close your mouth, you create a pocket of air.
14:46And she started to realize, when I accept what I can't change, it's better.
14:55I can face it now.
14:56She's realizing, maybe it's okay to not be in control, and then made great progress.
15:08All right.
15:14What are you doing, Zip?
15:15I'm going to want to take on the water.
15:18Show me.
15:19My dream would be that all kids learn to swim as soon as they're able, and that all parents
15:39get to watch it happen.
15:40That would be my dream.
15:42And when I see these kids going through this thing, I just realize we're so much more powerful
15:52than we realize.
15:55We come up against a problem.
15:56We figure out how to fix it.
15:57And to me, swimming is the best analogy, because no one can fix it for you.
16:05It's you and the water.
16:06Let's say it's for a swim.
16:32You can only do it alone.
16:34If someone is holding you, you're not doing it.
16:38A person's doing it.
16:40I'm completely independent here, and I'm doing this by myself.
16:48And I see it a lot with the kids.
16:54It hit me as if you're learning to fly.
16:59And you can't fly unless you're in the sky.
17:01You can't swim unless you're alone in the water.
17:05It's the same thing.
17:06And you do have to jump to learn to fly.
17:10And it's the same thing with swimming.
17:12You have to take off to see that you can do it, and you can do it by yourself.
17:16A lot can happen, and it depends on the kid, but I guess I know they're going to swim at the end.
17:41But I don't know what their journey's going to be.
17:45I don't know how we're going to get there.
17:47We play it by ear every turn.
17:48It's a real strange thing that he starts a villain on day one, and by day eight, he's a hero.
18:01And then he has a couple days off, and then he does it again.
18:04And he's like, what other job do you do that to yourself?
18:06To a certain extent, I feel like my dad cracked the code.
18:16There was a lot of times where I would look at this as a kid, and I would be like, this looks easy.
18:22And then I started to teach kids how to swim myself.
18:27And it's challenging.
18:28But it's just a thrill to see it every time.
18:34I never get sick of it.
18:36And it's not a mystery why.
18:38It's like the rawest, purest form of a human going through a struggle and being triumphant at the end of it and joyous.
18:47They can look at something that seems insurmountable and become successful at it very quickly.
18:54I mean, wow.
18:58I think, in a way, this is just a magical little window of life.
19:04They just got here from wherever we come from.
19:08And it's where we're going again when we're done.
19:11And they're bringing that with them.
19:18When I saw my daughter in the first moments that she was born, she looked around, and it was like she said,
19:26What is this?
19:28And I realized that's what being a parent is.
19:33You show them what this is.
19:35I can't think of anything else that's life-threatening that you can conquer at age two.
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